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angrylizardjacket · 5 years

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ask your destiny to dance [11] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

The second worst part is that Kristin is so nice. She’s bright, and sweet, and she ‘loves that shirt where did you get it from? You made it, oh that’s so cool! I could never do something like that you’re so talented!’ She’s so earnest, barely nineteen, and she clings a little, to Roger when he’s around, to Ash and Mary, because they answer her questions; she’s starry-eyed when she stands and watches the band through the glass of the sound studio window. She doesn’t know a lot about music, but she knows enough to appreciate the work they’re putting in.

The worst part is that she takes a liking to Ash.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to talk so much, I’m just nervous, you know?” And Kristin’s smiling a little distractedly as she watches Roger play. “I mean, I only met him a few weeks ago-” and she keeps talking but Ash’s brain short circuits; she’s not just a girl he picked up at the bar, she’s a girl he invited to the bar to watch him play.

“Could I talk to you for a second?” Ash asks, standing abruptly, holding out her hand to Kristin. The other woman takes it, and Mary shoots the ginger a supportive smile.

Ash wants to tell Kristin to run as far as she can, wants to warn this kind-faced girl about what Roger was capable of, wants to tell her that he basically admitted that he still wants to hook up with Ash not forty minutes ago, but as soon as the door swings closed, Kristin starts.

“I know you’re friends with Roger,” she starts, a little sheepish, and Ash’s eyes go wide, “and you’re protective of him or something like that, but-”

“No, not at all!” Ash blurts out, realising she’s still holding Kristin’s hand. “It’s you I’m worried about, darlin’.” It’s takes a long moment for Kristin to process Ash’s words, wide-eyed. “Roger can be,” Ash takes a moment in the silence to choose her words carefully, humming as she turned each over in her mind before settling on; “fickle.” Run fast, run far, he mind yells, but Ash is already feeling selfish for thinking it; she’s told him she’s going to try and keep it platonic from now on, she shouldn’t try and scare off someone he’s a little serious about.

She’s not jealous.

If she keeps telling herself that, maybe she’ll believe it, maybe she’ll stop feeling like her emotions are betraying her.

“Fickle?” Kristin’s brow furrows, and her expression turns soft. “You’re worried about me? Oh, Ash- can I call you Ash?” She asks nervously, not at all patronising, and Ash lets herself grin.

“It is my name.”

“I promise I can take care of myself.” Kristin assures her, but the horrible thought flashes through Ash’s mind, that August would adore her, Ash knows immediately that she has to keep Roger from hurting her while they’re together.

“I’m sure you can.” Ash gives her a kind smile, forcing herself to relax. “I just wanted to say my peace.” She said, and Kristin gives her fond smile, squeezing her hand as a reassurance, before they head back into the recording studio.

“You two... seem to be getting along.” Roger doesn’t sound like he likes that, eyes zeroing in on where the girls hands are clasped, and Ash gives him a sunny smile. He narrows his eyes further, plopping himself onto the other end of the sofa from Mary. Kristin lets go of Ash and immediately makes her way over to him, sitting in his lap, and something in Ash’s chest tightens painfully, smile dropping as he wraps an arm around her.

“She’s just being kind.” Kristin assures him, and Ash is pretty sure she sees a sarcastic response pass through Roger’s mind, but he bites it back.

“She’s good at that when she wants to be.” He says instead, quiet, apologetic smile on his face when he makes eye contact with Ash, and the girl in question just gives a jerky nod, turning to watch John begin playing.

“Yes, our Ash can be a sweetheart.” Freddie says from his seat beside the sound engineer, and Ash gives him a grateful smile, and he gives her a nod of acknowledgement, smile reassuring.

“A downright sap, sometimes.” Mary calls from the sofa, despite the fact that they both knew she’d never seen Ash as anything less than a dry-humoured bartender, though Ash still feels her cheeks heat up, embarrassed.

“Okay, okay, thanks I think she gets it.” And when Ash turns back, Kristin and Roger are quiet, her head on his shoulder, both looking up; she’s looking at Deaky, looking relaxed and content, and Roger is looking at Ash, a little confused.

“I don’t want to get into another argument.” Roger says it around a cigarette when Ash joins him outside for a smoke. He’s restless, both from the tension he can feel crackling from Ash, and the fact that they’ve yet to strike gold in the recording studio.

“I just don’t know how you could say all that to me while you knew she was in the next room; you’re dating her, aren’t you?” She doesn’t light up her own cigarette, just shoves her hands into her jean pockets. Her voice is hollow.

“I’m sorry.” It’s the most sincere he’s sounded so far, and the silence that follows feels like eons. “I’m sorry I said what I said; about the standards comment and everything else, okay? After what happened with August, we were good, weren’t we? Not back to... to whatever we were before, but we were good. I miss that.” I miss you, he thinks, but he can’t say it. “What happened?”

Ash can’t open her mouth because she knows if she does, she’ll say exactly what she’s thinking, that they were good, but she watched him pick up Kristin at her bar and she was hit with how much his words had hurt her, and how much it hurt to have proof of him spending the night with someone else.

“I guess I’ve just been bottling up being mad about that comment you made.” She lied easily, shrugging, not meeting his gaze. “You are dating her, aren’t you; you’ve been together for a few weeks now.” And Ash isn’t sure which answer will hurt more.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He seems a little uncertain, and he’s reached the end of his cigarette.

“She’s good.” Ash says, quiet enough that Roger almost doesn’t catch it, and when he goes to comment, she looks up, smiling a little too brightly. “We’re good, for real.” He thinks for a moment that she’s correcting her earlier statement, but he’s not quite sure, and she reaches out to rest a hand on his shoulder, and he’s frowning, confused. There’s a sincerity in her eyes that he can’t help but believe, and as soon as she can see he believes her, she’s turned and headed back inside.

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” Ash walks in as Freddie is pacing, listening to a playback of himself. As if working off muscle memory alone, he moves in to give Ash a distracted side hug, before letting her go. Ash herself is a little distracted, and she makes her way over to where John’s sitting by the sound engineer, deep in thought. She rests her chin on his shoulder, uncertain of what else to do, and he pets her face comfortingly as a form of acknowledgement.

They’re so close to gold it’s almost painful, and she watches Freddie, restless, step back into the recording booth. Stepping back, Ash listens as he sings, hears the door open and close but doesn’t turn, just gives her best friend her full attention, and seeing her there, less troubled than earlier, bright and focused on him, Freddie’s own focus intensifies.

“What if we bounce it left and right for the ‘ah-ah-ah’s?” He suggested on the next playback, resting an arm on Ash’s shoulder, frowning at the soundboard. They listened, Freddie’s voice sliding from the speaks on the left to the right, a little hypnotically.

“And then centre for the last one!” Brian says, eyes bright, filled with a new energy, coming up and leaning on Ash’s other shoulder, to which she couldn’t help but grin, feeling the electricity crackle through the air as they listened back to the recording as they experimented on it.

“And blast it!” Roger cries; and there it is, coming together, gold.

Freddie picks Ash up, spinning her around, ecstatic, before he’s turning and reaching for Mary. They’re bottling lightning from the moment they step back into the studio, experimenting with their sound, and it’s like a weight has dropped from everyone’s shoulders, tension leaving only to be replaced with elation and excitement. Ash throws herself back onto the sofa between Kristin and Mary, positively beaming, and Mary wraps her arms around Ash, pulling her in for a tight hug, while Kristin tapped Ash’s leg with excitement.

Everyone’s up, down, and all over the place; at one point, Ash is on Brian’s shoulders with a tambourine, and then she was pulling the change from her wallet, pouring it onto the drums, along with the others, and she and Kristin were botching the cha-cha to a playback of Modern Times Rock ‘N Roll as Freddie and Mary were stepping through a surprisingly good jive, and the other three were bopping along; Roger grinned as he watched Ash dance. Actually, she realises, he’s probably watching Kristin; she doesn’t dwell on it.

The night was growing later, and they were still working as Kristin called it a night, and Ash had her head in Mary’s lap as the boys were in the recording studio, trying to record with a bucket over the microphone, and Mary was nodding off against the back of the lounge but Ash felt electric. Men in suits come in asking for a demo, but she’s too wrapped up in the music being made to even really register them. They leave with a demo of the recording before she’s even fully realised they were there.

“Where’s Kristin gone?” Roger asks, eyes bright as he moves to the sofa. Ash pulls her legs back, making room for him, before she puts her legs in his lap without thinking, neither of them really register it, it feels like it always has, and they’re smiling at each other.

“I think she went home.” Ash told him, and Roger’s gaze slides to Mary, something fondly amused about his expression. His hand is on Ash’s thigh and something inside her feels sated.

“I think Mary’s about ready to call it quits too.” He mused, voice getting a little quieter as to not disturb her, before he looks back at Ash. “I appreciate you being cool about Kristin.” He said, and Ash rolled her eyes.

“Well I wasn’t going to flip out, that’s a pretty dead giveaway that something did happen between us.” Ash’s voice was light, she seemed more exasperated than anything else. Mary makes a noise in her sleep, and for a moment, there’s fear in Ash’s eyes that she had heard what Ash had said. Roger is quiet for a long moment, his expression nervous as he looks at Mary, and his hand begins to move in a comforting rhythm against Ash’s thigh. She doesn’t seem inclined to move or to ask him to stop.

“You guys sound so fucking good.” Ash finally breaks the silence, tension dropping as she beams at him.

“Well we’re glad to have you with us; our unofficial mascot.” He muses, and Ash smacks his arm, snorting out a laugh. “Fine, not a mascot, our... what do you do for us?” He asked, which only made Ash laugh harder. Mary made another noise, and Ash pressed her lips together, stifling a guilty laugh as she sat up, moving her legs from beside Roger to sit next to him, legs tucked up onto the sofa. He kept his hand on her thigh.

“I serve you drinks and lend Freds my clothes,” she clarified, and Roger nodded as seriously as he could, the two of them looking through the window to see Freddie and John waving about card board tubes as Brian was fiddling with the amp.

“So you’re our costumer?” He asked, and Ash made a thoughtful noise, smiling at the notion.

“Only if I can dress all of you-” and as she said it, Roger’s hand slowed, coming to rest at the top of her thigh. Ash’s smile became a little tight. “Of course I was going to be cool about Kristin.” It’s so fucking pointed it hurts both of them a little, and he folds his hands in his lap.

“Of course you can dress us, I’d look great in sequins.” He mused, tone still bright and amused, and Ash snorted, rolling her eyes.

“You give yourself too much credit, Rog.” But there’s still a tension there, and Roger turns to her, eyebrows raised, and his answer is so automatic that he doesn’t register it until the words are out of his mouth.

“Ash, look at me, look at my face; I look good in everything, I even look good in nothing.”

Ash can feel in this instance that she’s at a crossroads; her mouth goes dry, and she has to look away, something in her chest tightening.

“You’re really doing this? You really decided that that was what you needed to say right now? God, you’re an idiot.” She gives a humourless laugh, standing.

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” He tries, but she just shrugs helplessly.

“You are who you are, Rog, I get it.” And she started collecting her things. “Just try not to act on your instincts, for Kristin, okay? She’s good. I’m going home, it’s late.” And she gives him a tired smile. “Tell the others I said goodbye; I am really proud of you guys.”

Roger nods, giving her a weak smile, and watches her leave.

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agentdammers · 6 years

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Grand Torchwood Rewatch 1x12 & 13

IF YOU FALL I WILL CATCH U I’LL BE WAITING........ T I M E A F T E R T I M E

One season down...... It’s a Finale Double Whammy, just as it aired back in 2007! Crumbs of Jack Lore drop into our laps, some absolute plot bullshit takes place, an old man is there!!! fuck it let’s get this over with

content warn: pisstaking, fun having, oh! plot bullshit!, i absolutely lose my fucking mind, Owen Harper!!! I Won’t Hesitate Bitch

1x12 “captain jack harkness”

- a thought before we dive in, but man owen gets A LOT of story stuff over the course of the 2 seasons he’s in right??? like more story stuff than ianto and tosh combined. interesting

- AH FUCK!!! A VOTE SAXON POSTER. REMEMBER WHEN?

- so..... here’s a thing. “Ohhh people have heard music from a derelict building! better send torchwood in!” how... does that come about? Could it be squatters or something??? fuck it, let’s send in a Secret Government Agency! they’ll sort it out. i mean we don’t know what they do exactly but i imagine at least one of them is a ghostbuster or something lmao, whatever

- OH NO THIS CREEPY OLD BITCH!!! i forgot how scary he looked!! god, this dude must be a million, or a vampire, or likely both

- tosh’s eyes get SO BIG WHEN THAT GUY ASKS HER TO DANCE I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! she’s the best one!!!!!!

- wish i could wipe this episode entirely from my memory because that fucking reveal when the Real jack harkness introduces himself? F U C K

- speaking of tosh, finding it extremely unconvincing that she, a tech nerd, would go out with a laptop with an almost completely flat battery... like, c’mon. she would be prepared

- Gwen cooper, a fully adult woman: haha me and my friends;;;; came here 4 a dare;;; cos its spooky lol....

- the camera on this show has me fucking SCREEEAMING “He wears a cravat.” THERE’S A DRAMATIC SLOW MOTION ZOOM IN ON THIS GUYS FUCKING CRAVAT AND THEN ON IANTO’S FACE LOOKING AT IT AND ITS ALL IN FUCKING EARNEST LET ME DIE!!!!!!!!!

- the dance they’re at is called “KISS THE BOYS GOODBYE DANCE”, which is what my finishing move would be called if i was a character in a fighting game

- ianto and owen slapfighting over their shit girlfriend experiences fucking owns genuinely lmao

- tosh pops the top off a tin and then cuts her hand open on the obviously blunt fucking lid?????? jesus christ

- “I’m tired of living in awe of the rift!!!” .....................first i’ve heard of it. I love that owen is talking as though the rift has been a major fucking factor throughout the entire series up until this point, rather than a thing that’s just been vaguely fucking referenced as the reason why a bunch of weird shit just seems to happen in cardiff. no, im not standing for this. You can’t pull out the rift at the eleventh hour and then talk about it as though it’s a Hugely Important plot device when the biggest role it’s had over the stretch of the entire 11 Whole Ass episodes prefacing this was to allow the plane to come through in “out of time”. y’all have barely mentioned the rift this entire time and now you want to act like its the hellmouth??? eat my ass!!!!!!

- and continuing on that note: apparently they’ve had a machine that can manipulate the rift in the hub......... the entire goddamn time. but no one thought to MENTION it i guess!!!!!!!! pfft, why would THAT be important??? right???? right?????

this plot bullshit almost makes me feel bad for how harsh i was about “cyberwoman” but, i will admit.... despite this Absolute Fucking Nonsense, i do find the jack and tosh storyline in this episode really fun and interesting. its just unfortunate that all the stuff arrrrround that is some kind of fic scrawled in the back of a kid’s math book.

- also the size of owen’s fucking NADS in this episode!!!!!!!! “Don’t compare yourself to me.” SAYS MAN CRYING OVER THE GIRL HE KNEW FOR ONE (1!) (SINGULAR) WEEK!!!! as opposed to ianto’s longterm girlfriend being turned into a monster and eventually murdered by his own team!!!! Like, i understand that’s owen’s problem actually goes beyond that, and its not so much about diane herself but about the fact that he let himself feel close to someone again after his fiancee died but for us, The Audience, watching this as it airs... we haven’t unlocked owen’s tragic backstory yet. and without knowing all that it just makes owen look really bad and like a huge fucking tool lmfao.

- NEVERMIND THE END IS GAY AND SAD AND Y’KNOW!!!!!! i am a man of simple pleasures, at heart, and so... i’ll let it slide. jack meeting his namesake knowing that he’s going to die and them having a moment is more of the kind of emotional content we would get in episodes of doctor who, and its Just Right

- in honesty, theres a bunch of stuff about this ep that i DO like. that tosh gets a prominant role for a change, while gwen gets to do fuck all. the whole Real Jack story. owen gets shot and pops a tit out at the end. its just unfortunate thats its all wrapped up in this rift thing thats been wheeled out last minute for a Big Season Finale with no real foreshadowing or build up to it at all lmao. but, moving on...............................................................................................

1x13 “end of days”

- RHYS BUNS DETECTED, A SOUND WAY TO KICK OFF ANY EPISODE

- lovely reading voice ianto’s got..... i also like owen acting up to make sure we know that they remember him being shot in the shoulder last episode lol.

- “owen, if you open the rift you’ll break it” (owen opens the rift anyway) “owen, you opening the rift broke it” (owen GASPS IN DISMAY, ME??? REALLY?) yes bitch open your ears

- “So are we going to sit around crying into our lattes or are we gonna do something about it?” OWEN..... IS THIS. SUPPOSED TO SOUND BADASS I.... GENUINELY CANT TELL? IT SOUNDS BAD, OWEN

- jack was so likeable last ep now he’s a DICK. gwen calls him out on how he talked to owen and he’s really fucking catty at HER for no reason at all????

- i haaaaaaaaate this scene in the hospital where a Mystery Illness has all the fucking symptoms of the bubonic plague but apparently every doctor in the entire hospital never did high school level history and are all incapable of recognising it. if fucking *i* know what symptoms of the bubonic plague are im sure they didn’t need Absolute Brain Genius Owen Harper who is seemingly the only person with any sense in cardiff to come in and diagnose it. i also hate how owen just like casually mentions to the doctor yep, this is caused by people falling through time dude yknow!!! like they do!! expect more of this to keep happening probably idk!!

- “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU OPENED THE RIFT WITH THIS MACHINE WE HAVE THAT’S FOR UHHHHHHHH UHHHHHHH OPENING THE RIFT *big fuck off galaxy brain*” thats basically this episode.

- i love that owen has followed jack all this time but NOW in a crisis is the time to actually lose it and start questioning his authority bc they dont Actually know who jack is like???? you’ve been fine not knowing this entire time before??? thats not to say that jack isn’t an entire dumbass himself. he expects them all to follow him blindly and its so creepy. he’s like a cult leader, and as they all have Torchwood Stockholm Syndrome that ive mentioned in previous episode run downs they’ve all just gone along with it.

- owen having a little cry on the way out is such a Good scene bc he puts on such a brave and defiant front tho 💕💖💘💕

- i dont know why the really quick flashback to diane flying off in the plane made me lose my fucking mind, its just like “LMAO IN CASE U FORGOT: SHE WAS THE PLANE LADY. I KNOW SHE WAS ONLY IN FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES, BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.”

- gwen for fucks sake!!!!!!!! not again!!!!! after all the cryptic shit and lies she’s told rhys up until this point, she now knocks him out and locks him in a cell and STILL offers no explanation. this poor fucking dude!!!!!!!!! and it’s about to get even worse for him...

- the way gwen screams “RHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUURRRRRSSSSS”

- YES EVERYONE REBEL AGAINST JACK!!!!!!! FUCK THIS DUDE!!!! you’re doing what a creepy old dude who is Absolutely Definitely evil wants, but still

- why does gwen start doing shit on the computer when toshiko, the computer expert, is standing right there, like.............

- JACK TRYING TO SMACKTALK TO ENTIRE GANG LIKE HIS OWN CLOSET ISN’T CHOCKFUL OF FUCKING SKELETONS

- i forget, does anyone know jack’s immortal apart from gwen? or was it just the shock of owen actually Shooting Their Boss? the only onscreen death i can recall of his after suzie shot him was in “cyberwoman”

- god, minutes ago they were all like FUCK JACK!!!! JACK DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SAVE US AFTER ALL!!! and now theyre all crawling back asking jack to save them all from cgi pig Ganon and its just..... a lot to happen, over the space of about half an hour.

- the ending is so anticlimatic and also why does sucking all the Yummy Life Energy out of jack make abaddon die?????????? Though in its defence... after like 3 bowls of cereal, i too am like OUCH OOF MY BONES

- aaaaaaaaaand rhys is back! will he get treated any better from here on out? i dont remember!!! guess we’ll see.

- bit much of gwen who’s actually known jack the shortest time of them all to be like NO, let ME be with him uwuwuwuuw

- ahhh!!! ianto smelling jack’s coat ;_;

- aaaand jack’s back too. AND HE GETS TO HOLD A CRYING OWEN? FOR ME? oh you shouldn’t have! this Almost makes up for all that rift plot bullshit (almost. i still know what u did.)

- ANDDDDD OH SHIT. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GOOD ENDING. HERE COMES THE TARDIS. FUCKING YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...............................and there it goes. one season down. sorry this one was so long!!! i love and appreciate anyone to takes the time to read these posts. thank u!!!!

#grand torchwood rewatch 2018 #LONG POST #i got mad abt plot shit A Lot during this finale

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