8 years later and i still havent forgotten you boy 😔

I think I sent an ask like this along time ago? IDK though.

The weird thing about Oz is that it feels like there was stuff they could have brought up if they wanted us to view him in a darker light that they just...dont

Like, that whole thing with Oz conquering the world with Salem and tricking people into worshipping them as gods. Yeah he eventually saw what he was doing was wrong, but that was after he and Salem had 4 kids. So for a long-ass time he was an imperialist god-king

Or the part where he nearly attacked Ruby once she asked Jinn the question.

It just...feels like those are totally things that should be discussed more. But instead they focus on a bunch of other things that are really weird to hold against Oz.

Like why focus on this you have way better things to hold against Oz right there.

That's very possible, anon! I don't know how many unanswered asks are sitting in this inbox now, but it's not a small number...

Totally agree. I think Oz gets criticized to an unfair degree by the canon and fandom alike (no one is shocked to hear this lol) but part of my issue is what he's criticized for, not just the extent. The show tends to take incredibly weird perspectives like, "How dare you give our uncle cool bird powers with no downside" and "How dare you save group members from a deadly airship crash." The fandom takes stances with larger political implications like, "How dare an abused man 'steal' his daughters away from the mother who wants to use them for a magical form of genocide" or issues that fundamentally break the core concept of the show: "How dare you let teenagers fight dangerous battles / How dare you reincarnate - something you have no control over - into a 14yo boy." The show does engage with some of Ozpin's morally complex choices with no easy answers like, "Is it okay to keep secrets if history has shown severe downsides to revealing that information?"... but then the answer the story decides on - "No it's not" - immediately doesn't apply to half the cast, with no examination of how that changes our perception of Ozpin's choice. And, as you say, the show simultaneously introduces HUGE mistakes - "You positioned yourself as a god! Then a king!!"- that the characters could absolutely mistrust him for... but they don't. Because they're too busy focusing on all of the above.

The only thing I'd push back against here is anyone being mad at Ozpin for "nearly attacking" Ruby. I'd consider that a highly unfair criticism as well given that:

We don't know if he would have attacked. He just charges with his and out-stretched, so Ozpin could just as likely have been intending to snatch the Relic

All these characters have aura and train/hit for funsies on a regular basis. It feels like a stretch - one working to paint Ozpin in an unfair light - to act like Ruby taking a hit is suddenly some horrific event that's worthy getting up-in-arms about

In this same scene the girls pull their weapons on Qrow and Oscar - someone WITHOUT that training/fully unlocked aura - gets punched into a tree. Again, consistent morality. Why is Ozpin in the wrong for charging with an open hand (ambiguous) but the girls are justified in pulling their weapons (clear intent)? Why should Super Fighter Ruby be defended for taking a hit after forcibly stealing secrets from Ozpin, but we should shrug off the newbie farm kid taking a hit for the "sin" of being an unwitting, passive vessel?

Plus... as said above, "forcibly stealing secrets." I'm not saying Ozpin is 100% justified in attacking Ruby over this, but I think he's a HELL of a lot more justified compared to actions like threatening Qrow or attacking Oscar. Ruby ignored his requests to give the Relic back; she ignored how terrified he clearly was. She wasted a wish (which Ozpin knew would happen). She revealed his entire, traumatic history to the group PLUS a total stranger (Maria) which, again, Ozpin knew would happen. Of course he tried to stop her. We will never know what lengths he would have gone to, whether he would have truly fought Ruby or just made a last minute grab, but even if he had fought her... It think that's understandable. We can argue about whether it's right, but it's not the sort of thing the heroes should be holding against him once tempers have cooled, especially when he has stuff like playing God that they have hold as a long term grudge.

Out of everything Ozpin has done, maybe being willing to fight the prodigy fighter to keep her from making one of the stupidest decisions we've seen in the show to date is pretty low on the sin list.

Neon Genesis Evangelion Ep 1 "Angel Attack" -> Review/analysis ^_^

i want to start off by saying nge is probably my favorite show of all time. however, it can be hard to understand, especially near the end, so i would like to offer some guidance/commentary on it! but my main point in writing these is to share my thoughts on characters' complexities, parallels, and symbolism!! there will be spoilers for the show, as my writing's intended audience is people who have already seen it.

in my opinion, "angel attack" has to be one of the best first episodes ever. it sucks the viewer right in, sending them straight to a futuristic tokyo: buildings are sinking, the city seems to be empty, and there's a giant alien of course. several clips are shown of scenes from the around the city, they introduce the setting but also feel quite eerie to me as they are paired with an emergency broadcast.

and then our protagonist, shinji ikari, is introduced. he's trying to get ahold of his father's organization, as he's been dumped into the middle of a disaster with an angel on the loose. shinji gets no response, which is our first little example that neither nerv or shinji's father care very much about his safety. then misato katsuragi pulls up in a bright blue sports car and whisks shinji away, saving him from an explosion caused by the government fighting with the angel.

misato drives away with shinji, and when they're a good distance away she stops her car and pulls out her binoculars to observe the angel. despite the dangerous situation, misato is curious. after all, humanity hasn't seen an angel for 15 years, and the appearance of one is even more important for misato as this is the first of the creatures she's vowed to destroy. and then...

yup, the government sets off a bomb. incredibly dangerous, and it nearly kills shinji and misato. another example of the government's disregard for peoples' safety (though civilians are supposed to be evacuated by now). the responses from civilians and the government to the angel could represent humans' primal reactions to danger: fight or flight. people run away and hide, and the government gets ready to attack. this could also represent humans' reactions to problems: face them head on, or avoid them (escapism, which is a HUGE theme in nge). or it could represent literally nothing.

the land mine doesn't do anything, so nerv is permitted to use their 'special weapon' which we find out shortly... mwahahaha. misato somehow manages to patch up her car with some stolen batteries, and starts driving back to nerv. shinji is pretty skeptical about it all, which leads misato to call him a hard-ass, to which shinji (fairly) calls her childish. in a very shinji way:

once they arrive at nerv, misato asks shinji if he knows what his dad does here. shinji does not:

he's disconnected from his father, he knows very little about him, he feels uneasy about being invited to nerv yet he goes. he goes because a) shinji is a people pleaser to avoid additional problems for himself b) he is a 14yo boy, he yearns for his father's approval whether he'll admit it or not. this little comment here is one of the first hints that shinji and gendo don't have a good relationship.

once inside nerv, misato is lost (another example of her immaturity) and pages ritsuko to help her find her way. as soon as ritsuko is introduced, the viewer can see that she and misato contrast each other: misato is extroverted and bubbly while ritsuko is more quiet and reserved. but they seem to know each other, and ritsuko pokes fun at misato for not knowing her way around.

and here comes my favorite scene from the episode! ritsuko, misato, and shinji board an elevator-type-thingy, and have a conversation about the odds of unit 1 working:

misato: is that thing really going to work? it hasn't worked once, right? ritsuko: the odds of a successful activation are 0.000000001%. misato: doesn't that mean it won't work? ritsuko: don't be rude. it's not 0%.

this conversation obviously sticks with misato, as throughout the series she creates some pretty wild plans to defeat the angels, and when met with "hey how is that possibly going to work" she replies with something along the lines of "well that chances of success aren't 0". also, these shots are super cool with the silhouettes and the eva's hand reaching out menacingly. it's important to note that throughout misato and ritsuko's conversation (which if i overheard it would definitely make me a bit concerned) and while an evil looking hand looms in the background, shinji isn't paying attention at all, he's ignoring any potential problems ... smells like escapism.

after this, shinji meets unit 1 and it's revealed that the reason he was called here by gendo was to pilot the eva. shinji had expected that his father only wanted to see him because he needed him for something, but he certainly didn't expect it would be for something this big or scary. unsurprisingly, shinji refuses to pilot unit 1. many will call this a sign of cowardice, but i actually think it was pretty brave of shinji. he's in a room surrounded by adults (including his father) who want something absurd from him and he has the guts to say no. go shinji! not being a people pleaser!

misato tries to convince him to pilot by delivering this line that pretty much sums up shinji's internal conflict. but he's not so swayed by this. he's got his mind made up until he sees rei ayanami being rushed down in a hospital bead so she can pilot the eva. she looks sickly and she's covered in bandages. shinji defies his father, but once he realizes that gendo's going to put that poor girl in the robot he decides he'll do it. he's piloting it for rei's sake, not gendo's. this was also a pretty brave decision from shinji, and certainly a selfless one.

so shinji gets in the robot. he's scared and overwhelmed, but he'll do it. he mutters to himself "don't run away", echoing misato. unit 1 is sent up to fight the angel, and it looks rather menacing and very similar to the monster it's trying to fight:

and so the episode ends!!! dundundunnnnnn what's gonna happen to shinji? stay tuned to find out.

this first angel is named sachiel, so i tried to do a little research on where this name comes from. some consider sachiel to be an archangel, and others a cherubim angel. apparently the essenes, an early mystic jewish sect, thought sachiel to be 'the angel of water'. in nge, sachiel is seen swimming through flooded tokyo. there's lots of debate over how much christian imagery and symbolism in nge is any more than surface deep so who knows if any of this means anything but i think it's still fun and worthwhile to look into it.

Thoughts about the FL thing, sans money now.

So that one friend who moved to Cali FINALLY texted me. I can't blame her at all for taking that time. It was hectic. Basically suddenly finding your existence illegal and the fact that she was in an accepting household could risk her mom losing her youngest kid. Like FL is fucked up and I'm glad she's safe now. And then me saying that I'm moving back to FL soon and she's just instant panic. Instantly worried about me. Telling me that if i go, i shouldn't come out. I shouldn't continue with that at all. Put the gender fuckery on hold. I think she even offered to help me out to Cali also once she's got her own place out there. Honestly, sounds pretty nice. I mean, the guy I've been talking with for all this time and basically have a long distance, soon to be short distance, relationship with has been listening to everything I've been saying about FL and iirc, Cali is actually a state where his insulin might come cheaper and easier. We've literally been talking about taking our time in town, getting money, saving money, and leaving the state, perhaps even the country. Like, he needs a place with socialized healthcare so he doesn't have a pricetag on his life and i need a place where i can literally be myself. And that place sure isn't FL.

Jeez, going back to FL in this political climate is so damn terrifying but i can't stay here. I'm losing my mind here. I'm stuck in a tiny ass place with too much stuff to fit into my damn 6x8 ft room that has 0 air flow, with a 14yo who acts like she's 7 (she's mentally okay, she's just immature and won't grow. like you give her advice and she starts guilting you about how she's not perfect). I've got my dad who i haven't been with for longer than a month since i was 8, who can't get anything done without at least a month of procrastination. We're all broke. There's planes and trains and trucks that shake the whole trailer every hour 24/7. It's not walkable. Hell, it's hardly drivable with all those axle-breaking potholes and blind intersections. There are even air quality warnings like once a week. And that's not about the smokescreen over the northeast. That's just what it's Like Here. Our water is brown like once a month. I swear like three water mains leading to our area burst since January. There are even shootings basically once a week within five miles of here. I hear guns firing constantly at like 2am like clockwork. I'm broke. I can't deal with it here. The payments needed to keep a car legal are higher in this state than most others. (including mandatory inspections? That YOU pay for??) What the fuck even is this city?

At least in FL, i know the town well. I know the people. I know the roads. It's kept nice because it's a damn tourist trap. Not some still-segregated urban sprawl. Sure, there's annoying rednecks there and snowbirds who act like they own the place, but you're less likely to get shot going to the gas station or break your car's entire front axle after not swerving around the wrong pothole so you don't get hit head-on by a tanker. Sure, I'm going to be terrified to be as gnc as i am. But what's another couple years in the closet, right? right? 🙃 Just have to keep my job, keep that guy close so I seem straight/cis passing, and hold my tongue in public. And maybe not look queer to an emt if something bad happens. Suck up dysphoria for a while and actually wear form-fitting clothes so nobody will try anything.

Holy fuck the entire southeast is so fucked up. Why do i have to be stuck here?

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

So I watched an anime called “Violet Evergarden” recently, the elevator pitch of which is basically “feral girl is taken in by military man, turned into a child soldier, military man dies, but not before telling her ‘I love you’, but she doesn’t know what that means, so after the war she becomes a ghostwriter with the ostensible aim of figuring out what ‘I love you’ means through other people’s expressions of love via letter-writing.

It’s a good little concept, and while I enjoyed it, it’s also stuck in my brain as being profoundly odd from a storytelling perspective.

Like, the initial premise is v strong, Violet’s driving objective is to understand the last thing she heard her father figure, “The Major”, say to her before she blacked out and woke up with no arms. She was a feral orphan child with little grasp of language or expression, and so she is burdened with not understanding what this very important person to her was trying to convey before they parted ways. Good shit.

And it seems to carry this fairly well at first. Each episode varies in how much it advances the central plot, but each boils down to Violet having to learn a lesson about how people express their feelings for each other, how they express love through words, or how they fail to do so, and so slowly she goes from only being able to produce very precise and terse letters which read more like military reports, to being able to swoop in and fix people’s interpersonal problems with the power of a well-dictated love note.

Where it kinda falls apart for me is about halfway through the series, where we see that Violet has more or less grown into her role as protagonist in an anime about the power of letter writing and the meaning of love (-ish). She’s gotten so good she’s tasked with facilitating one half of a romantic correspondence between the nobles of two nations whose relations are still tense after The War (which Violet fought in), and so have decided to arrange a marriage between their noble children -- a 14-year old girl and a 24-year old man.

Now up to that point, the messaging around the central theme felt odd, but it made sense, like, Violet is growing to understand love, and so how the show does this is by giving her a lot of weird and fraught situations around that theme: we have a woman who is in love with a man, but she wants to play hard to get which Violet ruins by writing a letter that just directly states ‘I have no feelings for you, please stop calling on me’. So then she goes to letter-writing school where one of her classmates has an alcoholic brother who she wants to express her love and thanks towards, but doesn’t know how to pierce the barrier of grief surrounding him due to the death of their parents in The War. 

It keeps on like this p consistently, the central question “What is love? What does someone mean when they say ‘I love you’?” is addressed fairly cleanly, but then, once the issue of Violet’s struggle with being able to convey people’s emotions becomes effectively resolved, we kinda start to leave the rails!

Back to the mid-point episode, so, through trying to properly convey this 14yo princess’ feelings, Violet learns what her true feelings are. No, it’s not that she is discontent with being forced to marry a man ten years older than her because, you see, they already secretly met at a royal party when she was, like...10?? And he found her crying and was, like, “Hey kid, you okay?” and that was the first genuine expression of human emotion outside of her dutiful maid she’d ever gotten. You see, what her discontent is is that she knows the man she met, with a heart so simple and pure he feels compelled to comfort a crying child, would never write these letters, and so Violet conspires with the prince’s ghostwriter to allow them to have a more honest correspondence (which is then reprinted in all the newspapers around both countries.)

What got me about this episode is how it, like, throws all these different narrative threads in the air around this central theme of “What is love?” -- the concept of arranged marriage, the idea of confusing appreciating someone’s kindness for having other feelings for them, the MAID who is, like, the princess’ closest friend and confidant, but who has to explain that, once she’s married off, they will have to part ways because she doesn’t serve the princess, she serves the royal family and there’s this great scene where the princess is weeping after she says that and the maid is like “I cannot accept that command, I will continue standing here right by your side” and it’s really intense!

But then...it all gets dropped in the interest of the final note being...yeah sometimes you have to marry a guy in his twenties when you’re just a teenager, but love’s just funny like that ig!

Which sounds ungenerous, and like, I wanted that to be the case, I wanted it to be setting up something, like, “Despite Violet gaining proficiency in letter writing, she still is struggling to understand the more nuanced dimensions of love and so her shortsightedness will come back round to bite her in the ass” (it does not, we even get a montage of all the people she’s helped including the newly married royal couple smiling happily at the camera.) 

We then get more episodes like this, where Violet’s done learning about Love and is now in effect teaching it to others. She does this by...sitting and looking pretty with a guy while they wait for a comet to go by, imitating a playwright’s dead daughter so he can be inspired to finish his play, and...writing a bunch of letters on behalf of a mother dying from anime mom disease, but who wants to be able to speak to her daughter as she grows up through a series of pre-written birthday letters.

And, like, in isolation, it’s all very moving! Each story has a very touching emotional drive to it, but it seems like the question of “What does ‘I love you’ mean?” p much falls to the wayside, even after we get the big 3/4s of the way through reveal that the Major is dead and Violet didn’t know! So we’re treated to flashbacks of their relationship, including the moment where he repeats that damning phrase!

But then we really don’t pick it back up again? It kinda superficially grows in relevance as we approach the conclusion, but it’s never again properly addressed until after a sudden spat of military drama breaks out with people trying to reignite The War and Violet suddenly having to put down her typewriter and pick up her combat knife, but now, for some reason, she refuses to kill people because...she isn’t just a tool?

And I think this is what ultimately frustrated me, is that those are two great themes “Discovering what it means to love” and “Can a person conditioned to fulfill a specific purpose ever be free to choose their own path?” but the problem is, the series really has centered itself on the former while kinda sorta implying the latter, but in the final scenes, we are suddenly given a resolution to the latter (which is basically Metal Gear Solid, “You are not your DNA”, “Just live Snake” that’s been done beautifully and with more thought already by, well, Metal Gear Solid) whereas the former, what was the entire driving force behind Violet’s character development is kinda sorta hand-waved off as “What is love? I still don’t think I know, but maybe that’s just how it is!” which is fucked up coming from someone who by the midway point is basically counselling or facilitating love between people!

So, like, I enjoyed it a lot, there were some great moments and the supporting cast, while mostly one-dimensional save for Violet herself, made for at least nice scenery, but I’m just so blown away by how they seemed to manage to forget (or ceased wanting) to tell the story they laid out in the beginning in favor of some p uniform military drama that suffered precisely because most of the series was dedicated to developing the central theme that it ultimately seemed to abandon, or perhaps came across as being burdened with having to carry into the conclusion.

Also it was super fixated on dads, like, The Major is basically Violet’s dad, his best buddy who goes on to hire Violet as a ghostwriter has a big reveal in the end that he’s been writing letters to his hypothetical future child, the sad dad playwright with the dead daughter -- I dunno what to do with all this besides the usual base level of suspicion I have for all dead-heavy content, but yeah!

There’s two movies, a side story from mid-way through the series and a sequel, and I feel like I almost have to watch them at some point, just so I can tie a neater bow on how I experienced this whole story, but yeah, Violet Evergarden, come for the cool metal typing hands, stay for the heartfelt explorations of what it means to love people, shift nervously in your seat when dads suddenly become involved!