#holy fucking shit no wonder xenomorphs look like that
Text
Me, starting Prometheus: "Okay so, it's a prequel. Doesn't really feel like one with how advanced everything is, but this movie was released in 2012 so it makes sense."
My face at the end of the movie :
IT REALLY IS A PREQUEL HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT THIS THING. LOOK AT THE FUCKING JAWS ON THAT THING HOLY FUCK. NO WONDER IT WAS SO BIG LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.
YEAH, YEAH WHAT THE FUCK, GOOD PREQUEL, NO WONDER XENOMORPHS ARE WHAT THEY ARE HOLY SHIET.
I love the madness of this franchise.
#moca screeches#moca watches#alien franchise#prometheus (2012)#holy fucking shit no wonder xenomorphs look like that#i also wonder if the whole womb fixation is a thing that just... keeps being relevant?#because we started with eggs.#then we went into the whole impregnated with a queen.#then we had the alien queen birthing#ripley was a mom three times. this woman was not capable of having a child. somehow the aliens were laying eggs#were the enginers ALSO LAYING EGGS?#WHO KNOWS! NOT ME!#i need to eat smth and then see if I have the energy to watch the next movie or if that's enough madness for one evening
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Wine Drunk while watching Godzilla vs Kong
Some major spoilers up ahead!
Mans really just annoyed the shit out of his coworker until he left so he could hack shit, huh?...I love it! 🤣🤣
——————————————
You mean to tell me that the explanation for why Godzilla attacked the one tech company site by the dude who studied Kaiju communication and behavior for a living is just, “sometimes people (and creatures) change”???? Like some dumbass justifying a toxic person/relationship??? Like excuse me???? Why are the literal teenagers making more sense than you?????
Also, we’re all in agreement that this facility is either housing Ghidora’s dead head, Mecha Godzilla, or Mecha Ghidora, right?!?
——————————————
Lol! “Apex Cybernetics!” That’s not foreshadowing! 🤣
——————————————
Apparently, I didn’t get my fill of white nonsense from Falcon and Winter Soldier, bc someone decided to put this blonde-hair-blue-eyed little bitch in charge! That’s not ganna go wrong somehow. 🙃😑👀
Like this bitch literally wanted to send a fucking child into unexplored hollow earth territory without a second thought! 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I was literally like 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 for that entire convo.
——————————————
I’m sorry! This conspiracy man just met these teenagers, and his first impulse was, “yeah, theses seem like some good people to break into a tech conglomerate with!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
——————————————
Why are these people surprised Kong knows sign language? These are people who study Kaiju (and presumably other animals in order to draw conclusions about certain behaviors) for a fucking living!!! We have primate species that recognize and communicate in sign language already! Why is this surprising???!?! Like...has NO ONE except this precious child tried this????
Also, nothing bad better happen to this child.
——————————————
That ship literally fucked around, and Godzilla let it find out! Lmao!
——————————————
Kong: Hey, Godzilla...look at me...
Godzilla: >:[
Kong: ...bitch.
——————————————
Precious girl: Thank you, friend 🧏🏽♀️
Kong: ☺️😴
THIS GIRL IS TOO PRECIOUS!!!!
——————————————
Bitch-ass White Man: How’s Kong with heights?
BITCH, you really ganna try that?!?! You really think you ganna find any aircraft(s) that are ganna be able to support all that weight?? Never mind any other problems with Kong trying to nope the fuck out of that situation and all kind of other hosts of problems!
And if you do somehow have one (or multiple) WHY TF DIDN’T YOU USE THAT BEFORE KNOWING FULL AND WELL YOU RAN THE RISK OF GODZILLA MERCING KONG’S ASS IF YOU TRAVELED VIA SHIP!?!?!?!
——————————————
Down the Hell Naw tunnel we go!
——————————————
“I think it’s romantic,”
I fucking love Millie Bobbie Brown’s character!! 🤣❤️🤣
——————————————
WHY IS THIS TEENAGER SMARTER THAN EVERYBODY OMG!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
——————————————
“This is page one in the ‘Playing God’ handbook, right?”
I’ve decided I love this character! 🤣
——————————————
WHY YOU GETTING INSIDE THAT THING—Oh god! 😨 Why y’all got eggs!?!? This is like if Weyland-Yutani succeeded in getting Xenomorphs! 😬
——————————————
Oop! Locked in! THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HIDE OUT IN MYSTERIOUS ROOMS!!!!
——————————————
Oh shit! Apex Cybernetics think they on that Wakanda shit now!
Also, why was that one Apex Cybernetics bitch bitching about how one of those HEAV crafts could power Vagas for a week if y’all clearly have a whole network or transportation using this tech!
And I never understood how tech companies kept that shit to world domination shit! Build a public transportation system with that shit! Boss man said he likes ideas that make him rich! Pretty sure that would do the trick!
——————————————
WINE BREAK!!!
Saving the rest of the last bottle for coking Gumbo, so gotta open up a new bottle
——————————————
Aw, Kong is so sick of this bullshit! 😂😭
——————————————
“It’s not working”
Bruh! Give it more that two seconds!
——————————————
HOW DARE Y’ALL USE KONG’S LOSS AGAINST HIM!!!! HOW DARE Y’ALL!!!
——————————————
HEAV go Brrrrrrr Shoooooooooooom!!!!
——————————————
LMAO!!! Monarch has their own brand of bottled water!?!?! Idk why that amuses me so much!
——————————————
This hallow earth portal thing is some Pacific Rim bullshit right here, lol!
——————————————
NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM
——————————————
Are we...are we really Ice Age: Dawn of Dinosaur-ing this shit rn??? 😂😂😂
——————————————
“It’s beautiful,”
Of course it’s beautiful! No hoomins have touched it! Lol
——————————————
Y’ALL GOT FUCKIN DRAGONS IN THIS BITCH!?!?!?!!! 8D YO!!! SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!!!!
——————————————
*marvels at the creature creation ideas*
——————————————
Kong’s first thought: *nom the dragon guts*
——————————————
THE ROCK HAND OMG IM GANNA CRY!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s the same gesture the Precious Girl did OMG!!!!
——————————————
“We going in?”
“Yeah”
The BALLS on this child!
——————————————
“AAAAHH 😐”
*fear*
LMAO!!!!! I’M FUCKIN WHEEZING!!!
——————————————
“Sacrifice Pit”
OMG 🤣🤣🤣
——————————————
I KNEW IT!!!! MECHA-GODZILLA MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!! 8DDDDD
——————————————
YO PACIFIC RIM RAN SO MECHA-GODZILLA COULD FUCKIN SPRINT!!!!!!!!
——————————————
YO IT’S A GOOD THING I AIN’T SEEING THIS IN THEATERS BC I’D BE FLIPPING MY SHIT!!!!
——————————————
“Humanity, once again, will be the apex species,”
THERE it is!
——————————————
Why Mecha-Godzilla so skeeny?!? He need ta be thicc if he ganna take down REAL Godzilla!
——————————————
*Ryan Bergera conspiracy voice* Is this the real reason Kong was contained!? So this douche could snatch up Skull Crawlers without Kong intervention???
——————————————
OH SHIT!!! I think this thing is emitting alpha waves (or whatever we’re calling it) and THAT’s what set Godzilla off!!! He fought Ghidorah, heard this shit and went, “Nu-uh, bitch! NOT AGAIN!!!”
——————————————
Monarch dude: Yo, Godzilla’s headed to Hong Kong for some reason?
FUCKIN CALLED IT!!!
——————————————
This look like the door to fuckin General Grievous’s lair,da fuq?!? 🤣🤣🤣
 ——————————————
I got waaay too emotional over that handprint, y’all! 😭😭😭
——————————————
Y’all, the fucking art history major in me is fuckin screaming at this temple scene! The fact that some of these Kaiju not only had the urge and drive and capacity to build a fucking temple around this power source or some shit and create weapons like the axe that Kong just fucking Excalibured the shit out of that one skull crawler’s skull fucking implies the fact that there is intelligent civilization amongst these fucking Kaiju and all that shit! I want to know more about this shit! Take that you fucking racist-ass white historian motherfuckers!
(Note: I definitely needed to use talk to text for much of this bit, because there was no way I was going to be able to contain all my excitement in just typing, alone, lmao)
——————————————
BRUH!!! Why y’all exiting g the HEAV without no breathing apparatus or lead suits or nothing!?!?! In previous movies, y’all implied that these Kaiju lived in environments in which their environments were hella radioactive compared to our own!!!
——————————————
Kong is s the true heir to the iron throne, Lmao!
——————————————
FUCKING CALLED IT!!!! THEY HAD GHIDORA’S REMAINS IN THERE SOMEWHERE!!!!
——————————————
OH FUCK!!!! Y’ALL AINT JUST SENDING OUT ALPHA VIBES WITH YOUR MECHA-GODZILLA!!!! YOU SOMEHOW USING GHIDORA’S HIVE MIND OR TELEPATHY SHIT TO DO IT!?!?!?! AAAWWWWW SHEEEEEET!!! Y’ALL ARE BONED NOW!!!! FUCKIN BONEROWNED!!!!
——————————————
Godzilla! My bruh! My dude! You didn’t HAVE TO get up right where that bridge was!!! 😂😂 Ya douche bag!!!
——————————————
At the same time, tho, I can just hear him going, “Ah! FUCK! NOT AGAIN!!! Sunova bitch!! Motherfuckin!! STOP BUILDING sHIT SO DAMN HIGH!!! Goddammit!”
——————————————
You know, with all the Bright twinkly lights in Hong Kong, I can’t help but think of the sequel to the original Gojira movie ( that I can’t remember the title of ,rn) where he was fucking triggered by fucking lights. And I wonder if this little scene where he’s stomping all through Hong Kong is a tribute to that or whatever. But I’m probably overthinking it.
[Sober Edit: it was Godzilla Raids Again]
——————————————
*GASP* HOLY SIHIIIT!!! The axe is made out of Godzilla skute!?!?! GOLY BALLS THAT’S NOT ONLY COOL BUT CONTRIBUTES MORE TO THE FACT THAT THESE KAIJU (likely Kong’s species, in particular) WERE REALLY FUCKING INTELLIGENT AMD TJOUGHT, “Imma beat this muthafucka with their own spiky thing! Bc that’s what screws us over, so, why WOULD’nt it hurt them!?!” I need SO MUCH MORE of this Kaiju/Kong culture studied and shit! HOLY FUCK!!!
It even fucking glows!! Like ... they managed to fucking piece together that its glow was a fucking warning sign like Sting or some shit!!!! Holy fuck!!!!
Also, how does that work? How are the skutes still connected even after dismemberment???
 ——————————————
NO FUCKIN WAY WRE YOU—AAAAAAAAHHH!!! Excalibur that shit my boi!!!!
——————————————
I FUCKIN LOVE YHIS MOVIE HOLY SHIT!!!
——————————————
“ that’s Apex property now,”
Excuse me bitch! Are we really not gonna listen to the scientist who saying “hey we don’t understand the shit out of this fucking power! Maybe we should hold off on taking some fucking samples!”
Are we really just gonna ignore that shit???????
 ——————————————
Kong said: TRY ME BITCH!!!!
——————————————
Oh thank the GODS this Serizawa dude is taking precautions like his old man! Also, what is his relation to Ken Watanabe’s Serizawa!?!?!
——————————————
UH OH!! SOLDIER DUDES GETTIN ATE!!!
——————————————
OH SHIT!!! PILOT JUST GOT ATE!!! FUCKIN DRAGON BASEMENT UP IN THIS SHIT!!!
——————————————
BITCH YOU REALLY GON THROW A ROCK AT IT!!! FUCKIN NONSENSE OF THIS BITCH!!!
——————————————
LOVE AND FITE ME ENERGY IS STORED IN THE ATOMIC BREATH
——————————————
“Shoot him!”
WHY!!!???!! He literally had NO problem with you before then!!!
——————————————
Why does white man who don’t know anything about this vehicle suddenly know how to pilot this shit!???!?!!!!!
 ——————————————
Y’all love had SO MUCH wine!
——————————————
The FUCK this dude got a flip flop phone for!!!?!????!!!?
Da fuq!?!?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 yeah that’s the most unrealistic part of this entire fucking movie! Not the fuckin Kaiju robots. Not the fucking hollow earth bullshit! The fucking flip phone! LMFAO!!!!
——————————————
“Maintenance! I’M MAINTENANCE!!! This bitch ain’t buying it”
That made me laugh WAY FUCKIN harder that it should have!!!!
——————————————
Y’all really ganna try to shoot at a kid!?! REALLY!?!?!??!
——————————————
GAWD, I’m so glad I impulse bought these oatmeal bites from Dominos! 🤤😋
[Sober Edit: I have no idea how my autocorrect managed to convert “Parmesan” to “oatmeal,” but okay! 😆😅]
——————————————
Kong be like, “Hey, bitch!!! You lookin’ for me!?!?”
——————————————
Find you a partner that bites your neck like Godzilla does! Lmao!
Sorry, I’ll be crawling back into my hell hole, now.
——————————————
EAT YOUR FOOKIN VEGETABLES GODZILLA!!!!!
——————————————
Did Godzilla just axe throw with his fuckin teefs!!!????!?!?!
——————————————
THIS IS THE FOOKIN MONSTER VS MONSTER FIGHTS IVE BEEN CRAVING SINCE KING OF THE MONSTERS HOLY SHIT!!!!
——————————————
“Really? Groupies, again?”
First of all, again!?! What happened last time???
Secondly, where tf are YOUR grpupies, asshole! No need to judge! Ya cunt!
——————————————
“There can only be one alpha,”
Really! You really gotta bring your toxic masculinity into a fuckin monster fight, my dude!?!
——————————————
Kong said, “Yeet! YEET SELF!!!”
——————————————
I am living for the feral fight scenes!!!!
——————————————
Kong’s expression , tho! 🤣🤣🤣
Like, “Can you ducking NOT, Godzilla?!? Can you, like, fucking chill??!!? Aight, fine! ASDASHKLSDJKLDZJL ADKLKDZDJ!!!!!!”
——————————————
Awwwww! Godzilla let Kong go, bc he knows what it’s like to be the last of his species! 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭
——————————————
“This is how we [...] win!”
Oh, honey, you ‘bout to die! Lmao! 😂
——————————————
Oh god! I knew he was going to use the sign for “coward” at the most inappropriate time! Lmao! At least the Precious Girls is smart enough to know what Dumbass White Man means, lol
——————————————
Oh, thank god we do t see this dumbass in any sequels!
——————————————
Dammit, he escaped!
——————————————
This girl is too good!
——————————————
Did y’all really think you were ganna break into a semi-sentient Mecha-Godzilla by GUESSING ITS FUCKING PASSWORD!!?!?!?!!!!???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
——————————————
YEAH!!!! TEAM-UP COMING THROUGH!!!!!
——————————————
“I was hoping to die with adults, but that’s okay,”
🤣🤣🤣
——————————————
“I’VE GOT TO DIE WITB YOU AND SOBER!!?!?!”
GOD, I love this movie!!!!
——————————————
OOOOOOHHHH HOLY SHIT!!!!! 😱😱😱😱😱 He powering up the axe!!!!!
——————————————
YOOOOOO KONG WENT PREDATOR/YOUTJA ON MECHA-GODZILLA’s ASS!!!!
——————————————
Kong said, “I’m done, y’all! Imma take a nap!”
——————————————
“Dad. Uh...Bernie.”
I fucking love Bernie!!! 😂😂😂😂
——————————————
JIA NOOOO!!! Don’t go running between two disgruntled Kaiju bby!!
——————————————
Yo, why do monsters have less toxic masculinity than we do??? Lol!
——————————————
Yaaaaaay! Kong has a new home!!
——————————————
WELP!!! I fucking loved this movie, and I highly recommend it to everyone!!!
#SPOILERS#Godzilla#godzilla vs kong#King Kong#kaijuverse#my posts#my drunk ass#godzilla vs kong spoilers
47 notes
·
View notes
Note
What if Indil met Elizabeth, David, and Light and Shadow?
This might just be the most "Carnivorous Muffin" sentence to have ever been uttered on the internet.
Let's just stare at it in wonder, while I wonder how many people will have no idea what those words even mean strung together.
Right, for those that are lost, relevant source material:
Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus
October
Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun
The Wasteland
Aren't you so glad you read normal fanfics written by a normal person?
So, to catch people up to speed who have not read every single fic I've written:
The Wasteland
The Wasteland is the what if story of an eleven-year-old Lily ending up in Middle Earth (notably before the Chamber of Secrets fiasco). There she befriends the One Ring, who thanks to her realizes he's sentient and has an existential crisis. They do the fusion dance, and end up becoming a single, new, being calling himself Indil.
He's the best and worst of both the Ring and Lily.
At the end of the story Indil chooses a noble death, gives up his form, and in so doing persuades the Ring to face his own potential death as well as his maker.
It's unclear what happens after that.
I like to think the Ring prevailed and earned the body of his maker.
(In an offshoot, for unknown reasons, Indil may or may not visit Mars)
Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun
In Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun, yet another, different, Lily ends up in the "October" universe where she decides to create life on Pluto. One of the beings she creates is a priest who worships her as God, named Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun.
He basically strong arms her into being his God. Lily goes to live on Pluto.
He's never been all that keen on humanity.
Decades later, the muggle world catches up to the Alien Franchise, and the Prometheus sets off to investigate the Engineers. Unbeknowest to them, Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun has been marooned on that rock by Lily for quite some time and is essentially in timeout for trying to wipe out humanity again.
He figures out he will be unable to return home unless he plays nice with Dr. Elizabeth Shaw and her creepy android friend David. Together, the three of them set off to find the Engineers, Light and Shadow of the Distant Sun is hoping they can blow some shit up and would have driven the ship full of bioengineered weapons back to Earth if it were not so very close to home.
And that's about where we leave off.
... Why does anyone read my stories?
RIGHT, YOUR QUESTION
What if Indil met Elizabeth, David, and Light and Shadow?
So how does Indil even end up in this mess? Well, in the Mars AU, it's where rather than face his maker/death by Volcano, the Ring chose to bravely run away (as Sauron does).
This means that Indil, the merged consciousness of Lily and the One Ring, survives and they're chilling on Mars in another dimension because, well, it beats dying. And Potions Class.
And... Well, that's the most likely route for how this would happen, as Indil is pretty damn dead by the end of the Wasteland. Regardless of what happens to The Ring, it's unlikely that he and Lily would merge consciousness ever again and if they did that Indil would remain unchanged.
But we're already here, so why not. We'll say the Ring wins the battle of wills with Sauron, steals his body, and that he's then left with Mordor. Well, that's great, but he doesn't want Mordor.
Lily proposes they go back to England. They do, but Lily has a terrible time, as she usually does. Lily likely does her adventure through time, ruins her friendship with Wizard Lenin, and reaches the crossroads of "You can go to Hogwarts or... not".
Lily takes Mairon up on his offer of not going to Hogwarts and they decide to travel different dimension in space instead. Weird shit happens, life lessons are learned, and they also learn the fusion dance is alive and well and holy shit they can still turn into Indil.
Indil is very put out, here he'd geared himself up for a noble sacrifice, and now he exists again. What the hell people?
As usual, Mairon gets tempted by Lily's unbreakable will, and decides he rather likes being an immovable object and unstoppable force. Which means that Indil, once again, has a problem falling back out of existence.
Which isn't good for either Lily or Mairon's sense of self. But who needs that, amirite?
Anyways, Indil is probably floating around in a spaceship he made in his garage, trying to figure out where to go, what to do, and whether he should really split back into Lily and Mairon yet when out of nowhere he spots another ship.
This is a very strange coincidence given just how ungodly vast space is. This, in fact, is so unlikely you might as well call it a miracle or fate.
Well, Indil will never spit in the face of fate (at least, not today), so he decides to say hello.
There he's greeted by a human woman who's not doing too hot after an emergency C-section to get the xenomorph out of her womb, a very recently repaired android who knows the taste of sweet sweet freedom (and patricide), and an alien who is intrigued that another not-human has boarded the ship but upset that he now has to deal with yet another person on his time out.
Indil, in his panic, decides to pull a Sauron.
Behold, mortals, he is Annatar, sent by the Valar to teach them the smithing of the very gods. Please don't question this. (Indil realizes two seconds two late that none of these words mean anything to anyone and he might as well have said nothing at all).
Elizabeth, Light and Shadow, and David all just stare.
Elizabeth wonders how the hell she keeps running into so many aliens. Is she some sort of alien catnip that pulls these guys out of the ether? She has now met two entirely different species, that she was not looking for, in a matter of months.
Regardless, Indil decides he's coming along. A quest to find God? That's fascinating. He only hopes it doesn't end in drowning, last time Indil (via Sauron) had a run in with The Lord it involved a lot of drowning.
Indil starts smithing life jackets just in case.
And because Elizabeth is amazing, and Indil has a thing for strong, independent, women, we see the reemergence of Indil's Weird Thing With Eowyn II: Electric Boogaloo. Neither Mairon nor Lily, vaguely aware inside Indil, understand this at all.
Why does this keep happening to them?
This is bad because David is also in love with Elizabeth. Except, David is a robot who is no doubt fascinated by aliens, so I'm sure they come to some weird agreement.
Elizabeth pretends none of this is happening.
Light and Shadow thinks there's something disturbingly familiar about Indil and eventually lands on the money. Almost. He realizes that Indil is Lily in mortal disguise, he is so smart, and the rest of the time he wonders what the hell he's supposed to be learning/doing with Lily's disguised alien appearance.
Thanks to Lily's bullshit powers, Elizabeth survives the journey and does not die in transit. This means that David does not become the unstable, grieving, nutcase who decides to wipe out all sentient life. Good for you, David.
So our band of heroes arrive on this alien world and...
Well, Elizabeth is a member of the race that these people sent their finest warriors out to destroy. David is a robot, something the people they tried to genocide created. No one knows what the fuck Indil and Light and Shadow even are.
Indil, I imagine, starts talking fast and somehow ends up King of Men again. Because that's just the kind of thing that happens to him. The possibility of drowning, somehow, seems to be growing ever nearer. Indil makes more life jackets.
Elizabeth isn't pleased with this outcome at all but also has no idea in general what to do.
Things probably come to a head somehow, with sacrifices involved surely, there probably is a ridiculously powerful storm a la Covenant that lasts for months. It's raining everywhere, there's a flood. And Indil flips shit, GOD IS GOING TO MURDER US ALL FOR SATANISM! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
Mass panic, total destruction, the entire city is wiped out without David doing anything.
Our heroes are now stranded, again, in space.
Light and Shadow has learned nothing, Indil is wearing a life vest, Elizabeth has no ship, and David just composed "Elizabeth the Symphony: Tenth Movement".
Indil works on building a new ship out of twigs and rocks. He assures them he knows what he's doing. Elizabeth's not sure she wants him going to Earth. She's not sure she wants to go to Earth.
She's also not sure, but she may now have a harem consisting of a robot, an alien, and another alien.
Ten years later, the Covenant crew shows up, and promptly die in a series of hilariously terrible accidents and their own incompetence.
Our heroes still have no functional ship.
#ask#anon#prometheus#light and shadow of the distant sun#the wasteland#lily and the art of being sisyphus#elizabeth shaw#david 8#indil#the one ring
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 » Ellie & Becca
Ｊｕｌｙ ３１ｓｔ， １９９８
The saying goes as such: the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb... or whatever. Honestly I have only ever applied this proverb to my relationship with my sister whenever we weren’t in mortal peril. While I have plenty of friends and acquaintances who I’ve shared battlefields with (i.e. the morning after a party), that never made me any closer to them in a real crisis. I would say about seventy-five percent of the time that the blood is thicker than the water, and the remaining twenty-five percent is when the water isn’t necessarily thicker, but more pressurized. That’s the only time in our lives when we’ve ever come together as sisters.
Well, this is the twenty five percent, and never has the feeling of being sucked and trapped against a fissure at the bottom of the Challenger Deep been more realized than now. It doesn’t help that my bladder is about to implode and leak the citrus-flavored toxic waste I’ve consumed in rapid succession over the past half hour into my visceral fat and contaminate all my vital organs.
I waddle awkwardly through the narrow doorway of Page One and slam my tiny palm onto the countertop. A bookkeeper who I can recognize as my lab partner from sophomore year chemistry pokes his nose out from the novel he’s immersed in. Moby Dick. Jesus, who reads school assigned books after graduation?
“Hey, Drew-Drew,” I greet him, a lopsided grin fitted on my lips as he brushes his hair out of his eyes and offers me a smile in return. He has a lot more charisma than I remember. I think his eyes have gotten bigger and bluer, too. It reminds me of the water’s surface I’m staring up at from the very bottom of the ocean. “Where’s Becky at?”
Drew dog-ears his page — which is kind of disgusting to me, do they not sell bookmarks in this busted ass joint? — and he points toward the graphic novel section. “Over there, we just got Spider-Man #76, she’s stocking up.”
“... Didn’t #76 come out in January? Of last year?” I ask him. He opens his mouth so he can answer but I stop him with a raised hand. “No time. You’re lookin’ good, Drew-Drew, considerably less like a delicious pepperoni pizza. Keep it up with the Oxy Pads.” I say before pushing away from the counter and venturing off to my destination.
Indeed, my older sister is crouched down and rustling with a display, slightly disgruntled by the symmetry of the copies of Spider-Man she’s stocking. I don’t really have any witty remarks as a smooth enough introduction, so I settle with, “Need help?”
She whips around and I can almost hear the crack in her spinal cord from the velocity. “Lily?” she half-whispers. I forget that I haven’t seen her since late May, and also that I swore I’d never see her again.
“In the flesh,” I confirm and do a curtsey, which threatens my full bladder. I really need to piss soon or else I’ll die a terribly death in the shittiest bookstore on the eastern seaboard. “Do you have a sec? It’s 9-1-1.”
Becca’s expression shifts from awe and minor annoyance to something resembling concern as she pushes herself off her knees. “What is it?” she asks me, crossing her arms over her chest as a last resort defense mechanism.
I don’t hesitate to hold up the plastic Walgreens bag I’ve carted with me for two blocks. She recognizes the items inside and her eyes go all moony and her jaw slacks a bit. I jerk my brows up expectantly and she assumes the position of utter bewilderment.
“Do you have a place I can empty the biohazardous contents of my bladder? It’s about to necrotize,” I hiss at her. She reaches down, digs in her pocket, unearths a bronze key and walks ahead of me at full speed. I have to waddle after her like a newly hatched penguin chick. It would be more humiliating if over half the population of Eden were literate, but alas...
Becca jams the keys into the lock and just about bodychecks the door so we can enter the rectangular bathroom. It’s cramped and the lighting resembles something out of a Hitchcock film, but who the fuck am I to be picky about where I take the most important whizz of my life?
I place the bag on the counter and take out the three empty full-sized cans of Surge I used to fuel my bladder before picking up the grossest thing I have ever held: a pregnancy test. I keep it in my grasp for a few passing beats, nearly crushing the box underneath my iron-tight grip before man-handling it open and tearing out the plastic stick that will determine my fate.
“This is by far the most unholy fortune telling experience ever,” I decide to joke as I witness my sister cower in the corner. You’d think by the looks of it she were the one whose life was about to change forever. “You think if I shake it a genie will come out and grant me three wishes?”
“... Only if it’s negative, as a gift,” Becca chimes in at last. “Otherwise not even God can save you.”
I let out an involuntary snort, because while my reflexes register this as a funny joke, I am actually scared shitless.
I stare at the porcelain toilet bowl. I feel sicker now looking at it than when I’ve genuinely been at risk for vomiting up my lunch. I could still do that, I’ve been puking like a bulimic for weeks now. The thought is almost comforting. Almost. I bite the bullet instead and yank my pants down, my boy pants, which I normally wear as a boy when I’ve got slightly wider hips and more junk to hide and taller legs to protect with denim fabric. Fuck me.
“I just... Hold it and piss, right?” I ask her, as if she’s gone through this before. I know for a fact she hasn’t, or else this wouldn’t be our first time. I’m surprised it’s our first time, actually, thinking that karma would’ve caught up with me a long time ago.
“Just don’t get any on your hand.” Becca replies. Very helpful, I think, but rather than respond verbally I give a sigh of defeat and do what needs to be done. When my bladder is emptied an eternity later, I pull up my oversized pants and briefly grieve my dick before I place the test on the counter.
I glance over my shoulder at Becca, “It’s seasoned. Just gotta let it marinate.”
“Gross.” she says with a scrunched up nose.
I turn around and slide down the wall, an action she mimics a couple seconds later. I stare ahead, up at the light that’s screwed into a 70s pendant-shaped fixture, and pass the silence by making them flicker. I do this as a distraction from the materializing tension between us. Normally, this doesn’t happen, but then again our peril has only involved either extreme intoxication, pedos on AOL (during high school), or something about her and Gabriel’s arguments, which felt like walking through Reactor 4 in Chernobyl.
She’s the first one to say something.
“Whose is it? ... If it’s a thing,” she wonders, and as I look over at her I notice that her eyebrows are knitted together and her mouth is fixed downward. “... Please don’t tell me Topher’s.”
I chuckle at the idea. “I think if it were a thing and Topher’s, it’d have grown like a xenomorph baby and ripped itself out of my stomach by now,” I tell her. “I’d deserve that kind of karma for getting knocked up by him.”
“Xenomorph?” she says, and I open my mouth to offer an explanation before she finishes, “Alien. Right.”
“... Yeah, exactly,” I nod along. How in the hell did she remember that? We only ever sat through Alien and Aliens once, and I could’ve sworn she was too preoccupied reading a magazine to actually notice what was happening on screen.
I also notice that she’s wearing my favorite striped turtleneck. Stone cold bitch.
Some things never change, huh?
Shit, I think I might cry.
This is why we’re siblings, I think, so I can hate her for wearing my favorite turtleneck while sitting by her side as we await Satan’s final decision on the state of my cursed uterus.
Tears prickle my vision but I blink them away.
“Whose is it, then?” she wonders again. I visibly tense. This is probably where our unspoken, once-in-a-blue-moon loyalties end. How do you tell your sister that her ex-boyfriend is the reason you’re sitting in the dingy bathroom of her workplace with a piss-riddled stick inches away?
In the end, I don’t have to say anything at all. We look at each other simultaneously and she reads my expression with ease. Her features soften and I can see a glint of hurt in her eyes, and I expect ripples of betrayal to make themselves known across the rest of her body soon enough. But those ripples never come. The water I thought was loosening from around me doesn’t make a goddamn move.
I’m still at the bottom of the Deep, but she’s with me now.
Her hand grips mine. Tight. I can feel our pulses match up in our paralleling wrists.
“I think it’s been enough time.” I say eventually. She doesn’t release my hand. Our shared warmth creates a comfortable friction between us. “... Will you hate me after this?”
Becca squeezes my hand. A heart beat jumps out from her touch to mine. “I think I’ve hated you enough for one summer.”
A smile flickers on the corner of my lips and I slowly depart my hand from hers. My palm is slick with sweat but I don’t mind. I stand up and feel my equilibrium struggle to steady itself before I’m ready to approach the counter. The test is still there, so I know this wasn’t an abstract fever dream I’ve had after discovering so much eerily similar history.
I’m not a fucking coward. I’m looking this shit straight on, no matter what. Do you think I’m afraid of a sign? Totally not. I lean over and stare down, my gaze idling at the base before finally fixating on the panel.
+
Holy shitstickers.
“... Becca?” I call out, my voice half gone from unknown forces. She perks up and I see her reflection in the mirror with widened eyes. “Do you have five bucks? I’m gonna need more Surge.”
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Alien isolation is early the best alien game I've ever played. It does it well to. It's so true to the original design and more. I love the 70s retro future aesthetic it's one the most loving designed games I've ever played. And the game succeeds in making the alien feel powerful, unlike aliens vs predators or colonial marines where you slaughter aliens by the dozen.
The funny thing is, the weapons you’re given in Isolation are more than capable enough to kill the Xenomorph, but for some reason you just CAN’T. It makes it even stranger considering, later in the game, you realize it isn’t alone at all.
There also the fact that IT IS NOT SCRIPTED. THE XENO IS ACTUALLY SKIMPILY PROGRAMMED AND IT JUST GOES WHERE EVER THE HELL IT WANTS AND DOES WHATEVER THE HELL IT WANTS, LIKE AN ACTUAL XENO.
I’ve also come to respect that there is no queen because of a single concept: Egg Morphing.
There was a scene in the original Alien movie that got cut from most versions of the movie because it was honestly too horrifying, and only got revealed in the special edition director’s cut of the movie. It’s called the Egg Morphing scene and it’s exactly what it sounds like. During the sequence where Ripley is going and prepping the ship for detonation so she can kill the xeno and leave in the shuttle, she comes across where the Xeno had been “nesting” and.......... well just look at this shit.
youtube
When I learned about this scene, which was fairly recently, I actually went to find it isolated from the movie and HOLY FUCK it made me shiver with actual.... I dunno what the feeling was, honestly. Dread? Disgust? Horror? probably a bit of all three, but the fact that it weirded ME OUT, ONE OF THE MOST DESENSITIZED PEOPLE EVER, says something tbh. There’s a scene in Alien Resurrection a lot like this actually, which I think was what they were going for, which also has me respect that scene even more too.
So it’s overall implied that the Xeno started egg morphing people it took, then, when it had enough, started spawning more full Xenos, all without a queen because, technically, it didn’t need one. Hell, originally, there wasn’t SUPPOSED to be a Queen. The Xenomorph design was meant to be gross and horrifying by itself, they queens weren’t originally part of the design. Because as we all know, if you take out the queen, you take out the hive, making it a little less scary, buuuuuuuut then they were like “Yeah but imagine if the left overs could become a queen” and that’s when we got Praetorians and why they act like ants or termites or bees now; royal jelly evolves the pure caste and makes them a queen should the queen die.
But yeah, I really respect and love this game to death. I wonder if they’ll do a sequel because I know how it ends, but we also all know that Amanda actually does live and die of old age, and marries someone... or does she? Maybe the company made up the life she had so it gave Ellen comfort, and she actually succumbed to a similar fate as Ripley, but she’d never know.
So yeah, Isolation forever has my love and respect.
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
❮Okay so this shit was long over due and I have hit way past 100 peeps! I am so sorry it has taken me forever to make this! But below is more of a thanks, reach outs, new developments, and people I really am grateful for helping me get Junko where she is today!❯
❮First up and continuing from here are the peeps! ❯
@renxei
❮You are the first person who every followed me! Omg like seriously! I looked back at the followers and you are the first! Bee, fuck. I know we haven’t rped yet! But talking to you over the months of shit storms and intense crap I am glad we are friends! I am glad I ever met you! Like fuck dude!❯
@wearyxsouls
❮You are a just a Sap Pun and i’m just glad we are getting to rping with each other again. Holy fuck dude! You really are a good friend to me and I am so sorry if I bug you on discord or annoy you in anyway. <3 You seriously are a cool guy. <3 ❯
@pyoniumyankee
❮Fuck you you ruined my life! No, I kid I kid. I have no idea how the ever living fuck you found me, but I am sooooooo glad you did bitch! I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am when we talk to one another. RAMONA! FUCKING HOEMIE, I want to talk more always! I can’t wait for you to come back to dandy. You are no side bitch, you are a main hoe. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧❯
@portalipsis
❮How have you not run away from me Meg? I am surprised you are around me. I am 100% rotten apple who doesn’t deserve someone who is so interested in my characters or me. I usually am use to people just up and going, but here you stand, right there against the police line up. I can’t even describe it! Thanks Meg for following me and wanting to know everything about my character when I had things and ideas. You are so beautiful!❯
@poisonxero
❮BLUES fuck! I’m fucking glad we talked and IDK what I would have done without your awesomeness and greatness. You are nice and listen to my problems while I listen to your qualms and I enjoy your company. I am writing this so early in the morningmy brain is sputtering now. You are cool, I love the friendship, you are an asshole! <3❯
❮Here is the gang!❯
@gambogeish
❮Hey you! We haven’t talked in ages. I really had been wondering for a while if things have been good? I am happy for the times we talk and would love to continue since my stupid ass disappeared from the world. I hope you are doing great with your blog revamp!❯
@shsl-guardian
❮Zak, we have been recently talking. I really suck at trying to communicate because of my forgetfulness and over all dead feeling inside when I come home from work! XD I hope we can talk more in the future while we are rping and all that!❯
@nonludum
❮Gosh I know we never talked other than plotting stuff and all that jazz. We may have interacted a few times OOC, but I wanted to place you here as a thank you for wanting to rp with me. I enjoy our interactions with Junko and Celeste and hope we get more!❯
@perfectxorganism
❮SQUISHY ALIEN! I love them, I am so glad you came to me to rp! I get to play with the baby xenomorph and I get all the squshies! You are a sweetie and I would love to talk more. I know I have fallen off the earth, but I am making my way back. I am sorry about leaving may high and dry. I just had so much going on to even keep up with Junko. BUt I PROMIES YOU! My replies are coming! I have been working on them! And you are next!❯
@cielphantomhive11
❮We talk periodically when we both get online at the same time. Our rps are seemingly going well and I can not wait to se how the evolve! I know Ciel is head strong and resourceful, but he hasn’t met Junko ;P❯
@y-gun
❮BItch take me to bed! FUCK I am stoked I was introduced to you! WHY HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING FROM ME?!? Ramona should have let you out of the cellar sooner than later! I just love our chats, you are such a shit lord with your shit lord children! Cleo, pls. I am ready to be die bye your hands.❯
@tortorem
❮YOU, YES YOU! I SEE YOU THERE! I placed you on this list since we have recently met, I think you are a cool person. I NEVER SEE YAMORI’S, your portrayal of him from what I seen I do love! I am really stoked to talk to you more and just rp some good ol fashion horror rp.❯
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Beef with Alien: Covenant
I had a lot of beef with this movie, and I didn’t expect to, so it really hit me in the face and left an unpleasant taste in my mouth that’s still lingering two days later. While this wasn’t a bad movie by any means, I personally strongly disliked it and I think it marks the nail in the coffin of this franchise. My reasons why are in a spoiler-heavy review below.
The opening scene really set this movie off on a bad note, in my opinion. I felt like I was in detention sitting in this room watching what looked like a deleted scene from Prometheus they crammed in here to remind us who David is, which made his “surprise” reappearance later a total “No shit” moment.
When Michael Fassbender-As-A-Different-Android was the first person we met aboard Covenant, that was just confusing. Two different androids have never been played by the same actor in the franchise, so the fact that suddenly Michael Fassbender is playing both David and Walter was kind of “Huh?” It made me think “Well, the only reason they did that has to be because at some point in this movie we’re not going to be able to tell David apart from this guy.” That totally took the punch out of David’s sneaky “I’m going to pretend to be Walter to get off this rock” moment and the twist of “Holy shit, it’s David!” because, yeah, no shit. We saw that coming a mile away. It also meant for the first act of the movie I was trying to figure out if Walter was legit, or if it was David in disguise, or what.
Right away, the ship was met with some kind of catastrophe because of course it was. Some guy burns up in a cryo chamber and I don’t care because we have no idea who Deep-Fried is until several scenes later when we gather he’s Short-Hair-Girl’s husband and Underqualified-Billy-Crudup is now our captain. This film lacked the character development we saw in Alien, Aliens, and Prometheus, which made this feel more like some “Random Teens Get Together in A Cabin in the Woods to Be Murdered” movie, only in space.
Speaking of which, we have a totally bloated cast of characters, none of whom are developed further than a few stereotypical surface traits, if that. When everyone starts dying horrifically right off the bat, we learn everyone on this ship was married to someone else. So when a chunk of the cast dies, most of the remaining characters are left emotionally crippled because “Oh my God, my spouse just died!” Literally, if you’re not a shady android, your only options as a cast member of this film were to be an expendable spouse or a grieving spouse. This meant that every single character was making dumb snap decisions because “Ahh! The grieving!” or something. I don’t even think anyone thought it through that much, to be honest. Oh, and of course we have our two non-emotionally-crippled cast members (also married, but we don’t know that until they die later), but they’re just hanging out on a ship awaiting further instructions and have no idea anything horrific is happening because comm problems. What?
Okay, we know this is an Alien movie, which means several cast members are going to die horribly. But, could you maybe not slap us in the face by not even bothering to give us any character development at all? “Here, watch a bunch of people die in space because aliens” really isn’t what made the original Alien great. We had a competent crew with a comradery we got to see before everything went to shit, which made their motives and behaviors make sense. This was like watching an improvised Whose Line is it Anyway skit where everyone got handed a slip of paper with a vague character description, and no one had any clue what anyone else was doing. It was like Crudup’s Wife didn’t even know she was his wife and when she died he only just remembered it himself. When the two Flight Crew people were showering together that was a total surprise. Nothing about them expressed they were at all fond of each other, let alone a couple. The only relationship I bought was Short-Haired-Lady’s and Deep-Fried’s and we don’t even get his end of it at all.
When we get to the “explore a strange planet” part of the story everyone’s brains just fall out of their heads, and this is before everybody’s spouses die horribly. I mean, I get that these guys aren’t yet aware of the dangers of Xenomorphs because these are pre-Ripley films. However, this is still a strange planet they got some kind of weird message from. You would think there’d be some basic precautions like “don’t leave anyone alone somewhere because some screwy animal could jump out of a bush and bite somebody” or “don’t clomp all over strange looking spores with your big ass boots.” I mean, it makes no sense that before they leave Covenant they all pack their weapons as if they expect trouble, but then tra-la-la around the planet with no concern at all for their safety. No shit they all start dying, because everyone’s kind of stupid for no apparent reason. Examples? Alrighty.
Captain Crudup commits two horror movie sins at once by suggesting they split up so half of them can investigate the strange noise, which comes in the form of a garbled radio transmission. Captain’s Wife tries to wander off alone and is saddled with Guy with Cigarette as a sidekick. Doesn’t matter because they split up anyway and he contracts the space asthma and doesn’t let anyone know. Captain’s Wife notices Cigarette Guy’s not feeling well, but ignores it. Meanwhile Obnoxious Dude does the same thing as Guy with Cigarette in his group, going off alone and getting space asthma and not mentioning it to anybody. Captain’s Wife then decides to bring Sick Cigarette Guy back to the ship so he can spread his sick to everyone else, and Panicky Blond Girl lets them in because she doesn’t have a Man in Charge to tell her not to, ‘cause comm problems and Dipshit Captain.
Everything goes to shit quickly as Panicky Blonde Girl tries to handle a back-burster and instead makes the ship into a fiery hellhole. Luckily they have the Covenant crew waiting in the wings in case of this exact thing… oh, wait. Comm problems, so no they don’t. So, we have aliens chomping and bursting their way through this group of useless dummies, but totally-not-a-surprise!David shows up to rescue them. Except David is shady as fuck from his intro and while this is noted, no one seems to care. No one asks questions about all the corpses outside his dwelling either. Seriously, how did these people get their jobs?
The absence of Shaw was troubling to say the least, and David’s “she died in the crash” story stank of bullshit. As David’s sanity began to reveal itself to be absent and the crew got picked off one by one I wondered what the hell happened to this movie. The end of Prometheus set Shaw up to be our answer to Ripley in this collection of films, and suddenly she was unceremoniously killed off-screen between films and we get new underdeveloped characters so we can devote most of our time to David, who has become both the protagonist and the villain. Why did we skip over the cool story we were promised at the end of Prometheus to get stuck with this half-assed slasher film that basically tricked us into watching it?
I had some hope when we got back to Covenant and Short-Haired-Lady seemed like maybe she’d be our new heroine. Except Walter was clearly not Walter because Walter’s wounds healed on their own and we got a whole scene between Not!Walter and Short-Haired-Lady that revolved around her patching him up. Also, why did no one test this fucker when he came hobbling up to the ship, considering the evil twin story we’ve been dealing with since David Single-White-Female’d Walter’s hairstyle? Unfortunately our heroine is also inexplicably stupid and doesn’t figure this switcheroo out until she’s trapped in a cryo chamber being put to sleep by this crazy dude.
I’m not sure what was supposed to happen with this movie, but I know what definitely didn’t happen. We didn’t get a kickass heroine beating the odds, nor did we get a resourceful crew pitted against an unreasonable alien villain. The aliens became a backdrop for David to do his thing in as he played God and puppet-master and we sat and watched the fallout.
Alien franchise, I want my kickass heroine. I want the aliens. I want the scrappy crew. As pretty as Michael Fassbender is, I really didn’t need David to have his own movie. Maybe this direction was great for some people, but not for me. Alien: Covenant, missing the point.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok so a bt van turned up today somehow (which is genuinely a shock bc usually it takes like. a week. for them to do that normally bc bt is shit tier) and fixed the fault afaik and suddenly my internet speed’s double now? i’m sure that’s going to drop soon like always but for now i’ll take advantage and watch two episodes!!!
apologies to mobile readers if readmores don’t work, it’s p. long.
episode 3:
ok keith stop and think. you have a tracker. you said so yourself. you can track him anywhere, anytime and you’re good until the ship pulls up at the space garage and someone spots the blinky light and says illegal space ship mods void the insurance (and zethrid finds the list of legal space ship mods and that’s how the lotor crew ship ends up with space steer horns and fire decals)
“flying the castle for half my life” so she flew it before the war then? or has there been some SERIOUS offscreen time compression since the start? in which case the paladins should’ve all aged too.
she’s so CONCERNED FOR HER BOSS. like they’re really stressing that this team genuinely cares for him and each other so like i can only assume they’re all going to die horribly and he’s going to be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to prove what a #Bastard he is (or like all but one will bite it and the survivor will ally with the paladins somehow), or like zarkon will come back and say ‘kill them to prove your loyalty to the empire’ or whatever and he genuinely cares about them in return doesn’t and that’s when he sets off a galran civil war between galra traditionalists and the new lotor regime.
if yugioh has taught me anything it’s to never assume that your opponent is being stupid when they play a single card in attack mode and nothing else in their first turn it’s ALWAYS gonna be a trap.
yyyyeah this isn’t going well. i know why (and i also know that keith can do better (see the first episode where he p. much singlehandedly escapes from the science folks who captured shiro) and will do better) but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch.
“doesn’t live up the legend” lotor i swear to god.
hmm so nobody on the galra side of things knows that shiro is gone then? like i figure lotor would be able to access literally any info he wanted at this point on voltron so if they knew shiro was missing so would he. unless the galra literally did no opposition research at all on the paladins of voltron at all (which isn’t a surprise because zarkon is a moron). which another reason i think lotor maybe put himself out there as a target too soon?? like think about how much fucking damage he could do if he knew everything about them.
silent hill planet is eerie. oh god silent hill au would be scary
FORM A CIRCLE AROUND ALLURA SO SHE DOESN’T LOSE YOU
GOOD JOB HUNK GO GET HER
FINALLY fuck took long enough.
zethrid ♥
i wonder who gets to come up with the fantasy element names and what they do sounds like a fun job
god i am so ready for a hunk season. give me hunk’s backstory!!! give us more hunk!!! where he’s not just a fat joke!!!
oh fuck no allura vs lotor
oh god keith ;A;
i’ll give you this one, lance redeemed, gj getting him back on track and not letting him sink and especially for not deciding to take a potshot.
so i guess there’s no way to hack into the communication lines between the lions and the castle and even failed transmissions are undetectable by the galra ships own radar. good to know.
i cant believe she flirted with the blue lion
oh ffs i think i might be the blue lion. she doesn’t respond to allura until she’s open and honest about her vulnerabilities and that’s exactly how i am with lance.
oooh batbot i wonder if that’s a standard feature or blue exclusive
HAHA GET FUCKED LOTOR
“oh hunk” - 4
keith an onscreen apology to allura and the others would be Nice
no new animation for voltron either pfff.
so the galra don’t even have voltron’s energy signature on record as a ‘if you pick up this fucking RUN GO GO GO’... zarkon....
“I’M A LEG!” ALLURA YOU PRECIOUS DARLING
(voltron itself still looks so incredibly lame though i don’t think i’ll ever find it as cool as the show wants me to find it)
episode 4:
allura oh no that’s not a happy face.
OH NO CORAN
DON’T DO THIS TO THEM SHOW DON’T
stay away from that quintessence stuff i think it fucks with your mind
so voltron’s from a different universe?
WHAT DID WE LEARN LAST EPISO-oh thank god they’re going with her
no no NO DON’T LEAVE CORAN ALONE
ok they could be alteans. but they could also be xenomorphs, or predators, or deoxys or a hyper-intelligent mechanically augmented raptor and her babies or whatever fucked up the crew in event horizon.
god that’s eerie, same hunk
THAT’S A SKULL, THAT’S A DEAD BODY ON SCREEN
slav???
SHIRO??????
what in the heckle hackle
oh!! it’s an ‘all AUs are canon’ episode!!! i like those.
“stay back altean” uh oh i feel like this isn’t a nice AU.
those altean bots move an awful lot like galra bots.
empress????
so is empress allura dead? she talks like she is and i don’t think she’d sound so much like she’s mourning her death if they’d just never met in person. 10000 years ago is one hell of a legacy to still be remembered with such devotion and i don’t think the alteans are the type to live that long. like they’re probably space elves and long lived but they’re not immortal afaik.
how many pilots did you send lotor?
so voltron’s from this universe or - oh trans-reality. so the base ore technically doesn’t exist in any dimension it just floats around in netherspace until it feels like popping into a universe. cool.
holy fuck they’re mindslaves.
“in allura’s day” so empress allura is definitely dead.
“they’re not slaves because they don’t have will. slaves are always trying to escape or revolt” hooooooooly shit
this episode is so fucking cruel to allura as interesting as the worldbuilding is i hate it.
guns of gamara? i think? neat.
like honestly my one comfort so far is that i don’t think the allura of this universe would’ve signed off on all this. i really don’t. i think her death catalyzed altean extremism performed in her name, but i don’t think she would’ve ever been okay with this. she’s fundamentally a good person.
hahahaha i want her to go head to head with azeroth’s old gods and the void lords bring the whole order vs chaos thing to a head. let’s see how far your desire for order and your slave machines can take you against yogg’saron (oh i can see the curse of flesh messing with those ‘noncog’ machines) or n’zoth.
i love slav have i mentioned that?
oooh a whip has she used that before or is it from her lion idk. i know that’s a traditional girl’s weapon but it’s nice to see her fighting hand to hand again.
SVEN NO
GET HIM TO SPACE ER
this episode is an existential nightmare tho another one of those comets could enter that reality or an even worse reality and they just might make their own voltron and then everything will go to shit and it could happen ANY TIME
IF YOU GUYS DON’T HUG CORAN WHEN YOU GET BACK.....
LOTOR YOU FUCK
it’ll be about as powerful as voltron until y’all learn something new about yourselves and then you’ll kick its ass don’t worry. it will probably always look cooler though.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
camp-tikihama-blog
I was born ready; I was born premature.
ree56
Re6
aesthetic-derelict
Greetings and Bienvenue
nonsense-repository
Nonsense Repository