I need Aziraphale learning very quickly that being kind and considerate gets him nowhere in Heaven, so he tucks away his goofy, big-hearted nature and just turns into a maliciously compliant Bitch™.
This is a man who canonically has "discouraged" multiple mobster groups threatening to burn his bookshop, who has successfully scared hundreds of customers away by being just unpleasant enough and who dropped down three octaves to correct Furfur when he messed up his name.
He swallows his pride, puts on a power suit and starts executing a Corporate Nightmare upon upper management in Heaven.
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Prompt 266
Back on my Danny & Ras frienemies/rivals/maybe-lovers-nobody-can-tell-their-signals-are-very-mixed train.
See, Danny has gone through time a lot. Often. It comes with being Clockwork’s charge-son-thing and honestly he finds it fun. And several times he’s used this time travelling to get some training in. Enter Ras, stage left, also a teen at the time and also learning swordsmanship from the same person.
And they… utterly despise each other. They would kill the other for an apple slice, if the other one would die! But also, only they can kill the other, as it is obviously their right!
And well, they keep running into each other. It has been a hundred years, surely the other would die by now? But of course their rival would live through utter spite. Probably to spite them specifically.
The amount of times they have ended up sparring- trying to kill each other or not- the moment they see the other is actually ridiculous. But time is also passing. And… Danny understands, not having another to talk about things people are forgetting, or have already forgotten.
How they ended up actually talking without a murder attempt was a long story that included a demon, a dragon, a pair of fae, some bandits, and a lot of alcohol, but it happened. And then it happens again. And again, and now it’s just kind of normal to share a drink after their spars, talking about things that no longer exist, and things they miss.
Sure Danny can go back in time again, but he knows better than to do it willy nilly. He’s matured, he’s been an adult for a hundred years now, he knows there’s consequences for messing with time, even with Clockwork’s blessings.
The first time they got married was technically for an undercover assassination. Well, Ras was there to assassinate someone, Danny was there to grab an artifact that should Not be in the realm of the living. And they got divorced after, it was fine.
They just, also got married again when they met a few years later, for another job. And… okay, so maybe they have gotten married over a dozen times now and only divorced like half of those times. Half of those were for the bit or while drunk!
And even if technically they’re married or shared a bed, it’s not like they're exclusive! As Ras’ daughters’ existences attest to (adopted in one case or not). They don’t exactly have a label for their relationship, despite others asking for one or trying to put a name to it themselves.
Now Danny knows Ras isn’t exactly a good dude, or at least on the side of ‘good’ as he’s a literal assassin. But he also knows that good? Bad? Rather relative. He had gotten labeled as a villain when he was just trying to help all that time ago after all, and really who was he to tell someone else how to live their life?
Which brings him to now, where he’s run into his old frienemy-rival and his youngest daughter. Who has a braindead teenager and a small toddler. Which is fine, really- but also, Talia dear, why are you using a brain dead teenager to guard your three year old son?
…
Okay, Talia dear, Ras (Derogatory), why are you using your brain dead son and grandson to guard your younger son and grandson? Do you not have the Pits, which you were soo proud about Ras? Yes, he will spar with you, but for Realms’ sake, heal, what’s his name? Ah yes, go heal Jason and he’ll actually stick around for a few years, deal? Good.
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The correct meaning
Danny didn't know that the first thing he would do when he retired from being a hero would be to open a flower shop, but he found that flowers brought him peace. Maybe it had something to do with commemorating the dead, or with his lack of a headstone, but flowers were soothing.
Ghosts never messed with them, they were almost sacred in the Infinite Realms, and with the help of his friends he researched the meaning of all of them. Besides carrying a small dictionary because he didn't have a photographic memory.
Unfortunately, he couldn't open his flower shop in Amity, his parents made the whole thing very awkward and he didn't know if he would be able to make a bouquet that would go to that cemetery, a cemetery where he didn't belong.
So he opened his store in Gotham, where his sister was staying. He bought a small place and went about tending to his plants. He tended to anyone and gave them a little bouquet depending on what he saw in them. Ivy seemed delighted.
Jason didn't know what to think of hid bouquet with orange lilies, lavender, hyacinths and gardenias. It was certainly an odd combination, and he didn't know why the florist looked so determined to give him the bouquet, but he accepted it, the boy looked happy about it before going back to work.
A week later he gave him a different bouquet, and Jason wondered if he was going crazy, was the florist flirting with him or had he read too many books?
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The interpretation of Rise Raph as a 'perfect responsible soft boy uwu' is so BORING I'm sorry, Raph is a rowdy adrenaline junkie with anxiety and I won't take this slander any longer
Raph secretly kept an enemy soldier in their actual literal house as a sparring partner. Raph glued his brothers together and dragged them out to fight crime. Raph once asked Leo to punch him in the face to prove he 'takes damage like a boss.' Raph tried to lift a school bus, twice. Raph offered to help his favorite wrestler beat his little brother up. When Leo suggests evacuating Bullhop, Raph says no bc the best defense is a good offense babey. Raph's idea of a 'friendly chat' with April's upstairs neighbor is to put on a black ski mask and go stand menacingly at their door. It takes Raph 10 episodes to conclude that they should MAYBE start training. Raph's plan to get a potentially priceless (and potentially FRAGILE) museum artifact is to punch a car in the middle of a busy street and also cut it in half with his brother still inside.
Raph's never met a problem he wouldn't try to punch in the face and does not know the meaning of the words 'excessive force.' He roughhouses with his bros and drags them out to fight villains and thinks any plan that doesn't involve an all-out brawl is boring and lame. He'll do anything to protect his family from harm and be a hero, but also he eats wet salami off the floor and once single-handedly destroyed a library.
I just adore how, at his core, Rise Raph is such a classic Raph—impulsive and stubborn and caring and passionate. He is a very sweet, strong, honorable guy who has a very powerful sense of personal responsibility... and he is also the exact kind of jock who throws you in the pool at a party without checking if you have your phone in your pocket first.
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I think about Leo’s “I’m your least favorite” comment to Splinter in “Down with the Sickness” a lot. It’s likely just a throwaway comment, a way to get Splinter to leave him alone before Leo gets sick too, but I can’t help but wonder if Leo believes it on some level.
Obviously it’s not true, Splinter loves him as much as he loves the others, but…it wouldn’t be shocking if Leo believed otherwise. After all, just in “Many Unhappy Returns” alone, Splinter has, with no hesitation, said comments like “my other sons would have taken this seriously” and “I knew I should’ve brought purple”, said “no” to Leo’s “I love you”, and pretty blatantly didn’t extend any trust in Leo’s plan even after Leo was fairly effortlessly defeating their opponents.
It was only after, when they’d already won, that Splinter finally gives him a “it was all you my son!” And…that’s basically it. Raph is the one who announces his trust in Leo. Not their father, even though Splinter is the one to witness Leo lowering his walls for once (which Splinter doesn’t react well too, because Leo only lowers his walls in the most hectic of times, and because he lowers them only then, either no one is around or no one is in the right state of mind to respond properly, leading to Leo building his walls back up, and the cycle continues.)
Again, it’s not because Splinter doesn’t love Leo, but Leo…can’t be feeling too good about all that. The way he never reacted surprised about any of Splinter’s words too…
He may know that Splinter loves them all, as a group, but individually…I don’t think Leo believes he ranks all that high with that love. Gives another meaning to “I’m nothing without my brothers” huh?
(Of course, I’m willing to bet the invasion changed that understanding, but with that comes the potential misunderstanding that his father’s outright love is tied to Leo sacrificing himself.)
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Prompt 199
“Where the fuck are my legs?”
Danny wasn’t happy. It wasn’t funny! Usually he just had a ghost tail when flying really fast, like super speed, not all the time! It’s not funny Clockwork, you’re used to having a tail, he isn’t!
What do you mean it’s permanent?! He needs his legs! Clockwork!! He wouldn’t have agreed to the adoption if he knew he’d lose his legs!
…Okay, that was a lie, Clockwork was a great parent who encouraged his chaos and enjoyed screwing over assholes like the Observants. But still! He looks like some sort of snake person now! No he doesn’t want a nap, he’s not a baby!
Clockwork, why are you being quiet? He’s not a baby! He’s not a baby, right? What do you mean all ghosts are babies until they’re a hundred years dead!? But he’s a halfa- what do you mean it takes longer for Ancients?!
No he doesn’t want that nap, he’s having a midlife crisis here several years too early!
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Winter in Spring
Danny was not a spirit of the seasons, he didn't have any idea if those kinds of spirits existed out of movies, what he did know was that for some reason the flowers were behaving rather strangely in one particular dimension right at the beginning of spring. And although he certainly didn't want to affect the place he knew he had to investigate it.
From what it seemed: strange plants that glowed just like those born in the Infinite Realms were appearing in Gotham and coming to life on their own. At first he suspected Undergrowth but the Ancient was offended by the accusation and commented that he was too busy in his haunt to care about a random city. Which turned out to be true.
Then he thought that maybe it was fine: the bright flowers seemed harmless (although they were very very...alive?) and didn't hurt anyone. That was until a red-haired girl seemed to upset them and they started attacking everyone around them; unfortunately, because they were ghost flowers they could dodge attacks very easily and the "heroes" couldn't defend themselves.
So, with no other options Danny traveled to Gotham and well, to put it simply he became a fake winter spirit; what else was he supposed to do? He needed an alibi and to spread ice as quickly as possible. Telling Gothamites that winter was coming early because of him was the least of his problems.
What he didn't expect was that after turning the city into a wasteland of ice and snow (and saving them from the invasion of ghost flowers, you're welcome), some guys in bat suits would start following him around with questions. He also didn't expect one of them to stare at him and ask if he'd be back in winter, he wondered if faking his identity was a good idea.
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