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lu-lus-duckies · 2 months

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Idk what to call this so you make up the title

@huskers-bar x @nunalastor

Tags: enemies to lovers, angst?, eventual fluff, yearning?, soft huskers-bar, both mods are separate people, no beta we die like i do in this fic (not yet though), minor character death, ooc, au: hellaverse (hazbin hotel), nunalastor is head of the marketing department of the hazbin hotel (lucifer grabbed them randomly), jealousy?, huskers-bar is an employee at voxtek, lulu and angie as villains, lulu is a dog

chapter: 1/? Word count: 1,431

Featuring: babygirl anon and (eventually) @xxx-angie . I may add more along the way depending on who wants to be added. I can probably shoe-horn-in a few more characters

For the sake of not tagging people a million times, I will call nunalastor as a single entity nunalastor, traumatized mod dickmaster and cursed mod nun. and huskers-bar just husk. babygirl anon will be babygirl anon. i will be shortened to lulu but I don't appear in this fic yet. Angie doesn't appear yet, but he will be angie.

A/N: anyway this is 100% going to be a huskers-bar harem fic because i can write whatever i want. This first chapter kinda boring but it gets better (source: trust me bro). Lemme know if you'd like to see any changes. Anyway, goodbye for now. I have uni to get to so less frequent posting (sorry dickmaster, you'll have to live without any of my horrid art for a little while)

"Did you know that Alastor made a happy deer squeak during this scene?"

Ah, yes, the words that twist people's dreams into nightmares. Innocent innitially, and maybe even amusing for a good while, but the longer one lingered, the more their skin would crawl with irritation and burn their insides. Especially when one knew the context surrounding this particular phrase. And boy, did Nunalastor know the context.

"Another day, another inbox to slay, another heavenly lord to betray" Dickmaster accessed their and Nun's shared blog, unsurprisingly to hundreds if not thousands of asks invading their inbox, all of which were echoes of different variations of *thumps* and *squeaks*. If Nunalastor hadn't already grown accustomed to such deviancy, they would be horrified. Still, the depraved ideas these people came up with never failed to send shivers down their spine, and not the pleasant kind.

And why do they subject themselves to this? you may ask. It was simple. In exchange for free housing, food and supplies, Lucifer Morningstar, the devil himself and father of Charlie Morningstar had requested their help. You see, originally their blog was not this unfortunate cesspool of deranged demons who wanted to see the devil, overlords and sinners squirm under immense sexual pleasure. It used to be a simple marketing tool for the Hazbin hotel, but as all things in hell, it never goes smoothly. It wasn't like they had a choice in the matter anyway, refusing the king of hell's requests was not an option! His commands were absolute.

Dickmaster took one deep breath, running both hands through their hair and clearing their mind, preparing for probably several hours of torture that was going to be their asks. They poured themselves a drink, setting down in front of their screen. Taking a few moments to relish the silence, they closed their eyes and listened to the soft hum of their beaten up 1950's style computer, courtesy of Alastor's ban on Voxtek products at the hotel. Clicking on their inbox tab, they mentally braced themselves. even if they knew, they could never truly predict the horrors hell had to offer.

"time for #housekeeping" They declared, stretching their fingers, getting their reaction images on the ready and sifting through their own version of digital hell. It would only get worse from here.

As Nunalastor started to clean their digital home, erasing one cursed ask after another, responding to one alastor circus theory after another, One ask in particular caught their attention. It was definitely a surprise, and a welcome one at that. It stood out like a sore thumb, simple yet elegant, divine and a blessing among heaps of cursed messages that would have asmodeus and satan themselves shaking in fear.

"hi dickmaster" - anon

Nunalastor couldn't explain it. They don't know what came over them, but they felt a strange sense of attraction to this one particular anon. They were sweet, they gave them a place of solace from the dread that was piss kink headcanons and cursed deer facts, equivelent of the clogged up plumming disasters alastor had to fix with his bare hands at the Hazbin hotel. It was the piece of gold nugget hidden in a swamp full of moss and dog urine.

Dickmaster stared at the message for a good few seconds, really taking in the plainness and beauty of the two words before their eyes, appriciating all that message was as a small smile made its way up their face. This called for a special occasion. Dickmaster gripped their keyboard, nearly smashing it with the force. Their fingers danced along the keys and crafted a response like no other, one worthy of this random anon that managed to make their day a bit brighter.

"Hi babygirl" - Nunalastor

On the other side of the pentagram, a kind, sweet and not at all deranged huskers was scrolling through hells version of tumblr. Voxtek devices had proven to be quite useful in the underworld. It served as the main source of entertainment and escape for the lonely, not only for husk, but other sinners alike. Besides, being an employee meant he had extra privileges with Voxtek. Regardless, it introduced husk to the nunalastor blog, which was the best moment of their life (or lack thereof, considering they're dead).

They'd quickly grown accustomed to the undeserved hate thrown their way upon their first ever interractioin. Though they didn't understand, they could play along. They found strange comfort in the twisted logic that any form of attention was better than none. After all, being singled out meant they were special in the eyes of Nunalastor, right? that's how husk comforted themselves anyway. And they haven't seen Nunalastor actually reply to anyone with actual love before.

That is... until it happened. Someone who would later reveal themselves as babygirl anon, husks worst adversary and the unfortunate victim of lulu's slander showed up on their feed.

"hi dickmaster" - anon

"Hi babygirl" - Nunalastor

Husk stared at the screen in shock, their eyes widening and heart growing heavy. Countless questions and conflicting emotions swirled within them, each clutching their hold for attention. 'Is nunalastor serious? Do I not want them to be serious? Why can't I be treated the same? What did I do?' And amidst the chaos, one thought rose to the surface, crystal clear in Husk's mind.

'I want to be loved like that'

The frustration of being at the end of every one of Nunalastors verbal spears finally caught up to husk. Every small jab they'd written off as jokes suddenly felt like small pin needles scraping their skin. Unable to deal with the whirlwind of emotions and the confusion of it all, Husk sought solace in the one place they could always trust, the bottom of a bottle.

So they took a swig. And another. And another. Intil there wasn't a shred of emotion left to feel. Not a single thread of frustration left in them, not a nerve of anguish, not a line of confusing verbal spewage...

And not even a speck of self-restraint

"THEY JUST KEEP COMING" Dickmaster exclaimed, more like yelled as their inbox was flooded with more cursed asks at a rate faster than they could answer. At this pace, they'll be there all day, answering these asks like a poor overworked minimum wage employee at a call center.

"They'll run out of ideas eventually" Nun responded, nonchalantly, leaning against a nearby wall, sipping on a drink of their own. Nun watched as dickmaster struggled to find another reaction image fast enough so they could call it quits and leave the rest of the struggles for future Nunalastor to handle, or more accurately when it would be nun's turn to answer all the unhinged people in their inbox.

The hurried clicking of the keys on a keyboard could be heard throughout the entire room, bouncing off the walls, reflecting exactly how much infestation was actually happening in nunalastors inbox by the minute. "it would be great if you could answer a few you know, my fingers are dyin-"

And then it suddenly went quiet. The clicking died down and the unbelievably loud buzzing of their computer, along with the hitched breathing of Dickmaster was the only sound bouncing around the room. Nun of course raised a brow at this. "what's the holdup? we can't afford to take a break you know" they said, as if they were the one answering all of the asks in the first place.

nun walked over, curious as to what exactly had stopped dickmaster in his endless pursuit of emptying their inbox, considering they were always the more enthusiastic one of the two. "are you okay?" nun asked, half sarcastically. Their eyes landed over the current ask in their inbox.

"I wish you'd love me" huskers-bar

and suddenly the silence made sense. the pause had been a justified one.

dickmaster inhaled, followed by a deep and saddened exhale. they didn't want to take their eyes off of those five words. they could stare in awe and amazement at them for hours. it wasn't even the fact that it was just another ask that wasn't cursed, but because it was huskers-bar that sent-

a hand on dickmasters shoulder snaps them out of their daze, being brought back to reality, the pitiful reality. they were in hell for a reason, they reminded themselves.

"you remember our deal, don't you, dickmaster?" nuns voice cut through the buzzing, sounding deep, gruff, threatening and slightly saddened.

"yes of course" dickmaster turned back to the monitor, giving one last look at the ask before typing out what nunalastor has agreed would be the appropriate response.

"you'll get over it. #we are a huskers-bar hate blog"

#i'm kind of sorry but i cant take writing seriously when i called one of yous dickmaster askfdjaslkdfjoasidjgf #huskers-bar x nunalastor #i hope at least. idk i dont read this shit back to myself. my self esteem is low enough already #lulu is delulu #nunwhiskers

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xxx-angiedust · 2 months

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Questions questions.

In the huskers-bar x nunalastor fic, you're definitely a villain and my partner in crime but i have a few questions. Would you rather be a redeemable villain or a straight up asshole?

Also, should you be a seperate character, or should I put you in as angel dust, the real angel dust?

i'd def be a redeemable type

and as angel dust :3

#×angies thoughts×#lu-lus-duckies #mylz-flick

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lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

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@huskers-bar x @nunalastor chapter 3

chapter: 3/? / chapter Word count: 1,659 / total word count: 4942

nunalastor as a single entity is nunalastor, traumatized mod dickmaster and cursed mod nun. and huskers-bar just husk/huskers. babygirl anon will be babygirl anon. I will be lulu. Angie will be angie but is meant to be read as angel dust.

A/N: peepee poopoo nunalastor lore drop uwu. thinking of removing the enemies to lovers tag on this because the plot has changed so much from what I originally planned. lulu is losing the funny so less funny stuff this chapter

As Huskers stood there, frozen in the doorway, their eyes widened with a mix of surprise and mild anxiety. They couldn't believe their luck-or was it misfortune?-to stumble upon them at a place like this. All the while Dickmaster kept staring at them with that unwavering gaze. One that could only belong to a cat that had too much catnip

"And who are you?" Dickmaster hissed, finger pointed directly at the huskers, their eyes narrowing and emitting an intense glare. "some kind of stalker?"

Huskers cleared their throat, trying to break the awkward tension they had accidentally created. If only this was a normal meeting. "Um, hey there! Fancy meeting you both here... I am not a stalker, actually. I work at voxtek and Angie, who I had to work with, informed me of the hotel and I liked the idea... didn't think I'd see you here" They choked on their words, offering a nervous smile while fidgeting with their fingers and displaying a toothy grin that seemed too wide to be genuine. They grabbed the hem of their shirt and started tugging excessively. Their hands felt way too sweaty.

"You're avoiding my question, who are you?" Dickmaster retorted, taking a step back and finding support on the nearest surface, which happened to be the bathroom door. Their eyes narrowed, radiating skepticism and cautiosness.

This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for huskers. Nunalastor genuinely didn't seem to know who they were, which why would they? It's funny to even think that. This meant Huskers had a golden ticket, a second chance. Maybe they'll get to know them and change their mind on hating them? It was in the realm of possibility. At least they hope so.

"oh just one of the anons" Huskers lied through their teeth, waving a hand awkwardly and dismissively. The nervous chuckle was the last cherry on the top for their fabrication. "Love your blog by the way" Huskers offered the compliment, attempting to salvage what was left of the already a horrifying first impression.

Dickmaster though, seemed to loosen up a bit after that answer, though still kept their guard up. One could never know about these things and it wouldn't be the first time their instincts were right.

"ah, there's too fuckin many of you... have some mercy on my lil ol askbox sometimes" They added, slipping back into their online persona. Brushing off imaginary dust from their attire and examining their hand closely, it became apparent that this was probably a nervous habit of some sort.

The atmosphere grew increasingly awkward, leaving Huskers unsure of how to continue the conversation. However, they couldn't just... give up. Their desire to get to know Nunalastor better was the reason behind hiding their identity after all.

"uhm yeah... what, are you even doing here?" Huskers asked, after an uncomfortably long minute of just staring at the wall directly behind Dickmaster. The lump in their throat was starting to annoy them and he was starting to sweat.

"None of your buisness, Stalker" Dickmaster retorted, instantly stiffening up in response to the questioning. Was this turning into an interrogation? how dare someone ask something about them! They are a private person damn it! What'll they ask for next? Their favorite color?! Disgusting

Huskers recoiled, taken aback by the response which felt way more aggressive than it needed to be. The fact that they had just been called a stalker didn't even register in their mind.

"oh sorry, uhm... I should just leave then huh?" huskers asked, gesturing back to where they had come from, their nervous smile faltering to a saddened but genuine expression.

The flushing of the toilet was a lot louder than it needed to be and so was the sound of the door slamming open. Finally, Nun had decided to leave the bathroom, with an emotionless stare towards Huskers. "you should" They said.

Dickmasters eyes sparkled with joy as they reached for the bathroom door. Finally, inner peace-except their mood was immediately spoiled as soon as Nun picked them up bridal style.

'We'll be leaving now" Nun said, not even sparing a glance in Huskers' direction. They turned and started heading towards the direction of their shared hotel room without a second glance.

"Right, see you later" Huskers waved a little dejected, definitely startled but what could he do? ... Besides, they'd probably get more opportunities to interact with them if they decided to stay at the hotel. Though it's back to square zero as it seems, or square negative one.

Dickmaster unapologetically sexily started squirming and thrashing in Nuns grip "what?! wait-Nun-HOLD ON I STILL NEED TO USE THE-"

"Pee on me instead" Nun didn't even hesitate

"i need to shit-"

"sorry, shit on me instead" Nun corrected themself before dissapearing behind their room.

Huskers stood there confused and kind of amused. "What the fuck?" They said, pulling out their phone. They just need to know. They had to kno. They opened nunalastors inbox, hit the anonymous switch and wrote out their question. Within moments, a ding went off on their phone

what are the mods relationship with eachother? - anon

lulu we know this is you - nunalastor

"What the fuck was that, Nun?" Dickmaster angrily shouted as soon as the hotel room door was locked behind them. Managing to wriggle free from Nun's grasp, Dickmaster regained their footing, assuming a stance that demanded attention and respect, one that was clearly not showing.

Nun immediately switched their usually nonchalant or sassy tone to a more serious one. Their eyes were understanding but nevertheless a little angry. Who wouldn't be in their shoes? The annoyance of the demand was very much palpable. "You know you can't be seen out in public like this!"

This response only served to further enrage Dickmaster. They deserved their personal space! They weren't a child! This overprotective behavior was getting out of hand and becoming too unbearable.

"But Nun," Dickmaster began to explain, their voice a mix of frustration and determination, "they were here seeking redemption, I'm sure it's—"

"they could be another one of those stalkers! not like it hasn't happened before!" Nun interrupted, their voice filled with a mixture of frustration and caution. They knew all too well that encounters with obnoxious fans were not pleasant ones, especially considering they were in hell. It didn't even stop when they were out for snacks once in a blue moon. They never wanted a repeat of that incident with that crazy one, Lulu or whatever the fuck his name was, something stupid like that.

Dickmaster though was not budging. Despite the awkward tension of the encounter with huskers, they didn't think the anon was any danger to them. Either of them. Their gut feelings were always trustworthy "They didn't seem like it, they said they worked at voxtek and that Angie invited them, they wouldn't be here if not for Angie"

"That doesn't prove anything," Nun countered, equally stubborn, refusing to give an inch and provide Dickmaster with even a sliver of space. They were aware of how annoying and frustrating their protective stance might be, but their conscience simply wouldn't allow them to come to any form of harm.

This disagreement triggered a hissing fit from Dickmaster, who refused to accept Nun's ridiculous behavior. It had been a month since the last extermination and since Nun had started acting overly protective. Dickmaster paced back and forth in the room, desperately trying to channel their frustration into anything other than punching the nearest wall. "IT SHOULD! I can't be monitored like a hawk! this is ridiculous!"

Nun grumbled, fully aware that this confrontation was inevitable. It was time to employ their ultimate weapon. They put on their most sexiest face, placing a hand on Dickmaster's shoulder and attempting to physically ease the tension. "Sorry, babygirl. Let me apologize with my tongue."

"no" oh no. It's worse than Nun thought.

Nun took a deep breath and let it out, now it was time to get serious, as much as they despised doing so. They locked eyes with Dickmaster, offering the most sincere expression they could muster. Their voice adopted a soft, low, and soothing tone, oozing with genuine concern. "listen, dickmaster, you know I'm just looking out for you right?"

"Maybe" Dickmaster avoided looking at Nuns eyes, they were angry and Nuns eyes were the last thing they wanted to see. Instead, their eyes found comfort in the apartment floorings unusual patterns, refusing to look up.

Nun didn't like that, but didn't try to force it. "And that I want what's best for you?"

Dickmaster scrunched up their nose, not even hesitating with their response. "Debatable, considering you—"

"Please!" Nun interjected, their grip on Dickmaster's shoulder tightening as they cut off their sentence. They didn't need a reminder of what they did. "please, let me get your soul back for you first, let me make it up to you and then I can leave you alone, promise"

Dickmaster was in a whirlwind of thoughts, most of them screaming to slam them against the nearest wall and feed them worms but that was besides the point

"not like you're giving me a choice" Dickmaster very reluctantly gave in, clearly not happy about it, not one bit. They crossed their arms and put some physical distance between them. "fine."

Nun decided not to push further. A heavy sigh sounded throughout the room. "Thank you." Nun finished, finally happy they got through. They opened up their ask box and started answering more headcanons as a distraction.

Back at the hotel, a sinner, looking a little too much like an imp sits at the stairs of the entrance of the hotel, humming a tune to himself. A pair of footsteps could be heard behind him, along with that of a cane, commonly mistaken for a dildo.

"Ah. Lulu my dear, what brings you here this lovely evening?"

#I DID IT #I WROTE THIS IN UNDER 4 HOURS #I am going insane in the best ways rn #eat up because this is as much as a serious fic ya'll getting from me #tune in next time for lulu being a piece of shit #nunwhiskers #lulu is delulu #lulu is feral #huskers-bar x nunalastor

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lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

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@huskers-bar x @nunalastor chapter 2

chapter: 2/? / chapter Word count: 1852 / total word count: 3283

Featuring: babygirl anon and @xxx-angie . eventually will feature solis, the oc of @soliac-snecc

nunalastor as a single entity is nunalastor, traumatized mod dickmaster and cursed mod nun. and huskers-bar just husk. babygirl anon will be babygirl anon. I will be lulu. Angie will be angie but is meant to be read as angel dust.

A/N: I am a little drunk while writing the start of this, forgive me for any weird mistakes and stuff. bit of a change to the script, angie will no longer be a villain, but an obstacle and yes. I am currently the only true villain. the font size joke was very much forced in

this chapter is huskers-bar focused

"Ugh... Fuck"

The growly and gruff voice of Huskers echoed throughout the empty room. They winced as they rolled over in bed, accidentally knocking over a pile of empty bottles. The sound of their clinking was giving them a headache. One shattered at the side of the makeshift bed of their small private room-

Which you can only get at voxtek, come and become a part of the family! Voxtek, trust us with your employment and living quarters-

Ugh, they must be hallucinating... They squinted their eyes, trying to make sense of their surroundings. The migrane wasn't helping. Huskers stared at the ceiling, a little more dazed than usual. They tried to recall what happened, but the past few hours were completely wiped from their memory. It must've been one of those days. They look over at the clock.

It'a about time they get to work...

With one groan they get up, dragging their hands on the floor as they reach for their keys and phone. The room still spun a little, but it's not like they had a choice. They headed towards the door, less than ready, and finally left their sanctuary.

"Where the fuck is my cameraman?!" The angry shouting of Val could be heard from behind closed doors. Vox can already hear the glasses breaking and his precious voxtek equipment getting destroyed. The frustration of dealing with that mans temper never stops. Who does he think he is anyway?! Making all these expensive equipment costs money! Precious money! And it doesn't help the fact that he always demands the highest quality cameras too. Besides, why does he need them?! His eyes see in 144p anyway!

It was right at that point when a knife cut through the wooden door and broke yet another piece of expensive furniture. Great. All these were custom made god damn it.

Vox sighed heavily, trying to pinch an imaginary bridge of his nose, before his fingers were met with the flatness of his screen. It was the thought that counts.

"Hey huskers" vox called out with casual annoyance, like he'd rather not be dealing with this right now.

Huskers who had been loading up the latest voxtek equipment paused and turned their attention to Vox. "Yes?" They asked.

"I need you to take over the cameraman duty, our regular isn't showing up on time" Vox explained, already making his way to the door and waving his hand dismissively, muttering something under his breath about killing their regular with a five headed spear later.

Huskers, hurried to put away the box, which they assumed was filled with weird sex toys, and hurried over to Val's door. The knife sticking out of the door was concerning but it wouldn't be the first. Carefully they opened the door, readying themselves to dodge any attack thrown their way. Luckily for them, Val seemed to be distracted with another employee.

"Hi, I'm a stand-in for the cameraman" husk said, sliding over to the cameras sneakily. Val of course noticed and angrily shouted. "Fucking finally! That slut finally sent a bitch. Now chop chop!"

The job of a cameraman was not an easy one, especially when the scene in front of you is ridiculous. Not intentionally of course, but husk had to keep it in if they valued their life. Val didn't seem like the type of person who would take that kind of "disrespect" lightly.

"Oh daddy, please don't stack all those donuts on my penis!" Came the overly sexual and whimpering voice of Angie, who finally had gotten that line down without breaking character. A fish demon groaned, both for the act and because this stupid scene had finally been recorded after attempt number 69, much to everyone's relief. Val was getting antsy and would murder some poor employee any second.

Husk didn't know how angie took any of it seriously, even the sexier scenes. The whole scripted aspect felt very silly and goofy.

They guessed it didn't matter though, their job was finally done and they can fuck off from the studio. Husk would not be missing this place. They got up off their chair and just as they were about to head out, Angie, the one and only, had stopped them with an arm on the shoulder.

"Hey there new kid, pleasure-" he said, moaning out that specific word like a bitch in heat "to be doin buisness with ya" he said, offering two hands to shake husks one. Angie leaned against one of the lamps, nearly knocking it over in the process and started eyeing them up and down. "So, what brings ya to this studio?"

Huskers was visibly a little put off by the directness, but they should've expected as much. Everyday an event just reminds them that they are indeed in hell and that only the worst of the worst live here...

Ah, yes the question. "I'm just a stand-in for whoever was here before" They answered, pointing vaguely at the outside world. "Vox asked me to, and honestly doing camerawork is a much lighter load than what I was doing before"

Angie quirked a brow at this, either confused or not expecting that response. It could've honestly been both. His demeanor changed quickly though. "yeah. say, whatchya doin later?" biting his lip, he wiggled his eyebrows in a manner that would make grown men cum on the spot.

"Drowning down my sorrows with liquor" Huskers deadpanned, not biting at that fruit angel was so provocatively dangling in front of them. A scoff from him was expected. what wasn't expected though, was that the scoff was more amused than offended.

"you remind me of someone. say, how do you feel about redemption?"

"And these are the cockroaches that won't stop breeding! and this is the wall with a record breaking repairs done to it, and here's Angies dildo collection and-"

"babe, we've talked about this, you don't have to show them everything" Vaggie said, patting charlies shoulder hoping to ease or at least slow down the excited vibrating of her dearly beloved.

"Right, right! Sorry!" Charlie was quick to snap out of it, offering a small kiss to the back of Vaggies palm as an appreciative thank you and returning her attention back to Husk.

Husk was very much overwhelmed. All the energy in the room was making their brain sort-circuit and start buffering. They felt like they were under a microscope and being prodded with electric wires and it was... strangely pleasant. "Uh... Yes hi?"

A very mischievous chuckle came from nearby, one very much at a higher pitch of frequency and- Wait, is that the radio demon?

"Pardon my intrusion, but what is that on your wrist?" Alastor the radio demon said, bending his slutty waist to lean down at Husks eye level. "I believe there's a strict 'no voxtek products' policy here. Did you not bother to read the sign?" Alastor pointed his cane over to the whiteboard, which read:

RULES:

no Voxtek

no Vox

Jambalaya every friday

One of those sexy tentacles reached out, unclipping and retrieving the watch. He held it up in the air in front of everyone to see.

A collective gasp echoed through the room as Vaggie swiftly retrieved her spear from behind her back, pointing it menacingly at Husk "Not another one of these idiots" Vaggie growled, now in her defensive position. Angie and Charlie both flew to husk's defense, meanwhile Husk remained frozen in place. This was how they double died wasn't it?

"It's okay guys, they just work at voxtek. They're okay, I would know. They're harmless" Angie used one set of arms to shield husk and the other to gesture for everyone to ease their guard. The tension did die down a little, but that was fine. The tension in the room slowly began to dissipate, but Angie knew that Charlie would soon work her magic and convince everyone to give Husk a chance, as per usual.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"nun get out! I need to take a shit" dickmaster banged on the hotel's currently singular clean bathroom. The force of their knocking was definitely excessive and damaging to their hands, but it got the desperation of the request-no-demand across.

"you said to help answer asks, so I am doing that... in the toilet" Nun yelled through the door, not even bothering to look towards the door, currently blocking access to Dickmasters relief.

"I doubt that" Dickmaster crossed their arms, and legs. Their bladder was about to fucking explode. Just at that moment a ding went off on their phone.

'nunalastor just posted: anonymous asked...'.

huh.

guess they were actually answering asks in there.

"Okay fine but I still need to shit! Do your answering outside!"

"I'll get out after one more ask" Nun chuckled, knowing full well, they weren't about to stop the torment anytime soon.

"Your eyesight is piss poor. I doubt you can even read anything on your phone"

"You'll just have to wait and see~"

And of course, as any normal sane person would do in this situation, Dickmaster decided to start banging on the door until either nun had enough and left or until the door broke and they murdered nun themself.

"I bet your phone's font size is 230%-"

All that banging attracted the attention of Husk, who had been wandering around the room with Angie. They weren't walking together, but their paths were the same.

"What's that noise?"

"Oh that? That's just our marketing team doing their job"

"Sounds like fucking... Are they fucking?"

"HA, doubt it..." there was a pause, both in the speech and in the walk. "Maybe, sex sells afterall" Angie shrugged and continued walking forward.

"seems counterproductive for a place made for rehabilitation..."

Husk couldn't help but be curious. This hotel had turned out to be everything they hadn't expected from Hell. The residents were surprisingly pleasant, and even the staff, though weird as fuck, weren't as unbearable as the other sinners in Hell. Now that they thought about it, Charlie never mentioned a marketing staff. She seemed so excited to share about the hotel and it's people. One would think she wouldn't forget to mention them, right?

unable to resist the curiousity, Husk had to know who they were. They quietly sneaked towards the source of the banging. They rounded the corner and was met with an... Interesting visual. One demon, black eyes with yellow pupils desperately pounding on a door.

Dickmaster paused their relentless banging, a feeling of being watched washing over them. Their head snapped immediately in Husk's direction, locking eyes with them. Their expression displayed emotional as well as physical constipation.

Husk froze, their body stiffening like a board. Had they interrupted something? Should they make a break for it? The state of being caught in such an awkward situation was undeniably terrifying. With a rigid and awkward wave, Husk managed an awkward smile. And then they realised-

"Are you nunalastor? You look just like your profile picture"

FUCK, they're going to get accused of being a stalker.

#stopping the fic here because I am actually going insane #and yes #I got a bit lazy at the end #nunwhiskers #huskers bar x nunalastor #huskers-bar x nunalastor

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lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

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@huskers-bar x @nunalastor chapter 4

Tags: enemies to lovers, angst?, eventual fluff, yearning?, soft huskers-bar, both mods are separate people, no beta we die like i do, minor character death, ooc, au: hellaverse (hazbin hotel), nunalastor is head of the marketing department, jealousy?, huskers-bar is an employee at voxtek, lulu as a villain, huskers-bar is a liar, secret dating?

chapter: 4/? / chapter Word count: 2,484 / total word count: 7,426

A/N: pure lore this chapter. Almost none of the funny :( sorry. i've decided that as an apology for not being active at all today, the entirety of the next chapter is just going to be nunalastor fucking. I will also stop talking about plot from now on, cuz i'm just bullshitting my way through at this point.

"Hi" Lulu greeted. The room fell into an awkward silence, and the air thickened with palpable tension. Lulu locked his gaze with Alastor's, refusing to look away. The seconds stretched into minutes, elongating the unspoken battle of wills and determination, a staring contest neither wanted to lose, although Lulu was undeniably unaware of the game and was just being a menace.

"how may I assist you today?" Alastor finally spoke, his voice punctuated by a forced smile that failed to reach his eyes. The constant staring wasn't enough to get him to blink even once, but the mundane nature of just staring at Lulu was more than reason enough for Alastor to interject their five extremely long minutes of silence. Plus he didn't need the other members of the hotel to start asking questions. they were too persistent anyway.

Lulu snapped out of his reverie, jolted back to reality by Alastor's question. He rummaged through his bag, shuffling items aside in search of something specific, his actions conveying a sense of excitement. Ugh, he could've been a living vibrator with how jarring the immediate mood shift was. "Ah, right," He mumbled, his attention divided between the bag and Alastor. "I'm here to try and convince you to help me... Again."

Alastor let an exasperated sigh slip, pinching the bridge of his nose. This had been the third time lulu approached him this week alone and this feral... whatever that thing was, wasn't giving up on it "we've already went over this lulu, I am not going to help you steal Lucifers blood"

Lulu pouted, letting out a saddened squeak, his hands immediately stopping their search for the list of reasons Alastor should let Lulu steal Lucifers blood "Not even for 75 souls? Really cute ones?" He bargained, shoulders slumping and posture generally turning a lot more depressed, just like the owner of those shoulders probably was.

"No." Alastor reiterated, "No amount of souls is going to cut it."

The very annoyed and pissed expression on lulus face was honestly disgusting. Lulu leaned in closer, as if the proximity would convince Alastor. oh how wrong he was.

"Dear, why don't you just stop with this nonsense?" Alastor said, the corners of his trademark fake smile twitching in irritation. He put his hands back behind him and stepped away. The more distance between this creature and him the more comfortable he felt.

"what if it was the entire west side of the pentagram?" Lulu offered, sort of as a last ditch attempt... for today at least. Lulu was not exactly sane enough to know when to quit.

"I highly doubt a creature such as yourself is going to be able to achieve such a thing" Alastor answered, mostly as a jab to Lulus pathetic self, but the idea of him gathering so many souls was an amusing one.

However, Lulu didn't think so. Lulus eyes lit up with mischief, immediately switching from that almost-scowl to a smirk even the devil wouldn't be able to mimic. He jumped from the realization, "so that is a maybe! progress"

Alastor shouldn't be surprised but he is. Why is Lulu so obsessed with lucifers blood? sure it tasted good but not that good. Alastor sighed, shaking his head in disbelief and spoke "if that was all you came here for than you're welcome to leave"

"yeah, okay-" Lulu cut himself off as soon as he noticed a sexy four armed hottie walking by the door. "woah! who's that sexy thing over there?"

"excuse me?" Angie turned his head at the directed voice at him. he looked left and right, as if to make sure it was really him that this random imp looking creature was talking to. Once he was sure there was no one else, he put on his trademark seductive smile "oh, are you one of my fans?"

"no, never seen you in my life. what's a beautiful thing like you doing here?" Lulu said casually, running up to Angie and circling around him. The concept of personal space must've been a heaven thing because Lulu was prodding at absolutely every part of Angie.

"oh, that's a first." Angie chuckled nervously as he watched Lulu welcome himself to his body. "well the names angie"

"the names lulu." Lulu answered in a heartbeat. He finally relented the assault and turned to Alastor, waving "Bye Alastor, I'll be stealing your bitches"

"what?"

"he's the most precious thing I have with me here at the hotel!" Angie said petting the pig in question. Little fat nuggets was very comfortably set in his lap and was napping.

"he is a cute pig, i'll admit." Lulu said, laughing along and staring at the adorable little creature. He tapped his fingers against the nearest surface, humming to himself. "hmm... say though, what is it that you actually desire? surely there's more to your existence than just taking care of fat nuggets?"

Angie slumped at that question, he didn't like being reminded of work, especially not when he's supposed to be relaxing. HE looked away, scratching the back of his head "oh, that's complicated"

"how so?" Lulu pried, crossing his legs, picking up his teacup and taking one sip. "It's tea time, and tea needs spillin"

Angie shrugged, reaching out one of his four arms to grab his own cup. he blew on it before taking a sip and sighing. "well, I kinda sold my soul to a blind prick" He began

"ah, gotcha" Lulu nodded, "go on, what's this prick like?" he pried, observing him with a keen eye.

That was all it took for Angie to start going off. "he's a real asshole, and not the sexy kind. he has no sense of personal space and is so insistent on always having me around. it's pathetic really-"

As Angie continued his rambling about how unbearable val was, Lulu listened attentively, observing him with a keen eye. Sensing Angie's frustration and dissatisfaction, Lulu formulated a surprising proposal. "What if I told you," Lulu interjected, his voice filled with intrigue, "that I could help you with that?"

"You're serious?" Angie asked, his voice tinged with both skepticism and caution, but he wasn't too against the idea, who would be?

Lulu nodded, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. "Absolutely. I have been trying to find a way to gain status you see, and what better way than to steal the porn overlords most prized bitch?"

Angie leaned forward, his attention fully captured by Lulu's proposition. "And what would you want in return? I've learned the hard way that nothing comes without a price. Not making that mistake again"

Lulu's smile widened as he raised his teacup to his lips, savoring another sip before placing it back on the table. "you're absolutely right. The thing is, the plan I have in mind isn't one I can carry out on my own. I need a helping hand. A partner in crime" Lulu said, letting the rest be left unspoken.

"i'm not helping you kill someone" Angie said, crossing his first set of arms over his chest and wrapping the second around fat nuggets almost like a shield.

"kill? nonsense" Lulu said, waving his hand in dismissal, as if even the mere idea of it was ridiculous. |I need you to help me collect souls. souls that will give me a name. nothing more. I can guarantee I will not be harming any soul that I collect"

That sounded very sketchy. On one hand, yes it made sense, collecting souls was how other overlords became overlords, but most overlords were also assholes. Angie couldn't let another one like valentino exist in the world. But the offer was too tempting... "how do I know you ain't lying?"

Lulu got up, extending a hand over to angie, pausing first in confusion. He was having trouble deciding which hand would need shaking "uh..." He shook it off. "I'll make a contract. In exchange for your assistance, I promise to free you from valentino grasp. In addition, I promise that I will not harm a single soul in the process"

Angie was sold. That was enough a reason to think this guy wasn't fucking around. "As you already know, I've already sold a part of my soul. no need for the deal. I'll help you"

"wonderful. I'll be discussing the plan with you two weeks before the next extermination"

Vox stared at Huskers, his crimson eyes narrowing as he processed the situation. Alastor, the infamous Radio Demon, had broken another of Vox's employees watches. His anger was palpable and causing static to appear between his antennas. "That fucking bastard?!"

Husk shifted uncomfortably under Vox's gaze. The pitch shift in Vox's voice was stupid but a little intimidating. "I'm sorry. I didn't get to talk to him, I went to this hotel after Angie offered, and I just stumbled upon him there"

Vox looked like he was about to blow a fuse but for a moment Vox's anger got replaced with a smirk. He paced back and forth across his office, his sharp claws clicking against the marble floor. The gears in his mind (literally) spun rapidly, taking into account every single opportunity he had now that husk was attending the hotel.

"Hmm," Vox muttered, his screen displaying a smirk worthy of the sexiest man on twitter. "Maybe this isn't such a bad idea. Someone to gather intel on my dear Alastor-I mean, that asshole!" He turned his attention back to Huskers, his gaze piercing. "It has failed once, but to be fair, that Pentious was a complete idiot." Vox paused, putting a finger up to his face. "Do they trust you?"

Husker hesitated, unsure how to respond. "Uh... not particularly," they admitted. Sure, they were in hell, but they were almost killed on the first day, that can't be a sign of trust.

Vox waved a dismissive hand in the air. "Unimportant. From now on, you are free from all other duties," He declared, his voice full of pure adulterated joy, one only a horny man like vox could make. "Your primary job will be to gather intel on that radio prick. I want to know his every move, his every plan. What he eats. Where he sleeps. What his favorite color is. What time he goes to sleep. What his hooves look like-"

"But sir—" Husker began, his voice tinged with hesitation.

Vox's eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "Do not even try to negotiate with me on this," he warned, his voice laced with a dangerous edge. "I own your soul" He reminded.

Husker's shoulders slumped, defeated. "Okay," he muttered, his voice barely audible. It would be fine. He saw Alastor once the entire day anyway and that was when he needed to break his tech. He wouldn't even get the opportunities to gather intel anyway.

"good" Vox turned away, his mind already racing with schemes and plots. He had been blindsided by Alastor once, but this time would be different. He would have his dear Alastor tied up and begging for mercy!

"and that concludes today's exercises! you're free to go about your days as usual now!" Charlie clapped, signaling everyone's dismissal. She turned to huskers and called out before they could leave "Huskers, may I have a moment?"

"yes, your... highness?"

Charlie chuckled, shaking her head. "Just Charlie," she corrected, her warm smile putting Huskers slightly at ease. "You know we have rooms at the hotel for you to stay at, right? I think it would be beneficial for all of us if you were available as soon as we started, and if it's something you'd like?"

Huskers' shoulders slumped and they sighed. "I mean, it's not entirely up to me, Princess. I'd have to consult with my boss first," They explained. It wouldn't be everyday that Vox showed mercy.

Charlie's expression turned thoughtful, and she nodded understandingly. "Alright, we'll let you talk it out with him and hopefully we can get you here!"

Charlie's excitement died down quickly though, realizing that due to short staff (literally), they were out of rooms where people could actually survive. "Unfortunately, we only have one empty and clean room at the hotel right now, and it's up with our marketing staff."

Huskers eyes lit up. The marketing staff? That's Nunalastor!

"And they tend to get messy at nigh-"

"I'll do it!" they far too quickly accepted, not wanting to miss the opportunity. "I don't mind at all. I'd love to take the room! I'm sure nu-the marketing staff are lovely!" they chuckled nervously, making it way too obvious what their intentions were.

Charlie, bless her heart, either didn't notice or didn't mention it. Her eyes sparkled with joy. "Wow, such enthusiasm! See, I knew I was right about you!"

Alastor hummed to himself as he traveled up the stairs. He couldn't help but overhear huskers little interaction with charlie and he just couldn't let the opportunity for some chaos and fun pass. He approached the door to Dickmasters and Nuns room and knocked thrice. Some thumping could be heard on the other side before the door opened in front of him.

Dickmaster answered "yes?"

"greetings, cohorts" Alastor greeted with that charming smile of his. Both Nun and Dickmaster collectively rolled their eyes.

"do you mind? we're in the middle of a fucking..." Dickmaster trailed off.

"we are not fucking, they're just too dumb to finish that sentence" Nun shouted from behind the room. The fact that they were sprawled across the bed in nothing but a shirt on wasn't helping the situation.

Alastor chose to not comment on it. He didn't care. His eyes gleamed with mischief as he began to speak "I have a favor. you see this new resident of ours is here to make my life miserable. I can hear vox's pathetic begging almost from across the pentagram, and they're a spy of his. I'm sure of it, however I don't view them as a threat"

Dickmaster raised a brow, unamused. "uhm, congrats? what's that gotta do with us?"

Alastor chuckled, leaning in font of them, hands resting on his cane. "oh, nothing much. I simply ask that you make their life miserable with your charming little quirks"

Nun and Dickmaster exchanged glances, contemplating Alastor's request. It wouldn't be hard and could prove to be quite entertaining. Plus, Nun wanted to stick it to that guy for some reason. After a brief silence, they smirked and nodded. "oh, will do at some point. What's in it for us though?"

"Entertainment"

"that's hardly a fair deal"

"By the looks of things, that isn't going to stop you." Alastor doesn't wait for a response and starts to melt away into his shadow. "they'll be staying in the room across from you." is the words he left with.

"fuck that guy with his own cane, seriously"

#lulu is delulu #nunwhiskers #lulu is feral #lulu fed you twice this week #don't expect a new one anytime soon #huskers-bar x nunalastor #this is a nunalastor simp blog #now if you'll excuse me I have probably a 100+ nunalastor posts to read through <3

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lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

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Alright, majority wanted hot gay sex in my nunwhiskers fic so time for another vote!

#nunwhiskers #lulu is delulu #nunalastor x huskers-bar #huskers-bar x nunalastor #lulu is feral #lulu polls

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lu-lus-duckies · 2 months

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all of them will be revealed in due time, this is just about which you'd like to see first. they're all being worked on as we speak

#huskers bar x nunalastor #not looking at this poll until it's ended #lulu is delulu #lulu polls

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lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

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my OTPs are nunalastor x huskers-bar (obviously) and the two bookkeepers of the polies

@xxx-angie x @the-aprilfools-bitch

#lulu is delulu #cursed polycule #lulu is feral

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lu-lus-duckies · 2 months

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Hi, here's about me and some questions you might have!

Updated: april 26th 2024

MINORS DNI please

Important!! Please don't use real money to do things for me in any capacity. It makes me uneasy, uncomfortable and puts a lot of pressure on me. Thank you for your understanding <3 also Important: I can not and will not take anything seriously, if you want to say something serious to me, send me a DM, I'm more likely to respond seriously there

Who are you?

@ nunalastor's emotional support white boy™

People just call me lulu on here. I'm 20 and go by any pronouns. AFAB (and cis). my gender is whatever makes you gay. somewhere on the ace spectrum.

Also CEO of forcing people to get some fucking sleep!

important note: I respond in the horniest ways to @ nunalastorscursedkitten, but they have explicitly stated they don't want sexual stuff directed towards them without their consent. I have confirmed that they are okay with me responding in a horny way and you should make sure before doing it too

tags (will not sort these out at all):

lulu is delulu - my posts babygirl anon fest - asks specifically from babygirl revoke lulu's art license - my art stuff nunwhiskers - the ship of nunalastor x huskers-bar lulu is feral - reblogs where I am feral lulus nun reblogs - I just tend to reblog everything of nunalastors so it's a tag now lulu reblogs - art/theories/incorrect quotes ect lulu convos - me interracting with peeps here lulu crooks - going into detail about things i shouldn't be going into detail of. (maybe infodumping) cursed polycule - me and the 100+ husbands/wives interracting (xxx-angie list in their pinned) lulu asks - me answering asks this is a nunalastor simp blog - anytime I openly bark for nunalastor lulu lore - me accidentally dropping irl lulu lore lulu fun facts - exactly what it says lulu polls - polls lulu is a boomer - me not knowing basic pop culture things cuz I live under a rock lulu loves nunalastorscursedkitten / and paincaat too / lulu loves paincaat / and nunalastorscursedkitten too - my interractions with @ paincaat / @ nunalastorscursedkitten lulu loves getting called slurs - me getting called the f-word lulu infodumps - infodumps about stuff that might not always be hazbin hotel fools being sexy - @ the-aprilfools-bitch tag

who is safe here?

everyone except minors. I don't judge. This is a safe space regardless of race, gender, sexuality or anything else. Be as cringe/not cringe as you want

What is this blog?

Used to be a hazbin blog, now turned to me simping for daddy nunalastor and interracting with the cursed polycule

What can I ask or share with you?

Literally anything you want to share, no limits. I respond to everything, even hate so if I haven't responded I'm either asleep or the message didn't appear in my inbox.

One thing I don't respond to is chain sends cuz I can't be bothered with that shit. Anything else is a yes

What's with the bad English?

English is my second language. I pride myself on being able to read it fluently, but I might have problems with talking in a way that flows naturally to native speakers. So sorry bout that

What time are you active?

Honestly, all over the place. Don't look too much into it, but I'm from the country of Georgia if that helps

Can I use your ideas?

Absolutely! You don't even need to ask. I won't say this is a necessity, but If you decide to use them, I'd love it if you'd tag me. I love seeing all kinds of things people make and I'd love to see yours too!

Why are you so unhinged and sexual? Aren't you ace?

Asexuals aren't all sex-repulssed and can enjoy it too. I am uncomfy with the act of sex but I love joking and shitting about it. Me saying something is hot/sexy/makes my dick hard is just me saying "I love this and i think it's cool" when that isn't enough to express my love. (I think I'm being funny)

Is the art on nunalastor's blog you sometimes repost yours?

Yes, the art posted on their asks by mylz-flick is by me. It's my primary blog and i don't use it for anything so all my asks are submitted through there

Why don't you post as often anymore?

Because all my posts go straight to nunalastor's blog. Go check them out, it's great

By nunalastor s request:

Who hurt you?

Nunalastor did when they rizzed up my mom

What's with the worms? That's disgusting

Well, nunalastor made this post and it turned me on a little ngl

What is the cursed polycule?

Well, I spontaneously decided that my go to funny (not funny) joke would be to start asking everyone who agreed with me or had similar tastes to kiss me. Long story short, now I'm a whore™ with 100+ husbands that I can't keep track of and that's the cursed polycule

Why do you keep calling nunalastor daddy?

Many reasons. First, Nunalastor saying they would fuck my mom in the DMs when I told them about her. So naturally, if my mom and nunalastor got married they would be the dad hence, daddy. Also, nunalastor is unapologetically my favourite blog on here and the title "daddy" is reserved for them. Also their word is law to me and they deserve the respectful title

The way you interract with minors is disgusting

I have minors please don't interract in my bio for a reason. I expect a decent human being to see that and kindly leave my blog. I don't check who I'm responding to most of the time so I probably didn't even notice it was a minor. I'm just trying to be fun.

If you are a minor and I responded/reblogged your art or post with some batshit crazy shenanigans like I do with everyone, send me a DM and I'll delete it. I'd rather it be in the DMs instead of out in public because out here I have people acting like they hate me and I don't want to accidentally take something that's meant to be a serious request to stop like a joke.

What's with that one pregnant anon stuff at nunalastors blog?

Listen, I don't care what shit people send me, but if you even dare harm, harass or just in general be an asshole to the ones I consider nice people, I will not take that lightly.

To everyone: if you get haters, tag me so I can draw them pregnant.

Is the cursed polycule an actual relationship or just a joke?

It's just a joke between us.

Can I join the polycule?

Daddy has revoked my marriage license so you'll have to consult with the other members. I take what daddy demands very seriously

You can however, talk to the other members of the polycule and join. We could also have a platonic relationship going on in the polycule if you want

What is up with you and pronouns?

Sorry, in my native language there are no gendered pronouns. We just have a singular he/she/they for everyone. I use he/him for me (despite being a woman) because it's what rolls off the tongue easier for me. For everyone else I use they/them because you can never go wrong with neutral.

Are you actually attracted to nunalastor?

Honestly, the only time I've experienced attraction (i think? Still unsure if it was that) was with one girl at my uni and the feeling I have for nunalastor is very similar. It's not the exact kinda feeling but I have a very strong desire to make them proud. Not sure exactly what it is but no, I don't want to actually fuck them and I don't want to kiss them either. That seems gross. I do however wanna hold their hand and recieve headpats from them. Idk just know me as the nunalastor simp, that's easier to explain.

(and yes both mods)

Why do you keep mentioning nunalastor calling you the f-word?

Because I genuinely /gen /srs loved it. This isn't a joke. It made me overstimmed and honestly was a little overwhelmed with giddiness. keep in mind though, that while I enjoy getting called the slur, I will not be calling anyone that because that makes me uncomfy.

why haven't you responded to my reblog/comment/ask?

I generally respond to everyone I can. but either it was

lost in my notifs

was posted by a minor and I don't want to attract minors here

If it was on a reblog of something, I assumed it was meant for op

I just couldn't think of anything to respond with (which is rare)

feel free to let me know if it was either 1 or 3 but I won't respond to minors

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