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kaileah-kat · 6 years

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‘Tis a freaking AU

Hey @altruistic-skittles , heard you were in a creative slump. I decided to finish this for you. Maybe brighten your day a little :D

Grocery Store/Supermarket AU! The most basic AU you will ever see (besides the beloved coffee shop au’s). I was at work thinking of all these scenarios because I don’t really talk to anyone so my mind just wanders and we end up with things like this. Prepare for a not-so wild ride my dudes.

EDIT: HERE’S PART TWO HERE’S PART THREE HERE’S PART FOUR HERE’S A FLOOR PLAN HERE’S MORE RANDOM ISH HERE’S A MINIFIC PT 1

Logan:

He’s 21 with no sense of adventure.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 18.

He started in the pharmacy section because he’s a smart cookie.

Sadly, he’s not smart enough to understand “The customer is always right”.

He doesn’t play games. When you’re wrong, you’re wrong.

It got to a point where he had at least 10 customer complaints a week and management was very close to kicking him to the curb.

They made a compromise for him to move to a department with literally z e r o customer interaction.

The accounting office. He loves it. He’s now a smart cookie in charge of money.

But, if cashiers could sort their freaking coupons, that would be great.

Oh! He’s also Emile's brother!

Patton:

He’s about 19/20 (I’m leaning towards 20) and a sunshine bean.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 16.

He’s a cashier who everyone l o v e s.

He’s so friendly?? All the time??

Management used him as an example for Logan all the time.

He sorts his coupons. Just for Logan.

Patton loves children and he loves the fact that he can offer them stickers.

Once, a child denied his sticker. He was a little upset.

He’s not allowed to do re-shops anymore because one time he ended up re-arranging the entire cereal aisle by color.

His one task, which was to put the cornflakes back on the shelf, was never completed.

A local dad friend to every minor working in the store.

He also knows ASL just in case someone’s deaf because oh boy he isn’t missing a chance on any customer interaction.

Also, he’s Virgil's brother!

Roman:

He’s 18. Look at him thrive into adultery adulthood.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 16.

Forgot a thing: every minor starts as a cashier. 15? They have to stay there until they’re 16. 16/17? Great! As long as you’ve been a cashier for 6 months, you can move departments! Only to certain ones though, lets not get crazy.

Roman stayed a cashier until he was 18. People are cool, he doesn’t mind interaction.

He got bored and decided he wanted to move to the bakery so he can decorate cakes in excessive amounts of edible glitter.

He lets his creativity f l y.

When someone has an ordered cake, you better know he’s making that cake so that it exceeds expectations.

Sometimes frosting mysteriously “goes missing”.

He eats it in the cooler. He hasn’t been caught yet.

Makes the best frosting flowers. They look almost like real flowers, it confuses everyone.

However, he can’t write words on a cake to save his life.

Virgil:

He’s 17. He’s small and needs to be protected.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 15.

He’s selectively mute because of social anxiety so clearly putting this child on a cash register is a g e n i u s idea. However, it’s the law, he has no choice.

He’s also half of the reason Patton knows sign language because he loves his brother damnit! If Virgil is anxious in a public space and he doesn’t want to use his actual voice that’s a-okay!

The front end cashier managers will also accommodate so if Virgil needs to chill and do some back work (like re-shops or cleaning the registers that aren’t in use.) then that’s fine. There is one manager that can choke though, but we’ll talk about him later.

When Virgil turned 16 and was officially 6 months on register he freaking b o o k e d i t to management to see if he could move to accounting. (In the back where it’s quiet and the only person he’ll have to speak to is Logan? Sounds amazing.)

Sadly, the lad has to be at least 18 to be back there.

Virgil settled for grocery. Still has customer interaction? Yes, but a lot less of it.

He still rarely talks and when people ask him where something is he generally gestures for them to follow him as he leads them to the item.

Belial (Deceit):

He’s 27 and can c h o k e.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 17.

He’s one out of the four front end managers.

Every single employee hates him with the passion of 1,000 burning suns.

How did he get a manager position? No one knows.

Has made cashiers cry (mainly Virgil minors, and one super buff guy with a goatee).

Everyone thinks it brings him joy. Hint: It kind of does.

It tends to be his way of doing things, or the high way.

All in all? A despised human with a snake tongue.

Emile:

He’s 27 and a legend who we will love and appreciate forever.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 16.

He’s the Human Resource REP. and loves his job. Sometimes he wants to put his head through a wall, but he loves his job.

He wants the best for every single employee, except one.

Makes puns and pop culture references way too often.

Most people don’t understand what the hell is going on when he starts.

When a pun is made you can hear Logan groan from the accounting office.

Remy:

He’s 26 and sassy as h e l l.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 19.

He works in asset protection (aka: security)

He has all the receipts and tea sweetie, he knows you were trying to steal that lipstick.

He doesn’t play games. (Okay, well, he knows Roman eats some of the frosting. But he lets it slide. He would do the same thing.)

He lives off of coffee. His coffee cups seem to be everywhere.

“Alright Felicia, here’s the deal,” “My name is Carol.” “Honey, sure it is.” -every conversation with someone trying to break the laws of the land.

Thomas:

He’s 29 and somehow not losing his damn mind.

He started working at this random store with no name when he was 15.

He’s the store manager, look at him t h r i v e.

He wants the best for every employee, even the one with a snake tongue.

Why he doesn’t fire Belial has been a mystery for years.

Treats everyone in the store like they’re part of his family bloodline.

Everyone would 100% cry if he ever transferred to a different store.

Alright, this is long. Tune in for part two where we’ll talk about how they ended up applying for the nameless store, more about how they interact with each other, shipping :o, etc. I might only do that if this goes well though... who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#sanders sides #sanders sides au #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #remy sanders #tis mine #supermarket!au

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kxlebcross · 4 years

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multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really.

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

#kush speaks #ask memes #thank u for asking!!!! i had fun answering those actually #kuwentista #answered

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