#him and Sowon are my only source of joy since 2019
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#i was going to sleep but I just broke down crying#it’s so hard guys#i wanna stay strong for him and not worry him#but I really can’t I am not strong I never been#it hurts so much#I’ve through that once but Bunny it was so sudden it was less hard#with Puppy it could go on for years which I really hope it does cause I don’t wanna lose him#but it’s so stressful thinking that any day could be his last idk how I’ll survive this#my mental state is worsening everyday I’m really trying hard to be strong but it’s impossible#he’s also the main reason why I’m still alive cause I remind myself that if I was gone he would miss me and look for me and I get better#him and Sowon are my only source of joy since 2019#losing him will be loosing a part of me all over again#he’s only 12 and all dogs his breed I know lived to 18 it’s so unfair for me I always hope it would be the same for him like Bunny#I’m sorry I didn’t wanna go all depress on here but I’m crying and couldn’t stop and no one is awake right now I need to write to calm down#I’m okay most of the time but 2 nights in a row my mom been freaking out and making me think of the worst#and now that I had a night to empty my mind Friday something happened with puppy making me terrified of loosing him#and I was suppose to go to a concert on May 7th another day that I thought I could empty my mind and it’s canceled#no one wants me to have a break thank god bestie is still coming to see me#I’m gonna cry when I see her 😭#that is if she dosen’t end up canceling for a reason cause she live far away anything could happen so she can’t come here 😔#i wouldn’t be surprise at that point I’m hoping not#now that I’ve calm down a little I kinda wanna go hug puppy but I go see him I feel like if I ’ll break down crying again 😭#i should just go to sleep and not bother him I gotta tell myself he’s okay he’s sleeping at my place cause my blanket is his favorite#and tomorrow I’ll wake up and he will be like like everyday excited to see me and i’ll hug him 🥺#alex.txt#do not reblog#tw sick pet#tw sick dog#tw pet death mention
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