tease tidbit tuesday 🫧

hi friends, i'm procrastinating doing my fema courses in favor of watching season 4 <3 have a lil bit of eddie vs the hoa

It’s just—Buck is big and it kind of drives Eddie a little crazy.  Like? God, okay. He’s a little stupid over it. You’ll have to forgive him.  He is so big, right, larger than Eddie and Eddie isn’t a small guy. He’s filled out since finishing his probationary year, settling in his career and getting comfortable in the life he chose for himself and Chris. He’s more functional muscle than big gains; his stomach’s soft, protected by a sweet layer of fat, but his core’s solid and his arms are twice the size they used to be when he was twenty-seven.  See? He isn’t small.  But, like, Buck’s just bigger, wider and broader and thicker, and there’s something so delicious about having somebody that large at his mercy, at his every beck and call. Buck has this quality about him, no matter his size, like he’s always ready to drop to his knees and let himself be taken care of, and it has Eddie’s head buzzing in a way that most definitely isn’t from the beer. 

tagged by @wikiangela, @jeeyuns, @devirnis, @disasterbuckdiaz, and @daffi-990 <3

tagging @spagheddiediaz, @puppyboybuckley, @evanbegins, @honestlydarkprincess, @exhuastedpigeon, @thewolvesof1998, @theotherbuckley, and @monsterrae1 if any of you wanna share!

No, but I could have so much fun playing with the perception of canon to lean buddie towards romantic, but mostly on Eddie's side because I stand by the fact that Buck doesn't realize what he's feeling. Because in season 3, Eddie basically tells Frank that he boxed his emotions so much he's not feeling anything, positive or not. And that begs the question of when did the box started to crack. We know it explodes in season 5, but that's because he couldn't contain it anymore, so when did it start to break? My bet, the well. What the did the well trigger? Eddie changing his will. And hiding it. The hiding it part is important because why would he hide it until he had an excuse to say it that was about Buck not himself? He almost died and his reaction is to give Buck the single most important thing in his life. And season 4 Eddie, he's more open but the box is still there, until the shooting. Say whatever you want, Eddie reached for Buck. He thought he was going to die and reached for him. That was Eddie oh! moment and I will die on this hill. But terrible moment to have an oh! moment, because he's, yk, dying. Then he used whatever energy he had left to ask Buck if he was hurt. Did he ask because he knows Buck enough to know he would ignore himself if someone he cares about was worse? Did he ask because he needed one of them to make back to Chris? Did he ask because he just realized he loves Buck and needs to make sure he's okay before dying? Who knows, I like the last one tho.

But then he wakes up in the hospital. With Ana, the girlfriend he was really intense for a second there but then we had doubt thrown on it by having Carla imply that the reason he's with her is Christopher. And then Buck tells him it would've been better if he was the one who got shot, and now he can tell Buck about the will while making it about Buck, not him (Edmundo Diaz say I love you like a normal person challenge). Maybe he was working himself up here to say something else, waiting for him to be healthier? I mean, he knows Buck associates pain with love so he wouldn't do a bedside confession. But then Taylor Kelly is in his welcome home party. And that's a reminder that Buck is straight (debatable) so he stays with the girlfriend we now have doubts about and who his doubts about will evolve to full on panic. Per season 6 he doesn't remember details of the shooting, but it would be great for dramatic purpose if he was lying because he can't say whatever he realized when he hit the ground.

But we keep going, he likes Ana, maybe he can love her, but that fails miserably. Isn't interesting that he needed Buck's permission to breakup with Ana? But then he swear off dating again. Which makes sense considering the fact that the box was about to blow and he was minimizing the amount of people that would be around when it did. But the box blowing up made him work on dealing with feelings in a healthier way. The first crack on the box made him sure of Buck, and Buck was with him all throughout him dealing with having no more box. And now there's no more Taylor Kelly. Eddie's single, Buck's single, and he's living in this bubble where he can pretend things are moving to the direction he wants them to, without actually doing something about it. Buck's is cooking dinner for him and Chris, he's asking Buck about things Chris hid from him. But then his bubble got popped. By Buck dying (if we believe Oliver, there was some sort of reaction shot from Eddie that we missed) but even with just what we got, he was acting like a grieving partner.

And after that we actually see Eddie being around Buck more. Does he want to be there if Buck breaks over dying? Is he just convincing himself Buck's still alive? Who knows. But he's also being pressured into dating again (after that poker game, tell me that wasn't a date, I dare you) but he's still ignoring it while hanging on to Buck. Until Buck blindsided him with Natalia. It's interesting that Eddie is hostile to every girl that shows interest in Buck, he looked like he could fight Abby, he looks like he poisoned Taylor. But he's not like that about Natalia, his main worry is actually if it's a good idea to date someone else he met in a call. And it is a choice to have Eddie looking that heartbroken while Buck talks about dating, then deciding he's ready to date (he's accepting the fact that he's gonna be Buck's best man and needs to move on). But he's settling, he's chasing what he knows (what he had with Shannon) to feel something. And to use that perception of the facts could be fun.

Also here I rest my case for Eddie fell first. But mostly because Buck is loud with his emotions and if he realized he's in love with someone that deeply he would start vibrating in such a frequency that there would be no hiding it. Dude is gonna have his oh! moment and have wedding rings later that day.

hewwo

ben's been having a shit time sleeping the last few weeks - reasons not entirely clear but presumably a mixture of everything - i'll quote him here: "work stress a bit, wedding excitement/nerves, social calendar excitement/nerves and just like the catch 22 of bad sleep"

he called the dr this morning to see if they'd give him melatonin, but aparently the uk doesnt do that anymore (????) so they gave him some drowsy antihistamine stuff + i went and picked it up from the pharmacy

i don't wear a mask everywhere (i do risk assessment basically time i step into a building - arguably mask-wearing is less of a hassle but it does aggravate my breathing problems despite people pretending it doesnt) but a pharmacy is definitely one of thoes places where i wouldnt go w/o one bc like ... they are where all the germy people go lol ...

only one other person was wearing one, and i overheard him explaining that he had leukemia - and like it wasn't even one of the good masks, it was a shitty surgical one... like rly it does suck that highly vulnerable people just are unable to participate in society without a baseline level of risk when the majority of people dont mask

anyway - i picked up ben's sleep things. hope it works to be honest bc we've got like 4 weeks until the wedding lmao so he's gonna have to sleep before then!!! he hasn't been down yet tonight so maybe?

had the sudden urge to play pokemon go tonight for the first time in about 18 months so i enlisted ana to come with me to the park :) sooo much has changed since i last played + i had fun!! i think ill go out again tmr hunting! :)

Frost & Fire Excerpt:

Hey! Realized I hadn't posted one of these in a while and so:

Here is a bit from chapter 14. Actually its all of chapter 14 because its a very short chapter and I really like it.

Word Count: 698

Taglist: @golden-eyed-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @livvywrites @magic-is-something-we-create @gr3y-heron @ihaveneverhadaclue

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By the time the week passed, Enna just wanted to go home. And she did. She got into the teleportation room on the seventh day after arriving in Bryn. By the time the next week had passed, Enna was fed up with Bryn. It wasn't fun. The only bright spots were her friends who had come with her and, surprisingly, Zerve, who she had found a dozen excuses to hang out with them over the six days.

But at the end of the week, Enna stepped into the teleportation circle minutes after she had waved goodbye to Zerve, and kept waving as the magic of Q and Redari whisked her and the others away.

When they got to Halmire it was early morning, time zones being different across the continent. Enna immediately set out with her sister, who was asking, “So, what was it about mom you wanted to show me?”

“Oh, just a portrait of her I found. Apparently she served on the Kings council about two hundred years ago.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes later- like 15 but who was counting- they met up with Ana and Dash for a quick talk at Enna’s room in the Halmire Hotel. She had lived there, in that room, for fifty years, since she had struck a deal with the previous baron to let her stay there. Obviously, her father had kept that deal.

Sitting at the desk, in the only chair in the room, Dash and talking animatedly with Ana, who sat on the bed.

Enna settled herself on the opposite side of the bed, it could fit two people on it if they both were small- and they were- and Anne sat on the floor, legs stretched out.

“So. What’re we going to do about Dizerdrat?” Asked Enna, fidgeting with the dagger she carried everywhere and getting up to stow her weapons in the wardrobe where she kept pretty much everything, including a decades old stockpile of healing potions from the last time Halmire had been properly invaded- over fifty years ago, now, during the War of the Rose.

Dash sighed, running a hand down his face and shifting in his seat. “We- I don’t know. I have no clue, really. Beyond that we have to fight. Fight for our lives, and for the lives of everyone who can’t fight anymore.” He said, and the first face that flashed through Enna’s mind at his last words wasn’t Anne, who could fight for herself and was damn good at it, but Luralei and Thea. Maria; the little girl she had had all those decades ago who now had little girls of her own, and their children, the bloodline Enna had privately sworn to protect for the rest of her life.

The children of the children of the children of the War of the Rose, the hidden battle with a necromancer name Eleanor, along with a fight with a man who could summon dragons and a horse whose mane was made of pure flame; a man who was Enna’s uncle.

“I know,” Said Ana, shifting so she was facing everyone. “We fight to our last breath to protect the ones who can’t. We fight until we can’t fight anymore and then we rest and we hope we did some good in the world, something that maybe, just maybe, we’ll be remembered for. And even if we aren’t, something that’ll help defeat the dragon who has killed thousands of innocent people.”

Anne pointed at her with both hands, saying, “Yes! Exactly!”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Said Anne, the last member of the core four, the quadruplet that had fought the world together and came out grinning, half of whom had walked through hell and were still angels and the other half of them who had walked through Shadow and yet were still shining.

But this quadruplet had ties to other places too, to other times and people, to Zibra Kromlin and to Pike Helder, to Nita alendel and Cerea Roven, to Luralai and Thea, to a hundred different people throughout the centuries.

They had loved and lost and lived. They had survived against all odds and would survive again. Hopefully.

👀👀👀 what are you plotting

Madina my dear I have started and stopped plotting so many things this year.

Here's a few pieces of writing from the year! Your theme is things-I-wrote-in-the-notes-app-on-my-phone. These may or may not ever be converted into full-length things.

1. [Buck (temp?) Dead fic] I will probably post the whole thing this came from as a tumblr drabble at some point. I don't think I ever found out where I was going with this one to be honest with you.

Buck thinks he's dead, probably. There's no two ways around it. He's dead and he's having an out of body experience, he has to be, because he's looking down at his broken body in the rubble and he has enough experience to know that's a black tag if he ever saw one. That's it, move on, Evan Buckley is no more. He's a little alarmed by how well he's taking it, but he supposes he's dead. What can he possible do about it, now? Is anything he's even feeling real? He's been known to persevere; to push back and beat the odds. But this looks fairly final to him. It feels pretty over and done with, considering that he's still somehow looking down at his body. He doesn't remember how he died. Buck just was... until he wasn't anymore. Were they on a call? He assumes they had to be, since he's in his turnout gear. He seemed to have lost his helmet at some point in the space between being not dead and then dead. He wonders if the helmet would have made a difference, then looks at the pool of blood around his body, and decides that no, it probably wouldn't have.

2. [Eddie On A (Thirsty) Mission Fic] this might eventually become something

Then Eddie took a sniper's bullet to his right shoulder, as a firefighter in LA. And what the actual fuck, truly. He could have used a less traumatizing sign from the Patron Saint of Get-the-fuck-on-with-it to hurry along his realization that Buck was what was best for Eddie, too. And Eddie, who never failed to act on his near-death experiences, had accepted this ground-breaking knowledge easily. Shockingly, so had Ana, who took her leave gracefully and perhaps kindlier than he really deserved, suggesting that maybe she hadn't been all in either. Eddie has been working double-time to recover from his bullet wound, from feeling unsafe whenever he leaves his house, and from feeling so incredibly lonely when he's worked through it all enough that Buck is no longer sleeping on his couch with his stupid socks on. Buck's back in his own loft, probably nailing Taylor Kelly, and Eddie hates it. He's sick of it all, really. He wants Buck.

3. [Accountant! Buck Academic AU] is this going to be cracky? Oh for sure. But it'll be fun for me so -

Eddie tried not to stare at the 6-foot-something of overtired standing in the elevator next to him. The man seemed to be kept on his feet almost entirely by his face smooshed against the wall, which was both a rookie and desperate enough move - the man would come down with a cold in a week, guaranteed, because universities were nothing if not filled with germs - that it took approximately zero effort to deduce that this man must be a grad student. Eddie winced in sympathy as the elevator came to a stop at the floor of the Business & Sciences building that was mostly occupied by similarly exhausted student zombies in unwilling host bodies and the man blinked his eyes open blearily. The telltale glaze of too much caffeine and not enough sleep somehow did nothing to dull the intensity of those baby blue eyes. Eddie did his level best not to stare as the man did a full body shake to rev himself up enough to exit the elevator and step out onto the floor. As the elevator doors closed, Eddie also did his best not to think about how the man's spatial awareness was total exhaustion-induced-shit, because his broad shoulder had brushed against Eddie's on his way out and Eddie could still feel the warmth of him beside him now one floor later. It was Eddie's turn to try to shake himself out because thou shall not thirst after a grad student was in the top ten rules of being one of the youngest faculty members at the school, and there was no way in hell Eddie was going to break that rule for a pair of gorgeous blue eyes.

send me a 👀 and i’ll post a snippet of art/writing that i never got around to finishing this year