#how is that stupid foul fictional man worth any of this!
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Fall favorites 2022!
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GREETINGS
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October 30th/2022
Happy Halloween!
It’s been like 4 months since the last update.lol. As you can tell I was busy with life. Specifically work and preparing to possibly open my etsy store soon.
I have been testing out different prints to sell and stickers, also thinking about making some clay pins. I have seen some videos on sellers making them and I have all the tools so why not right?
I’ll let you guys know more as it gets closer to opening date. I also have not been reading many webtoons and that’s kind of why the reviews haven’t been monthly.lol. I have to say I probably reached the peak of reading good webtoons now and I just don’t find a lot of new stories that interesting. But I will try to compile at least a couple to talk about and feature them when I can.
Anyways, you’re not here to listen to me ramble about my life so let’s get to it.
Happy reading!
Sheena
Please suggest me some dramas to watch...I’m just watching stranger things and i’ll review that after I’m done.
Recap:
I’m just going to put up the ongoing list only. I also eliminated some titles because they are now completed or I dropped them for now
Ongoing
Liveta (hiatus)
Pearl boy
Semantic error
The foul (hiatus)
Secret relationships
Kings Maker (S2)
One night mate (hiatus)
Night fragments (hiatus)
The pizza delivery man and the gold palace
Dangerous convenient store
Updates on ongoing titles:
I think the recap section is going to be the longest this update...lol. Just a heads up Spoilers are ahead so if you don’t want to be spoiled ...don’t read it.
You may have noticed some of the ongoing ones are now finished. It was not worth mentioning. Turn off the camera, like how I figured jihoon ended up with yujin, of course...whatever choosing the second lead was never a thing in the first place so why do I bother....
I honestly don’t remember anything about semantic error anymore, it’s been so long since I last read it, I’ll have to get back on that train.
Secret relationships:
Oh boy...the absolute landmine, every person is triggered every Monday by any type of update, lmao it’s honestly so funny to see people defend a 2D character like they are best friends and just covering for their mistakes and making up things to excuse their actions...I’m like, dude if this was your actual friend you would call them out on their shit, you would end your friendship with them if they did something stupid. Needless to say this is all fiction...don’t be rude to other people just cause you have different opinions.
Let me just say the last few updates, if it’s not a flash back it’s a really confusing chapter. I have said this before and I’ll say it again, the plot line at this point is fan service up until now the story had been 75% flashbacks and maybe less than 25% story...it was not until chapter 110 that finally something happened that moves the story forward..Meaning that Daon was finally able to let go of jaemin and go their separate ways, whatever happened in the last 10 years was draining and heavy on both parties, they kept this whole weird relationship going on as more a security sense rather than anything else, even if it was the biggest betrayal a person can commit. It was really hard to read because it is like a 10 year relationship break up where you don’t want to let go because it’s familiar and at the same time you need to choose yourself and think about what you want and just not care. This is the hardest thing people can go through at the time but let me just tell you after it’s all done and time goes by...it will be just fine...just know that and move forward and things will work out!
Maybe I’m giving that author too much credit but that chapter was daon’s defining moment, and I was really happy for him, finally he was able to let go and chase after his own happiness, not saying it has to be Sunghyeon...but just in general being free from something that isn’t working.
But speaking of Sunghyeon...well a picture is worth a thousand words right? After he runs off from jaemin, he went running straight into a certain person’s arms.
Following up to the next chapter 111, Daon talked about how he was ready to start something new and he wants to do that with sunghyeon, so asked for a chance to be with him. I cannot tell you how long I have waited for this from them, my sungda fangirl heart was screaming. I have to say sunghyeon’s reaction was very real and understanding especially since he didn’t know what had happened between him and jaemin and didn’t really know how to react, most people would expect him to just kiss him right there and then...which Korean dramas love to portray as romantic, but he didn’t and instead was hesitating a bit since he was contemplating about his relationship with daon at this point and whether or not he trusts him since in a way daon did betray his trust more than a few times, but in the end he accepted him. This makes him feel anxious and daon reassures him by holding his hand while they are in a taxi, signifying that he wasn’t going anywhere I guess.
On that note some stupid comments were made by people who clearly are just dumb and don’t realize that there are something called “trains” in Korea and not everyone drives cause they were all salty about sunghyeon not for his character but because he does not having a car and therefore he’s poor why would you choose him...I’m like I don’t know what money you are making to afford one especially if you are an average salary office worker...
If this all you can come up with...educate yourself please. Haters be hating on really dumb things. I mean doesn’t everyone deserve to be with someone who encourages them rather than someone who disregards the person’s feelings and emotional well being?
Also the guy waited for Daon in the rain. He stood in the pouring rain with Daon until he was able to collect himself and leave. Get yourself a man who will do that cause that is the kind of partner that will stand by you though hard times, and Daon was at his lowest point, he essentially lost a relationship he worked so hard to maintain and now is unsure about this new relationship.
I’m saying “unsure” meaning that he has never been in a proper relationship involving both parties being mutually interested. So he does not know how this is going to go.
But I’m so glad Sunghyeon stood with him and held him in that moment.
After wards, they went to Sunghyeon’s place and washed up...not together..I presume. And Sunghyeon was patching up Daon’s feet because he ran out of jaemin’s place without his shoes...he just needed to go. During this time there was so much sexual tension between the two and Daon started giving some “bed room” eyes that does not go unnoticed by Sunghyeon and they started to make out...believe me when I say that I stopped breathing for a sec...lol.
Now saying this there are people who believe that it would not be right to engage into sexual activity as Daon is emotionally vulnerable, but from the way he looked at him..it looked like he was waiting for something to happen, his lips where parted a little and cheeks flushed and eyes locked onto sunghyeon, I don’t know...looked like he wanted a kiss. So there is nothing wrong with wanting to touch the person you love, he is aware of what’s going on and does not reject it so we should just let it be and stop being salty just ‘cause your pairing is not the end game. But I guess we will see what happens in the next chapter....I’m happy clearly.
Pearl boy:
Guess who’s back...
Can I just say that season 3 is here and the art just keeps getting better, the creator is working real hard on the art and it really shows...she is so talented.
I think where we left off was when dooshik had come back from his ex’s funeral and had overheard some dudes in a van talk about kidnapping jooha, these men were actually pilwon’s henchman. It’s been a while since I wrote his name lol, I almost wrote pinworm again.
From the first few chapters you can tell that dooshik was being anxious but not really vocalizing it to jooha which made him frustrated since he was going to start working at a sushi restaurant he applied for when they were out on a date. There were snippets of dooshik’s past and you got to see the glimpses of what he went through during his time in jail and the host club. There was a line that he said that was intriguing, “I can’t seem to get rid of this smell” and it was from the time where he was in jail presuming that he had blood on his hands from getting into fights and even after starting anew at the host club he would still encounter that “smell” and saying that he was can never get rid of it no matter how many times he tried to cover it. I’m not really sure if this is what he meant, but to me that phrase just means you can never forgot where you come from, you can’t cover up the things you’ve done. I still don’t know what happened and how he ended up in prison back then, maybe when it is revealed then I’ll figure it out.
Also a lot of new characters were introduced, I really like sunghyun, I think he could be a good ally for dooshik but it does not look like their relationship is that great and he does not seem to trust dooshik. I don’t know why...but some part of me would really enjoy the thought that he secretly had a crush on dooshik...lol. I don’t know why maybe because I know jooha and dooshik’s love is so strong that it seems impenetrable so I don’t mind it if it were true.
I think the thing I liked the most is the progression of dooshik and jooha’s relationship, I mean yes they were cute together before but they are 10x more romantic and in deeper sense, they trust each other even if they can’t communicate their feelings well. Just seeing jooha look at the picture of them together and looking all smitten is really rewarding after all the things he went through, he was getting the opportunity to build his future together with dooshik and that made him excited.
Who wouldn’t get excited look at dat face yall....he’s so fine...
Lol anyways, I hope the English translations will come out soon cause I don’t fully understand from just summaries and raw pictures. I definitely know something bad is about to happen because in the chapter that described how dooshik and sunghyun met , sunghyun had asked what does he want in exchange for giving him Intel, and dooshik just said he wanted jooha to be safe
And right after that a bunch of foreshadowing of events yet to come was shown, dooshik was bleeding and on a stretcher with a oxygen mask attached clearly being sent to the hospital and jooha looked like he was trying to run to him and screaming while looking wrecked, while there are faint beeping sounds of the heart monitor in the background, that whole segment I can visually see it happening and I was not ready for it. So get ready for me to cry a river when that happens.
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Welcome to some spicy reads (21+)
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Killer Crush:
Breaking News: Professional killer Joo Tae Man fell in love with Korea's favorite actor, Kang Da Hyuk! Professional killer Joo Tae-man has endured extreme physical training, mental education, and cruel torture-- but somehow easily falls apart to Kang Da-hyuk's kindness...?
Joo Tae Man who has trained for years as a professional killer thought “is this love?”
What should I do at times like this?”
I think part of my not reading more BL manhwa is because of shitty summaries like this
So this story starts off with a group of thugs interrogating this man for information and the gang leader gets a call saying that the target is with them and the leader was baffled because the target was right here tied up. Turns out the target had killed the guy guarding him and turns out to a hired hitman. The hitman’s name is joo tae man, and he is like a phantom assassin that leaves no traces of his victims and is what these thugs have been having trouble dealing with lately.
Another person named kang dahuyk is Koreas’ favorite actor who wanted to try out a different role as a killer and was not able play the role perfectly, due to his face being too pretty.lol.
Not wanting to be boxed in as a one trick pony he finds ways to improve his acting ability including following tae man who had the look of a serial killer to his part time job as a convenience store part timer only to learn the ways of getting into character. in the store an old drunk man was harassing tae man at the counter and his thoughts of killing him is so funny...he wanted to break his spine just to get him to shut up.lol. but of course that would blow his cover
But then da hyuk said that he’d pay for the old man just so he wouldn’t start something. He then bought a coffee and gave it to tae man saying it was for him and that made taeman’s stone cold heart go crazy...lol. The boy fell in love for the first time in his 34 years of existence..oh boy
Dahyuk had been on his mind since that day and it turns out that he had a boss and co-worker that were also killers and they can sense that something is off about taeman and they were finding ways to torture the crap out of him just to purge the romantic feelings out...lol. Out demon!
Dahyuk became interested in taeman and started to show up at the convenient store often, there was a confirmation between taeman and the gang leader from chapter 1, the gang leader had suspected the killer was nearby and could possibly be taeman so he decided to confront him.
Dahyuk tried to save taeman and almost ended up getting hit in the process. This was what initiated them to actually talk to each other and they found that they enjoyed each other’s company and dahyuk gave him his number, his colleague was telling him to turn him down by being rude on the phone, instead they made plans to have a date in the “mountains” which is what dahyuk wanted in the first place, he wanted to observe taeman to improve his acting skills.
During their trip together, taeman did everything to be a turn off to dahyuk trying to make him seem like the worst person, but ended up with dahyuk slipping and hurting his leg and they both were almost getting attacked by boars. One of the boars was going to kill dahyuk but taeman jumps in and kills it, thinking that he exposed himself and that dahyuk was disgusted by him he apologizes. Dahyuk was in fact convinced that he had served in the Special Forces and that’s why he knew so much about hunting and was just glad that he’s not hurt.
Things progressed well after and taeman started to accept the fact that he likes taeman and found other ways to get involved with him, the gangster in chapter one was targeting dahyuk for some reason and that made taeman more inclined to be involved. His friend however...has major issues and didn’t like the fact that taeman and dahyuk may like each other and he his love interest (boss man) didn’t give a crap about him. He tried to mess up their relationship by pretending him and taeman were dating, this made dahyuk back off a couples days from contacting taeman, until the boy does not care anymore and just wants to see him. Taeman felt the same and said that he won’t let this affect his work even if he was interested in another person, so they ran to meet up with each other and some cute events happen...
You’ll need to read it to find out cause i’ll just stop here. This was a really interesting read, I mean I can actually see this getting an anime adaptation because it’s just light hearted comedy and it has a good mixture of romantic scenes between two awkward people and comedic scenes in how they deal with their emotions. I highly recommend this if you want something fun to read. You can read this on Lezhin comics.
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Trash segment (21+)
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a.k.a the part of the series where I shit on your favorite manhwa/manga/webtoon etc. Joking but not really, you have been warned.
This is the new section where you’re going to find titles that I dropped and the reasons why I discontinued the series all together, fair warning if you triggered by people criticizing your favorite series then you may want to skip this section all together. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and not every series that is “popular” or well liked by others will be like by all...therefore if there is content that makes a person uncomfortable enough to stop the series, that is on them and please don’t judge them for their morals.
So to recap, the series that I mentioned dropping so far are
Love or Hate
Yours to claim
Wistful summer
Anti-p.t.
The sound of fire
Kiss damnation
Cherry blossoms after the winter
Chasing Mr. CEO
Who’s a sweet cheater?
Another sequence
Thinking of dropping Love is a fantasy...lol. This goes to show you that the author only knows how to write certain type of stories, the situations between the adults in here seems more like teenagers dealing with puberty rather than adults dealing with these situations. So I’ve become uninterested at this point.
Currently watching chainsaw man so i’ll let you know how that goes. Liking it so far.
No music suggestions this month, please recommend me some!
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Ending note:
Hello,
You have reached the end, what do you think? Sorry for the one review really but like I’ve said nothing has been catching my attention as of late due to me being busy with work and side projects. Hope fully I can go back to writing monthly again.
I will update about my shop once that is up and running, and I will work on more art soon, I have uploaded a few prints that will be available for purchasing, if you have any ideas of prints you would want to see please let me know in the comments!
Okay, bye for now.
Take care
sheena
#monthly favorites#manga review#bl manhwa#shounen ai#shounenai#bl manga#yaoi manga#killer crush#pearl boy#secret relationships
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This Is the Time of Our Great Undoing
“Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?” Jesper whispers, more to distract Inej from what’s on the screen than anything else, but still—the idea won’t leave Kaz alone.
5.8k | modern AU | Kaz[/&]Jesper, part of a polycule
content note: despite the premise this is about cuddling, gambling addiction and existing during climate change
It starts the way most things used to start: with all of them piled onto ancient couches on the fifth floor of an otherwise empty building on the edge of Amsterdam, also called the Slat. These days, it’s harder and harder to get everyone together. Nina and Matthias are both in Rotterdam now, doing associate degrees that Kaz doesn’t care about. Wylan’s got room and board and a plan for the future and a social worker, and she already disapproves of Jesper as a bad influence so it’s not worth it, generally, for Wylan to come back to his old squat and hang out with the whole gang of ex- and current reprobates.
And Inej—fuck, Kaz wishes she was just a little less righteous, less concerned with how the world’s going to shit. She’s faced off against more cops now than he has, probably. Water cannons and charging horses and riot shields. She knows criminals all over the country, Europe, probably the world—but they’re the kind of criminals with morals and worthless targets, with bandanas and badly sewn patches, who will talk about Federici and sea levels and the Invisible Committee and use value if you don’t leave quickly enough. The kind that live on trees, as Inej’s going to do in a few days. The kind that don’t make any money. The kind that have even less of a chance of making it out of a job alive and free than Kaz does—and with the enemies she’s talking about, politicians, banks, Shell, he doesn’t even know if he’ll be able to extort her out of jail next time.
For now, though, they’re all together in the big room, watching some ancient movie on the massive 8k screen with mood lighting, etc, the works, that’s in the Slat courtesy of some MediaMarkt manager desperate enough to save her marriage to bribe Kaz into silence, but not so desperate she wouldn’t fuck two other women in the breakroom.
It’s impossible to know whose fault it is that they’re currently watching Pulp Fiction.
Kaz is inclined to blame Jesper, because most things are his fault in some way or another, and he’s supplying the login data for an old uni flatmate’s streaming accounts, which is where they found that film, front and centre, paid to rent until tomorrow. Who even pays for films? If that’s the calibre of people they send to university these days, it’s no wonder the planet’s going to the dogs. Jesper, though, swears he wanted to watch some goofy horror flick, so he’s splitting the blame with Nina and Matthias: Matthias, for growing up in a cult and having never heard of what’s apparently a film classic and mentioning that to Nina, who of course cooed over her boyfriend and insisted on it, even though actually none of them have watched it before either so it’s not like it’s an important cinematic milestone. Or just not b horror, crime, some weird arthouse thing with complicated morality… It’s weird and has crime but there is nothing to figure out, so Kaz is bored. It’s Inej’s fault, because instead of vetoing it she said yes, just because she has a heart-shaped soft spot for Nina. Wylan could have done his oh I’m still an innocent barely-two-years not a minor this looks bloody thing, and Kaz might not even have mocked him this time if he'd insisted on Jesper’s pick instead just so he could hide in Jesper’s arms for the most minor decapitations.
Jesper’s been talking through the whole film. Kaz got used to that a long time ago: the landing and failing of small non-sequitur jokes like rain against the window, whispered to Wylan who’s cuddled into his side on the left, or to Inej who’s burrowing under Jesper’s outstretched right arm. Sometimes Jesper thinks a quip will land better with Nina, so he shouts it over to the futon where she and Matthias are always just shy of engaging in heavy petting, and the really mean and bleak jokes he saves for when he’s made eye contact with Kaz.
Now, though: in this scene Mr Motorcycle and the gang boss are captured in a pawnshop and dragged into the basement, and Gang Boss gets raped. Inej’s hand is white-knuckled on Jesper’s arm, and Jesper’s talking non-stop. He’s talking about the flooding, and asking whether Inej thinks Doggerland will happen again but here, soon, you can never know when the scientists are so wrong about the speed of climate change, and apparently it all flooded in a day because something broke off Norway, and then he abruptly pivots to some demo where he bashed in a shop window and got new shoes, and then if she’s got dates for more street fights because then he’s in but please, don’t trick me into another book club, I don’t care about why the cops are bad I already know I just want to hit them—not topics Kaz would have chosen, exactly, but he’s rooted in his red leather armchair off to the side, not even able to hold her for comfort, not like Jes does now, and why didn’t they think to look up the content beforehand, why did they assume it was tame just because it’s an old film—and then, long after it’s over, Jesper idly asks, “Do you think Kaz could fuck someone in a full-body bondage suit?”
Wylan groans. Kaz wishes a sound existed that could express his own current emotion.
“You saw the guy, right?” Jesper turns over to Wylan, while still stroking Inej’s hair. “There was no skin on him. All leather. And that’s the trigger, so—might solve all our problems. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before!”
“I don’t see a huge difference,” Nina snipes. “Kaz is already in all-black, with gloves. Though I guess, that hood would hide his atrocious haircut…”
“Stop being so mean to Kaz, Jesper,” Matthias mumbles. “Although he does deserve it.”
Kaz downs his entire glass of vodka. When he tops his drink up for the second time—he exed the first refill right in the kitchen—he brings the bottle and some maracuja juice over and refills Jesper’s, too, because Jesper’s been anxiously glancing over at him, every moment he thinks Kaz has turned his head away, since he shot his stupid mouth off and actually, it’s—Kaz isn’t thinking about it now but it just might—maybe it could work—well, he fills up the glass to stop Jesper from worrying himself into yet another mental crisis and also so he can bend over Jesper’s ear and whisper lovingly, “I’m going to make the leather for the suit out of your skin.”
“We should look for an Ed Gein film next!” Jesper laughs, much more brightly than the joke warrants, and Kaz refuses to interpret the look on his face.
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By the time Kaz gets back to the Slat, on a day roughly three months later, it’s long past two in the morning. He’s in a foul mood: of course Haskell won’t even reimburse him for the taxi he had to take because he missed the last metro. Of course he just told Kaz to take a night bus. Haskell won’t even apologize for the last minute details he wants included in his casino’s tax returns. The old man’s not even mentally capable of understanding the extra work he caused. Yes, Kaz is good at filing taxes creatively, exactly tailored for the business to pay nothing whatsoever and meticulous enough to never arouse any suspicion, but that takes work. Things have to balance. Haskell thinks Kaz just has to press a button, and that he’s paying Kaz so he doesn’t have to press the button himself, and that it’s only worth it because he doesn’t want to sully his mind with ‘the Spreadsheet Program’. Which is also why he’s loaning Kaz out to a friend of his, which he just remembered to mention today, for that guy’s mattress store slash money laundering business, so that’s even more work for nowhere near enough money.
Sometimes, Kaz amuses himself with the idea of sneaking in small ‘mistakes’. Enough for even the stupidest tax official to unravel the whole sordid scheme and land Haskell in prison for tax fraud, whereupon he’ll also be discovered to be involved with drug smuggling, blackmail, murder, … none of which will ever trace back to Kaz. But the one time he was livid enough to try, nothing happened. He’ll never manage to plunge the true depths of stupidity of an average bureaucrat, apparently, and is thus doomed to failure.
And anyway, it’s good regular money for little work. Usually. He can’t really complain. Especially not to his friends, because three are going legit, Inej will just rant about the uselessness of defrauding the Belastingdienst for a few measly million euros a year when the world’s being set on fire every day, and Jesper’ll tell him to quit, again, because they live in a squat after all. It’s not like they’re paying rent. Jesper’s never heard of forethought, or gratitude. He doesn’t know how many of his bills Kaz has paid off.
Kaz’s leg aches after the climb to the third story. Two more to go. As usual, right at this point he remembers the joke Jesper made eight months ago about fooling someone into installing a stair lift, and as usual, he dismisses it in disgust after two more steps. Stomps harder on the next flight of stairs, with grim satisfaction at the shooting pains in his knee. He doesn’t need help. He doesn’t need to move to a house with a working lift, and he doesn’t need a stair lift, either. Fuck you, Jesper. I’m the actual functional adult with a job in this household. I don’t need a stair lift.
That’s what he would throw at Jesper’s head, but it’s nearly three o’clock, and Jesper’s probably out. Over at Wylan’s, if he knows what’s good for him, but given how evasive he’s been all week, how manic… Inej’s still camping high up in some forest to save the frogs or something, but no news there is supposed to be good news. If the cops had chucked her off a tree house, it would have been on tv. About everything else, he can worry after he’s slept.
He doesn’t bother with the lights in his room. The streetlight coming in through his open curtains is more than enough, and anyway, he found the empty tenement he turned into the Slat five years ago, fully moved down here three years ago when he met Jesper, and he knows every single thing in his room by heart. The antique dresser he made Jesper and Matthias carry up with the threat of cutting off a finger for every scratch it received is next to the door, the place where he leaves his gloves and wallet and phone and cane. The coat rack beside it, where the hangers for his suit are, then the hamper, and at the foot of his bed the long black linen nightgown that Jesper’s never, ever allowed to see, and—
There’s a black shape on top of his bedcovers, Kaz realizes when he’s pulled on his nightgown.
Kaz takes his cane back. He hasn’t made any new enemies recently as far as he’s aware—none who know his name—but he was careless, brutal, desperate when he was a lone kid getting by on the streets, and those victims had gangs, families, business partners. Just because no-one’s ever traced little Kazzie the bastard rabid dog back to the Slat-that-wasn’t-then doesn’t mean a thing. The fact that the friends he started collecting press-ganged him into doing more behind-the-scenes embezzlement and fewer turf wars because ‘they’re watching us, they have all our faces and fingers and DNA on file and cameras everywhere and did you hear about that informer having kids with the activist he spied on?’ or the more pragmatic, ‘If you don’t stop fucking up your leg on purpose I’m going to send you to a kink party you fucking masochist’…
None of it means safety, not really, and Kaz is glad he’s alone now. They’ve all moved on, and even Jes… well, if he’d been here tonight then the whole squat would be trashed because Jesper doesn’t come quietly. And now, if he comes back to find Kaz gone or his throat slit… Jesper’s going to fucking collapse. He’s been one phone call away from going hysteric all week. Who knows, though—he has Wylan now, and maybe it’ll be the push he needed, the path none of them could ever find, to get his life back on a solid track.
All of that is presupposing that Kaz loses, of course.
And he does not intend to.
The weird black ninja on Kaz’ bed hasn’t reacted yet. They’re curled into a foetal position and they’re snuffling, quietly, because they’re asleep.
Not even assassins dressed up as b movie henchmen expect the toll taken by Per Haskell’s technical naïveté and utter disrespect for Kaz’ work-life balance, apparently. He got back home so late he missed his own murder. Well, then. Kaz hasn’t tortured anyone in two years and he may be out of practice, but the films he’s been forced to watch in the meantime have, if anything, made him more creative. He’ll teach them not to underestimate the brutality of Kaz Brekker, even when he’s moved up a few rungs in the ladder of Amsterdam’s underworld and landed a desk job.
He’ll—but Kaz hasn’t had to stalk silently towards his prey in two years, either. He’s underestimated the extent to which his lame leg’s gotten worse.
Also, someone’s pulled a box out from under his bed.
Kaz stumbles, and in the split-second before he catches himself on the edge of the mattress he wonders—will they have a gun? I can still bash them in the head before they fire, I haven’t gone that soft—and then the would-be assassin stretches out their lanky body as they wake up.
With their arms raised over their head, Kaz can see the bright white light of the street lanterns outside reflect off the gleaming black PVC fabric they’re wearing. Sleek and skin-tight, no ornamentation except a few steel buttons glinting at the crotch, and a full-cover leather hood over their face adorned with one-euro-sized rivets at the jaw, the forehead, the bridge of the nose, the large buckle around the neck. More buckles, at the back of the head and hanging off the right side at eye-height. The open silver zipper at the mouth reflects the streetlight, too, as does the padlock that hangs off it.
Oh no. Kaz knows that mask. Not even shoving it all the way back to the furthest corner under his bed allowed him to forget the way it looks.
Oh no.
Jesper yawns loudly. “Morning, boss. Evening. One of those. I thought you were finishing work early?”
“Haskell had some last-minute revisions to his tax returns.” Kaz sighs. “Don’t cook tomorrow. I’ll be out late for the whole next week—don’t expect me before three am. New client. I need to create a whole year’s documentations from scratch.”
“Just fuck him over, boss. He doesn’t appreciate you, and you don’t need the money. We live in a fucking squat.”
Sweet, financially illiterate nuisance Jesper, who probably doesn’t even know what that awful mistake he’s dressed in right now cost. The thing he’s dressed in. Which was hidden under Kaz’ bed. In Kaz’ room. Which they are inside right now. “You broke into my room,” Kaz rasps. “Again.”
“You know, Kaz,” Jesper replies with poorly feigned innocence, ”this thing is a little big for you. Fits me pretty well, though.”
“I told you I don’t keep cash under my bed. I told you that, the last time you tried to steal from me to pay off your gambling debts. I like my room organized as it is, and so I don’t keep any money here. Not under the bed, not in the wardrobe. And you won’t find any of my actual caches, because I’m smarter than you.”
“You’ve lied to me before.”
“You’ve stolen from me before. Remember last year? Remember you made Inej cry? I though you were clean. I thought you promised Wylan, when you asked him out, that you were done gambling. Maybe we all had too much trust in you.”
Jesper pulls his PVC-clad shoulders up to his en-leathered ears: a ridiculous sight, and Kaz doesn’t know what’s worse. That a bondage sex slave could actually look this dejected and humiliated and alone, or that Jesper does. He’s almost ready to call off the assault. It took a while to figure out, but as usual Inej was probably right, because she’s been researching and discussing the mental health industrial complex in general, and the traumatizing nature of modern life, with her comrades. Even though Kaz is neither the kind of person to touch people with kid gloves, and nor does he like thinking of Jesper as someone who needs that kind of handling—when Jesper’s in a shame spiral this deep then any criticism will drive him even deeper into the arms of the next casino. So the adrenaline and dopamine can wipe out everything else, or to feed his self-loathing even more by being exactly the person he’s terrified people think he is—Jes couldn’t quite explain it himself during the Intervention, except that everything is too much sometimes, even more too much and faster than usual.
He’s a pitiful creature. Kaz almost has pity. Then, though—
“It’s not working, boss. I know why you’re reminding me I fucking relapsed, again, and tried to steal from my best friend, again, and that I’m going to beg you to lie to Wy, again, but I still haven’t forgotten I’m wearing a bondage suit that you’ve been keeping under your bed for—two months now, is it?”
It’s just one month, actually. The manufacture and shipping took six whole weeks.
Two can play that game. Kaz might be very slightly embarrassed, but Jesper’s relapsed into the combination of addiction, theft and deceit that destroyed his life three years ago, and nearly did so again, two-and-a-half years ago and one year ago. “Careful. I haven’t even yet agreed to lie to Wylan, Jesper. About your problem. That you promised you’d tell him about.”
“Also, I notice it fits me, not Inej. Not Nina. Not Matthias. Not even Haskell, I bet. Me. Almost like it was made for me.”
Kaz ignores his insinuations. The answer’s obvious, anyway: yes, he did take clothes from the main washing pile in Jesper’s room and measured them. Yes, he used the measurements when he ordered a bondage suit. Yes, that’s creepy. Yes, a decent person would have asked. No, he’s not sorry. Jesper knew who Kaz was when he moved in with him. And it’s not like Kaz is the one who’s really at fault here. If Jesper just stopped gambling, he’d never have found out.
“Even attempted theft is illegal, Jesper. Completed robbery is worse. I cover my tracks, but you… you should be careful what you say now. They’re still looking for whoever robbed that jeweller last year.”
“Inej’s gonna cut off your head if you try. It’s like you never read her hoodies. All cats are beautiful, et cetera, Kaz. Thirteen-twelve. Keep up.”
Sometimes, the only thing that keeps Kaz from tossing Jesper out of the Slat is that Inej hates landlords and landlord-adjacents just as much as the pigs. If only he’d known back when he let the drunk penniless fancy uni boy who jumped into a fight to defend Kaz from some thugs—a fight Kaz would have won regardless—if only he’d known, before he let Jesper crash on his floor for a night or two, where all of this would end. “I’ll never mention anything about tonight again if you don’t either. Forget it. It was a bad idea. A failed plan. That’s all.”
“Without even trying it?”
“I will zip your mouth shut,” Kaz rasps. “I’ll lock it. I’ll throw the key into the harbour. Fuck you.”
Jesper, though, somehow got even mouthier when he put the bondage suit on. Less respectful. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “Come on, Kaz,” he wheedles. “I put it on, right? So I’m fine with it, if you’re worried. Aren’t you curious? If our places had been reversed—well, if you’d found it in my room you’d have murdered me, so we’re not exactly identical, but still. Come on, sit down next to me. This is—PVC right? Good job choosing me. Inej would hate it. So much plastic.”
“It’s less like skin than leather.”
“Not complaining, Kaz. I have some juice with a straw over there to keep me hydrated in case I sweat like a pig, but I haven’t, yet. I can probably camp out in this for a few more hours.” He tries a patented Jesper I’m flirting in an over the top way to make you laugh which is my flirting style for when I’m genuinely worried about the reaction because this way I can pass off exasperation and mockery as the response I intended look, probably with fluttering eyes, but since Kaz can barely make them out through those open zippers and the rest of his face is a complete mystery, it falls flat. It looks ridiculous, though, so it also works, and Jesper has the nerve of complaining about Kaz’ eight-dimensional chess plans. He’s worse. He’s worse, and animated by Jesper’s ridiculous, familiar movements the bondage suit doesn’t look like a pathetic attempt anymore. Not like the desperation of an emotional cripple. It just looks like Jesper, with an extra layer on his skin. Jesper, probably making a duckface, purring, “Don’t you think I’m sexy?”
Kaz looks away. “Are you serious right now?”
“Of course,” Jesper replies instantly, as if there was never any reason to doubt him. As if he doesn’t blame Kaz for doubting, simultaneously. As if Kaz is allowed to try. To fail. To fuck up, risk hurting him. There is a reason why Kaz never even considered someone else for the suit. “Come on, get on the bed.”
“We have to talk with Inej first. And with Wylan.”
“One-track mind,” Jesper replies, and just like that Kaz is ready to murder him again. “We’re not fucking. We’re not doing more than normal, except maybe touch. We don’t even know yet whether this helps you. I’m not risking it. We’ll just try touching, and if you think it’s triggering, we stop. We’ve got all the time in the world to work up to more. Until this city sinks into the ocean and the grid collapses from heat, which might be tomorrow, so. Or the fascists win.”
“You’ve been listening to Inej.”
“I do try to keep up.”
“Well, stop. Or listen more carefully, until the end, when she gets to the doomerism is the opiate of the masses part.”
“Just get on the bed, Kaz.”
Kaz puts his bent good knee onto the mattress and pulls himself over to Jesper. The fabric of his linen smock rubs against his heated skin: not like corpses, not like that, not like Jordie and he won’t even think about him or this will be over but—it just feels like his own familiar coarse age-softened nightgown that Jesper hasn’t even made fun of yet, his thin nightgown that in a second will be one of only two layers between him and Jesper.
He rolls over so he can sit down next to Jesper, at first. Daringly, he leans an arm against his best—well, they’ll figure that out later.
“Okay?” Jesper asks. He has to crane his head a lot to look through the thin eye slits of his bondage mask at Kaz’ face, and even then he’s probably mostly seeing the gleaming teeth of the eyehole zippers. And still he leans forward forty-five degrees and twists his torso and neck so he can look up into Kaz’ face, carefully keeping the arm that’s touching Kaz as motionless as possible, because he’s being careful with Kaz. Kaz has told him a thousand times he hates being coddled. He’s not a poor little abused dog, he’s a vicious murderer who destroyed his leg and his ability to be close to people while he was murdering, that’s all he ever told Jesper. That lie. And yet—even if he’s only fooling himself because this scene is so patently ridiculous, and the psych ward he got sent to once for the crime of rough sleeping while underage would stamp every single thing about what they’re doing as deeply unhealthy, and he can’t see Jesper’s soft concerned expression under the hood… Whatever it is, Kaz feels warm all over. He feels good. Safe.
Jesper can tell, apparently. “Want to touch my chest? Or climb into my lap?”
Kaz moves over, carefully smoothing down his nightgown before he sits down on Jesper, angled so he can lean with his left arm pressed against Jesper’s chest. It’s safer, somehow, than giving him the back, but perhaps someday…
Jesper loosely wraps his arms around Kaz. They’re just there, barely touching, the hands lax on top of Kaz’ right knee. You can leave at any time, they say, I’ll let go as soon as you’re uncomfortable, and Kaz would have known that regardless. Jesper’s never usually this still, unless he’s lost in concentration: and Kaz, who’s seen how gambling can destroy someone’s life, how it is currently destroying someone’s life, would still bet everything he has ever owned that Jesper’s concentrating on every single aspect of Kaz’ body language right now.
It’s not necessary, though. Those hands are gleaming black PVC. They don’t look or feel anything like Kaz’ memories.
He drops his own naked right hand onto Jesper’s gloved one. Joins them. Anchors Jesper. “How much do you owe this time, Jes?”
A beat. Jesper’s face drops down towards Kaz’ lap. Trying to hide his shame, and he’s forgotten that he’s wearing a full bondage mask, that Kaz can barely make out his eyes through the slits of the zippers. If he’s trying to deny everything, Kaz will just beat it out of him. He’s done it before. A year ago, when it was bad, but Jesper promised he got it under control. But Jesper’s promises were never worth much, not for this. If they were, they’d never have met.
“Four grand.”
“To?”
“Tom Geels. One of Big Bol’s old friends—”
“So he put you up to—”
“I was already playing when he walked up to me, Kaz,” Jesper grinds out. Aware that he could save himself from at least a little of Kaz’ disappointment by casting Bollinger as the tempter. Simultaneously aware that Kaz promised to feed Bollinger to a marine propeller last year if he ever took Jesper gambling again. Noble, to try and save Bollinger’s life—or to save Kaz from committing another murder—not that either of them deserves his loyalty. “I’ll pay you back, Kaz. I’ll have the money. Give me—give me half a year, Da’s still sending me—sending me rent money, Christ, he’s—I’ll save it. No, you’ll get it straight as soon as I get it, and in six months, you’re paid back in full. I promise.”
“We’ll figure it out. I have some jobs I could use you on. Nothing big. Intimidation, mostly. Some breaking, some entering. Boring stuff, not even worth mentioning to Wylan I should think.”
“Thank you.” Jesper’s forgotten all his restraint. He’s kissing Kaz’ forehead, or rather kissing the inside of his mask that’s pressed against Kaz’ forehead. He’s wrapped Kaz tightly in his long bondage arms too, painfully twisting Kaz’ shoulder and elbow and wrist because Kaz is still holding onto his hand. It’s that welcome pain, and the texture of the bondage suit that Kaz still isn’t completely used to, that keeps him from breaking Jesper’s nose. Keeps him—he isn’t back in the North Sea. He isn’t with Jordie. He should be, but he isn’t, and even if it comes…
Inej taught him about grounding. None of them trust the system as far as they can throw it, so she didn’t send him to a shrink when they started dating, unlike he feared, but—she said they helped her, those grounding exercises she found on the internet, and so Kaz has been diligently practicing breathing techniques and focusing his awareness on details of the present moment. Five things he can see: well, it’s dark, but the way what little streetlight gets through reflects off the folds of the suit on Jesper’s bowed stomach is quite interesting. His own knees. His hand, still clutching Jesper’s. The cane, on the floor. The floor. Five things he can hear: early morning traffic, Jesper’s breath, Jesper trying not to sob out loud in relief or shame or a mixture of both, the rustling of fabric, the squeaking of fabric. Five things he can feel: The old ache of his leg, always. Jesper’s hand. Jesper’s thighs. The hard buttons at the flap over Jesper’s crotch, digging into his side.
Somehow, Jesper’s noticed his shift in focus. At least he’s stopped crying now. “You know, you could have just asked how big I am if you wanted a suit with a dick pouch,” he teases in a voice that almost manages to sound happy. “I wouldn’t even have been suspicious.”
“Just because you have no boundaries, Jes, doesn’t mean I have to sink down to meet you at your level.”
Jesper takes a big breath. To forestall the whole Who bought this bondage suit argument Kaz elbows him in the stomach, hard. Once Jesper’s done coughing—a wriggling movement against Kaz’ side that he’s never even felt before—he mumbles something else, though. “I texted Da my new number. He called last week. Wanted to know how I was doing,” and oh. That makes sense. That’s what did it. “Apparently I’m graduating in seven months, according to that fake schedule you made me so I could keep my lies straight. He wants to come to the graduation. He asked me whether I have a job lined up.”
“I could hire somebody to fake you a degree,” Kaz offers. This should be Inej’s job. She shouldn’t be off somewhere, saving grasshoppers. She should be here. She’s the one who tried to talk Jesper into coming clean to his father, last year. All Kaz knows, all he has ever done, is to keep digging, and it’s worked for him. So far. “It’s all the rage now I hear. Cheap, too. No-one will find out. Just don’t become a politician in Germany.”
Jesper sighs. The air kisses the back of Kaz’ neck. “I don’t even care anymore. I could have a degree, or not, it all doesn’t matter. Universities are a scam to regulate economic class relations anyway. I don’t know that I can keep lying forever, or get a job, just so I don’t have to tell Da I betrayed him. Because nothing matters anyway. We’re collectively throwing the future down the drain. It’s not like anyone needs another mechanical engineer when we hit four degrees. I don’t know what we need. I just know everything I know is pointless.”
“I’m sure Inej can hook you up, if you want to blow up a coal power plant.”
“But what about you, then? What would you do?”
“I could have you kidnapped,” Kaz says. That’s not what Jesper meant. Kaz refuses to think about what Jesper meant. “Fake your death. Colm will be so relieved when they find you that he won’t even care you failed all your studies so you could become a live-in human blow-up doll.”
“That’ll only keep Da happy for a year at most and you know it.”
“Well, then Colm’s just going to have to get used to it. Get used to you, like we did. Real, annoying, good-for-nothing directionless screw-up Jesper.”
Jesper rubs his leathered cheek against the crown of Kaz’ head. “Fuck you. Thanks.”
Kaz runs his fingers over the squeaky PVC on Jesper’s forearms, steeling himself before he whispers idly against Jesper’s neck, “If Inej’s right about the warming and the sea level over the next decades, it won’t just be refugees from the south we’re letting drown, people it’s easy to lock out. Maybe you’re right about the Doggerland thing, and we all get flooded.” He swallows. The words are high up in his throat, trying to spew out. “Then it won’t just be one stupid child with a stupid family going out boating in the North Sea when there’s a storm coming. Not just that one kid thrown out of a sinking boat nearly drowning and clinging to his brother’s corpse. Your blow-up doll skills will be in high demand if everyone else gets triggered by skin contact too.”
Jesper, miraculously, reveals a talent Kaz didn’t even know he possessed: he shuts up. He ghosts his gloved hands over Kaz’ shoulders, and then he starts carding his fingers through Kaz’ hair. Kaz can feel the static electricity building up, the crackles and the safety, and then he realizes his eyes have drifted shut. He realizes he doesn’t know how long Jesper’s been petting him.
“Take off your hood,” he mumbles.
“Kaz?”
“Take it off. Scuttle over so your head’s on the pillow.”
Jesper obeys, like Kaz always knew he would. He looks up at Kaz with something that might be confusion but might also be—trust and deep joy and more, something Kaz can’t quite admit anymore now he’s in his bed, and Kaz puts his head down on his chest. His legs will still fit, and this way, he has the squeaky PVC right where he needs it. Squeaky, rhythmically rising warm dry plastic under him. The exact opposite of a waterlogged corpse.
“I don’t have time to call you an ambulance when you get into a bondage suit erotic asphyxiation incident, just so you know. I have a full schedule for today, remember. I’ll be at Haskell’s until after midnight. I have to break Bollinger’s thumbs. My alarm is at seven. Turn it off and I’ll send you to Colm in bite-sized pieces,” Kaz rasps, and then, with a movement that no-one would call timid if they wanted to keep their tongue attached, wraps his arms around Jesper. “You’ve kept me awake for two hours, so be a good pillow. If I kick you off the bed while I’m dozing, remember. This is your fault.”
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King Falls AM Episode Twenty: Referencing Aladdin Don’t Make It Right
King Falls AM Transcript
Episode 20: Referencing Aladdin Don’t Make It Right
Run time: 22:17
First Aired: Feb 15, 2016
Summary: Sammy & Ben get a quick update on the little ones off Route 72 and learn live on-air that not everyone had a great evening on the night of the Valentine’s Day Dance.
(For a list of characters and references from this episode see the end of this post)
[King Falls AM theme plays]
Troy: Hey folks, if you or anyone you know has any information on these hybrid werewolf slash human baby thingamagigs-
Sammy Stevens: Is that a technical term, Troy?
Ben Arnold: Can you please let Troy finish, Sammy, this is important!
Troy: Heh, thanks, little buddy.
Ben: Go on, Troy.
Troy: Well if you see those little beasts or have information on them you just got to let us know. Don’t harbor them, they could have the rabies and or the colic. And please don’t try to adopt while it’s in its human form, cause that ain’t gonna end up well. Just use your common sense and be safe.
Sammy: Thanks for calling in officially with police business and alerting the public to the issue.
Ben: Yeah, nice hearing from you on the job, Troy.
Troy: Whilst I’m still on official police biz, I’d like to make one more little statement if I could, fellas.
Ben: Dude, of course! The floor is yours!
Troy: Well the sheriff is a real foul mood regarding these hybrid wolf babies and what have you just running amok, and he wants to make it completely, perfectly, crystal clear that if anyone should have these animals or any other illegal animals in the city limits of King Falls, they will be apprehended and exterminated on site with extreme force of malice. King Falls is a zero tolerance town for any illegal animals of any kind, up to and including wolf-human hybrids.
Ben: So… uh (clears throat) you’re saying that anyone listening that may have access to a cute and cuddly but illegal animal should do… what?
Troy: Now I’m not talking to no one in particular, I mean this isn’t a warning, it’s just a fact. Sheriff Gunderson is making it a personal project to bring down any and all animals that shouldn’t be in town.
Sammy: But cats are fine, is that right, Troy?
Troy: No doubt about that. Ain’t nobody gonna get any cats while I’m patrolling the streets, friends.
Sammy: There you have it, folks. If you or anyone you know has any information on the werewolf puppies last heard from around Route 72 or any other illegal animals not allowed in the city, please contact the sheriff’s department at once.
Ben: (sounding strained) Thanks for the info, Troy.
Troy: All you listeners, you stay safe out there, alright?
Sammy: Thanks, Troy. We’ll talk to you soon, sir.
Troy: Roger that, Sammy.
[The sound of a phone hanging up]
Ben: (clearing throat) Well… that’s good information there, huh?
Sammy: Are you okay, Ben?
Ben: Yeah! You know, I’m just… I’m not a fan of the idea that Gunderson is sending out gangs of thugs to dispatch animals, man! Aren’t there real issues for law enforcement in this town? Last week, I saw old lady Turner jaywalking in front of the grocery store.
Sammy: So you’d rather Gunderson take down the organized jaywalking underbelly of King Falls?
Ben: No, I actually helped her cross the street, but the point is that this werewolf issue seems like an animal control issue! Let Ralf Harkins take care of this! Why are the police even involved, man?
Sammy: Your guess is as good as mine. Moving forward-
Ben: Yeah! Yeah, uh, moving forward we’ve got about thirty minutes of open calls lined up before acclaimed ebook author Kirk Sycamore- don’t judge this, Sammy- will be joining us to talk about his new book Dead Tom Turkey: The Perils of Uncooked Poultry.
Sammy: I’m sorry, what now?
Ben: I mean… it’s a thing. Undercooked anything can’t be good, right?
Sammy: I would assume, but seemingly that one sentence just covered everything you need to know. Cook it longer.
Ben: Then it might get dry. I don’t know man! Don’t look at me like that! Merv emailed and asked to book this guy. His book topped Beauregard’s King of King Falls, it’s got to be worth something, right?
Sammy: The perils of uncooked poultry.
Ben: In thirty minutes.
Sammy: I don’t know if I can hold this excitement in for thirty minutes, Ben. You must be bursting at the seams! Surely you’ve waited your entire journalistic career to talk about under-broiled birds.
Ben: Uh, if it makes this any better, apparently this is a novel, not an instructional guide.
Sammy: (outraged) That actually makes it worse! This is a fictional piece of work?!
Ben: Merv emailed this to us, Sammy.
Sammy: Listeners, please immediately stop what you’ve got going on and mark this down: I’m going to do my damndest to get you the info on Merv’s book of the month club. I’m on your side and I am fighting for you.
Ben: Merv, if you are listening, I do not need to be cc-ed on the email you are penning.
Sammy: (laughs) You heard it folks, that’s coming up quickly, but until then we are taking your calls, King Falls. What would you like to talk about this evening, Ben?
Ben: Whatever’s clever.
Sammy: Talking about whatever’s on your minds before what is sure to be a Pulitzer winning interview.
Ben: It’ll be good- you’re making fun- but it’ll be good.
Sammy: How could it not be? You heard our story, King Falls, now let’s hear yours.
Ben: Give us a call at the station- 424-279-3858, or hit us up at the tweet machine!
Sammy: That’s @ kingfallsam and @ kingfallssammy respectively. Line seven you are on the air with King Falls AM.
Pete Meyers: You’re saying to yourself: I don’t think Pete Meyers would listen to a show of this terrible quality, as handsome and as smart as he is. He’s probably watching Big Bang Theory or something.
Sammy: That is exactly what I was thinking, Pete.
Ben: Word for word, almost.
Pete: Look, I don’t like talking to the two of you either.
Ben: Yet you continue to call! And listen! And show up at events!
Pete: Ben if you don’t drop a little bass out of your voice I will roundhouse you right in the gullet the next time I see you. You hear me? I will skullf-(beep) your mom.
Ben: So now you’re threatening me? Do you hear this Sammy?
Sammy: (annoyed) Just hang up.
Pete: (stammering) Whoa, wait, wait, alright? You know, I’m sorry. I’m a little emotional right now… I would never intentionally try to scuff up my lugs on your face, Ben. I apologize.
Sammy: I don’t think that-
Ben: What’s the matter? Got a vampire not appreciating the hedge art you’ve been clipping into the bushes?
Pete: Well it’s kind of about him- did you say vampire?
Ben: (triumphantly) Knew it! Man, just fess up and tell everyone that your boss is a vamp!
Pete: Ben Arnold, I just bought domain to your name. And you know what? I’m going to fill up all the pages with babies and donkeys. What’s the world going to think of you? Some weirdo guy, making an internet site about babies and donkeys? Yeah, that’s right-
Ben: (all riled up) Oh yeah? Ooooooh, Pete! Why don’t you come down here, look me in the eyes, when you’re saying this huh? Huh?!
Sammy: Guys.
Ben: Meanie!
Sammy: Guys! That’s enough. Pete, state your problem or move along.
Pete: Alright, fine. I messed up big time. Worse than the time I dressed up as Edward Scissorhands for Halloween and ruined Mr. B’s hedges. Apparently I pushed a button or didn’t-really-push-a-button on a fancy thing… that’s beside the point. What I really want to know is- did you guys hear something funny on your station a week or two back?
Ben: Um, um, I’m hearing something stupid right now but I don’t know if that’s-
Pete: Come on, Ben! Be serious. I take you seriously- I almost respect you! Now, I heard a little something like maybe you guys got hijacked or something like that and I just wanted to know… you know, what’s up.
Ben: This again?
Sammy: Wait, Ben, we’ve heard this a few times actually. The shotgun guy said it, we’ve had a number of tweets about it. We don’t know anything about this but apparently another feed cut into ours about a month or so ago.
Pete: Oh sh-(beep).
Ben: Watch your language, Pete.
Pete: Watch your… face, Ben.
Ben: Wait, what the hell are you and Beauregard up to?
Pete: None of your damn business.
Beauregard: (from the background of Pete’s call) Yard boy, what are you doing in this chamber without supervision?
Pete: Uhhhhhhh what? Uh, Mr. B, uh nothing!
Beauregard: Don’t act like an ignoramus around the transmorgrifier.
[There are metallic clanks and scrapes in the background and the sound of metal pipes moving around. A whirring humming sound begins like a machine turning on which grows steadily louder]
Sammy: What the hell is going on over there? Pete?
Pete: You made me mess up again you butt smackers.
Beauregard: Don’t just stand there all slack-jawed and drooling. Turn it off this instant. Celestia!
[The whirring cuts off and there is the sound of a call ending]
Ben: What the hell?
Sammy: Well, folks, this is a first for me that I believe an on air failed attempted felony will lead us right into break.
[Cheerful music starts as a commercial begins]
Ernie: Hey there! Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books ain’t your normal bookshop. Maybe you’re asking yourself: Ernie, whatever do you mean? What I mean is that Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books is more than just a hipster reading book nook. We don’t carry none of those cheap-ass paperback books or harlequin novels here, plus you sure as hell ain’t gonna find nothing to read on your I-pad kindle whositswhatsits. For what I understand it’s only first edition leather bound books and (???) up in this joint. Maybe you’re thinking you need to gussy up your place to impress some broad or you have a real need to make people think you got a bigger vocabulary than some Johnny come lately. Either way, Ernie’s got you covered. That’s a book joke! Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books- we got fancy books! F-(beep) you, pay me.
[King Falls AM rock music plays then fades out as the commercial break ends]
Sammy: Ernie Salsado’s leather bound books? There’s two of these stores here? I’ve never even heard of one of them until Rich McGuff! I don’t know what’s more surprising, Ernie’s entrepreneurial rise in the community or him almost making me forget what happened before the break…
Ben: I’m literally afraid to comment one way or another on this.
Sammy: (amused) He is an intimidating specimen.
Ben: (carefully and slowly) If he… likes to hear that, then, yes, you are right. If not, please don’t slander that gigantic human!
Sammy: Ha, no slander intended. We’re taking calls and counting down the seconds before we get a riveting interview with the man who some call the Dan Brown of bird related mysteries.
Ben: Wow, they say that?
Sammy: No, they don’t! (laughs) The phone lines are still lit up, let’s take some calls.
Ben: Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.
Greg Frickard: (smugly) Well look who decided to pick up the phone.
Ben: (quickly) Um, let’s take another-
Greg: Hey, Sammy! I’ve got a topic of discussion. Let’s talk about how that co-host of yours is just gonna sit there all quiet and not even mention the fiasco he caused earlier this week at Granny Frickards!
Sammy: Greg? Is everything okay?
Greg: Oh, it’s not okay, Sammy. That- pardon my French- moron, that he would even-
[the sound of a call ending]
Ben: Whoops!
Sammy: Ha!
Ben: Line five you are on with Sammy and Ben!
Sammy: Wow, it looks like you learned a thing or two from Chet, I see.
Ben: Don’t know what you’re talking about!
Caller: Hello?
Sammy: So what happened at Frickard’s?
Caller: Are you talking to me?
Ben: Nothing happened to… let’s just-
Sammy: Not only are you my broadcast partner, I thought we were friends!
Ben: Hey! We are friends! I just didn’t think to tell you that I happened to have dinner at Frickard’s earlier in the week.
Caller: Hellooo?
Sammy: Uh huh. This wouldn’t happen to be the same night Emily was on a business meeting with Greg, would it?
Ben: I really don’t recall but it might have been… that’s a good question.
Sammy: You don’t recall going to your least favorite restaurant in town, which you never eat at, on the night of the King Falls Valentines Day Dance where your main squeeze-
Ben: Watch it.
Sammy: Where the girl you pine for-
Ben: Watch it!
Sammy: Where Emily Potter-
Ben: Thanks.
Sammy: Happened to be roped into a business meeting with Greg Frickard.
Ben: My mortal enemy.
Sammy: Paid sponsor of King Falls AM.
Ben: Whatever.
Sammy: You don’t recall if that’s the night you dined at Granny Frickard’s?
Ben: Ehhhh it’s not really ringing any bells!
Sammy: Maybe we should call Emily.
Ben: Don’t do that!
Sammy: Things coming back to you now?
Ben: Did- ugh… can I fill you in at break and not on the air?
Sammy: You’d better! You know, I’m a little sore that you didn’t tell me to begin with! And this was days ago!
Ben: I’m sorry, man, it’s just it’s not the best story. Believe me.
Caller: Hello? Can we talk now?
Sammy and Ben: No!
[The sound of a call ending]
Sammy: The turkey guy is not sounding so bad right now.
Ben: Ha, why don’t we try… lucky line one, you’re on King Falls AM.
Greg: Hey Ben Arrrnold! Why don’t you tell the whole friggin town about you showing your butt and ruining my business meeting with Emily Potter!
Ben: Greg, I really don’t wanna get into this.
Greg: Ohh, you can’t talk in front of Sammy and the whole town- what’s the matter? Frog got your tongue?
Ben: That's not a saying.
Greg: You sure didn’t have a problem causing a ruckus at the restaurant! In front of Granny no less!
Ben: Can we take another call, Sammy?
Sammy: Is this true, Ben?
Greg: You can’t deny it, Ben Arnold! I’ve got it on camera from multiple angles! You are a heathen.
Ben: Why do you have me making a scene on camera?
Sammy: Multiple angles?
Greg: I’d like to say it’s just the security cameras… but, if you must know, I hid a few cameras around the Froggery for my big night.
Sammy: You call a business meeting your big night?
Greg: With Emily Potter I absolutely do! She is the most beautiful creature in King Falls!
Ben: So you admit that it was a date?
Greg: It was a business meeting with a gorgeous woman! Take it as you will!
Ben: You’re so creepy! God!
Greg: Oh, so it’s creepy. Wanting your gramma and your future children to see the moment their future mother and I fell in love? Recorded for prosperity forever. Probably. Classily edited to voice a man and everything.
Ben: Yeah! It’s creepy!
Greg: (singing) I’ll make love to you! Like you want me to, oh baby hold me tight I will love you all through the night…
Sammy: That is really creepy, Greg.
Greg: You’re just a heathen. You don’t know what love is. What do you know? Tell them what you did, Ben!
Ben: I’m not getting into this on the air, Greg. Let’s just-
Greg: I am a paying sponsor of this show, Ben Arnold! Fess up, right now!
Ben: What are you gonna do, Greg?
Greg: So help me I’m gonna ask Granny- real nice- to pull your sponsorship money!
Sammy: Greg... are you crying?
Greg: (in a high pitched voice) No...
Ben: Hmm, so you’re threatening the show over a personal issue?
Sammy: Greg, we appreciate what you and Granny do for the show and the station-
Greg: I’m glad to see one of you does.
Sammy: But I’m not about to let you threaten taking money away from the station to pressure Ben into talking about something he doesn’t want to. Do what you got to do.
Greg: Ha! Don’t think that I won’t wake up Granny right now!
Ben: You want to talk about this on air, Frickard?
Greg: Tell the people what you did. Just tell them!
Ben: Ugh, okay. So, I made a reservation for myself at the King Falls best f-(beep)-ing Froggery the same night as your video taped date with Emily.
Greg: Keep going.
Ben: Jack-In-The-Box-Jesus, this is ridiculous. Sammy, I made a reservation and I made a scene! The end.
Greg: Details, heathen!
Sammy: Details would be nice here, Ben.
Ben: So, uh, (clears throat) I got there right as Emily was sitting down.
Greg: At a table right next to ours! He requested it!
Ben: That is also true.
Sammy: Ah.
Ben: And that’s that! I watched Greg lose his mind. Nature took its course.
Greg: He ordered every single flambé frog special on the menu.
Ben: Yeah? So?
Greg: Everybody who’s anybody knows that that’s the most romantic frog dish in the world! And you cleaned us out!
Ben: So what? You don’t need romance on a business meeting!
Greg: You ordered twenty of those things just for you!
Ben: And I paid for twenty! What’s your point?
Greg: My point? You didn’t even eat them! You brought in Chipotle!
Ben: Yeah, man! Cause frogs are gross!
Greg: You… you’re gross!
Ben: Oh yeah?
Greg: Yeah. You’re gross! A gross heathen and I… I hate you! I hate you! Ha! I said it. I hate you.
Sammy: Guys…
Ben: I’ll do you one better- I never liked you to begin with. You creep me out.
Sammy: Ben…
Greg: Well, heh, that’s not what your mom says.
Ben: Don’t you bring my mom into this.
Greg: Your mother things I am a fine, upstanding, entrepreneur, and model citizen!
Ben: She’s an idiot then! Sorry mom.
Greg: Heathen!
Sammy: Guys! (Clears throat) Okay so you disturbed Greg’s meeting with Emily. You ordered food you didn’t eat. I-is that it?
Ben: Basically! He lost it because I was probably in the shot of his candid camera date!
Greg: I lost my temper, but you had it coming! You get Emily whenever you want and I schedule months in advance!
Ben: Yeah, and you did it during the Valentine's Day Dance. Just real messed up, man. You’re a stalker.
Greg: Who showed up at whose date, Ben?
Ben: I was just having dinner at my favorite sponsor’s restaurant.
Greg: You don’t even like frogs!
Ben: Nobody does!
Greg: Why don’t you tell them how you got escorted off the premises?
Ben: You just did, idiot!
Sammy: If you were just eating, or not eating as the case may be, how did they have the grounds to toss you out of Granny Frickard’s?
Ben: Ugh. I- I may have started throwing tiny hush puppies in Greg’s general direction.
Greg: You, you, you may have? Pah-lease! You were pretending to be Nolan Ryan while you’re lobbing them at my head.
Ben: You had no right to kiss Emily’s hand!
Greg: Well you wouldn’t have even known if you weren’t, you know, stalking us to begin with!
Ben: Yeah? Well, uh, stay away from Emily!
Greg: Well I won’t have a problem doing that since she hates us both.
Sammy: I’m sorry, what’s that, Greg?
Ben: Can we move on… please.
Greg: Emily left in a huff and said she wasn’t a prize to be won. Totally thought she was roleplaying and I called her princess Jasmine… Which she also didn’t appreciate…
Ben: Nice touch, dumbass. Referencing Aladdin don’t make it right.
Greg: It’s kind of ludicrous when you think about it. I mean, she is a prize to be one. She’s the trophiest of trophy wives to ever be trophy won!
Ben: She’s pretty mad, Sammy.
Sammy: It sounds like she kinda should be…
Ben: She probably hates me now, man. Stupid stunt…
Sammy: I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, Ben.
Greg: Oh yeah, she hates him big time. I mean, she hates us both, but it’s basically a win for me. She was only lukewarm to my intentions but she can’t stand Ben now. She’ll eventually come back around to the Frog Prince if, uh, he’s out of the picture.
Ben: Greg.
Greg: I’ll take your apology on air, Ben. But I would also like it written on a nice piece of cardstock so I can show it to Granny.
Ben: I sincerely hope that you catch a frog-based STD and die.
Greg: And I hope that you find another perfect woman to fall head over heels in love with, Ben, because you just struck out. You stuck out big time.
Ben: You’re an imbecile! Nobody likes eating frogs! It’s 2016, Greg! You’re gross!
Greg: Ha! Shows what you know. Some cultures consider frogs the poultry of the pond.
Ben: Literally no cultures say that!
Greg: Oh yeah? Well ask Kirk Sycamore when he comes on, he’ll show you.
Ben: I’m not asking anybody anything.
Sammy: Greg, I think it’s best if we part ways for the night.
Greg: Fine! No skin off my bubble butt! Later haters!
[The sound of a phone hanging up]
Sammy: I think-
Ben: Can we just go to commercial, Sammy? I just- I can’t right now.
Sammy: D-do you want to? Is that on schedule?
Ben: No! And, no… Ugh, just take a couple more calls before the bird man pops in.
Sammy: Lucky line one you’re live on-
Caller: Hi, Sammy. Hi, Ben…
Sammy: Good evening, Emily. I assume you’ve been listening.
Emily. I’ve been listening.
Sammy: You know what, let me put you on hold so you can talk to Ben off the air.
Emily: No! I’d like to talk to Ben on the air, if you don’t mind, Sammy.
Sammy: You know, I uh… Ben?
Ben: Uh, whatever you want, Emily.
Emily: Okay, you know I don’t hate you, Ben. Far, far from it.
Ben: I’m so sorry Emily. I just, I lost it sitting there, thinking that you were all alone with that creep and-
Emily: You acted like a real ass.
Ben: I know I did!
Emily: I’m not a child, Ben. When I told you that I would love to go to the dance with you, that was the truth. But when I also told you that I was a woman of my word and was going to honor my prior engagements, as stupid and contrived as they were, I meant that too.
Ben: I just-
Emily: You acted like an ass!
Ben: I know, but-
Emily: There’s no explanation that will make this better, Ben! You acted like a jealous boyfriend and I’m not sure if you know this, but you aren’t my boyfriend.
Ben: Can I just say-
Emily: Even if I wanted you to be before, you aren’t. So you have no right to act like this!
Ben: (Pausing) You wanted me to be your boyfriend?
Emily: Before the incident there was no doubt about it.
Ben: After?
Emily: I- I- uh- I can’t let my feelings override the fact that you treated me like a kid, Ben. I am a grown woman! I am a professional woman. I don’t need some white knight to save me from the likes of Greg! And while I appreciate the idea behind it, like I said to you and I said to Greg, I am a person! I have feelings! I’m not a prize to be won!
Ben: I really messed this up, I’m… I’m sorry. Emily if you’ll just-
Emily: I just- I need some time to evaluate what the next step is.
Ben: Because you hate me.
Emily: No! Bec- because I lo- I strongly strongly like, probably definitely on the verge of more. I mean, I was scared to death that you were hurt or worse during Lincoln’s revenge! But I was scared even more when I saw you acting like a high school bully during that meeting.
Ben: You strongly strongly like me?
Emily: I do. But it’s, it’s gonna be a little bit before I can trust you to be okay with that.
Ben: I understand.
Emily: But I… I wasn’t going to let another minute go by of you think that I hated you. Cause I don’t. But you really need to fix this.
Ben: And I will. I- I promise.
Emily: I hope so. (pause) Ah, goodnight, Sammy. Ben.
Sammy: Goodnight, Emily. We will talk soon.
Emily: I’m sure of it. Ah, I actually wanted to talk to you about being one of the library’s spring break speakers soon. I’ll send you an email.
Sammy: Oh, please do. Anything to get the kids back in the library after, you know, Lincoln’s revenge…
Emily: Thanks, Sammy. Goodnight, guys.
Ben: Hey- hey, Emily?
[The sound of a phone hanging up with a beeping that slowly fades out. The King Falls outro music and credits begin.]
References:
Nolan Ryan: a baseball pitcher.
The Big Bang Theory: A television show.
Edward Scissorhands: a charactor from an old fantasy movie by the same name about a man who had scissors for hands.
Harlequin novels: a trashy romance story.
Characters:
Sammy Stevens, Ben Arnold, Troy, Greg Frickard, Emily Potter, Pete Meyers, Beauregard, Ernie Salsado.
#king falls am#king falls am podcast#podcast#podcast transcript#transcript#king falls am transcript#king falls transcript#king falls podcast
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Criminal In My Mind: Chapter 10
Warning: nudity; foul language; slight violence
Pairing: Choi Minho x Reader
Word count: 1.7k
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction made for personal entertainment of readers. The writer does not ever intend to offend her readers nor does she aim to spread false information about anyone as to pay any disrespect to the real-life persons whom the characters are based on. She also does not claim ownership to any of the images that are being used.
masterlist
Chapter 9
MINHO
With the sunlight touching my eyelids warm, I wake up feeling Y/n’s breath on my skin and her hand resting on my chest. I move closer to her side while she is still fast asleep. I stare at her glowing skin for a moment, letting it sink in that something finally happened between us. And it was fucking incredible.
She looks so calm now, her lips curved up a little, but maybe that’s just my imagination reflecting from what I’m feeling right now. She’s now different from how she was when she was sleeping in the car last night having a nightmare. She is so beautiful that I could stay like this all day. I try to keep myself from touching her face. When I almost do, she slowly lifts up her eyelids and closes them back down again.
She smiles once she sees me looking at her. “Hi,” she says very softly, cupping my cheek with her delicate fingers. “I can’t believe I’m waking up next to you.”
I kiss her on her forehead. “You have no idea how happy you make me.”
“You amaze me.” Her eyes are still closed, trying to adjust to the brightness of the morning sun entering through the window.
I just stare at her, shaking my head in disbelief. If only I could elaborate how much she means to me.
She just laughs. So adorably I have to kiss her again and again. “Come on, let’s make some breakfast.”
I take off the sheets covering me and get up from the bed to look for my underwear around the room.
Good thing my classes don’t start till this afternoon. Do you have to work today?” I talk to her while walking across the bedroom, bending over to pick my clothes up piece by piece. When I don’t hear a response, I turn around and catch Y/n already sitting up with her head tilted and her eyes in my direction, but lower, seeming dazed. “Y/n?”
She shakes her head back to reality. “Sorry?”
I approach her again to kiss her on the lips then head out of the room to the kitchen and put some pants on.
. . .
I’m now back at my apartment hours later to take a shower and get ready for class. I have three two-hour classes today so it’s going to be a long afternoon. I had to get home a little earlier so I can stop by the library later to advance study since I was too busy being mind blown last night.
I glance at the mirror one last time to check my decency and take the apartment keys. Just as I'm about to walk to the front door, I hear somebody knock.
I open it and there is a familiar face.
“Min Hyunjae,” I mumble. My eyes widen in surprise.
“Have you been well, Choi Minho?”
I stare at him, not knowing how to react or what to say.
“You may be wondering how I got here. Or how I survived the explosion,” he starts, coming in and walking around the room uninvited. “I would’ve talked to you at the party when Dr. L/n introduced us, but I didn’t wanna ruin your moment with your girlfriend.”
“Hyunjae, I-”
“Save it!” he suddenly yells, making me flinch. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through? Huh?”
I’m still confused. I have so many questions, but I don’t know where to begin.
“I was in the hospital for almost two years. In a coma for one and another for treatment and recovery,” he tells me coldly. “But not a single visit from you.”
“Hyunjae, I had no-”
“I said fucking save it, pretty boy! If you had no idea, why didn’t you even try to find me?” his voice weakens as tears start to form in his eyes. “If I meant so much to you...”
I stay silent. My heart feels for him as guilt builds up in my gut. I had no idea he was alive. I saw him being dragged by that man. For all I know they had killed him like what they did to my brother. And the building exploded. There’s no way somebody could have survived that.
“After my recovery, I looked for you everywhere. I went to your orphanage and looked up your records of where you might have been,” he continues, wiping away his tears. “I had guys looking for you in years and years…” he then approaches me and looks me in the eyes. “I thought that you might be dead, but I never gave up on you. I even decided to forgive you for not coming back for me and rather saved that stupid girl,” he grabs me by the collar of my jacket, hands trembling with rage, but calms down immediately. “You were all I had. I made it my remaining life’s mission to find you.” He turns away from me, walking to my kitchen counter.
I start to tear up as well. I should have looked for him. I should’ve never given up on him. Back then, all I wanted was to move on and live a new life. A better life. It never occurred to me that something from that past of mine still exists. I thought it was all over.
“Until…” He stops, making my heart sink. “...two years ago, I finally found you.” He turns to face me again. “After finding out that you’re perfectly fine, you’re perfectly happy without me, you’re...” he starts trembling again. “...perfect. It’s difficult to be happy for you. After all that I’ve been through, I thought that if I finally found you, all is fine and all is worth it and that we’ll be together again and start over.” He forms his fist, trying not to burst.
“Of course we can start over. It’s not too late,” I say, walking towards him to hug him, but before I know it, he throws his fist at my face, making me bleed and fall to the floor. His impact was so strong and unexpected, I almost lost consciousness.
“My doctors said I was lucky since nobody else survived. But you know what? Maybe it’s better if I didn’t.”
Before I attempt to get up and talk some sense into him, he’s already out the door. I touch my lip and see blood on my finger.
. . .
It’s now the next thirty hours and I had a long day, with a full shift at the café and those two-hour classes this afternoon. I’m exhausted. And my jaw still hurts from yesterday.
I decided to go see my mom in her office since I don’t have to see Y/n until later tonight after her shift at the flower shop.
Carrying five large boxes of pizza and a small one, I now enter my mom’s company building through the revolving doors and hop on an elevator to her floor. It’s been a while since I’ve been here and worked as one of Mom’s associate’s assistants. Even though I worked here for two years before, I still couldn’t understand what this company does. Nobody knew that I was the CEO’s son till I resigned and it was fun watching their reactions when they found out.
Employees bow to me as hellos while I pass by the halls. I find my old boss’s conference room and knock at his door. I open it to see him talking in front of his team then pauses once he sees me.
“Oh, you’re here!” he greets me as a big grin forms on his face. “Come in. Uh, everyone, this is the CEO’s son Mr. Choi Minho and my former assistant.” Another series of formal hellos follows.
“Please, I was just another employee. I hope you’re all doing well. Sorry for interrupting. I just stopped by to give you guys these,” I say as I put down two of the pizza boxes on their long table. “Keep up the good work, guys!”
After a series of formal ‘thank you’s, I step out of the room and walk to my mom’s department and also hand the groups of staff the large pizzas left on my hand.
When I reach my mom’s office, I open it very slightly to see if it’s okay to come in. She sees me as soon as I pop my head in, “Oh, hey, come on in. My secretary already told me you’re coming and handing out free pizzas.”
“Of course I got one for you too,” I tell her as I place the small box of pizza on her desk.”
She glares at me. “The small one? You got me the small one,” her tone sounds grouchy.
“What? Last time I checked you were watching over your weight,” I say in a defensive tone.
She laughs. “Alright, alright. Aren’t you gonna eat?” she asks me.
“I’m eating with Y/n later,” I inform her, feeling my face turning red.
“Ooh, is tonight the night?” she teases.
“Actually the night already happened.”
“What?” she screams, with her mouth smothered by a big bite of pizza.
“Yeah, we went to her parents’ house. That’s why I needed the car.”
“Forget about that. It’s yours if you want. Then, what happened?”
I carry on telling her all about the night at Y/n’s mom’s birthday party, how I met her friends, her parents, and how incredible of a woman she is. I then mention Min Hyunjae since she’s the only one who knows everything about me yet.
“Well, honey, I’m sure he’ll come around and to his senses. It’s not like it’s your fault. Don’t blame yourself, okay?”
I give her a sad smile.
Sometimes, I forget that I’m talking to my mom but rather a friend since I can automatically tell her everything, even my sex life, which is weird for a lot of people. But hey, most of them think we’re already weird as mother and son. I don’t care what they think. I’m just glad I have someone like her in my life.
An hour has passed after talking about her work and my studies. I now have to go and go pick up Y/n and I can’t be more excited.
“Have fun,” my mom says to me with an almost squeaky voice while I walk towards the door.
“Will do,” I smile at her.
“Wear protection!” I hear her say after I shut the door behind me.
I just laugh and carry on walking. Even though she’s like my best friend, she doesn’t forget to be a mom.
Chapter 11
#ktm cimm#ktm cimm c10#shinee fanfic#shinee#shinee fiction#minho smut#shinee minho smut#choi minho x reader#shinee fanfiction#choi minho smut#shinee smut#shinee fluff#minho x reader
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Sports HCs - BoRhap Boys
A/N: I just suffered a disappointing af loss at a sporting event today. Come talk to me about it if you want. Otherwise, enjoy what I think the boys are like while watching sports.
Disclaimer: these are taken from the fictional versions of the boys in my head.
Warnings: cursing and mention of adult activities. The author also has a very limited knowledge of rugby and soccer, but a lot of history with basketball and baseball. If I messed up majorly, let me know!
Rami
Really only watches basketball
He stays reserved while watching in public
Cameras are everywhere anytime you go out
Watching at home is a different story
He is loud and passionate
He calls fouls before the refs do. It's like a super power or something.
There's finally a game that you're dying to watch.
Your alma mater has made it to the Sweet Sixteen for the first time in over 30 years.
He offers to take you in person, but work has you too tied up to get there.
So you watch from home, which is dangerous.
You are loud the whole game.
Rami is in shock.
You, his normally reserved and polite SO has lost their mind over a college basketball game.
Of course, he cheers with you. Spotting all the fouls as usual and being more upset than you are at the blatant favoritism against your team.
2 players fouled out. Two.
“This is such bullshit. I can't believe - are you BLIND, MAN? HOW WAS THAT A FOUL?”
Your team ended up losing by 4 points thanks to some dumb ass call in the last two minutes of play.
But Rami getting your mind off the game after was almost worth the loss.
Ben
Ben watches football.
Sometimes you call it soccer to drive him crazy.
He is invested in every match you watch for the entire match
It's almost like a religious experience
He goes back and forth between intense concentration and yelling
The concentration comes during the long runs where there's no scoring or even a hope of scoring
The yelling happens when his teams GK misses a save or a stupid foul is called
It happens a lot, but it never lasts long
You don't really love football like he does
But you watch it with him no matter what
The trade off was watching house hunters with you no matter what
When the World Cup comes around, your flat becomes football central, luckily it's only once every four years
He's only ever seen you get into one game
The women's Olympic finals in 2016
It blew his mind to watch you get so absorbed.
You had been cheering for Sweden. You had no idea why, he had no idea why, but here you were.
He spent a lot of the game filling in the details you didn't know and helping you yell at the refs.
You took the loss strangely hard for someone that was indifferent hours before the match started.
Ben made sure to put all your leftover energy to good use.
Gwilym
Gwilym watches rugby
You both cheer for Wales, but occasionally, you cheer for the other team to get a rise out of him.
It works. Every time.
There's nothing about the sport that's boring.
You actually love watching with him
You haven't learned all the rules, but he doesn't mind explaining.
This is not a sport that you have to maintain composure while watching, so neither of you does.
At home, you worry that someone may mistake your cheering for death screeches
But no one has called the cops on you yet.
They may have called the complex management, but that was easy enough trouble to get out of.
The last game you watched, in person no less, is definitely your favorite to date.
You and Gwilym may have had too much fun
You definitely yelled until you both went hoarse
Wales defeated Ireland won the Grand Slam
After running the streets for a bit after the match, you felt like you still had fire burning through your veins
Gwilym made sure to put it out ;)
Joe
Joe watches a lot of sports, but your favorite is baseball.
He is a Yankees fan.
So much that you're positive that you wouldn't be together if your team happened to be the Red Sox
They're not. But neither are the Yankees.
Watching games at home can be intense.
You've made a pact that you can't actively cheer against the other's team unless your teams are playing each other
Which happens a lot because they're in the same league
So anytime you have the ability, you go out to the games
The last game that your teams played against each other with any real consequences was postseason of 2017
You weren't sure your relationship would make it out of that postseason, honestly.
You're both passionate people and words were said about players on either team.
So you made a wager, a bench bet if you will, about the outcome of the series.
You won, just like your team did.
Joe was a little sour over it. The loss didn't leave the best taste in his mouth.
But the photos of him during the Fall Classic are treasures to you and he is not allowed near them. Ever.
Your team actually ended up winning the World Series that year. That may have pissed Joe off a bit.
But you took advantage of that energy and the high running through your own veins to have the time of your life with the love of your life.
Tag List: @rogers-wristbands @deakydeckme @gwilym-may
#rami malek#rami malek hcs#Ben hardy#ben hardy hcs#gwilym lee#gwilym lee hcs#joe mazzello#joe mazzello hcs#i would love to watch all of these sports with them#joe and i at a baseball game would be a mess#t writes#borhap hcs
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Jon Snow Part 2
Jon’s POV
Getting farther, and farther away from Winterfell, my heart felt empty. Part of me longed so badly to just… Be with her. I fought the urge to turn around, run back, take her with me, her be my lady… Just myself, and Jewel against Westeros. The days getting to the wall, all that was on my mind was that kiss.
I laid on the hard, cold ground, feeling Ghosts heavy breathing next to me, staring at the sky, feeling comforted that she as well, was underneath this darkness with me, and it helped me to feel… Closer to her. I prayed to the Gods, that she was thinking of me too, and in that moment, I would imagine laying with her. Her soft skin, brushing against me. Her long, dark hair, in my face. Was giving up everything to be a man of The Nightwatch, really worth giving my love away? I hated thinking about that… Questioning myself… I,,,, Perhaps should not have told her anything about how I felt, because now I would be left to ponder on… What if, for the rest of my days.
Jewel’s POV
Things began to change so drastically, everyone except for myself, Theon, Bran, Rickon, and Robb. Robb being left as Lord of Winterfell in Ed’s absence. It was such an usual relief to not have Lady Catelyn around to torment me,she left on suspicion that the Lannisters had been the ones to have something with Bran being thrown from a window, then trying to have him killed, feeling the most at ease that I ever had in that moment that she stated she was going to meet Eddard in King’s Landing.
A wildling that was forced to be imprisoned at the castle, named Osha had become my friend, often coming up to see me, and braiding my hair, while Theon was determined to bed her, her constant rejection would always set him off, and make him angry. Especially when she refused to call address him as a lord. Theon revolted me in more ways than one could count, which was another frustration of his, he was awful to Jon and I, our whole childhood.
However, Theon would go balistic, if we did not allow him to needlessly bully us, which further proved just how sick for control he was . I also had Hodor, a simple, but sweet man who only said one thing "Hodor," which he had always lived in Winterfell. Eddard had told me, that one day, he fell to the ground, and never got back up the same.
Things took a horrible turn, when we got word that Eddard had been publicly executed for treason. I felt as though my heart had stopped beating in my chest, the world around me becoming much colder, the only man I knew as my father had been murdered at the hands of people who were meant to be his allies, my hands shook, and my stomach felt weak. I remembering vomiting, using a wall to keep from falling down, nothing would warrant the murder of such a kind, generous, and loving man. Robb and Theon had decided that it was time to raise war, leaving Bran the Lord of Winterfell in his place, leaving Winterfell vulnerable.
“Ohsa,” I spoke, the room dimly lit by a candle, as she braided my hair. “Are you afraid?” I said quietly. She stopped what she was doing for a brief moment, and sighed “My lady, there are things out there to fear than men. Winter is coming, we should be going South,” She said, continuing to braid my hair. “You really… Saw them… The white walkers?” I asked, worried in the sure answer she may give me, hoping she had gone mad, and these were only stories. “My lady, I wish I was lyin’.” I grew quiet, not sure what to believe, after all these years of being told that white walkers were a thing of fiction, and just scary stories maids told to children, to keep them from running off. I hugged my knees, free enveloping me. Monsters in the North, evil people who wanted to slay house Stark everywhere else. It was only a matter of time, before one of them would strike first. It had now been years since I last seen, or heard from Jon, wishing so much I could embrace him. That next day after Osha confirming, what she had seen was real, Theon had stormed Winterfell, taking hold of Bran, betraying the Starks, and Robb in the same breath. Shocked, all of us terrified of what was going on, Bran laid down his Lordship of Winterfell, naming Theon, the one who was in control of Winterfell, it was that easy for him. Theon looked for me, finding that I was in my room. He barged in, and smirked “I’m your Lord now, and as your Lord you must please me,” He said, walking towards me, I flinched as he grabbed my wrist. “All those years, of you kicking dirt in my fucking face, are going to feel like a mistake now, a female bastard, the most disgusting type of woman there is.No one will ever wed you, but I am willing to bring mercy to you, if you warm my bed, Snow.” He said grabbing onto my waist. I shoved him off me, and pulled away, his clench on my dress, tearing the back of it. He grabbed me again, this time taking a very, firm, grip of my hair. “You’ve always been such a fucking cunt,” He laughed, going to force a kiss onto me. That’s when I spat in his face, a huge mistake that I would soon regret, he nearly, immediately bashed my face into my bedside table. My nose stung, warm blood instantly running down my face and the back of my throat. The metallic taste, and smell, filling my mouth. My eyes watered, and I did my best not to start screaming, the pain so intense I could hardly stand it, but I refused to be weak, in front of him. He pulled me back by my hair to face him. Demanding I looked at him. My eyes, like daggers, stared up at his, my nose pulsating. He chuckled “I think I broke your nose, you stupid, little, whore,” He then spat into my face, and shoved me down onto the floor, I hit the ground with a loud thud, storming out of my room, he took one last look at me and scoffed, slamming the door behind him. I began to breath heavily, wanting to touch my nose, to feel if it had broken. My hands shook, hesitating, instinctively not wanting to feel it. I felt a numbness grow over the front of my face soon enough, and I gently began to feel around. I noticed then, that him slamming my face into the table also caused my teeth to go through most of my bottom lip, my lip starting to swell up. I immediately could tell, my nose was without a doubt, broken. The bridge of my nose, was now off center, and a large cut covered over it. I needed to find Maester Luwin. As I got to my feet, I heard yelling outside in the courtyard. I looked down from my window to see Ser Rodrik Cassel, confronting Theon, causing a quarrel between them. I could not make out what it was that they were saying, Theon then was able to get Ser Rodrik Cassel down on his knees, his men holding him there. My eyes widened as I realized what they were doing, my ears ringing. I looked around to see as well, that they were forcing Bran to watch as it happened “Oh, the Gods be merciful!” I cried out. Watching as Theon nervously looked around, and lifted his sword laying a botched attempt at a public execution, taking 3 hits to decapitate him.
I screamed loudly, never seeing something so horrible in my life, feeling myself go dizzy, I walked back until I was sitting on my bed. I held my left hand over my chest, my heart stammering. He had lost his fucking mind, and we needed to get out of here. Osha, opened my door and ran inside to see me. "My lady, he's locked Bran, Hodor, and Rickon in the dungeons!" She stammered, she took a good look at my face, staring at me for a moment “What ‘as he done to ya?!” She yelled, looking my face over. “I need to get Maester Luwin, he’s broken your nose, my lady,” She said, her voice panic stricken. I followed her, silently, traumatized from watching someone I knew from being a child, have his neck chopped through 3 times without truly decapitating him. "Maester Luwin!!" Yelled Osha, bringing me to him. He looked at me, his face struck with horror as he examined my face. "He's broken your nose, my lady," he said with concern in his voice. He handed me a bottle, and looked at me. "Drink this now, what we have to do, to get your nose back in place, will be nothing less than painful, my lady." I attempted to take one drink from the bottle, and a foul taste invaded my mouth, I spat it out instantly, all over the floor. The bitterness still on my tongue. They both looked at me, shocked. "My lady, I know it tastes terrible, but trust me when I say that you will thank me later." He said, encouraging me to drink more. I took a few huge drinks of it, trying to stop myself from gagging. "What is that?" I asked holding back vommiting. "Milk of the poppy my lady,". After an hour or so Maester Luwin had me bite down on a leather strip. Osha took my hand, as he sat me down on a chair, and cleaned off the blood around the wound, And my face. He pressed both his thumbs on the side my nose, and pushed the broken pieces back together in a quick motion. I screamed, the pain resurfacing, almost worse than when Theon smashed my face into the table, blood squirting out if my nose. "It's all over now, my lady. I straightened your nose and it looks as it did before, this cut though... it was from your bone cutting through. I must ensure it does not get the rot, because if it does, death is certain." He said calmly. He took another liquid, and poured it down on my wound, I bit down as hard as my jaw would allow on the leather strip, fearing I would break my jaw, or my teeth out, from the tension, the burning absolutely, fucking terrible, feeling like he had hypothetically lit my skin a blaze. "Okay, now that it has been cleaned, I need to sew the skin back together." He grabbed a needle that had been soaking in vinegar, and threaded it. He came up to me, and began to sew the two pieces of flesh that exposed my bone underneath, back together. This was the least painful part of all of it, surprising enough for me. Finally, it was done. He cleaned up my face a but more, then helped me get up. I felt the effects of the Milk of the Poppy really setting in, not feeling my face any longer, everything feeling warm, comforting. I looked at myself in a mirror, my lip swelled up so badly, I could hardly recognize myself. Then I paid attention to my eyes, purple, and black circles around them, on my nose, and under my eyes, which were also puffy. "Your eyes will stay black like that for a while, my lady, It's normal with a broken nose, go on and get some rest," I looked at him with a worried look "Thank you... Maester Luwin." I said with a sigh, as Osha went to walk back with me to my room. "We will find a way to fight this, I promise," he said to me as I grabbed onto the door knob. I turned around to Look at him, and smiled at him. "I pray to the Gods we do," we walked back to my room, it was dark now. Theon's men, scattered all over. "Just keep your eyes straight forward," She whispered, rushing to my room. We got inside, and shut the door behind us. Osha, putting a chair in front of it, as to make sure that no men could come in. "What are we to do?" I whispered. She thought, for a long time, looking down at the ground. I then saw her eyes, light up with an idea. "What is it?" I asked her, curious to know of what plan she had in mind. "I could fuck Theon, that horny piece of pig shit will do anything for a woman's cunt. As he sleeps, I can get the keys to the dungeons, grab Rickon, Bran, and Hodor, then we run away." She said with a smile. "Where will we go?" "South," She immediately responded. "What about to the wall, where Jon is. Or, where Robb is." She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "I will not go back there, I-I can't," "Osha, we need to find one of them, or lady, Catelyn, or-" "No!" She protested. "You don't understand, the things I have seen... I can't go back North..." I wish I could see into her mind for just... One moment. To see what it is that she saw. I could never truly understand her until then. I sighed deeply "Osha, I need to get those boys back to their mother, or one of their brothers. Going South means keeping a family apart," "It means to live, and no harm meant by this, my lady, but I thought you hated Lady Catelyn," I nodded "But I do not hate Bran, and Rickon. Both of them, deserve to be with their mother." She sat there for a long time, and looked away from me. "What if we help each other escape, Then we part ways... I got South, you go North." "But, Osha... You are my friend, what if I never see you again," I said, fighting back tears. "We will always be friends, my lady, but I... Can never return to the North. I would rather be dead." That statement made it all too real... She was set on her decision to go South, I could not convince her otherwise. We devised our plan, throughout the next few days, mapping out every careful step we took, to get this plan to work. I grew more, and more nervous as the time neared, praying it would work... That everything would be okay... Maybe I could even see Jon again...
#jon snow#jon snow fanfiction#game of thrones#game of thrones fanfiction#kit harrington#kit harington#kit harrington imagine#kit harington fanfic#got fanfiction#got7#fire and ice#osha#robb stark#rickon stark#bran stark#ser rodrik#maester luwin#hodor#winter is coming#winter is here
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Helpless (Part 2)
Pairing: Jerome X Reader X Barbara
Word Count: 2600
Warnings: possessive behavior is possessive.
-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3-
You knew Gotham had its underground world, you never imagined actually setting foot in it. The club he snuck you in was filled to the brim with bodies jumping and slamming into each other, low red lights mixed with quick flashes, the beat almost nonexistent under the mess of other instruments and the song being screamed out.
Jerome lead you to a thin but long hall guarded by a rather large man, his face stoic and thick. “Hey Ted-!” In a hard swing Jerome’s head snapped to the side. You waited stiffly, him rolling his jaw before coming back to the bouncer with a smile. “Good seeing you again too!”
“That’s a warning, you start the shit you did last time and I’ll beat you until Princess here has to take you to the hospital in a body bag.”
Glancing down at your glittery blue show dress you pulled the tux coat you stole from Jerome tighter, whispering what you wanted to mock, “Bit redundant.”
“Come on Teddy! I thought we were friends-” Ted hit him again in the same place and you worriedly brought yourself close to Jerome, keeping your voice as low as you could without being drowned out.
“I’m sure there are other places to go. You don’t have to-”
“Just let him get it out of his system.” Jerome waved, a spot of blood on the corner of his teeth as he rubbed his quickly darkening jaw. He huffed dramatically, but smiled, “Can I speak with Jeri now?”
Ted snorted, but stepped aside, Jerome grabbing your wrist and dragging you forward past him. As you walked down the hall together things got quieter and quieter until there was only a deep beat and for some reason the sound made your stomach turn, some primal feeling feeling you you shouldn’t be there. Coming to a door decorated much in the same manner as the rest of the club Jerome didn’t even knock before bursting in and throwing his arms wide. “Hey~ Jeri! Ya miss me!?”
The woman who was reapplying her harlequin-esc makeup halted before melting into a big excited smile. “You crazy son of a bitch!”
She jumped up and crashed into him, crushing each other in a bear hug that felt something like family. To your surprise she was a bit older than him, patting him hard on the back before breaking and shaking him up. “We’ve been watching everything! It’s been absolute chaos out there! Seriously kid this is magnum opus level hellish!”
Jerome swayed around like he was being bashful. “Oh you know~.... I could of killed more.”
“You haven’t heard?” She held all his attention while you looked concerned between the two, wonder what kind of world you were getting into. “People have been going nuts on the streets, random acts of violence has skyrocketed since your video in the police station, they’re painting your face on the gutter walls!”
“No!” He gaped excitedly.
“Yeah! We’re thinking of adding your face to our aesthetic, the ‘lose your mind’ aesthetic.” Jerome slapped his heart utterly flattered. “I know I know, just wait till you see the finished product.” Jerome tipped out of the way enough for Jeri to catch sight of you still by the door, “Well if it isn’t the hero of the hour!”
You wanted to make some stark about ‘hero’ not being the right word but thought better on it seeing as Jerome was right there. “That’s me.” You dipped meekly.
“I loved your work by the way.”
“My... work?”
“Killed twenty seven people in two months?” Your heart sank but she didn’t seem to see it, “And then you went off about how an evil twin did it!” Both her and Jerome laughed at such a ridiculous tale.
You despised the saying ‘truth was stranger than fiction’.
Feeling agitated, forgetting to manage yourself, you forced a cough and asked above their laughter, “Not to be rude, but we are kind of on the run. I’d hate for us to be the reason the police broke up the party.”
Jeri chuckled at that thought, “Oh it would be far from the first time. But you’re right, that is why your here isn’t?” She looked above her glasses at Jerome who played along by clapping his hands together and making a pleading face. She smiled and lightly punched his shoulder, “Oh you know you’ll always have a special place in my heart. I reserved just the spot the second I saw you parading around on the T.V.”
It was small, cracked, abused and crowded. The air was humid from being next to a boiler room but Jerome breathed it in, smiling, taking left over trinkets and tossing them with no care if they broke. It became apparent that while it was fully furnished, the reason no one was living in it was likely do to foul play as a large circle of rusted red sat alone in front of the television, a bullet hole in a poster next to it. You couldn’t stop staring at it, unmoving and holding yourself tight in the coat despite how warm it was.
“Is it the bean bag?” Your eyes jumped to Jerome and you glared at him as soon as you realized he was teasing you. “The lava lamp not doing it for ya?” He snickered, walking to you and unbuttoning his white dress shirt to breath a little easier in a white tank. “Oh come on~, you’ve seen plenty of blood. You can’t tell me a ketchup stain is really going to make ya squeamish.”
“It’s not just that.” You mumbled, picking up a lighter from a bowl of keys by the door. “It just feels like whoever lived here was so young, maybe our age...”
Jerome paused in shedding off his shirt, “Okay, just so we’re clear, it would have been totally fine to kill an old person instead.” You gave him a terse look making him laugh. Tossing the shirt he stepped forward, cradling your face with both hands, “What’s got you so wound up huh? We made it out alive because of you, you should be happy!”
You looked around the room, feeling a little hopeless. “How long are we going to have to do this? Even if Galavan backs down-”
“Galavan won’t. And the cops won’t. You’re really bad at this whole, realizing you’re a fugitive thing.”
“But I’m not-”
“They don’t care.” He chuckled, rubbing your cheeks. “You wouldn’t be here if a single person cared enough to listen to your defense and look into it. There isn’t anything you can do to change their minds now.” He pulled your glum teary eyes intimately close to him, “All you have is me now, and I’m here because I’m the only one who cares. Not even Barbara could stay with you if it meant a dusty bed.”
It didn’t make you feel better, the tears building up higher. The look didn’t bargain any sympathy, Jerome smiling and kissing your forehead. The affection eased you, giving this backwards sense of safety. He went to turn from you but you quickly grabbed his shirt by the stomach. Patiently he waited, you needily embracing him with your head against his chest. You felt him sigh before holding you back and lightly swaying to further soothe you, make you feel like you were with a normal person.
“I guess I’m just a bit scared. I don’t know whats going to happen to us.”
“I’ll take care of you, just like at Arkham, just like with Galavan.”
An ache surged through you and the tears welled up again, “Why?” Jerome tried to look down at you but you didn’t want to face him, holding him tight. You felt so stupid, playing into the pathetic pawn everyone saw you as and yet it felt good to know you would be praised for it. “Why protect me? I have to be more trouble than I’m worth.”
“Oh you are all kinds of trouble.” You looked up at him, Jerome still smiling but it took an oddly genuine edge, his features softening in a way you both hated and loved. He was lying now, but he was so beautiful when he did. “The second I saw you I just knew you’d be nothing but trouble. You know how I love trouble. We’re meant for each other. I know you can’t see it yet but I know it. You’re perfect, not for them, but for me. And we’ll find a way through this I promise.”
You forced yourself to smile, knowing he didn’t want out of this, that the only thing he saw in you was a perfect toy. Your hand came up on his bruised jaw, gulping to feel how hot the skin was under your fingers. “Doesn’t that hurt?”
“Not really.”
You were still feeling heavy-hearted but you smirked, teased him. “You ever try not pissing people off?”
He shrugged. “People punch me when I’m talkin’, they punch me when I’m not. Guess I just have one of those faces everyone likes to punch.”
The sympathy bubbled up on it’s own, conceding maybe the question was a bit insensitive given what you knew of his history. Trying to control the impulse you remembered Barbara and how she was always telling you to use your instinct, to stop suppressing it. Like you’d unlock some treasure of your true self by doing things without questioning them. That always sounded like a good way to be embarrassed at every turn but for a brief moment you thought to kiss Jerome’s bruise, and you couldn’t deny it curioused you how he’d react to that.
You slowly leaned into him. Jerome watched you, smiling more to feel the air thicken from your doing this time. As you tilted your head to kiss the heated wound, he turned his lips into you, the kiss falling almost naturally. For the first time you didn’t stiffen or hesitate, feeling the soft warmth drip down your spine and raise the hair on your neck. As gently as it started you drifted away, gulping hard at the surge of butterflies in your stomach as you lingered, a small request for him to make the next move.
But when he went to fall back into you you pulled away, bowing your head like you were feeling embarrassed, giving him a simple grin before whispering, “I should go change.”
Only once in the bathroom did you really smile and blush. Something about the whole interaction tickled you. How you initiated it, how you teased him, how he wanted more but didn’t force it like he usually did. Covering your titter by turning on the faucet, you wanted to tell Barbara. She would be so proud of you and you already missed her praise.
There were very few hours in the day Jerome slept, and you took every opportunity to enjoy a simple stress free moment, but not today. You found a measly stash of cash hiding between the mattress and set out, braving the outside of Galavan and every cop at his beck and call. But it was so early in the morning it was still dark, and life just hated this hour too much to be on the look out for someone dressed in clothes that clearly wasn’t their’s with a hat pulled low.
The gas station attendee was half asleep, not caring to even look at you as you paid for two cellphones. Glancing to the hanging television you gulped to see your own face, dropping and looking around anxiously.
As you walked out of the gas station, you spotted a pitch black car, sleek and new, far too expensive for this area of town. Taking a slow breath you walked to the very edge of the property, stopping right beside it and waited.
In a loud click the divers door swung open on the other side, Tabitha giving you an indifferent glance before rounding the vehicle. Leaning against it in front of you she crossed her arms and waited for you to explain yourself.
Instead you fished through your paper bag and handed her a phone. “Here.” Tabitha looked down at the cheap cell you presented, raising a brow to you. “So I can keep in contact with Barbara.”
Tabitha scoffed, “And what makes you think I’m going to deliver this for you and not just kill you right here, right now?”
You glanced around at the empty parking lot. “Because if you came to kill me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation?”
Tapping a finger on her arm, she shook her head and stood up. “If you’re going to be doing this than at least get her a good one.” Tabitha marched into the convenience store, you jogging to keep up and she bought two of the most expensive that she could find, tossing one at you and holding onto the other once you two got back outside.
You held onto it awkwardly, “I know you don’t care but, thank you for this.”
Tabitha leaned in close, her glare steep and making your skin cold, “The second she grows bored of you, or you break her heart, you’re done.”
You gave a weak smile as she turned around back to her car. “Thanks again Tabitha!” She didn’t so much as glance at you before speeding off.
A part of you ached to go with her, a little wish that you could have gone back to Barbara. She recognized your boundaries, knew when you needed space, let you roam and breathe more than Jerome did. Her jealousy and anger could be easier soothed with a sad face and a small play into her fantasy. If it wasn’t for her choice in company, you might have just gone with her last night.
Coming back to the room, Jerome scared the hell out of you by slamming both hands on the door and banging it shut. “Where did you go?” he asked unnervingly calm.
Without thinking you answered, “To get some phones.”
His eyes didn’t shift from you in the slightest. “Which one’s mine?”
You looked down in the paper bag, “Well, it was just for Barbara but-”
Tossing himself back, Jerome was smiling but his eyes were glaring. “Oh. I see. That’s just for Barbara.”
“I have two more!” It didn’t humor him any, turning his back to you and slamming on the ratted futon like a pouting child. Tossing the bag on the beat up coffee table in front of it you crouched down at his knee, the one stopping its bouncing as you put your hands on him.
“Oh come on...Darling.” His brow raised at the attempt even you felt awkward hearing, but he glanced at your hand that came to cover his fist, brushing your chest against him as you inched just a little closer. “I’m just trying to look out for us.” You rested your chin on his knee like a wounded puppy, “You know, Tabitha met me at the station...” He finally took back, his brow furrowing in thought. “The fact I was allowed to come back at all says a lot. Right now we need Barbara liking us, well, me, enough to keep them preoccupied. And she can’t keep liking us if we just disappear on her.”
He thought on it, his lips tense though they still tried to smile. Finally he huffed and uncurled his hand, interlacing yours, trailing his thumb along your little finger. “I suppose you’re right. Besides,” Jerome pulled your hand up him and over his shoulder, forcing you in his lap and close enough his nose brushed yours and growled, “You picked me.”
The kiss he gave you had a stronger bite than usual, and yet you stayed longer than usual.
#jerome valeska#barbara kean#jerome valeska imagine#barbara kean imagine#gotham#gotham imagine#jerome velaska x reader#barbara kean x reader#my stuff#Helpless#New Ability Unlocked: Manipulative Tease#goes to rewrite chapter so it's shorter#ends up longer
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My List of Favorite Horror Films
(Also reasons why I like them. Why? Because I’m FUCKING BORED AF)
1408 (2007)
- Okay, the reason I like this movie so much is a bit ridiculous-sounding. You know when you find a certain horror movie that just completely scares you and you can’t get it off your mind? Well, that’s what a certain movie did to me. I couldn’t get that movie out of my mind, so I decided to watch this to help. And I ended up thoroughly enjoying it. Good casting, good plot, good jump scares. A real head-trip of a film.
The Shining (1980)
- This one is pretty special because it’s the first horror film I watched unblocked (meaning not on Syfy channel or AMC where it’s censored). I didn’t find it extremely scary, just very unsettling. I mean, think about it. A family moving into a haunted hotel during the winter, the father descending into madness caused by a mix of cabin fever and ghost manipulation. If you’re used to outright scares, this would be child’s play for you. Creepy music, great script, awesome head-trips. Right up there with 1408.
Misery (1990)
- This is also high on the list due to the fact that it helped me learn how to type fast (I only use my middle fingers; Paul Sheldon only uses his index fingers). This film brings the term “fangirl” to a whole other level. You think Beliebers are crazy? You clearly haven’t met Annie Wilkes. Expert casting (Kathy Bates, James Caan, Lauren Bacall, etc.), unsettling forms of torture, and a good use of music from the one and only Liberace. Plus, some fun scenes to act out when I have nothing else to do.
Let the Right One In (2008)
- The main reason I love this film so much is because it’s a vampire love story done RIGHT. A Swedish film based on the novel of the same name, it follows a bullied boy as he befriends his vampire neighbor. Their friendship eventually blossoms into a romance (which is platonic, for the most part; something else I loved). Despite their cute relationship, it also has a good amount of gore and frightening scenes, something I love in horror films.
Let Me In (2010)
- This is basically the same as Let the Right One In, due to it being an American remake of the latter. Fortunately, unlike most American remakes, this is actually quite faithful to the source material while also adding in some new aspects that work with the setting. The cute relationship between the boy and the vampire, the gore and frightening scenes. Also great casting with actors such as Chloe Grace Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, and Richard Jenkins.
Saw (2004)
- Words can hardly express the love I have for this movie. Why do I love it so much? Think. What’s a main thing that happens in several horror films of the 21st century? Sex, sex, sex. Why I love this film so much is because it doesn’t have any subplots of sex scenes or sensual nudity (the burn victim doesn’t count in this scenario). It only focuses on the scare and gore factors. Not to mention a great plot twist at the end that could be seen as a metaphor for real-life.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
- This goes along with the same feeling as Saw. Although there are several scenes of graphic female nudity (only breasts), this film also doesn’t focus on sex. Gritty, violent, and over-the-top, this film is one of my favorites in the gore genre. The music fits well with the film’s theme (thank you, Rob Zombie), and the Firefly family is made up of violently-wacky characters, ranging from the sadistic Otis to the childishly-violent Baby to the foul-mouthed and psychopathic Captain Spaulding. Definitely worth watching if you don’t have a weak stomach.
Pet Sematary (1989)
- Another of my favorite Stephen King films. This film definitely exceeded my expectations. From the pet cemetery behind the Creeds’ home to the baby coming back as a murderous shadow of his former self. However, if there was one thing I didn’t like about this film, it would be my abhor toward Ellie Creed, Louis’ young daughter. Aside from her, the film had great jump scares, a fair amount of gore, some memorable quotes, good casting with actors such as Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby, and Fred Gwynn, and (again) NO SEX!
Creepshow (1982)
- This comedy-horror is an absolute delight to watch. Directed by George A. Romero and written by Stephen King, this horror anthology film is great for those who like horror comics. A slew of great actors (some favorites are Ted Danson, Ed Harris, Leslie Nielsen, Hal Holbrook, and Adrienne Barbeau), great special effects makeup, and a mix of laughs and scares. What more could you ask for?
The Mist (2007)
- Who doesn’t love a good monster movie? Based on the Stephen King novella and brought to the silver screen by Frank Darabont, it follows several people recovering from a hurricane, now trapped in a supermarket as a thick mist (which houses giant, man-eating monsters) settles over the town. But what makes this film great is the main focus being on the peoples’ descent into madness, brought forward by the preachings from religious zealot, Mrs. Carmody (played expertly by Marcia Gay Harden). Violence, human sacrifice, and a shocking and traumatic ending. This is a film you wouldn’t want to miss.
IT (1990 and 2017)
- Everyone loves clowns, right? Based on one of Stephen King’s longest novels, both the miniseries and the new film follow a group of children trying to face and defeat a shape-shifting child-murdering monster, which mostly takes the form of a clown. Everyone knows Tim Curry’s legendary portrayal as Pennywise the Dancing Clown, but Bill Skarsgård manages to create an almost-equally terrifying monster. Violence, great scares, and great castings in both. Though obviously not a film for everyone, anyone who can handle creepy clowns should see this.
Mama (2013)
- Sure, this film may have been seen as a bit overrated, but I thought this film was absolute genius. An illustrator and his musician girlfriend take in his nieces, who have been missing and reduced to a feral state after years of isolation from civilization. However, something has come with them and is intent on keeping the girls for herself. Having a few unintentional similarities to Corpse Bride (I talked with the director about it), and expert casting with actors such as Jessica Chastain and Javier Botet, this film has a great storyline, decent jump scares, and an ending that punches you in the gut with shock.
The Conjuring (2013)
- True stories help mold the best horror films. Based on one of real life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren’s most memorable cases, this film follows the Perron family as they experience horrifying paranormal phenomena in their new farmhouse. Great scares, awesome casting (Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, and Lili Taylor), and awesome storyline. What would you expect from James Wan (aka, the director of Saw)?
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
- A sequel to The Conjuring, and a damn good one to boot. Based on another of Ed and Lorraine Warren’s cases, this follows the Enfield Poltergeist where two sisters in Brimsdown, Enfield, England encountered a violent spirit that would speak through the younger one and would throw them (as well as other objects in the house) around. Adding a subplot of Lorraine’s faith being challenged by a demon disguised as a nun, the film, like its predecessor, has great jump scares and expert casting. I should also mention that I watched this while that movie was in my head again.
Annabelle (2014)
- Anyone who’s scared of those antique dolls should steer clear of this one. While the storyline is entirely fictional, the doll (Annabelle) is quite real. Based on a real life Raggedy Ann doll, this prequel of The Conjuring gives us an idea of how the doll came to be a conduit in the first place. Several moments of worry for the characters and jump scares including both the doll and the demon using it, the film makes your stomach turn once the doll makes its first appearance.
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
- A prequel of said prequel, this films shows the doll’s origins. After the death of their young daughter, a dollmaker and his wife begin to see her spirit and give her permission to use the doll. Bittersweet, right? Wrong, because this “spirit” isn’t their daughter. After they turn their house into an orphanage, one of the little girls becomes a person of interest to the demon. Though some may laugh at the girls’ stupidity (as most white people in horror films are), the films boasts great jump scares and a surprise twist ending.
The Boy (2016)
- Though not as popular as a lot of the other films I’ve listed, I fully love this film. Why? Well, this is the first horror film I’ve ever watched in theaters (Annabelle: Creation and IT were second and third). With actors like The Walking Dead’s Lauren Cohan and Hellboy’s Rupert Evans, the film follows an American woman taking the job as a nanny for a rich British family, only to find that the child she’s watching is a doll. Some good jump scares, creepy setting, and a plot twist that no one would’ve ever expected, this is definitely listed as one of my favorites.
(TO BE CONTINUED AT A LATER DATE. ENJOY ME SOUNDING LIKE A FUCKING MOVIE CRITIC)
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