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drkfought · 3 years

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─ the mirrors surrounding you did as they were meant to , reflecting back a spitting image of jensen ackles - but it’s clear something is wrong from the moment that a vision of 𝘫𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘰𝘥 strikes you . perhaps it was a passing daydream in the frenzy of the funhouse . you reassure yourself - you’re 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 , a 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 year old 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗜𝗘𝗙 whose virtue lies in your + loyalty & + selflessness , although you’ve been told that you tend to be quite - short tempered & - self loathing , and you’re associated with 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒔𝒌𝒊𝒏, 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒈𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒚 𝒌𝒏𝒖𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒖𝒓𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝒋𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍 𝒕𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔 𝒂 𝒃𝒆𝒅 , by those around you . suddenly, however, you’ve found 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍'𝐒 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋 on your person - was that always there ? from the moment you leave the funhouse , memories from your life in 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙣𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙖𝙡 have begun to return - leaving whoever you had been before in the mirror’s reflection behind you . you can almost hear 𝚁𝙰𝙼𝙱𝙻𝙴 𝙾𝙽 by 𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚉𝙴𝙿𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙸𝙽 following in your wake .

hi i love dean winchester so stinkin’ much ... i am .... so excited . he deserves a life where he wasn’t hunting monsters all the time ! one where he got a job & had kids & is just living life ! let dean have a life !

full name : dean henry winchester . alises : the righteous man . the sword of michael . squirrel . age : forty one . gender & pronouns : cis male , he / him . sexual & romantic orientation : bisexual / biromantic . species : human . identifying marks : multiple scars across his body . some looking like they came from knives , others from guns . his memory on how he got most of them is fuzzy

─ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

i will try to make this short . dean was born to mary & john winchester & for four years he had the most simple apple pie life a four year old could ask for . in 1983 , a demon went into the winchester house to visit their newborn son : dean’s younger brother sam . when mary interrupted the demon’s visitation , he killed her . slashed open her stomach & burned her on the ceiling . dean’s father , john , witnessed the terrible end of his wife’s life & though he made it out alive with both sam & dean , the event would irreversibly change him .

john became obsessed with discovering what it was that killed mary . he learned to hunt the supernatural & ruthlessly trained his sons to do the same . dean’s toddler life of toys turned into tinkering with guns , his warm bed into dirty motels , & his carefree existence into only worrying over his younger brother . he became the perfect killer but it took a toll on him . his father , far from perfect even before this , became harsh on dean . molding him until he was more dutiful soldier than he was boy . dean did everything his father asked & followed his every order with blind faith & even then he would never be the perfect son to john . sam , on the other hand , rebelled against the life john gave them . though dean tried constantly to settle their explosive arguments as best he could no matter his thoughts on the matter at hand , desperate for peace between the two , he still couldn’t stop sam from running away in the end . he wanted to hate sam for it at first , but he never could .

years later when john went missing on a hunt , dean reached out to his estranged brother for help . the job was supposed to be a simple one but after coming back unsuccessful to the tragic death of sam’s girlfriend ( same as their mothers , in fact ) sam entered back into his life for good .

though the plots of both heaven & hell , sam & dean became pawns in the story of the world’s end . the apocalypse slowly set into motion & started with the winchesters at the center of it all . even though they managed stop the world’s end , though , it was hardly the last threat to humanity . as years passed , the brothers found themselves thrust into apocalypse after apocalypse . an endless cycle that they , eventually , discovered was god’s doing all along . they were simply the main characters of a never ending tragic story that god was writing . furious , the two brothers , with help from their rebel angel best friend & the half angel son on lucifer himself , devised a way to defeat god for good . in the end they succeeded . jack , the mentioned son of lucifer , took god’s place after his defeat . the world is their’s in the end . they , for the first time , get to choose their own paths .

─ 𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 .

there was still a fire at the winchester house when dean was four years old . an accident this time . an electrical fire . a normal tragedy . their mom was still lost but dean , holding onto the bundle that was his little brother , watched as the fire fighters pulled his dad from the flames . sitting with them , brother in his arms , while they consoled him & let him wear their helmets would always be a far more comforting memory to dean than the ones his father gave him in the years to come . john winchester became distant . negligent . borderline abusive . dean did his best to take the bulk of what their grief drowned father put on them , trying to shield sam , & gave a lot of his life to helping raise sam where john fell short . they moved around a lot , finally settling in alucard when dean was around seventeen .

when he was a late teen if he wasn’t at home or sneaking out for a smoke & some girls , dean worked at being a volunteer firefighter . it was something , he thought , slightly productive to do with his life as it was already obvious to him that he wouldn’t be able to go to college with sam still needing him around . at age eighteen , with his high school diploma stating he graduated with average grades , dean officially joined the fire force at an entry level & began saving up money for his own place . a place away from his father but close enough that sam could use it to get away at any time as well . though , as the year went on , he found that john would have been unlikely to allow dean to live under his roof anyway .

dean was notorious with women & thought himself as careful but clearly not as careful as he thought . when he found out he was going to be a dad at eighteen he initially rejected the idea , wanting nothing to do with the child out of fear of turning into his father . sam was the one who talked him down from the anxiety . with his encouragement , dean slowly worked to learn how to be a parent . preparing a room . reading parenting books . anything . it came as a shock a month before the due date to when he found out the mother was backing out of keeping the child . she had been the one initially for raising it at first but suddenly felt she couldn’t do it . though he’d be on his own , dean had steeled himself to becoming a father too much to let the girl to go up for adoption . beverly winchester was born feburary 13th & dean took full custody as her sole guardian . he kept in touch with bevery’s mother still , who went on to study psychology outside alucard .

being a single father was far from easy but dean managed , always taking help where he could from his brother or from friends . one friend even got closer than others . when beverly was nearing three years old , dean started seeing a foreign exchange student from england who was taking classes at the local university & the casual feeling of the affair wasn’t there for long . things blossomed into something serious & when it was discovered she was pregnant , this time dean was far more sure about things than when he was twenty . the wedding was small & around nine months later dean became a father of two as simon joined the winchester family .

for a few years this seemed the perfect arrangement . dean worked up through the ranks at the station , setting himself up to be the new fire chief one day , & raised his kids happily with his wife . but perfect sometimes doesn’t last long . their relationship , after all , had been a rushed one . after around six years , things simply didn’t have the same spark as they used to . the divorce wasn’t nasty , they knew it was a mutual thing , but it still stung . he left the court as a single father again , now with joint custody of his son . he didn’t seen simon much after the divorce . shortly after , he & his mother moved back to england which dean was always bitter about . though simon came to visit sometimes & dean called whenever he could , he always felt like he was far from the boy .

at fourty one , years later , he’s gotten well back on his feet . no serious relationships seem to stick but at work he’s finally gotten fire chief . he misses being in the middle of the action sometimes , but he loves his job nonetheless . if not at work he’s visiting his brother , the bar , fixing his car , or dedicating time to beverly & simon who has recently moved to alucard to be around dean , much to his delight . as his life is coming back to him , though , it is stressing him out . the world was already dangerous without remembering monsters . he feels as though this is just another story he’s now lived out & isn’t even sure whats real .

─ 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .

father to BEVERLY MARSH & SIMON SNOW in alucard . he will absolutely go off on you if you are mean to his kids . yes , this includes other kids who bully his kids . he doesn’t care he’ll yell at you for being an asshole no matter your age . absolutely no one messes with his kids .

has had beverly around since she was born but has seen simon infrequently since he was about six since simon’s mother took him back to england with her . he doesn’t love simon any less , but he ‘s struggling with fact they don’t know each other as well as dean would like . he hates that his son grew up so far away from him with visits & phone calls too few & far in between .

is also now having to cope with the fact that , in this new life he remembers , he doesn’t even HAVE his kids . closest thing he has to a child there is jack & he doesn’t even know if jack is okay .

still has the impala here . can’t have dean without his car .

while he is the fire chief , fixing cars is a huge hobby of his . if he didn’t love his job , he would absolutely leave it to work as a mechanic at the local garage .

while he mostly works on his car himself , he still brings his car to the garage a few times a year for things that his own garage doesn’t have the tools for . they know him there from his recognizable car .

his father has been alive for sometime but he’s recently found out he died from a stroke in his sleep . dean is stuck between the duty of giving his father a proper funeral & his own bitterness at the man for how he treated him & sam . this is only worsened by the memories of john that will come back .

he is bisexual ! because i’ve watched this show & have eyes ! i know ! is he repressed a lot & hasn’t exactly had an offical coming out ? also yes ! doesn’t mean he HASN’T made out & gotten with a guy or two in the past . just means he never felt like he could say anything about it all growing up & now just figures it’s too late .

uuuuuuuuuuuuh anyway . i’ll add to this more if i think of more .

#dean: intro #duality.intro #THIS IS LONG im not sorry #neglect tw #abuse tw

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faejilly · 4 years

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Not to be suddenly serious on your completely justified salt re: Jace -> my salt was bc s1 Jace was insufferable and frustrating!! Every time I really truly wanted to let it go or maybe cut him some slack bc I'm not entirely unsympathetic to him, he somehow managed to double down on his bs :/ Like I was willing to move on from him acting pissy when werewolves took Clary and the infamous 'maybe your mom..." in 1x05, but he, no, he dropped "yes, you did. you lost her" when Alec said he didn't do

anything Jace hadn't done before. What is worse this shit was followed by his entitled self-righteous behavior in 1x06 like you don't get to treat Alec crappy and then demand his help and act as if he's supposed to simply come around (unpopular opinion but I don't like their scene at the end of 1x06). And this is only one example! Thus, I'm like Alec's punches, verbal and actual ones alike, were lethal and brutal and I'm not unsympathetic to Jace but his stupid dumb ass had it coming

[re: this post]

I mean

I agreed with your salt the first time nonny, but

The show tells us that Jace loves Alec and would die for him. It tells us that he’s a good Shadowhunter, an excellent fighter and a valued soldier. That means that for everyone to believe such things (and they clearly do), historically he gets the job done, values the parabatai bond itself (we see that he was the one who pushed for it, in fact) and regularly protects Alec to the best of his ability. The show explicitly tells us all these things, makes it clear that’s how everyone else views their relationship, that that past is both well-known and well-supported by the other characters’ behavior.

Does the show actually show us any of that beyond a few brief moments in s1? No. But. It’s not, on a technical level, a very good show. It frequently says one thing and shows something else and clearly never notices the disconnect.

This means, if we’re stupidly invested in the characters (like I am, obviously) we need to look at the show and decide what we think canon was trying to say, whether that’s actually what it said or not.

Where does that leave us with Jace?

You can absolutely look at canon and decide Jace is a spoiled asshole who they’d mostly be better off without. (Obviously that’s not where I ended up, but you do you, darlings. It’s ok to hate the fictional character, god knows there are a ton of them I think their assorted media would be better without.)

Is he a con artist who wants to be thought of as a good man and has somehow fooled the entire NY Institute with his charm and ability to kill things? (Jace would say yes, he has several moments where he refers to himself as irredeemable, or monstrous, or dark, or useless. He believes he’s a terrible person.) This is, tbqh, supported by a lot of his behavior towards Alec, he’s lashing out and cruel and dismissive in a way that is very hard to watch, and doesn’t seem to actually have much to do with Clary at all, even though she’s positioned as the reason for this behavior. (I think, instead, she is, as usual, the catalyst for change rather than the cause.)

But Alec and Izzy clearly adore him, and they’re not generally tolerant of cruelty.

So what the fuck is he doing?

Jace was an abused child, who’s still very young, and is aggressively against any sort of self-assessment or self-reflection, because he’s sure if he looks too closely he’s going to see that he’s a monster, that his father broke him, that there’s no coming back from that. (And in some ways, he’s right, he’ll never know what it’s like to be a person who wasn’t abused, and for as long as he tries to pretend it doesn’t matter, he’s never going to be able to set it aside.) So he doesn’t, on any deep level, know who he is. He relies on other people to define himself. (He relies on Alec, and then Izzy, and then the rest of the Lightwoods, and after that maybe everyone else, but clearly they’re not that important.)

I think, based on how angry he is when Simon tries to call out his behavior towards Alec, how confused he is when Alec isn’t just always there at his shoulder for whatever insanity he’s trying to do next, Jace’s entire life is framed around an idealized version of Alec as his center.

He doesn’t really relate to Alec as a person. Alec is his proof of humanity. Alec is his parabatai, they share souls, Alec is the reason Jace isn’t entirely a monster.

Just mostly.

Now, Jace knows Alec is gay. Jace cannot deal with that fact, because Shadowhunters are not allowed to be gay. Jace seems aware of this in a way that Isabelle isn’t, seems aware that if Alec is forced out of the closet that he could lose his brother, his anchor, his soul-bond.

And I like to think it’s because of Michael Wayland.

The show never addresses this, but the books do, and we know everyone making the show read the books, so. We have Jace, who knows his “father” was Robert’s parabatai, (that’s why he got sent to the Lightwoods after his father’s death, after all) and also that, despite being parabatai, they weren’t together anymore. Their bond was so weak Robert didn’t even know when Michael died. (He can’t have, or Valentine’s masquerade never would’ve worked.) It’s not an entirely unreasonable leap to assume Jace would’ve wanted to know why, how such a thing happened to a literal soul-bond... and that he found out that Michael was gay, and that was probably why he’d been “exiled” away to his estate. Whether Michael self-exiled to get away from Robert’s reaction, or Robert discreetly ‘encouraged’ him to get away from The Clave kind of doesn’t matter... the end result was that Jace was alone in the Wayland Estate (with a monstrous father) for the first ten years of his life, and he can’t let that happen again, not to himself, and not to Alec.

(Is this in canon anywhere? No, but it fits, and I like it, so.)

If Alec admits he’s gay, Jace will lose him. So Jace can’t let him do that. Which means he clearly can’t ever address Alec’s infatuation with him, either. Which means a lot of conversations about emotions or friendship or personal beliefs can’t be had, because Jace is always almost as much on guard against Alec’s secrets as Alec is, and every time they don’t talk about any of the things they know about each other, that’s another layer of armor between them and the truth (and a better relationship).

But that’s ok with Jace because he’s doing it for Alec. (Whether it seems like that to Alec himself or not.) Alec is the one who made sure the Lightwoods were Jace’s family, not just a place to stay. Alec saved him, from his father, from his past, from a future where he never did anything right.

There’s a line when they’re outside the City of Bones, when Alec is asking Jace why this girl? and Jace says something about Lightwoods take in strays, don’t they? And he is so clearly trying to be a Lightwood, (not just Jace Wayland), trying to do for Clary what Alec did for him, making that behavior an explicit compliment to Alec. (I am being like you.)

And instead of affirming that, yes you’re a Lightwood, yes you’re doing the right thing, yes you’re saving someone, I’m so proud of you, Alec says you’re nothing like her.

Now, Alec says “you were never a stray” because protecting Jace & Izzy is important enough to him that he’s afraid of protecting Clary, because it’s going to put Jace & Izzy in danger. He’s saying you’re better than her, you’re more important to me.

But what Jace hears is you’re not doing the same thing, you’re not doing the right thing, you’re not like me.

And for all there’d been sniping and aggravation earlier, for all Jace met Clary and went ooooh, shiny, and made a whole slew of reckless decisions, I really believe that that moment outside the City of Bones is when their relationship broke. (Which makes the fact that the physical conflict in their relationship breaks free outside the City of Bones as well several episodes later surprisingly poetic.)

So now, for the first time, Alec disagrees with Jace, and Jace can tell he’s serious about it... and Jace thinks he’s wrong. And Jace doesn’t know what to do with that. (If Alec is an ideal rather than a person, than Alec can’t do anything wrong, and Alec going along with all of Jace & Izzy’s shenanigans must mean they weren’t that wrong either, not that Alec is too over-protective and has massive issues regarding responsibility and self-esteem and personal value.)

When someone falls off the pedestal you’ve put them on, it’s only human nature to blame them for failing you, rather than realize that pedestal wasn’t fair and you’re the one who put them up there, and pushed them off again when they couldn’t meet your impossible expectations. So Jace lashes out, because how dare you, the only person I could trust and respect unconditionally, be wrong!

Which is egregiously unfair, so I agree, he deserved Alec practically trying to kill him, though it’s obviously horrifying that that’s how far it had to go for him to realize what he was doing.

But it’s not surprising, both because of his inability to look at himself and that pedestal he’s got Alec on... it would take something cataclysmic to break through both those mindsets.Which is why it took Clary breaking the entire Shadow World to also break their issues out into the open. They were both too well-guarded to do it themselves.

#shadowhunters #sh meta #my sh rambling #jace wayland #jace lightwood #parabatai feels #I guess?#sorry nonny this got a little out of hand #again #*snorts*#Anonymous #jilly answers

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nerdygaymormon · 6 years

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David Simmons

David Simmons is a professor of Film Studies and Humanities at Northwest Florida State College (NWFSC) in Niceville, FL. That’s a very small town about half-way between Pensacola & Tallahassee in the Florida panhandle which is “the reddest of the red part of Florida.”

He attended BYU for both his Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, and taught at the Missionary Training Center during that time. While at BYU he performed in several operas and plays, and was in Concert Choir and BYU Singers. He earned his Ph.D. from Florida State University.

He makes a big impact in his north Florida community. He organized an on-campus Film Club, and a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA). As faculty advisor to the GSA, he’s helped them organize the area’s first LGBTQ Masquerade ball, which was open to the public. He also organized the city of Niceville’s very first Pride Walk.

He attends his local ward where he’s the choir director. “It’s difficult being gay and being a member of the church. It shouldn’t have to be. The Gospel is for everyone. But sadly, some members don’t think that.” He describes his ward as “a very conservative, military ward” (there’s an air force base nearby).

Can you imagine being a queer kid in this conservative little town of 12,000 and all of a sudden, there’s someone openly gay who is making safe spaces and raising the profile of the queer community?

This past week he was invited by his bishop to speak on ministering to LGBTQ members during a joint 3rd-hour meeting (5th Sunday). He says “There was a lot of pushback after I finished the talk, but that’s OK. I want to help church to be more loving for those who come after me.”

—————————————————————

“By This Shall All Men Know Ye Are My Disciples” Dr. David C. Simmons Sep. 30, 2018

On the last night of his mortal life, Jesus invited Judas to leave so that He could give a special message to his remaining 11 apostles (John 13:27-31). In Jesus’ Final Sermon, He gave them a sign, a way to tell who are Jesus’ true followers and who are not: “By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35).

In other words, Jesus knew there would be some who would claim to be His followers, but are not. We can recognize them, both in and out of the Church, because instead of loving those who are different than they are, they put them down in a self-righteous way.

Jesus went to the outsiders of his local community: the sinners, the poor, the lame, the blind, the lepers. He was teaching His true followers, in both word and deed, how to develop the capacity to love like He does.

In our day, some of the ones who have been treated the harshest by Christian churches are members of the LGBTQ community. A few supposed-Christians use passages of scripture, or proclamations, or words from bygone leaders as weapons to harm the very natures of these children of God.

I work with LGBTQ students at the College. I’ve listened to their stories. I’ve heard time and time again how they have been rejected by their families, their churches, and their communities, just for being who they are.(1)

Many of their “Christian” parents, thinking they were “doing God service” (John 16:2), threw them out of their homes and families. Now these teenagers are homeless. LGBTQ youth are 120% more likely to experience homelessness than their peers.(2)

LGBTQ youth are also 5 times more likely to commit suicide than their peers.(3) Nearly half of all LGBTQ youth have attempted suicide more than once.(4) And rates are even worse among LGBTQ youth who are members of the Church. Teen suicide rates in Utah have doubled since 2011, while the rest of the country did not see an increase.(5)

Why is this?

I want you to imagine that you were born as a member of the LGBTQ community. You grew up in Primary singing, “I Am a Child of God.” But then, at some point you were told by those who are closest to you, by those whom you love and trust to tell you the truth, that God doesn’t love you—that He has no place for you in the plan of salvation.

What are your options at that point? It seems that none of them are very good:

1) You can remain in the Church and live a lonely, pain-filled existence.(6) While everyone around you is boasting about the joy of marriage and being part of a family, you are constantly reminded that that is not for you.

2) You can leave the Church and find love and a family. But then you are left without the great spiritual helps the Gospel of Jesus Christ can offer.

3) You can marry someone of the opposite sex and may not be fulfilled. The Church does not encourage this anymore(7) because divorce rates in mixed-orientation marriages are far higher—80%(8)—and then often involve children.(9)

Can you feel that none of these options are fulfilling? Perhaps this is why so many LGBTQ members of the Church lose all hope and purpose and then may choose to end their lives.(10)

The Church is concerned about this. Just last month, on August 9, 2018, ward councils all over the world received a document called “Preventing Suicide and Responding after a Loss.” It begins with: “Members of the Church everywhere are invited to take an active role within their communities to minister to those who have thoughts of suicide or who are grieving a loss.”(11)

The Church is changing considerably how it ministers with love to its LGBTQ members.(12)

When Dan Reynolds, the lead singer of Imagine Dragons, organized an Aug. 2017 concert in Provo called LoveLoud, to let LGBTQ members know they are loved,(13) the Church put out an official statement endorsing that event: “We applaud the LoveLoud Festival for LGBT youth’s aim to bring people together to address teen safety and to express respect and love for all of God’s children. We join our voice with all who come together to foster a community of inclusion in which no one is mistreated because of who they are or what they believe. We share common beliefs, among them the pricelessness of our youth and the value of families. We earnestly hope this festival and other related efforts can build respectful communication, better understanding and civility as we all learn from each other.”(14)

Just two weeks ago, on Sep. 17, 2018, the Church called Elizabeth Jane Darger, a longtime LGBTQ advocate,(15) to be on the General Young Women’s Board.(16) What a powerful voice to have advocating for LGBTQ youth in the Young Women’s program!

The Church also has an official website, Mormon and Gay (mormonandgay.lds.org). It features the stories of many LGBTQ members, which are helpful for putting yourself in their shoes, so you can grow in understanding.(17)

This Church website also teaches several important principles:

1) “God loves all of us. He loves those of different faiths and those without any faith. He loves those who suffer. He loves the rich and poor alike. He loves people of every race and culture, the married or single, and those who. . . identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And God expects us to follow his example.”(18)

2) “No true follower of Christ is justified in withholding love because you decide to identify [as a member of the LGBTQ community].”(19)

3) “God’s plan is perfect, even if our current understanding of His plan is not.”(20)

We don’t see the whole picture right now. As Paul taught: “For we know in part, and we prophesy in part” (1 Corinthians 13:9-13). Since we only “see through a glass, darkly” in relation to many eternal things, instead of pretending that we fully understand God’s will in all ways, shouldn’t we act on what He has called us to do: love? That was the Savior’s prime commission to His followers. Indeed, it’s how they would be identified by others as His true disciples.

The problem may lie in our understanding of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. Some members may look at them as having a physical impairment that needs fixing. Both Elder Holland, in General Conference,(21) and the Church’s official website explain that this is not true(22). LGBTQ members are not choosing a “lifestyle”; it is how they are.

If we could learn to see our LGBTQ brothers and sisters like the Savior sees them, it would change our entire worldview and behavior. We would never make jokes about the LGBTQ community in our daily interactions. We would never express disgust at someone whose gender or sexuality was different than ours. We would never teach a child to turn off the TV when an LGBTQ person talks about their life.(23) Such actions not only contain unknowing bias and privilege, but are also doing untold harm to the lived lives of our brothers and sisters.

Statistically, at least 5% of the population is a member of the LGBTQ community,(24) with some recent surveys having this percentage far higher.(25) Even if we take the lower figure, that means that in a ward of 500 people, there may be at least 25 LGBTQ members. That so many of them are now less active is telling.

You and I both know multiple members, including young men and young women, who have passed through our ward, and been told they were “others,” or “less than,” or “outsiders” because of their gender or their sexuality. They sat through well-meaning but uninformed talks and lessons where a statement or teaching was weaponized against them. They were made to feel as though there was no place for them in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Today, many of them have left the embracing arms of the Savior, His atonement, and His restored gospel. What a breathtaking, unbelievable loss for us, for them, and for God.

We still love them. But wouldn’t it better if they had these things to bless their lives too? Aren’t they better off inside the Church, rather than being forced away because of the unkind words and deeds of those who should be followers of Jesus Christ? Isn’t that what true ministering is all about? Reaching out with love to people no matter where they are on their spiritual journey?

Last month, speaking in a BYU Devotional, Eric D. Huntsman, a Professor of Ancient Scripture, explained our need to minister with love to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters: “We should never fear that we are compromising when we make the choice to love. . . . Accepting others. . .means simply that we allow the realities of their lives to be different than our own. Whether those realities mean that they look, act, feel, or experience life differently than we do, the unchanging fact is that they are children of loving heavenly parents, and the same Jesus suffered and died for them, as for us. Not just for LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers but for many people, the choice to love can literally make the difference between life and death.”(26)

Undoubtedly, there are those in this room who will have children, other family members, or friends who will come out to you. It will be one of the most painfully vulnerable moments of their life. Decide right now, that you will respond immediately with overwhelming love and kindness. That’s all you have to do. Just put your arms around them and say, “Thank you for telling me. I love you just like you are.”

Think to yourself, “How would the Savior reach out with love?” Then love like that. It may take having to unlearn some of the things your local culture has taught you in order to walk the higher way of the Law of the Gospel (loving like Jesus loved).

Seek out LGBTQ people in your circles of influence. Get to know them and their stories. Instead of correcting and instructing, just listen, feel, and love them for who they are. Become a powerful friend and ally.

If you don’t have the strength to do this yet, cry out to your God for strength, for courage, and for the ability to develop the capacity to love as He loves.

If you are a member of the LGBTQ community, try this experiment. Go home tonight and pray in secret: “Dear Heavenly Father, do you love me?” Feel God’s immense peace and love wash over you as He confirms this with certainty. You are His child and He loves you. The Gospel is for you too.

Conclusion The Holy Ghost bears record to our souls that God loves all of his children, not just his straight children. He loves his gay children, his lesbian children, his bi children, his trans children, and those who are still trying to understand the divine way he made them. The atonement of Jesus Christ is for everyone.

Nephi taught this sublime, eternal truth: “[The Savior] inviteth all to come unto him and partake of his goodness.” What does “all” mean? It means “all.”

“And he denieth none that come unto him.” What does “none” mean? It’s means “none.”

“Black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen [that means non-member]; and all are alike unto God” (2 Nephi 26:33, emphasis added).

It’s my testimony that the Savior’s atonement is for everyone. He wants us to establish Zion right here and right now. But that can only be done by partaking of the atonement, and allowing our natures to be changed so that we are filled with love for everyone, especially those whom our local culture deems as “outsiders.” Then we can’t wait to go forth, becoming the Savior’s hands to lift, to minister, and to love others.

In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

[If you need someone to talk with about the ideas presented here, please email me (David Simmons): [email protected]]

Appendix 1: Scriptures, Quotes, and Resources for Further Study

“Mormon LGBT Questions.” Bryce Cook, March 17, 2017. This is the most profound resource on how the Church’s view on LGBTQ members has changed over time. I think every member of the Church should read it. If it’s too long, read a summary here:

“LGBT Questions: An Essay.” By Common Consent, March 19, 2017. This is a summary of Bryce Cook’s landmark “Mormon LGBT Questions” document.

Mormon and Gay. This is the Church’s official website. They recently changed the name from mormonsandgays to mormonandgay to acknowledge the many members who are both.

“Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith.” Eric D. Huntsman. Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches. A masterful talk given last month at a BYU Devotional about our need to love each other wherever we are on our spiritual journey.

“A Mission President’s Beautiful Response When a Missionary Came Out to Him as Gay.” LDS Living, Aug. 27, 2018. Cal Burke’s inspiring story about coming out to his mission president and being received with love.

“Mormon and/or Gay?” By Common Consent, Aug. 20, 2018. How we often unknowingly use “othering” language in our discourse about our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“To Mourn with Gay Friends That Mourn.” By Common Consent, Oct. 4, 2017. Why we often correct and instruct rather than listen and feel when we talk with our LGBTQ brothers and sisters.

“An Open Letter to Latter-Day Saints: When a Gay Person Shows Up at Church.” By Common Consent, Nov. 8, 2015. A discussion of the unbearable choice given to LGBTQ members.

That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. Tom Christofferson. SLC: Deseret Book: Sep. 2017. An apostle’s gay brother tells his experience of being unconditionally loved and supported by his family and bishopric after coming out to them. You can purchase it here.

President M. Russell Ballard • “I want anyone who is a member of the Church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and I recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home.”(27)

Elder Quentin L. Cook • “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”(28)

Matthew 9: Loving Outsiders is More Important than Church Ritual • Matthew 9:10-11 “And it came to pass, as Jesus sat at meat in the house, behold, many publicans and sinners came and sat down with him and his disciples. And when the Pharisees saw it, they said unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with publicans and sinners?” Here, church leaders and members are rebuking Jesus for being with tax collectors (a hated segment of society, that were often excommunicated from the synagogues) and sinners • Matthew 9:12-13 “But when Jesus heard that, he said unto them, They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick. But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy [Greek: eleos, “love” or “compassion”] and not sacrifice.” Jesus is here quoting Hosea 6:6, where He once told the prophet: “I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices” (N.L.T. Hosea 6:6). In other words, showing love to the outcasts of society is more important than church rituals. It’s more important than partaking of the sacrament. It’s more important than going to the temple. If you don’t love others (especially the outsiders, like Jesus did) than none of the rituals • N.L.T. Matthew 9:13 “For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.” Jesus is very clear with these church leaders and members who think they are following all the rules, but yet are looking on the outcasts of society, that they are in a far worse position than those they look down on. They are the greater sinners.

Humble Outsiders Will Go Into the Kingdom of God before SelfRighteous Members • Matthew 21:31 During His mortal ministry, the Savior had some of his harshest words to say to members of the Church who were afflicted by self-righteous-itis. They thought they were better than females, or the poor, or those outside certain family lines. To them, He said: “The publicans and harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.” • Matthew 22:1-14 Jesus also told the parable of the marriage of the king’s son, where those who were bidden to the marriage dinner “would not come,” so the king tells his servants to go out to the highways and gather as many of those the world deemed as outsiders, to come partake of the feast. He said to do this because “many are called [baptized members of the Church], but few are chosen [to live the way the Savior lives].” • The Savior Himself went to the poor, the lame, the leprous, the blind, to those whom society deemed outsiders. If we want to be like Him, we shouldn’t align ourselves with the self-righteous in our day and put down the vulnerable and the outsiders. We should instead follow His example and seek out those who may have been labeled “outsiders.”

The Outsiders Will Go Into Heaven Before Complacent Members • Luke 14:15 “And when one of them that sat at meat with him heard these things, he said unto him, Blessed is he that shall eat bread in the kingdom of God.” Since this teaching may not be absolutely clear, Jesus gives a parable to explain it—the Parable of the Great Supper. • Luke 14:16-17 “Then said he unto him, A certain man made a great supper, and bade many: and sent his servant at supper time to say to them that were bidden, Come; for all things are now ready.” What’s the supper? Feasting on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This is such a beautiful image. When we take it inside of us, it becomes part of who we are (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • How do we accept the invitation to the Supper? Through baptism (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • Luke 14:18-20 “And they all with one consent began to make excuse. The first said unto him, I have bought a piece of ground, and I must needs go and see it: I pray thee have me excused. And another said, I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I go to prove them: I pray thee, have me excused. And another said, I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.” What excuses do people make not to come to the feast? New ground, new oxen, new wife. There are many reasons that people can give for not putting the Gospel of Jesus Christ first in their lives. Do we ever put possessions, or even family members, before the Savior? What does Jesus say about this in verse 26? “If any man come to me and [Greek “doesn’t love less”] his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also; or in other words, is afraid to lay down his life for my sake; he cannot be my disciple” (J.S.T. Luke 14:26). This is tough. What do you do if your wife wants you to stay home instead of doing your home teaching? What do you do if your parents tell you they will disown you if you get baptized into the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ? When I was on my mission in Texas, there was an 18-year-old non-member girl named Letti who went to seminary with some of her friends, felt the Spirit of God tell her it was true, and knew she needed to join. But her parents told her that if she did, she would no longer be considered one of their family. What a tough choice for anyone to have to make. Yet, she went through with her decision to be baptized anyway, for she could not put other things—even family—before the Savior. Letti was being a true disciple of Jesus Christ. She put him first above all things, even her own family • Luke 14:21-24 “So that servant came, and shewed his lord these things. Then the master of the house being angry said to his servant, Go out quickly into the streets and lanes of the city and bring in hither the poor, and the maimed, and the halt, and the blind. And the servant said, Lord it is done as thou hast commanded, and yet there is room. And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. For I say unto you, That none of those men which were bidden shall taste of my supper.” What does this mean? • 1) Since the Jews, the Lord’s covenant people, were rejecting the supper, that great feast of the Gospel was just about to go to the spiritually poor, maimed, halt, and blind: in other words, the Gentiles, beginning at the time of Paul (Schaelling, C.E.S. Institute Lecture, “Great Supper”). • 2) For me, individually, it means I need to come and partake of the Savior, and his Gospel, and have this mighty value change in my life where I realize that earthly things are only here to be turned into eternal things by using them to help other people, so that my place at the eternal feast doesn’t go to someone else who is more giving, more loving, and more compassionate than I am. I need tobe like the Savior.

Matthew 19:30 The First Shall Be Last and the Last Shall Be First • Jesus said: “But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.” • As Dr. Fatimah Sellah recently said: “I’ve long believed of the marginalized of this church and the world, that if the first shall be last and the last shall be first: I’d be careful if I were first right now. I’d be careful if I were the ones at the pulpits and held the power. God is a God of disruption and flips things on its head.”(29)

Ephesians 2:19 There Are No Outsiders in God’s Church • “Now therefore ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God.”

President Brigham Young • “The least, the most inferior person now upon the earth . . . is worth worlds” (Journal of Discourses 9:124).

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf • “Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin. We can even make the mistake of thinking that because someone is different from us, it must mean they are not pleasing to God. This line of thinking leads some to believe that the Church wants to create every member from a single mold—that each one should look, feel, think, and behave like every other. This would contradict the genius of God, who created every man different from his brother, every son different from his father. . . . As disciples of Jesus Christ, we are united in our testimony of the restored gospel and our commitment to keep God’s commandments. But we are diverse in our cultural, social, and political preferences. The Church thrives when we take advantage of this diversity and encourage each other to develop and use our talents to lift and strengthen our fellow disciples” (“Four Titles.” Ensign. May 2013).

Bishop Gerald Causse, First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric • “During His earthly ministry, Jesus was an example of one who went far beyond the simple obligation of hospitality and tolerance. Those who were excluded from society, those who were rejected and considered to be impure by the self-righteous, were given His compassion and respect. They received an equal part of His teachings and ministry. • “For example, the Savior went against the established customs of His time to address the woman of Samaria, asking her for some water. He sat down to eat with publicans and tax collectors. He didn’t hesitate to approach the leper, to touch him and heal him. Admiring the faith of the Roman centurion, He said to the crowd, “Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel” (Matthew 8:10; see also 8:2-3; Mark 1:40-42; 2:15; John 4:7-9). • “In this Church there are no strangers and no outcasts. There are only brothers and sisters. The knowledge that we have of an Eternal Father helps us be more sensitive to the brotherhood and sisterhood that should exist among all men and women upon the earth. • “A passage from the novel Les Misérables illustrates how priesthood holders can treat those individuals viewed as strangers. Jean Valjean had just been released as a prisoner. Exhausted by a long voyage and dying of hunger and thirst, he arrives in a small town seeking a place to find food and shelter for the night. When the news of his arrival spreads, one by one all the inhabitants close their doors to him. Not the hotel, not the inn, not even the prison would invite him in. He is rejected, driven away, banished. Finally, with no strength left, he collapses at the front door of the town’s bishop. The good clergyman is entirely aware of Valjean’s background, but he invites the vagabond into his home with these compassionate words: “‘This is not my house; it is the house of Jesus Christ. This door does not demand of him who enters whether he has a name, but whether he has a grief. You suffer, you are hungry and thirsty; you are welcome. … What need have I to know your name? Besides, before you told me [your name], you had one which I knew.’ “[Valjean] opened his eyes in astonishment. “‘Really? You knew what I was called?’ “‘Yes,’ replied the Bishop, ‘you are called my brother.’” (Les Miserables 1:73). • “In this Church our wards and our quorums do not belong to us. They belong to Jesus Christ. Whoever enters our meetinghouses should feel at home. • “It is very likely that the next person converted to the gospel in your ward will be someone who does not come from your usual circle of friends and acquaintances. You may note this by his or her appearance, language, manner of dress, or color of skin. This person may have grown up in another religion, with a different background or a different lifestyle. • “We all need to work together to build spiritual unity within our wards and branches. An example of perfect unity existed among the people of God after Christ visited the Americas. The record observes that there were no “Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.” (4 Nephi 1:17). • “Unity is not achieved by ignoring and isolating members who seem to be different or weaker and only associating with people who are like us. On the contrary, unity is gained by welcoming and serving those who are new and who have particular needs. These members are a blessing for the Church and provide us with opportunities to serve our neighbors and thus purify our own hearts. • “Reach out to anyone who appears at the doors of your Church buildings. Welcome them with gratitude and without prejudice. If people you do not know walk into one of your meetings, greet them warmly and invite them to sit with you. Please make the first move to help them feel welcome and loved, rather than waiting for them to come to you. • “After your initial welcome, consider ways you can continue to minister to them. I once heard of a ward where, after the baptism of two deaf sisters, two marvelous Relief Society sisters decided to learn sign language so they could better communicate with these new converts. What a wonderful example of love for fellow brothers and sisters in the gospel! • “I bear witness that no one is a stranger to our Heavenly Father. There is no one whose soul is not precious to Him. • “I pray that when the Lord gathers His sheep at the last day, He may say to each one of us, “I was a stranger, and ye took me in.” Then we will say to Him, “When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in?” And He will answer us, “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:35-40). In the name of Jesus Christ, amen” (“Ye Are No More Strangers,” General Conference, October 2013).

ENDNOTES ——————————

(1) McKeon, Jennie. “NWFSC Students Hosting Inaugural Gay Ball.” WUWF. Sep. 20, 2018. http://www.wuwf.org/post/nwfsc-students-hostinginaugural-gay-ball

(2) Silva, Christina. “LGBT Youth are 120% More Likely to Be Homeless Than Straight People, Study Shows.” Newsweek. Nov. 30, 2017. https://www.newsweek.com/lgbt-youth-homeless-study-727595

(3) “Facts About Suicide.” The Trevor Project. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/factsabout-suicide/#sm.001r5tfiv1doccqtqy6168cjea5zn

(4) http://www.speakforthem.org/facts.html

(5) Utah Department of Health, https://ibis.health.utah.gov/pdf/opha/publication/hsu/SE04_SuicideE piAid.pdf See also: Hatch, Heidi. “Is Utah’s Youth Suicide Rate Linked to Utah’s Culture Surrounding LGBT?” https://kutv.com/news/local/isutahs-youth-suicide-rate-linked-to-utahs-culture-surrounding-lgbt See also the Church’s official page on LGBTQ suicide: https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/depression-andsuicide?lang=eng

(6) “My Life at BYU-I as a Gay Mormon.” https://zelphontheshelf.com/mylife-at-byu-i-as-a-gay-mormon/

(7) “President Hinckley. . .made this statement: ‘Marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations or practices.’” https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/interview-oaks-wickmansame-gender-attraction

(8) Kort, Joe. “Mixed-Orientation Marriages.” GLBTQ. 2015. http://www.glbtqarchive.com/ssh/mixed_orientation_marriages_S.pdf

(9) Carol Kuruvilla, “Gay Mormon Who Became Famous for Mixed Orientation Marriage Is Divorcing His Wife.” Huffington Post. Jan. 29, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gay-mormon-josh-weeddivorce_us_5a6f331be4b06e253269d34a

(10) Lang, Nico. “‘I See My Son In Every One of Them’: With a Spike in Suicides, Parents of Utah’s Queer Youth Fear the Worst.” Vox. March 20, 2017. https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/3/20/14938950/mormonutah-lgbtq-youth

(11) This document outlines the warning signs for suicide: • Looking for a way to kill themselves • Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live • Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain • Talking about being a burden to others • Acting anxious or agitated or behaving recklessly • Withdrawing or isolating themselves • Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge • Displaying extreme mood swings When you many of these there are three things to remember: Ask, Care, Tell.

1) Ask. Ask the person directly if they are thinking about suicide. If they say yes, ask: “Do you have a plan to hurt yourself.” If the answer is yes, call a crisis helpline. (The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.) If the answer is no, move to step 2: 2) Care. Show that you care by listening to what they say. Give them time to explain how they are feeling. Respect their feelings by saying something like: “I’m sorry you are in so much pain. I didn’t realize how hard things are for you right now.” You might offer to help them make a Suicide-Prevention Safety Plan that helps people identify their personal strengths, positive relationships and healthy coping skills. 3) Tell. Encourage the person to tell someone who can offer more support. If they will not seek help, you may need to tell someone for them. You may want to say something like: “I care about you and want you to be safe. I’m going to tell someone who can offer you the help you need.” Respect them by letting them pick the resource, such as a someone on the free crisis helpline.

(12) For the best, most-thorough examination of the how the Church’s position regarding LGBTQ members has changed since the days of President Kimball, see: Cook, Bryce. “Mormon LGBT Questions.” March 17, 2017. I think every member of the Church should read this. https://mormonlgbtquestions.com/2017/03/17/what-do-we-know-ofgods-will-for-his-lgbt-children-an-examination-of-the-lds-churchsposition-on-homosexuality/

(13) A documentary called Believer (2018) tells the fascinating, dramatic story of the lead-up to this concert: https://www.hbo.com/content/hboweb/en/documentaries/believer/a bout.html Here’s how you can watch it: https://heavy.com/entertainment/2018/06/watch-believerdocumentary-online/

(14) Official Church Statement, August 16, 2017, https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/church-statement-loveloud-festival

(15) Cynthia L. “New YW and RS Boards Include Two Black Women, ‘Common Ground’ LGBT Inclusion Advocate.” Sep. 18, 2018. https://bycommonconsent.com/2018/09/18/new-yw-and-rs-boardsinclude-two-black-women-common-ground-lgbt-inclusionadvocate/#more-106875

(16) https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/new-latter-day-saintgeneral-board-members-named

(17) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/stories?lang=eng

(18) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/church-teachings?lang=eng

(19) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/who-am-i?lang=eng

(20) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/gods-plan?lang=eng

(21) “I must say, this son’s sexual orientation did not somehow miraculously change—no one assumed it would.” Holland, Jeffrey R. “Behold Thy Mother.” Oct. 2015 General Conference. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/behold-thymother?lang=eng

(22) “A change in attraction should not be expected or demanded as an outcome by parents or leaders.” https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/frequently-askedquestions?lang=eng

(23) Nick Einbender, Post on “Mormons Building Bridges,” Sep. 18, 2018. https://www.facebook.com/groups/mormonsbuildingbridges/permali nk/1513907792043410/

(24) Steinmetz, Katy. “How Many Americans Are Gay?” Time. May 16, 2016. http://time.com/lgbt-stats/

(25) It is likely a much larger percentage. In another study, 20% of Millennials (ages 18-34) self-identified as LGBTQ; 12% of Generation X (ages 35-53); 7% of the Baby Boomers (ages 52-71). The discrepancy likely arises from an increase in acceptance and safety in the culture the Millennials are growing up in. This makes them more likely to come out as LGBTQ. There are probably equal numbers throughout history, but it wasn’t as safe for older generations to come out for fear of violence, rejection, loss of job security, and loss of standing in the community. See Gonella, Catalina. NBC News. March 31, 2017. https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/survey-20-percentmillennials-identify-lgbtq-n740791

(26) Eric D. Huntsman, “Hard Sayings and Safe Spaces: Making Room for Struggle as Well as Faith,” Aug. 7, 2018, BYU Speeches, https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/eric-d-huntsman_hard-sayings-andsafe-spaces-making-room-for-both-struggle-and-faith/

(27) “Questions and Answers.” BYU Speeches, Nov. 14, 2017. https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/m-russell-ballard_questions-andanswers/

(28) https://mormonandgay.lds.org/articles/love-one-another-adiscussion-on-same-sex-attraction

(29) Dr. Fatimah S. Salleh, Affirmation Conference, July 22, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyoXa9z76v0

#David Simmons #lgbt history month #lgbtq+ mormons #lgbtq+ lds #queerstake

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FAITH AND DEEDS

Can I pray for you in any way?

Send any prayer requests to [email protected] In Christ, Mark

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The scriptures. May God bless the reading of His holy word.

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

“But someone will say, ‘You have faith; I have deeds.’”

“Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.”

“You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.”

“In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”

James 2:14-26, 3:13

This ends today’s reading from God's holy word. Thanks be to God.

Faith.

It’s something that most people possess but what that faith is placed in can vary dramatically.

Some people place all their faith themselves. They feel so self assured that there’s no need to redirect their faith in anyone else.

Some people place their faith in other people sometimes to the place of dependency. These people are the polar opposite of the self confident people. They see their inadequacies and adopt an attitude of reliance, seeking people to do for them what they can’t do for themselves.

Still other people place their faith in material things, like their money, job, or possessions, a dangerous proposition because all material things can be fleeting, here today and gone tomorrow.

And then there are those who place their faith in a higher power, a spiritual power they see as far greater than themselves. This is the premise for almost all of the world’s religions and it is certainly central to Christianity. Christians realize they are sinners who fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23) and therefore deserve His judgment. They see themselves as helpless and on the road to eternal damnation unless a higher power steps in to save them. God sent that higher power in the form of the Savior Jesus Christ and only faith and belief in Him can bring a person to salvation. No one or nothing else can but Him.

In saying this, you can see where it’s absolutely useless and foolish to invest your faith in anything but Jesus. And yet, people misallocate their faith daily, sometimes to a fault.

But note that it’s just not good enough in God’s sight to have faith in Jesus. We need to put our faith to work and let our deeds show the evidence of our Christ-centered faith. This is clear as we look at our scripture passage for today.

There we learn that faith and deeds go hand and hand together. Our faith leads us to serve the needs of other and to do good unto them and, in turn, those deeds help others see the faith that is in us, especially since they open up doors for us to testify about the goodness of our Lord who purposes and equips us to do good works in accordance with His will.

Speaking to a predominantly Jewish audience, we find James use two prominent Old Testament examples to drive his point home regarding the inseparable relationship between faith and deeds.

Abraham had great faith. God commanded him to leave his country and everything behind to go to a land unknown. Abraham didn’t question God. Instead he went and God blessed him for his righteousness which was grounded in faith. Still, this wasn’t enough. God put Abraham to the greatest test possible to see just how deep his faith ran, ordering Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac. Think about that for a minute. You have a child you love dearly, your own flesh and blood, and God tells you to put them to death.

Could you do it? Would you be willing to let your deeds show your faith?

It’s extremely difficult and gut wrenchingly scary. But Abraham, unwilling to be obedient to God no matter the cost, took his son, made a makeshift altar, and was just about to sacrifice him as God commanded before the Lord stopped him and brought a ram onto the scene as a substitutionary sacrifice. Isaac was spared from death and Abraham was spared from carrying out the human sacrifice but only after he had shown his faith by way of his deeds.

And then there was Rahab the prostitute. You’ll remember that after Moses’ passing, Joshua became the leader of the Israelites, the one chosen by God to lead His people into Canaan.

Before he led the Israelites across the Jordan River, Joshua sent two spies to do surveillance on the land and they found themselves in the home of Rahab. When the king of Jericho got wind that the spies had entered his territory, he sent a message to Rahab asking for her to hand the spies over. But Rahab didn’t do it. Instead, she hid the two Israelites on the roof of her home and then reported that the spies were no longer there, having seized an opportunity to flee. Believing her story, the men sent by the king of Jericho went out of the city in pursuit of the spies, unbeknownst they had not escaped at all.

The scriptures tell us that Rahab went to the spies and professed her belief in God, knowing that His presence was with the spies and the Israelites, and that the land she inhabited was destined to be theirs. Before helping them to escape their pursuers by dropping a rope out her window which just so happened to be located on the city wall, all Rahab asked was that the Israelites would show kindness and mercy to her family when they did invade and take over the land. And as we know from God’s word, that’s exactly what happened.

Rahab believed in God. She had faith that God could do whatever He wanted to include show grace to her and her family after He had given her land over to the Israelites. But note she didn’t just rest on her faith without deeds. Instead, she allowed herself to serve God by protecting the men He had dispatched to survey the land before He gave it to them.

Both Abraham and Rahab showed faith that was alive and it was their deeds that provided the evidence of this. In them, we see wonderful examples to follow in our own life. But as great as these two Old Testament figures were, they pale in comparison to Jesus, the only One who was perfect in His faith and therefore perfect in the deeds He carried out in His Father’s name. Jesus’ world was never about Himself. Rather, it always was about others as He carried out His Father’s business.

Friends, if we are truly to be considered wise and understanding, we need to show it through our unwavering faith in Jesus Christ and the God who sent Him, reinforcing that faith with our good deeds, deeds done through the guidance of our Lord with the sole intent of bringing Him glory. Jesus showed us the way to this kind of humble life that honors and glorifies our Lord.

All we need to do is follow His lead.

Amen.

In Christ,

Mark

PS: Feel free to leave a comment and please share this with anyone you feel might be blessed by it. Send any prayer requests to [email protected]

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emersonmanandnature · 4 years

Text

July 31, 2020

God’s Commandments

the paddle was swift striking the child, it was his loving duty for god’s commandments were broken reflected in the blood stained underwear, his angry eyes were for those not chosen, a gleeful lightness of guilt was given to him from his cruel father, a satisfaction of his true calling, undermining the natural goodness of his children, insecure in his steady fears and frustrations he grew evermore a victim of his own aggressive faith, a willingness to appease these dire straits with angry accusations and a swift hand to the child’s questioning demands, he saw in himself as the dutiful husband for his savior and father, a child needs his heavenly handed purpose to correct mistakes in his flock of innocent sinners in order to rise-up to our known paradise not in these moments present but some illusive place above the evil we must instill in the faithful, god’s wrath, a hellish pain for those that ignore his celestial presence as others denounce him trying to separate the faithful from their true savior of infinite blame, for guilt is the cookie demanded in order to feel safe in his glory we must fear god’s anger, a deafening silence instilled in us through our fathers spiteful insecurities, his insights into his children’s faith made him uproot their innocence to show them the power of the one true god, the consequences of acts of disobedience to his holy word through god’s caring, loving pain and thus the lord’s suffering will become your suffering, for your innocence is no hiding place for corruption of your soul, amen to that, can I get a praise the lord for his love spread thinly amongst the craving of crass humans starving to see this man-god of light secluded for only the few to touch his words and fear his angry silence, saving us from our narrow mindless will of complacent lies toward biblical suppression that created wrongful attitudes amongst the true herded flock praying aggressively in the name of our lord

but you my children will rise above the rest and become pillars of society, understanding, interpreting our lords suffering as a gift we must accept from our almighty father’s love of his only son to be sacrificed and not himself for we must suffer for our despicable human nature, minds untethered losing sight within corrupted instincts and self-centered ruins of a freedom now envied, thinking one’s actions are duly instigated by righteous beliefs I will be the only one to save my children from their inability to conform to the word of his spiritual demands, voiceless, only I can hear in the wee hours before sunlight tries to enter through curtains drawn and the dark space speaks my moods to prepare others for their final judgement, to feel an intruders light footsteps but I am not taken in another drunken stupor spewing sacrilegious untruths to god’s real nature, an inner vice to corrupt their innocence no! not in my, oh I mean his presence, so we must teach them to distrust others, these weeping sinister ploys to disrupt our future resurrection with great acts of demonic intention that will break apart our rising to his lofty throne creating for us a holy folly of sin an intoxication of life’s sensual pleasures, heathens of earthy mustiness, shame on them these voiced indecencies these demons of material wants, beware my children, I will not allow this to become an entity of false faith for I am the lords tool in this beloved household of god’s will we trust above all others, I am your law and I am the punisher and you will obey his holy father through me, for I have seen the end of days and I know the heretics approach us in sin mouthing eden is here on this earth why destroy it and they ask for our love my children in their physical separation of our holy truth where addiction to an invisible savior is projected outward to bring our lord’s flock to our churches and homes where we will be debriefed and held accountable for all sins duly noted, praise forgiveness of innocence for it knows not what it preaches, innocence must

be sacrificed if we are to obtain our saintly goals of submission to his needs, praise our lord jesus christ and his holy mother mary our congregation is blinded by the extravagant masses we perform and the bringing in of famous personalities to ask our flock of sinners to offer up more of their cash to keep this wonderful church going strong until the minister of compassion and his mistress escape out of the country where the preachers off shore accounts are located, praise the lord listen to the priest wallow in his own significance, he raises himself up with a stoic expression, climbs the steps slowly to his almighty pulpit and begins his sermon on the mount, “praise the lord, can I hear from you heathens of vice a louder praise the lord thy god his majesty of all life, you unclean traitors of gods holy will, immoral polluters of flesh, be cast out satan’s flock of cowards, hallelujah god’s wrath is upon you not me my faith is strong and pure, your punishment for his sacrifice on the cross of pain your unfaithfulness is the agony, the pain of being abandoned without salvation, think if you can our jesus, our savior given to us by his half witted father, excuse me, his holy thoughtless father our creator of all, our salvation never brought to fruition, promises made and time kept nearing the apocalypse but in actuality it has been a long time since our heavenly father brought anyone up to the heavenly skies in our presence, it is a mystery story, a poor one at that, our rising up after the worms have feasted, eaten away our bodies with no one having the common decency to give us some idea of our life after dying it appears that with the silent void we are to assume we die without god’s mercy or his caring hand exposing our human nature that assume themselves more important than his son and holy ghost, and he called us his human beings or maybe that is what we called ourselves after we crawled out of the swamp and high fived each other and said wow what a messy life that was, but we had no idea as to the startling corruption of our new lives, our new vices of flesh and money addiction, can I receive another hallelujah, besides where is this heaven this glorious garden, are we to assume it is not present here as we live and breath but we just can’t see the perfection of mother earth because of all the greed and destruction of our once paradise, and when we arrive at the doors of the big man’s house I guess we are supposed to party like it was 1999 again, abandoned by his holy ghost that is bull shit, now get out of my church you slugs of disgusting sin, but please dig deep in your forsaken pockets and get out that green stuff we love so much and give and give until your money is gone to this church of holy words that ultimately mean nothing in this silent void of truth becoming lies, inventions of humans to exploit each other for wealth, little hooks to get you to pay for the entertainment,”

Deuteronomy 34-35: “Is not this preserved in my treasury, sealed up in my storehouse, against the day of vengeance and requital, against the time they lose their footing? Close at hand is the day of their disaster, and their doom is rushing upon them!”

Don’t we all feel the ultimate collapse of our morals and ethics in our present day on this planet and find ourselves just mute sinners waiting for the end of days!

God looks on with pleasure at our sinful nature for he is waiting to condemn all sinners to the hell of his fiery sidekick of immoral behavior, the one and only the great fallen angel lucifer, can I get a high five and a hallelujah!

my children you can’t bend my inner mind to dismiss your callous sinning, please be with me in this never ending mystery of days passing without my true purpose, one of following the holy ghost that is in me accusing children of sins never committed but I am a sinner and will be punished as I punish you for your innocence, breath fouled with words false truths and I will rid you of this devil in you, praise our holiness for his angry insights into our egos seeing in us the mystery of satan’s work it will do no good to cry and plead for you know as I do the sinner must wander alone in spite of his truth, can I get a high five from the prince of darkness, the almighty has spoken to me of this truth, of my necessary evil deeds and heaven awaits those that will succumb to the dark void of spirits forceful fist and the strap of god’s love on your back, listen children don’t make me turn again into the enforcer of our father’s will his servant to redeem your failing souls to his almighty purpose, I will not accept any words defying the holy words of the bibles perfect absolute truth, I will have no words spoken questioning the bibles fruitless inspirations, or anger at our human condition, killing others for power, no excuses for not adhering to christ’s laws of steadfast kneeling before him on his cross humbled by his father’s cruel demands, the almighty spirit, a state carved with loving care in the church bought with your hard earned money and hard earned untruths spoken with authority and pleasure, the stained glass image of christ as a handsome white man raising his hands to give not the peace sign but wait is that his middle finger rising from the dead and I believe he is speaking to the congregation of fools on the hill lets listen in on our lords precious words, “ and to all you sitting in righteous jealously, praying to me and my father and of course my grouchy uncle the holy ghost is ludicrous, for you will never see a heaven above because your narrow minds are living in the heavenly earth I created for you, oh shut up and quit blaming adam and eve they were beautiful renters and their wonderful children, good kids and better parents and I can’t help that you were duped by the powers that crucified me and made you believe in an illusion of an after life when in fact this is it so you better fight for this planet before greed and criminal minds put the final knife in it and believe me you are very close to losing this earth through these charlatans of hateful propaganda, the obnoxious power of elites but I can tell you their truth they are not smart in understanding empathy or love for anyone for their focus is on themselves and the profit they can make off the suffering of the people that are slaves to their will, they believe they have god like powers, these charlatans of hate separating us to fight each other, they are the new wave of godless gods to rule this world for selfish power and profits on the backs of you the lowly sinners that don’t have a chance in hell to go to any heaven except the incinerator or back into mother earth, for you live in a savagery of brutal racism, the battering of morals, the barbarian thugs seeking an old god, money over men, women and children, through the centuries of waiting for a sign from me you fell over each other in the biggest con of any lifetime, for 20 centuries you have waited in hopeless agony to have me return and make everything beautiful for you instead of you making this planet not a place of suffering but a place of beauty and acceptance of all peoples as one united in intuitive self awareness.”

#earthly paradise #adan #eve #truth #satan #illusion #cjcorwinoriginal

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fableweaver · 5 years

Text

Arc of the Cursed Monk

Glen slumped in the saddle feeling dejected. They had been riding for two weeks through Regis and each day they drew closer to the city of the gods weighed on Glen’s spirit. He feared what would become of him, not just because of the events of Isra’s Night, but because of the price on his head. Elisha had made every effort to send word about Glen and make the Sect well aware of his sins. Not to mention Lambert reminded him every chance he got with a blow when Horace was not looking.

They had gotten an ill-tempered mule for Glen to ride, and a much-worn saddle that did little to cushion the boney back of the mule. His luck also continued, at times even getting worse as he fell into puddles and mud. He twisted his ankle in a gopher hole and still walked with a limp. Somehow, he also got food poisoning and was vomiting for two days of their travel. None of this was as bad as seeing Horace look down at him with that sneer of self-righteous disgust. It was a look Glen had long been familiar with, his entire family got that look any time Glen entered a room or was even mentioned. Glen could only look down at his feet feeling guilt, unable to meet Horace’s eyes.

Riding through Regis Glen wasn’t in much of a mood to sight see. He realized he and the twins had been wandering a bit when they had been on foot, not heading true east. He wasn’t surprised, they had been lost and following back roads they knew nothing of. Now he was riding back west towards Menfer.

They of course passed through other villages, gathering news and food as they went. The villages they passed through grew richer as they rode out of the borderlands and into the richer lands of Regis. The roads joined and along the south trade road only a day from Menfer they encountered another party of Holy Knights riding towards the city.

“Hail brothers!” Horace shouted as the two groups met at the crossroads.

“Hail!” the other captain shouted back. He wasn’t much older than Horace, a handsome Regarian lord. The two groups joined together and Glen rode behind Horace and the other captain.

“I’m Captain Horace.”

“Captain Patrice,” the other man said with a slight bow from the saddle. “Have you been summoned back for the war?”

“No, we had just finished our patrol,” Horace said surprised. “We encountered some trouble so I sent a message ahead. The only response I got was ‘Return quickly’. What war?”

“King Son Rue has been killed,” Patrice answered. “Feng Loe has claimed Lir. The High King is going to war with Lir to put his nephew on the throne there.”

“Sweet Lun,” Horace said shocked.

“What trouble did you encounter?” Patrice asked.

“It’s a long story,” Horace said sourly glancing back at Glen. Reluctantly he recounted the events of Isra’s Night and his relation to Glen. Patrice listened like any other knight, a blank stare of boredom. A knight wasn’t supposed to think, just follow orders.

“Leave it to the Sect when we arrive,” Patrice said when Horace finished. “You’ll get your marching orders soon enough.”

“Do you think we’ll be marching east then?” Horace said excited. War meant a store of fortune for the knights, a chance to make a name for themselves. Though Horace knew little about Glen, Glen knew a lot about Horace. Horace was the fourth son in their family and he had always wanted to gain a name for himself in the knights. He had always wanted to be a knight, even as a child he would wield a stick as a sword and fight mock battles.

“They’ll need every man,” Patrice said.

The other knights took this news well, many were excited. After all war was much more exciting than riding through the country side looking for Legionnaires. Glen could only dread tomorrow and the arrival to the City of the Gods.

The next day Menfer rose before them on the mountain like a star upon a hill. It was an intimidating sight, the great marble temples rising above them against the bright blue of Empyria. It was bitterly cold, so cold Empyria was a crisp clear blue that hurt the eyes. Sol’s lamp was weak, and Cael seemed stronger with a bite in the air heralding the coming winter. The two companies rode up to the village at the foot of the mountain to find other knights had gathered there.

The barracks looked to be full as several camps of tents had been set up around the village. Knights all over Regis must have been summoned to gather in Menfer and then to march east.

“Anthony,” Horace called his second in command. “Take the men and report to the barracks with Patrice. I need to go on to Menfer to report in.”

“Yes Sir,” Anthony answered with a salute. Patrice only nodded to Horace as he led his men and Horace’s company to report in at the barrack. That left Horace with Glen and the brooding silence of Lambert.

Horace didn’t look at either of them as he led the way up the switch back path up the mountain. It seemed like a long climb to Glen, but it was less than an hour when they reached Eos’ Gate. They dismounted and handed their horses, and Glen’s mule, over to a stable hand before Horace led the way to Cael’s tower. Since Glen was to face trial they went to the god of justice of course. Glen was glad; because he was sure Gervase would speak on his behalf.

They arrived to the tower and an acolyte scurried off to fetch a Sect for them as they waited in the central room of the tower. There were other Sects and acolytes lingering around and they were staring and whispering. At last two Sects of Cael arrived and bowed to them.

“Greetings,” one said, he was an older man with a distinguished look. Glen knew him; he was a Sect of Cael and of the Iron Order named Lazare. “Sect Lambert?”

“Yes?” Lambert said stepping forward.

“You will be heard first in the trial,” Lazare answered. “We are gathering the High Sects now.”

“How many of the High Sects will be judging?” Lambert asked.

“All the High Sects have been gathered,” Lazare answered.

Glen felt his knees go weak in terror and he barely heard Horace’s response to this.

“All?” Horace said horrified. “There has not been a trial with all the High Sects for fifty years! Surely this matter is not that serious!”

“We face hard times and the last time your brother faced trial we failed to determine the best method in dealing with him,” Lazare answered. “He represents the problems of the old superstations, and with the threat of this new cult we need to answer these whispers.”

Glen was going to be an example of those who had lost faith. He was sure to face a fate much worse than banishment.

“D-do I get an advocate?” Glen asked in a small voice.

“Your brother will be giving testimony so he cannot be your advocate,” Lazare answered. “Did you have someone else in mind?”

“Sect Gervase,” Glen answered. “He w-was my m-mentor.”

“Sect Gervase has taken over as the High Sect of Cael,” Lazare said, and Glen felt a mix of relief and fear. “I’ve brought Sect Jerome to be your advocate.”

The other Sect was a sour looking man in middle years. He looked at Glen bored and a little insulted. He probably thought this was an onerous duty and a lost cause.

“Come, the trial is being held in the amphitheater,” Lazare said.

Glen wasn’t surprised that the trial was being held in the amphitheater. They marched off led by Lazare to the amphitheater. Already a crowd had gathered in the stands and more were flooding in. In the central space two tables and chairs had been set up before the judges’ bench. None of the High Sects were here yet, the raised large desk empty. Knights stood ready for the trouble at the edge of the stands.

Jerome led him over to the defendant’s table and to Glen’s surprise Lazare took the side of the opposition. Horace joined Glen at his side, standing more like a guard than his brother. The noise of the crowd grew as more people arrived and soon the stands were full. At last the crowd fell silent as the High Sects arrived. They filed in and sat at the bench, Glen feeling the power of their gaze on him.

There were ten High Sects in all for each of the gods, except the gods of the winds they had only one High Sect. Glen saw Gervase looking grim sitting for Cael. Sect Isaure, the High Sect of Iris, looked as pleased as a toad in the rain to see Glen here. Sect Bernard his cousin and the High Sect of Sol looked ready to kill him. Sect Jillet, High Sect of Lun, looked serine and as cold as her goddess.

Sect Katell, the High Sect of Euria, looked on with interest as she was the youngest of the Sects here. Sect Tristan, the High Sect of Tempest, looked as stormy as his god, his gray brows drawn together in displeasure. Sect Brice, High Sect of Eos, was an old man and he appeared to be falling asleep. Sect Bernice, High Sect of Eha and Brice’s sister, was just as old and just as close to falling asleep. Sect Francis, High Sect of the Winds, looked nervous and worried. Sect Daphne, the High Sect of Isra, looked grim, her old face boney and skin tight making her head look much like a skull.

Gervase sat center of the meeting, as the High Sect of Cael he would rule over this trial. He looked around grimly until complete silence fell before he spoke.

“We have gathered here for a very grave matter. In these times our faith is threatened so we must address this matter before it gets out of hand. Will the accused please step forward?”

Glen nervously rose to his feet, nearly knocking his chair over. He stepped forward and stood in full glare of the High Sects.

“Glen De Modeste,” Gervase said gravely. “You stand accused of witchcraft, how do you plead?”

Glen looked around at the grim faces of the Sect and then onto the excited faces of the audience. He looked back at Lambert, seeing the cleric glaring at him. Then he saw Horace looking worried and disappointed. He turned back and met Gervase’s gaze, the High Sect looked sad beyond all reason.

“G-guilty,” Glen said looking down at his feet. The crowd erupted in an uproar of surprise and confusion. The knights had to bang on their breastplates until order was returned.

“Does this mean there will be no trial?” Someone shouted from the crowd.

“Enough!” Gervase said loudly. “This is not a show for your amusement. There is no need for a trial if the accused pleads guilty. We have evidence from not only Sect Lambert, but a report from Grand Sect Elisha.”

“Wait High Sect!” Horace said stepping forward. “My brother is mad, clearly since he is confessing to witchcraft.”

“Sir Horace your testimony is not needed,” Bernard said coldly. “He has freely confessed, the sentence for witchcraft is death by burning.”

“Not always High Sect Bernard,” Gervase said mildly, looking relieved. “The mad can be touched by the gods. We cannot burn him if he is mad. Go on Sir Horace.”

“My brother has always been odd,” Horace said encouraged by Gervase. “He always seems like he is seeing things that aren’t there. And he spoke of creatures that live in sunbeams and leaves. He can’t be in his right mind.”

“You cannot take this testimony seriously!” Bernard growled. “He is his brother; he will say anything to save his brother.”

“I disagree,” Sect Jillet said coolly. “I still believe the gods have plans for this boy, perhaps it is because he has been touched by them. Perhaps he really is mad.”

“I over saw the lad myself, I believe he is mad,” Gervase said. “Sect Isaure, you had dealt with Glen as well. What do you think?”

Glen looked to the High Sect of Iris afraid and hopeful. Despite his confession he hoped that his life would be spared with this ploy. Isaure glared down at him and Glen knew she had little reason to vouch for him. But this had to be why Gervase had called on her, if she who hated him agreed he was mad she had to be speaking the truth.

“He has always been troublesome,” Isaure said displeased. “But I have to admit I think the lad is not in his right mind.”

“This is ridiculous!” Bernard shouted. “You are over stepping your power Gervase! You are just using this as a means to save this boy's life.”

“High Sect Bernard,” Sect Daphne’s voice was like ice as she cut across Bernard's objections like a cold knife through flesh. “I sincerely hope you do not suggest that the word of three of the High Sects would ever come in doubt. I can understand you doubting one, but three is another matter entirely.”

“No High Sect Daphne,” Bernard said like a chastised school boy. He was the second youngest of the High Sects after all, even if he wasn't the newest age seemed to win over years in service. “I simply desire more information; this is a very serious matter after all in this charged climate.”

“I have no doubt more witnesses could be called but do we really wish to drag this out?” Sect Katell asked.

“I believe killing the lad will only make him a martyr for those who are challenging our faith,” Sect Francis said. “A death of one of the Legion's witches will only make them more zealous.”

“My brother is not a member of the Legion,” Horace said insulted. “He fought against them and killed some in the village.”

“He killed them with witchcraft,” Lambert argued. “Even if he is not with them does not mean he is not evil.”

“Enough,” Gervase said, as murmurs began to rise again. “Whether he is a member of the Legion is not an issue. Even if he is, he has confessed to witchcraft all the same and at the same time has been found mad so cannot be killed.”

“You make a strange argument Gervase,” Bernard sneered. “What is he? Blessed by the gods and mad? Or a witch of the Legion?”

“He can be both,” Sect Bernice said in a cracked voice. “The gods may have chosen him exactly because he is a witch. They may have need of one whose power is not of their own.”

“I believe it is time we call a vote,” Gervase said before Bernard could argue further. “Those that believe Glen De Modeste is mad and therefore shall be banished to live upon the Lady of the Rock?”

Only Bernard did not raise his hand and Glen nearly fell to the ground in relief and at the same time fear. It was not what he had in mind, but it was far better than being burned alive. Then Glen remembered why he had wanted to come here, he needed to warn the Sect about the Crippled One that was in the guise of Kal Ba'el. He opened his mouth to begin his warning when Horace thumped him on the back in a good-natured salute.

“Well it isn't the best place you could get but it far better than a pyre,” Horace said looking relieved. Glen knew that the only reason Horace was relieved was because his sense of honor was now satisfied. He had stood up for his brother but hadn't soiled his name. And now that Glen had been declared mad his family might be able to save face from his past or future mistakes.

“Horace, the Phay,” Glen whispered. “W-we need to tell the Sect...”

He was cut off as Horace stepped on his toes.

“Glen you barely got out of this mess by the skin of your nose,” Horace said in a harsh whisper. “Don't make any more trouble for our family.”

Glen nodded, tears in his eyes both from his brother's foot on his toes and from his brother's lack of faith in him. Before more could be said they were surrounded by the holy knights. They pulled Glen back and chained his hands behind his back.

“Horace!” Glen said worried.

“Relax Glen,” Horace said. “They’re going to take you to Colette’s Rock.”

“B-but…”

“This is goodbye for now Glen,” Horace said. “I’ll probably be sent off to the east for the war. Good luck Glen, and may the gods bless you.”

Glen couldn’t say more, and the knights pulled him away. Glen looked for Gervase, but the High Sects had started to leave as well. Gervase wouldn’t risk seeing Glen off though; it threatened his image of impartiality. So the holy knights led him off, five heavily armed men two of which were holding his arms.

Glen didn’t pay much attention to where they were taking him; he was too depressed over his fate. He knew he should be just glad he was alive, but the Lady of the Rock was no place anyone would be happy to go to.

The knights took him down to the village and to the docks, two going off to hire a boat. Glen stared at the river seeing little Undines swimming and chasing each other in eddies and currents. They seemed like animals in their carefree attitude except they showed no fear of people. Of course, they had no fear of humans, they couldn’t even see them. For a moment Glen wondered if the undines could help him, but he realized he had no idea how to command them. Even if he could the other three knights stood around him alert.

The two knights returned and led them over to a ship at port. It was a Hyrian vessel of course, a low cruiser with one mast and triangle sail. The sailors were all Hyrian as well, the captain a wiry fellow with a nasty scar along one corner of his mouth that made him look like he was grinning.

“Evening gents,” the captain said with a jaunty salute. “We’ll get ya along real quick like ja. Lady o the Rock was it?”

“Yes captain,” one of Glen’s knights said. “How long will it take?”

“Oh, bout two shakes and a leap,” the captain said, but when the knight glared at him with his hand on his sword the captain answered seriously. “Be there by tomorrow morning ja.”

“Good,” the knight answered gruffly. “Let’s not waste time.”

The captain nodded but Glen noted he was glaring now at the knights. The knights ignored him as they led Glen to the gunwale and waited as the ship set off in a flurry of activity of the sailors. Glen slid down suddenly exhausted. He slept most of the journey over Windfall Bay, getting only a little bread and water for dinner.

The next morning, he woke to the sound of waves and gulls crying out. He sat up and looked out to see Colette’s Rock before them. It was a desolate place, if Colette had seen it before she had shipwrecked on it she would have despaired. It was nothing but bare dark gray rock, the only color the splashing of bird droppings from the sea birds that roosted there. It was aptly named a rock because it was barely big enough to house the horrid looking building that squatted in the center of the isle.

Carved out of the rock itself the monastery was nothing but imposing dark walls. Glen could see little of the structure itself other than a rough shape since little thought had gone to the outside of it. He could tell though that it probably had a lot of tunnels going through the rock of the island as he could see many rough windows and doors carven into the rock. A stone jetty jutted out of the isle in the lee of the current and the Hyrian sailors easily guided their vessel up to the dock.

They started to tie off the vessel and lay out the gang plank, the knights gathering around Glen once more. They guided him out onto the stone dock, pushing him along to the great gate at the end. He didn’t know why they were being so rough, he wasn’t going anywhere. They crossed under the gate into a stone courtyard where a man dressed in a rough brown smock was sweeping the cobble stones.

“Sect!” One of the knights hailed him but the man continued sweeping. His head was lolling up and down, and Glen realized he was muttering to himself. At the knight’s shout however, another man came out of one of the doors from the monastery.

This man was also dressed in the modest smock, but he had an aureola wrapped around his left wrist. He walked up to them on a pair of very used sandals and bowed.

“Greetings great Sir Knights,” the man said sounding a bit out of breath. He was Elmerian, his mouth wide as he smiled at them to show two rows of very crooked teeth. “I am Sect Lewis; how may I help you?”

“We’re here to drop off this boy here,” the lead knight answered. “The High Sects have deemed him mad.”

“I see, well he’ll be welcome here,” Lewis answered happily. “I hope not too mad though, I’m the only one who is sane here after all. I’d like some good conversation.”

“Don’t get too close to him Sect,” the knight warned. “He is also a confessed witch. He is to remain here for the rest of his days.”

“Yes of course as are all of us,” Lewis answered nodded. “Thank you for bringing him.”

The knight glared at him, Lewis didn’t seem all that sane himself. But then again who would be who spent all his time with the mad? One of the knights undid the manacles and Glen rubbed his wrists relieved.

“Guard him well Sect,” the knight said before he turned on his heel and left. The knights marched out quickly and Glen saw the ship set sail once more.

“Come along now,” Lewis said happily. “What is your name?”

“Glen De Modeste.”

“Nice to meet you Glen,” Lewis said happily. “Come, I’ll give you the tour.”

Lewis was very chatty as he walked with Glen through the monastery, giving him the penny tour as he laughingly said. The monastery wasn’t very big; there were about thirty cells and three larger chambers. One was the kitchen, one the dining hall, and the last a temple with thirteen alters for all the gods. There was a small antechamber for baths, which were only in cold water. The toilets were latrines which at least only smelled of sea water. There was a small garden but most of their food was delivered once a month by ship.

There were only twenty-six inhabitants of the monastery including Sect Lewis. He was the only cleric; the rest were all mad men that had been sent here for their own good. Three of them were women, two old women and one woman in her middling years. The level of madness seemed to vary greatly. Some were screaming lunatics, literally; they were locked in their cells and fed through the door.

Others seemed to just suffer the mental break down that happens with age. The youngest of the women, Daft Doris as Lewis called her, talked to herself and seemed unaware of anything else. There was a man, Barking Bert, who was gnawing on a bone and barking like a dog. Another man had his arms tied up around himself as he rocked back and forth, Lewis called him Count Tomin. He was actually a count, he had gone mad and his family sent him here to live out his life.

“I take care of everyone here,” Lewis said with pride. “So, don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.”

“T-thank you,” Glen said feeling guilty. “B-but I’m not r-really m-mad. I just b-believe in the Phay. I had to s-say I was m-mad or I w-would have b-been b-burned.”

“Good, I could use the company then,” Lewis said happily.

“You d-don’t mind that I’m a w-witch,” Glen said surprised.

“No, I’m sure you’re a very nice witch,” Lewis said as he patted him on the back. Glen realized then that Lewis thought he was delusional, but he was being so kind that Glen didn’t really care. “Let’s get you a smock so you’ll fit in. Then I’ll show you your room.”

He gave Glen a rough brown smock and showed him the small cell that was to be his room. The cell was so small it only had room for a straw stuffed mattress in a frame and a small table with a basin of water. There was a window with a shutter, but no glass so Glen kept it shuttered.

“Supper is at sun down,” Lewis said. “We’ll be having cabbage soup and beans.”

“T-thank you,” Glen said.

“You’re welcome, bring me your robes when you change, I’ll put them in storage with the rest,” Lewis said. “The others came with their own things as well, which I’ve kept in chests.”

“I will but I’d like to keep my aureola,” Glen said. He still had the aureola Gervase had given him all that time ago and he wanted to keep it.

“Of course,” Lewis said with a smile. “Faith is encouraged here.”

“T-thank you,” Glen said. Lewis left him to change and Glen gave him his robes. By then it was time for supper so Glen helped Lewis serve food to the inhabitants of the island. Lewis delivered the meals to those locked in their cells. The food was plain, but hearty and Glen ate gladly. After dinner there wasn’t much to do other than washing up and helping the mad to their beds.

Exhausted Glen curled up on his own cot under the rough wool blanket. Just as he started to drift off to sleep he heard something that made him sit up in bed.

“Charge to the bells and march to the drums,

“We’re off to war cause the battle comes.”

The song echoed through the stone halls of the monastery in an eerie haunting melody. Glen sat listening to the song, realizing several people were singing it. As he listened Glen realized what the song had to be, the march of the Phay. Bailey had said their grandmother, the other one, had died singing the song. The dead singing the song was a sign of the march, and so it seemed the mad sang it as well.

Glen lay back and listened to the song end, feeling a sense of fear and foreboding. He got little sleep that night and rose as soon as Sol did. He hurried up and down to the kitchen where Lewis was already preparing breakfast.

“Ah good morning Glen,” Lewis said with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“N-no, what w-was that s-singing?” Glen asked.

“Oh that?” Lewis said with a laugh. “It started recently; a few of the mad sing that song at night. I don’t know why, but I’ve gotten used to it. I rather like it as well.”

“D-do you know w-who sings it?” Glen asked.

“Fisk started singing first, the others picked it up after him,” Lewis answered.

“Fisk?” Glen asked.

“He’s one of the men locked away in his room,” Lewis answered. “He’s been howling mad for years, actually he’s been here longer than I have. I don’t think he’s ever left his room.”

Glen suppressed a shiver at the idea of being locked in such a small room for so long. He also quickly gave up the idea of questioning any of the inhabitants of the monastery about the song. He doubted they could answer him, and he didn’t like the idea of talking to a man who was described as ‘howling mad’.

He helped Lewis bring the porridge out and then go and gather any of the wayward wards. Soon Glen’s days were occupied with helping Lewis care for the mad. He did it because he felt sorry for Lewis who seemed very grateful for the company. Some of the people here had their lucid moments, but those could be misleading Glen learned; most of the time they never remembered those lucid moments, especially when they slipped back into their madness.

Glen knew not all mad people were completely useless; he had met a few mentally challenged people in his life time. But these of the monastery were the worst cases, those that could not function in society at all and so had to be exiled for their own good. Not all were so lucky to be sent here even, Glen knew for some they were simply killed because it was easier.

As the days turned to weeks Glen realized there would be little chance of escape. There was no wood on the whole island, nothing but sea rock and sea birds. He had no chance of making a raft to get to shore, and they were too far out for him to try swimming even if he could. Yet Glen felt the need to leave, he had been brought to this island to learn the song and he had. Now he needed to leave and search for the song, he knew that he could find it now that he had heard it.

So, Glen was trapped on the island with little to do but help Lewis in his tasks. Lun’s Day came and went with little celebration or feasting much to Glen’s disappointment. The weather out on the rock was terrible, constant moaning wind and cold rains and snow. Glen spent most of his time indoors given the terrible turn in the weather. It was just after Lun’s day, the first of the winter month of Hiber that a ship arrived.

“That’s strange,” Lewis said as he looked out at the ship approaching. “The supply ship doesn’t arrive for another few days.”

Glen felt both hope and fear as he followed Lewis down to the courtyard just as the ship docked. Several men disembarked the ship; all were dressed in the robes of the Sect. As they approached Glen recognized the two men in the lead. One was his cousin Bernard, and the other was Sect Elisha. Glen’s knees went weak and he couldn’t move as the two walked up looking grim.

“High Sect Bernard!” Lewis said amazed as he quickly bowed. “It is an honor sir you have come to visit.”

“I’m not here to visit Lewis,” Bernard said with distain. “I’m here to see the High Sect’s will set out.”

“Will?” Lewis said looking confused.

“After hearing Grand Sect Elisha’s testimony, the High Sects have decided that the acolyte Glen is too dangerous to let wander with a free tongue,” Bernard said. “We have decided that he should be silenced.”

“Silenced?” Lewis parroted confused looking from Bernard to Elisha to Glen.

“Don’t worry, I’ve brought the necessary tools,” Elisha said waving to a couple of acolytes behind him. One carried a brazier and the other a chest. “We just need the use of your temple.”

“I…” Lewis looked scared, but Elisha motioned to the knights he had brought as well. The two men moved forward and grabbed Glen by both arms. Startled and scared Glen struggled, but he was too afraid to even shout or put up much of a fight. They dragged him into the temple and there was a flurry of movement as acolytes hurried to set up a stool. The knights stripped him of his smock and put him on the stool, tying his arms behind him and his legs to the rungs of the stool.

Glen looked up afraid to see the brazier had been lit and iron instruments set over the coals to heat. Lewis stood back by the door looking scared. Bernard stood by the altar of Sol, one hand resting on the altar. Elisha was sharpening a knife as the acolytes and knights stood back.

“So, you thought you got away from me didn’t you,” Elisha said to the sound of his knife against a wet stone. “You thought you could hide, but you foolishly returned to Menfer. I knew I would find you eventually.”

“P-please,” Glen said shivering, his teeth chattering. The temple was cold; it didn’t share the heat of the chimney that heated the kitchen or dining hall. Naked he was already shivering, but not just from the cold.

“No begging,” Elisha said. “Not yet at least. I want you to tell me where the other witches are. And believe me you will tell.”

He turned away to pick up one of the irons from the fire. The iron was only slightly heated, smoking and glowing a dull red. It was shaped in Lun’s crescent and Elisha pressed it into Glen’s knee. He screamed in pain, though it wasn’t red hot it was hot enough to cause a burning pain. Elisha removed it after a minute going to fetch another brand, this one in Sol’s sun burst.

He didn’t speak as he branded Glen and the smell of burning flesh filled the temple. Glen lost all awareness of those in the temple; he only could feel the pain of the burns. Sometimes he passed out and was woken by a drench of icy sea water, the salt stinging his burns. He slumped on the stool, his skin crying out in pain, and felt Elisha lean next to him.

“Where are the witches?” Elisha whispered. Glen could feel the heat of another brand near his stomach; he could see the light of it in the corner of his eye.

“I don’t know,” Glen whispered. He only whimpered as Elisha pressed the iron into his skin, unable to muster the energy for more.

“Sect Elisha I think that is enough,” Bernard said. “He said he doesn’t know where they are. You only asked him one question.”

“I’ve only just begun Sect Bernard,” Elisha answered. “I have much more to do.”

“He is still my cousin Elisha,” Bernard said. “I know him well enough that if he knew the whereabouts of these witches he would have told you the moment you asked torture or no. Let’s do what we came to do and be done with it.”

“You have no sense of imagination Sect Bernard,” Elisha said. “This boy is a witch; he has far more strength at lying than you think. Go and rest, I’ll make sure he tells me everything.”

“No,” Bernard said and Glen looked at him. He was frowning and despite this torture Glen knew his cousin was trying to show mercy towards him. “I will not let you kill him. Cut out his tongue and be done with it or I will.”

“Very well,” Elisha said after a moment of staring Bernard down. Bernard out ranked him as the High Sect, despite being younger than him.

“W-wait,” Glen said afraid as Elisha turned to get a pair of plyers and his dagger. “Bernard, the Phay you n-need to know about t-them. The m-mad sing the s-song.”

“Blasphemy!” Elisha shouted angrily. “I will make sure you don’t speak anymore lies.”

Glen recoiled in horror, but he could not break free. Elisha stepped forward and shoved the plyers into Glen’s mouth nearly breaking his teeth. The iron was rusty, and Glen could taste it like blood in his mouth. The plyers gripped his tongue and Elisha pulled it out as far as he could. Then he held up the dagger and shoved it into Glen’s mouth like he wanted to scoop Glen’s tongue out like an oyster from its shell. Glen screamed in pain as the knife sliced into his tongue. He nearly choked on the flood of blood down his throat, and the pain blinded him.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Elisha said. “I cannot risk even a peep of sound coming out of your blasphemous mouth.”

He turned back to his brazier and set one of the buckets of water over it. While that was heating he prepared a needle and thread. The water boiled and Elisha took a ladle of the boiling water over to Glen. He was too weak to even close his mouth; Elisha just tipped his head back and poured the boiling water down his throat. Glen coughed and spat it up, the water searing his throat. Elisha poured two more ladles of water down his throat until Glen was vomiting blood.

“All washed out now,” Elisha said grinning. “Now let’s sew that wound up.”

Glen couldn’t even moan anymore; no sound came out of his ruined throat. Elisha took up the needle and thread and closed Glen’s mouth. Glen could barely even feel the needle as Elisha sewed his mouth shut. He made the stiches tight and close together and by the time he was done Glen couldn’t even open his mouth.

“Now try speaking of the Phay,” Elisha said with distain.

“Your work is done Elisha,” Bernard said sounding like he might be sick. “He has been silenced, you can go now.”

Elisha glared at Bernard one more time, but he complied. He and his acolytes cleaned up the torture instruments and they left with the knights. Bernard came over and untied Glen from the stool, gently helping him down to the floor. Glen looked up at his cousin, seeing guilt on his face before he slipped off into darkness. After that he was no longer sure what was waking or nightmare. He felt fevered and in pain, his mouth aching and burns searing his entire body.

Occasionally Glen felt a kind touch as someone tended to his burns or fed him. Since his mouth remained sewed shut Lewis fed him with a hose down his nose into his throat, water and porridge poured into him. Lewis tended to him kindly, having been left with the duty. He was kind and gentle, but Glen knew there was little he could do.

His fever grew worse and at last Glen felt his spirit lift free of his body. He wasn’t dead, not yet, but he could tell by how easily his spirit left that he soon would be. He walked the lines lost, seeking something he didn’t know; maybe Fors wheel or maybe Tir Aesclinn. He felt a tug like a string drew him along, and he followed the sensation to water.

A great river lay before him, so still and wide it was almost a lake. Before him stood a tower made of mismatched stones cut and fit together without mortar. Glen walked through the water to the tower and began to climb to the single window he could see. He pulled himself up into the room beyond. The space had no ceiling but pillars carven into the form of hawthorn trees. The floor was covered by a tangle of colorful threads of every color imagined, and even some that had not been.

In the middle of this tangle sat a woman. Her back was to him, her long silvery platinum hair tangled with the threads. She bent over something in the middle of the floor, her fingers furiously working to knot the threads around her together. If this was supposed to weave into a tapestry or even a picture, Glen couldn’t see it. To him all the threads just looked like one giant bird’s nest.

“Arke?” Glen said hesitantly. She did not turn, but her fingers paused over her threads. Glen noticed her touch one thread she had knotted around her little finger, a deep purple thread.

“Lailoken,” she said softly.

“My name is Glen now,” Glen said, unsure how to feel about being called by a dead man’s name.

“Yes of course, Glen,” Arke said pleased and Glen too felt warmth flow through him to hear his name from her lips. Hesitantly he walked through the tangle of threads to sit by her side. He looked down at what she looked at to see a well of clear still water that seemed almost like a mirror. The stone of the rim of the well was carven intricately of salmon feeding on acorns. He dared not look into the mirror, nor turn to look at Arke, so he stared at the fish instead.

“I tried to spare you the pain,” Arke said. “I foresaw your torture, but I could not tell when it would take place. Looking into the future can be hard, sometimes things change or I cannot tell when it will happen. I tried to get you away from the city of the gods.”

“By causing bad luck,” Glen said and Arke nodded.

“It worked did it not?” Arke said. “Only you returned. I could not get you away, after the death of one of my chosen my power waned.”

“Death?” Glen said. “You mean Taras?”

“Yes, he was meant to be a guide and guardian for you and the Witch Twins,” Arke said. “He knew the ways of the world well. Another’s thread was cut from me, the Deadman Reaper.”

Glen looked at her hands and saw more threads tied along her fingers.

“Who are your chosen?” Glen asked.

“You, the Cursed Monk,” Arke said touching the purple thread. “There are the Witch Twins, the Blind Warrior, the Dwarven Warden, the Masked Queen, the Bastard Mage, the Little Saint, the Dragon Keeper, the Noble Vagabond, and the Painted Lord.”

“Why these people?” Glen asked. “I know why you chose me, but why Bailey and Pepper? Why Ian? Why these others?”

“One, the Bastard Mage, is Eileen reborn,” Arke answered. “The others I could see they could aid in the march. They are those of power or of some skill, so I chose them and with my threads have tried to guide them with luck. Or I watch them to see what they had learned in the search for the song.”

“Who is the Bastard Mage?” Glen asked excited.

“He will find you,” Arke said. “There is no need to tell you, the song is more important. The Blind Warrior has discovered more to the path of the song. After it was stolen by Hyrian pirates from the Weill clan in Daun it came into possession of a pirate known as Tony Bones.”

“I know his story,” Glen said. “He hung for his crimes.”

“He had given the song to his lover,” Arke said, “A Rhodin woman named Sapphira. When she died she passed the song on to one of her children. A Rhodin legend then tells us that the song surfaced again during the plague times in a town called Bellerose. One man called the Piper led the dead of the plague to a hill where they all died.

“The Blind Warrior went to the hill and dreamed there to find that a hundred years later a Regarian lord by the name of Bellamy broke into the hill to study what happened there. He found the song and took it, before traveling to Versae to go to school there.”

“Then the Aldan have it again!” Glen said excited. Bailey and Pepper were headed to Alda last he heard, they would find the song.

“The song does not reside in Alda,” Arke said as if reading his mind. “The Painted Lord does not know of its whereabouts and the Witch Twins have also arrived in Alda and found nothing. You must go to Versae, now Cair Leon, and pick up the trail once more.”

“How?” Glen asked miserably.

“Just as I could turn your luck against you I can make it work for you,” Arke said kindly taking his hand. Glen looked at her, but she still gazed into her mirror. Her face was sweetheart in shape, her nose small but joined her brow in one unbroken line. The whites of her eyes were like opals full of fragmented rainbows, the cornea deep indigo and the pupils a deeper shade of indigo. Even her eyelashes were pale blonde nearly white.

“Even luck will not heal me,” Glen said gazing at her. “I am dying.”

“Do not underestimate my power,” Arke said with a slight smile. “You will see. You must go and return to your body.”

“No,” Glen said too reluctant to leave her. “I do not want to go back to the pain.”

“You must,” Arke said squeezing his hand. “I know you can do it Glen.”

“Won’t you at least look at me?” Glen begged reaching out to stroke her cheek.

“I cannot look away from the mirror,” Arke said regretfully. “It is part of my oath to this place. If I look away I will die. But…”

She closed her eyes, her long lashes casting a shadow over her cheeks. She leaned forward and kissed Glen, her lips soft against his own. He responded, closing his own eyes to lose himself in the press of her lips against his own. They parted Glen feeling his heart racing with life.

“I have given you the power to return and heal,” Arke said, her eyes still closed. Glen looked at her and wished he could look into her eyes and feel the full power of her gaze. Somehow, he knew he would melt under her gaze. “You must go,” Arke whispered sounding reluctant as well.

He took her into his arms, feeling her thin shoulders against his chest.

“I will return,” Glen whispered to her. “And free you from this place.”

She only nodded and he let her go to stand up. As soon as he turned away the world around him blurred and changed. For a moment he was falling and then he jerked awake. He lay on his cot once again feeling the gentle touch of someone washing his burns. Only this time the touch of the cool cloth felt much better, a soothing touch that erased all pain. Glen hesitantly opened his eyes to see not Lewis tending him but Gervase. He sat on a stool next to his cot and was gently dabbing Glen’s burns with a cool wet cloth.

“Winter’s Tear,” Gervase said softly. Glen turned his head to see Gervase had a bowl of water in his lap, white bell-shaped flowers floating in the water. He dipped the cloth in and went back to dab Glen’s burns. At the touch of the water Glen felt soothing relief, the scar didn’t disappear but the pain did. “It truly is a cure all, even healing your wounds.”

Glen sighed with relief of the pain, knowing this was Arke’s work. Not only that but it was Elder Magic that was healing him; he could feel the power from the Winter Tear’s flower in the water. He nearly fell asleep again but struggled to stay awake as Gervase finished washing his burns.

“We need to get those stiches off,” Gervase said as he took out a shears. Carefully he cut and pulled out the stiches on Glen’s mouth. The pain woke him and Glen winced, but he couldn’t make a single sound from his throat. Once the stiches were gone Gervase washed the wound around his mouth. Then he opened Glen’s mouth and Glen saw the look of horror on his face. He sighed and lifted the bowl up. Lifting Glen up he helped him take a sip of water.

“Wash out your mouth and spit in this,” Gervase said holding out his cloth. Glen swirled the water in his mouth, feeling the empty space where his tongue had been. He turned his head and let the water dribble out. He saw the water had turned blackish green with puss. Gervase helped him rinse his mouth out until the water was clean. Gervase helped Glen drink the rest of the water including the flowers in the water. Glen lay back feeling glowing warmth of healing and Elder Magic flow through him.

“How are you?” Gervase asked. Glen opened his mouth and tried to make a sound, but nothing came out. “Are you feeling better?” Gervase asked and Glen nodded. “Good.”

“High Sect Gervase,” Lewis said, and Glen turned to see him standing in the doorway. “Is he healed?”

“He is better, but there is no guarantee,” Gervase answered. “Have you got the robes?”

“Yes, High Sect,” Lewis said. “Mabel won’t be missing them.”

Glen saw he had a set of white robes draped over one arm. Mabel was one of the tenants here, Mad Mabel as Lewis called her. She was the oldest of the women and Glen seemed to remember she had been a Sect of Iris.

“Good, go and see if the ship is ready as I help Glen get dressed,” Gervase said.

“Are you sure High Sect?” Lewis asked worried. “Shouldn’t we give Glen time to heal? He’ll be safe here I swear.”

“You may swear to all the gods Lewis, but you cannot protect him when Elisha comes back for him,” Gervase said gravely. “The only reason Elisha did not kill him when he was here was because Bernard was watching over him. He will return and you do not have the power or authority to stop him.”

Lewis looked down at his feet guiltily, but Glen didn’t blame him for his torture. Glen opened his mouth to say so, but no sound came out.

“I will go check the boat,” Lewis said not noticing Glen’s attempt at comfort. He handed over the robes and left as if afraid of facing his guilt. Gervase took the robes and helped Glen up, Glen surprised to find his head was clear and steady. The Winter’s Tear seemed to have helped, or Arke’s power was reaching out to him. He dressed Glen in the robes, which were made of the finest Lirian silk. They were recently clean, cut in a style that had gone out of fashion fifty years ago. The silk was white but had a shimmer of rainbow opalescence to it and the finest lace with pearls sewn along the hems.

It was the finest garment Glen had ever worn and it was meant for a woman. They were the robes of a priestess of Iris, a full veil included with them. Only virgin women who had dedicated their lives to Iris could wear those robes, and there were few women who kept those vows.

“These robes will keep you safe and hidden,” Gervase said. “No one will even touch you as you know it is forbidden to touch a priestess of Iris.”

Glen could only nod in answer; he couldn’t express his gratitude or objections to being dressed as a woman. Gervase helped him pull the veil over his head and face and Glen decided he looked the part. He was tall but painfully thin so seemed like a very willowy woman. Even if the veil was pulled from his face he was still too young to grow a beard and his face was slightly feminine. Glen remembered Bailey saying he looked a lot like their grandmother, meaning he had fairly feminine features.

Despite feeling better Glen still had to lean heavily on Gervase as he guided him out of his small cell and through the narrow halls of the monastery. They came out of the monastery into the courtyard to find a thick layer of snow had fallen in the night. Lewis had shoveled a path through the courtyard, but the stones were still slick with ice.

Out on the dock the wind blew with a bitter bite and cold spray from the sea. Glen was so focused on putting one foot in front of the other he didn’t notice the person standing at the end of the dock until they got there. Wrapped in an oiled cloak and wearing only mail and a leather jerkin Horace looked grim as he looked at Glen. Glen was surprised and relieved to see his brother, but he was scared by the way Horace was glaring at him.

“Are you alright Glen?” Horace asked. “I heard about Elisha…”

“He can’t answer you Sir Horace,” Gervase said sadly. “Elisha cut out his tongue.”

The look of horror on Horace’s face made Glen reconsider his brother’s feelings for him. Horace hesitated a moment before he stepped forward and embraced Glen, gentle as if afraid he would break him. Glen returned the embrace, leaning into his brother’s arms for support of both natures.

“I bet you’re wondering how I got here,” Horace said when they parted, one arm still holding Glen up. “Why I’m not at war.”

Glen nodded, Horace stood so Glen was protected from the worst of the wind. While the robes of Iris were beautiful they did not provide much protection. Horace looked at him sadly, a bit of guilt in his gaze.

“I went home to tell our family about your fate before I was to be sent off to the east,” Horace said. “Father was glad that you were declared mad, mother even called for a celebration. Somehow seeing everyone so happy about it…”

“Your brother came back to Menfer and sought me out,” Gervase said. “But Elisha had arrived a few days before him and had just left for the island. It was good your brother returned when he did because I needed someone to get you off the island. I made a lot of bribes, but it is now believed that Horace is still headed east. I have papers and travel expenses for you. You are a priestess of Iris, the Lady Gwen of Tairgare, traveling to the monastery in Torington. I have a country estate in Torington, Horace will take you there and you can heal and be safe from Elisha.”

Glen nodded as Gervase handed Horace the packet of papers and string of coins.

“Now remember, you are Sir Horace of Tairgare, escorting the Lady Gwen south to the Monastery in Torington,” Gervase said to Horace. “She is your cousin giving you familial protection over her. She has taken vows of silence and of course chastity so no one may touch her or even speak to her but you. Since you are her only family you are the only one who can take her south. Understand?”

“Yes, Sect Gervase,” Horace said as he nodded.

“Good,” Gervase said before turning to Glen. He looked at him sadly, yet a smile came to his face. “Once again I am seeing you off Glen. This time I am sure it is to a safer place. I want you to know though that you are a very brave young man, and no one like you deserved to endure what you have.”

Glen could only nod and felt tears falling to be swept away by the sea winds.

“Now you both should get going,” Gervase said looking over at the skiff that was tied up next to the dock. An old Hyrian man sat in the skiff, an old fisherman telling by the looks of him. The skiff was small, and Glen felt none too comfortable to be going out into the bay, the weather dark and windy. He looked back up onto the dock, but Gervase was already turning away back to his own ship which was a larger vessel. Horace helped the fisherman set the skiff off and they left the Lady of the Rock behind. Glen watched the island sink away in the waves, his own heart as heavy as the rock that he left behind.

#fantasy #series #writing #please read #fairies #dragons

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ladyloveandjustice · 7 years

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The Great Ace Attorney Replay: Trials and Tribulations, Case 5, Part 5

I’m going to examine this garden gate as Phoenix specifically to get this dialogue.

Phoenix: “Edgeworth’s probably in the garden, crying softly to himself…I guess we should hug it out and talk about what he’s uncovered’

I’m never getting over this like. Phoenix specifically imagining Miles “crying softly” and anticipating hugging. “I’M HERE TO HEAL UR PAIN EDGEWORTH”. Phoenix take it back a notch.

In we go to say hi to Miles who is still berating himself for passing out and Phoenix is like “oh my GOD why is it still bothering him” I FEEL YOU PHEEN.

THEN MILES SEES HIM AND…literally runs away OH MY GOD MILES

Phoenix: “DON’T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME!!!”

Miles: “WHAT ARE YOU HERE TO LAUGH AT ME? GO AHEAD! LAUGH!”

Oh god…I never noticed it the first time around but it’s literally a repeat of the scene between them when Phoenix came into defend Miles at the detention center. That’s beautiful. THE MORE THINGS CHANGE, THE MORE THEY STAY THE SAME. Miles is still a disaster. I wonder if this still happens even in their 30s. I bet it does. Not just over earthquakes and going to jail. This is what happens when Miles tries to make an awesome banquet for their anniversary and ends up burning the food. This exact exchange.

Actually it may have happened when they were younger too considering the first time, Phoenix warned Maya not to actually laugh when he says this because “It’s a trick. He’ll get mad when you laugh. Or burst into tears.” So did baby Miles run away, have to be dragged back and then yell this when Phoenix tried to comfort him over not being able to do origami back in the day? And then did he try to laugh like Miles asked because he thought it would help and this is what triggered the outbreak of sobbing? IT’S PRETTY MUCH CONFIRMED THAT THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. IN MY HEART.

Phoenix: (SIGH, I WAS READY TO HUG IT OUT WITH HIM BUT HE’S THE SAME OLD PRIDEFUL EDGEWORTH)

Phoenix if u tell him you want to hug him I’m sure he’ll say yes cuz it’s you. Go for it.

OKAY MILES WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY BADGE.

Miles: “I never thought I’d see you wear one of these”

Phoenix: “It’s because of you I became one”

WAY TO ESCALATE THIS CONVERSATION PHOENIX HE WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE SMALL TALK GIVE THE MAN A BREAK.

CUE DRAMATIC ARM CLUTCH AND MILES HAVING A MINI SEIZURE AS HE TRIES TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS

Phoenix: “Not that I have any regrets. I really don’t.”

FEELING SEIZURE CONTINUES

Phoenix: if you’re trying to say “thanks “you can can say it a bit louder.

Honestly I can’t even handle them just kill me.

OOOOH I CAN PRESENT MIA’S PROFILE TO MILES WATCHA GONNA SAY

Miles: “One of the biggest names in the world of law as I’m sure you’ll agree”

NICE THINGS. He respects her! I’m so proud of you, Miles, you’ve come so far.

Miles: “For better or worse, we were only destined to meet once in courtroom”

Probably for better. You would have lost. And she would have had to put up with your brattiness more. Not a good time for either of you.

Phoenix: (I know. I read all about it).

Miles “It was the first time for both of us. Two novices head to head.”

THAT REMINDS ME DID U GO TO MIA’S GRAVE AND APOLOGIZE FOR THAT BIMBO REMARK BECAUSE IF NOT I DEMAND YOU DO.

Miles: I can still remember how downhearted I felt after that trial ended the way it did

Phoenix: (I wonder if Mia felt the same way, too).

Uhh Phoenix she literally wrote down that she did. That is was a wound in her soul that never healed or whatevs. Though I guess we don’t know if Mia wrote down the stuff Phoenix read. He could have just researched the case and all the narration we read was just Mia’s thoughts to herself rather than what she wrote down.

I’M GONNA PRESENT MAYA

Miles: “I don’t know her very well, but it seems like she’s always landing in trouble”

Phoenix: “You clearly know her better than you think.”

Miles: “I do sincerely hope she’s all right.”

Aww. Also, like you guys aren’t constantly landing in trouble too.

If I present Pearl Miles is like “SHE’S A CHILD I CANT TRY AND FORCE THINGS OUT OF HER. I’M NOT BEING MEAN TO A KID WRIGHT. YOU GET THE INFO SHE’LL TALK TO YOU”

omg Miles. You know I always thought the whole “I’M WORRIED ABOUT THE DEFENSE TRAUMATIZING THIS CHILD” with Cody Hackins was just him being a dick as usual, but considering this dialogue it looks like that was genuine.

Miles is very defensive of young children and paranoid about them being traumatized. That makes sense and is both adorable and sad.

Presenting Gumshoe means Miles mentions he took him out for pasta and Nick is like “WELL GOOD YOU OWE HIM THAT MUCH IT’S YOUR FAULT HIS SALARY IS SO LOW GIVE THE POOR GUY A RAISE JESUS.”

Speaking the truth goddamn give it to him good Phoenix

I was thinking for a second investigation 2 causes a continuity error here bc he finally gives Gumshoe a raise in that but then I looked up the official Ace Attorney timeline that case takes place after this one.

All of Investigations takes place after this case and ends just before Phoenix gets disbarred (the last case of investigations 2 is literally 10 DAYS BEFORE IT HAPPENS…). Which makes sense bc if Miles had been gone for a year he wouldn’t have had time to be in spinoff games set in Japanifornia during that time. I have no idea why I thought investigations was set between game 2 and 3.

BUT I’M ALSO CONFUSED BECAUSE IF MILES HAS BEEN GONE FOR A YEAR HE CAN’T BE THE PERSON CUTTING GUMSHOE’S SALARY. Unless it was that way when he left and the new boss kept it the same. Either way, SHAME ON WHOEVER REPLACED MILES.

Miles have been going to trials in five different countries to learn how to be better at running them…and apparently learned all the languages.Phoenix is like “WHAT. HOW. IT’S TAKEN ME A LIFETIME TO SORT OF MASTER ONE LANGUAGE” I feel you Phoenix

If I try to show him evidence it’s all “I’m a prosecutor, I’m a defense attorney, we cannot discuss things so intimately” Miles he wasn’t asking to make out with you over the evidence, he genuinely wants your opinion.

Talking to Gumshoe, we find a bloody sword and Phoenix tells Gumshoe he doesn’t want to get it tested. Gumshoe realizes he’s terrified it’s Maya’s blood (and is going green at the thought). I FORGOT ABOUT THIS PART THIS IS SO SAD.

Gumshoe reassures him and says she’s definitely okay and he’ll take him and Maya out for pasta when they find her. Awww Gumshoe I love ya. You really are better at knowing how to handle people’s feelings than anyone else in this bar. (And that being said, Phoenix should really tell him to go talk to Miles right now too. He is in need.).

Huh I forgot about this bit where Miles and Phoenix figure out how Dahlia is involved in all this together. I also completely forgot that Miles found out Dahlia was Phoenix’s ex and tried to kill him etc.

Phoenix mentions spirit channeling and Miles just flips out all like “SPIRIT CHANNELERS ARE FRAUDS THAT WOMAN ACCUSED AN INNOCENT MAN OF MURDER AND RUINED MY LIFE”

Did…he never figure out that it was his dad’s spirit who lied about the murder?APPARENTLY NOT.

and apparently he’s just willfully ignoring all those times Maya magically transformed into Mia RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Like I know you tend to be hyper-focused on Phoenix in court but I cannot believe you wouldn’t notice sometimes Maya is a foot taller and busting open her kimono. HOW DO YOU RATIONALIZE THIS TO YOURSELF? WHERE IS THE ~LOGIC~ MILES?

I guess “my dad accused an innocent man to protect me” would be a leap Miles would be unwilling to make because it goes against his image of his dad as champion of the ~Truth~. Not to mention it would be pretty horrible to know your dad’s spirit is out there thinking you were the one that killed him. Miles is going to have a hard time with dealing with that. Phoenix seems to realize this because he just kind of pauses for a second and is like “you’ll understand someday, Edgeworth”.

it WOULD be incredibly awkward and painful to just be say “UM NO EDGEWORTH SPIRIT CHANNELING IS REAL YOUR DAD JUST THOUGHT YOU KILLED HIM AND LIED TO THE MEDIUM TO PROTECT YOU FROM TRAUMA. WHICH DIDN’T WORK BUT WHATEVER”. Phoenix ain’t droppin’ that bomb on him.

TIME TO GO TALK TO IRIS…EXCEPT NOT REALLY. I think I remember what happened here, Iris and Maya-channeling-Dahlia switched places in the sacred cavern….

You can honestly tell she’s Dahlia if you pay attention to her dialogue- mostly when Phoenix messes up

Iris: I had hoped you would get at least this much correct. I hate seeing you mess up and getting all disappointed.

Phoenix: (Nngh... I didn't know she could be so harsh...)

And she also says “that’s no position for a lawyer to find himself in” if he stumbles another time. Dahlia’s gonna find a way to own Phoenix even if she has to pretend to be sweet, just gotta do it.

Then of course when Phoenix says Dahlia “began relations with a certain college student in order to hide the evidence. That college student... Have you heard anything about him...?”

Iris:... Well... I did hear one thing... She said she hated his guts. :D

REALLY SUBTLE THERE DAHLIA. Awww Phoenix is so sad and she’s so cackling inside about it. She really is an excellent villain.

AND GUESS WHAT. I’D STILL RATHER TALK TO HER THAN GODOT.

BUT NO HE HAS TO SHOW UP.

Agh it’s just like. Dahlia’s brand of evil is delicious and chilling- it’s fun to watch even if it’s horrible. She knows what she’s doing and she’s having fun with it.

MEANWHILE GODOT IS JUST OBNOXIOUS AND SELF RIGHTEOUS ABOUT HIS EVIL AND NOTHING IS FUN AGH.

ONCE AGAIN Godot’s all was “your job to protect them” re Mia and Maya.

NO IT ISN’T. HIS JOB IS TO BE A LAWYER. BEING A 24/7 BODYGUARD TO EVERY WOMAN HE MEETS IS NOT THE CAREER HE WENT FOR.

MIA IS HIS BOSS. MAYA IS HIS FRIEND (WHO HE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR!). THEY ARE NOT HELPLESS LITTLE DOLLS HE’S SUPPOSED TO KEEP IN SOME GLASS CASE AND SHUT AWAY FROM THE WORLD.

Guess who’s going to lecture Phoenix because he, I don’t know, didn’t feel that Mia was being murdered with his Spidey-sense and then swing over at the speed of light to punch the murderer to death or whatever he was supposed to do? Godot, of course!

Phoenix finally points out that HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW MIA WAS IN DANGER OR WHAT SHE WAS UP TO HOW THE FUCK WAS HE SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING. And Godot’s response is that “being oblivious is a crime.”

YEAH PHOENIX. HOW DARE YOU NOT KNOW THINGS PEOPLE DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT. A REAL MAN WOULD DEVELOP PSYCHIC POWERS.

Hey Godot you know what is actually a crime. Actually knowing people are in danger, not telling them they are, doing nothing to prevent it and actually making everything infinitely worse because you wanted to do some super-violent dashing rescue to soothe your own pathetic ego. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, riiiiight?

And then Godot is like “WHATEVER MAYA’S DEAD I HAVE DECIDED THIS SO IT MUST BE SO” right in front of Pearl oh my god I hate you so much. Fortunately he finally fucking leaves and Nick reassures her.

AND NOW IT’S TRIAL TIME SO I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM MORE.

THIS GAME WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT YOU IN IT GODOT.

Well, we’ll endure and carry on. TILL NEXT TIME.

#the great ace attorney replay

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dageek87 · 7 years

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Nick Spencer doesn’t read about the comic book characters he writes: A treatise

Ok. So fans have gotten a lot of recent news about the upcoming Secret Empire event. Needless to say, the girls are not pleased. It seems as though the new Hydra contingent will not only be headed up by Steve Rogers but that the Master of Magnetism himself, Magneto, will be amongst the Hydra rank and file.

I remember back in the days of 2016 when the first issue of Steve Rogers: Captain America came out. There was a civil war (teehee) amongst the fandom about Steve being revealed as a Hydra agent. The against camp argued that it was an insult for Captain America, THE CAPTAIN AMERICA to be an agent of a Nazi Death Cult considering he was made by 2 Jewish people (Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, also WW2 veterans) to fight said Nazis. The for camp then countered with creative license and give the story a chance and technically they’ve done this story before.

I was firmly in the against camp. Not only was it insulting to the Jewish creators, readers, fans, etc. It also didn’t make sense to me as I understood the character. The thing that makes the charater is his moral center. It is unshakeable not just because he was raised right or his life experiences. He is the way he is because he is. He would be Steve Rogers: Captain America regardless of anything. The man is incorruptable and he always bends to the side of goodness. Much like Tony Stark’s true superpower is his intelligence, Steve Rogers’s true superpower is his moral compass. This is why, depending on the times or the issues, Captain America is either with you or against you. And if he is against you, you are wrong.

However, after hearing all of these glowing “reviews” about the story, I relented and read. Don’t ask how I read the books. SHHH! Just don’t think about it! And my determination is that Nick Spencer’s run on Captain America and Marvel’s all around new direction with the character is good...if you don’t think about it too hard.

Like, no joke, if you know even a modicum about the CA continuity and that branch of the Marvel Universe, the story falls apart. While I was reading the comic, I was thinking wow this would be a great story if it was anyone else. The facts about Steve Rogers do not match up to any of his actions in the story. So here’s my issues and complaints.

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. It is revealed in the 1st issue, that Elisa Sinclair is a woman in his altered memories that turned Sarah Rogers, Steve’s mother, into a Hydra activist. Elisa engineers both Steve’s parents murders and absconds with Steve to Europe. 1st of all it’s public record that Steve’s parents died of disease. In the story they have yet to explain what happened to Steve’s grandfather (who was still alive when he was a child) or Steve’s childhood friend, Arnold Roth. This creates a problem because both characters would notice his kidnapping and fingers would be pointed at the weird woman who was constantly hanging around the house. Who also suddenly disappeared.

2. It is revealed in the run that Steve was sent to a Hydra school after he was kidnapped by Elisa. He develops a friendship with one Helmut Zemo, when Zemo defends him from some bullies. This is framed as a mirror of MCU Steve Rogers’s relationship with MCU Bucky. However, in the continuity, Helmut wasn’t even alive at the time. He was born well after CA “died.”

3. In the 1st issue, Steve tosses Jack Flagg from a plane leading to his death. Not only was it unnecessary, it was down right fucked up. Regardless what happens next, Steve killed an innocent man. On purpose. How can the character recover from that?

4. Then there is the issue of the serum. Spencer already set up that in the alternative memories that Steve didn’t get the Super Soldier Serum from Erskine. But the explaination doesn’t hold up under examination. The serum is designed to work on a mentally, emotionally, (morally?) perfect human. It’s almost magic. All other versions of the serum have failed to varying degrees on EVERYONE ELSE. Including the near perfect Isaiah Bradley because of flaws in character. If Steve was trained to be a morally corrupt nazi, wouldn’t the serum fail him too?

5. Kobik is the key to all of this and that is a PROBLEM. Mind you, Kobik’s character is so vaguely and poorly written by multiple writers, we don’t really know how exactly her powers work. I mean she has the power to turn Steve into...this with no resistance from him at all. We learn that she can change anything into something else in the Thunderbolts comics. She is the Cosmic Cube in the form of a 4 year old girl, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. And she has been turned by the likes of the goddamn Red Skull?! I get it she’s 4, but either she’s a child or a god. Either she can competently weild her powers or not. And depending on who’s writing her, it’s either or.

6. Then there’s the biggest problem of all: Steve Rogers’s friends and the rest of the superhero community. Bucky has been knowing Steve for years. Sharon and Steve share a bed. And Sam has done both (no joke). If anyone knows anything about Steve, it’s them. So there’s no real reason that they haven’t found it out yet. The only person who know’s Steve has been brainwashed is Kobik, Red Skull and a brainwashed Eric Selvig. The people who know him the least. Now to be fair, they tried to explain why his friends wouldn’t suspect him. But that dog ain’t hunting. Especially with Bucky, who knows firsthand what someone being turned looks like.

I could go on. It seems that Nick Spencer is a shock value type of writer. He writes something shocking in one issue then tries to make it make sense later and it is not working out. It also seems like this dude really doesn’t like the character and really wanted to write him in the worst light. Spencer has written a conniving, power hungry, meglomaniac, who hates doing his own dirty work. There is nothing honorable about this Captain America. Nothing is redeemable about this Captain America. And that’s the point. Nick Spencer, much like Zach Snyder and Frank Miller with Superman, wanted to break this character. Because it is fun. It’s exicting to put our dark fantasies into the mouths of our icons. It certainly is easier to write.

But therein lies the problem with life and comics. No one walks away from their wrongdoings clean. Hank Pym didn’t get redeemed after he beat Janet Van Dyne. We’re still talking about how Iron Man betrayed and imprisoned his friends during the 1st Civil War. This fall from grace that the original Captain America is facing is a fall in the worst way. Because it is not him, mainly. But also, this a fall he won’t be able to walk away from. I legit don’t know what they can do with Steve Rogers after this except kill the character and put him on the self. For them to go be to the way he was: the occasionally self- righteous but good at heart Pater Familias would ring hypocritical. It would be unearned.

And now he wants to do this same thing to one Eric Lensherr. I hate Hydra Cap and I am sad that the character came to this. But making Magneto Hydra is the greatest slap in the face to the people who made comics what it is today. People have this notion that Magneto is a bad guy because he hates humans. This is a false equivalency that is shared with his inspiration Malcolm X. See they hate so they are just as bad as their enemies. This is All Lives Matter at its worst. Magneto has a right to be hostile! Humanity, in particular the Nazis, killed the whole of his family. Humanity was the reason his current family is broken. He lost his whole life to the bigotry of man, so you damn right he hates humanity. He learned how to hate and kill (to paraphrase) from the foot of his masters! Magneto is an adversary, he is an antagonist, he may sometimes even be a villian. But a bad man? How could he be when everything he does is for the betterment of his PEOPLE! The people who are being killed due to bigotry and bottom lines. And now the alledged House of Ideas is lumping him in with a group of people he fought his whole life against?! A group of people who wouldn’t hesitate to kill super Jewish ass?! If anybody was to be the hero of this Nazi Death Cult takeover story, IT’S MAX GODDAMN EISENHARDT because NOBODY knows better what Hydra is capable of than him!

Now, I’m hot. Let me wrap this up. I don’t want anybody to get me wrong. I would love to see twists and changes in these characters. Stasis is the death of characters like these because they do not live and die in just one book. They are legacies, passed down through the years. So long as there are new and interesting stories to tell, they should be told. Or else they go the way of Prince Valiant or the Shadow. But these characters don’t just belong completely to one person. They belong to the company, yes. But without the consumer, without the fan. They are worthless. And there is only so much you can bend, and ignore the history of the character until you have warped it for good. Stories have meaning and a bad story leaves everyone worse off. My best advice to people who are mad at the direction Marvel is going with these characters is to read up and watch the stories where they get it right. Then write, draw, envision the characters the way you see fit (within the legal limits though). And lastly use your power as a consumer to show the company the way. Boycott this event. Support other artist who are doing the work and telling the stories, especially if they’re women and POC. Hell, I might have to fall on the sword and see what the Distinguished Competition is up to. Maybe they will fix it, maybe they won’t but it doesn’t have to be something you tolerate.

Fin

#nick spencer #captain america #hydra cap #magneto #secret empire #longest i have ever wrote about comics

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flowercloudbliss · 7 years

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Back to blogging

I haven’t blogged in a little bit. I am going to blog again. I really don’t think anyone is going to read this. but if you are, hi!

Kids:

so I read the last few blogs I wrote and things are getting much better with the kids and their sleep schedules. I have them sleeping in their own beds every night around 7pm in bed. Linus and Tifa still cry and protest a little bit but at least they sleep through the night after about 20 min, and they sleep 12 hours every night. That’s nice!

Back to the spring schedule. The fall schedule was similar.

I have M: usually not much, it’s suppose to be MOMS club play date but they have been slow lately.

Tues: every other Tues is MOPS, with free child care

Wed: FBA, a bible study with free child care

thurs: PWOC with free child care

Fri: Coffee date! I like them, I think I can learn to know them more and like them more (3 girls I hang out with)

I try to do laundry only once a week, only on Saturdays, and also grocery shopping only on Saturdays without the kids.

I am budgeting a lot more than I use to. I read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money makeover and we are trying to budget.

I read “boundaries” by townsend and cloud, and really like it.

My brother tried to live with me and my friend is wondering why I can’t charge him rent and why is he always asking to borrow money. I wonder the same thing, but I am starting to get to the root of things.

I also just recently read 7 habits of highly effective people.

I have been memorizing bible verses lately.

Talking to God a little bit more these days.

John 16:33 “Jesus said I have told you these things so that in me you will have peace, in the world you will have many problems, but take heart, I have overcome the world”

Also Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you”

Also Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still”

Also Ephesians 6:17 “put on the helmet of salvation and take up the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God”

also 2 Timothy 1:7 “But the Lord did not give you a spirit of Fear, but of Power, Love and self discipline”

These are the bible verses that I have been thinking of lately.

I hope to memorize more bible verses as the rest of 2017 goes on.

My sister got married around Dec 10, she is having her white wedding on Aug 19, it is a Sunday.

My mother in law came to visit the day after Christmas for a week, and then my family went to see my sister and her husband at Myrtle beach for two days (new years eve and new years).

My husband and I are doing better, I have learned to forgive and to focus on not him as my center but more so focus on God and his principles of righteousness as my center. I have to focus on God and let god be in charge of me, and not anyone or anybody else! I have to! I have to learn to do that to be in self control and not get angry because no one is perfect and anyways, Psalm 1 says a righteous man meditates on God’s law day and night and has no time for any other thoughts! He does not stand in the way of a sinner or sit in the seat of a mocker! He has no time for that! Besides what they do is between them and God and God will take care of them just like God will take care of me! ok,,, peace out! I will try to write more about my attempt to make friends, figure myself out and other things.

Oh by the way I found a small church that I like. They have a women’s bible study that I really like. It’s focused on bible scriptures! I love it! I love the singing too. It’s a really small church.

My daughter takes 2-3 hour naps and I let my son do quiet time and learn his ABCs or whatever, when she naps. I need that time to read too! I have 2-3 bible studies I want to do.

Today she slept from 1-almost 4 pm!

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dmmowers · 7 years

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God is not a vending machine

Rub the cross; it will give us good luck!

I was in fourth grade. My friend Matt and I were sweating in the back of his parents' Chevy Beretta, watching the chest-high corn pass by out the window as we drove to our town's arch-rival town. Matt had his baseball uniform on. He was ready to do battle with the infidels from Genoa Kingston on a glorious field of green. I had been to Vacation Bible School at the Methodist the week before, and I had made a medallion out of plastic beads. You might remember the kind of medallion I'm talking about it. You made it by placing these colored plastic beads on a grid. When you finished placing the beads on the grid, the teacher took a hot iron and ran it over the beads with it so that they melted together. When they cooled down, you would take the melted-together-beads off of the grid. They cooled down, and you'd have a medallion. With me so far?

I put a black cross in the center of my medallion, surrounded by orange and yellow beads. I had brought it with in the car on the way to the baseball game. Just as we arrived at city limits, a couple of minutes away, I had a brilliant idea. I wanted Matt to win in his baseball game. I had been told that God cared about the details of our life, that God loved us and wanted what was best for us. Surely that meant that God wanted Matt to win too. I turned to him and held out the medallion. "Rub the cross!" I said. "It will give us good luck!" We both became reverently quiet as Matt rubbed the cross. We arrived at the field. We threw the medallion on the backseat and ran out of the car.

I cannot now remember whether his team won the game or not. What I do remember is the reverent silence as we asked for favor from God to win a baseball game. Yes, it was just kids playing, but what we believed was that this medallion had special power because it had a cross on it - that somehow, because there was a cross, God would give us victory if we touched the cross and thought good thoughts. We believed in the kind of God who would intervene in our lives so long as you said the right things and did the right things.

And yes, we were just kids, but when the chips are down for a lot of us adults, many of us try to play The Art of the Deal with the Most High. We think we are freely choosing to go to God with our problems. We try to persuade God into doing something that we want by offering to do something for him. What we don't realize is that the Power of Sin lurks just behind the corner. We revere the cross of Jesus - a good gift God has given us - and us it for our own manipulative purposes.

In our reading from the Apostle Paul to the Romans this morning, Paul describes the way that the people of Israel took a good gift from God and used it for their own manipulative purposes. In their case, it was not the cross - it was the Law of Moses. God had chosen Israel to be his special people through the covenant he made with Abraham, and so God gave them the Law of Moses. The Law was summarized by the Ten Commandments, and the purpose of the Law was so that the people of Israel would know how God called them to live - humbly, gently, so that the other nations of the world would take notice and the people of Israel could be a blessing to them. But that wasn't the way it happened. Instead of guiding the way that the people of Israel lived, the Law became a badge of honor, a source of national pride. The proof, they said, that we are better than everyone else. We are the people with the Law! We are the people God has chosen! We are the special people!

The people of Israel thought they were pleasing God by honoring the Law. They thought their religious zeal for their status as a people was what God wanted for them. Just like that cross medallion, the people of Israel had taken a good gift of God, the Law, and were coerced into using it in the service of the Power of Sin. The Law became a way to distinguish the righteous from the unrighteous, the good people from the bad people, the people God loved from the people God hated. No longer was the Law the way Israel was to be a blessing to the nations - instead the Law turned into the measuring stick Israel used to keep all those other nations from the blessing of God. They thought they were honoring God by using the Law in this way, but the power of sin had deceived them and sold them into slavery, as Paul writes in verse 14.

Paul tells us that the giving of the Law gave the Power of Sin an opportunity. Before the Law was given to Moses, the people of Israel only knew what God wanted when God revealed himself to them. But now they had a Law that was written down, a series of commandments that told them to do some things and not to do others.

The effect was similar to telling a toddler not to touch a hot stove. The toddler runs around the kitchen, oblivious to the stove. But the moment you tell the child that the stove is hot and they are under no circumstances to touch it, you can see the wheels start to turn. Oh really? I'm not supposed to touch the oven. I wonder what would happen if I touched the oven. Okay, fine, I won't touch the oven. I'll touch the cabinet right next to the oven, just to see what happens. You know where this is going! Eventually the child touches the oven. The child was tempted to do something because they had been told not to do it. The command not to touch the oven - that's the Law. The temptation to touch it just because they had been told not to - that is what the power of Sin does to the people of Israel. "For sin," Paul writes, "seizing an opportunity in the commandment, deceived me and through it killed me." The Power of Sin saw that God had given Israel the Law, and saw an opportunity to enslave God's chosen people by tempting them to break the Law, which they did again and again, not only by disobeying it, but by treating it as a symbol of how favored Israel was among all the other nations. Israel's vocation was to live as a blessing for the other nations but ultimately they chose to live as though they were better than everyone else. They took a good gift of God and used it for their own purposes, and what it brought about was not the favor of God, but slavery to the power of sin.

II.

Just like that parent standing at the stove, watching the toddler edge closer, we understand what it is to use God's good gifts for our own purposes, and then to suddenly realize that the Power of Sin has used our actions to bring about death. Every time we use the name of God or what we know about Jesus Christ for our own purposes, that is the Power of Sin working in us to bring about our destruction.

The God of Jesus Christ is not a God who makes bargains. So many people have this idea that the God of Jesus Christ is like a vending machine: if you put a dollar in, press A4, you get a Snickers bar. The Packers are down by a touchdown with 34 seconds to go, you tell God that you'll go to church next Sunday if Aaron Rodgers can find Jordy Nelson on a sideline route towards the middle of the field. You are a politician and you tell the people that you feel called by God to help heal America, and all of you voters out there will be blessed if you vote for me. If you're kids who want to win a baseball game, you silently touch your cross medallions on the way to the field so that God would give you the victory.

People do this all the time for much more important things, too. People fight with their spouses over a long period of time, and then one day, you argue and fight all day. You get to that climactic moment in the fight and you realize that the next words out of your mouth are going to determine whether you get a divorce, and in the heat of the moment, you tell God that you will give God anything he asks for if you can get out of this moment still married. We'll help other married couples who are having problems! We'll go to Fr Dave and tell him we want to put on a marriage retreat for Trinity Church! You're in that moment when your stomach drops after your college-aged daughter comes to you and tells you to sit down. She's already crying as she tells you that she needs to tell you something, and in that moment you think, "Lord, I will give you anything you want for this not to be her telling me that she's had an abortion, that she's hooked on drugs, that something terrible has happened to her." Even in the midst of the most terrible moments in our lives, we are tempted to do the same thing that the people of Israel did. We have received such good gifts from God in Jesus, in the church, in the way that Jesus has shown himself to us in Scripture, and the temptation for us is to think that we have achieved some kind of status because God has given us those gifts to us. The temptation is to think that we are special, that we are the ones with something to offer to God, that we are the ones that God needs to worship him. But that is all wrong. III.

Here's the good news: none of this is news to God. God knows that the Law provided an opportunity to the power of Sin to enslave the people of Israel. God knows that the good gifts that he has given to his church provide an opportunity for us to try to manipulate God. Paul writes about this struggle in such memorable terms: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who shall set me free from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

God knew that the giving of the Law would provide sin an opportunity to enslave the people of Israel. God knew that giving the Church the many good gifts it has would provide an opportunity to enslave us. So what did God do? He sent us Jesus Christ, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin.

The Jewish Christians Paul was writing to in Rome were no longer slaves to sin because Jesus Christ had broken the power of Sin. No longer did they hold up the Law as the special possession of their special people, they held up Jesus Christ, not as their possession at all, but as a gift they had been given to be shared with the world. No longer were the people of Israel to live as an enclave, as a pure people set apart from the pagan Gentiles around them. They were to be a people that invited the Gentiles in, that invited people of other races, who didn't have the Law and never had the Law, to be a part of the chosen people of God. This chosen people would be open to people of every nation, of every tribe, of every tongue, no matter how uncivilized or backwards or Barbarian or dirty. The worship of the one true God would no longer be limited to the people who thought they were better than everyone else because they had received the gift of the Law. The worship of the one true God would be for all people, for the people of Israel have been set free from the law of sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord.

IV.

And today, Trinity Church, we have been set free from the power of Sin through Jesus Christ our Lord. We no longer have to believe the lie that we need to have something to offer God for God to intervene in our lives. We don't have to have a cross medallion to ask God to help us win a baseball game. We don't have to tell God how often we'll go to church if he will come down right now to save our marriage. In that moment when our stomach drops and we're looking at the tears streaming down our child's face, we don't have to tell God that we'll put our life savings in the offering plate to have him be with us. When we cry out to God, "Abba! Father! Daddy! Help us," God is faithful to meet us in that moment because he has adopted us as his children: not because of our goodness, not because of anything we offer him, but because that is the kind of God our God is.

God doesn't need us. God doesn't need any of the things that we would try to use to bargain with him. God is not subject to manipulation; God is not a vending machine. Because the God of Jesus Christ raised him from the dead, God is as near to us as our next breath. He is with us in that moment when the knock on the door comes in the middle of the night, no matter how bad the news is. He is the one who puts those words of forgiveness for our spouse in our mouths in that pivotal moment of fighting, those words that we are surprised to hear ourselves utter. When we are out of our minds with fear watching our adult child crying in front of us, God is with us when we find ourselves telling that child that we will always love them, no matter what they are about to tell us. We cannot manipulate this God into giving us what we ask for, but thanks be to God in Jesus Christ, this God has already given us everything we need. The only response left open to us is not to work hard to please him, but only to thank him, to worship him for all of his goodness to us.

Who shall rescue us from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

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ofparadigmandstars-blog · 7 years

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Mon 27 March .....I better write something or I will kill

Comfort nearing today .... Not thinking it's going to be good or healthy. Now remember I am a health freak so my lifestyle is pretty slick n span ....So when I do these things it's like a warning signal that something is up? I will visit, I a!Ways do. I will never sink to the bottom. I remember I liked to play this game in the pool ; I would get lifeless and slowly sink to the floor of the pool & stay there till I was totally out of breath. And that kicking, rush of life would come gushing in and I would rise to the top like an elegant mermaid and rock back my head at the surface ..My hair all wet and flat down my shoulders, my face cleared from heavy waves , small drops trickling down my cheeks...My lungs gratefully full of air... Feeling courageous & beautiful So my uncle and aunt came to visit us yesterday .. I was so glad to see them. We had a lovely afternoon , few glasses of wine for mum & I - Dun had some beers and aunty coonie had some fresh fruity water I made for her. She was one to be the center of every party, the drinker, the massive social hostess of Zimbabwe & Zambia. Well unfortunately she was diagnosed with cancer and so it's all healthy living now , plus she survived a very aggressive cancer. So glad to see her alive and not succumb.... Anyway great afternoon , can't fault it; however I may be over sensitive or perhaps feeling uncomfortable about it but he asked twice 'so what are your plans with work now your back home....' I know it's a sensible question to ask but I felt invaded and searched. Interrogated almost....And it's been bothering me since. With yoga and meditation it's really been helping me to calm my neurotic nature that I do believe I have genetically inherited from my mum, John, Marlene. And for once to not always be on the defensive and to just let go and let God. So many thoughts have raced through my mind since the incident becoming more and more ferocious. The mind is a jungle mania if you don't just think it through or write this shit out ! And perhaps see how ridiculous your being . I felt he was taking on the elderly male figurehead as my mum is a widow and we lost our dad when we were young. So my mum has always put out this needy nature around his company. Like please offer direction and discipline to my unruly children. Well in this case it felt uncomfortable and dumbfounded because never have I spoken to him , never has he called me or reached out in some kind of heroic father figure head move... So why after 16 years of living in London do I now come home and find that it's an outrage and I am back living with mum. And shouldn't I be settled and in a stable job, have a husband and kids? No actually I'm a freaking freak at 35! You have no idea about my life so don't you come here on some cloud asking me about what I'm supposed to be doing - God fucken dam life is way too complicated you self righteous dum old fuck....Traditional and stuck in your ways , those do not apply now....And you just did not live my life. You were not there at every corner to understand it? Life is not one magic miraculous 'shit always works out' mould....it is full of twists and turns, ups, downs, highs , lows...And that I truly believe ...Being the self proclaimed happy hippy I am ...That is the beauty of it. I am where I am supposed to be.... This is how it's worked out and I am all accepting of where I am and what I'm doing. So bugger off you boring fuck. Was that too much? Anyway no it was not and he had no right but than again I've been away 16 years and perhaps he still feels the need to play the daddy knows best and let me make sure your doing what's right you lost little lamb. Ruuuuuuude It's no secret I'm pissed off huh? The more I write the more I excrete.... I'm feeling better for it. And I will keep feeling better until I feel amazing because I know how to master my self and my emotions. So I wanted to email him but let it go.... He is not thinking about this one shred is the truth of it. He had his moment in the sun basking in the radiance of my mother's approval at the time and I was so not taking it in at that moment either just answering him as you would answer a teacher in class when asked a question. I coloured it with jovially because I meant it but I thought back later last night and when you go over stuff I thought...Wait a minute..He got a cheek. Or I'm a freak and giving myself a hard time because I do believe deep inside my psyche that I must be working already ... No that's incorrect, I just think he wanted to clarify my plans....Because in the past my sister has returned home and did not bother working but instead fought with my mum day and night because well they always have and well my family is the most disfunctional piece of work ever! Put you in the picture my family are well off....My dad left my mum property and a workshop and she made successes of everything - and we are privileged. My dad was an alcoholic and my mum a pharmaceutical addict. They fought alot but insane about 4 or 5 and don't remember much but it was pretty hostile. So I'm a fuck up because my family are screwed up ....And wait a minute it's who said anything about me being screwed up. It's just don't expect miracles from a neglected child...I mean I remember zero support from any of them educationally, helping me realise my dreams, no one came to my school open days, no one cared about my life. As long as I was eating and sleeping and had shelter ...Which I'm super grateful for but really there was no structure. I was allowed to do what I wanted. Mum is not angry with me or wanting me to leave the house ...But it's just that hope I make something of myself or meet some really nice guy who will ride me into a perfect sunset. Back..... I was interrupted by Whitney and mum/John who were stopped by copper - anyway will round up.... Yes it was awkward what Danny did but you know what Fuck him rude illiterate twit, gets money from my sister in time, arrogant and gives zero shits about anyone but his nearest ...Yet still feels the need to take this patriarch position in the family. You were not in UK with me, not one freaking day of all those years. I enjoyed my time , I loved, I lost, I fought, worked, earned and paid all my God dam dues!! Plus sent money home to mum....lots! So I have risen and figured it out in my head , I am allllriiight and people will be people, extended family will always be talk, gossip and be green with blatant envy (Geral) but I rise and rise even higher because they make it so clear that my happiness is important and Indo not give a dam what they think. Life is precious and my life is very valuable to be. I have lived enough to know that I will not be fucked with....No way...I am only living for love , clarity, freedom and peace. The rest of those fuckers can drop dead. I feel so much better...... Playing guitar now...Time or bed XX Remember babe..... Keep improving yourself, enjoy your days, keep learning, laugh, take care of yourself , don't sweat the small stuff and don't take any bullshit.

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mumuonmission · 7 years

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Gospel Freedom

True Christians won’t deny the freedom in the Gospel for salvation. We believe in the one true Gospel of Jesus Christ. The Gospel that Jesus is God and that He came in the form of a human to live and die for our sins, resurrected and ascended back into Heaven leaving those who believe with the Holy Spirit. But how often do we apply the Gospel to our every day lives? How often do we live out the assurance in Christ in our daily troubles?

Jeff Vandersvelt would say that we’re all unbelievers at times, whether our hearts are regenerate or not. If you're like me, you’ve lived more years without knowing the Gospel than knowing, so the Gospel may still be a foreign language. What does it look like to live Gospel-centered lives where we not only know the Gospel, but we believe in it, and apply it? Vandersvelt says, “A life of true living is a life of faith in Jesus, a life of believing in Jesus in the everyday stuff of life.”

Being Gospel fluent is first believing in the Gospel and God’s power to make us more & more like Him through faith in Jesus. That is sanctification.

“But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-18

Paul speaks of the glory of Jesus being greater than the glory of the old covenant. My pastor once told me, “a sinner isn’t someone who breaks the law, for that would mean the opposite is following the law. A sinner is someone who doesn’t believe.” We have all struggled with unbelief even after being saved. We are Christians not because we abstain from sin, but because we believe in Jesus. We believe we are saved through faith in Christ through grace alone. (Ephesians 2:1-10) We maintain that salvation through that same faith in Christ. (Galatians 3:1-6) Salvation lives in us, therefore we live in freedom. God will give us the belief to behold Him, and through Him, He changes us. Believing in the Gospel is living in freedom.

Gospel fluency = Gospel freedom

We need to preach the Gospel to: -ourselves to fight the good fight of faith (1 Timothy 6:10-12) -other believers to encourage one another as long as today is called today (Hebrews 3:12-14) -unbelievers because it is the Great commission and it is the natural response to any good news we receive, to share it! (Matthew 28-18-20)

Here is a practice from “Gospel Fluency” to help you rehearse the Gospel. 1. Who is Jesus? 2. What did Jesus do? 3. What must we do? 4. What happens to us?

Take the time to think and write down the answers whether you’re doing this your self or with a group of people.

Here are some examples of what me and my friends came up with:

1. Who is Jesus fully man-fully God son of God sacrifice for our sins/wrath satisfying sacrifice - propitiation savior perfect man who lived a perfect life

2. What did Jesus do? atonement for our sins died on the cross resurrected made disciples abolished the law set us free comfort us turned enemies into friends got us adopted into the family healed the sick casted our evil spirits ascended into Heaven intercedes for us

3. What must we do?

confess our belief confess our sins repent believe get baptized

4. What happens to us?

we are no longer slaves to fear/sin. we’ve been set free. we’re children of God God lives in us we live on mission to make disciples

This exercise helps you break down the Gospel, now to apply it! If we believe in this Gospel freedom, we must respond to our every day issues with it. We must fight the fight of faith by believing in Jesus over any sin and area of doubt. A constant repentance (not just turning from sin-but what we believe in our sin) and trusting Jesus. We’re called to not only believe this but to share this. It is so easy to respond to the problems of others with our flesh. Sometimes we just straight up want to tell our friends unwise advice out of our emotions. But sometimes we mean well & try to give good advice but end up giving surface level “religious” advice. I don't think twice about telling my friend to leave a bad boyfriend or even give motivational weight-loss tips to a friend who complains about being fat. Both of these solutions aren't completely bad. They may actually be needed, but without the assurance of the Gospel your friend will not defeat their sin or live in their freedom. Good results do not equal Gospel freedom. How do we communicate in a way that not only leads to good results, but the belief that Jesus is better?

This Gospel Fluency link has several tools to apply and teach it to others, but I’ll share one way you can address everyday issues with the Gospel.

“What’s the question? Jesus is the answer. What’s the problem? Jesus is the solution.” -Tim Chester/Steve Timmis

To practice being be fluent in the Gospel you must take your life issues & speak Jesus (who He is & what He did for you) over it. You do this by identifying your sin & replacing it with the truth-the assurance you have in the Gospel. The night I taught Gospel Fluency to my friends, I did an exercise using several fictional characters with issues. We highlighted the character’s issues and spoke directly to each one with the truth of the Gospel. That night exposed how easy it is to know the Gospel but not know how to clearly apply it. That night was also hard for me because hours before I received bad news that made me feel like I wasn’t worthy to share the Gospel-lies of all lies.

I was at my desk trying to pay off my late fall semester fees and register for spring classes. I knew I had a hold on my account for my past dues, but what I didn’t know was that I was on academic suspension. My heart was crushed. My journey to finish undergrad has been trying to say the least. No point of discussing all the stress, foolishness, anxiety, etc. that has brought me to my 8th year. But this hurt more than other time I’ve failed in life because I was really trying to get it together. This was the year I finally got help and addressed the issues Ive been living in secret about. This was the year I was supposed to focus on school and love my family more than ever. I immediately broke down. I feared disappointing my family, mainly my parents. All they want for me is to make good grades, graduate, and have a successful job. I felt ashamed. I was ashamed of not only the amount of years I’ve been in school, but now the fact is that number is only getting higher. In my fear and embarrassment, I told myself I can’t teach that night. After about an hour of crying, I told myself I need to fix this. I stopped lying to my parents, so I knew I couldn’t hide this. I decided I was going to come up with this long detailed plan about how I was wrong and how I would work to be back in school and be better than ever. (religion) After another hour of crying and feeling shame, I realized that I had to surrender my thoughts & actually believe this message I was going to teach these ladies.

So I prayed, cried & asked God to make my heart believe. & because I’m more hands on, I took out some paper and decided to do the lesson I was going to do with the ladies on myself. On the left side I wrote out my issues (what I was believing instead of Jesus).

1. school/suspension - I believed that my joy and success was in graduating according to my time.

2. fear of my parents and embarrassment/shame from others - I believed in the approval of people-mainly my parents.

3. detailed plan to fix this - I believed in my own efforts in doing better and getting the approval

4. not wanting to teach the Gospel - I believed in my own righteousness that makes me worthy

Then on the right side of my issues I wrote down the truth in the Gospel.

1. My joy comes from Christ alone. Worldly success comes and goes and is relative. True success is what Jesus did on the cross. I am able to rejoice in that accomplishment because through faith His grace abounds in me. I can finish school in Jesus name, but I can not make it lord over my life.

2. God saw me as enemy and through Christ He has called me a friend, a child, co-heirs, beloved, Holy, righteous, etc. I am approved by God. He loves me and He is never ashamed of me.

3. Salvation is a gift of God. I don’t need to work to earn God’s salvation or His approval. It is not my work or efforts that make me better. It is from God and through God, that I’m being made better. The grace in salvation leads me to do good works not the other way around. I don’t work for the approval or from my own strength. I depend on God’s strength and believe in Christ’s righteousness as my own approval.

4. The Gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ not the good news of me. I could never earn salvation or be worthy of being a messenger of salvation off of my good works. I am worthy because Jesus was worthy and when God sees me He sees Christ. I don’t share a message that gives life b/c I am good, but because He is good. His righteousness makes me worthy.

God broke me down, just to pick me up in His Gospel love. & In His abundant grace upon grace, He allowed my parents to share in His unconditional love for me at a time I was ready for them to insult me.

I can only walk in His Gospel freedom if I believe in this Gospel freedom.

This is one of many issues I deal with everyday. Not including the issues friends, family, co-workers, strangers bring to me. Will we be messengers of freedom or messengers of false hope? I cringe at alllllll times I have spoke “religious repentance” to myself and others. Telling people the truth of the Bible, but with the fear and motivation not to fall short.

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” The Gospel sets us free from our shackles, yet we continue to put them back on ourselves. The Gospel has opened the doors of our prison cell, but we sit and try to figure out how we can escape. THE DOOR IS OPEN. We must believe the door is open and walk in our freedom.

It is hard. It’s hard when the world doesn't believe in Jesus. When they can’t trust Christianity because their eyes are blind, hearts are of stone, and “Christians” don’t show the love of Christ. It’s hard when you're in community with believers who believe in punishment and calling out your sins over bearing and loving one another. It’s hard when you go to sleep in tears because you don’t believe God is pleased with you. Gospel freedom is not only believing but changing this culture of fear and condemnation. We’re called to preach and show this Gospel of love, hope, and assurance to ourselves, other believers, and non-believers. It will be awkward, uncomfortable, different, scary, etc. but it is not in our own power.

Paul reminds Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:7 that, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” He says this to encourage him in his faith in the Gospel through the Holy Spirit. He continues in verses 8-14, “therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel, for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher, which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.”

We have to know the Gospel like we know English. We have to believe in this Gospel like our lives depend on it. We simply surrender. And when we don’t believe we cry out, “Jesus is better, make my heart believe.” I can’t get over the verses, “where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom!” I can say it and sing with the hope and assurance because He lives in me! I am free!

Believe. Share the Gospel. Change the culture.

Tools to practice on yourself & with others---> Gospel Fluency resources:

http://www.gcmcollective.org/article/gospel-fluency/

http://saturatetheworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Excerpt-Gospel-Fluency.pdf

#gospel #gospelfluency #freedom #jesus #sanctification

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