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zestycompress · 4 years

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Ultimate Duo! Ch. 1

ok so BASICALLY... giorno & kars being homies and it’s a fic

here’s the ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25085071/chapters/60765478

For a few minutes, Kars didn’t realize he was back on some solid ground. He believed he was going to spend the rest of his immortal life in the cold dark emptiness of space. That caused him to stop thinking, why would he want to be aware of nothing? Kars was frozen, his muscles refused to budge no matter how much of his strength he tried using. It was all useless.

Eventually, his body returned to its normal state. Kars stretched his limbs, listening to the satisfying cracks and sighing. His mind was still a bit foggy, but he was able to remember some names and moments in his life. There were a few painful memories like losing his allies Esidisi and Wamuu and losing to that damn Joseph Joestar. Then there were better ones like becoming the ultimate lifeform. (Which he still is…)

Everything else was simply a blur, which annoyed him greatly, but that wasn’t something he was going to concern himself with. He was back on Earth and the first thing he was going to do is get revenge. Unfortunately, his legs were wobbly when he stood. They gave out and let him fall back onto the ground.

Kars let out a low growl before attempting again. He didn’t fall this time, but his legs still weren’t steady.

“Excuse me, signore.”

The voice startled him, almost making him fall back onto his knees. Turning around, a blond human was staring at him. He looked pretty young too despite his serious expression.

He recognized the language he spoke. It was Italian, wasn’t it?

“What do you want?” Kars hissed, giving the boy an intimidating scowl.

“Well, I saw you had a few difficulties standing and I just wanted to know if-”

“You wanted to know what?”

The teenager blinked, he was caught off guard. After clearing his throat, he began talking again. “I just wanted to know if you were alright, signore, that is all.”

Kars let out what seemed to be an annoyed sigh. He spent a few seconds in silence before speaking again. “Tell me, what is your name, human?”

“I am Giorno Giovanna, and you signore?”

“...Kars.”

Giorno hummed, examining the Pillar Man’s horns right above his forehead and the bizarre lack of clothes. He cocked an eyebrow, curiously tilting his head.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking this, signore Kars,” he pointed at him. “But are you even human?”

He only laughed in response.

~~~

It felt weird letting a stranger live with you, especially when you have such a small room. Giorno could tell Kars was judging everything in his room, probably saying “damn, you live like this?” in his head. He felt a bit nervous. He picked up books and flipped through the pages. It didn’t seem like he stopped to read anything written. Most of the books Giorno owned were about botany or zoology. When there was a picture, Kars spent a few more seconds longer on the page, then moved on.

Kars was hard for Giorno to read, he revealed little to no emotion.

The Pillar Man placed the books back to their original spots, then continued to explore the rest of Giorno’s room. As he did so, the young boy awkwardly stood near the doorway.

“I don’t have a place for you to sleep, but I could let you have my bed,” Kars immediately rejected his offer.

“Don’t bother, I don’t need sleep like you.”

...either he was really dedicated to pretending he’s not a human or he truly isn’t one. Honestly, he couldn’t tell. Giorno was never given an answer.

The teen glanced around, trying to figure out what to do next.

“Would you like me to get clothes for you? No offence, but I think you need some,” Giorno said.

“Go ahead, do whatever. But if you bring me something ridiculous, I’ll slice your head off.” Kars responded with a glare.

Giorno didn’t doubt it one bit.

When he went out, he made sure to pickpocket from a few strangers, hoping his new roommate didn’t have expensive tastes. He didn’t plan to buy much anyway, just a shirt and pants, maybe another thing if it matches the outfit. Giorno’s definitely not going to buy any undergarments for Kars, the man can do it himself. He bought a white collared shirt and black pants, Giorno may or may not have stolen some other clothes as well. As he walked back with some newly purchased (and stolen) goods, he spotted a slightly worn novel. When Giorno moved closer, he noticed it was something about history. Should he bring it back to Kars? After a moment of pondering, he snatched the book and left.

If the stranger liked the book, they wouldn’t have left it out like that.

~~~

“I’m back.”

Kars glanced at him while Giorno stared back at him with wide eyes.

His hand was gone, instead replaced with a plant. Not just any plant of course, but the pluchea glutinosa. From what he’s read, it was presumed to be extinct since the 19th century.

Yet, here it was, right in front of him.

“Are you a Stand user?” Giorno practically blurted out, summoning Gold Experience right after he asked.

“A Stand user? I don’t know what that is.” Kars’s gaze turned to the book. He flipped the page and the plant turned into a strange green goo, then became a different plant.

Was this not the power of a Stand? Or is Kars playing dumb?

“MUDAAA!” Gold Experience dashed forward, a fist inches away from colliding with the Pillar Man’s skull.

He didn’t even flinch.

Of course, the Stand didn’t even hit him, though it was quite close to doing so. Kars lifted his head up, turning his head to Gold Experience. He frowned and looked around with a puzzled expression on his face.

“Giorno,” He said. “Do you feel that?”

Curious, the teen moved forward and replied. “Feel what, signore Kars?”

“There’s a presence here,” Immediately, he stood up. “I can feel like, but there’s only us here.”

Kars searched around in Giorno’s room, opening his closet and checking underneath his bed only to find nothing. Giorno stared at Gold Experience and allowed the Stand to move closer to him.

He wasn’t a Stand user, but he could feel the energy of a Stand?

“Signore Kars, I think that presence your feeling is Gold Experience.”

His little exploration came to a halt as he turned to Giorno with a bewildered expression. It only remained there for a second before it changed, perhaps to rage.

“What the hell is Gold Experience? Are they human like you?” Kars yanked on Giorno’s collar, his face uncomfortably close to the teen’s. It felt like his ruby red eyes were burning holes through him. “No, that can’t be. It’s something else, isn’t it? You know, don’t you? Giorno Giovanna, if you don’t tell me right now-”

“It’s my Stand!”

Slowly (or probably hesitantly) Kars loosened his grip on Giorno. His gaze stayed on him, but it was less intense, but filled with suspicion.

“Explain it to me.”

~~~

Giorno explained all that he knew about his Stand and how only he was able to see it. Kars appeared to be fascinated with the new information. It was something that was worth caring about, but he wanted to know more. It disappoints him that Giorno’s knowledge was limited. He considered doing experiments on him, but he was the only Stand user he knows. It would be a shame to have something unfortunate cuts his life short.

Plus, it would be a waste as well.

He has lived for millennia and has never seen such a phenomenon. Maybe the hunt for the Red Stone of Aja prevented him from learning about peculiar things such as Stands. Now that he has achieved his goal of being the ultimate life form, Kars could explore other things in the human world. His expectations for humans are usually pretty low, so he’s not going to be surprised when they disappoint him.

A few hours had passed and it was that time when humans needed their rest. It took awhile for Giorno to fall asleep, he felt Kars’s eyes on him as he turned to get in a more comfortable position. It didn’t exactly help when the Pillar Man got up and walked around or tinkered with the pens and pencils he had on his desk. Occasionally, he would even hear drawers being open or his chair lightly scraping against the wooden floor. Giorno found it annoying, but didn’t bother with telling Kars to be quiet or stop doing whatever.

“Signore Kars.”

“Hmm?”

“I want to become a Gang-Star.”

“...Don’t let anybody get in your way.”

After the little chat, Giorno didn’t hear anything else. Seems like he managed to get some peace and quiet. Soon, he was fast asleep. Kars glanced up at the sleeping boy, then turned to the clothes he bought. He should try them on later.

~~~

When Giorno woke up, he noticed Kars on the floor with the random book he took. The Pillar Man didn’t bother giving him a “good morning”, he was too focused on the old novel.

“Buongiorno, signore Kars.”

In return, he just got a grunt.

...Good enough.

Giorno got ready for the day, putting on his clothes, brushing his hair, making the little curls, all that stuff. Finally, he tied his hair into a braid and headed out the door.

“Where are you going?”

The blond teen paused. “...Out?”

“With anybody? Or are you going alone?”

“I’m leaving by myself, why?” Giorno turned to face Kars, who had his book closed and right next to him on the ground.

Silence.

Kars picked up the book, opening to the exact page he left on. “If you meet any more Stand users, bring them to me.”

...Alright?

The way he speaks annoys Giorno, it's like this man has never been told no, or he’s used to giving commands to people below him. He turned back to the door and twisted the doorknob.

“By the way…”

Good grief, what did he want now?

“...Where are you going?”

“The airport, to scam tourists.”

“Ah.”

Giorno quickly left without another word.

“...What the hell is an airport?”

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nochu-libre · 5 years

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please don’t reblog

ok like I really didn’t want to write this essay but I’m just itching to say this and have been holding it in for a very long time haha. BIG DISCLAIMER is that im not defending them but i want people to understand why exactly they watch their idols commit these acts time and time again. please understand i am not defending but merely helping you guys see it from a different point of view. again not excusing their behaviour. understand??? ok.

okay so people from the west are always like but you should know by now!!! doing a is racist or doing b is racist. it’s 2019!!!

but the question is why? if I am a person from Korea, a monoethnic, racially homogeneous country (less than 5% are non-korean and top two nationalities are chinese and vietnamese which are u kno same skin colour basically), why would I personally take the time to know that or more importantly, how? I do not see people who are different from me (skin colour wise and also general culture) on a daily basis, I do not see their struggles on the news. I do not know these struggles exist at all. woke tweets/twitter threads/discourse on Twitter don’t reach me because 1 I most probably do not know English remotely well enough to understand it and 2 who is gonna retweet English stuff on my tl anyway. moreover, their news source is like naver articles and im v sure naver aren’t talking about this stuff. also big news outlets like vox or vice that typically talk about things like this certainly don’t have their articles translated in korean so I ask again, how?

now I won’t speak for people who have been called out on doing blackface and then apologizing and saying they understand only for them to turn around and do something racist again but for the general population I can promise you that they watched the news of trudeau getting called out for his blackface pics a while back and a lot of people in Asia went … that’s racist? yeah, most people didn’t know it was. and here’s where I want to say that it comes down to ignorance.

I’ll be very honest and say that I didn’t know blackface was a problem until I came to America to study. I didn’t know that the n word was derogatory until I was maybe 16. my country didn’t even censor the word when it was on radio until around 2013. Africans are few and far between in east Asian countries therefore there aren’t any people in our local population to tell us like hey that’s wrong. we learn what we learn about these things through tv & movies (which tbh doesn’t do a great job anyway and i’m sure you’d agree) and honestly you will be shocked to know how many people living in Asia still do not know that the n word is a derogatory term. I promise you that if you ask them they’ll tell you they think the word means bro/dude/homie and nothing else. i learned what i learned about the n word through movies and i know y’all are gonna laugh but i learned from things like django unchained, the help and etc. maybe learnt it from when a celebrity who got called out for using it. so i think you’ll understand now. if anything i blame their PR person for not educating them because surely they see the comments whenever they get into one of these situations.

but regarding the general population, they say we should know about slavery and thus how the n word came about because white Americans used it as a slur in that time and it still continues to this day. but to them I want to say how many of you listen to kpop and know even a sliver of korean history? how about the big one, the history between Korea and Japan? yeah I don’t think many do know or even if you do it’s barely surface level. (i’m talking in general, i know one or two of you are probs v smart and know all of this) maybe they’ll argue we should know about america and their struggles because they’re a powerful country, an economic powerhouse and to that I say what about China which is obviously an economic powerhouse of their own. do you know anything about China;s history or the country in general other than a lot of things are made there??? ye I’m pretty sure the answer is going to be no. sometimes i understand people going like wait how can you not know but then again if you put things into perspective, you’ll then understand why they don’t know. when you’re from your country, your news is the biggest news. likewise, in my country my country’s news is the biggest news too. we have our own problems and issues too that seem like the biggest things to us. that’s not to say american racial issues are not important but it’s just in the scale of things, maybe not as important as the immediate issues someone is facing. it’s like if i were asking an american to care about the korea vs japan thing. you wont because you’re not there, you know? or palestine vs israel, the racial or rather religion issue, war, killing, land issue (im oversimplifying the issue but i’m sure you get my point). again, NOT DEFENDING but put yourself in our shoes and you’ll see why some people don’t know it’s an issue even if it’s 2019.

so then comes the issue of cultural appropriation. i would like to say that it is a western concept or rather moral belief and teaching. I don’t think it exists in the east asian part of the world because they are again largely monoethnic/racially homogenous countries. see when you go to Korea and Japan they don’t mind if you wear the hanbok or kimono. in fact they encourage it lol like in korea you get free entrance to gyeongbukgong palace if you’re in traditional wear. thus it’s always odd to them when Asian Americans get upset over things like a white person wearing their traditional wear. (again not dismissing or dictating how Asian Americans should feel but merely trying to explain the difference in mindset.) take the white girl who wore a cheong sam/qi pao aka Chinese traditional wear to prom in America… Asian Americans got really upset meanwhile people in China were like yeah that’s cool that she chose to wear it!!! and that’s because we didn’t grow up in America and we didn’t get made fun of when we wore our traditional costume or when we brought our food to school. Thus, the concept of cultural appropriation is hard to grasp in that part of the world. So when we see other people wearing our stuff we’re like huh that’s nice/cute.

Even multicultural and multiracial countries like Malaysia and Singapore, we often wear each other’s traditional costume for celebrations and weddings and sometimes just for no reason. It’s normal to us so to this day cultural appropriation remains a very foreign concept. Mostly because we don’t know what it’s like to be made fun of for simply being us. So for us it’s like we see something we like, we wear it. it’s never been a problem so we never think to ask the question: should I not be wearing this? they say we should know that cornrows, gel twists and etc. belong to the black community and they are discriminated against when they have it but when white people have it, it’s okay but again… i’m not in your country, i don’t see your struggles, so therefore, i don’t know. i think the problem is people say like hey it’s racist, it’s cultural appropriation and that’s usually the final message that reaches them and never really the explanation. so they’re like hmm they say it’s racist but i don’t really understand why so i don’t see why it’s wrong and i’m going to keep doing it. AGAIN, not defending, just explaining. (also, for some reason cornrows are a thing to get on beaches in thailand. don’t know why… it’s just a thing and that’s honestly where i’ve always seen cornrows so for a very long time i didn’t know it was wrong to do it? still struggle with it too because my experience with cornrows has nothing to do with african americans, you know?) and this could be the same for many people. again, just explaining, not trying to say it isn’t wrong.

lastly, conservatism. yes namjoon speaks of things like gender identities and feminism and yoongi wanted the bt21 characters to be gender neutral and he hinted at how he doesn’t care about gender. ok but that’s two out of 7 of them. and then take the whole population. is lgbt frequently represented in their media? no. is marriage between lgbt partners legally recognized? no. does the average korean know what pansexual, asexual, gender fluid and so on means? probably not. they’re also still fighting feminism in Korea. ask an average guy what they think about feminism and you’ll get disgruntled moans. they don’t even see why there should be a female only carriage on their subway system. they think it’s a waste. even after the whole stabbing case in gangnam. and the prevalent problem korea has with hidden cameras and girls getting recorded unknowingly when they’re having sex. e.g: the burning sun scandal which of course had to do with WAY MORE than just that. then again korea has some sort of law where they can put a man in jail if they look at them in a way (probably like sexually e.g: ogling) or so my friends tell me. my korean guy friends were complaining about it, and i think it’s in a larger context of workplace harassment but yes that’s what they took away from it, which is telling of what they think about the feminism issue. also just ask the females in korean society how sometimes their brother is preferred over them. East asian cultures typically prefer males over females because the son will pass on the family name. the son will be the breadwinner etc etc etc. korea struggles with workplace equality too.

hierarchy is a big thing in Korea. age matters. just one year older and you have to use honorifics. don’t use them and they might actually physically fight you. if the older person serves you a drink, you must turn to your side before you drink from the glass. especially in workplaces if the older person says you’re wrong, then you’re wrong. arguing is discouraged. and it’s a very famous case but Korea airlines used to be one of the worst performing airlines (meaning there were a lot of crashes) and it was for this very reason. because of the cockpit gradient, meaning co-pilots felt they couldn’t tell their pilots something was wrong because the pilots are more senior thus they couldn’t argue. Google it.

in Korea filial piety is very strong. what your parents say is very important. disobeying them is almost like asking to be disowned. education is big. getting into SKY is the dream. largely unattainable if you are not the cream of the crop but there’s a loophole. if your kid studies overseas for 12 years, when they come back, it’s easier to get into SKY or uni in general. so for 12 years usually the mother and the children go to countries like Malaysia and send their kids to school there just so they can get into a university more easily. imagine that. parents willing to spend 12 years of their lives outside of their home country just so their kid can get into a good uni. and they want to go to SKY to end up in big firms like Samsung and the like. it’s why people do literally anything to get into SKY. and yes that includes going for extra classes until like 12 am. doesn’t matter if you don’t wanna study. you just gotta do it. a lot of pressure in korean society.

Koreans as a society are very herd-like. they all mostly think and dress and wear makeup the same. I know it sounds like I’m generalizing but if you were in Korea 2 winters ago literally almost everyone was wearing a long black puffer winter jacket. the kind that went to your ankles. and when I say almost everyone, I really mean it. there are pictures of it and even videos. and with a lot of trends it’s the same. the straight eyebrow trend. the pink eyeshadow trend. the permed hair trend for guys. Asian societies are taught to blend in rather than stand out. Americans for example reward individualism. that’s not really the case in Asia. in school a good student is a quiet student. not the outspoken student. again herd mentality isn’t exactly exclusive to korea and i dont know how to explain it but it’s quite next level in korea haha. if you’ve lived there or you know korean people, you know what i’m talking about.

then there’s the sogaeting trend… aka the blind date thing… anyway you gotta be a part of it when you’re in college. when in college it’s expected of you to find someone to date. everyone wants to be cc aka campus couple which is actual korean slang. feelsbad if you’re single. on the topic of dating, a lot of people especially older gen don’t like it when you date someone who isn’t korean. even those in our gen also. i’ve also heard it’s hard to make true friends in korea like they’ll always be surface friends but nothing more. i’ve heard this from friends who are fluent in korean too so it’s not really the language barrier. maybe cultural? sometimes they’re ignorant towards other cultures like if you’re from SEA and they haven’t been there before they’ll ask if they live on trees in the country you're from. this is a true story, happened many times.

also most college dorms have curfews and men and women live in separate buildings. and have you ever watched korean dramas and stopped to wonder why hugging is always such an omg moment? can you ever imagine a western rom com series and the cliffhanger of the episode is that they hugged? y'all would laugh. but that’s just what it’s like in Korea. girls and guys dont typically hug unless they’re dating. will never forget my korean friend bringing her other korean friends to their first ‘American’ party (meaning all the past parties they were at, there were only koreans in attendance) and they saw us hugging our guy friends and they’re like wait you guys aren’t dating and y'all hug??? and then they said 와 외국인 스타일… aka wow foreigner style. yes this isn’t everyone but it’s mostly everyone. that’s why celebs don’t hug each other because it’s not normal for them and ya their fan base would literally have an aneurysm. but u kno guys and guys are ok and girls and girls are ok. typically very touchy towards same gender. not sure why lol. also one night stands are also 외국인 스타일. and tattoos are sort of illegal. don’t get me started on drugs. you saw what happened with TOP. to them WEED = BAD. they’re like not weed NOOOO. it took them so long to allow it for medical use. yeah and abortion is a no. lots of christians in korea. also tons of very cult-like christian type of things. you’ve probably seen them shouting at myeong-dong if you’ve been.

that’s not to say korea is superbly conservative overall. i’m just saying it’s not a liberal happyland either. there are lgbt people, there are people who go for one night stands (apparently that’s what clubs are for lol they go there to pick the prey of the night) etc. etc. etc. i know this comes off kind of harsh but i like korea and a lot of my friends are korean and there are many wonderful things about the place and the people. but this is just the topic of discussion for the day thus it came out that way. disclaimer again that my intention is not to excuse their behaviour. just giving a different viewpoint. you may understand and still not agree. that’s cool. i’m always down to learn so if you intend to educate i’m always down to listen. no name-calling and stuff pls. doesn’t get anyone anywhere.

#please don't reblog #PLEASE

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violetsystems · 4 years

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Since the first person took two Edison cylinders home to their log cabin and put them in the top shelf of their chifferobe, record organization has been a logistical problem for everyone who collects records. Once you seriously start collecting a musical medium—be that MP3s even—how to organize that musical medium in a way that you can find that right song and record at the right time becomes a full time job (well, at least part time, weekends only).

But there’s very little practical advice on how to organize your records. Each record collector is treated as an island: you figure out how to organize your records on your own, without any guidance. So I’m here to help: I’ve assembled 10 different ways to organize your records, and laid out why a person would choose to organize their records that way, and followed that up with which people will find that method most amenable.

Option 1: You Don’t Organize Them At All

This option is the one that happens in the upside down, the darkest timeline, the version of history where Russia wins the Cold War, your mom and dad didn’t meet, and Bob Dylan died in that motorcycle crash. If you take this option, you are essentially saying that you crave disorder in your life, and you refuse to let logical human emotions and behaviors have any bearing on your day-to-day existence.

Best for: People whose appearance on a forthcoming season of Hoarders is already booked.

Option 2: You Organize By Genre

Spotify and Pandora and other algorithm based human experiences have taught us that humans like the novelty of having the art they appreciate broken down into tiny microgenres and labels that don’t actually have any bearing on the piece of art itself. So, you could choose to organize your records by genre, though that creates it own problem; how do you classify something like Purple Rain? How do you classify a 12-inch of Run-DMC’s “Walk This Way”?

Best for:If you are a soulless computer program organizing the record collection you got from your dad, Jeff Bridges in Tron: Legacy.

Option 3: You Alphabetize by First Name & Band Name

Alphabetizing something regarding your records is the most obvious and efficient way to organize your records. It’s how libraries are organized, and libraries are the shit (they have free books, and books are also the shit). This method is the province of people who like the obvious efficiency of alphabetization, but want to organize things like a maniac, where Kanye West sits next to Kings of Leon, and not Bill Withers (who’d be next to the Black Keys in this scenario). There is a way to be right, and awfully, maniacally wrong at the same time, and this is it.

Best for: The people who organize like this are like people who stayed in their rooms as the Titanic sank. They’re like “I swear, everything is going fine!” even as they get literally drowned by history.

Option 4: You Alphabetize by Album Title

This is self explanatory, and actually kind of a good idea, until you realize that this means having to remember the exact title of Our Love to Admire, instead of calling it “that sorta crappy third Interpol album.”

Best for: People who like album titles more than they like artist names; people who own Our Love to Admire and want to brag about it.

Option 5: You Organize Autobiographically

The High Fidelity nuclear option: you want to appreciate a movie that is actually super misunderstood (people seem to miss the point that judging someone based on what pop culture they like and consume is at least as bankrupt as basing someone’s value based on their looks) so you’re paying homage to John Cusack and his homie who ends up with the cool daughter from Roseanne at the end of the movie by organizing your records based on when you purchased/received them.

Here’s a video to explain this:

Best for: Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, John Cusack, people who have a memory like Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man, sociopaths.

Option 6: You Organize Chronologically

In this scenario, your records are organized based on the year they came out. This is a cool option, but also creates a weird level of organization conundrum: do you organize your copy of Rumours based on when the album itself came out, or when your club edition came out a couple years later? If you can look past that, and accept that your pressing will be messing up the chronology, this one should garner a lot of respect. This is a lifestyle as much as an organization technique.

Best for: People who are super good at making timelines; archivists.

Option 7: You Organize By Color

This is a trend for #shelfie enthusiasts the world over in the book world: organizing your collection not based on size, or genre, or alphabetically, but by the color of the spine. This method would be insane to see pulled off, but I don’t think it’s ever been attempted. I also suspect 74% of vinyl records have a black or white spine.

Best for: People who can see the full spectrum of the rainbow.

Option 8: You Organize by How Much Money the Record is Worth/You Paid For It

Look, a record collection is technically a commodity. It was bought, and it could be sold. What better way to celebrate that copy of Silent Alarm that sells for incongruent $95 on Discogs by putting it as the top slot of your record shelf. Conversely, it could be devastating to be constantly reminded you paid $300 for the first edition of 808s and Heartbreak only to see it’s value crater via a reissue. Though, that could also be a reminder that life is fleeting, and your relative value to society is only dependent on no reissues.

Best for: Business school graduates, Wall Street employees, people who check Discogs for record values as they crate dig, whoever is historically the opposite of Karl Marx.

Option 9: You Organize by Last Played

This is a fun one, but also feels just a shade removed from “not organized at all because I am a lunatic allowed to live among law-abiding citizens”: you organize based on when you’ve listened to the album last. The stuff you’ve listened to most recently goes all the way at the top, those Maynard Ferguson albums foisted upon you by your uncle will go all the way to the back. The challenge, of course, is finding the albums you forgot you own and suddenly decide you want to listen to.

Best for: People who own fewer than 10 records.

Option 10: You Alphabetize by Last Name & Band Name

This is, objectively, the only correct way to organize your records. Search your feelings: you know it to be true. It’s the way every record store on earth organizes records (after they organize by genre). If you walked into a library and things were organized solely by color, all hell would break loose. If you went to the courthouse to get a copy of your birth certificate, and they had to find it by your relative net worth, it’d take forever. This is how you know which way is right. Clint Black alongside Black Keys alongside Black Moth Super Rainbow. Fiona Apple next to Apples in Stereo. The thought of organizing my records any other way makes me break out into hives.

Best for: Everyone. Literally. Why don’t you organize like this?

#Alphabetize by First Name & Band Name

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