#he just doesnt want her to experience that pain again. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dballzposting · 4 months

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Was thinking again about the bizarre scenario that this post ended with in which Trunks has an ex-girlfriend drop a baby at his doorstep and Goten steps in to help him deal with this. Well I have more to say abt it .....

I think a lot these days about the nature of health and humanity so that's why I shoehorn dragon ball characters into such trying yet domestic situations. Sorry

READ ON TO DISCOVER TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SON GOTEN & TRUNKS BRIEFS NAVIGATING THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION....TOGETHER!!!!

Well first of all the way that the infant's mother does not ask for money or resources, even though Trunks is rich, is sort of what dictates Trunks and Goten's decisions about this. Trunks's first impulse is to Give It Back or Give It Away but Goten is first and foremost stricken by how this mother only wanted to abdicate the responsibility altogether, and all privileges therein. It honestly fucks with his head a bit.

I don't know if this will make sense and I'm just spit-balling here but: Goten was raised by Chichi who freely expresses (and weaponizes..) her strong emotions, and most of her emotions have something to do with the importance of family and motherhood to her. And since she is This Way, Goten grew up feeling that these sorts of matters are to be revered or honored or most astutely FEARED, becasue his mother had a poor tolerance for her feelings and behaved as if they were All So Dire, and so that's the impression that Goten got.

Because of the other people in his life and the prevailing mindsets and his own experiences and training, Goten has minimal experience with being emotionally-stunted or fearful of his own feelings; but that initial impression of DIRENESS that he got from his mother is not wholly removed from him, and it has been repurposed into "Oh, it's just the emotions around motherhood that are dire like that." Because those are the emotions that he has not had himself and so has had no re-contextualizing experience with to teach him that they are tolerable like the rest of life.

He knows by now that his mother is batshit crazy but also, when he turns to the world, he does receive the same input that "actually motherhood and child-rearing are very important and delicate things" so he just carries on like "Okay, so it really must be that dire to experience. Okay."

His perception isn't ... WRONG, and a respect for motherhood is a respect for humanity, but his understanding does involve that core of emotional violence from his mother, and that part isn't necessarily universal or beneficial. But like honestly that can be ironed out. He's honestly fine to keep it, even. Like it's close enough

So: When Trunks calls Goten in an anxious fit and says around the sounds of a baby crying that SOMEBODY HAS DROPPED AN INFANT ON THE DOORSTEP OF HIS PERSONAL HOME-AWAY-FROM-HOME IN THE METRO-WEST-SUBURBIA-INTERSECTION and that THE DAMN THING HAS HIS EYES and he DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO, well... OBVIOUSLY Goten heads over there as fast as the wind. And as they try to discuss What To Do, Goten is really disturbed that ... a mother could do this?

....He didn't know that that was within the range of options for a mother.

Trunks doesn't understand it either, but moreso from the perspective of "I am BUSY and have 0 experience with CHILDREN so WHY would ANYONE think to DO THIS TO ME..?"

There is a lot to unravel here from Goten's POV: Trunks, why weren't you more careful? Trunks, weren't you also a bastard child? Trunks, aren't you rich, is this really a problem? Trunks, she's not even asking for child support money, doesn't that tell you something about the practical likelihood of this mother being in this child's life? I can't understand how a mother could do this. I cannot fathom the pain she is in, should I be crying about it on her behalf? I don't know if she knows her limitations and is being responsible, or if she is immature and we should be angry with her. Trunks, can't you see that this isn't necessarily about blame or fault, but about the morbidly-misplaced infant who is currently undergoing more emotional pain than any infant should?

I think of Goten as being really emotionally intelligent becasue of his lifestyle and becasue of his nature and becasue Thats What I Want To See And Write About Right Now Just Personally .... So he has the wisdom to know that all of his vexation is just GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT. He has the grace to allow himself however long it will take to subtly work out the perplexment and inner knots. He doesn't need to know everything right now. Becasue right now he has a fucking job to do.

JOB #1: HOSE DOWN TRUNKS

Goten is a real one and he and Trunks are Ride or Die TO THE MAX. Goten hears the slightest edge of nerves in Trunks's voice and he is THERE. He doesn't even think about it. He just assumes the responsibility of compassion becasue that's just what they do for each other. Goten is a very good friend

Trunks is obviously freaking out hardcore, and even though Goten is 100% ready to make this his own problem too, he still allows himself the courtesy of being removed enough to Keep His Head On Straight. He can offer the clarity of an outside perspective and the support of compassion which is exactly why Trunks called him first before calling anyone else. Goten breaks it down pretty simply.

The mother has behaved extremely in order to remove herself from the picture; she is no longer a player. You cannot rely or fallback on her. Forget about her.

You have money and resources, so stop panicking.

You can't keep this a secret from your family forever, but if you need some time, you have enough room and food and money here to get by alright without them for a short while; it's just the issue of needing a caretaker.

We don't need to involve a third party right this second, I'm here and available to help sort this out while we settle into the situation and figure out a best course of action.

This is your problem but don't think of it that way; it's much more a problem for the baby than it is for you. This is life and death for it. You and I can both respect the severity of that.

You can give it away if you want but you know that that won't last long, at some point this child will need to know the context for its Saiyan blood.

You're my best friend and I have no other obligations in my life right now; if you can't miss work then I will stay here and help figure this out. This is your child, and whether or not that matters to you is ultimately up to you, but I think that family matters, and I think that the needs of this random infant is bigger than whatever we have going on in our lives. I know that we can spare the few weeks or months it will take for us to set up a functioning game plan.

So they agree to forget about the mother as a player and potential helper; to avoid involving Trunks's family yet (Trunks's wish); and that even though this is so sudden and they are so unprepared, whatever they feel about it has to go on the back-burner for now because the needs of the situation persists no matter how they feel about it.

JOB #2: DEAL WITH THE BABY?

It would be very wise to involve an experienced caretaker right now. Even just calling up Videl and Gohan would be helpful.

Goten wants to do that, but he also doesn't want to argue with Trunks about it right now. Necessity calls, and the first few days are Goten handling the baby and telling Trunks to Calm Down and Get Some Rest and Go To Work and Act Natural and Clear Your Head and We Can Regroup In A Few Days. Ultimately if Trunks continues to feel violated then this may blow up further, so Goten respects his wishes for secrecy IN THE MEANTIME. He is fully planning on revisiting that later, because, NECESSITY CALLS, and what do THESE TWO KNUCKLEHEADS know about dealing with babies?

Well, Goten was a well-loved baby himself, and is necessarily intimate with his own inner sensations of vitality by virtue of his warrior status, and so he takes to the task intuitively, honestly. He quickly busies himself with cultivating a sense of safety and comfort for the baby, he pays very close attention to its feelings and internal states, he projects a presence of serenity and grace ...

This soothes Trunks, too, who actually listens when after the first hectic day Goten tells him to "go get some rest."

Trunks takes the opportunity to leave and sleep readily - this is all just so fucked to him. Goten is able to remain peaceful even while trying to calm a baby who is Not At All Accepting The Efforts right now, and the sight disturbed Trunks. That's his best friend who used to play in dumpsters with him. What is he doing being a better parent to Trunks's child than Trunks is? This shouldn't be happening to either of them. This isn't who they are. This is so fucked.

So he sleeps it off and goes to work and he comes home and Goten has in that time turned the house into the friendliest space he could cobblefuck/conjure. He has acquired milk formula and pacifiers, a crib, diapers, anything he could remember seeing around when Pan was born. He is wearing an apron and has started dinner but is currently sitting down and holding the baby and trying to soothe it, becasue all day he has been trying to soothe it, because it has been separated from its mother and it has been refusing to eat, and Goten has now committed to being a constant presence of warmth and serenity so that eventually the baby will accept his help. Goten "knows nothing about babies" supposedly but he knows VERY MUCH about what it feels like to be a human/Saiyan, and to be so small and dependent, so he is applying all the wisdom and discipline he's learned over his life.

He sees all the missteps and faults and voids of knowledge, but Trunks sees behavior that is far better than what he was putting out there initially. Goten is sympathetic but remaining unaffected by the violent anxiety that the baby is expressing, because he knows that if he gets worried and tense, then he will no longer be a safe container for the baby's pain like he is trying to be. He knows that this is very difficult for it, and he knows that this wound may leave an emotional scar, and he knows that it won't accept Goten as a caretaker until it's ready to, and in the meantime Goten is just trying to prove himself and rock the baby in his arms to facilitate what he hopes is a progression toward a feeling of safety and the prospect of regulation.

He is the only fratboy in the entire universe who could try to pull this off because he is one of the better warriors in the universe, and physical training and discipline IS emotional training because all the organism is one being. Also he is very respectful of the human condition and of motherhood in general, so it was never a question of IF he could commit himself to the task, but of HOW SOON he can move in.

And Trunks feels awful for thrusting this problem upon his BFF like this but he also feels a myriad of other things like Fear and Stress and Shame and Violation and an indecision around whether or not to Accept & Bond with this child and Indecision about Everything and ultimately an Exhaustion, so he just. Lets Goten's calm demeanor make everything okay.

Oooookay. So.

This just sort of goes on like this for a short while.

Goten becomes completely invested in his new responsibility. It's superficially comical; a fratboy with the freshest fade and biggest muscles, wearing an apron and feeding a baby from a bottle. The want to call Gohan or Videl or Chichi or Bulma or any qualified caretaker has gone unattended. the given reason is that, well, maybe it's not time to yet. The real reason is a mix of apprehension, a desire for quiet, and the good old classic Saiyan impulse of "Hey, wait, maybe I could do this myself, just gimme a minute - let me self-improve, hold on, I think I'm learning, I almost got it, just give me a minute." It seems irresponsible, but Goten is at the point where he really feels like involving more adults into the baby's life may just confuse and stress it, and it's not like there is anybody else who could magically heal the severed bond that the baby had with its mother.

Trunks oscillates as he processes: he is sometimes relieved to have Goten, sometimes disgusted, sometimes ready to call in reinforcements, sometimes ready to jump ship entirely. He sometimes makes dinner and sometimes watches Goten do it with a baby on his hip. Sometimes Trunks never comes home and stays at Capsule Corp for a night or two. He goes to work every day and takes showers that never feel long enough. Sometimes he escapes to meditate or train alone, but the clarity and peace is disturbed when he comes home to a distraught baby who never giggles and who has his eyes.

Trunks is sometimes mature about this and sometimes not. At once when he would impetuously demand to at least hold his child ("if this is SUCH a big deal and I HAVE to keep it, after all-"), Goten would respond simply and assertively with "OUR baby."

Now, though, a few long months in, when Trunks extends the effort of patience and grace of tolerance to hold his baby, Goten genuinely hesitates. He looks fretful and doesn't budge. Trunks thought that he had been a bit more respectful in his request this time - after all, it was a request, not a demand - but he senses from Goten's response that maybe he was still too immature, still unrealistic about what he could handle and what he could not. But, need this be a big deal, I mean - it's his, isn't it? Is it a big fucking deal for him to just HOLD it? What is he missing, here?

when Goten speaks, it's like how one whispers softly in a library, and Trunks feels slighted at being indirectly asked to watch his volume in his own home. He feels like he's being shamed, and he rejects this, becasue - is this REALLY a big deal, or is Goten just getting too deep into this and being dramatic?

But Goten tells him that hey, this baby is REALLY sensitive. Sure, it eats now, and clings to Goten like a baby should, but it seems to constantly rely on that presence, and it is easily disquieted, and it takes a lot of rocking to put it to sleep. Goten feels like he's put a lot of work in, and that the baby has come a long way to learn to seek out Goten's face and arms for comfort, but it is not yet wholly trusting, and it cries more than it smiles.

So Trunks sits on the couch next to him and tries to mirror the peacefulness that Goten is always putting out, but he is anxious inside, and that comes through. Goten carefully moves to pass the baby over to Trunks, and he moves slowly, and he tells the baby what's going on in a pleasant tone, and the baby furrows its brow, and Trunks recognizes it as an expression of his own, and he tries to gently take the baby into his arms, and his guts tighten when he hears Goten tell the baby "this is your father," and Trunks lets the baby look at him, and he tries to hold it right and quell the trembling of his nerves, and he gently rocks it at Goten's prompting. And the baby looks confused and sort of upset. And then really upset. And then it turns to look for Goten and reach out to him. And Goten is always careful to be responsive to this baby and so he knew that it was upset to go into the arms of the clearly-stressed-out-and-therefore-unsafe Trunks, and he knew to standby and be ready to take it back at any second. And this he does so. And Trunks stands up and leaves the house. Just fully walks out the front door

Trunks doesn't think of it in this way, but he is living what his father had lived through: he has a bastard child, but is not ready to become a father and pass the torch yet; he is not done with himself, with his arch, with his life.

Trunks is working a job he hates and has not yet found what he should be doing instead. He is not in love with machines like his mother is, and he is not perfectly suited for endless battle like his father is. He hasn't fallen into swords as his calling yet so he has no inkling of ever running a sword-training dojo - he just really has no idea what to do. He's always liked Having Fun and Chilling Out and Fucking Around and he's done quite a lot of that. In fact he's done that his whole life. A lot of which has been with Goten. Now Goten is acting as a mother to Trunks's bastard child becasue Trunks isn't good enough to take care of his own fucking problem. He's too immature or selfish, he's not serious enough, he's too cold even - he has no girlfriend or wife, he has no instinct to settle, he hasn't a familial bone in his body.

He knows how to meet bare minimum, he knows how to exist in shadows - he knows how to play the role of a son but cannot marry that with his own individuality, he cannot excel in his parents' paths nor follow his own, he cannot be someone his parents can be proud of. His sister is much more fit to do all that and more - Trunks can't decide if he feels hindered by the ceiling of his upbringing and parents' expectations, or inflamed by it to grow. His sister seems to be doing great though, and she is fierce and competent, and she never once asked Trunks's help for anything past the age of 6.

Trunks hasn't found himself yet. How could he be responsible for another? Not to mention - he has no experience with being needed.

Eventually he returns to tell Goten all of this. The baby has been put to bed and Goten is cleaning the kitchen, and Trunks walks in and tells him that he is so sorry for making this Goten's problem. He understands that they're ride or die but Trunks can recognize that he has not been bringing an equal amount to the table, even though it was his problem to start. He feels like pure shit about it. And he's sorry for keeping his emotional distance. He feels resentful for that fucking baby and he's sorry for not being able to reconcile with and move past that. And he's sorry for feeling violated by a situation that he himself wrought and that he should be able to HANDLE becasue he is an ADULT. He's angry at himself for still feeling like a lost child on some level, an for being so irresponsible as to have not yet resolved that.

He can see that this is more important than all that, and he is sorry for his incompetence regarding.

And he tells Goten that he is a WAY better parent than Trunks could EVER be - and, y'know, he's GRATEFUL for that, perhaps even feels a strange love for Goten for being there to raise his child, and that weirds him out, but anyway - y'know ... He knows that this can't be true, but he'd rather that it just be Goten's child instead. And Trunks is ride or die and would totally help him out any way he could, but also, yknow, when Goten's family or love interests step in to help, Trunks would, yknow, take his leave. And be grateful for that. Becasue he's no good at this. And he doesn't want the responsibility. And he can't tell if that's selfish or not.

........Aaaaand Goten. Lets him say all of that. Dries his hands. And then he sharpens his gaze. And just says exactly what he means and what needs to be said:

"I'm not a mother, I'm a 23 year old man who is unemployed and unmarried. 75% of the contacts on my phone are party-chicks and dude-friends. Three months ago I was doing keg stand enemas, and now I'm a broodmare. I'm nurturing a child that is not even mine. My body is rock-solid with hella muscles and I'm here trying to mimic the soft warmth of a mother. What I am is a guy who is doing his best - and you can be, too."

That really just cuts through the bullshit. He could also tell Trunks that he is good enough and that he needs to be kinder to himself because "we really don't have the time for you to be all locked-up and self-absorbed, like, if you could get going on the process of self-compassion then that would be great because we really need a second emotionally-available person right now..!"

It comes out now (or a little later when Trunks is willing to listen) thaaaaat ......... Hey! This has been EXHAUSTING for Goten!!

Not even just for the baby, but Goten has had to be calm and capable and soothing for TRUNKS, too!

A little is fine, but this has been going on for a few MONTHS now, you know!?!

And, Oh, the STRESS. Goten knows that if he worries too much then he will end up sending mixed signals to the baby, so he's had to make peace with the prospect that he could "fail" or that essentially the baby could never learn security or comfort. So Goten has accepted the situation as it is; there is an infant in distress, it is not his, it is his best friend's, Goten will do what he can to make sure it survives, he will do what he can to heal its heart, but it is undergoing quite the ordeal and Goten is untrained in such matters SO; this is reality and whatever happens happens.

But, also, Goten has necessarily BONDED with this baby, and he can follow its feelings closely, and- OH, he really does STRESS becasue he DOESN'T KNOW if he's actually HELPING OR NOT? Sometimes he feels like the baby is receiving comfort more readily than before, sometimes he feels like it is starting to withstand the stress of daily living without needing constant comfort, sometimes he can leave the room and return and the baby has not yet started crying in that time, sometimes the baby seeks him out in a way that does not feel so hopeless or needy, sometimes it cries in his arms in a way that feels purifying - but other times it goes cold on him when he misses signals, sometimes it rejects him, sometimes it won't eat, sometimes it becomes desperate and needy and will not be soothed, sometimes Goten starts to feel desperate and hopeless himself!

He wants to be there for the baby, to be a reliable regulator, but how can he when the baby has endured rejection and is now of the reflex to sometimes reject those that care for it?

I do think that there is a day where it starts to feel okay. The baby smiles and giggles and trusts that when Goten leaves the room he will be back soon. Goten starts to feel like it's not the end of the world when sometimes things happen that have the baby feeling ignored or violated, and that in turn invokes a phase of coldness and rejection by the baby - becasue Goten knows to just be patient and to tolerate it alongside the baby, and the baby will live through it. That's all Goten can do. Just continue modeling that it's alright, feelings are forgivable, his love is unconditional, and that life is tolerable.

But even beyond the baby: this situation has given Goten a LOT to stew on and process. His ideas about family and motherhood are being tested, and his best friendship is being twisted and tried. This is a lot for Goten to handle, but they have decided to not tell their families yet, and Goten cannot rely on his BFF for the emotional support - so he has been isolated in this. All he can do is soothe and rock the baby in silence and let the rocking motion soothe him as well. All he can do is remain calm and let things process in the back of his mind in their due time. All he can do is keep breathing and moving mindfully. All he can do is keep moving forward.

He has kept his DAMN MOUTH SHUT this whole time out of consideration for Trunks and a desire to keep the atmosphere calm and balanced. But, yknow, now that Trunks is opening up to him about his stress - Goten will go on ahead and share his.

Trunks says that he feels bad for making this Goten's problem, and to that, Goten has two insights:

1.) Stop calling it a problem! There are no problems, no mistakes, no failures; just what you do and don't and how you feel about it. Shifting around blame and derisive declarations unto the abstract concept of the "situation" e.g. THE PRESENT REALITY removes yourself from your much-needed presence and involvement. It takes away what you can DO about it, now.

2.) Okay Well if you feel bad for making this my problem then maybe you should consider returning all the hugs and kissies and pets I've given you and all the DINNERS I've cooked for you. Maybe *I* need to be soothed and rocked and kissed and pet in order to deal with what I'M going through. I can't keep being a mother to YOU AND your child. It's not MY FAULT that I wasn't there to make you use a CONDOM, Trunks!! I'M SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN FROM THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF YOUR OWN CONCEPTION, TRUNKS!!!

Now that we're a few months in, it's time to say that - this really isn't what either of them ever meant to ask out of the other. They have always been each other's go-to for senseless, reckless, and wild thrills. They've given each other intellectual stimulation and emotional mediation, sure, but their default state is HEY DUDE CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN PEE. This whole situation wasn't necessarily in the cards for them. This isn't how they love each other!

But, they can both come to accept that This Is Just How It Is. I think that they can both be strong enough to adapt.

And, with this out of the way, they can start working more as a team. Turns out this shit doesn't HAVE to be miserable. Turns out that when you're honest, your vitality and excitement for life returns. Trunks becomes more involved with his child. They involve their family members and receive help and share joys. Goten is freed up to be able to connect with friends and ladyfriends again, and Trunks becomes more realistic about what he wants out of his life.

It's fine. Not a big deal.

End post.

Everybody stay graceful and lovely <3 Thank you for reading my post

#dballz posting #goten & trunkz #Oh The Sundays I've Spent making Dballz Posts ....

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oblonger · 30 days

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Okay so basically I sent in that Anon ask about Ark's nightmare aura and the Celestial feathers and stuff, and then I got impatient and wrote the scenes I had been imagining anyway.

Then, when I was halfway through it, @sincerely-sofie answered the ask, and I found out that what I had planned was horribly out of character for both of them.

She still wanted to see it despite that, so instead of scrapping it, I finished it. With some additions to hopefully make it a bit more in character.

honestly I feel like it's some of my better work, but I still see flaws with it and the fact that it's ooc and it doesnt work if it was consistent with established mechanics, makes me want to rip apart a steel construction beam with my teeth.

But anyway. Here you go.

"Are you absolutely certain about this?" Ark asked as Twig placed the box comfortably under a tree root.

"I'm telling you man, It's fine! I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to."

Ark scowled. "We both know that isn't true." He replied.

Twig scoffed and rolled her eyes as she put some sticks in front of the box to hide it. "I've been doing better with that!" She complained.

"Okay, tell you what. I promise that if this doesn't work, then we'll never try it again, okay?"

Ark sighed. "If you insist. I still can't guarantee that I will be able to control it."

Twig yawned in responce. As she began making her way back home. The path gently illuminated by the moonlight.

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Ark's brow furrowed. "You've also nearly died on multiple occasions and then actually died. I'd rather we avoid situations where 'I've done it before' is the only supposed reason for doing it."

Twig chuckled, and then yawned again. Maybe she shouldn't have waited this long before moving the celestial feathers.

"I'm not gonna die dude. Besides, that was in the past. I've got you here in case anything goes wrong."

Ark exhaled in response but didn't say anything further. It's clear that he wasn't going to convince her not to try this. She'd been talking about it with subdued excitement all day. He should have known that this would happen when he saw her moving the celestial feathers around before going to bed for the last few weeks.

At first, he believed she was trying to redecorate or find somewhere else to store them. But it soon became clear what her intentions were. Especially after last night, when she had a nightmare brought about by his presence, when Opal had no such problems.

He pondered if she wanted to do this ever since Kip had recounted his experience of meeting him for the first time and that she wanted to see just how much he could control her nightmares.

Twig yawned repeatedly as she moved towards her bed before flopping onto it.

"Before you ask." Twig started. "Yes, I am sure that I want to do this."

Ark huffed. "I... I just don't know if I'll be able to control it Twig. It's been so long since last time that I..." Ark trailed off.

Twig yawned again and turned to face him. Almost ready for sleep to take her in it's grasp.

"If you can't control it, then you know where the feathers are. I'm not worried, Ark."

It was comforting to hear just how much she trusted him.

Doesn't change the fact that he'll be the reason that she'll be in pain.

"Okay." Ark sighed while moving out through her door. "Goodnight. I... I suppose I'll see you in some time then."

Twig sleepily chuckled again. Her eyes felt heavy, her mind shrouded in a fog. "Yeah..." She said before finally falling asleep.

Fire.

Fire surrounded Twig on all sides.

She desperately swung her head back and forth to find an exit.

She was back in the bunker. Where she escaped all those years ago.

She began pushing on the jammed door. It shook and budged from the pressure she was giving it.

Suddenly the door swung open and she fell through, the flames quickly spreading behind her. She looked up, expecting to see the room she fell into back then.

In front of her was the room that she just came out of. With the door shut tight again.

She desperately ran forward while looking back to see that she wasn't back where she started. She was just, in a different room that was the exact same. She slammed her body against this door. False pain reverberating through her body. It budged after running into it a few more times and opened.

The same room. Again.

Twig looked back again. She could barely make out the first room she'd come from through the flames.

She also saw that the flames were spreading towards her faster.

She clambered to get to the next door. Grabbing the handle and desperately twisting it while pushing against the door with her body. It wouldn't budge.

She briefly glanced back at the fires. They had already spread entirely through the second room and now were entering into this one.

There was also flames that had already begun in this room, spreading out from the end of her tail.

She needed to escape.

Twig turned back to the door she was trying to open. The doorknob was gone. Her hands acting as an outline of where it once was. The edges of the door had been welded shut.

She was trapped. She was being cooked alive in this metal coffin.

Twig slammed her arms against the wall that had once had a door. She was yelling out to Ark, to anyone for help. Voice being drowned out by the roaring flames. She could feel her skin melting against the white-hot metal each time she hit it.

Suddenly, all at once, it disappeared.

Twig was now in a dim, featureless cave with no exit. Twig fell upon her knees, using all of her willpower to not vomit.

"TWIG!" Ark shouted from across the room. Voice cracking with terror and sorrow. He rushed over to help her up, but recoiled before touching her. Giving her the space she needed. "Are you okay!?"

Twig breathed heavily for a few moments. Sweat and tears hitting the floor the same.

"Peachy" she replied. Forcing her body to give her control. Her breathing was gradually becoming slow and even.

Ark shut his eyes. "I'm sorry Twig! I knew this was a bad idea." His tone clearly indicating that he blamed himself for this.

"Hey man." Twig said as she moved to sit on the cave floor, wiping the sweat and tears off her face. "I'm just as upset as you are that you had to see that."

"Wh-I..." Ark stammered. Baffled that she was the one wanting to apologize even though all this was his fault.

"Well. Now that we know you can control nightmares, what do you wanna do?" Twig said with a forced upbeatness. Clearly not wanting to dwell on this subject. As much as Ark didn't want to admit it, he knew that if they kept arguing, they'd be stuck in a loop of trying to shift the blame to themselves.

Ark sighed. Lowering himself to sit on the ground next to her. "Well, is there something you've always wanted to do? We can try just about anything... I think."

Twig's tail wagged gently and her face lit up. "Well, I've always wanted to try flying! Just by myself. Not on anyone's back or being carried!"

Ark hummed in responce. "I dont believe my powers are expansive enough to grant you flight. I could drop you from the sky, but thats not what you want is it?"

Twig smirked. "Hey, whats flying if it's not just falling with style?" She joked, trying to diffuse the tension.

Ark looked unamused. But his body language indicated otherwise. "It most certainly is not 'falling with style'."

"Hey come on!" Twig remarked, gently nudging him with her elbow. "It wouldn't hurt to have a bit of practice either way, dont you think?"

Ark instantly picked up on the hidden intent behind those words. "You promised." He growled, glaring at her. A familiar anger bubbling just beneath the surface.

Some years ago that would have sent her into a panic attack. But now this anger is strangely comforting, knowing it's born from concern and love towards her, rather than the desire to make everyone suffer.

Twig sighed and looked at the ground. "Yeah. You're right." Ark looked away and calmed down after hearing her acknowledge her promise. They sat there in silence for a few minutes.

"Well..." Twig muttered, breaking the silence. "I don't exactly want to just, fall if we aren't gonna do this again."

Ark looked at her. "What do you suggest then?"

Twig pondered for a moment. "How about... We watch a sunrise together?"

Ark raised a brow at her. "You can go anywhere you can imagine, or do just about anything you want and you want to do something you can do in real life in a few hours?"

Twig smiled. "We've been so busy that it's been a while since we've gotten to do it together! Besides," Twig leaned against Ark. Suprising him. "It is something I want to do."

Ark stayed still for a moment before relaxing. faster than a blink, they were both sitting near the edge of Sharpedo Bluff. Watching the sunrise together for the first time in who knows how long. The sudden change disorienting Twig for a small moment, needing her to sit upright and put her hands on the ground. She leaned back into Ark after getting balanced. With him leaning back as his response.

"You were right." Ark uttered. "This is nice."

Twig grinned at him. "See how right I am now? Told ya' this was a good idea." She added sarcastically

Ark chuckled in response. Before they both fell silent. Enjoying each other's presence. The thing they both loved most.

#pmd eos #text post #fanfic of a fanfic #the present is a gift au

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vashsscoreboardofpain · 13 days

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WELCOME BACK SPORTS FANS >:]

Lets us all gather today to remember the legend 98 vash the stampede, who definitely didnt survive the augusta explosion and is not hiding his identity by letting his hair loose and wearing a simple outfit instead of his red coat.

Today the contestant has prepared an special outfit for the audience. What could he be hiding

Let us begin episode 18

SIKE! The contestant throws a flashback to the audience. And just like that he hits multiple points in one go: 1 "traumatizing event" point because someone important to him (kinda) was killed, 1 "action point" for not doing anything against knives' insults, 1 "TRAUMATIZING EVENT" POINT FOR LOSING HIS ARM WITH JUST A BULLET, 1 "TRAUMATIZING EVENT" FOR BEING VICTIM OF EXPERIMENTS WITH HIS OWN ARM, 1 "TRAUMATIZING EVENT" POINT FOR BEING FORCED TO USE THE ANGEL ARM AND 1 "BAD EVENT" POINT FOR THE WHOLE NIGHTMARE HOLY SHIT. THE CROWD GETS OFF THEIR SEATS AND CHEERS. WHAT A BEGINNING

After that shattering beginning, the contestant stays out of sight for a few minutes, waiting for the perfect chance to re enter the scene.

He enters the bar with a nice child. 1 "bad event" point because everyone aimed at him at the bar but, for a change, no one shoots at him. The contestant (in his clever disguise) gets kicked by Lina but because in this case was well deserved, the point will not be counted. Yeah, we also hate 90s writers sometimes.

But dont worry too much because the contestant has other ways to keep hitting points today. He goes outside, trying to avoid casualties. In his attempt to protect Lina, the contestant is threaten with an explosion (1 "bad event" point right there) and is obligated to bow to the criminals (1 "action" point). Now, although for most of you, dear audience, bowing is not a big deal, we are dealing with japanese media. In and outside of the trigun universe, what 98 vash eriks is doing is a drastic measure, so it will be counted.

Oh? speaking of drastic measures it seems like the bandits arent done. The contestant strikes 1 "action" point for following the indications of the bandit and act like a dog while naked. What does this action give our contestant? 1 "bad event" point because even when he did all that, he still gets shot at.

And when the audience would think they would get a break, wolfwood, our dear mvp, visits the contestant at the hospital. Even when unconscious, the contestant gets 1 "bad event" point for getting slapped in the face. Dear audience, now that the contestant is awake and that wolfwood is here, there are so many chances for him to get points.

In the talk alone he strikes 1 "bad event" point for getting visions of what he did, 1 "yikes statement" for mentioning his ache to live a quiet life after 150 years of existing and 1 "action" point for assuming wolfwood was there to make fun of him.

BUT DEAR AUDIENCE WE ARE NOT DONE. Outside of the hospital, Lina and her grandma are helping the contestant strike points. He gets 1 "action" point for trying to stop a bar fight and getting punched.

When he go back to the contestant he greets us with 1 "yikes statement" with his "whenever i do anything, people die." The crowd cries a little but wait! After wolfwood leaves, the contestant strikes 1 "action" point because of the way his face changes when knives was mentioned. He moves fast and strikes another "yikes statement" point when reflecting about his life and his attempts to get away from violence. He moves again and hits 1 "bad event" point for getting painful flashbacks of his past, 1 "yikes statement" point for asking the room what to do and 1 "action" point for crying. Its the legendary move that he usually doesnt use: The Triple Depressed Strike.

Now that he has heard the news about Lina, however, he makes a decision. And alongside it, a sad statement about not wanting to leave. 1 "yikes statement" point for him.

The contestant and wolfwood go to confront the bandits and save Lina. After that, he drops his clever disguise as eriks, and prepares to be vash the stampede once again

WOW OK this one was a heavy round dear audience. The contestant is truly giving it all. Today he got 23 points. 98 Vash broke his own record today! This means his new total is 157 points! DEAR AUDIENCE HE IS 2 POINTS AWAY FROM SURPASSING STAMPEDE VASH! INCREDIBLE!

Tune in tomorrow for more sports and for the start of his road trip with the mvp wolfwood

#trigun #trigun 98 #trigun 98 watch party #vashs score board of pain

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turtle-paced · 1 year

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Do you think jon and sansa love each other(as siblings)

sansa doesnt think about him much if ever and she didnt care about him(they didnt even say goodbye to each other) and jon doesn't think about her much and has no reaction to finding out things that happened to her eg forced marriage

Also if jon has the opportunity to become lord of winterfell because of Robbs will loyalty to Sansa and/or bran stop him

Yes. I don't think they're very close (and I don't think this relationship is going to be anywhere near as important to the narrative as others will be, hence the lack of emphasis), but I think there's definitely a bond there. I mean, on Jon's part:

"Which would you have as Lord of Winterfell, Snow? The smiler or the slayer?"

Jon said, "Winterfell belongs to my sister Sansa."

Jon IV, ADWD

Winterfell is most definitely something Jon wants. He wants it a great deal. Inheritance and legitimacy are the source of a great deal of pain for him. And he puts that aside so Sansa has a path to claim the thing he wants most. He doesn't do it only for Sansa, but nevertheless, Jon's love for his siblings, Sansa included, is apparent when he refuses the offer of Winterfell.

For her part, Sansa's undeniably very privileged and picked up a lot of the prejudice against bastards. It's still there.

She had not thought of Jon in ages. He was only her half brother, but still... with Robb and Bran and Rickon dead, Jon Snow was the only brother that remained to her. I am a bastard too now, just like him. Oh, it would be so sweet, to see him once again.

Alayne II, AFFC

She's not a bastard like Jon was, because she's quite aware she's only pretending to be a bastard, but that's not the point. Even in that passage, "only" a half brother becomes just "brother" after the deaths/apparent deaths of their mutual family. It matters less to Sansa after her own experiences and character development, and she wants to see Jon.

#asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #jon snow #sansa stark #a feast for crows #a dance with dragons

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whiteoutzz · 3 months

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so this post... yeah i am having alot of fun. yeah nobody can stop me and once im done with the script i might just get to the longfic i have planned. yeah its fun

[id: drawing of Arctic and Darkstalker standing in front of eachother; both of them have pointy shapes, with darkstalker's mane being much shorter and covering only the neck, while Arctic's covers the whole chest. Both of them have tufts on their foreheads and are looking at eachother angrily, Arctic bit more reserved while Darkstalker's anger is louder. Arctic has his wings pinned down while Darkstalker's are standing up. Arctic has blue string tied around his snout, while darkstalker has blue stitches around his mouth. Behind them there is a blue web on top of a purple background; but what covers most of it is a silhouette of Queen diamond, pure white with blue eyes, her wings spread out, iron crown with blue gems embedded in it. / end id]

(putting the story under the cut; cw for torture)

the general story is; before darkstalker kills arctic, he gets a vision clear enough it makes him stop. he sees his mother foeslayer, knowing she is alive. arctic still confessed but isn't physically harmed yet; clearsight confirms the vision but looks bit sad and confused, like she is hiding something from him, but can't tell why. darkstalker rips out bit of his scroll, but rest is confiscated so he can only cast few spells (breaking it would have similar effect; his spells would be very limited and small). he lets arctic go but follows him to the ice kingdom, enchanting himself to be invisible. he follows him for a while before getting distracted and eventually finds the tunnels; he frees foeslayer but almost as soon she is gone (and protected; he made sure to word the spell so she can't be taken back. he put it directly on her after all) and is caught by queen diamond. arctic is forced to marry snowflake again, and both of them are very miserable about it. its horrible. meanwhile darkstalker gets tortured in the caves. first diamond couldnt hurt him physically, but quickly she figured that one; he didnt make himself unable to feel pain, and two; he forgot to enchant his insides too. spell loopholes and all that she enchants him so his organs regenerate no matter how damaged, so he cant die trough that type of injury then stabs him through the mouth. she figures out more and more creative ways to hurt him later. one day she brings arctic, thinking that would be his final push, to kill his own son, but she is almost surprised how little arctic cares about darkstalker. he stabs him trough the mouth but inside arctic feels bit weird about it, especially seeing his son bleed blue. but he does not think about that. or tries to atleast.

but he tries to figure out a plan, especially that he was allowed to visit darkstalker after that, seeing that care wasnt there and he could be used as a tool of torture. but maybe he doesnt want his life to end like that. he offers darkstalker to make a plan to escape, but first he refuses. also maybe tries to talk with snowflake and while both still hate echother and snowflake is still rightfully angry for what arctic did to her, maybe they have shred of solidarity for once. and you know the whole thing with both of them already having partners and you know. things look bad but maybe darkstalker at some point will want out enough that he will agree to the plan, but for now; to be continued

(also "oooh why arctic now wants to escape even if he came back willingly?" sometimes u forget how bad things were until you experience them again)

(meanwhile in night kingdom there is a civil war happening, but i dont have details about it yet. but its fun)

#wof #wings of fire #wof au #wings of fire au #wof darkstalker #wof arctic #torture #snowart #crunch au

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girlkisserr · 6 months

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frosting infodump go (im lacking art ideas rn)

he was originally brought on with the Research Commission with the rest of the fifth fleet as a hunter since he was actually a pretty good hunter, and pretty much does normal hunter things like investigating stuff and taking down large monsters so the research can actually like happen

yea that was at least until he got his leg broken or something by a diablos and almost died immediately afterwards. its not to say he never sustained other injuries but a lot of them were somehow fortunately enough to not be super horrible even if some were still pretty major. (rib cracks fucking suck btw, he wouldnt want those again. dont get your chest crushed by an anjanath everyone)

since he couldnt walk he had to return back and have someone else handle it in his stead and spent the next while healing through that. rolled a nat1 on post traumatic arthritis and chronic pain upon ye! fuck your knee in particular idk. it sucked. he was annoyed and a little disappointed since it meant he might not be able to hunt anymore as he was still kind of still freshly healed at that point he gave it a bit more time. as he got better he started working lighter jobs again, mostly deliveries and nothing too labor intensive but eventually he got used to it even if he was still kind of annoyed he leg ouchie

he went out hunting anyway. he took the jobs again after being bored and yes he suffered the consequences always actually. (moving around is good but hes definitely pushed it way too much) and got forced into even less activity afterward because. knee hurt curse. something something emotional grief and accepting it eventually with some help he helped with forcing zorah magdaros out into the ocean (mostly manning a ballista) and then the months of whatever the hell happens between that and high rank in game idk

he got a cane, somewhere within that time frame after someone suggested it. nothing super fancy since he didnt really know what he'd want on it anyway. he also kind of psuedo retired as a hunter in favour of idk. becoming a quest handler instead, dipping a bit more into the research part or something and got assigned to another hunter (Odessa, who's owned by my friend @/thehappiestgolucky) and thry get to experience. the horrors. such as baby god (xeno jiiva)

he was both her quest handler and hunting partner in some form but he did a lot more monster tracking than actual fighting, also cooking for the road. his book is essentially just a giant hunter's journal with whatever information about monsters he gets and notes it down. at some point they all move to Seliana and he begins his winter hating arc

the cold made it a lot harder to ever do actual hunts and he'd retreat back to camp a lot more, heat packs were the most friend ever and for a solid while he actually made the mistake of staying in a little too long instead of trying to move around (but with the advice of that he felt a lot better) snow and ice however. mean to him. they got him an ice pick for his cane so he doesnt fall over

he does actually have at least one other cane with a wider base for more support, since all the locales reasonably are a little mean to him. forest is fine but mostly lays in tripping over a tree root or something. wildspire just tires him the hell out (and the sun means the metal part of his cane heats up and he Has absolutely accidentally touched it before) since the sand isnt the best place to walk

coral highlands is. its a lot of highland so hes been a lot more careful regarding it and rotton vale, while he didn't really want to go down there again. bones are tripping hazards and bones are spiky and sharp and theres also effluvium which honestly could not be good for any hunter to breathe in like that flatout. you are going to fuck up your lungs.

other random things. hes just kind of shy about his appearance in a way. even if most of the other hunters dont *seem* to judge him (they signed up for danger they know this is a possibility) the occasional pity glance or remarks are just. thanks! i guess! though it doesnt bother him as much anymore it does still a little bit. overall hes also kind of shy in the way of being seen like anywhere without most of his outfit on (the hot springs) not in a gender dysphoric kind of way, if anything he passes just fine but also theres the weird little fear of judgement

for the most part he had his own room living in Astera, not super fancy but it was cozy enough. in Seliana his lodging is bigger but still sort of a one floor cabin with everything he'd need. he doesn't use his cane while indoors but he likes having it within reach. also travelling. the line from rise where sometimes hunters go "oh sweet a chair/bench" is exactly what he mutters to himself every single time he finds somewhere to sit. most of it as a kind of joke but he needs it

he retired from the commission completely at some point at the age of roughly 18-19 and moved out to Kamura, bringing most of his old hunter gear and journals with him. and then. the horrors (the rampage)

the fact that he ends up meeting Odessa again anyway is kind of hilarious though

#hunter ramblings #frosting. my beloved. im not putting this on the mh blog even though it IS also where i post frosting sorry #idk im shy abt it surprisingly enough so its going here

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toffeacademia · 11 months

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Just a little rant on Llorumi

I feel like the controversy and arguments on llorumi have died down now (or maybe i'm just a social recluse who knows) but anyways, though people say that the ship is problematic and toxic and abusive etc., i truly think that the two of them as characters have incredible compelling parallels.

As Harumi said, they are truly "kindred spirits" because both are essentially two sides of the same coin. Let me explain:

Both have experienced a loss of parent(s) - Harumi her parents and Lloyd his father (who's been a more active parental figure in his life compared to Misako let's be real).

Both know how it feels to be abandoned, though this one is complicated one - from what I gather, Harumi feels as she was abandoned by her heroes, because they failed to save her parents (I'll go through this in further detail below) while Lloyd was left in a boarding school by his mother.

Both have been thrust into high standard titles and thus, hold lots of responsibilty on their shoulders. - Lloyd being the Green Ninja and Harumi becoming Princess of Ninjago.

However, the one thing that sets them apart is the way that they percieve these life experiences.

For example, Lloyd grieved that he had to banish his own father and he felt his father's absence for a few seasons but he moved on in a way, yet he still loved his father, up until, well, you know. Harumi on the other hand, while she did grieve, she was overcome with the rage of "betrayal" and she held onto this rage, leading her to desire revenge. Lloyd could've taken the same route as well, he could've exact revenge on Chen, since it was Chen's war that lead to Garmadon deciding to sacrifice himself.

Crystalized and March of Oni does a great job of conveying Lloyd's anger, because while both of them hold onto their anger for a while, Lloyd doesn't lash out and ressurect one of Ninjago's most well known villains in an attempt to "save" the city. While obviously everyone has different opinions on Lloyd's arc in Crystalized, it makes sense that Lloyd's anger is what they decide to put focus on. Dude's literally having to work with his technically-evil dad, and has to fight his ex-gf again and kind of relive certain bits of trauma. On top of that, he has to tap into a darker side of his heritage, while trying to prevent himself from becoming his father (his overall fear). I'll rant about Crystalized in another post.

Anyways, returning back to topic, the dynamic and parallels between the two of them is what makes their scene in Game of Masks (Harumi's reveal episode) so compelling and thrilling, not just because Lloyd is going through the worst kind of heartbreak (my poor boi :(( ) but also because on a deeper level, these two are the literal representation of like calls to like.

Yes I made a Shadow and Bone reference in a Ninjago post - fight me.

Another example is the fact that both found a home of some sorts, yet while Lloyd found a family that built and raised him to be a hero, Harumi was taken into a family that has strict and heavy traditions, and its obvious from the way that Harumi doesn't consider the Emperor and Empress her parents that she hates them, so she is raised under a negative perspective and thus, turns to her revenge plans as a sort of method to treat her grief and pain.

However, it isnt healthy for either of them in their current stages of character development (post-Crystalized) to be in a romantic relationship. Harumi's short "redemption" isnt enough for them to canonically be in a relationship. Both need immense therapy and they have to confront their issues if either even want to be in a relationship together. If writers plan on putting them together, I would hope that they first confront the issues and history these two have, and then slowly build their relationship.

Or even, they don't need a relationship to heal. All I ask is that writers give them both the healing they deserve.

But that doesnt mean that people should be attacked for shipping them. A ship is just a ship, canon or not.

Still, I admire the parallels in the writing of both their backstories and the fact that both have a certain "love" for Garmadon (in my opinion, Harumi has an obsession but that's a discussion for another time).

It is quite funny though, that their sort of relationship is a kind of lovers to enemies to...allies? Honestly idk, but I love that the Ninjago writers gave us these kinds of parallels in characters. But these two greenies are not the only ones! The amount I could write on parallels in Ninjago...oof.

(Also, I'm not tagging this as a ship post, but idm if anyone reblogs this as the ship).

#ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago harumi #lloyd ninjago #ninjago rants #idk why i felt the need to write this today #but here u go anyways

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sidesteppostinghours · 20 days

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4 and 19 for the ask game? for all ur steps, if you're up for it? Or pick whichever :)

evening! thank you for the ask :]!

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

Caine- flight. eyes closed, he doesnt want to see whats going down, and hightailing it as fast as possible. thats what happened during checkpoint three in retri, and wouldve been his choice during heartbreak if they werent ! that said, after the bad dream (the one before we meet chen in the boneyard), he Did stay stock still, since he got the freeze instinct trained into him. (actually i just remembered they punched mitchel (from @hyper-pixels, hi) after they woke up from a bad void dream???? so maybe they just have a weird amalgamation of instincts that crop up depending on the situation).

Cyrus- its a toss-up between fight and flight for him– hes 100% a coward and not afraid to cut his losses when he thinks he needs to, but at the same time, hes a stubborn bastard and has a Lot of anger to spare. generally speaking, his first instinct is fight. its only after he takes the time to assess a situation when he decides what hes going to do though– if he thinks he has a fighting chance, hes going for it. interestingly, hes less willing to fight things now that hes a villain than he was as a hero.

Cecilia- fight. honestly, theres no debate. anybody who has the audacity to scare her is going to face one (1) Incredibly pissed off ceci and probably more than a few fresh bruises. she hates feeling scared–it makes her feel powerless, and thats something she swore shed never experience again. fighting her fears makes her feel like theres something she can do about it, even if its superficial.

Cynthia- its either freeze or fawn, and the farm taught her both <3 she cant bring herself to fight or run because both actions were punished. she found out quickly enough that just taking it gave her a lighter sentence overall, and she continued to use that. fun(?) fact, 'just taking it' pretty much carried her into becoming a fighter step, because her pain tolerance is high as hell now. she still takes the armor upgrade though, just in case.

19. How does your OC behave when enraged?

Caine- hah. ok. well, in most cases, he wont hurt you. most of the time, hed settle for a clenched jaw and a glare. also not above leaving the room, no matter how important the person theyre talking to is. id say they get quiet when theyre angry, but theyre quiet most of the time so itd be hard to differentiate between normal quiet and 'fantasizing-about-watching-the-light-leave-from-their-eyes' quiet. if they have a reason to hurt them though? if hes in his armor, or its otherwise possible to inflict sufficient damage to them? at least One bone is breaking. if the person is regina specifically, shes not leaving the interaction with her life.

Cyrus- tear the bitch apart. psychologically???? physically???? emotionally????? why not all three of them! it would really depend on the situation, but by now cyrus knows how to rein in his anger just enough to figure out what would hurt somebody the most. this could range from kicking their ass to giving them a breakdown by systematically targeting their fears/insecurities. hes a cunt, but hes Smart about it.

Cecilia- Lots of yelling. probably more than a few punches too. her anger is explosive and raw, and its very easy for her to get caught up in it. that said, it doesnt last long either– once the initial anger burns out, shes willing to forget about it. if you piss her off, its a matter of how good you are at weathering the brute anger, which, granted, can be hard to do considering ceci like to hit things. she likes to hit things hard.

Cynthia- that depends when in the timeline she gets angry, because those have very different answers. pre-retri ending, she Refused to show her anger. you could not force her to. echo may end up being slightly more erratic if she got into an argument or something like that, but that was it. but the minute ortega accused her of being a regene copy? that switched up Quick. if she was going to be seen as a monster and a fake, fine, shell play the part. nowadays, getting her pissed means you have a target on your back, and not only is she patient in ruining your life, her high caution means its very difficult for her emotions to blind her. she acts cold, nearly apathetic, but rest assured shes finding out exactly what makes you tick.

questions from here!

#THIS TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH AND I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA WHY 😭😭 IM SO SORRY WJDJSJS #anyway. loved these asks #whenever my babies get emotionally compromised i get hearts in my eyes #caine lynzal #cyrus becker #cecilia rider #cynthia garcia #sidestep #fhr #pulp answers #ask game

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sunsp0tarchive · 1 month

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On Gabbi and Ellis and their relationship(s)

long post!!!

A post about my ocs relationship for once.. on the blog where i have mainly art of them anyways... surprising i suppose I often think "ah i will actually write this in my proper book, or i will make a comic about it" and then i never do, but i would be happy if people got to know them a bit better anyways. And it doesnt stop me from writing it out later on, in the detailed way i want to anyways.

I guess i wanted to explore a bit how these two come together, what they see in each other, and how that evolves over time. And how they evolve over time too. Ellis has never really been in a relationship at all, because of his literal physical isolation, he has very little experience in handling certain feelings. In the past, he experienced abuse and punishment for crying or saying his thoughts. He cant even properly identify his romantic feelings, in a way. Ellis craves human connection and physical connection (and i mean that in a non-sexual way too, he quite literally cannot stop putting his head on gabbis shoulders or lap or just hugging him, because it just makes him feel calm and happy.) Ellis is very emotionally stunted. This appears to other people from the outside as him being kind of cool, aloof, prince-like in a way. But the truth is that he is mostly stoic and socially awkward because he literally never had any other option. A deep sense of shame and self loathing underlines everything he feels , as well. Crying, in front of Gabriel, properly for the first time, is a good thing for him. Being met with kindness, understanding and concern when he is trying hard to suppress his negative emotions, is a big turning point for these two. I suppose i am getting a bit ahead of myself, but mostly their attraction to each other took root in both of them finding each other attractive. Gabbi in particular was hit immediately with a heavy, painful crush. Ellis always found both Anna and Gabriel attractive, but he truly grows to feel very strongly about Gabriel as they spend days in the library together, just talking and playing chess and doing whatever. Gabriel trying so hard to hold back his feelings, Ellis trying so hard to understand what hes feeling in the first place.

Gabriel has been in love once before, with someone he could not be with, Esra, who is a bit older than him and just didnt feel comfortable with their age gap (despite them being adults and all. Esra being 26 and Gabbi being 19.) And it weighed on his heart in a really terrible way. He tried to rush into a relationship with a man a few years back, but was treated badly, berated and it was overall a very toxic experience for him. Gabbi had kind of resigned himself to the idea that he wont find anyone again, knowing he couldnt be with Esra, who is deeply special to him. Then developing such powerful feelings for someone who is "in a relationship"(as it appeared that Anna and Ellis were getting together, quickly. Knowing his sister has never been in love before either, the conflict of not wanting to ruin something for her was weighing on him heavily.) it made him feel like he is cursed. He wants to love and care, he doesnt like conflict or stress. He wants to feel love without the burden of shame. To simplify things, their relationship starts off with noticing surface level beauty in each other, grows by listening to and understanding each other, and grows by them both changing significantly as people.

What traits do they appreciate most in the other? Ellis sees Gabriel as a very emotionally intelligent, competent, sweet person. Someone who has a gentle and understanding heart. But somehow also has a sense of hypercompetence to him. (A lot of this is just at the beginning, as Gabriel is horrifically overworked and a nervous wreck.) But his emotional intelligence and true ability to understand others, it means a lot to Ellis. Of course he also thinks gabbi is very cute, beautiful and elegant. He sees Gabbi as a prince, more than the other way around. Gabbi sees in Ellis, an independent, intelligent and very mysterious person at first. Ellis' intelligence and genuine inquisitiveness about his world and surroundings make Gabriel feel like he is having true, genuine conversations that make him feel fulfilled in a way. He loves to explain things to Ellis, and Ellis loves having things explained to him. He sees the soft, naive person underneath the aloof demeanor. Of course , physically , Ellis is extremely beautiful to him as well.

Gabbi is very emotionally dependent at first, very pathetic and attached. Ellis almost detached, not giving as much as Gabbi needs and wants. Theyre all over each other physically when they start their relationship, but it was hard for them to speak about deeper feelings. Ellis slowly learns to express his emotions, his desires as well. Not to dwell on it too much in this post, but their sexual dynamic also changes a lot over time. (i might make a post about it later too.) Gabbi grows to have a spine, to be less anxious, beautiful, confident, but also a bit selfish i suppose (he will of course keep growing, he is only 22-26 as far as im imagining rn.) . Ellis grows to let himself feel things. Becoming a bit blubbery and sad and dependent for a while too haha... But over a long time, both of them learn not to let constant shame weigh them down in their lives.

#gabriel #ellis #text post #long text #oc #original character #feel free to ask questions or anything about them i love that heheh #Finally i wrote about them

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charmed-and-alarmed · 8 months

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EPISODE 5: Scooby and the Gang meet Dracula the Straw Hats versus Dracule aka 'new trauma boy has entered the chat'

my episode 4 coverage

Luffy's childhood pirate flag was better than the one he made last episode

Also it's so weird to show Luffy and Garp together when Luffy is young bc we just saw him free range childhood-ing at that bar. Where was Garp then??

Koby saving Helmeppo = the start of a beautiful friendship

"youre his first mate" now that I know that was never confirmed in canon, this line is 1000% funnier

Ok does Luffy know how navigation works? That scene with Garp implies he might have had some training, but I wouldn't put it past him to only have food-motivated navigational skills

Sanji's introduction is as good as Zoro's. The added bonus of them having tuned down his horrific flirting to something far more palatable is just *chef's kiss*

Everyone teasing Nami about Sanji's flirting (well, Luffy laughs along but clearly has no idea what's going on) is iconic

Mihawk. Dracule Mihawk. Is it a complete waste to have Don Krieg there as canon fodder? Absolutely. But you cannot deny how fucking badass Mihawk is. Note that he refers to Don Krieg's gun thing as a "final gambit" implies that everyone in this world thinks in terms of finishing moves.

"little eggplant" is such an adorable nickname for Sanji. Zeff & Sanji's relationship is so dysfunctional - I want to love it, but they're just so fucked up, I can't judge

Poor Koby, learning that the world is full of hypocrites. Soft boy. Helmeppo just wants to pat his head and hide him from the mean mean world

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I love Sanji's accent. I like that it separates him from everyone around him, but doesn't go the stereotypical 'chefs are French' route

I'm sad we don't get real Gin. He was a very cool, very complicated. Both me and Sanji are sad about his loss

Also Zoro clearly spews bullshit about Nami so she'll contradict him, revealing more than she would have told him otherwise. Like Nami, you are being played. Zoro isn't even particularly good at it, you're just not at your best right now

Zoro's "I had one friend" - dude, you and Kuina were friends for less than 24hrs.

Between Garp and Luffy, it's clear who got all the cunning in the family. Also Garp's "I want the freedom to handle things how I like" is suuuuuch a douchebag line. Suuuch scum. I take back everything I've said about liking Garp, he is clearly just a 'doesnt play by the rules' cop from a TV drama.

I like that Zoro meets Mihawk super early on in the story. Like, we need to see him be totally wrecked. Zoro needs to experience being totally unprepared for what it's going to really take to achieve his goal. Poor Zoro is here thinking "it's too soon. I didn't think I would meet him so soon" and we get to see he has the potential for greatness, but is clearly still at the beginning of his journey. Did you really think you'd be the greatest swordsman before you hit 20?

Also Zoro's "you said it yourself, you don't have any friends" to Nami is such a dick move? But also a well deserved 'fuck you' to Nami for trying to play aloof rather than accepting the vulnerability that comes with actual friendship. I get why she's conflicted and upset, but I can't help but disagree with her attitude in this part of the series. Like I love her, but she's just enough of a hypocrite to piss me off

Of course Mihawk likes the hat, Luffy. His weird friend/rival/ex-husband had a hat just like that

I love sword fights a lot, but the one between Mihawk and Zoro is painful to watch. It's the fight with Kuina again, and one again Zoro refuses to see that he doesn't have to be the best right now

However I love how Mihawk looks at Zoro though - like a prey animal surveying a particularly interesting bug.

Aaaand when it comes down to it, Luffy never even considered the possibility that Zoro would lose. And Zoro sounds like such a child for once when he makes his vow. Gah. What an ending

Immediately to the next episode

#opla #opla spoilers

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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 8 months

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thinking about reed's worldview & morality makes me feel sooo insane this guy contains such multitudes it's crazy

(major spoilers for reed's backstory)

like i mean when you take into account all of tesilid's timelines you see him at his lowest and then get up from it and you realise that hey his lowest was pretty low but it really is so far from his default. he did commit atrocities but like it's not an inherent part of him. when he decided comitting atrocities wasn't worth it anymore he did just stop, because being evil wasn't really very important to him anyway.

my read on reed's motivation is that it's not really about him being evil and wanting to cause pain, but a desperate attempt to save himself. i don't really see all his mass murdering as him being inherently evil tbh because like. he had saved the world 8+ times and all of that reset. what is the worth of other people's lives, when any joy they experience, any pain they felt, would no longer exist except for in his memories? i think to reed, every other person becomes like a video game character. it's perhaps disturbing but the immorality of killing them is a little suspect because death and suffering doesn't even have long-term consequences for said person anyway. reed causing some massive destruction is just... morbid entertainment? reed certainly smiles (smirks) more than he ever does as tesilid. glad he's having fun(?). like everyone in the timeline is going to die anyway according to his plans, and they and anyone else who lived didn't have a future even if he did fail, so what does it matter if they died now or not.

but even after he's become uncorrupted tesilid again, it's still clear that he remains angry and vengeful. he chokes and scares the bandit leader Just Because. The bandit leader in this timeline doesn't even know what tesilid is taking revenge for, so all that scaring is really just for tesilid's own satisfaction. Scaring the hell out of the bandit leader is important enough to tesilid that he risks ailette seeing this happen if she just turned around a little early. And in the pandora's box dungeon, he lied to the order of light pillars about having lost his memories about the sculptor's atelier, but "don't worry my memories are coming back!" There's literally no reason for him to lie in this particular way, if not to see them squirm. and he purposely leaves them with ailette, whom he knows will beat them black and blue for him. he's still going to sacrifice himself for others and put himself in danger, but he's not above some schadenfreude and taking delight in the pain of those who'd wronged him, he's not some saint.

he's still angry and vengeful but even as readers we rarely get to see this side of him, because there are things more important to him than revenge. And doesn't that say something about his capacity to love and to be good. Even after hitting the lowest of low, he still picks himself up. He cares about Ailette's safety so much and tries to get along with her family. I kind of wonder if he woke up and went yeah that "destroy everything" plan was kind of whatever let's try something else this time, and picked up his moral compass where he dropped it under the kitchen counter. his attitude to cardinal cartelyena dooming him to a really terribad punishment is really just "yah i was objectively bad so i don't even hold anything against you lol".

like. shakes him up and down. the way he decides to mass murder and then some time after goes actually you know what sorry god that wasn't very nice of me i think i'll be good this time and he genuinely means it. it's so funny he has such a range and it doesn't compromise the integrity of his character at all, his core still feels the same. do you get me. like he's always been intrinsically inclined towards doing good and he has a great deal of patience, but he can also snap and be angry and decide to just be evil but it also doesnt make his inclinations towards goodness any less real you know what i mean.

also he's so good at lying that it's funny. he's lying all the time and no one even questions it, because why would he lie? he's the pushover doormat who always sacrifices himself for others. the only way you would know that he's lying was if you already somehow knew the truth. and you sure as hell aren't getting it out of him. honesty being a virtue (generally speaking) and he doesn't have an ounce of it. and none of the people in universe would even consider it.

edit: i realised that it's not really accurate to say that destroying the world wasn't that important to reed anyway, because reed did expressedly reject ailette because he was so hell-bent on destroying the world. ah well we all have times when we hit rock bottom and he sure hit at least 500km past that. whatever, the point is that he did that and then went oh whoops let's not do that this time and genuinely meant it. what a guy. i love all the character development he goes through. and the great changes he goes through doesn't feel contrived at all.

#s-class heroine spoilers #roast potato #from my drafts #penned august 21

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