The Jonicles - Entry 12 (original image source)

Note: This is the twelfth entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in June of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the twelfth entry of The Jonicles!

It is currently the 16th of June, 2022 at 8:10 am. It's a Thusday, and what's even more special is that Garfield (at least, the Garfield as we know him...) has his birthday coming up on Sunday!! Today also marks #29 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation. I'm almost at day #30 and that frightens me.

You know, this whole fixation on Jon Q. Arbuckle has lead to me seeing some pretty weird things, kinda like that image up above. It's the Garfield fandom, after all. Lasagna Cat, Gorefield, Bad Monday Simulator, r/imsorry jon, Garfield Minus Garfield, I've seen it all, babey. 

But, even after all that, there are still some things that break me, and just yesterday when I was looking through the Jon Arbuckle hate blog (yes, that exists and it's hilarious, even as a Jonniseur) I found a reblog of a post from someone I forget the name of who described an experience with a dream they had, a specific detail that they had remembered in that dream. Included in that post was this image of an entity I only know as simply "Turnip Jon".

Turnip Jon. Turnip Jon. Turnip. Jon.

There are so many weird fucking drawings and art pieces I've seen of Garfield and Jon. I've seen art where Jon has some sort of orange fungi sprouting from his body, I've seen art where the roles are reversed and now Jon is Garfield's pet, heck, back in 2017 I binge-watched a bunch of fanmade Garfielf videos which all led up to the reveal of Garfield being a supreme, godly being featuring a mashup of Garfield openings X Waters of Megalovania. So many drawings, so much fanfiction, so many shitposts...

But even still, nothing prepared me for Turnip Jon. The pure simplicity mixed with absurdity still truly perplexes me even hours after I first saw that image. Look at him. Just look at him. The sheer image of him is enough to break someone. It's so weird. He's so weird looking, his plump turnip body with that smug ass smirk like you know this man is up to something michievious. And those eyes. Those half-lidded, seductive eyes of his he has. And to think, someone dreamt him. Someone's deep, complex, intelligent subconscious created his entity and put it into existence in this person's mind. It created the perfect being. How. How do you even do that.

They then go on to explain Turnip Jon's known abilities, of which he has two. He is able to hover above ground by using his leaves as a propeller, an astounding evolutionary trait that no turnip has seen before. He is also able to shapeshift, specifically into one of those spinny turbine thingies you see on top of houses. An evolutionary masterpiece and an effective house coolant system. He is truly the best being. Nothing can top him.

And for what purpose? Why does he exist? What is his duty in this world? Why does such a perfect being, a being that is a mix of absurdity and hilarity, deserve to live in this flawed, horrible chaos that is this mortal coil? What is his purpose? What has he seen in his life? Why, despite all the wars, all the pain, all the hatred, do we still deserve this unsung entity? Maybe he is not the entity we deserve, but he's the entity we need in this world.

And it gets deeper. Is there a Turnip Garfield? A Turnip Odie? Turnip Liz perhaps? Mayhaps even Turnip Lyman? How many Turnip Jons exist in this world? Where did he come from? Why, out of all the turnips in the world, does he have the power to fly and shapeshift? Can Turnip Jon shapeshift into other objects? Is he edible? What is his origin story? Is this turnip form simply a primal form or is it Jon's most powerful one? Is... Is Turnip Jon God!?!?!?!?

Folks, there are many questions I have about this fantastic little sponge here, but even after all this, maybe we'll never know the truth. Maybe the truth is not ours to know. But even knowing that, we can at least have the comfort of knowing this one thing.

Turnip Jon is perfection. Turnip Jon is incredible. He's so simple yet he's so... amazing. He only has two abilities yet it feels like he could do anything in the world. He's so absurd yet so charming and he's so memorable. He's so dumb yet has so many complexities to him. And you know what? I love Turnip Jon. All my homies love Turnip Jon. I love his little veggie form, his smug little face and his adorable leaves. I love imagining him hovering mid-air and smacking his face into a wall repeatedly. He's so... good...

Turnip Jon, I welcome you with open arms into both my insane-in-the-membrane brain and into my heart, as all Jons go to. You are perfection, you are absurdity, but most importantly, you are Jon. Enjoy your stay, my man. My skrunkly, tiny, stupid turnip man.

Turnip Jon is love. Turnip Jon is life.

Last edited at 8:44 pm. Long school day!

God, that least line is just... so cursed. If you know, you know, but if you somehow don't... I send my condolences.

Anyway, Turnip Jon is probably one of the funniest things I have seen on this godforsaken website. He's so funny looking, he's so weird, and oh my goodness it took me a literal hour to find the original source of the image for this entry. I thought I had it bookmarked but I didn't, I went through so many reverse image searches and came up with nothing an the only way I found it was by painfully scrolling through the Jon hate blog to find it again. Very elusive of him to just hide in there like that.

And yes, Turnip Jon is still as perplexing and just... unbelievable to this day. He's just..... so weird, man. I love him. He's fantastic. Yes, this entry is written in a slightly satirical fashion and I exaggerate some things, but I genuinely find Turnip Jon to be such a perplexing creature. He's just so..... I don't even know, magical? Yeah, magical.

(i also apologise in advance to the original poster of turnip jon, i' just find him to be so fucking funny i'm sorry)

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 22nd of July, 2022 at 8:30 pm. We're getting close, fellas.

Desperate Housecat Owner

REVIEWS : COMICS

Garfield Minus Garfield offers a tragicomic portrait of a Sad Young Man.

This review was originally published in Fully Booked Zine, January 2009.

It’s easy to recognize the various unintended meanings hidden in the artifacts of pop culture. But few of us truly attempt to respond to the stuff we consume. One such person is Irish humorist Dan Walsh. Much as he recognizes the iconic appeal of Jim Davis’ Garfield character – the wisecracking, lasagna-scarfing cat – it’s the quiet desperation of Garfield’s owner Jon Arbuckle that won over Walsh’s sympathies. In order to highlight Jon’s sense of desperation, Walsh used digital manipulation to remove Garfield from actual comic strips. Without any of the fat cat’s unimpressed snide comments or manic rejoinders, the reader is left with Jon as a solitary everyman, often muttering to himself pathetically, or bursting out into seemingly random acts of manic inspiration. He began publishing these modified strips online in early 2008 as Garfield Minus Garfield, and quickly became a cult web success.

Initially, this seemed like a surefire way to end up with a hefty lawsuit. Mercifully, Jim Davis was supportive of the project, hailing it as “fascinating” and “inspired”. Recognizing a potential way to expand the franchise, Davis authorized this print edition, which not only collects Walsh’s strips, but also includes a section of new pieces, with Davis himself trying his hand at the Garfield Minus Garfield approach.

The legitimized format allows reprints of the original pieces that Walsh used as source material. This lets readers appreciate exactly what kind of content was displaced along the way, and to recognize how a few strategic tweaks can make a world of difference towards the entire mood of an ordinary four-panel comic strip.

The Jonicles - Entry 25

It is currently the 27th of August, 2022 at 7:02 am on a Sunday. I've woken up just a few moments ago after the nightmare that was trying to do all of my assignment in one night. But most importantly, I've once again hit another big milestone in my journey of Jon, one that I never thought I'd ever hit, and one that even puts my sanity into question...

It is officially Day #100 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation.

Holy. Shit. You know, I've never realised how long I tend to fixate on things for. "Just a year" or "just a few months" don't sound that big to me because I just see them as one period of time. But when I count each day and live it out as it is, every increasing number suddenly sounds huge. To think, on that fateful day of May 19th, 2022, on that cold morning of just looking up Jon Arbuckle out of impulse, that it would eventually transform into a 100 day... ritual? 100 days of fixating on and cherishing Jon for who he truly is, and I don't even know why. This is... really fucking huge.... It's funny. Day #90 didn't feel like that long, but suddenly, Day #100 really puts things into perspective. I have officially spent a quarter of a year in my life with all this Jon in my head....

Listen, this counting days thing makes me sound absolutely nuts considering I'm fixating on some guy from a comic strip many people think is mundane, unfunny, even bad, and without any real reason for it. But the thing is - I don't have a reason for fixating on characters, I just do. And that's the same for Jon. Throughout the time I've spent looking at this man, researching him, finding out his desires, his hopes, his dreams, his interests, his personality and writing them down in these entries... It's been really fun. I enjoy indulging in this passion of being borderline obsessed with this comic strip character. I keep saying that Jon means so much to me but he really does. We share so many little traits, so many interests, and even the traits we don't share, it's fun to just see Jon enjoying himself indulging in them the same way I indulge in him. He's so special to me.

At the beginning of this hyperfixation, I did have a bit of a clear grasp on Jon's character. I knew that there was more to him than meets the eye, that he has some issues, that he was a loveable dork, but it was never really anything beyond that. But over time, with each factoid learned, with each comic strip I read and with each entry I wrote, the layers of Jon's character started to peel away and he began to shine as the person I know him as now. Jon Arbuckle, the passionate, desperate goof with deep desires for love, acceptance, family and friendship. Jon Arbuckle, the deep, hopeless, depressed pushover, too kind and naïve for his own good at times and someone we can all relate to in one way or another. Jon Arbuckle, the loving, caring dilf

 parent for Garfield and Odie, whom he adores for being his family, and the equally loving partner to Liz, who finally found acceptance and realised she truly loved him after all. And finally, Jon Arbuckle, the man I know as a deep, interesting character, one that I adore, one I strive to be, one I accept for who he is and one I would love to talk to had he been real. I find comfort in Jon, I get this fuzzy feeling every time I see this man lovingly decorated on every strip he appears in. Every fanwork, whether it be Garfield Minus Garfield, Lasagna Cat, Gorefield, Garfielf, Jon (the fancomic), Square Root Of Minus Garfield, Relax Jon...  Every game, every movie, every cartoon, every comic strip, even just seeing him scribbled on my notebooks, he brings me such an unimagineable amount of joy. Jon, in any and every form, whether he's a "pathetic" depressed man, whether he's the hero or the villain, the survivor or the victim, whether he's just himself, a small scribble on the side of my paper... I still love him. I still adore him. After all, he's Jon. What is there not to love about him?

So, with all that said...

Jon, it's Day #100. And throughout every day that I've spent with you presence, making yourself known in my head, it's been awesome. I haven't even scraped the surface of all the comic strips I've read, I've probably only read less than 1% of all of them, but it feels like I know all there is to know about you. I've gone so in-depth in learning about you, and every time I learn something new, I smile, because it adds yet another quirky layer to all I know about you. And I love all of those layers. Seeing you in each panel you appear in makes me smile because it's you in your most real form. Being able to know so much, it's made me realise and learn more about myself too. I mean, learning about your interest in playing the accordion kinda makes me wanna learn it myself, haha... But seriously though, your struggles and hardships resonate deeply with me, your passion and love for the things that interest you matches my passion for the things I love, and your dedication and love for your pets and your girlfriend are just like the love I feel for my own family and friends. Jon, you bring joy to my life and it's a shame I can't actually talk to you about it because, you know, not being real and stuff. But regardless, Jon, I think you've changed me for the better. I'm slowly learning to accept myself more day by day and not be ashamed of what I love no matter what people think. You inspire me to keep going no matter how low I feel. You make me happy, and that itself matters so much to me. You've even spread that same joy (and also confusion) to my other friends and family as well. You, Jon, are such a great character, a great person, and I hope that one day, people learn to accept you more for who you are. You are more than just a punchline - you are Jon, and I hope you never forget that.

With that all said, here's to another milestone. Don't know when that'll happen, but no matter when that is, Jon will be with me for the journey there, and that in itself is enough to make it all worthwhile. Happy Day #100, Jon. Love you, bud :)

Last edited at 9:35 am. Man i work slow.

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 27th of August at 9:41 am.

The Jonicles - Entry 11

Note: This is the eleventh entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in June of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the eleventh entry of The Jonicles!

"Layers on layers of moments we've shared, just like a lasagna created with care.

"The flavours are burning, a new page is turning, and I hope that you'll be there in the end..."

"Goodbye, my friend..."

- Lumpy Touch (Garfield Gameboy'd Complete End Credits Theme)

It is currently 8:20 pm on the 13th of June, 2022. Today is Monday, the day of reckoning, the day of doom. And I'm not having a good day. It is also day #26 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation.

You know, there's something about the Garfield fandom that I really love. For quite a mundane comic about a man, his cat and his braindead dog, there's so much creativity and soul in its fandom. Everything from the silly and shitpost-y stuff like Garfielf, to the more dark, bleak and complex stuff like Garfield Minus Garfield, a personal favourite of mine. It's quite the goldmine of pure, unfiltered fan creativity that people have when it comes to this gluttonous feline that I don't see many fandoms do, and it's really nice, if not also fucking absurd.

But there's one fan work that has and will always be one of my absolute favourites, and that one is Gorefield, or "I'm Sorry, Jon" as more people may know it by. It's such a gem.

It's this terrifying phenomenon that sprouted from the fandom that can be compared to the Zalgo meme (if anyone here is that old to remember THAT meme), and it turns Garfield into this huge, malicious, hungry and horrifying creature that's out to get Jon. Gorefield takes many forms: a spider-like creature that hunts down its prey, a pulsating, bug-like animal that is sometimes attached to Jon or other entities, a huge, endless godlike entity that consumes all and ends all, Gazorpazorpfield, the forms are pretty diverse, and sometimes the monster is even Jon (of whom i always like to see more of).

And I love it. I love this horrific, trippy and even sometimes disgusting alternate timeline to this comic, the way it twists and distorts Jim Davis' characters into freaks and monsters capable of ending the world itself, it's great! I've seen art piece after art piece, comic after comic, meme after meme of this twisted reality and they are all great, they're all horrifying, and some of them got a chuckle out of me. I remember one where Garfield finds this connect the dot book and Jon's playing around with it, and on the last two panels it's seen that Jon's drawing a detailed sketch of a demonic monstrous Garfield with a pentagram, and we see Gorefield himself on the last panel like "Connect the last dot, Jon.". There are so many of them I couldn't even list them here. I just love the idea of Jon being taken hostage and killed by someone he thought was just an ordinary cat but is actually a monstrous and possibly godlike creature.

One of my favourite, FAVOURITE works of Gorefield is Garfield Gameboy'd, a... series? of Gameboy inspired pixel art animations by Lumpy Touch that has Jon being ambushed by many horrific forms of Garfield, having to hide and use the resources he has available to him, and also involves Lyman, Odie, Nermal, Arlene and Liz in its plot. Jon encounters a cat-like beast that bites one of Jon's hands off, and shortly after this event, Jon sets fire to the house and it explodes. Jon survives, but so has Gorefield. Distant sirens go off as they stand before one another, and the world is about to end. The final nuke explodes, and all is over and gone. And yet, Gorefield reemerges, Jon kept safe and warm inside his flesh as he sprouts wings and flies up into the air, declaring Jon is what makes him complete... Complete armageddon, just as Lyman had predicted. Lyman appears out of a pipe in the ground and sits solemnly in the lake as everything around him burns. He is weak, pathetic, he couldn't save them, any of them. He calls out the names of Jon and Odie, the ones who were the closest to him, and with his strength and what I also assume to be radiation, he becomes ripped as fuck, transforming into a Dragon Ball Z character and possessing inhuman powers. "It won't be for nothing." He declares. "I'll make them pay."

... So yeah, this video is great! It's that perfect blend of horror, story and Garfield that I never knew I needed in my life. But there's also one small detail that I think really makes this as special as it is to me, and that's the end credits theme. It's so sad, so melancholy, so tragic. It's... beautiful.

Personally, I see it from Jon's perspective. Reflecting in that moment, standing before the beast he once knew as his cat with the echoed sounds of sirens going off of all the moments he's cherished with Garfield. Like layers of lasagna, his friendship and bond has run so far deep with Garfield, and even when the flavours are burning to the ground, the world is ending with the face of armageddon staring right into Jon's own and the page is taking a new turn, one that he possibly couldn't survive... He still sees Garfield as a friend. Even in this terrifying form that scares and instills fear into Jon to his very core, a form that constantly changes and adapts to its environment, a form that once tried to kill Jon and most likely still will try... Jon still wishes for Garfield to stay with him in the end, and bids him farewell as the world comes to a close, and it all fades away...

It's such a bittersweet end, and the after credits scene only makes it more so. And it just made me care about Gorefield so much more. I love its terrifyingly beautiful and exciting storyline. And that song really topped it off, with those sweet, somber lyrics and the solemn instrumental... The feeling is indescribable. I love this phenomenon, man.

That's all I really feel like saying right now. It's late, I'm most definitely going to fail film class and I'm not feeling good at all mentally, and I really need sleep... As usual, I welcome Jon Arbuckle into my awful mess of a brain with open arms and also welcome him into my dreams as well. Let's hope Gorefield doesn't catch up to ya, okay buddy? Stay safe Jon :)

Last edited at 9:49 pm

Wondering why entries 9 and 10 were skipped? Well, entry 9 is a currently unfinished entry. It contains a fanfic concept that is Gorefield related, but I never ended up finishing it unfortunately and I lost motivation for it. It may be redone or continued when my writing skills improve in the future. Entry 10 is just headcanons that, again, were also never finished. I apologise greatly for the inconvinience and I hope this isn't too disappointing. Fortunately, there shouldn't be any more entries that will be skipped after these ones.

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 21st of July, 2022 at 8:30 pm.