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dude-wheres-makar · 3 years

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Idk how expansion mock drafts work but anyway, if you followed me long enough you know. I'M BIASED. I made this at 3:30 AM. These all suck, and half of these aren't actually specifying a player.

Anaheim Ducks-I have never once cared for this team. Take their captain. He's bald. He looks like a kraken, but uglier, if he grew 4 more limbs.

Arizona Coyotes-uuuuuuhhhh I don't want yotes fans to get mad at me.... but Clayton. I don't want him to be on a team that my favorite team hates.

Boston Bruins- Pasta. Just. Just Pasta. I'm not sorry.

Buffalo Sabres- JEFF. TAKE JEFF SKINNER. PLEASEEEEEEE

Calgary Flames- Don't worry, this is a part of the plan, Matthew Tkachuk. DON'T. WORRY.

Carolina Hurricanes- If you take any of them istg. Pls don't. ESPECIALLY LORENTZ OR NEČI. I WILL GO TO SEATTLE. I WILL FUCKING-

Colorado Avalanche- I know. I just fucking KNOW. I will cry. BUT. Hear me it- Any goalie that isn't Grubauer or Francouz. K?

Columbus Blue Jackets- Anyone but the goalies. Have em.

Dallas Stars- Uuuuuuuuhhhh Okay. Shit umm. I don't- hmmmmmm Just. I. Someone. Okay stars fans don't kill me, Roope. I don't want him to be on a team my favorite team hates.

Detroit Red Wings- Vladislav Namestnikov

Edmonton Oilers- I don't FUCKING know. I- I'm fucking SCARED of this team, are you sane?????

Florida Panthers- I know ONE player, but I don't wanna put fans through that pain yet.

L.A. Kings- Maybe a goalie or somethin idk

Minnesota Wild- Touch the rookies and I will-

Montreal Canadiens- Tataaaaaaar

Nashville Predators- I'm an avs fan that doesn't like Matt Duchene. So Matt Duchene.

New Jersey Devils- I think fans go through enough. Don't take jack or nico k thanks

New York Islanders- I'll give you a hint. I said he has a small face once. It's beauvillier. I have no reasoning for this.

New York Rangers- Both players I am thinking of absolutely need to stay on this team. *rolls die* Okay it has been determined: Rooney. I have no clue who the hell that is.

Ottawa Senators- Literally anyone.

Philadelphia Flyers- You know what I think would be HILARIOUS?? If you took Nolan Patrick. I will cry from laughing so hard.

Pittsburgh Penguins- Shit.

San Jose Sharks- Dude who tf is on this team anymore. They are walmart brand kraken when the kraken actually will exist.

St. Louis Blues- I hear everything but also nothing about this team. *Rolls another die* Bortuzzo. Haven't heard that name in years (months)

Tampa Bay Lightning- Don't touch the captain or goalies, and you will be fine.

Toronto Maple Leafs- Okay remember that plan I was talking about?? Rittich. We all need them back together and this is how we do it.

Vancouver Canucks- GOALIE GOALIE GOALIE

Vegas Golden Knights- I should've waited to make this in the offseason so I'm not intimidated.

Washington Capitals- Okay, so I wanna like the kraken. So DO NOT take Wilson, or else I will hate you. I don't want a piece of trash on the team. K?

Winnipeg Jets-(My Connor bias incoming) If your name is Connor, please stand. Hellebuyck? Aight.

#dude im rambling #I'm gonna tag nolan patrick because there are people that probably have him filtered #nolan patrick

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bqstqnbruin · 4 years

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Why the bruins locker room is toxic? Sorry I'm not a bruins fans

To start, I’m aware no one will probably read this because they’ll see Bruins and scroll past it but I hope people actually do, even if it is to just disagree with me. This is from the perspective of a die hard Bruins fan. I’m from New England, I only get Bruins games broadcasted with our cable package. I grew up with them. They are my men, always have been, always will be. I have also talked about this with friends who hate the Bruins, who are Flyers, Devils, or Capitals fans, and they all agree with what I’m saying, so I would like to hope this isn’t taken as a biased rant. Anyone is free to message me about this and we can talk about it (but I have a paper due in 14 hours on American education during the Great Depression so it might have to wait until tomorrow night).

So I’ve been saying that sarcastically first and foremost. I just reblogged this post which has direct quotes from the article I’m referencing but here’s my little summary:

Basically an article in the Athletic came out in May saying that the Bruins bully and “abuse” Jake DeBrusk, right after Akim Aliu’s post about the actual abuse he and other players of color have faced in the NHL. Obviously, given the time, this is very bad, because abuse is not something that should ever be joked about, and if it is something that actually happens, then it should be talked about in the appropriate manner. When you read the article, it talks about how the boys chirp Jake, which he said he enjoys, and then, in turn, chirps back. He also chirps himself. The guys in the locker room know who can handle a chirp and who can’t, so if you’re one of the guys who can’t, they don’t do it. Literally, every friend group teases each other, if you have a good group of friends and they know you don’t enjoy it, then hopefully, they don’t and won’t do it to you. The Bruins are an example of this friend group.

People took this as the entire locker room bullies Jake, so now everyone who hates the Bruins (which is most people which like fine I understand: I’m a Boston fan who lives in Philadelphia, I’ve been verbally and physically attacked for it) is saying “Jake to Seattle” or “Jake isn’t treated right by his team,” or my favorite, “Jake deserves better” when he has said time and time again he loves the guys and doesn’t want to leave Boston.

When you watch any video or read any other article about the Bruins, the people who are on the team now or were on the team in the past talk about how much they love each other. I think it was Marcus Johansson (who played for the Bruins last season ? the season before ? idk, I have no sense of time [and yes, my friends tease me for it because I tease myself about it]) who talked about how the entire team was one large friend group, that you could hang out with anyone at any time, that there were no cliques, no groups or players that exclusively hung out with others and excluded their teammates. Craig Smith, our newly acquired man just said in his welcome interview how Bergy talks about how much he loves his team. If you look at all the goodbye posts for Torey, they’re all heartbreaking and lovey for him and he reflects that love back for the team (even though management did him dirty but that’s another story aka the business of hockey). If you want, I can and will find the examples I’m referencing, but like I said it has to wait until tomorrow because of my paper.

It just personally pisses me off because people took the one article, which was posted at such an insensitive time, and ran with it and won’t let it go. No one liked Jake as much before they thought he was being ‘bullied.’ If you go and look at the Athletic article now, the title has been changed and it has an editors note saying the original title was misleading and insensitive and has been changed for that reason. I know this is going to sound like a whiney Bruins fan, so fine, take that as such if you want to, but if this were to be reported about any other team, people would be jumping and saying hey wait, this isn’t true, people outside the immediate fanbase of whichever team is in question.

So long story short, I’m being a slightly annoying sarcastic bitch (which I am a lot, but normally not on here like I am being right now I am so sorry), and the locker room is not toxic, people just aren’t looking at the whole story, and I really do wish they would. Jake loves Boston and we love him.

#jake debrusk #boston bruins #ramblings #anon #STOP SAYING JAKE ISN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY HIS TEAM

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an-olive-crown-blog · 6 years

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THE A TO Z OF RYAN FLYNN

a.d.d. // you don’t get diagnosed with a.d.d. until you’re in the fourth grade. you’ve always know how smart you were, but translating the things going on in your brain into being a productive student caused you to struggle. your classmates always just assuemd you were stupid - the class clown who sat in the back and made the other students laugh. it was a role you happily slipped in to; even after the diagnosis.

boston // it’s always been boston or bust for you. you didn’t grow up that far outside of the city but there was never a place in the world that felt as much home to you as boston does. you live and die by this city.

chinook // she’s named after a strain of hops - because of course you would do something like that. she’s the light of your life, the center of your world, the best brewery dog to ever grace the earth. she’s a swiss mountain dog; big, slobbery, and full of love. your girlfriend hates it, but she sleeps in the bed, nestled down by your legs. no amount of fighting will ever change this.

david ortiz // he’s a legend in boston and as a die hard red sox fan you almost crap your pants when you think you see him sitting at the bar in strip by strega on arlington. it doesn’t turn out to be him, though, even after you’ve made a spectacular ass out of yourself in front of your date. you don’t get a kiss at the end of the night, not the you were expecting one after the noise that came out of your mouth when you first thought it was big papi sitting three bar stools away.

exeter street // the last time you see olivia she’s outside of her hotel, clambering into a cab that’s idling on the curb of exeter street. you thought that seeing her after all these years would be fine, that you were over it. it was just coffee, for crying out loud. but she’s leaving again, back to the new life she made for herself in california. there was supposed to be closure but not it just feels like you’ve ripped the bandaid off the bullet wound she left in your heart.

forward // hockey has always had a presence in your life, as it does for most guys who grow up in new england. you’ve been going to bruins games since you’ve been old enough not to cry about the noise or the cold. you’ve even worn your own sweater in highschool as a forward. you were good, but not great. a career in the NHL was certainly never in your future. but now that you’re older you appreciate it more; appreciate the fact that getting your ass up on sunday mornings to play as a forward for the beer league is important to your health (no matter how much your achy body says otherwise come monday morning).

griffin’s wharf brewing // you go through name after name after name before you find one by mistake. griffin’s whart if the supposed site of the boston tea party, an integral part of the history of the city that you love so much. when you come across this fact in a book, it doesn’t take much convincing for your partner to agree that it’s the perfect name for the brewery you’re planning on opening.

harvard // it was silly, ridiculous to think that you could be a harvard man. but it was what was expected of you - to attend your father’s alma mater, to get a degree in chemistry. but school was never easy for you, and while the classes you take aren’t hard, you can’t help but dig yourself so far into a hole that there’s no way out. you drop out at the end of junior year, just one year shy of graduation. looking back, you can boil it all down to self-sabotage.

isla // everyone says that she should have been the first child, and honestly, you can’t help but agree. she’s two years younger than you but she’s always had her shit together, has always known where she was going in life and how she was getting there. she exudes what you’d expect from the oldest sibling while you’ve always flown by the seat of your pants. no one ever believes it when you say that you’re the older sibling.

january // there’s new england blood running through your veins, a fact you can’t deny. there’s something peaceful about the cold of winter; when it reaches it’s peak right at the end of january, your favorite month. the city bustles along as usual, but there’s a quieter quality about it that you can’t quite put your finger on.

kayaking // it’s one of the few things you love about summer, when the city is sticky and hat and ridiculously overpacked with tourists. the charles is actually nice when you’re on the water when in comparison to when you’re on the esplanade. it’s quieter, too, especially if you go in the morning before the sailing academy starts it’s lessons for all those privileged children of beacon hill.

loan // you’re well versed in the world of loans - you’ve got a mountain of them from those unfinished years at harvard. but this is different. this loan, a business loan, could make or break you depending on what the bank says. there’s a fledgling, fragile dream you’ve concocted of owning a brewery and it’s the only thing you’ve ever felt so sure of over the course of your entire life (save for maybe one other thing, a girl named olivia, but that’s nothing more than a pipe dream at this point). when the bank gets back to you and agrees to the loan, it’s the only time you’ve ever cried tears of relief.

massachusetts avenue // the location couldn’t be better - a refurbished building on mass ave in central square. it’s technically not in boston, like you’d originally wanted, but the rent is cheap and the space is good. central square is up and coming, anyway, bustling with hip college students and young professionals. it’s the perfect place for a brewery.

newton, massachusetts // it’s a nice town, you can admit now that you’re older. you can’t really complain about the life you had growing up there because it was a good childhood. it was every suburban cliche you can think of, but it was your parents dream. and while you don’t necessarily share that dream with them - the white picket fence one - it really wasn’t such a bad place to grow up.

olivia // she may be the only girl you’ve ever really loved. she was the big one, the epic love of your life. you’ll never admit it out loud, but it’s not like you have to. anyone close enough to you knows the damage that was done when she left for stanford and you stubbornly refused to follow her. there’s been an aching in your heart ever since.

patriots // you aren’t as big of a patriots fan as you are a fan of the red sox, but there’s no denying that your blood runs navy and red. you are a walking, talking new england cliche, but there is nothing quite like shotgunning beers to stay warm in the parking lot of the stadium in foxboro.

quincy market // it’s the only part of the city that you truly detest and avoid as much as possible. it’s too touristy, too filled with people walking slow and doing what’s expected of them while visiting boston. the only time you ever go is in the dead of winter, when the big christmas tree is all lit up and beautiful in the middle of the marketplace.

red sox // you’ve been going to games since you were too little to remember. there’s a familiarity about fenway; the green monster, the cold beer in flimsy plastic cups. you were there when they broke the curse in 2004 and won the world series, and while you don’t get to go to as many games as you’d like anymore, there’s a calender hung on the fridge of your apartment with the season schedule.

simcoe hops // the first beer you ever sell to your first customer - your first real customer, who isn’t in any way, shape, or form, related to you or your partner - is made with simcoe hops. it’s one of your early favorites - dry hopped and earthy with fruity finishing notes. it quickly goes on to be one of the breweries most popular beers.

thirsty scholar // you meet olivia at the bar in inman square as a sophomore with a fake ID. you don’t even know why you’ve strayed so far from the usual bars in harvard square, but when you lock eyes with her from across the dimly lit bar, you feel like the stars have aligned. like every decision you’ve ever made in life has led to this one moment in time (in a dirty, college bar of all places).

urban legends // it’s a weird quirk, even for you. you’re very scientific minded - logical, analytical, quick to solve puzzles and rational, above all else. you can’t seem to define what the draw of urban legends are or why they are so enticing to you, but they are. you collect them, catalogue them in your brain. for every place you’ve ever visited, there’s some obscure urban legend you’ve researched and recited, much to the chagrin of your friends.

verb hotel // it’s tucked behind fenway, not even really that from where you live. the sushi bar on the first floor is one of your favorite haunts. it’s always packed and busy, brimming with the after-work crowd and tourists. it’s a good place to people watch and the sushi isn’t half bad, so when you feel like you need to get out of the apartment but that you want to be alone, you always find yourself ending up here, even if you didn’t mean to.

wonderland t stop // you take the blue line all the way out to wonderland. normally you wouldn’t be caught dead in revere but there’s a peacefullness on the beach that’s right down the street from the t stop. sometimes you just need to breath in that salt air, feel the sand beneath your toes. sometimes you need a break from the suffocation of the city.

xfinity center // it’s a hike to get to mansfield from boston but when you’re young and carefree you don’t mind. you’ve seen dozens of concerts at the ampitheatre, and were there in 2003 when pearl jam played the longest set they’ve ever done. there’s memories tucked away in the back of your mind of piling into cars with all your friends and olivia and making the trek down.

yellow // it’s the color of the mug that olivia gets you for the last birthday you two celebrate together. yellow, with black writing that reads ‘i am a ray of fucking sunshine’. you still have it, tucked way in the back of your kitchen cabinet, one of the few remaining reminders of your time together.

zombies // it’s childish, maybe, but you’ve always loved a good zombie move. it doesn’t matter what kind (although comedic are your favorite). every year on halloween you sit down and force your loved ones to watch shaun of the dead with you. it’s tradition, and not one you’re likely to break any time soon.

#gravityrp #this took....way longer than anticipated lmao #ch: ryan

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not-another-imagine-blog · 6 years

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More American than Apple Pie (William Nylander)

Anonymous said:

Hey hi hello could you do a William nylander imagine about thanksgiving with your family in Boston (I know Canada and the US have different thanksgivings) and he's nervous because he hasn't met them yet and because they're all huge bruins fans and clearly he's not a bruin lol thank you doll

Word count: 1678

Author’s note: I know that I haven’t been going in order of when I received my requests lately and I’m sorry, but sometimes inspiration strikes me for different stories at different times. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving wasn’t a holiday you had expected to share with William. For starters, American Thanksgiving is far more different from the day of thanks celebrated in Canada, and William’s from Sweden, where they don’t celebrate any sort of holiday that’s anywhere near the gluttonous fourth Thursday of November. The NHL also doesn’t take any breaks except for Christmas and All-Star. These were the reasons why you only bought one plane ticket home.

What you weren’t expecting was the Leafs to not have any games Thanksgiving day or the following day. You had thought that William would want to rest and enjoy his days off, but he instead begged to come home with you. You had resisted at first, but his argument was extremely passionate, and you just couldn’t say no to your boyfriend. This led to the present: You and William sitting in the rental car as you drive the familiar streets to your childhood home.

“Don’t be nervous.” You say for the third time in as many minutes.

“I’m not nervous.” William insists once again. “You know, at this point it seems like you’re trying to reassure yourself more than you are me.”

“I’m just letting you know that there’s nothing to worry about.” William gives you a knowing look as you smile at him. “Alright, maybe I am trying to reassure myself.”

“What are you so nervous about? I’ve met your parents before, and we got along just fine!”

“Thanksgiving isn’t just my parents, though, and I’m just trying to prepare you. My extended family’s a little…” You trail off, trying to find a word to describe your family that’s not too harsh. “Intense.” You finish.

“Intense?” William questions right as you turn on the road to your home. Yellow and black adorns every yard, with the occasional splash of blue and red. You nervously laugh when William whips around towards you, suddenly becoming very nervous. “The Bruins?” He accuses, addressing you almost as if you’ve committed a crime.

“What, I’ve never mentioned that my family’s die-hard Bruins fans?” William scoffs.

“No, I don’t believe you have.” William groans when he looks down at his shirt. “I’m wearing my Leafs hoodie! You let me wear my Leafs hoodie!”

“It has your name and jersey number on it, Willy, it’ll be fine.”

“Fine? I think I’m going to get mugged when I step out of the car.” William’s calm demeanor has melted away at this point as he grips the seat of the car, his knuckles going white.

“Willy, they’re not going to hate you for playing for the Leafs.”

“They know I play hockey?” You shrug.

“My family’s asked who I’m dating, and I’ve said ‘William Nylander.’ I guess I’ve just assumed that people who watch hockey as voraciously as they would know the name.” You pull the car to the car and park, suddenly grimacing at just how decorated the house is. “Are you ready? You know that we don’t have to do this, right? We can leave; I’ll say that you got sick on the way over or something like that.” William shakes his head, opening the car door slightly.

“No, we’ve come this far. I’m gonna meet your family and they’re gonna be blown away by how awesome I am.” You smile and pat William’s hand.

“That’s the spirit, Willy.” William opens the rear door and grabs the pie that you had picked up from the store last night after you landed while you join him at the other side of the car. You both look at each other, silently daring each other to make the first move.

“Are you ready?” William finally speaks after a moment.

“I’m ready if you are.” You grab William’s hand then, locking your fingers together and walking towards the door. You don’t bother knocking, you just open the door. At William’s inquisitive gaze, you smile. “My house was constantly full of the neighborhood kids. I don’t think I’ve ever even heard the doorbell.”

“(Y/N)? Is that you?” A voice shouts from inside the house. Grinning, you tug William over the threshold.

“Come on! They don’t bite.” You joke while William rolls his eyes. “Anybody home?” You yell back in response. At this, your mom comes out of the kitchen, a dish towel slung over her shoulder and her hair pulled back in a loose bun. She immediately envelops you in a hug before noticing William.

“William! (Y/N) didn’t tell me you were coming!” Your mom abandons you to hug William instead as you’re left holding the pie that your mom almost crushed in her haste.

“The schedule fell just right, no games for us today or tomorrow. It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. (Y/L/N).” Your mom blushes at William’s insistence on calling her a name so formal.

“I’ve told you before to call me (Y/M/N), William.” You roll your eyes quickly as your mom turns to you, not wanting to get caught doing something so childish. “Everyone’s already here, so be prepared-” Your mom can barely get out her warning before you hear a bunch of children screaming and the pounding of footsteps down the stairs. Around the corner comes various cousins and siblings; they all look the same, so when they’re all running together it’s difficult to tell the 15 or so apart.

“(Y/N)!” You’re tackled in a flurry of hugs as you stumble back, attempting to gather everyone in your arms. They tumble back in a mass of arms and legs, staring at William in awe. William shyly waves to them, uncharacteristically blushing.

“You’re William Nylander.” One of your male cousins says almost questioningly.

“He is, and if you guys stop staring at him like he’s a zoo exhibit maybe he’ll actually answer some questions.” You say firmly. As the oldest ‘kid’ in the family, you’ve always been the one to let them know when they’ve screwed up.

“What’s it like playing with Auston Matthews?” Your cousin Marie shyly speaks, using her teddy bear as a shield between her and the world. William can’t help but smile as he steps up to Marie, bending down to her level.

“Ah, so you’re an Auston fan, huh?” Marie nods exuberantly.

“Uh-huh! For my birthday, (Y/N) got me a Matthews jersey!” William glances up at you as you shrug.

“I tried to get her a Nylander one, but she wouldn’t budge.” You joke.

“Playing with Auston’s pretty great,” William starts, getting back to his starstruck audience. “But he’s even better off the ice.”

“Come on Marie, we don’t care about the Leafs!” Your cousin Henry groans as Marie sticks her tongue out at the young boy. “What’s it like being smashed against the boards by Chara?” You laugh loudly as William winces at the thought.

“It hurts. Some say that they see their lives flash before their eyes when they get checked by Chara. I’ve literally never been more scared before.” Everyone starts to pelt questions at William before they’re all interrupted by your uncle calling everyone into the kitchen for dinner. The kids all trample ahead, yelling about who gets to go first, while William stands and smiles at you, kissing you quickly.

“See? Nothing to be nervous about.” You say.

“Who the hell is this?” A deep voice booms as you go white.

“Oh no.” You mutter before turning and smiling. “Uncle Brandon! How are you?” You wrap him in a hug while simultaneously tightening your grip on William’s hand, who has suddenly tried to back up.

“Just great, (Y/N/N), but don’t change the subject. Who’s this?” You pull William right next to you, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

“This is my boyfriend, William....Nylander.” You mutter the last part, knowing that this might not go nearly as well.

“Maple Leafs William Nylander?” You uncle questions as you nod. For a long moment, your uncle glares at the both of you before grinning. “I guess I can make an exception to my hatred of the Leafs. (Y/N)’s never brought a guy home before.” He jokes as you groan.

“Just had to bring that up, didn’t you?” You joke, lightly shoving your uncle as he laughs and shakes William’s hand.

“Come on, kids, plenty of good food in the kitchen.”

Thankfully, dinner passes by uneventfully, with only one inflammatory statement made by your great-grandmother. Afterwards, you do what every New England family does; settle in to watch the Patriots. The living room’s packed, with you and William ending up on the floor. You sit in between William’s legs as William lays his head on top of yours. Not being from America, he doesn’t really understand football, but he tries, yelling and cheering when you guys all do the same.

“HOW THE HELL WAS THAT PASS INTERFERENCE?” The living room explodes with a variety of curses and yells. You huff and look up at William, who’s smiling down at you.

“Sorry. We get a little crazy when it comes to football.” You’re stating the obvious, but this is one of those perfect family moments that you don’t want to ruin.

“I don’t mind at all.”

“So how did you like your first American Thanksgiving?” You ask.

“That’s more food than I’ve ever seen in my life. I’ve never seen an 85 year old woman with dentures eat a turkey leg so fast before.” You both laugh at the thought of your great-grandma demolishing her meal. “But it was fantastic. Thank you for letting me tag along.” Marie chooses this moment to whine about how she wants to sit with William. You move besides him, allowing Marie to occupy your former spot as William makes a show of making sure she’s comfy.

“I think that you’ll be tagging along for the next few years, Willy. You’re kind of stuck with this family.”

“There’s no other family I’d rather be stuck with. Happy Thanksgiving, (Y/N).” William leans in to kiss you as you kiss back, ignoring Marie’s complaints about how gross it is.

“Happy Thanksgiving to yo-TOUCHDOWN!”

#william nylander #william nylander imagine #Toronto Maple Leafs #toronto maple leafs imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction

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junker-town · 7 years

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Let’s get happy or angry together about every new NHL jersey design

All of these are great. All of these are bad.

As you have no doubt heard, the NHL revealed new designs from adidas on Tuesday night in Las Vegas. And now it’s time to judge them all!

You can compare each to their original designs here. Overall, I personally liked most of them. But scanning the hockey web today proves not all are pleased. I’ve tried to channel my own positive reactions and the Internet’s anger into one post of quick hot-takes.

The Fantastic

Colorado Avalanche

Why you should love it: I heard the people clamoring for a return to the old Avs uniforms. I didn’t really buy into it. Plus, I’m a huge fan of their alternate jerseys and wouldn’t mind seeing those as the new primaries.

Until last night. I forgot how well that light blue works with the burgundy. It’s beautiful, and vaults Colorado back into the top rung of hockey jerseys.

Why you should hate it: N/A

The Good

Carolina Hurricanes

Why you should love it: Carolina sacrificed some personality when they underwent redesigns recently. I didn’t know I missed the black or the warning flag striping so much until I saw these. These new threads aren’t nearly as busy as the originals they harken back to, making this a significant upgrade.

Why you should hate it: it’s different than it was before even though i hated those jerseys

Vegas Golden Knights

Why you should love it: I think Vegas did very well here. Steel-grey is an under-rated jersey color that really lets the gold and red and logo pop. Plus, look at the details:

None of our players have numbers yet. But when they do, this will be what their numbers look like. #VGKFirstJersey http://pic.twitter.com/mU1l5jBSlr

— Vegas Golden Knights (@GoldenKnights) June 21, 2017

Why you should hate it: hockey in Las Vegas will never work, man

Buffalo Sabres

Why you should love it: No piping. No piping. NO PIPING.

Why you should hate it: it’s not different enough

The Fine

New Jersey Devils

Why you should love it: I was down on these until I read the details:

Devils.NHL.com

When it comes to NHL jerseys, nods to franchise, city or regional history and culture get me every time. I’m not entirely sold yet, but the justifications here are enough to win me over for now.

Why you should hate it: it’s different

Minnesota Wild

Why you should love it: Didn’t like these at first. Why are teams suddenly copping the Montreal chest stripe?

The thing that saves it, for me, is the red trim on the arms. this is good. Not great. But good.

Why you should hate it: bring back the North Stars

Calgary Flames

Why you should love it: I was really hoping they’d do the right thing and switch to these full-time. Beggars can’t be choosers, though, and no piping at least makes these look a lot neater.

Why you should hate it: liberals, right guys

The Meh

Nashville Predators

Why you should love it: Two reasons. Slight reasons. They’re less busy:

Quick comparison of old vs new #Preds home jersey. http://pic.twitter.com/CUcuhYrJMu

— Icethetics (@icethetics) June 20, 2017

And they retain the nods to Tennessee I love so much: the guitar numbers, the guitar pick logo and the piano keys on the collar.

But overall it seems a little bland.

Why you should hate it: conservatives, right guys

Ottawa Senators

Why you should love it: If they weren’t going to completely overhaul one of the meh-est jerseys in the league, the least they could do was clean it up a little. Make it a little slimmer. They did that. Yay.

Why you should hate it: it’s actually about ethics in video game journalism

The Basically The Same

Winnipeg Jets

Why you should love it: Maybe it’s just that image, but does the blue on the elbows seem a little brighter to you? If so, a good minor tweak.

Why you should hate it: nobody wants to play in Winnipeg lolol

Why you should love it: If you already like their jerseys from before, I guess?

Why you should hate it: NAFTA, imo

Toronto Maple Leafs

Why you should love it: See above.

Why you should hate it: phil kessel is lazy and eats hot dogs

Tampa Bay Lightning

Why you should love it: If you hate laces, congratulations! Those are gone.

Why you should hate it: the everglades are dying

St. Louis Blues

Why you should love it: St. Louis already sported one of the best jerseys in the league. Hard to mess this up, and they didn’t.

Why you should hate it: these jerseys are unworthy of The Best Fans In Baseball™

San Jose Sharks

Why you should love it: Teal is a good color and light orange makes an even better compliment. These are the same jerseys.

Why you should hate it: ACTUALLY, more people die from failed Stanley Cup runs than shark attacks each year

Pittsburgh Penguins

Why you should love it: Like the Blues, hard to mess this up.

Why you should hate it: go flyers

Philadelphia Flyers

Why you should love it: Can’t tell the difference at a glance which is a good thing for these threads.

Why you should hate it: go penguins

New York Rangers

Why you should love it: A beautiful shade of blue. And way more blue than they’ll actually look on the ice, for some reason. A conspiracy.

Why you should hate it: Henrik Lundqvist is too beautiful

New York Islanders

Why you should love it: there is

Why you should hate it: nothing to see here

Montreal Canadiens

Why you should love it: Simple. Classic. Gorgeous.

Why you should hate it: Si Jonathan Drouin n'est pas la deuxième venue de Guy LaFleur, nous le renvoyons à Tampa Bay en bas de la côte dans un conteneur d'expédition fabriqué à partir de poutine.

Los Angeles Kings

Why you should love it: Unlike most, I like the Kings’ logo. But I like their grey Stadium Series alternates better.

Why you should hate it: The Kings play boring hockey and therefore I hate them.

Florida Panthers

Why you should love it: The same as last year’s redesign, unsurprisingly.

Why you should hate it: more of a dog person

Detroit Red Wings

Why you should love it: Why change what ain’t broke?

Why you should hate it: hey did you see that the Lightning stole our jer—

Arizona Coyotes

Why you should love it: Low-key one of the best jerseys in the NHL. Fight me.

Why you should hate it: Hockey will never work in Arizona.

Sincerely,

Desperate, lonely Quebec City citizen

Boston Bruins

Why you should love it: Ben Affleck is a good Batman, IMO.

Why you should hate it: Mark Wahlberg

Chicago Blackhawks

Why you should love it: Lovable underdogs. Great sweater. Great city. (2007)

Why you should hate it: Chicago wins too much, I hate them (2017)

Columbus Blue Jackets

Why you should love it: I’ve been told there was a change here. I don’t see it. That’s okay, though, because I like these.

Why you should hate it: have you noticed i complain about a lot of things

Dallas Stars

Why you should love it: I said last night these jerseys were overrated. I forgot how much that green pops. Glad they didn’t change anything.

Why you should hate it: it’s because i am a hockey fan

The Ugly

Edmonton Oilers

Why you should love it: Orange jerseys are, in general, bad. We are not deer hunting. We are hockeying. At least these pictures indicate the orange next year won’t be as bright or harmful to the eyes as the Oilers of recent memory.

Why you should hate it: I am 80 percent passionate about the game and 20 percent passionate about complaining about almost anything about the game. Bickering with fans of my own team is almost as normal as bickering with opposing fans. I will bicker with anyone. All of these jerseys suck, are stupid and should go away. The NHL isn’t what it once was back in the day or even last year. I have automatically renewed my season-ticket package again. It cost too much.

Anaheim Ducks

Why you should love it: Obviously still an upgrade over their previous jerseys, but that logo ... ugh.

Why you should hate it: I, hockey fan, love hockey but you can’t tell because I seem to hate on so much of it and the people around it all the time. Why won’t you love hockey with me? Is it because of the overwhelming and instinctive negativity you feel from all of us?

Washington Capitals

Why you should love it: I put these in the “ugly” category as a placeholder. The Reebok versions always looked a little busy and cluttered. Until we see these on the ice, it’s hard to judge for sure.

Why you should hate it: Well ... maybe I could try to be more positive. Maybe then you’ll like hockey, too.

Didn’t I have a nice time?

0 notes

junker-town · 7 years

Text

NHL expansion draft 2017: Best & worst-case scenarios for each team

Protection lists are out, and so is hope. And dread.

Speculation is over: the NHL’s 30 original teams revealed who they’ve protected from the Vegas Golden Knights ahead of Wednesday’s expansion draft.

We’ve graded them. We’ve done a mock draft.

And now it’s time to speculate: what are NHL teams hoping for and against the most as Vegas sifts through their un-protected players? Every team will lose someone. The level of catastrophe and pain will vary, though. Some teams can come out of this better than before expansion!

So let’s run through nightmares and sweet dreams for all 30 teams ahead of expansion: the one player they’d love to keep and the one player they’ll regret leaving unprotected.

Anaheim Ducks

Best case: The Knights either take Sami Vatanen or work a trade with Anaheim to take somone not named Vatanen or Josh Manson off their roster. The Ducks get to trade Vatanen themselves or keep both.

Worst case: Yeah, that won’t happen ... Nothing else on Anaheim’s unprotected list is intriguing enough for Vegas to skip over both Manson and Vatanen. The Ducks are high on Manson, though, so they’d be kicking things if Vegas takes him.

Arizona Coyotes

Best case: Jamie McGinn gets taken. Not only did he disappoint this year with 17 points in 72 games, but his $3.33 million cap hit would be great off of Arizona’s books.

Worst case: Pretty sure the Coyotes would prefer to keep goalie Louis Domingue around in case Adin Hill isn’t ready for a NHL backup gig yet. The good news is there are better goalies Vegas can take.

Boston Bruins

Best case: That whispering you hear is all of Massachusetts muttering “pleasetakeMattBeleskeypleasetakeMattBeleskeypleasetakeMattBeleskeypleasetakeMattBeleskey” under their breaths.

Worst case: Malcolm Subban. Sure, he didn’t play well in spot starts this season. But he put up good numbers in the AHL this year and is just 23 years old. He has room to grow into his high ceiling. That’s why I have Vegas taking him in our mock draft as their third goalie.

Buffalo Sabres

Best case: Buffalo would love if Vegas took the cap hits of Zach Bogosian ($5.143 million) or Matt Moulson ($5 million). Jack Eichel and Sam Reinhart will need to get paid soon, and clearing that space would help.

Worst case: William Carrier. Sabres fans are already nervous about him not being protected over Tyler Ennis, and with good reason. The 22-year-old power forward has good potential, and Buffalo might need to send draft picks to Vegas to beg them to take Moulson or Bogosian instead.

Calgary Flames

Best case: One of the worst signings of last summer was $4.5 million per year for Troy Brouwer through 2020. There’s a reason he wasn’t protected.

Worst case: The Knights draft Not Troy Brouwer.

Carolina Hurricanes

Best case: Carolina would love to get out from under Cam Ward’s contract a year early, as unlikely as it is.

Worst case: Vegas takes Joakim Nordstrom, a solid third-line player who can kill penalties. Even so, Carolina won’t be hurt too bad by anyone lost here.

Chicago Blackhawks

Best case: Marcus Kruger. That $3.083 million cap hit might seem like chump change to most teams, but it’s worth salivating over for the cap-crunched Blackhawks.

Worst case: Vegas takes Trevor van Riemsdyk, leaving Chicago with Kruger’s contract and costing them one of their few decent depth defensmen. Cold. If I’m Vegas, I hold this scenario hostage until Chicago gives me all of the draft picks.

Colorado Avalanches

Best case: Anyone, this team sucks.

Worst case: Vegas finds a loophole and doesn’t pick anyone, leaving Colorado intact and mourning.

Columbus Blue Jackets

Best case: Vegas rejects their dumb trade proposal and takes Jack Johnson anyway, because he is not great and Columbus shouldn’t be trying so hard to keep him.

Worst case: Vegas accepts their dumb trade proposal; the Golden Knights take William Karlsson instead and the dumb Blue Jackets keep Jack Johnson but lose their first round pick. Which is exactly what they’re trying to do. Because they’re dumb.

Dallas Stars

Best case: The Knights take Kari Lehtonen or Antti Niemi. Like that will happen.

No, they take Cody Eakin, which works out for everyone. Vegas gets a reasonably-priced, quality second-line center. Dallas gets rid of an expensively unnecessary piece.

Worst case: Vegas skips over Eakin and both defensemen Stephen Johns and Jamie Oleksiak. Instead, they take Dan Hamhuis. Dallas is down one of their few good defenders and still have two question marks in Johns and Oleksiak.

Detroit Red Wings

Best case: Detroit has to be about done with Nicklas Kronwall, right?

Worst case: Not sure. It depends on what you think GM Ken Holland is trying to accomplish by exposing Petr Mrazek.

Edmonton Oilers

Best case: Benoit Pouliot and his $4 million cap hit has outlived his usefulness, and Edmonton would love to see him in Vegas next season.

Worst case: I don’t know. They just re-signed Jujhar Khaira, though. He has a very nice beard.

Florida Panthers

Best case: Florida works a trade to ensure the Golden Knights don’t draft Jonathan Marchessault, Jason Demers or Reilly Smith. Or Jussi Jokinen.

Worst case: Two possibilities.

They do that, but it costs them ten first round picks, their first-born panther child and the script to the new Star Wars movie.

They lose Marchessault, their best pure scorer.

Los Angeles Kings

Best case: I would love to see them get out of Dustin Brown’s ridiculous contract. Let’s stop and gawk at it again as it walks by:

$5.875mthrough2022$5.875mthrough2022$5.875mthrough2022$5.875mthrough2022 ...

Worst case: Tough to say. With a roster upheaval on the way and good protection picks made, maybe Brayden McNabb?

Minnesota Wild

Best case: Good on them to protect Jonas Brodin. To complete the best case, though, they’d have to hope the Golden Knights lose their minds and don’t take Marco Scandella or Matt Dumba.

Worst case: Minny can’t come to a deal with Vegas, who takes Marco Scandella or Matt Dumba.

Montreal Canadiens

Best case: Tomas Plekanec or Alexei Emelin, for sure. Both have undesirable contracts Montreal would like to be rid of, though I doubt the Knights take them unless they really need to reach the cap floor or something.

Worst case: It wouldn’t be ideal if Montreal loses Brendan Davidson. Actually, the worst case is if they protected Andrew Shaw. OH WAIT.

Nashville Predators

Best case: You’d think the Predators would rather work out a trade than let James Neal walk free to Vegas, so that’s the goal.

Worst case: Losing Neal or Pontus Aberg.

New Jersey Devils

Best case: Anything. Nothing bad can come of this.

Worst case: Nothing. Anything good can come of this.

New York Islanders

Best case: there is no best case, did you see who they protected

Worst case: I don’t know, maybe leaving Ryan Strome, Josh Bailey, Calvin de Haan and Brock Nelson unprotected so you could keep Adam Pelech around? Maybe you could’ve protected one of them if you hadn’t also signed bottom-six guy Andrew Ladd to one of the biggest contracts in the league.*

*WHY AM I SO MAD ABOUT THIS, I AM IMPARTIAL AND SHOULDN’T CARE

New York Rangers

Best case: Out of the many forwards exposed, watching the Knights take Jesper Fast or Matt Puempel would be ideal.

Worst case: I think the Rangers like Antti Raanta as a backup, so they’ll have fingers crossed Vegas takes one of the thousands of other goalies.

Ottawa Senators

Best case: Bobby Ryan? He just came off a decent season, sure, but he also has a massive $7.25 million cap hit through 2022.

Worst case: Bobby Ryan? He has a massive $7.25 million cap hit through 2022, sure, but he just came off a decent season.

Best case Pt. 2: They wake up and that whole Dion Phaneuf thing was just a dream.

Philadelphia Flyers

Best case:

Told some geese the terms of the MacDonald extension today https://t.co/MXbvv9sYZP

— Scott T. (@NHLFlyera) December 21, 2014

Worst case: Get the feeling Philadelphia would rather keep Michal Neuvirth than either give the starting job to Anthony Stolarz or hunt free agency for a new starter.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Best case: Marc-Andre Fleury. It’s time to move on.

Worst case: “Wait, you’re telling me they took Bryan Rust instead of Marc-Andre-f****** Fleury? Now what do we do?”

San Jose Sharks

Best case: Mikkel Boedker, Joel Ward and David Schlemko are all pipe dreams. But dreaming is good. We should all dream.

Worst case: But then we must all wake up at some point and live in a Brenden Dillon-less world.

St. Louis Bl—

Hold up. I want to clarify that I don’t expect Brenden Dillon to die during this draft. Unless you consider going from a contender to an expansion team in the middle of the Mojave Desert a form of death.

In that case, yes. RIP.

St. Louis Blues

Best case: Hey, you know what would drive every other Central team crazy? If the Knights drafted Nail Yakupov, a washed-up former first overall pick the Blues are moving on from anyway.

Worst case: The even unlikelier scenario, where St. Louis keeps a one-trick bruiser like Ryan Reaves and loses David Perron instead.

Wait a sec—

Went through all of the lists. Only 13 protected forwards around the league had 13 or fewer points in the NHL last year. Reaves included.

— Game Time Media (@StLouisGameTime) June 18, 2017

Oh n—

Of those 13, Valeri Nichushkin (DAL) played in the KHL and Scott Laughton (PHI) only played two NHL games.

— Game Time Media (@StLouisGameTime) June 18, 2017

Please, make it st—

Only three protected forwards put up a worse PPG number than Ryan Reaves - Curtis Lazar, Tomas Jurco, and Matt Martin.

— Game Time Media (@StLouisGameTime) June 18, 2017

Tampa Bay Lightning

Best case: Tampa keeps Slater Koekkoek, who has a great name and is a dude our Lightning blog (and myself) is higher on than Jake Dotchin.

Worst case: The Golden Knights go Koekkoek for I’m sorry I even attempted this joke.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Best case: Getting out of Joffrey Lupul’s contract should top their wishlist.

Worst case: Losing Brendan Leipsic, however, should end it.

Vancouver Canucks

Best case: Keeping Luca Sbisa would be nice. Other than that, nobody on this list would qualify as a big loss. Sbisa barely does.

Worst case: Losing Derek Dorsett’s grit, maybe?

Washington Capitalss

Best case: They did pretty well here, but somehow losing Brooks Orpik’s cap hit and keeping Nate Schmidt would qualify as a huge win.

Worst case: Losing Schmidt, honestly. He blossomed in the playoffs, which is why McPhee will certainly take him.

Winnipeg Jets

Best case: Hard to see how Mark Stuart even lasts with Winnipeg past next spring’s trade deadline, really. Might as well lose him now.

Worst case: Marko Dano is just 22, even though it feels like he’s been around forever. Wouldn’t the Jets like to see if he breaks out this year on their roster?

0 notes