[The OT4 are snooping into someone's office]

Malcolm: We should be careful! What if we tumble onto something that we shouldn't, like inappropiate portraits of his wife?

Henry: Why would he do that?

Prim: Would you like some of those of me, love?

Mal, blushing: No! ...Yes! Uh– *stammers* let's just focus on the mission!

Elian: I wouldn't mind one

Henry: Not the time, Elian

Sue me wksbksksjs @gaygryffindorgal @potionboy3

Henry: I wasn’t THAT drunk last night

Prim: You were flirting with Elian.

Henry: So? He’s my boyfriend.

Prim: You asked him if he was single

Prim: And then cried when he said he wasn’t.

prim by @endlessly-cursed

elian by @potionboy3

MC: *angry, with their wand pointed at Sebastian* get on your knees.

Sebastian: *gets on his knees* *pulls a ring out*

Ominis, softly chuckling: So you both are still virgins?

MC: As if that makes us lesser then you.

Ominis, smirking: It does, sex changes a man.

MC, with an exciting expression: It was Anne wasn't it?!

Ominis, eyes wide in shock: Maybe.

MC, grabbing Sebastian by the robe and shaking him: I fucking knew it!

Sebastian:

Ominis: Why are you so excited about this?

MC, doing a lil happy dance: This moron just lost the bet we had and thus has to do all my history of magic coursework for the rest of the year.

Garreth: I'm pretty confident my last words will be "well, shit, that didn't work"

Incorrect Quotes: Squad Edition (Part 4)

(Leander and MC squaring up for a duel in Defense Against the Dark Arts)

Leander: *condescending* I almost feel bad trying to duel you, MC… You’re so inexperienced, so innocent

MC: *laughs, then narrows eyes* Try me, you built-like-a-bowtruckle-bitch

MC: *proceeds to whoop Leander’s ass in the duel*

Sebastian: *cheering way too loudly* THAT’S MY GIRL!!!

Sebastian: Why would I listen to you? anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid

Ominis: Sebastian Sallow

Lucie: My love, do you want a quickie?

Thane: Wh- excuse me?!

Lucie: You know, that dish with eggs and all...

Thane: It's pronounced quische, Luce!

@potionboy3 Thane's face would be priceless wkhsnsns

after this post i made i simply had to.

tagging @endlessly-cursed and @camillejeaneshphm come collect eddie because his dad is bullying him

Sebastian and MC: *Making their way through a loyalist camp*

MC: Sebastian, we need a plan of attack.

Sebastian: I have a plan. Attack.

Sebastian: *Runs ahead and starts blowing things up and setting everything on fire*

MC: 👁👄👁

MC and Sebastian after killing a camp full of Dark Wizards while using the Unforgivable Curses.

MC: I don't understand why they're still called Unforgivables for people like us. Why seek forgiveness when we aren't doing anything wrong.

Sebastian: Exactly. What's unjust about killing evil people.

MC, nodding in agreement.

Sebastian: Now if only we could explain that to Ominis.

MC: I've tried. He ended up saying something about "not needing to be able to see to know I'm going down the wrong path" or some shit.

Sebastian, playfully smacking MC in the shoulder: He said that to me once too! Maybe we are truly kindred spirits.

Currently writing some dark toned 7th year Hogwarts drama, but my brain keeps giving me dumb jokes. I`ll share this episode before redacting it from tumblr lol gags to something proper. Setting: Truth or Dare in Slytherin common room. Special guest Sammy Dale. Game is enchanted so it has to be The Truth, that's why very few people play it. Because it`s SCANDALOUS. With MC joining the game current line up was: MC, Sebastian Sallow, Violet McDowell, Ominis Gaunt, Samantha Dale. Since MC were the last one to join they had to do a truth or dare.

MC: Truth Violet: Kiss/marry/kill. Imelda Reyes, Sebastian Sallow, Garreth Weasley MC: That’s easy. Obviously, marry Imelda, kiss Garreth and kill Sebastian Sebastian places his palm on his chest, offended: Wow. To kiss Weasley and kill me, really? MC: I said what I said. Ok, Sebs? Sebastian: Dare MC: I dare you get slapped in the face by someone of your choice Ominis: That's kinky Sebastian chooses Samantha, mumbling something about her being less of a bitch then other people out here. Gets smacked, everyone wooes MC: You liked it, I bet, lol Sebastian: Shut up. Violet? Violet: Truth Sebastian: Have you ever fantasized about someone in that circle? Violet: Um.. Yeah Everyone: OOOoOOOOh Violet: Ominis? Ominis: Truth Violet: Would you marry a mudblood? Ominis: I would if I could, if that makes sense. MC? MC: Truth Ominis: Your darkest fear? MC: Dull, forgettable life. Gives me chills, fr Sam? Samantha: Truth MC: Love or power? Samantha: Power, obviously Everyone pretty surprised bc she is not a Slytherin. MC smiles: I was curious Samantha: Ominis Ominis: Dare Samantha: I dare you to kiss the most beautiful person in this circle, on the lips Everybody looks at her with a question, like "bitch, he blind" Samantha explains: Well, I think that his notion of beauty is the most interesting one, because it's not just about a pretty face! Sebastian: That actually really smart. MC: Right, playing with a Ravenclaw got some spice. Not just those basic mudblood\power questions.

Time for some HPHL incorrect quotes: The Squad edition!

Part 2 of hphl incorrect quotes. This time, I added my favorite Hufflepuff student, Poppy Sweeting.

Ominis: we need a plan-

MC: I've got an idea

Ominis: a plan that doesn't involve murdering anyone

MC: then I don't

MC had killed more people than Sebastian lets be honest...