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bropunzeling · 6 months

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director's cut of your choice of scenes from the elopement timestamp :)))))

hello from the airport :)))) here is matthew and brady's conversation aka a secret fave scene of mine:

"Dude, you're so wound up," Brady says as they go through a bucket of pucks at Centene. The ring of the posts and their muffled curses fill the rafters. "Are you stressed about something? What is there to even stress about?" [this scene had two goals. one was more sibling/ratfam content (since its very lacking from the original works for obvious reasons) and the other was to get to the point at the end of the conversation. i decided that brady needed to be the guy because (1) i like writing him (2) matthew would actually open up to him and (3) because he's already been married for a couple years/is gonna be a dad/etc etc it adds this nice, your sibling is further along than you (helpful, rather than anxiety provoking)]

Matthew’s shot goes off the post and rolls away. He curses. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh." Instead of grabbing a new puck, Brady leans on his stick. "Try me." [matthew has not acted like this since the summer of 2022 and brady is not stupid]

Matthew takes another shot, straightens up. Brady’s still looking at him, flat and even. God, he’s not gonna move, is he.

Giving up, Matthew checks the rink—safe, Leon went off to hit the bike five minutes ago and no one else is around [one of my editing points was reminding myself of the secrecy! like obvs they are not as horribly repressed and not telling anyone anything as they were in meet me halfway, but like, leon's reputation matters to both of them and neither want to test and see what would happen if it came out that they were dating. theyre admittedly sloppy, but it’s still a thing they think about]—and then says, in a low voice, "I asked Leon if she'd ever want to, uh. To marry me."

Brady sucks in a breath. "You proposed?"

Matthew shakes his head vigorously. "No. No. [i mean, you kinda did.] I didn't mean now, I meant in the future. Someday. You know."

"Sounds like you proposed,” Brady says, much too loudly. The whole building might have heard him.

"I didn't," Matthew insists. "All I wanted was for her to think about it, you know? I wasn't going to—to spring anything on her." [me on my relationship soapbox like SURPRISE PROPOSALS ARE SHITTY AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT IT FIRST] He clutches at his stick. "Just—I wanted her to know that I was serious, and see if she'd also want that, and now it's been like four days, and she hasn't said anything, and I kind of think I fucked something up. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. What if I scared her off?"

"Dude. Breathe." Brady's infuriatingly calm. [the contrast between brady's general inflappability and matthew's anxiety is always funny to me.] Matthew glares at him. "I doubt you fucked anything up."

"You don't know that.”

Brady shrugs. "Okay, no, I don't know for sure, but like—you can't really think you scared her off."

"It's happened before," Matthew mumbles. [obvi like -- they are pretty good and over the events of The Battle of Alberta, Playoffs Edition; it's been years. however, that won't stop matthew from being anxious! last time he thought they were on the verge of a relationship upgrade leon ghosted him! he doesnt want that to happen again] He doesn't want to stand here while Brady looks at him with that calm, know-it-all expression. Maybe he'll go collect some pucks. He heads towards the goal.

Skates scrape behind him. "Matt." When Matthew looks over his shoulder, Brady’s trailing behind him with the bucket. "She’s stupid in love with you." [one of the fun things about this time stamp, along with everything, was finally getting to let this version of leon be stupid and romantic and overcome by her own feelings. she's soooooo gone.] At Matthew’s glare, Brady rolls his eyes. "I was there when she showed up last summer, remember? I think I'd know." [another fun thing was dropping bits of Lore that im not sure will ever become a proper cleaned up ao3 time stamp, and this was a big one i wanted to hit!!!]

Matthew bends down and grabs a few pucks out of the crease. He hadn't actually been awake when Leon had shown up in Florida last summer; he hadn't been expecting her. They had agreed, after the Oilers got knocked out, that she'd wait to come out until after the playoffs were over. She had to close up her house; debrief the season with Connor. And—they'd fought about it, over the phone, more yelling than there had been in a long time, but Leon had asked how he'd feel if he was there watching from the sidelines while she won the Cup without him. If he'd really be all that happy for her. [it was important to me to hit this because obvi we see the opposite in meet me halfway - matthew checking in and gone even when leon beat his team - but crucially they never did get to this point, and im not sure matthew ever thought through what it would look like if leon HAD made it that far. mr hiding in the garage when the cup was at his house probably wouldn't have handled it well! and like - even if they are in love and in a relationship, they are still the same fundamental people who are competitive and desperate to win and hate to see other people get what they want. so of course they fought.] [obvi my solution to this tension is in 5 or so years they play on the same team, win cup, put baby in cup.]

She'd apologized the next day, but she'd made her point, too. When she booked her flights for late June, he hadn't argued.

Then his sternum got cracked. Mom and Dad had to drive him home from the rink and help him out of his own clothes. And when he woke up after a miserable night, it was to find Leon asleep sitting up on the bed next to him, holding his hand like it was a lifeline. It wasn't until later that he'd gotten the details out of Mom—how Leon had shown up at two in the morning, exhausted and incoherent and making a beeline right for his bedroom. How she wouldn't leave, even when Mom tried to insist she go find an actual bed and get some sleep. [(a) she was doing so bad. (b) this is absolutely the tipping point for matthew's people to be like oh shit this is a big deal thing, as you can see with the below]

Matthew had spent the next few days thinking mostly about how much his chest hurt and how badly the team was playing, but he also noticed the way Brady and Leon had quietly teamed up—to get him out of bed, to get him dressed, to get him to the arena. [there is a whole unrealized scene in my head of them watching matthew suffer during game 4 on the couch and both are like, quietly so fucking stressed out for him, and it’s this little moment of quiet bonding and acceptance where its like you love him, i love him, we both wish he wasn't on the ice right now] Once he got past the self-pity, he’d found it pretty funny. However Brady had felt about Leon before—and Matthew was pretty sure that feeling wasn't acceptance, no matter how much Brady tried to hide it [brady really did not like leon after the Events of rob thomas' party. as soon as he connected the dots that girl matthew has been moping over for months = leon draisaitl, leon was fully on his shit list. he definitely headhunted her that whole next season]—apparently Matthew breaking himself could smooth over almost anything.

"Listen," Brady says now, leaning against the net and holding out the bucket for Matthew to dump pucks into. "Do I think she was a dick when she ghosted you? Yeah. But she's fucking crazy about you now. You can't miss it."

Matthew drops a handful of pucks into the bucket with a clunk, then heads for the boards. "Okay, but like—she hasn't said anything," he says. "What if she doesn't want to?"

"What? Get married?"

Matthew nods. [crux of the scene!】

Brady skids to a stop by the boards. "I don't know, man. I mean, maybe she doesn't because she thinks it's too soon. Or maybe it's not that big a deal to her. Half the guys from Europe do the whole, you know. The partner thing." [matthew: spiraling. brady: repository of reasonable takes] He shrugs. "I guess the question is, if she wants to be with you, but doesn't want to marry you, are you gonna be okay with that?" [and here we go! so like, a Big Theme of meet me halfway/the girl!leon cinematic universe (gcu) is like, dealing with expectations and hangup and how you pictured your life going vs how it's actually going vs how you actually want it to go. and obviously for most of it this is leon's journey - reconciling hockey and a personal life, understanding that she doesn't have to shut out friends or family or the potential for partnership in order to have a career, that it won't make her lesser or softer, that it’s okay to be soft in the first place.

but. BUT. it's very important to me that matthew is ALSO going through this reexamination of his own expectations. his picture of life was not so subtly based on his parents and structured in a very particular way. and falling for another hockey player who wouldn't be staying home, who would push and challenge him and be her own independent person, naturally upends some of those comfortable images he had of his future. and this is just one more instance of him needing to look at what he imagined for himself and changing the picture to fit not what he thought he would get, but what will actually work for him and leon, what they actually want together. and here and in the next scene is when it hits that its not about the trappings but about the knowing. he doesn't want leon to push him away, he wants to know that theyre going to be doing this together, but that doesn't mean they have to do things the way everyone else does, either.]

Matthew chews the inside of his cheek. Would he be? It's hard to know. For so long, he's had that little picture of what his future looked like. Even as it changed, that part—being married, that sense of permanency—it’s always been there. He doesn't know how he'd feel if it were gone. [again the permanency is the thing. obviously i am like, in the middle of my own feelings about all this, but really it is like: you're here with me, im with you. even when we're annoying or stressed out or tired or miserable or caught covid on our romantic vacation when you were gonna propose. you're with me and i'm with you and it's gonna be for the long haul.]

"Just something to think about," Brady says after a moment. He claps Matthew on the shoulder. "But for what it's worth, I think she's pretty fucking serious about you."

Matthew hip checks him back. Brady doesn't move, the fucker. "When did you get so smart, asshole?"

Brady laughs. "Who says I haven't always been this smart?"

"You were a fucking idiot when you were thirteen," Matthew retorts.

Brady shoves him into the boards, the bucket of pucks clattering to the ice. "You really gonna bring up teen shit? Because I remember—" [brothers!]

Things go a little haywire after that, first chasing each other and then all the loose pucks scattered across the rink. By the time they've collected everything, they're both laughing hard enough that they can't catch a breath.

"Hey," someone shouts. Leon's leaning on the boards, wet hair sticking to her head and the nape of her neck. "Are we gonna go soon? I'm starving." [relatable]

"Yeah," Matthew calls back, making his way towards her. "We're done, I think."

When he makes it over the boards, Leon’s already reaching out, one hand fisting in his jacket. She yanks him closer, kissing him, then pulls back and says, "Go shower. You stink." [they would be so much better at keeping their secret relationship secret if they didn't want to make out and or fuck whenever they're within five feet of each other. alas]

"Uh-huh," Matthew says, ducking back in to kiss her again, just to see if her nose will wrinkle. It does. [gross!!!! and!!! in love!!!]

"Shower," Leon repeats, slapping his chest and shoving him towards the door. "Hey, Brady. You coming to lunch?"

Matthew misses whatever Brady says to her, but he doesn't miss when Brady comes into the locker room and snaps a towel at him. "Told you," Brady says in a low voice. Almost subtle, for him. "Crazy about you." [rip to brady, who has to witness god's most embarrassing pda every day of his summer and then deal with his older brother thinking that his girlfriend doesn't love him]

Matthew busies himself with his towel. His cheeks are warm.

#ask meme #girl!leon wip :)#ty for indulging me pls continue to indulge me

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buddieisgoingcanon2024 · 4 months

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Hello 🚩🚩🚩 anon here.

I do NOT post about the actors on 9-1-1 and I don't view their SM accounts because I'm not interested in them and I keep my blog posts strictly about the characters on the show. Please understand this isn't a hit against anyone who does since everyone is free to view and look at whatever and whomever they choose. If that's what someone wants to do with their spare time, then more power to them but it's imperative that people keep in mind there's a HUGE difference between a fictional character and a real person.

OS is not Buck, RG is not Eddie, AB is not Athena, PK is not Bobby, JLH is not Maddie, KC is not Chimney and AH is not Hen.

It's evident that somewhere along the way, all the keyboard bullies (people who hide behind their computer screens, type unsavory messages and fixate on a celebrity like they're friends) started to believe that they should have 24/7 access to actors' and actresses' lives when in fact they shouldn't because they DON'T know them at all.

I'll get off my soapbox now and get to the point of this ask.

As I mentioned in a previous anonymous ask, ABC is in the business of making a profit. They're a national network with a CEO who has to answer to their shareholders because they're the ones who invest (shareholder) or loan (debtholder) money to them so they can make money on Wall Street via dividends (investments) or interest payments (loans).

Now on to all the "theories" that have been sent to Erica as asks.

After reading through them, it seems that anons have gone from (please note these aren't direct quotes just paraphrases):

"OMG OS hired someone to handle his SM accounts"

"People in this fandom are the worst because they've made him take down his IG pictures"

"He's protecting his mental health"

While it's possible his reason for doing it could be any one of these, the truth is ONLY OS KNOWS WHY HE CHANGED HIS IG PROFILE!

The only thing anyone other than him knows with certainty is it's been changed but no one knows the reason why except for the person who changed it.

Speculation is usually wildly unfounded and one option I haven't read about why he changed it relates to his EMPLOYER, ABC. Let's be real here for a minute because sometimes an employer's restrictions, guidelines or policies and procedures cause people to make changes to their SM accounts. It's like this in certain industries (I know it's like that in the one I'm affiliated with) so my point is, ABC may have told the actors and actresses on 9-1-1 to limit their BTS content and it could be as simple as that and nothing else.

It's possible there's no deeper reason for this other than ABC wants to control what is and isn't released so viewers can't figure out what's going to happen in the 10 episodes that will be airing starting March 14th. Also, if speculators were paying attention to the limited teaser trailers that they've released so far, it's kind of obvious they don't want anyone to know anything about the upcoming season except for the cruise ship disaster.

Additionally, AB is the only person they're currently promoting so that's something else that should be taken into consideration.

Finally, the only thing I know about OS's SM habits is the stuff I've read here on 911blr and IIRC, he does interesting things with his SM accounts all the time. Like it's been posted that he'll delete all his pictures then reupload them or he'll erase everything and start over so maybe... just maybe, he's going through one of his "I feel like doing something different with my IG account phases" and that's all it is.

Either way, NO ONE knows what happened or caused him to change it but him so please, stop posting all these wild accusations without having any real FACTS!

Thanks anon for your ask/comments on the Oliver instagram mess. Very considerate of you.

#oliver stark #911 on abc

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angelt0rres · 2 years

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ok i KNOW the ask game said specify a character but i think all ur pronoun/sexuality takes on all the mash guys would be very cool :3

M*x im fucking love you thank you for the precious gift youve given me…

ALRIGHT M*A*S*H BOYS NIGHT PRIDE EDITION

Hawkeye- is malewife a gender nah but weirdly enough i think Hawk is a he/him but in a “Harry Styles wearing a skirt and nail polish in 2018 while everyone on the internet collectively lost their shit” way. He is, as if I even had to say it, a disaster bisexual.

Trapper- all around red blooded american man, he/him, not exactly disaster bisexual but bisexual with a sunglasses emoji infusion 😎. he WOULD find it funny/endearing if you used she/her pronouns like yes I am that bitch hello how may I help you.

B.J. HUNNICUT IS THE WHOLE FRUIT SALAD. Idk this is just my hc but I feel like he is definitely in a lavender marriage with Peg like they definitely are best friends and they do love eachother but holy fuck Bea Jay Hunnicut is a funny little mlm he/they I want to see him in pain

Frank Burns- he fucking sucks i dislike talking about him but I really wish they fleshed out the “secret repressed homosexual that hates himself” idea so yeah he/him passably straight on the outside little fruit tart on the inside

Charles Emerson Winchester III- Secret Repressed Homosexual that Hates Himself Prime. I am a gay Charles purist and I can and absolutely will die on this hill. who the fuck is Donna He/Him and sometimes the royal “we” just cause hes my special little guy and he can.

Henry Blake- his pronouns are they/them! actually though? I feel like Henry could pretty solidly slot into the non-binary identity. Is this based on fact? No! Its based entirely on vibes (which is arguably more accurate) unrelated but they would also wear the “Women want me fish fear me” hat without a trace of irony

Sherman Potter- now THERE is a trans man who wouldve fuckin thrown down at stonewall. he/him StraightGuy tm who just loves his wife and his horses Very Much. arent there a lot of stories of AFAB ppl dressing as men to join the army? also i hc all of his buds in Old Soldiers to be trans guys too.

Radar- whats that post that goes like “I think Radar is autistic with massive amounts of t boy swag” its really funny but I would like to tweak the narrative n this one. I think Radars mom has the type of rural homegrown wisdom where she thinks the severity of her morning sickness would determine the babies gender so she assumed Radar would be a girl so everyone got her little dresses and painted the Radars room pink but after Radar was born she just. raised her as a girl anyway? you cant exactly scrap a 1-10 year female wardrobe and buy new in Ottumwa so out of convenience he was raised as a girl but recognized as a boy. so i feel by the time he gets drafted in korea and has spent plenty of time performing as both genders he really doesnt care anymore and only prefers mens clothing because he personally finds it more comfortable. i think he would accept he/she/they pronouns and be demisexual.

Klinger- said you were a lesbian girl me too I really dont know how to explain is but Klinger is both a straight man and a lesbian at the same time. definitely he/they/she and demisexual like Radar… i feel like Klinger is your dads older sibling and Radar is your moms younger sibling. same vibes for sure but different auras.

Father Mulchahy- ive been waiting for this one (and another thank you to M*x for letting me on my soapbox) FATHER! MULCHAHY! IS! NOT! ASEXUAL! HE! TOOK! A VOW! OF! CHASTITY! TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS! Please dont feel like im coming for your neck specifically if this is your hc its totally valid to want ace representation and it would only feel natural to assign it to the character who doesnt have any relationships as a part of their backstory or characterization but I feel like only assigning Mulchahy with this role is not only some pretty upsetting ace tokenism but harmful to the sanctity of his faith and vows he took on as a priest. That being said! I think Mulchahy is bisexual (and would probably think Jesus was too) and I think you could address him with he/they pronouns but has a slight preference towards he.

Sidney Freedman- It seems like almost everyone in my post has come down with a case of the bisexual he/theys 🤒 but yeah besides Hawkeye I think Sidney would be the vocal about his identity? He could run circles around homophobes and transphobes who try to claim gay/transness to be a disease and I think his wife probably knows and supports his identity although they remain monogamous (Sidney is NOT a cheater >:( )

Thanks so much for the ask!! I hope I answered thouroughly enough and if I forgot anyone please let me know so I can hit myself really hard with a cast iron pan

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fortunatelyfresco · 3 years

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Hi hi. Loved your post about Moist Von Lipwig and narcolepsy! I’m trying to learn more about narcolepsy since I suspect I may have it, and I noticed your post mentioned several symptoms I hadn’t read about on any symptom lists (but which I also relate to strongly)—can I ask what resources you used to learn about them? Thanks and have a great day

Hello, Anon! I'm glad you liked the post, and I hope you find some useful answers.

I have been on a fruitless quest for years to figure out exactly which symptom list made me go “!” back when I was tiredly googling sleep disorders. But I will gladly give you all the resources I can think of.

1. Narcolepsy Network. Specifically you could start with their About Narcolepsy page here https://narcolepsynetwork.org/about-narcolepsy/ though I will note a couple of things:

a) They say MLST instead of MSLT, though they get the full name correct. Just good to know if you want to google it because MLST is a real acronym for a couple of other things.

b) "PWNs [people with narcolepsy] typically have no difficulty initially falling asleep." Ehhh I'm being anecdotal, but not in my experience??? I struggled a lot with insomnia before medication, and I've seen other people say the same.

I haven't scoured the site so there might be other issues, but it's the organization that jumps to mind for me when it comes to resources and information.

2. NN also has a list of support groups https://narcolepsynetwork.org/resources/support-groups/

The only one I have any personal experience with is their Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcolepsynetwork/

It's... useful. I would suggest searching it for keywords related to your questions before making any posts yourself. Most people on there are fine and I think everyone genuinely wants to help, but sometimes you'll get (unintentionally?) negative comments that don't actually answer your question. We're all tired, I guess.

At any rate this is the first place I would suggest searching things like "sleep paralysis" or "vivid dreams" or "insomnia" etc. if you're interested in hearing other people's experiences.

3. The other FB groups I have any experience with are

https://www.facebook.com/groups/NarcolepsySupportGroup/ Narcolepsy Support Group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/760324190697068/ Narcolepsy Humor

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1611167005839496/ Zebra Butterflies (Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and Narcolepsy)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1508288736139122/ Service Dogs for Narcolepsy

https://www.facebook.com/groups/narcolepsyart/ N[ART] narcolepsy art

I'm in one more for a specific medication but I'm not sure if there's a rule about linking it publicly??? And you're almost definitely not on the medication without an N diagnosis, but feel free to message me privately if you'd like a link.

I don't use Facebook much these days and I'm not really active in any of these groups anymore (so unfortunately I cannot give you a clear picture of the overall attitudes within them), including NN, but I read through the posts that show up when I check my feed. Joining these helped me learn a lot about other people's experiences with narcolepsy, and other things like sleep apnea, circadian rhythm disorders, and idiopathic hypersomnia.

If you're an active Facebook user I would recommend limiting the number of groups you join, just to avoid becoming overwhelmed by strangers' vent posts, especially if you're already nervous or frustrated about the possibility of having N. Keep in mind people are often more likely to post about bad days than good ones.

4. If you're more interested in academic sources that you could cite for a doctor (or just because), I am no expert and am Too Tired To Read Things(TM) but there may be something for you in NN's Educational Materials https://narcolepsynetwork.org/resources/educational-info/ or Conference Materials https://narcolepsyconference.org/2019-materials

5. Finally I would honestly suggest just googling "Narcolepsy [keyword]" and clicking the newest articles that look trustworthy. New research is popping up all the time. I think a lot of what I've picked up over the years was just stuff I absorbed back when I had more time/motivation to google it every once in a while and see if anything had changed.

I would say to read as many sources as you can, because most of them will get some things right and some things wrong, or just have differing opinions on things that aren't settled or are subjective, or make statements about "typical" narcolepsy cases that might be statistically accurate but not apply to some people's lived experiences.

Like, I googled "narcolepsy vivid dreams" just now and found this page, updated February 18, 2021. https://www.sleepfoundation.org/narcolepsy/symptoms

It's got some interesting stuff about hypocretin/orexin, and atonia, and other stuff. It also states that narcolepsy doesn't typically worsen with age, which may or may not be statistically supported (I don't know), and which does not apply to some people's experiences and may make them second-guess things.

It also states "People with narcolepsy fall asleep quickly". I take issue with the entire premise of that, because I think it conflates sleep latency with sleep attacks, and can cause problems for people when they take the MSLT. This page does list insomnia as a possible comorbidity, but (like most resources in my experience) does not list it as a possible symptom.

Okay that’s probably enough of my own soapbox but please do feel free to ask me more questions if you’d like! Good luck!

#narcolepsy #anon friend #i have Issues with the MSLT in general honestly #i got very lucky with a sleep doctor who just kind of went 'eh' and dxed me even though i only entered REM during two naps #'lie down for 20 minutes in a strange place and if you don't fall asleep we can't help you' is just #Such A Bad Way To Diagnose Literally Anything #and even the REM onset latency doesn't seem right to me #i've seen people say that their narcolepsy is characterized by not ENOUGH rem #and even for those of us who get too much of it that doesnt necessarily mean it happens right away every time we sleep #Anonymous

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suchalilyofthevalley · 4 years

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I’m going to be blunt with you - I don’t think you genuinely work for the media or PR as you say. You keep throwing around “facts” and then when you give us ideas (such as the 3-5 album ordeal) - you instantly back away and then change it around. If you’re supposedly a Shawn fan, you would see he is being mistreated. Even if artists have a say, you can see is mistreated by his clout team. ALL PR Stunts do not go past a whole year, so it is obvious they are setting up for a single release (1)

To build on “breakup” album. Even with the pandemic, the pattern is still there. If he isn’t breaking up with his team this year, I don’t see it going past the first few months of 2021. He is unhappy. You can tell he is a puppet. Don’t come at us for being worried and figuring out how soon it will end. There are many other sources out on the media saying this is a job/stunt and it will end soon. (2)

So first off, brave of you to hide behind an anon ask. Let’sset some facts and records straight here cause I’m not here for bullshit and I’mfar too old for fandom petty nonsense.

I’ve never said I was media. I’ve always said I worked inPR. If you check back into my gettingon my PR soapbox tag, I’ve been doing these posts since May 2011. Wellbefore my foray into the Shawn fandom. So, here’s almost a decade of receiptsprior to me stepping foot into this space talking about PR, touring, ticketing,the music industry, the PR industry.

Also, want some receipts that way with am I really a PRprofessional with oodles of experience? So, I’ve known @suzteel, @andiwontforgetyou (previously @facethefall-blog) & @whenidance for ages – helloIRL friends, all these girls have been with me through ups and downs of jobsand clients, both have been with me at events when I’m working or had access tobecause of work. We’ve gone on vacations together, been at each other’s houses,there in good times and in bad. I wouldn’t have gotten through losing my Mom alittle over two years ago without these ladies. Fun fact, D (@suzteel) & N (@andiwontforgetyou) aren’t even IN this damn fandom so there’s no point in them‘vouching’ for me for clout and L (@whenidance) is one of my best friends goingon almost a decade and knows more about me than anyone aside from my childhoodbestie. It’s my fault L is actually a Shawn fan and why we went on a massivelyinsane road trip for this kid last year. L also has been with me repeated timeswhen I’ve been with one of my former clients in a social setting.

Also, I’m not in this to become fandom famous or internetimportant. Believe me, I have like 450 followers on this blog, most of which aredead blogs from when I was around with Glee. Also, notice I never throw theseposts into main Shawn tags. If I wanted all this glory, don’t you think I’d bedoing that? It’s all based on interacting with folks who follow me or find mewho actually have an interest in this piece of the business. This is me wanting tohelp folks who have a genuine interest. I give no shits about being some bigperson in the fandom. No thank you.

I’ve also saidbefore I never went into PR for the fame of it, to be some clout chaser orto make a fuckton of cash. It’s always been about the client and their work.Always. Their goals are what’s most paramount, be it from smaller brands andtalent to some of the A-listers and Fortune 500 companies I’ve worked with.

I’ve always said I’m going to shed light on the facts of theindustry. That’s what I did here. I’ve never interjected my opinion into itbecause facts are facts and opinions are subjective. So, I’ll call out thedifferences in here below.

The album thing? I’ve got you some receipts. I’ve never waiveredthere. I’ve never been the one to say YES HIS DEAL IS FOUR and then back away. That’swhat y’all have gravitated to due to some other folks saying that was what theythought and that was their opinion. This is the firstask I got about deals from early March and here I’ll even pull it out foryou:

Yes, the number of albums is anold industry standard, that way the label actually holds you for a bit longer -however, there have been instances where it’s based off of years.

Each label has its ownnuances and how they like to approach business. If an artist is more likely tocrank out singles or an EP before approaching a release for an LP and they’retesting the waters, a contract based off of year length may be theirgo-to.

There also could beclauses that wrap both up, saying you’ll need to release X number of albums ina Y year span.

Contracting is socomplicated and so individualized, it’s really and truly hard to say in ablanket way yes THIS is how it all shakes down.

There were posts where @thotmendes mentioned some of our conversationsand said in thispost here that I had said an industry sweet spot was 3-5, and then wentonto say that SHE thought his deal was 4.

What I said in last night’s post here for reference too:

Contract terms – you’ll see some intro deals based on years with options provided to extend based on years or albums, but we’ve got no real clue as to what the terms are with Island on this specifically. Folks keep assuming it’s 4. It could be 5, it could be 6. We don’t know what the original deal was. 3-5 is an industry sweet spot, but I’ve also seen some intro deals be 6. There could be year commitments tied into those as well aka 4 albums in 6 years, etc. Each label has its own formulaic equation as to how these things piece out and it changes per label, per artist, per genre - and how that all plays out into what the marketplace is consuming/streaming/spinning.

So please do me a favor and don’tcome at me saying I’m wavering on things without receipts. As you can see here, I haven’t.

Who said PR relationships ONLY last a year? They can be asshort or as long as people feel they need to leverage. PERSONAL OPINION ON THIS:I think PR relationships are stupid, pointless and beyond reproach. If you’re apublicist and that’s what you’re leaning on to do your job to get your clientscoverage and buzz. You aren’t worth your damn salt. Especially when you’ve gotA+ level talent you’re working with like he is. Even if you’ve got Q level talent, it’s still abullshit approach IMO. The same goes for calling/hiring out paps.

I’ve never once ‘came at fans’ for having concerns or beingconcerned. I’m concerned as well. Why I’m trying to give some color to theindustry piece of it. The only thing I said inthis post last night is that I was tired of the mistruths and conspiracytheories being spun as what’s really going on. Also – where are these “sources”out in the media saying it’s coming to an end? Blind items do not count. Ragsources are fine and dandy, but they’re also not legitimate sources. Come to mewhen you’ve got something from People, US Weekly, Billboard. Even then it’ll bewith a grain of salt until we hear it directly from their team(s) aka Dvora, theshared publicist.

MY PERSONAL OPINION: I am a Shawn fan. This kid’s music and hisshows have helped me get through some of the most difficult points in my life. Myass hiked to MEXICO CITY from NYC for his last three shows of SMTT thisDecember - the crazy road trip I referenced above with @whenidance. He gives me JOY. It’s why I care the way I do, it’s why I feel likescreaming and why I want to go legit work/help this kid out. It’s why I’mconcerned and trying to share some knowledge where I can, and what’sknowledge/facts about the industry versus what’s not true about the industry.Notice I said industry because I don’t know what this kid is wading throughright now and it’s not fair of me to say YES it’s this and assume like I haveany idea. CAUSE I DO NOT. I absolutely hate this nonsense we’re wading throughof whatever the teams have going for him/with him, I’m not a fan of this. Icame to be a fan of his, not of theirs. I don’t like what’s shaking out. Do Ifeel like this is PR? Damn right I do. Can we think this may have started outmore innocently and was positioned differently than what it’s evolved to? Yeah,for sure. BUT WE DON’T KNOW. All our thoughts are conjecture here. I don’t wantto see him unhappy, miserable, not feeling creative or supported. The wholepurpose of building a team around you that you trust is for that. I’m hoping thateven in this disasterpiece shit show, he can find that inner strength to dowhatever he needs to across the board to get back to a place where he’s feelinghimself, happy and being his own best version of the Shawn he wants to be.

Also – I’m leaving anon on for now, but if y’all can’t put on big boy/big girlpants and talk/behave like adults, it’ll go off and you’ll have to show yourface :)!

#anon #getting on my PR soapbox #cause publicists don't stop working #Anonymous

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une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir · 5 years

Text

ICONOGRAPHY OF DEMANDING TANGERINE (1)

Hello.

This post is somewhat of a response to this conversation discussing Danielle Terroris and Hitler imagery through Nuremberg / Triumph des Willens at the Mereen pyramid. While I’m not an expert in any of the subjects mentioned (architecture, film making, history), I was exposed to WW2 while growing up (my father was a part-time historian) as well as through a parallel interest (aviation).

I want to make this very clear, my objective isn’t to offend anyone. However, since this post will discuss Hitler (and his cohorts) as well as Nazi Germany, it will upset people in general as that’s the nature of tackling such a beast. I tried to censor the imagery posted, so more sensible people can actually finish this without a meltdown, but there’s so much it can be done.

I tried to be neutral and succinct, but I have a tendency to rant and tangent, as well as to soapbox, so this got lengthy. I also warn everyone that english isn’t my first language and I’m often misunderstood for using words that have negative connotations unintentionally (the last time it happened was with “abortion”). Again, I don’t intend offend anyone. If you feel offended, I’m sorry.

This is the first of a series of posts about such a subject, as this isn’t the first time nor is it the last time that ASOIAF / GoT stuff which is related to Danielle / House Terroris was lifted almost in its entirety from Hitler / Nazi stuff. This isn’t about the Mereen pyramid, because I lost that post (unfortunately the lights went out and I have to redo it), which is just as bad as this one (or worse, IDK - I’m not very good at gauging that kind of thing).

ETA: 04/01/2019: I’ve rewritten this, hoping to be clearer.

S06E06 - Blood of my Blood

This is the episode where Bran has his second prophetic vision, divided into three sections. The first seems like a “summary” of some sort. The second is mostly a “detailed” flashback to Robert’s Rebellion endgame (FIRE) regarding Aerys (pyromancers decanting wildfire, Aerys screaming “burn them all”, Jaime killing Aerys and the pyromancers (and sitting on the throne), Ned at the Tower of Joy asking for Lyanna and then his bloody hands while being with her proper. The third is mostly about the Night King / Others - White Walkers / Wights (ICE).

In the very first section, there is a segment of two images which is repeated four times: a dragon flying through the sky and a dragon flying over King’s Landing (hereby called B). It’s worth noting that the second segment, of a dragon flying over King’s Landing, had already been repeated in Bran’s first vision and that D&D have commented that this is one of the most important images of the whole show.

These (B) segments are always followed by someone from House Terroris (affiliated with dragons), either Aerys screaming “burn them all” (hereby called C1) or Danielle with Drogon on her shoulder (hereby called C2). By presenting (B+C) together, this “three dragon segments” visually associates Aerys and Danielle as “more of the same”, but they also share similar themes: “threat by fire power” + “loyalty / obedience subjugation. (C1) Aerys is demanding his pyromancers to burn everyone with wildfire, while (C2) is Danielle birthing the dragons (deadly and violent fire affiliated animals) while her khalasar kneel in the background.

Moreover, ( C) is always followed by a specific Night King segment, (C1) Aerys is followed by Night King giving a “shrug” upwards and an Other - White Walker / Wight (hereby called D1), while (C2) Danielle is followed by Night King converting Craster’s son into an Other - White Walker (hereby called D2). Once again, by presenting (BC+D) together, this visually associates them as “more of the same” as well as portray those affiliated with fire and ice as “more of the same”, but they also share similar themes as above: “threat by [fire / ice] power” + “loyalty / obedience subjugation”. (C1) the pyromancers follow Aerys and (C2) Dothraki / Dragons follow Danielle, while (D1-D2) Others - White Walkers / Wights all follow the Night King). This invokes the name of the (book) series as well as the destructive elemental forces of ice and fire: The Song of Ice and Fire (a poem about the end of the world being delivered by either).

A similar argument can be made for the segment that preceds (B), as (BC1D1) Aerys is preceded by (A1) the pyromancers and the wildfire and (BC2D2) Danielle is preceded by (A2) Cat at the Red Wedding (screaming after losing her child Robb). Once again, the very nature of presenting (A+BC+D) together, visually associates them as “more of the same”, but they also share similar imagery and themes as above: (A) “madness” of (BC) leading to (D) “death / blood sacrifice”, because “only death can pay for life”. (A1) Aerys was obsessed with wildfire and the pinnacle of his madness was his wish to burn King’s Landing; (D1) is the (ice) embodiment of “death” + “blood sacrifice” - that being the natural (fire counterpart) conclusion if the wildfire had gone off > King’s Landing as a wasteland. (A2) Danielle was obsessed with the dragon eggs and the pinnacle of her “madness” is when she loses her son and the wish to hatch the eggs in Drogo’s funeral pyre (in the words, the word madness is specifically used for this moment); (D2) is the (ice) embodiment of death as well as blood sacrifice (conversion of Craster’s son into Other / White Walker) - that being the (fire counterpart) conclusion of Danielle birthing the dragons (death of Rhaego / Drogo / Mirri Maz Duur to pay for the life of each dragon).

Below is a decomposition frame by frame of this first section from a good quality video on youtube (there is at least one frame missing, but that’s youtube encoding’s fault, and I’m sure the point comes across obvious, regardless). I’ve added tags and rewrote the section above, in what I wish is a more comprehensible way (probably not).

The (BC2D2) Danielle segment is also repeated in the second section twice, though (A2) Red Wedding does not preced it and as such, it doesn’t follow the A2BC2D2 pattern. The Red Wedding does show up twice, but the scene is different since it’s Robb proper dying instead (the Red Wedding is important in these trippy visions about the struggle between Ice and Fire, because in the books Danielle sees it in her House of Undying visions, even though that has nothing to do with her whatsoever). Again, this is a subject for another post, so let’s ignore that and the rest of the “unrelated” stuff. However, (BC2D2) Danielle segment is further associated with both Aerys and "fire threat” (specifically with wildfire).

The first (BC2D2) Danielle segment is preceded first by “passage of time” and followed by a long “flashback” Robert’s Rebellion endgame, most of it about the Aerys and Jaime, as well as the thwarted Wildfire Plot. It begins with pyromancers decanting wildfire, mad king Aerys screaming “burn them all”, wildfire catching (which never happened in the past), the pyromancers putting the wildfire in the shelves, Jaime drawing his sword, Ned at the Tower of Joy, Jaime killing Aerys, Robb at the Red Wedding, Jaime killing Aerys some more (how I understand him). There’s a succession of “unrelated” segments, then we have Jaime sitting on the Iron Throne, wildfire catching once again (further than before), followed by the second (BC2D2) Danielle segment, Jaime killing the pyromancers, two more “unrelated” segments, Jaime drawing his sword against Aerys again, and wildfire catching again (even further than before).

This may seem like I’m rambling, but it’s not. In (very long) summary, these are the main things to keep in mind: the imagery of a dragon flying through the air and casting it’s shadow over King’s Landing (B - i enclose a shitty gif of it), Aerys / Danielle having “threat by fire power” + “loyalty / obedience subjugation” (C1 // C2), the “madness” of Aerys / Danielle leading to “death / blood sacrifice” (A+BC+D). There are a few secondary things to keep in mind for (C2) Danielle birthing the dragons in specific: Danielle with the black dragon over her shoulder as well as the colour composition of the scene (white / red / black), the name of this episode which is “Blood of my Blood” and Danielle with a powerful symbol over her shoulder juxtaposed with Dothraki’s submission towards her (both because of the power of this symbol as well as because she’s seen as a special one due to having birthed the dragons).

This is also the same episode where Danielle gives a speech to the Dothraki to rally them up to invade Westeros. This episode (as well as the former) was directed by Jack Bender, a reputed director who has done several heavy symbolical shows such as the Sopranos, Alias, Lost (he has... *ehem*... background in this type of stuff). He also commented on this scene in specific, likening Danielle to Hitler at Nuremberg. "At the end of the scene, you should be somewhat roused by her and a little horrified. She's not Hitler at Nuremberg, but she's got the power." The video of this scene can be seen here.

Danielle is riding with Daario and her newly acquired khalasar of 100,000, discussing the logistics of hauling their arses to Westeros. At the end of the conversation, Daario asks what they’ll do after arriving in Westeros and Danielle says that she takes what is hers, but Daario is sceptical and tells her that she wasn’t born to sit on the iron chair but to be a conqueror. Danielle ponders this, rides off in her silver and then rides on Drogon, to rally her khalasar to invade Westeros. She models her speech to match a “conqueror” more than a “leader”, as she presents her plans in a way that is fitting with the Dothraki style of life: pillaging and plundering, as well as destruction and violence. She’s met with the Dothraki’s approval.

I’ve attached the imagery used on this first portion below, as well as some observations, and made a gif about the dragon’s shadow (which I link instead of display here because of how big it is). The soundtrack for this segment, is the theme of House Terroris (or a variation of it, I can’t tell because I don’t hear that wretched thing), a theme which is both aggressive and powerful.

Danielle riding a dragon and then making her speech on top of it, is both a powerful firepower symbol, since the dragons are the “nuclear deterrent” capable of unfathomable destruction (this is the power that Bender refers to), as well as a representation of her being a messianic figure, since she (and others) believe that she is a special one due to hatching the dragons (notice that these are the same themes as (C2) Danielle with a dragon over her shoulder - it has come full circle, it’s now Danielle over the dragon’s shoulder). The contents of Danielle’s speech are rather disturbing as well and come in tandem with the themes before. She’s appealing to destruction and violence while on top of a powerful firepower symbol, based on the divine birth-right of being the pretender to the Iron Throne as the last member of House Terroris as well as the Stallion that Mounts the World from Dothraki prophecy (which she indirectly panders to when she mentions Drogo’s promise, she switches Rhaego with herself as she believes she’s the Stallion that Mounts the World). Her speech is framed by all sorts of crazy faces and screaming, which while “normal” in war rally speeches to instil aggression and raise morale, it’s also evocative of her father’s madness (notice that these are the same themes of (C1) Aerys in his madness demanding the pyromancers to burn everyone).

Furthermore, Danielle begins by declaring that all the Dothraki as her blood riders, which is a specific dothraki that has pledged their life in the service of their khal. The episode title, “Blood of my Blood” is the dothraki saying that illustrates this, as the blood rider’s blood is considered to be the khal’s own blood. She proceeds by telling the Dothraki that she won’t ask of them more than any other khal has asked their blood riders before (making the distinction between leader and subordinates clear), then explains that she wants to reclaim Westeros and asks if they will support her on this. In other words, Danielle is asking for the Dothraki to swear to her their unquestionable loyalty and total obedience from that point forward. In summary, this is Danielle appealing for unity, loyalty and obedience under her rule through their conjoined blood, FOREVER. When she’s finished, the khalasar roar their approval and raise their hands in salute towards her.

I’ve attached the imagery used on this second portion below, as well as some observations. The shooting angles that are used for this scene are meant to highlight the dothraki as an endless united yet faceless group (none of them are named characters - this is true for the Dothraki in general, especially as the plot advances) and Danielle as their undisputable leader (she’s focused alone or bigger / higher than them).

Triumph of the Will

Triumph of the Will is a nazi propaganda film directed by Leni Riefenstahl, documenting the 1934 nazi party congress that took place in Nuremberg and lasted for four days. It was neither the first political propaganda film, as those had been rolling since the previous century (an infamous example), nor was it particularly ground-breaking, as the filmmaking techniques used for it were not new either. However, Riefenstahl had talent in evocative imagery and the budget for this movie was HUGE (as it was sponsored by the government), which meant that everything was “cranked up to eleven”.

Such Riefenstahl could use her talent for symbolism as well as all the cinematic tricks of the time, all to push the Nazi political agenda and portray it exactly the way they wanted to. She did so in such an effective way, that it gained several movie awards (even in the United States). it’s considered the most effective propaganda piece ever made, not only because it has influenced many (mostly fictional) works afterwards but also because everyone today still thinks that this movie portrays Hitler / Nazi Germany accurately (think about it, a propaganda movie made by the Nazi, with the objective of passing off their ideal image of who they are, is accepted to accurately portray who they were... to this day).

As one original poster said, every single filmmaker in existence as well as every historian has seen this movie and has studied it, so they know everything that goes onto it, techniques used and themes explored. There’s actually much more than the things I’ll talk about (and I don’t even know them all), but they are useless for a framing in this context (for example, it contains stuff of identification, religion proper, prosperity, etc). If you’d like to watch this movie, there’s a link on wikipedia (just checked).

Triumph of the Will opens with a prologue, the only commentary of the film (besides a few name cards at some point), as the rest is framed through real footage alone (albeit artistically done) and sometimes some music (used in a revolutionary way in this movie, especially to draw and pander to nationalism). It then begins with flying through the clouds, until it finally reveals the bucolic city of Nuremberg. The cruciform shadow of Hitler's plane is visible as it passes over the buildings and those below. Upon arriving at the Nuremberg airport, Hitler and other Nazi leaders emerge from his plane to thunderous applause and a cheering crowd.

The objective of this airplane segment is to portray Hitler as a messiah sent by the gods, descending on the German people to grace them with salvation. Moreover, the focus on aircraft technology (propeller spinning and flight instruments, etc) as well as endless military parades, have the objective of framing the regime with powerful firepower symbolism. As a side-note, the nazi party hymn plays through this airplane segment. This hymn was composed with the intention of instilling aggression as well as raising morale and it’s about a man who was killed during the bad times (they were really bad times) before the nazi came to power, such it was meant as a musical representation of some sort of religious sacrificial myth.

I’ve attached the imagery used on this second portion below, as well as some observations. I believe the similarities of these will speak for themselves, in comparison to it’s equivalent above.

SIDE NOTE: I also enclose a gif with the airplane + shadow part because of how bizarre the similarity is (remember this and this, I wish I knew how to put them side by side) as well as the theatrical posters for this movie and it’s spiritual ancestor, Victory of Faith (also filmed by Riefenstahl, directed practically the same way but without as much detail and with more technical errors). To contextualise why I’m putting these three theatrical posters (remember this).

The colour triad red / white / black were the official colours of Nazi Germany, which they used for their propaganda posters and general imagery (they also added gold in the earlier days, for the sake of inclusion and unification for the whole population). The black eagle is the coat-of-arms of Germany (for centuries) and was portrayed in Nazi iconography as well as propaganda as an allegory for the country proper, representing their ideals and their powe and it usually showed up on top of an image to symbolise authority. Just for this movie alone (since we’re talking about it), the black eagle shows up in all of them and it two of them, it shows up over the shoulder.

The third day starts with a Hitler Youth rally, where Hitler makes a speech, describing unity in militaristic terms how the youth must become one people and that everything they do represents one nation, appealing for their unquestionable loyalty and total obedience. He proceeds to say they must harden themselves and prepare for sacrifice, because when the time comes, they will all march together for the sake of their country. I spare most of the details (he does make an appeal to a classless society as well, which will be important for another part), but at some point he says: “I know that it cannot be any other way as we bind ourselves together, for you are flesh of our flesh and blood from our blood."

The fourth day has a World War I memorial ceremony, some more military parades with the SA / SS which showcase the powerful firepower of the nazi party (the paramilitary branch of the party, not even the country’s army proper), and then Hitler makes a speech about the political purge that happened some months before. Afterwards, there’s a (religious-like) consecration ceremony where new flags touch an old bloody flag (the same cloth flag that was said to have been stained by blood of comrades that had sacrificed themselves for the cause, similar to opening song in it’s religious-like symbolism, though not the same event).

Either way, both speeches are intermingled with segments of the people acknowledging and approving of Hitler’s message, some more solemn while others very happy (the kids on the first are especially smiley), cheering him on at the end with their... special salute (obviously). Both speeches (and what comes before or after, the endless military parades and the semi-religious ceremonies) are also examples of the major themes of this movie in general: “religion / messiah” (in quotation marks, so I don’t have to discuss it properly as it’s not straight-forward), power (there are 700,000 people at this rally, with 150,000 people for the SA / SS alone) and unity (drilled over-and-over again > they had just come from a major backstabbing after all).

These speeches are visually shot with unquestionable “leader” and “faceless follower” framings. This is so delibarate that the first one is done with much less pandering to authority (the “leader” is shown with close-ups of his face), since the intent with the youth is for them to identify with the leader / party / country, so the less separation shown between them (while keeping the hierarchy clear), the better for the indocrination process. However, the SA / SS speech is the standard for any Hitler speech (and some of his cronies) in any visual media (any visual media, even in photos), which is why I used it for the illustration for the next section (it’s the only other speech done in daylight, the others are made during the night or indoors, and will illustrate other posts I’ll make).

I’ve attached the imagery used on this second portion below, as well as some observations. I will spare us all screenshots of Hitler doing his crazy faces as well as samples of his screaming voice (and I found a perfectly censored salute screenshot). as most have an idea of that is like anyway. I believe the similarities of these will speak for themselves as well, in comparison to it’s equivalent above.

As you can tell, GoT directors inspired themselves in Triumph of the Will for this scene where Danielle rallies up the Dothraki (and most likely, Bran’s vision as well, which makes that one just as sinister as this speech). The dragon entrance segment is mirrored by the airplane segment (to the point even small details were transposed, like the shadow’s trajectory or the flying rolling), while the speech itself is thematically similar to the Hitler Youth speech and visually framed like the SA / SS speech (or any other nazi media piece as they all use the same tricks). They also emulate the same major themes: “religion // messiah”, power and unity.

Even Danielle’s crazy face and screaming voice is as much of a parallel to her crazy father, as is to the unbeloved Leader public façade that nobody likes being compared to (but that Jack Bender did so, explicitly). Obviously, “Danielle is no Hitler at Nuremberg”, then again nobody in fiction is. The scale of Hitler / Nazi is still unmatched (and I believe that will remain so, fortunately) as the scope of that was immense, but that was true even for Lord of the Rings or Star Wars when they did their own... tribute.

#anti daenerys targaryen #anti house targaryen #tw: nazi

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pearlcaddy · 3 years

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What do you do to feel better when you feel insecure about your writing? Asking for a friend 👉🏽👈🏽

This got very long because I have a lot of feelings about this (hello, lifetime of feeling insecure about my writing, my old friend.)

It really depends on what exactly I’m feeling insecure about, because the ways I handle those insecurity are slightly different. So if I’m in the right headspace to examine the insecurity, it helps to sit with myself and try to poke around to find the root of it.

Overall, the main thing I try to do is remind myself that writing is a skill I’m developing, not a talent that I either possess or don’t possess. (I really dislike the word “talent,” because I feels like it frames your craft as being innate and therefore unchangeable, and also because "talent” de-emphasizes the amount of work that’s put into developing a craft.)

I’m on a lifelong journey to strengthen my writing, and I can see myself improving every time I write. For now, when my writing isn’t where I wish it was, I remind myself of this Ira Glass quote: there’s a gap between my taste and my ability, and that’s very normal. The main thing I can do to close that gap is to practice, while simultaneously being kind to myself about my need to practice.

Sometimes re-reading much older pieces of my writing helps (particularly writing I haven’t posted anywhere or shown anyone, so there’s no chance of me feeling “embarrassed” that other people have read it.) When I reread old writing, usually one of two things happens: I think it’s good or I notice things that aren’t great that I would do differently now. If it’s the first thing, awesome! I’ve learned that Past Me was too hard on myself. And if it’s the second thing, awesome! I’ve got a concrete reminder that I’ve grown as a writer since I wrote that.

And, at the risk of almost quoting my own fic here, thank god for that?? I’ve been writing for almost three decades, and I’m relieved that, after all that work, I’m a stronger writer now than I used to be. I’m really happy that I have the capacity to improve, and that the contrast between Past Me and Present Me demonstrates that I’ve improved. And I’m so so excited to continue to improve in the future, even if sometimes (like Sparks!Luke) I wish I was at my best now.

So, remind yourself that you’re not done with your writing journey yet. Today, you’re a stronger writer than you used to be. Revel in that and congratulate yourself. But you aren’t the strongest writer you ever will be. That’s normal. That’s true of everyone. And ultimately, that’s very awesome.

Whoops, this has derailed into me being on my soapbox, so here are some more specific things:

If there’s a specific part of my writing that I feel insecure about, I practice it so that I can feel more confident about it. That was why I did kiss prompts—I felt insecure about my kissing scenes, so I forced myself to practice them. And now I feel a wee bit better about them. Whether it’s doing prompts or finding other kinds of writing exercises, targeted practice is a reminder that, again, writing is a craft I’m learning and if my writing isn’t where I want it to be, I can practice it.

If I feel insecure because of a specific story, then I do one of two things. 1) I re-examine how I’m writing that story, and try to figure out why this particular story is making me feel insecure. Maybe my gut is telling me there’s a problem with the story, and I need to dedicate time to diagnosing the problem. Or maybe the part of the story that makes me feel insecure is actually a necessary part, and I actually need to lean into it. (I hated how dialogue-heavy the scenes between WW!Alex, Reggie, and Luke were and then I realized that those scenes needed to be only dialogue. Solution: text chains.) But other times, if I can’t pinpoint a reason why the story is making me feel insecure or if addressing the reason doesn’t make me feel better about it, then 2) I put that story on the backburner for a bit so that I can work on something else that makes me happier.

If I feel insecure because of the lack of external validation on a platform like AO3, I try to remind myself that getting validation on AO3 is a crapshoot. What fics people find and read, and what they decide to comment on or kudos is in no way a reflection on how well-written something is.

... but knowing that doesn’t actually help me feel any better when I’m not getting that validation.

The thing that does help is realizing that, even when I do get comments, they don’t actually change my relationship to my own writing. I’m not any less insecure about my writing abilities than I was before I got comments. Multiple times, I’ve caught myself refreshing my AO3 inbox and realizing that what I want to find there is someone handing me self-confidence. And that’s not how that works.

I’ve come to realize that, at least for me, kudos and comments are sort of like using band aids to treat a fever. They’re lovely, but they don’t address the problem I’m dealing with. What has made me feel more confident in my writing is curating a group of fellow writer friends who I can talk to about my writing in a deeper, more instructive, and more validating way. So getting beta readers or cheer readers, or even just talking to friends who read your fics can help address the actual root of the insecurity.

If I feel insecure about writing in general, I sometimes do free writing. I find a random prompt online and set a timer for twenty minutes and write whatever comes out of me. No editing allowed, and no pressure to write anything good or coherent or usable. I don’t need to ever read that piece of writing again if I don’t want. It’s just a wee exercise to remind myself that writing can be fun, and that often the thing that makes it not fun is the pressure I put on it.

And sometimes, if I’m very burnt out or if nothing else is working and my relationship with writing still feels toxic, I take a step back from it. Sometimes we need to recharge our batteries, and trying to force ourselves to write will just harm the relationship we have with writing.

The last thing I’ll say (with too many words, as per me) is that it’s important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect piece of writing. I’m a perfectionist. I want to write something perfect, and I get overwhelmed sometimes by how imperfect my writing is. But no one will ever write anything perfect. Perfect writing is not achievable. But there are a lot of imperfect pieces of writing that have saved my life, changed my life, or just made a bad day a wee bit better. Imperfect works are good and meaningful.

My most popular fic is actually one of my least favorite pieces of fiction I’ve ever written, to the extent that it embarrasses me that people have read it. But some readers like it. My feelings about that fic aren’t in alignment with how readers feel about it, or with what they get out of it.

So sometimes the answer to “what do I do when I feel insecure about my writing” is a simple “I remind myself that I am one person, with one opinion on my writing. Just because my brain is bullying me does not mean that my writing isn’t meaningful to other people.” If my writing brought a smile to one other person, that’s more important than whether or not I think it was Good Writing™.

Remember that, even if you’re not getting the kind of feedback from readers that you wish you were, your writing is reaching people and they are so, so grateful that it exists. I promise it is, and I promise they are. So no matter how you feel about your own writing, remember that you put words together in the way that only you can and you created joy in another person.

#idk if any of this was coherent or helpful #and if anyone has other things to add definitely do!#pearlcaddy.eml #pearlcaddy on writing #writing

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pestheart6-blog · 5 years

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My Favorite Cherry Pie in the History of Ever

No, really, this is the best cherry pie EVER. Nothing hard or secret about it – it’s a classic! Notes included in the recipe for using sour OR sweet cherries.

Cherry pie. It’s my favorite. It is the pie I can’t resist even when I’m already stuffed to the gills. I love the tart sweetness. The bursting cherries. The buttery, flaky pie crust. There are other fruit pies that don’t hold my attention, but cherry pie has my whole heart.

A few years ago, I decided homemade cherry pie did not appear in my life as frequently as it should, and I resolved to change that by establishing it as a tradition. If it’s tradition, it has to happen right? So I decided every 4th of July (or within a week or so if we are traveling), we needed homemade cherry pie. (And let’s be honest, most Thanksgivings, too.)

It took me a few years to get this cherry pie perfectly perfect, but this is the version I’m sticking with forevermore. It’s straightforward. It’s simple. And the flavor is the best I’ve ever tasted (and trust me, I’ve eaten a lot of cherry pie in my day).

We are going to pretend I don’t already have a cherry pie recipe in the archives. That recipe is almost 10 years old; chalk it up to cherry pie maturity (and a decade of taste testing), but today’s recipe is 1,000 times better. Promise.

Homemade pie can seem really intimidating. I get it! It’s not exactly the quickest thing to whip up on your average Tuesday night. But if you plan a little time, work with fresh, delicious ingredients, and keep everything cold, cold, cold, you’re going to be making pie like a rock star before you know it.

I’m going to walk you through the steps of making this homemade cherry pie today. Not because it’s hard…but just because sometimes a visual how-to can make all the difference so you can go from “no way, not me, homemade pie is the devil” to “I think I’ve got this; oh yeah, I’VE GOT THIS!”

There’s a lot of information in this post. Read it. Absorb it. Think about it. Take some deep breaths. And then go make the best cherry pie of your life.

I have a lot of pie crust tutorials/boot camps/lectures already on this site, so I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of how to make pie dough on this post.

But I will say that for this cherry pie (and all other pies), I use one of two pie crust recipes:

For the pictures in this post, I’m using the sour cream pie crust. The flavor and tenderness and flakiness is so, so good. To get started, you’ll want to roll the bottom crust to about 12-inches in diameter and gently place in the bottom of a 9-inch pie plate. Trim the dough leaving 1/4-inch excess beyond the rim of the pie plate.

Homemade cherry pie filling! Could life get any better?

I include many of these same details below in the recipe, but I’ll outline them here, too:

I’ve tested this recipe using sweet, dark cherries. The sugar level in the recipe is counting on the cherries being perfectly ripe and naturally sweet. If the dark cherries you are using are on the tart side, you might want to increase the sugar just a bit.

I haven’t tried Rainier cherries, although they usually substitute really well for dark cherries in terms of sweetness and flavor.

I also haven’t used sour pie cherries because they are rather hard to find fresh where I live (and the canned varieties scare me off a little because, hello, mushy cherries).

The good news is, I hear it’s pretty darn easy to convert a cherry pie from using sweet, dark cherries to sour pie cherries.

To substitute sour pie cherries, try, decreasing the lemon juice to 1 teaspoon (don’t leave it out completely) and increase the sugar to 1 cup (or slightly more, depending on how sweet you want the pie).

I haven’t tried frozen cherries (yet!), but I think they could be used with pretty good results as long as they are thawed and very well drained before using. They might be a tad bit softer after the pie is baked – but if they are good quality prior to freezing, chances are, it stands a good chance of working.

The filling of this cherry pie recipe is as simple as combining all the ingredients together in a bowl and letting it hang out while you get the pie crust in the pie plate. We have a lot of u-pick cherry farms near us; maybe that’s what’s increased my love for cherry pie? Very possibly.

You can bet just about every homemade pie maker has a pretty strong opinion about what should be used to thicken the filling. Flour. Cornstarch. Tapioca. Clearjel. Fasting and prayer.

I’m not out to make enemies over the subject, but after loads of testing (and so.many.cherry.pies), I stand firmly by the recipe below. I’m not saying this thickener lineup should be used for every fruit pie ever made, but for this cherry pie, it’s money.

Tapioca flour/starch + a little bit of cornstarch. The combination creates a perfectly set cherry pie filling that isn’t cloudy or glumpy with weird gelatinous blogs hanging around.

I know tapioca flour isn’t the most common pantry ingredient in the world (we happen keep it on hand 24/7 for this Brazilian cheese bread that gets made at least weekly), but it’s worth grabbing for this pie recipe. It’s widely available in many grocery stores, even my small town grocery store, in the baking aisle (Bob’s Red Mill is a popular brand) and definitely available online.

Does using tapioca flour vs 100% cornstarch make a difference? YES! It’s what transitioned my cherry pie from pretty good to really amazing.

As I mention in the recipe below and already once above, keeping the pie dough chilled is the key to success. Warm pie dough is a recipe for disaster.

Roll the top crust out to a 12- or 14-inch circle and cut 10-12 thick strips. Scoop the pie filling into the pie plate and get to work on that lattice crust!

Yes, you can bypass the lattice crust and just slap on a whole top crust, cut a few vents and toss in the oven.

But where’s the fun in that? Plus, I submit that creating a lattice-topped pie might be one of the most satisfying endeavors of my life. And also, cherry pie JUST NEEDS A LATTICE TOP.

You can see from the quick little collage below that it’s really just a matter of lifting the right pie dough strips in order to lay down a horizontal lattice strip…and repeating that several times. It doesn’t have to be perfect. The strips don’t all have to be the exact same size. Pies should have personality!

Just go for it. You’ll be glad you did.

Once the lattice top has been lovingly and carefully assembled (work quickly so the pie strips stay cold and don’t get warm and melty in your grubby little hands!), trim the lattice strips evenly with the bottom crust.

Now take the bottom crust and roll/fold it up and over creating a lip that sits right on the edge of the pie plate. Press gently toward the inner edge of the pie to seal the edges and trap the ends of the lattice strips.

With that thicker edge, you can flute the edges of the pie all the way around. Again, this is another aspect of homemade pie making that doesn’t have to be perfect. And it’s also another area that should go quickly so the warmth of your little fingies doesn’t melt the butter in the pie crust.

Refrigerate that pie for at least 30 minutes! An hour is even better. You want to make sure the pie crust is really, really cold. I wouldn’t let it hang out in the fridge much past an hour – the risk of a soggy bottom crust is not worth it, in my opinion.

I like to brush the top of the pie with a simple egg wash. This is optional. But it greatly enhances the ability of that pie to get the perfectly shiny/golden vibe going on that definitely increases the pie rock star feelings.

Pop that pie on a foil- or parchment-lined baking sheet (trust me, it probably will bubble over a bit – totally normal – and easy cleanup will be your friend). Bake it at 400 degrees for about an hour. Watch closely. Every oven differs a bit in oven temp.

If the top or outer crust is over browning but the bottom crust (looking through a glass plate) or filling needs more time, tent the top of the pie with foil to continue baking.

Now for the hard part. As appealing as it is to dig into warm pie, if you don’t want a soupy mess running all over your plate (and probably your pants), let the pie cool. It doesn’t have to cool completely, but I recommend a 2-3 hour cooling period so the filling has time to set up.

If you cut into it too early, you’re going to cry big buckets of tears and insist the recipe is flawed or that I was totally off on my thickener soapbox. Cooling it for the right amount of time means perfect pie. And if I’m being honest, I actually prefer my cherry pie at room temp. It’s the best.

Ok, there you have it! My favorite cherry pie in the history of ever.

I wouldn’t consider myself the best pie maker in the world, and I certainly don’t make pie on the weekly, but I’ve come to really love the pie making process (even the frustrating moments).

There’s just something magical and so utterly self-confidence boosting about taking a homemade pie out of the oven. It’s the closest I’ve ever come to hearing angels sing in my kitchen.

And embarrassing as it is to admit, I’ve actually been known to say these words as I stare lovingly at the piping hot pie in my oven mitt clad hands: “oh my gosh, I’m amazing.” Homemade pie will do that to you.

Here is a quick list of all the tools/ingredients I use for this cherry pie (and for most of my pie-making endeavors). The right tools make all the difference. Affiliate links included for products I’ve purchased from Amazon.

Now go make yourself some cherry pie!

Yield: 9-inch pie

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cook Time: 1 hour 5 minutes

Additional Time: 3 hours 30 minutes

Total Time: 5 hours 5 minutes

Ingredients

Double crust 9-inch pie dough (see note for recipes)

For the cherry pie filing:

5 cups (about 28-30 ounces) pitted sweet, dark cherries - you'll start with around 2 pounds whole fruit (see note for sour pie cherries)

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (from 1-2 medium lemons)

1/4 teaspoon almond extract

3/4 cup (5.75 ounces) granulated sugar

1/2 teaspoon coarse, kosher salt (use 1/4 teaspoon for table salt)

1/3 cup (1.5 ounces) tapioca starch/flour (see note)

1 tablespoon cornstarch

1 tablespoon butter

Egg wash:

1 egg yolk

2 teaspoons water

2 teaspoons cream or milk

Instructions

Keep all ingredients/pie crust as cold as possible throughout the making process to ensure the most delicious pie ever! Roll out bottom pie crust according to pie dough recipe instructions and place in the bottom of a 9-inch pie plate (I use a glass pie plate). Trim edges leaving 1/4-inch excess from outer rim of pie plate. Refrigerate until filling is ready.

For the filling, in a large bowl, combine the pitted cherries, lemon juice, almond extract, sugar, salt, tapioca starch and cornstarch. Mix until well combined. Set aside.

Roll out top crust to 10-inch diameter and cut into 10-12 strips (I like to cut thicker 3/4- to 1-inch strips).

Scoop cherry pie filling evenly into refrigerated bottom crust, scraping out all the sugar and liquid. Dot the top with 1 tablespoon butter (pinched or cut into small pieces).

Weave strips on top of the filling for a lattice crust (see above pictures in post for how-to). Trim lattice strips evenly with bottom crust. Fold bottom crust up and over evenly with edge of pie plate and press/pinch to seal. Flute the edges of the pie crust.

Refrigerate the pie for at least 30 minutes or up to 1 hour to make sure the top crust is completely chilled.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Place the pie on a parchment or foil-lined baking pan. Bake for 50-60 minutes until the crust is golden and the filling is bubbly and thickened (will thicken more as it cools). The exact time will depend on type of pie plate, thickness of crust, if pie was refrigerated, etc.

Let the pie cool for 2-3 hours before serving (if it's too warm, the filling will be soupy). The pie can be covered and kept at room temperature for 2-3 days.

Notes

Pie Crust: I use either this recipe or this recipe for flaky, easy to work with pie dough.

Cherries: I have not tried this pie with frozen cherries; if doing so, I highly recommend thawing and draining thoroughly before using. For sour pie cherries, decrease the lemon juice to 1 teaspoon and increase the sugar to 1 cup (or more, depending on how sweet you want the pie).

Sugar: For any type of cherry, the exact amount of sugar really depends on the sweetness of the fruit. Even dark, sweet cherries can be quite tart depending on when they were picked. The 3/4 cup sugar called for in this recipe for dark, sweet cherries assumes the fruit is perfectly ripe and sweet. If they are slightly underripe and a little more tart, increase the sugar by 1/4 cup.

Almond Extract: I normally do not like almond flavor in hardly anything - I almost always leave it out if it's called for in a recipe, but I promise, the almond extract is everything in this recipe! That small 1/4 teaspoon adds the best complimentary flavor to the cherries. Don't leave it out!

Tapioca Flour/Cornstarch: I like a pretty firm cherry pie filling and after a lot of experimenting I really prefer this lineup of tapioca flour with a little bit of cornstarch. It gives the best texture without being glumpy and globby. Tapioca flour/starch is pretty easily found in the baking aisle of most grocery stores (definitely in stores with bulk bins); can also be ordered online. Alternately, you can grind minute tapioca or other tapioca pearls until finely ground.

Make-Ahead: Pie can be made start to finish and cooled 1-2 days ahead of time. Cover well and keep at room temp. Warm in the oven (250 degree oven for 10-15 minutes) or individual pieces in the microwave. I haven't frozen the unbaked or baked pie.

Recommended Products

As an Amazon Associate and member of other affiliate programs, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Recipe Source: from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe

Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Posted on July 11, 2019 by Mel

Source: https://www.melskitchencafe.com/my-favorite-cherry-pie-in-the-history-of-ever/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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lunawings · 7 years

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Tales of Festival, Sunday June 4th 2017

Oh, something I forgot about yesterday’s show. Since next year will be the REAL 10th year anniversary for Vesperia, the cast were joking about having a fancy dinner party. Where everyone (including all of us) comes to Yokohama Arena in fancy clothes and eats dinner and goes home. (The image of this absolutely cracks me up. Moving on.)

Okay, I am just going to say it, today was sooooo much better that yesterday ahaha. I enjoyed it a lot. But now I will have hell remembering everything and will probably be editing this post for the next few hours....

I will start right into the skit.

So while Estelle was in charge of preparations for the 10th anniversary yesterday, she has gone home so Yuri is in charge. Actually, ALL the girls from yesterday have gone home leaving quite a sausage fest.

Asbel was going to bring the girls but... he decided to protect them. Ahaha.

Velvet realizes she did meet Eizen’s sister yesterday. AHH! Eizen got kinda quiet and I think said he was happy just to hear from her.... uuuuaaaahaha.

Okay, so the plot! They were all going to put on a specific show (my friends said it was some traditional story but I did not know it, and therefore now do not remember it) but the only girls are Eleanor and Velvet. Eleanor backs out and it’s not Velvet’s cup of tea either. Actually Laphicet jumped in front of Velvet like NOOO haha. (And I assumed it was because Velvet’s character would have a romantic scene he didn’t want to see? Ahah but I might have interpreted it very wrong.)

So, with Ludger present and most everyone having color change cyalumes nowadays, they introduced a new feature. We got to make choices! (...juuust a few.) We changed our lights red to vote for one thing and blue for another. There was a test where we could make Ludger sing or dance. It looked even between red and blue, but dance was chosen. As Ludger cued the music we heard a sexy, sultry beat as he pranced down the catwalk. And then Zelos made him do the other option anyway and he hummed Elle’s lullaby.... aww. (Not exactly singing... but....)

Anyway! Since there were so few girls, they decided to do a power rangers type show. We had the option of the Abyss Rangers from Tales of the Abyss or the Starfish Rangers from Tales of Graces. I forgot the Starfish Rangers existed so I was voting hard for Abyss Rangers buuuut they lost by a longshot. Oh well!

So. Lloyd, Luke, and Asbel were all the red rangers. Three red rangers. Because they couldn’t decide. Eleanor was pink. Sorey was white, which seems like a girl color so he talked girly. Eizen was black. Zelos was the extra green ranger who showed up later. And Laphicet was.... rainbow.

Jude and Emil were brothers trying to collect fish to sell for money for medicine for their sick mother. Except Emil called Jude “big sister” by mistake ahahaa awww, his voice actor was all flustered and nervous. (I think he was the last time too. He’s always alone as the only non-mothership title character...) When suddenly they are attacked by some “bad guys” Velvet and Yuri.

Now I don’t quite know how it happened, but SOMEHOW this scene shifted to fighting Dhaos instead. Because Dhaos and Eizen have the same voice actor, Morikawa Toshiyuki . And then Yuan showed up for no reason other than he is ALSO voiced by Eizen’s voice actor. And then he tried to go back to Eizen and voiced Dhaos instead. Ahah he had a lot on his plate. (I remember when he actually came as Dhaos before... and voiced Yuan then too.)

But they are saved by.... SECRET CHARACTER LEON! So much screaming was had. (I may be partially deaf now because secret character Leon.) He even had a Chaltier remake Swordian in his hand.

Okay, on to the talk segment...

Eleanor’s voice actress was so nervous and happy to be here. She has always wanted to come ever since she voiced the twins in Legendia!

Every time Sakurai (Asbel) comes there are so many awkward close-ups of his face.

Leon’s voice actor Midorikawa was so happy to finally have Chaltier legitimized as a real sword.... I think he was jealous that Stahn had his Swordian’s voice actor yesterday though.

Midorikawa had to keep super secretive since he was a secret character, but he went to Starbucks this morning. And ran into Toriumi (Yuri) there. And there were Tales of Festival fans all around them.

Okay, you all know the results of the popularity poll, and if you don’t I will link you here.

As they were announced any voice actor who got a character in the top 20 was given a soapbox to sit on while they thanked the crowd. But there were three special chairs for the top three. So when it got down to the last three spots it was obvious it would be Ludger, Luke, and Mikleo... but in what order? And Mikleo’s voice actor wasn’t even there?! So naturally everyone hoped he would be the second character today but... he was not.

When Mikleo was announced the winner we saw a special message of Osaka Ryota sitting in the chair in the arena (probably the day before), and then they put a Mikleo cutout in the chair and all threw him in the air chanting.

(That was hilarious though, and well now I know for sure there was a legit reason Sorey and Mikleo couldn’t be there on the same day, otherwise Mikleo would have been the secret character for sure.)

The best part however was Sorey’s voice Kimura Ryohei actor RUNNING IN CIRCLES AROUND THE STAGE when he was announced. He said he was happier than when he was announced (number 6) and was so stoked he got to share the top 10 with his childhood friend.... hskjklsd.

Oh, before it was announced Toriumi (Yuri) kept “accidentally” sitting in the number one chair. (Ahaha well he kind of deserves it, since he never got a special chair when he was #1.)

Being the champions, Yuri and Leon’s voice actors hosted this section. Until the top three when Laphicet and Eleanor’s voice actresses got behind the podium to “help” (since well... it was clear they did not make the top 20....) I found out later Laphicet made 21 though! SO CLOSE! Eleanor did not rank in top 30.... why.... how... she was the only one from Berseria not on there... I guess she was not as popular as I thought.

After the popularity poll a person in a Hello Kitty costume came out and announced a Sanrio amusement park collab. That... was a thing that happened.

Today was still great. Kondo, Ludger’s voice actor, apologized for not coming last time and said he wants to come EVERY TIIIIME from now on. Everyone at the end all lamented they couldn’t be with their partners. Ludger wanted Elle, Lloyd wanted Colette (as ALWAYS), Leon missed Stahn, Emil wanted Marta. Someday we will raise the money for a perfect Tales of Festival.... someday....

#tales of festival 2017 #tales of festival #tales of #tales of series

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acomplexjourney · 5 years

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ICU

I’m all done with my ICU rotation! It was a very educational and emotionally-challenging experience. Most patients who are admitted to the ICU survive, but there are also many who do not. I saw several patients who were victims of drug overdoses, patients with severe brain injuries who were kept alive by machines, and I helped perform chest compressions on a patient who did not make it. Sitting in the resident physician room, there was a lot of “gallows humor,” which I was initially offended by, but as time went on, I began to understand it as a coping mechanism. When someone you know dies, it is generally acceptable to be able to leave work and set aside time for mourning. But for doctors and nurses in the ICU, they have to go right back to caring for the other critically-ill patients for whom they are responsible.

For this post, I decided to focus on three of the “happier” stories I have from my time in the ICU. As a forewarning, a patient does die in one of the stories, but I hope it does not bother you, the reader, too much. At least for me, accepting that death is a natural part of life helped me to stay sane in the ICU. Mufasa from The Lion King probably says it the best:

“When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass. And so, we are all connected in the great Circle of Life.”

Mrs. A

Mrs. A. was a 30-year-old mother of two who experienced extreme blood loss following the planned C-section of her third child. The patient and her OB-GYN knew that the C-section would be risky, because she had a condition called placenta accreta, in which the placenta is embedded too deeply in the uterus and at risk of causing major bleeding. Undergoing a vaginal delivery would have been even more risky, however, so Mrs. A. consented to the C-section. When we were consulted in the ICU, we found out that Mrs. A. had lost six liters of blood during the surgery. To put that into context, the average adult has five liters of blood in their body, but women at the end of pregnancy have about nine liters. Still, six liters is a lot of blood and the patient had to receive eight units of packed red blood cells along with units of fresh frozen plasma, platelets, and cryoprecipitate during the surgery. The OB-GYN also had to perform a hysterectomy because the bleeding was so severe. Mrs. A. was intubated, put under sedation, and transferred to the ICU.

Fortunately, as a student, I was asleep at home at 4 AM, but at that time, Mrs. A.’s husband noticed she was waking up from the sedation. Her nurse gave her a pen and a pad of paper on which she wrote in big capital letters, “OUT.” The medical team evaluated Mrs. A., determined it was safe to extubate her, and successfully took her breathing tube out so she could breathe on her own.

When I went to check on Mrs. A. around 7 AM, you would have never guessed that she had a near-death experience the day before. She was sitting comfortably in her bed with her husband by her side. She rated her abdominal pain as 5/10, but otherwise had no complaints. She was just ready to go home with her newborn child.

I’m going to get on my soapbox for a minute and share that in 2010, about half of the counties in the United States lacked a single OB-GYN. In my opinion, that is totally unacceptable. I couldn’t find more recent data, but hopefully in the past nine years this has gotten a little bit better. We’re not going to fix the alarmingly high maternal mortality rate in the US until we can do a better job providing high quality obstetrical care to rural areas.

Ms. B

Ms. B was a 65-year-old female with a past medical history of type II diabetes and psoriasis who presented to the ER with acute onset of shortness of breath. CT angiogram of her chest did not reveal a pulmonary embolism, but instead showed "bilateral perihilar ground glass opacities." Ms. B. was transferred to the ICU with a diagnosis of acute hypoxemic respiratory failure and the ICU team began trying to solve the puzzle of what was causing Ms. B.’s sudden respiratory distress. If you look up “crazy paving” on Radiopaedia, you will find a long list of possible causes of this CT finding.

I went to see Ms. B. on her first day in the ICU. She seemed like a very pleasant lady and did her best to answer all my questions. She said the day before her symptoms began, she was completely fine and then out of nowhere, she developed shortness of breath so severe that it was difficult for her even to eat without losing her breath. Ms. B. also had never smoked and had no history of breathing problems. As my medical student brain pondered what the root cause of Ms. B.’s illness was, suddenly an alarm started to go off in the room. Ms. B. was breathing at 50 breaths per minute and her oxygen had desaturated rapidly from the high 90s to the high 70s. I stood there frozen, not sure what to do. Fortunately, a second later, Ms. B.’s ICU nurse rushed into the room and immediately bumped up the patient’s oxygen flow and asked Ms. B to take deep breaths. Within a few minutes, Ms. B. was fine again and I thanked the nurse for coming to the rescue. I felt dumb for not thinking of this simple intervention myself, but at least now I will remember what to do if I ever witness a patient desaturate again.

The ICU team ran all sorts of tests on Ms. B., ruling out bacterial, viral, fungal, and several autoimmune causes. Through a process of elimination and putting Ms. B. on a trial of inhaled steroids, we came to a conclusion that it was most likely Ms. B.’s methotrexate that she was taking for her psoriasis that had caused her lung disease. She was on a pretty high dose of it and after stopping it on the first day of her hospitalization, she did get a little bit better every day. It worked out that her last day in the ICU was also my last day in the ICU. I stopped by to say hello before I left, telling her I was amazed at how much better she had gotten over the course of a week. Ms. B said thank you to me for the care she had received and when I responded by saying, “I didn’t do much, I’m just the student,” I was touched that she scolded me by saying, “never say that!” and that I was just as important as the doctors and nurses who cared for her.

Mrs. G.

At about 1:30 PM on a Tuesday, I was sitting in the resident room reading UpToDate and Dr. N. was eating a pear while working on his laptop. One of the nurses poked her head in the room and said, “Mrs. G. is gone.” At first, I thought that Mrs. G., a terminally-ill, 60-year-old female with metastatic cancer, had gotten up and left. But then it dawned on me that something much more serious had happened; Mrs. G. had passed away. I remembered how earlier that day, Dr. M., our attending physician, had met with Mrs. G.’s family and they had come to the difficult decision to withdraw life support and put Mrs. G. on comfort care. As a student, I had not been following Mrs. G., but I did remember seeing her asleep on a ventilator when we walked by her room during rounds. She would become the first deceased patient I have ever seen in a hospital.

Dr. N., a first-year resident, had been taking care of Mrs. G. He nodded his head, acknowledging the news. Dr. N. quickly finished his pear, washed his hands, and we went into Mrs. G.’s room to make a formal declaration of death. There were probably ten family members in the room surrounding Mrs. G. Dr. N. introduced himself and began examining Mrs. G. to confirm that she was deceased. He put his stethoscope on her chest- no heart or lungs sounds. He shined a pen light in both of her eyes- no pupillary constriction. It is also standard practice for the doctor to say the patient’s name out loud as part of the exam. “Marie, can you hear me?,” Dr. N. called out. “No, her name is Mary, not Marie!” a distraught family member interrupted. For some reason, probably because I watched too much Seinfeld growing up, I found this very funny and had to bite my lip and stare at the floor to stop myself from bursting out in laughter. Apparently, “Marie,” not “Mary” had been written on the residents’ white board, but I still feel like we should have double-checked the name of the patient before going into the room. In any case, Dr. N. apologized and proceeded to declare the time of death as 1:38 PM. He offered condolences to the family and we exited the room. A few minutes later, Mrs. G.’s husband stopped in the resident room as he was leaving to say thank you.

A few hours later, I walked by Mrs. G.’s room and noticed that her bed was already empty. The mattress lay exposed covered by sun streaming in through the window. A blanket lay folded in the corner of the bed. As a Catholic, I could not help but be reminded of the Resurrection as I continued on to care for another patient.

My time as a medical student in the ICU was physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging, but I would definitely recommend it to other medical students. Even if you don’t plan to ever work in an ICU, it is an eye-opening experience to be on the care team of patients who are right on the border between life and death.

Note: in order to protect patient privacy, names, ages, and other identifying details were changed in these stories.

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the-mulligan-wizard · 7 years

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Samurai Jack Meets the Scotsman Scene Analysis

youtube

(From S1E11 of Samurai Jack) It’s gonna be a long one.

Hello! Welcome to my second scene analysis. Always like and reblog if you enjoy these :3 The scene I’m analyzing is shown through these two videos. I’ll mention when to switch videos!

(VIDEO ONE)

0:00 There’s a lot of walking before this scene to get a feeling and set the tone. I chose not to include them because honestly the wide-shots and establishing shots Samurai Jack uses deserves an analysis of their own. Maybe another day. A few seconds in Jack hears the distant bagpipes of the Scotsman. He tilts his head up so that he can see, which means before his hat covered his vision of far ahead of him. Either Jack was looking down at the pit below, or he was so confident he could sense a threat approaching that he didn’t need to see it coming. I’d bet the second one, considering that Jack has been walking on this bridge for a long time. Jack stops moving, telling us he doesn’t want to walk into danger if he can avoid it, but doesn’t want to turn around. It’s a tad indecisive on his part, but not much. One more thing to note hear, Jack hears the bagpipes well before the Scotsman is even visible. These boys are LOUD.

-Let’s consider what this all says about the Scotsman. He has been walking on this massive bridge for probably hours or days, and he has been blaring these things. This tells us he is proud of his heritage and likely plays them a ton. BUT it also tells us that even though he’s wanted by Aku (which we learn later) he isn’t afraid to draw attention to himself.

0:30 As the Scotsman approaches, Jacks face of pain turns into one of regret. As much as Jack hates the sound, he doesn’t recognize the Scotsman as a threat anymore, and wants to avoid hurting his feelings (as Jack always does) He may have also adapted this modest face because the loud sound came from another human, something he doesn’t want to hurt.

0:44 We get a very nice pan of the Scotsman. This is mainly meant to show us the Scotsman’s machine-gun leg. Immediately telling us he has suffered wounds (likely from combat) and still fights regardless. Starting from the bottom of the Scotsman to the top, the viewpoint we view the Scotsman from is as if we are kind of below him, a common angle used to show something in power, and the Scotsman definitely is a worthy opponent, so this matters.

0:50 Jack’s hat is tilted down, to avoid showing his face of discomfort, but also telling us he isn’t scared of the Scotsman as he cannot see the Scotsman now.

0:54 Similar to how a below-the-object shot shows power, this over-the-object wide-shot shows weakness. Jack, in a way, is helpless to the Scotsman. This shot also shows us the massive area around them (the emptiness) and that they are finally going to meet. Afterwards, the 3-bar-cut-thing is a nice way to keep tensions high for the viewer.

1:01 The Scotsman stops. He was aware of Jack’s location without taking a moment to open his eyes. Strange, that he never tones down the bagpipes as he approaches Jack. Not really, as we know, the Scotsman is very loud and very proud of himself.

1:09 The Scotsman looks down at Jack. Looking down at him? That’s sort of like how we view characters who are helpless! That’s for a reason too. :p The Scotsman notices Jack’s discomfort, and finishes his tune.

1:17 NOTE. FIRST WORDS ARE SPOKEN WAAAY UP HERE. SAMURAI JACK IS GREAT AT SHOWING AND NOT TELLING. The Scotsman starts off with a sarcastic remark about how uncomfortable Jack looks, then starts a new song while looking at Jack with an angry face. Although, maybe he has a resting bitch face?

1:31 Note the posture here. The Scotsman is tall, and has a lot stuff on him. His eyes are open and he is alert. Jack is hunched over with few items and clearly in pain. This is a nice analysis of the characters through their design. Where the Scotsman is arrogant and loud, Jack is modest and considerate. Jack raises his hand, as his way of requesting the Scotsman to stop. Jack, regardless of the Scotsman’s arrogance, politely asks how close he is to the end of the bridge. The Scotsman mentions he has been walking on the bridge for days. Has he been playing the pipes this whole time? Given his personality, I’d say yes! Jack says he seems to still have a long way to go. Of course, mentioning leaving is Jack’s way of saying “Okay, time for me to go”

1:56 Jack approaches the Scotsman, as the Scotsman remarks that he doesn’t want to risk falling off the side for a stranger. This is reasonable of him (although kind of rude in the way he does it) because there are goons out here looking to kill the Scotsman for Aku. Again, the Scotsman is proud of himself and has a high level of self worth. As the Scotsman suggests Jack walking back to the other end, Jack begins to lose patience with the Scotsman. Not only does Jack not have that much time to waste, but he would hate a walk with the Scotsman. He needs to find a way paste him

(VIDEO 2. VIDEO 2)

0:00 The Scotsman reads Jack’s remark about time as saying Jack is better than him. This is just like somebody with the level of self-worth. He reads people who disagree with him as people who think they are better than him.

0:21 Even after all this, and being called rude, Jack still prioritizes being polite and reasonable.

0:30 Jack suggests putting his own life in danger so that the Scotsman may cross. This tells us that Jack recognizes the Scotsman’s arrogance as something OTHER than a threat. Which is true! Jack probably noted the sword and gun and figured if the Scotsman actually wanted to fight, he would have already started. The Scotsman, like usual, misunderstands Jack’s modesty as deception. “So you get a peek up me kilt?” To be honest, he has a machine gun leg, so whatever is going on up there would be pretty interesting tbh.

0:38 Jack saying “What did you call me?” Is either aggression or actual confusion. I don’t know what the Scotsman said, but he continues with some insults before suggesting they fight. The Scotsman probably reads Jack’s modesty as weakness, and also thinks if they have a contest it should be something he is confident in, combat.

0:59 Again. Note the stances. The Scotsman leads forward in confidence, while Jack stands still, holding his ground and no more.

Everything till 2:13 is the Scotsman insulting Jack. Jack’s lack of response fuels the Scotsman into thinking he is going to win the fight. I could talk more about all of the Scotsman’s insults, but there’s already a post on here that does that better than I probably could, lol.

2:14 Now things get interesting as we go back to analyzing actions and not words. Note that Jack’s shaky hand during the insult sequence is NOT him wanting to strike the Scotsman, but him being read to block if and ONLY if the Scotsman attacks. When the Scotsman does, Jack blocks his attack and with a still face, the Scotsman’s sword goes as low as to cut Jack’s hat.

2:47 It’s a bit unusual that the Scotsman doesn’t block this attack, but Jack stabs the Scotsman’s bagpipes. We know Jack doesn’t want to kill or hurt anybody, but he needs something to knock the Scotsman off his soapbox. If Jack didn’t mind hurting people, the Scotsman would get stabbed in the abdomen, so this should say a lot about Jack.

(VIDEO 3. VIDEO 3. VIDEO 3.)

0:00 Naturally, the Scotsman strikes first. Note the battle-cry. Just like with the bagpipes, the Scotsman always makes his presence known and doesn’t seem to like being sneaky. To be fair, Jack usually has a battle-cry too.

Note: I’m not gonna talk much about the action unless it says something.

0:26 When Jack begins attacking we turn to see the Scotsman is happily blocking his attacks with his sword in, essentially, one spot. Jack is literally just attacking the Scotsman’s sword. Again. He doesn’t want to hurt the Scotsman. He is either just trying to scare the Scotsman, or maybe setting up the “Tremendous Horse-Cut Technique” if it needs any set-up like this.

1:09 the “Tremendous Horse-Cut Technique” A move Jack uses with the intent to disarm the Scotsman. Again, he does NOT want to hurt him, so destroying his sword is a great way to attempt this.

1:29 A pan away from the action draws our attention to the only visible object, the sun. It changes from day to night to day to tell us a day has passed, all the time they’ve fought (as we hear from sword clashing that we’ve become familiar with through the combat)

1:47 A lot of people have regarded the Scotsman as an equal to Jack. I don’t think this is true. Nobody has won, I believe, because Jack doesn’t want to hurt him.

1:56 The Scotsman attempts to cover up his inability to fight as him being kind to Jack and giving him a second chance. Another way the Scotsman would say “I can’t win, but I refuse to lose”. Jack responds with a neutral and modest statement about how Jack doesn’t want to lose either. He doesn’t threaten the Scotsman because Jack not being “defeated” probably more means he hasn’t actually attacked the Scotsman.

2:19 Jack turns the Scotsman’s insult back around at him, finally knocking him off his soapbox, leaving him speechless.

2:40 Those are odd vehicles! Perhaps this bridge exists to capture those who are wanted. Why else would somebody drive that other than to close in on a bridge? Also, we don’t need much more than a “Yeee-haw!” to tell us this isn’t the first time this guy has had to do this to wanted people.

2:52 Nothing like comparing two characters by having them say the same thing, eh?

3:16 Even in a tense and time-sensitive situation, the Scotsman finds time to insult Jack.

3:18 Look at that wide-shot. It’s a lot like the earlier one but it’s level with the viewer, unlike the previous one. Both shots exist to demonstrate the distance between characters on the bridge. I believe this flat angle was used because the distance shown is larger, and Jack and the Scotsman still need to be visible.

3:34 Jack interrupts the Scotsman’s ramblings by cutting the bridge himself. If Jack let the Scotsman finish, maybe we’d never see S2-5

3:38 What did they think was gonna happen? Maybe they don’t do this often...

3:48 Nothing like the classic they-landed-in-water-so-lets-pretend-they-wouldnt-die bit, eh?

3:54 The Scotsman blames Jack for getting them in a swamp. If only we listened to the Scotsman! Too bad he didn’t suggest anything. This is the Scotsman saying “Sure, I didn’t suggest anything, but your suggestion sucked!”

4:00 Jack, again, offers something neutral and constructive.

Of course, it ends with a classic joke. Remember, we only get a smiling Jack once in a blue moon. Also, if you pause right at 4:20 you can see Jack is still smiling with his eyes closed.

Thank you for reading! Don’t forget to like or reblog if you enjoyed! If you didn’t send me an ask or comment about why you didn’t. If there are any typos, message me and i’ll get on fixing them. :33

#samurai jack #samurai #jack #the scotsman #scotsman #sj #s1 #season #1 #scene #analysis #scene analysis #s1e11 #young pup #cartoon #cartoon network #long post #lotsa words

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jswdmb1 · 7 years

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Wakin’ on a Pretty Day

“Risin’ at the crack of dawn I gotta think about what wisecrack I'm gonna drop along the way today”

- Kurt Vile

I have a lot go through my head these days, and because I am over 40, I only am allowed to use Facebook as part of the social media world, so it all ends up there. However, I quickly realized (it only took four years) that my type of post isn’t quite right for Facebook. As such, I am starting this blog to give me a proper outlet for the inane ramblings that come from my brain. It also means I will no longer be ruining everyone’s good time on Facebook with esoteric musings on subjects such as the brief presidency of James Garfield or my fascination with the musical genre of Yacht Rock.

So, here are the 10 commandments of my blog: 1) It is not about anything in particular. I want to talk about whatever subject comes to mind and don’t want a theme limiting it.

2) This is not a diary. My personal experiences and opinions will certainly be shared, but this is all about the subject I pick that day, not me.

3) Posts will come randomly and irregularly. Just like just about anything else I do.

4). Ask me questions. I love questions. I’ll take the best ones and turn them into blog posts. But I don’t buy into that crap that there are no dumb questions. There are lots of them. Those are still welcome, but remember this is my blog and I may have some fun with you.

5) There will be no fact checking here. I’ll do my best to give accurate info, and I won’t blatantly lie, but this is going to be full of opinion which by definition is subjective.

6) No hashtags here. I don’t use Twitter, don’t really understand it, and will likely never learn. I will link the posts to Facebook so feel free to share there. This all assumes someone other than me actually reads one of these, which is not a given.

7) Take grammatical and spelling errors with a grain of salt. I will be proofreading to a minimum. I want things to come out fresh and I frankly don’t really want to spend too much time on this. Besides, it’s not like I’m president or something where that would matter.

8) There will be no pictures here. Or videos. Or links. Words only. I know that is pretty old fashioned, but I want everyone to get what they want (if anything) out of this without that other stuff tainting your mind.

9) I will not rule out subjects of a political nature but I will shy away from partisan debate. I don’t want this to be a soapbox for anyone. If you think I am preaching on something, call me out (in a civil tone please).

10) As you can tell things will be long. Go to your fancy Twitter if you want 140 characters or less. For me, 140 characters is just one compound sentence in an intro paragraph to say hello.

So there.you have it. Post #1 is in the books. Not sure yet what and when comes next. I’ll just wait until the muses inspire me. Until then, start thinking of some questions and we’ll really get this thing going.

Cheers,

Jim

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stellarplatforms · 7 years

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WordPress Website Design

A professional WordPress website design provides three major advantages to your digital platform:

WordPress Website Design Advantage #1:

Updating your WordPress Website is easy.

Getting an update to your website doesn’t have to involve lengthy (and expensive) back-and-forth discussions with the one designer who knows how to change the website without breaking it. If you need to change a photo or some text, you can log in to the back end of your website yourself, point and click, and it’s done.

WordPress Website Design Advantage #2:

People know WordPress websites.

Web designers the world over understand WordPress – at last count, this open-source platform powers 25% of websites worldwide, and no competent web developer nowadays can look at a WordPress site and get lost. Whoever handles updates to your site in the future, it will be in a common language that anyone with IT skills can understand.

WordPress Website Design Advantage #3:

Your software license will never expire for a WordPress website.

The building blocks of your website will never be recalled, and customer support will never disappear. Too many people speak this language. When we build a website in WordPress, we are standing on the shoulders of the immense programming community that uses and loves this platform. We can start out with a quick, easy method of creating a cutting edge website, because the plugins and themes developed by other programmers are available for our use.

Your website is your digital storefront.

The virtual territory that you have claimed and made your own, crafted according to your aesthetics and tastes, a place where you can receive your friends, your audience, and your customers.

Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works. – Steve Jobs

New website visitors make instant decisions about the character of your business and your brand, based on the first few seconds on your homepage.

Returning customers will sift through your pages, and their experience will leave them feeling one of two ways – better or worse. A good web design can sway that decision.

Working with a professional web designer can make a lasting impression on the people who visit your website. Your website is your soapbox, where you can showcase your expertise and establish your authority in your industry.

A professional website design improves the image of your company, engages your audience with your message, and can help to increase customer inquiries and boost revenue.

3 Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Website

Website design is more than just the “look and feel” of the site. Like Steve Jobs said, design is ‘how it works.’ So, how does your website work?

How does your website encourage the flow of visitors from one step to the next?

What is the ultimate conversion goal for each website viewer?

What action do you want your new website visitors to do?

Your website is the foundation of your online marketing strategy, which is why it is essential to work with someone who understands the psychology of web design.

Are you thinking about making or redesigning a website?

Click here, and let's talk about it.

Let’s talk a bit about what a new website design can do for your future.

Answer these questions thoughtfully, and it will assist me in translating your vision into a happy website visit.

I want to know more than just what your new site will look like; I also want to understand what the new website will do for your business.

Website Design Intake Form

We want to know more than just what your new site will look like; we also want to understand what the new website will do for your business, and how it will be used by your audience. Fill out as much as you easily can; skip any question that doesn't provoke an answer. Get wordy if you like.

Hello, my name is:

You can email me here:

I want a new website because...

If I don't have a new website, then....

So, let me tell you a little bit about myself:

But I have to say, what is really unique about me is:

These are some of the problems I solve for my customers:

My particular background makes me really suitable to do this, because:

When my customers come to my website, they know they should do business with me instead of my competition because:

Here's a brief description of my typical customer(s):

Here are five websites that I really like:

(and also, a bit about why I like each one)

When people visit my website, this is how I want them to feel:

A successful visit to my website will be achieved when:

When people visit my website, they should be able to:

Here are some specific ideas I have about my new website:

Name

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

jQuery(document).bind('gform_post_render', function(event, formId, currentPage){if(formId == 3) {} } );jQuery(document).bind('gform_post_conditional_logic', function(event, formId, fields, isInit){} ); jQuery(document).ready(function(){jQuery(document).trigger('gform_post_render', [3, 1]) } );

“I’ve had many sites built over the past 10 years. This was, hands down, the best experience in regards to efficiency, design, and back-end mechanics. Caelan is easy to talk to, patient, knows what he’s doing and can execute in a timely manner. It was a pleasure.” Robin Jay

President, Las Vegas Convention Speakers Bureau

The post WordPress Website Design appeared first on Stellar Platforms.

from WordPress Website Design

#WordPress Website Design Services #Website Design

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smartphone-science · 5 years

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Some days I sit and think, “what will I write…?” What do you say when you get to 1000 posts? Maybe you just start where you are, diverge to where this all began, then offer a collection of reader’s favourite posts, and a few of your own? (And throw in a few pictures.)

Slow to fall

This piece started a long time ago at a café table in Melaka, the laptop in front of me with a sweet kopi susu[1] carefully placed to one side.

The book is, Biopunk dystopias: genetic engineering, society, and science fiction, by Lars Schmeink. Who can resist a title like that? This photo is from Kuching (not Melaka), taken from outside the cafe, looking out over the lake. It’s a favourite place for me in this town. ©Grant Jacobs, 2019-.

I ponder my next move, watching a guard patrolling the entrance of the building. He reaches up and waves both hands at the birds sitting on an arch above the entrance. Plucky, stubborn or daft, one refuses to go.

It’s an avian-human standoff. The guard looks up at the bird, and bird down at the guard. It shuffles its feet, then settles. I imagine later he’ll poop on the forecourt. The bird, not the guard. Pigeon’s revenge. Or whatever it is to a dinosaurian mind.

Source: Wikimedia Commons (Public domain). This has nothing to do with anything, I just like ancient marginalia![2]

Birds are evolutionary remnants of the dinosaurs. My mind wanders and I imagine them holding subconscious existential angst at that they were once (mostly) giants when our ancestors were insignificant little nocturnal rodents. Maybe a few modern birds sit there and think, “I’m higher up than you”…

The recalcitrant pigeon prompts memories of Guillermo Mordillo’s sweet, thoughtful takes on life. Gentle stubbornness was one of his themes. His posters muffled the bland walls of my graduate student bedsit.[3] One poster I liked, but never bought, featured a gardener standing next to pile of leaves and a large tree. The gardener is clutching a rake and, like the guard, he looks up. High in the branches a solitary leaf clings on, defying the gardener from completing his task.

Writing, interrupted

Attacks on two mosques in Christchurch brought early attempts at this post to a stop. It didn’t feel right to write about something trivial so I didn’t. This state persisted while I travelled and tended to other things.

By then I was in Kuching, Sarawak. All around me were Muslims, alongside Sarawak’s wider ensemble of ethnic groups: Iban, Chinese, Hindi, and others.

Sarawakians are a cheerful and friendly lot. At Pustaka Negri Sarawak—the base for their state library—a lovely café looks over the lake in front of the building. In the early morning light joggers tread the paths that circumnavigate the shores. Late in the afternoon the pumping throb of dance aerobics fills the atrium adjacent to the café. They’re an enthusiastic bunch, dressed in a wide range of garb: loose-fitting or tights, hijab[4] or not.[5] They wave hello as you pass by.

It was upsetting to imagine anyone wanting to hurt them.

The average person is just someone living under a different code for life,[6] mostly doing the things we all do. Jogging, moving to the beat of music, driving to work, getting through the day.

One thing not getting done as much as I wanted was writing. I began writing Code for life ten years ago. It hasn’t—yet—lead to what I would it like to.[7] Still, I’m still here and maybe one day it’ll fall into place.

Sciblogs and blogging: beginnings

My blogging started before Sciblogs from Alison holding up one of my essay-length comments and inviting me to write it as a guest post. Alison was part of the group that started Sciblogs. I was invited as one of the founding writers.

Scilblogs, 23-May-2010, taken from the Wayback Machine. Sciblogs started in October 2009.

We were an interactive lot, trading notes on the backchannel, commenting on each other’s blogs and generally solving the world’s problems. Or at least those touching on science communication.

Not all of our chatting was about science. Topical issues were fair game and we aired some of our concerns about pretty much anything. SMC staff, especially Peter Griffin, asked our opinion on science communication matters. Pioneers of a new venture, we were finding our way forward.

In one of the early years I set out to write every day, and did. It’s a bigger effort than many might think; around 2–4 hours a day, every day. Around that time I asked a couple of New Zealand editors about writing for their outlets and was was advised to not bother. They wanted ‘New Zealand only’ stories or zip. Long-form science writing was something they took from syndicated international feeds at the price of a one-off cost per year. Science-writers in NZ? Yeah, nah.

Part of Goodread’s list of science communication books. These are ones I have not read. At ~$150 I won’t be buying the Oxford Handbook any time soon.

On top of reading ‘the literature’ (scientific research), I studied science writing, also touching on journalism and editing.[8] Scientists are by nature self-learners. When we want to learn something new, we just get on with it. Alongside the reading a big influence for me was ScienceOnline, then a very active forum of scientists, editors, writers and everything in between. They were open to honest criticism to do better.[9] Their community offered a path towards paid long-form science writing for the few keen to move in that direction. The idea of running science writing alongside my scientific consultancy appealed. Unfortunately the organisation fell apart as I felt doors were starting to open.

Back on Sciblogs

On Sciblogs correspondence was vigorous too. Some threads covered over a hundred replies. Thoughts ranged from useful to a few who wrote directly to the authors that their intention was to harass. (They did that too.)

Topics covered a wide range and some of our articles were featured at the NZ Herald. The list of these near the end of a Nature Soapbox article I wrote gives a bit of a feel for the range of topics at the time, and who was writing then –

(You’ll need to use the article to link to the pieces.)

A feature of blogs is readers have more-or-less direct access to the writer and in the case of science blogs, to people with specialist knowledge. It can be a mixed blessing for contentious topics, but it lets readers ask questions of people with a background in the area, something that’s not common online.

I haven’t lived in this village for a long time now, but have never found time to change the banner. The three topic themes are still mostly true, though.

Code for life mostly draws from genetics and molecular biology. It’s also mostly for general readers, so it doesn’t feature much computational biology (my field) these days. My work starts from genetics and molecular biology, but the hands-on stuff is computational, drawing from theoretical biology. It’s hard to relate that to non-scientists. It cuts a bit: like most scientists there’s a lot I’d say about my own lot.

Occasionally I offer criticism of efforts to present science to a general audience.[9] (Expect more of that.) Conveying risk, for example, might seem a dry topic at first, but it’s body and soul to a lot of science writing. There’s the use of language, too. Metaphors for example. They’re widely used and encouraged, but I often prefer something closer to direct explanation.

Speaking of language, finding the featured image was interesting. Searching for images of ‘monk writing’ you get a lot of writing by monks, rather than monks, writing.

Like software mangling parsing language, people misread your words too. Some seem determined to find ‘other’ meanings – especially those with committed views on contentious topics. Some of it will just be ordinary rushed reading, but even so at times it’s as if your words are being filtered and morphed into something they wish were there. That, too, is a mixed blessing. It can be quite unsettling to read alien ‘re-interpretations’ of what you’ve written.

A peek inside a cell. Molecular model of E. coli cytoplasm. Source: PLoS Computational Biology; image credits: Elcock. I’ve wrote about this simulation in Friday picture: molecular modelling of the cytoplasm.

I’ve covered a lot of contentious topics, mostly out of a perhaps misplaced sense of duty. There’s satisfaction in helping, and a need for better coverage of some topics. I enjoy exploring corners of genetics and molecular life more. A hidden world inside our cells is being visualised. There are some fantastic practical applications. It’s the same fascination that carried me into my corner of science after all, and I get to share a little of it with others. That’s a privilege, although at times I think one more easily held by those with a salaried income.

Science communication is also an opportunity for writers to explore corners away from their immediate research interests. It gives them a chance to tackle topical issues in a way they can’t easily within an academic setting. For those of us at it for a long time, it sometimes feels like a saga, one where the hero battles their way through thickets, past strange new beasts and lands, sharing with the reader their exploration of new places.

Reader’s favourites

With this little rumination this I’ve landed my 1000th post. A milestone of some sort that has been in no hurry to drop. Hopefully it’s more a colourful autumn leaf than damp splat of milky excrement. The gardener can get on with his next job – the guard can call in the cleaner! (Or get the mop out himself.)

Looking back some articles were read by more people than others. My favourites are not necessarily these.

How many people have visited a post is a clumsy proxy for how much readers liked it, but it’ll have to do. I’m also a bit wary of the statistics. Although they’re nominally visits from 2009, what ranks high feels closer to, or skewed to, what I’d expect for visits since Sciblogs shifted to using Google Stats. (Earlier we used StatCounter. For example, none of the Christchurch earthquake posts rank well but I recall them being very well-followed.)

Popularity counts can reflect where the articles are shared. The most popular two at least, I think, draw in reader through being shared on very popular sites. Here are the ‘top’ three –

How to spot a badly drawn DNA helix (July 2013). A guide for artists to artists to get them right. It’s amazing how many are badly wrong for something so iconic. (This issue has recently recurred with a prominent research journal featuring a left-handed DNA helix on their cover.)

The world’s largest bacteria (November 2011). The largest, smallest, longest, etc. factoids are often popular.

The Impossible burger is not genetically engineered (July 2018). This was put up to counter local media fuss.

Vaccine-related posts regularly draw a fair number of readers:

Faking an HPV vaccine claim in more ways than one (June 2018)

Vaccines and risk on Auckland motorway billboard (October 2018)

Vaxxed at University of Otago: venues should be able to decline (April 2017)

Bad science: baking soda, fungi, cancer, nuclear fallout, rosacea (September 2012)

Please don’t share vaccine concern posts (April 2017)

Vaccine battles (November 2017)

A few vaccine resources (April 2017; I’d like to present an updated take on this sometime)

Vaccine rates in NZ and what do those that delay infant immunisation think (April 2013; this one is relevant to the current measles outbreak. My impression is mainstream media (MSM) have been largely aware of these studies.)

For new parents of parents-to-be facing vaccine information (January 2019)

‘Fake author’ papers opposing HPV vaccine retracted, editor’s defence (May 2018)

Science writing is a topic I’ve covered quite a bit – we all like to think about that thing we do:

Science writing vs science journalism (January 2010; my views on this have shifted – I’d like to revisit this at some point)

How long do you take to review a research paper? (September 2013)

A few a miscellaneous pieces fared well, too –

Scientific paper has a face in a turd. Who could it be? (December 2018)

From science PhD to careers outside academia: what might help? (January 2013)

What use now is handwriting? (November 2011)

What motivated you to become a scientist? (February 2015)

GMOs and glyphosate are topics I’ll return to –

Is GM corn really different to non-GM corn? (December 2016)

USA Court ruling on glyphosate— the role of IARC and Eugenie Sage’s call (August 2018)

Glyphosate and TIME magazine: writer employed by advocacy group a dubious choice (November 2018)

Regulating GMOs: time to move forward (November 2017)

Thankfully at least a few are articles exploring corners of biology in the top 30 or so –

What does a chromosome look like? (November 2013)

Temperature-induced hearing loss (July 2010)

The sheep-leaf nudibranch (March 2015)

Deleting a gene can turn an ovary into a testis in adult mammals (January 2010)

The origin of a false claim: projecting demons (October 2018)

Haemophilia – towards a cure using genetic engineering (July 2011)

A few favourites

My favourites are those I enjoyed writing or researching. They’re not examples of my “best writing”! Besides, it’s impossible to please everyone; each reader’s tastes differs. Some might prefer pseudoscience smack-downs over quirky corners of genetics.

Then there’s that I can’t even review all 1000 of my posts.

(For some older posts the formatting is less than ideal. These have been affected by updates to WordPress or Sciblogs. It’s too much work to fix these without access to the server.)

General stuff

C’s founder is no more Explaining to non-geeks why Kernigan’s passing means a lot to those in computer science and computing industries.

Honey’s antibiotic properties found? One research group played off different compounds found in honey to determine the contributions of each to antibiotic effect and the strength of combinations.

Rubella, not a benign disease if experienced during early pregnancy As a ‘rubella kid’ this topic is close to my heart in its own way.

Monday potpourri: maps, malaria in the USA, cholera in Dunedin and vaccines Three very short pieces chained in a line of thought.

Autistic children and blood mercury levels Where we get mercury from.

GMOs and the plants we eat: neither are ‘natural’ An attempt to point out that, among other things, both our ‘natural’ foods and GMOs are not really ‘natural’.

Aww, crap Some pitcher plants have adapted to be tree-shrew toilets…

Book sales, frumpy readers, and mental rotation of book titles While at the famous-in-Dunedin 24-hour book sale I wondered if there was a ‘right’ orientation to scan rows of books. (Nominated by a reader for OpenLaboratory 2010.)

Preserving endangered species — of gut microbes A interesting idea – new to me – that we should not only conserve rare species of animals but also microbes in our gut that reflect now-rare diets.

Genetics

Bengkala A mix of travelogue and genetics. I visited Bali to meet a village with a genetic deafness where everyone used sign language.

Monkey business, or is my uncle also my Dad? For male pygmy marmosets, their genetic father could be their uncle. Confused? I still get regular visits to this early effort.

Deleting a gene can turn an ovary into a testis in adult mammals I was startled to learn that ovaries may not be permanently defined to be ovaries in some adult mammals.

The inheritance of face recognition (should you blame your parents if you can’t recognise faces?) Prosopagnosia is surprisingly common and has fascinated me for years.

Epigenetics, a confused muddle in the media My biological research interests involve some aspects of epigenetics: here I make a gentle prod at epigenetics being oversold in media.

I remember because my DNA was methylated Epigenetics meets neural systems, meets memories. I get a little lyrical in the beginning, which I confess I enjoyed.

Boney lumps, linkage analysis and whole genome sequencing Looking for the basis of inherited bone spurs.

Temperature-induced hearing loss This was a surprise to learn: a few rare individuals have lose their hearing when they have a high body temperature.

Loops to tie a knot in proteins? How proteins fold is an interest from my Ph.D. student days. A few proteins do more than just collapse on themselves in folding: they tie knots, threading the chain through itself.

Coiling bacterial DNA DNA in cells is rarely ‘naked’, it is packaged with proteins. This article presents a new model for bacterial DNA packaging.

Finding platypus venom Researchers cleverly did not extract the venom, but created possible venoms by comparing the platypus genome with known venomous proteins and expressing the genes that matched.

Genetic tests and personalised medicine

Autism – looking for parent-of-origin effects Some genes are expressed in a way that depends on what parent the gene was from. I report on a study looking at autism this way.

Doggie ERVs We have in our genomes endogenous retroviruses, ERVs. Turns out that man shares ERVs with his (her) best friend.

Haemophilia – towards a cure using genetic engineering Using ‘designer’ zinc finger proteins to insert a working copy of a missing gene.

Kumara are transgenic They’re natural GMOs and serve as an illustration of how arbitrary calling something a GMO is.

Map shows New Zealand with lowest death rate on earth in 1856, over 11 in 1000 dying Maps are great. Zooming in on this old map, it claims NZ had the lowest death rate at the time. (It may not be true, but it’s a fun thing to have spotted.)

Let’s finish with a few more recent efforts –

Regulating GMOs: time to move forward Something New Zealand needs to move forward on.

Go voyage the great beyond (A little lyrical; fun stuff to write)

Cow farts Sometimes just getting the basics right is what is needed

A gene drive in mice – but only for females There’s a call for discussion about gene editing and gene drives in NZ. I hope to add to this.

Scientific paper has a face in a turd. Who could it be? Already featured earlier, but writing this was fun…

A foil to the populist scourge: towards a Science Commission for New Zealand? Not for the writing, but this is an issue I’d like to see addressed.

USA Court ruling on glyphosate— the role of IARC and Eugenie Sage’s call I hope to return to this; there was terrible coverage on this in TVNZ 1 News earlier this year – their reporter seems to have simply copied popular opinion rather than investigate.

Upcoming

Before I tell you these, a confession: I don’t want to hold myself to these! Things change. By the time I get to them, other news might want attention. That said, in my notes I have stuff on:

a letter by young scientists calling out the Green Party for the GMO policy. (I have a post on this in draft.)

the recent TVNZ report on the Christchurch City Council struggling to implement their ‘ban’ on glyphosate

Science journalism, especially ‘critique not criticism’

gene drives

vaccines for parents (yes this is an on-going thing, unfortunately)

gene therapies (lots of great stuff to cover)

human gene editing

a random collection of biology-related things that just interest me, and might interest others

There’s a long backlog of ideas. The list above barely scratches what there is. (More are list in a blogimmuniqué from the close of last year.)

Evolution is a tinkerer,[9] maybe I’ll tweak the form a little too.

Maybe I should explain this one day – a cover illustration showing prediction of functional (DNA-binding) residues from my PhD student research. Way back in 1992! What was top-end molecular graphics then is ordinary now. The picture shows looking straight down the DNA, as if we’d chopped it like a salami. Or a cucumber, if you’re a vegetarian. (Copyright, EMBO J.)

I could touch a little on computing. (As a computational biologist, I have a ‘tech reporter’ side too.) I may trial short posts offering very brief takes on recent research. Short takes aren’t suited to critical coverage, but they’ll let me get something out, and you get something to read. I don’t like not offering critique—to me it’s a central part of science writing—but doing that can take a substantial amount of time. In the same vein, I may explore a molecule or mutation (or allele) of the week.

Away from the blog I explore other writing styles and genres. Blogs favour the writer’s voice, something usually avoided in mainstream media or longer form work. Similarly, a fair bit of what I write here is pitched at slightly geekier level than I would for, say, a magazine. (There’s more of my thinking, and fewer ‘story’ pieces.) As a result most of what I write here doesn’t resemble what I’d offer editors. I may tinker around that space, too.

Last thoughts

I hope you can forgive a little doggerel, milestone pieces are excuses for this sort of thing… (my apologies to Tolkien & Finn),

I’ve started on this little journey. Where the road leads, I do not know. I go where it takes me, to revel in unfamiliar places. Do I dare to live each moment free from the last? I’ve come a long way, but I’m not yet done. I look around each corner, hoping there may wait a new road or a secret gate.[10]

I’ll be continuing on, obviously. The story’s hero has more places to explore.

Speaking of roads I’ve been out in the world a bit. Four months cycling through north Germany, Denmark, Sweden (including Gotland), Estonia, Lativa and down to Austria. Then London, Cyprus, Sri Lanka, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and more recently Malaysia (especially Sarawak, Borneo). There will be more of those roads, too, but also exploring new lines of writing.

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank those who gave me an opportunity to write at Sciblogs. Forgive me for not naming everyone! Alison deserves especial thanks for the getting me onto this science writing thing.

Thanks to Sarah-Jane, the current Sciblogs editor, for statistics of my blog (unfortunately I still can’t access my Google Stats!)

Footnotes

Lest anyone be misled, this post only touches on the writing part of what I do, not the science.

1. A very sweet Malaysian coffee. Roughly, it’s perhaps 1cm of condensed sweetened milk with coffee poured on top. When served it usually has a layered appearance—deep brown coffee sitting on off-white condensed milk until you stir the milk in. (Pro travel tip: kopi susu can be a very effective laxative if needed!)

2. I’ve no idea if the illustrated marginalia were executed by the scriveners themselves or added later by artists. They’re easily found online, but one sampler of more bizarre examples might be this article at i09.

3. There’s a commercial website of Mordillo’s present-day stuff. Click and drag to move the sky around (up, down, sideway). It’s excellent, a lovely website. If you click on each topic (at the bottom), the sky will move! Don’t miss the mini-golf asteroid or the man in space bubble. Or the flag planting on the balloon moon. And, oddly, a flying space super-cow, complete with bell. (Some of the pages aren’t loading as I write; this might be browser-specific.)

Mordillo died in late June this year. Some of the obits point at his postcards (I have a few), but he did much more.

4. I’m writing hijab as it’s a generic term, and one most people will be familiar with. Locally the covering is called a tudong (or kerudong). I’m hardly an expert on woman’s head coverings, but there are many different styles. These two women dressed for an engagement party are on the more elaborate end of the scale, but it’ll give you some idea. You’ll commonly see something similar to this photograph of a schoolgirl wearing an al-Amira. It’s uncommon to see nijab, and rare to see burqa or similar. (In the latter case, I suspect they may be visitors from the Arabic states.)

5. How prevalent Muslims are depends on where you. They’re more noticeable near the library, I suspect because the state mosque is just across the way and many visitors are students. In upmarket malls, the dress code swings more Western. The Muslim dress code is varied, and you get the clear impression that hiding the “form” of the body is optional. Classically Muslim dress covers both the skin and hides ones body shape. One young woman—teenage rebel and all—who occasionally comes to the library wears heels, skin-tight jeans, a lingerie-style top, push-up bra (common in Asia), all topped with a hijab.[4] It’s not exactly modest. The other extreme are what I take to be visitors from Saudi Arabia covered from head to toe bar a viewing slit for the eyes. By contrast modest for Sarakawians would be relaxed clothes with an al-Amira-style head covering. Even then many can’t help but wear bright colours. It’s a much more relaxed feel than, say, Northern Pakistan when I visited there around year 2000.

6. If you think there’s irony with the name of this blog, it’s actually one of the reasons for the name.

7. I try track where at least some of my pieces get to using an occasional hunt online. It’s gratifying to see the number of places that have linked to my efforts, and people seem to like carefully thought-out discussions of a topic, but it’s hard to put in the sort of effort these pieces take without some sort of return. Some of the sites linking to my pieces draw a lot traffic. A few pieces sit next to media reports (e.g. at the Evening Report and elsewhere.)

I miss the ClustrMaps that showed a world map with red dots representing where my readers were from.

8. Editing is something I’ve looked into before. Many years ago I applied for and got offered a job as an editor at university press, but ended up declining as the same week I was offered a research position.

9. There’s an essay I could write on this. TL;DR version: in my opinion if you’re involved in specialist writing, you ought to be open to criticism. It’s a hard line, perhaps, but to me you ought to be able to hold up to what you’ve presented, and how you presented it. I’m a fan of the idea that, given opportunity, science writers should stick to the broad field they understand.

Like a novelist breaking down other’s work to understand better what works (and what doesn’t!), I find critiquing science pieces and author’s approaches instructive. Likewise you can try to understand and critique “the system” (editors, publishing outlets, etc), too!

9. A very famous science quote from a near-namesake, Francois Jacob, is “evolution is a tinkerer, not an engineer.” Life evolves with continual (random) tinkering on existing life forms. His biography is excellent, but the one lecture I heard of his was disappointing.

10. For those not familiar with The Lord of the Rings, my lines borrow, merge (and mangle) a few of the poems in Tolkien’s novel, and the Finns’ All I Ask. Hey, what can a guy do?

Some readers wish wish there fewer less poetry and songs in LOTR, but The road goes ever on expresses an over-arching theme. You can’t leave that out! (It’s a novel, not a trilogy – a very large book of six parts, not to mention several appendices, published in three volumes.)

An aside: a few years ago I came up with a fun idea for a short science(ish!)-based LOTR sequel, and toyed with the idea as a writing exercise. A little research lead to the LOTR fan fiction archive. It currently has over 57,000 stories…… Yeah, you read that right. 57,000. Rightfully or wrongly that put me off. How do you even compete with that? Why bother? Also: how does one zealous fan read even a fraction of all of that?! (I’m not that kind of fan, either. A bit of a problem for writing what would basically be fan fiction as you’re unlikely to succeed unless you know the score inside and out.)

There’s some discussion about the poems at Wikipedia, and more that you could read on the many fan sites, but here are parts of I’m playing off –

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Also:

Still round the corner there may wait

A new road or a secret gate,

And though we pass them by today,

Tomorrow we may come this way

And take the hidden paths that run

Towards the Moon or to the Sun.

Images and copyright

Hanging in the margins is a cropped version of a public domain illustration featured in this Atlas Obscura article. All photographs are from the author’s collection (copyright, with all rights reserved). The EMBO J cover illustration is copyright EMBO J. (I have my own collection of variations on the basic theme, but it’d be an effort to relocate them.) The screenshots are, of course, public domain.

Editors and writers, please note my blog contents are copyrighted. I’m available for writing or editing work; feel free to ask. (While writing this, I found yet another website that has ‘scraped’ a copy of one of my stories. I’m happy to help where it’s reasonable to, but please don’t just take my work!)

Featured image

This image is a favourite of mine that I have used before. I love old art work with details of working tools or daily life. Call it a different form of travelling if you like.

It’s a portrait of Jean Miélot,“secretary, copyist and translator to Duke Philip the Good of Burgundy”, which Wikimedia adds, “NOTE: NOT IN FACT A MONK AT ALL, though a canon of Lille Cathedral.” Ha. He cut it both ways. What you get for being a favourite of the Duke, perhaps?

via Science Blogs

#IFTTT #Science Blogs

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vannadee37 · 6 years

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Happy 1st day of September, y’all! Today I’m gearing up to share another edition of “Links I Love”. I’ve definitely had a lot of time to read, considering how my life kind of turned upside down a couple of weeks ago. {I’ll explain a little later, so keep reading.} I’ve just a few links I wanted to share, including a yummy peanut butter chocolate chip cookie recipe that you will want to make this holiday weekend, and a shout-out to my new favorite fashion icon, Tracee Ellis Ross.

Jumbo Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

I discovered this recipe via Luella & June. It was originally posted by Karlee Flores, who shared this cookie recipe on her blog, Olive & Artisan. I love both chocolate and peanut butter, and these cookies combine the best of both worlds. It’s even topped with some flaky sea salt. {Can you say “yummy”?} It makes 16 cookies, but if I were you, I’d just double the recipe because I think these will be your new favorite peanut butter chocolate chip cookie.

The Best Self-Tanning Products To Get That Perfect Summer Glow

Several years ago, I stopped using tanning beds and started using some great self tanners. I’ve used lotions, sprays, and mousses, but I’ve not yet tried self-tan drops. The Newsette featured several of their favorite self-tanners that are made with organic, safe ingredients, including one I am eager to try — the Tan Lux Self-Tan Illuminating Body Drops. Take that bronze goddess glow from Summer to Fall with one of these products.

This Fashion Blogger is Calling Out Major Brands to be More Inclusive for Plus Sizes

First of all, I adore blogger Katie Sturino. Her blog, The 12ish Style, features #SuperSizeTheLook, where she replicates a particular look of a celebrity or model. I jumped for joy when I red on PureWow that Katie called out major brands to carry extended sizes for women who wear a size 12/14 or above. And like Katie, I encourage all of you to tag our favorite brands and join in the #MakeMySizeMovement.

My Tips for Making Perfect Pancakes

My husband loves pancakes, especially on the weekends, and Emily, with Cupcakes and Cashmere, has given my pancakes a new lease on a tasty life! I use Bisquick to make my pancakes, but I’m definitely going to try these tips the next time I make pancakes for my husband.

Tracee Ellis Ross is an Underrated Fashion Icon

The daughter of Diana Ross, Tracee isn’t afraid to shine in her fashion choices. She is just – in one word – FIERCE! One look at her Instagram feed and you’ll find fashion inspiration galore! Thanks to StyleCaster for featuring this style queen! I love Tracee, and even invited her to one of my {imaginary} dinner parties.

So there you have it… And these are just a few of the “links I love” from August. I’m link more later this month!

And now for a quick “life update”:

On August 14, 2018, I received a call that no wife wants to get.

Marshall: “Is this Vanessa?” Me: “Yes…” Marshall: “Hello, my name is Marshall. I work in the Emergency Room here at UT Medical Center.” Me: “Okay…” Marshall: “Is your husband’s name Mike?” Me: “Yes…” Marshall: “Well, he gave me your name and number and wanted me to call you. He’s been in a motorcycle accident.” Me: “Are you serious?” Marshall: “Yes. He’s stable, but you may want to head this way, if you can.” Me: “Absolutely. I’ll be right there.” {This is where my heart dropped deep down into the pit of my stomach.} Marshall: “Okay. I’ll be waiting for you in the lobby of the Emergency Room.” Me: “Okay. Thank you.”

After I hung up, I turned to my friend and co-worker, Cindy A., and said, “Mike was in a motorcycle accident and he’s at UT. I’ve got to go.” Considering the number of motorcycle crashes recently, most of which resulted in a fatality, I was thankful that he was “stable”, but what did that mean exactly? UT Medical Center is the Region’s Level 1 Trauma Center. Would I find him with road rash from his head to his feet? Did he have any broken bones? Was he conscious? Was he going to have to be rushed to surgery?

I hurried to my truck and texted my former office manager, Marcy, who works on the UTMC campus. I told her what had happened and that I was headed to UTMC. {I’m not going to lie and say I drove the speed limit.} She met me down in the ER, while Mike was getting x-rays. Because he had a fractured skull {with a subdural hematoma and a subarachnoid hemorrhage}, several fractured ribs, a grade 1 liver laceration, and a fractured pelvis {in two places}, he was admitted to the hospital.

Hospital recliners are so uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as my husband was with all his fractures (pelvis, ribs, and skull). He was miserable the entire seven days we were at the hospital.

Believe it or not, he had little to no road rash. He had a bruise on the under-side of his right arm, a small two-inch abrasion just above his belly button, and a large bruise on the inside of his left thigh. His left foot was swollen and bruised, and we think he also broke his big toes on both feet.

We figured out how to turn the bed into a chair!

He stayed in the hospital for seven days and was discharged home on Tuesday, 8/21/2018, which was one week to the day of his motorcycle crash. He is home now, rehabbing on his own. He is able to walk using a walker, but he still has some pain. {Here are some photos of his bruises.}

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Discharge day! When he was told he was being discharged home, it didn’t take him long to change out of the hospital gown and into street clothes. He was ready to GO!

Mike was wheeled down to the Fountain Circle by Brandon. Mike was ready to go home and finally sleep in his own bed. If I’m being honest, I was ready to go home and sleep in my own bed too!

As I said, he was riding his motorcycle on his way to work when another driver pulled out across a very busy highway and into his path. He had very little time to decide what to do. The trooper said that he collided with the other driver’s car and flipped over the vehicle, and landed on the road. His motorcycle was totaled, and he says that his motorcycle days are essential over.

RPM Garage back in business {well, sort of…} – Mike was feeling well enough one day to sit in his home office for a couple of hours, under the watchful eye of Doc, and do a little Bronco business. {Don’t mind the messy office; it’s a bit of a catch-all room.}

There were a lot of fatalities involving motorcycles prior to and after my husband’s accident. So here’s a bit of advice, from one driver to another… watch out for motorcycles… “look twice, save a life.” Be more aware of your surroundings when driving because there are a lot of motorcyclists on the road. Every driver, whether you’re on a motorcycle or in a vehicle, needs to slow down and drive more cautiously. {I’ll get off my soapbox now 🙂 }

I’ve got more links to share with you, but I’ll hold onto them until later this month!

Yours Truly, Vanessa

Links I Love: August 2018 + A Life Update Happy 1st day of September, y'all! Today I'm gearing up to share another edition of "Links I Love".

#a life update #August 2018 Links I Love #best self-tanning products #blogger Katie Sturino #links I love #make the perfect pancakes #motorcycle crash #peanut butter chocolate chip cookies #Tracee Ellis Ross underrated fashion icon

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