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secretagentspydetectiveninja · 6 years

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The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 49

Don’t judge me, I’ve always wanted to drop a chandelier on someone ;_;

Also on AO3 as always

The weather over the next several weeks seemed to be rapidly improving, despite the fact that it was still winter, astronomically speaking. Princess Marinette had been throwing all her energy into making edible treats for her fellow students to stave off her heartsickness, and Aurore and Mireille responded in kind by keeping the school relatively warm, sunny and dry. Her new reputation amongst both the royalty and nobility was as the “cookie princess” – one that she very much liked.

Marinette was not the only one with an interesting new reputation, though. Pharaoh Alix quickly discovered that her efforts to decorate the fountain had not gone unnoticed by everyone.

“Those nobles over there seem to want to talk to you,” Mylène said, tilting her head towards the other side of the path where there were indeed a few shy nobles hanging about, nudging each other encouragingly.

“Maybe it’s you they want to talk to,” Alix replied. Usually when she and Mylène had their regular skating lessons – which was mostly just an excuse to hang out with each other now – no one ever tried to speak to her. She might have blamed it on her being a higher rank than everyone else, except for the fact that she knew her intimidating personality and venomous pet cobra were more to do with it.

“Let’s ask them!” Mylène suggested, before turning around and waving at the nobles. They reluctantly came over, throwing out mini curtseys and quiet mumbled greetings.

“My friend here wants to ask something,” one of them said. She nudged the other one forward, who turned back to give her a quick glare.

“Go for it!” Mylène said, the friendliest of smiles on her face. It was odd seeing her so confident when speaking to nobles, considering how timid she could get around fellow royals. “I’m always willing to answer any questions!”

“Oh, um, it’s not for you,” the noble said, curtseying again and pulling her friend down with her. “It’s for the pharaoh.”

Oh, so Mylène had been right after all. The nobles were glancing nervously at the snake wrapped around Alix’s neck.

“Just go ahead and ask,” she said. “The snake’s not gonna do anything. Chill out.”

The nobles did not look reassured. All the same, one of them said, “Is it true that you’re the one that put all the flowers on the fountain?”

“Um, yeah? With some help, though.”

Now the nobles were looking at her in awe. “Whoa… you’re the Flower Pharaoh…”

“What do you mean? They’re just flowers, it’s not a big deal.”

“We were just visiting the fountain now, because we heard the tales,” the other noble said. “They say that you put all those flowers on there the day before the Cupid Festival, and now thanks to the way the weather’s been, they’ve gone all dusty and black and shrivelled but they’re still there.”

“Huh, I guess I should go take them off then–”

The nobles began shrieking in protest, almost completely unintelligible.

“No no no don’t–”

“Please don’t destroy the gothic fountain reputation–”

“Black flower dust is punk now–”

“You can’t be Flower Pharaoh if the flowers are gone–”

“Alright, fine!” she said, hoping these shrill nobles would shut up a bit. “I’ll leave the dead flowers on there if it makes you happy.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty!”

“Whatever.” She turned to Mylène. “Should we go check out the fountain then and see what these flowers look like now?”

“Sounds good, Flower Pharaoh!” Mylène replied.

Flower Pharaoh… weird. Giving nicknames to monarchs, like “Queen So-and-so the Wise” or “King McEvil the Terrible” was considered old-fashioned back home. Monarchs were just people, like any other citizens. Not mythological beings with divine powers or whatever. Apparently, though, people from other kingdoms or empires still did that stuff.

It was… kind of cool, actually. Having a flower reputation would be harmless, wouldn’t it?

“I like this nickname.” Alix turned to the nobles. “Tell everyone I’m the Flower Pharaoh. I want an awesome reputation. I’m a snake-whisperer and I can like, totally bless people by throwing flower petals on them. You got that?”

They nodded frantically, their eyes lighting up.

“We’ll tell everyone we know, Your Majesty!”

“And you don’t have to call me Your Majesty,” she added. “Seriously, you can relax. I’m not gonna set my snake on anyone, I promise. He’s too nice to hurt anyone.”

“And so are you!” Mylène said, giving her a pat on the arm.

“Yeah. So am I.”

Thinking back to the start of the last school year, when Mylène would sit right at the edge of the desk in fear, or recoil at every word Alix said to her, or run off quickly at the end of each lesson and staying well out of her way as much as she could… things really had changed for the better. Part of that was certainly to do with Mylène becoming a more confident person and refusing to back down from things that scared her. But maybe some of it was to do with Alix too. Friendship wasn’t nearly so difficult these days.

“We’ll go have a look at that fountain now, thank you for speaking to us,” Mylène said to the nobles, clearly making an effort to sound as regal as possible. They nodded and backed away, curtseying again. Seriously, all that curtseying, wasn’t it bad for their knees? They really didn’t have to do it that much.

For once Mylène led the way to the fountain. She was much more balanced on her skates now, zooming ahead with no fear. Apparently she had been attending duelling club too, along with Sabrina. Everyone seemed to be branching out a lot this year.

Sure enough, the flowers at the fountain had mostly decayed, leaving the structure covered in what looked like black leaves. Hardly any had fallen off – Aurore and Mireille, the weather countesses, had made sure to keep away the cold winter winds, in exchange for more food from Marinette.

“This honestly looks more like you decorated this fountain for Juleka and Rose than Kim and Max,” Mylène said, hands on her hips as she looked up at it.

“Well they were the ones who told me which flowers to buy…”

“You did a really good job!”

“Couldn’t have done it without your help. And the rest of the Royalty Squad.”

Mylène chuckled. “Is that what we’re calling our class now? The Royalty Squad?”

“Lila said that’s what the nobles call us behind our backs, so why not?”

“Royalty Squad. I like it.” She nodded. “Our class is such a team now. Everyone seems to like each other. I guess that’ll do wonders in terms of future alliances when we’re all rulers like you are, Alix.”

Alliances… rulers… oh snap, that reminded her – she had to call Jalil and check how he was going with all that International Alliance business that needed to be sorted out, so that Kim could maybe try to protect himself against assassination attempts. The sooner, the better. Thinking about those poisoned chocolates still filled her with rather murderous impulses.

“I’ve gotta go,” Alix said quickly. “Just remembered I have to call my brother, because… reasons…”

“Oh, no problem! And thank you for the skate lesson! Same time next week?”

“Yep. Oh – and not that you would, but uh… don’t go to the big balcony thing behind the new gym right now. Not until like… later.”

“Why not?”

Alix grinned. “Kim took Max there for a ‘picnic date’ because of the nice weather, and I’m guessing they haven’t left yet. Probably best not to interrupt them.”

“I’ll stay away, I promise!”

“Good. See you later, Mylène.”

She scooped up a handful of black flower petals from the bottom of the fountain, then skated off, letting them trail away behind her as she did so. If “Flower Pharaoh” was her new reputation, she may as well revel in it!

Kim and Max’s picnic date had ended, though they decided to stay here on the large, open balcony anyway. Previously this area had been completely off-limits since it was too close to the sheer drop that led to the river – colloquially called “the moat” – but the new wing’s construction now allowed people to visit and marvel at the view. Luckily not many did. It was nicer to spend time here now, rather than the fountain, which was quickly becoming a bit of a tourist attraction thanks to those flowers.

Lazy, warm afternoons like this had always been idyllic. Plenty of times Kim and Max had spent them together doing homework outdoors, or perhaps just chatting. This time Kim had decided to read a book. His attention span wasn’t normally good enough for such a thing unless it was for homework, but maybe with Max here it would help him. Max was reading a book too, after all, though one that was much longer and looked way more boring.

Not much time had passed before Kim put the book down, bored. He lay back on the tiles and stared at the clouds above, trying to think of what shapes they might be. There was one that looked like some kind of creepy-crawly… and that one there looked kind of like a cat… that one was a fox…

It wasn’t long before Max too had put down his book, preferring to spend this beautiful afternoon cuddling in his sweetheart’s arms. Kim could still hardly believe it – how was it possible that someone he cared so much about could feel the same way in return? Surely the chances of that had to be one in a million. Less, even.

Still… Max really did love him. Max loved him so much he was willing to spend so much time with him, wanting to be with him, feeling that same spark in his heart that Kim did when looking at Max! How was he so lucky that Max felt the same way? After all, Kim’s crushes on Chloé, Adrien, Alix, the Bell twins, and so many others had not worked out. And yet things just felt so easy with Max. So natural.

Even better than pillows…

“What are you thinking about?” Max mumbled, almost sleepily, lifting his head enough for Kim to see his face clearly.

“Oh – um…” Kim knew he must be blushing. Thinking about pillows just had that unfortunate effect on him. “I was just… well, not that I want to kiss you again, but… well maybe a little? But I promise that’s not why I like you! It’s just kissing’s kinda fun sometimes! So like – uh, if you wanted to we could – well it’s up to you but like it would be nice and all – I don’t know, your choice–”

Max rolled his eyes and muttered, “Oh Kim, just kiss me.” Without waiting for a reply, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Kim’s.

Wow… what was it about kissing Max that always made it feel so special? Something always felt so enchanting about it. Perhaps it was just the knowledge that Max wanted this as much as Kim did. Well, whatever it was, it was making time slow down again, more and more, practically grinding to a halt, every second feeling like an eternity…

And this time, neither of them pulled away. Kim hugged Max even tighter, so close, tracing his fingers over the fabric of Max’s shirt, feeling the brooch pressing into his shoulder. He had no idea how much time was passing, but he knew for sure it was longer than it had been before. And he just did not want to stop.

Other than his pillows, the only time he had kissed anyone for this long had been at the winter party. But that was different. It had been so superficial, so meaningless, so devoid of emotion. Fun on the surface, but ultimately it didn’t mean anything to him.

And yet now, the fact that this wasn’t just anyone he was kissing, it was Max, his sweetheart, the boy who loved him back… It felt so different in the best way possible.

The strangest thing was, it was slowly becoming apparent to Kim that Max knew exactly what he was doing. Of course, the guy had probably studied kissing enough to be able to write a thesis on it. But the way he’d occasionally break off to whisper sweet little things like “I love you so much!” into Kim’s ear, sending tingles up his spine, or the way his lips would take lazy detours onto the rest of Kim’s face and neck…

Surely it had to be deliberate? There was no way Max could just know exactly what he was doing so easily. Either he was somehow even smarter than Kim thought, or he’d had help. And that help was probably from Alix, considering the winter party and the other timelines.

Well, whatever. It didn’t matter. All that mattered right now was Max – this precious, wonderful, amazing Max, who Kim just couldn’t get enough of. And clearly Max couldn’t get enough of him either. Somehow, despite everything else happening, for just this one afternoon everything was perfect.

The spring dance arrived sooner than anyone realized. For once it really did feel like spring, what with the blossoms starting to grow on trees and the daffodils popping up everywhere. As usual the event was formal and mandatory for at least an hour.

“Leave immediately after the hour’s up,” Alya told Kim firmly, in the privacy of his bedroom where no one else could hear them.

“Why?” he asked. “Is it that assassin guy again?”

“I can’t be sure. But it’s better to take precautions. I have indeed hired Theo back as a double agent but he hasn’t been completely open with me, so I’d rather not trust him too much. I can’t tell you the details. The point is, make sure you leave.”

Kim gulped. This was all so ominous. He watched as Alya put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, not really feeling it. Thinking about assassins numbed his brain out at this point.

“You’ll be fine, I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you. But you have to trust me, and you have to do what I say. You’ll leave the dance early, right?”

He nodded.

“Good. It’ll probably be boring for you anyway, just like the formal dances always are. Though I suppose this time you have Max to slow-dance with, so maybe it won’t be too bad…”

Oh yes, of course, Max. The thought of him always warmed Kim’s brain up, even when there was an assassin on the loose, even though the danger was far too real to be comfortable.

“How are you so good at all this spy stuff?” he asked.

“I have to be. Césaire is not like other kingdoms. You have to watch your back if you don’t want to end up with a knife in it.” With that, she turned and left.

A knife in the back…

Was that better or worse than poisoned chocolates?

Kim shivered, and it was nothing to do with the temperature. Being a prince was like having a giant target painted on your back at all times. Would he ever have faced these problems if he were a commoner? Or would he be worrying about other things, like trying to get enough money to put food on the table, hoping to survive the next flu pandemic? Maybe trying to avoid death was just a human problem in general, whether royalty or not.

Then again, how could someone willingly be an assassin? Or willingly order someone’s death, someone completely innocent? Well, Kim assumed he was fairly innocent. Maybe he was an idiot sometimes, but not a bad person, right? He didn’t deserve to be killed, did he?

There was no point dwelling on it for now. Time to go get ready.

Formal dances were always boring, and the spring dance was widely considered to be the most boring one of all. Nothing interesting to do, always the best manners expected everywhere, and worst of all, the music choices were bad enough to convince one to set their ears on fire just to get away from the dreary screeching horror of it.

That was why this year, things were going to be different.

“First you spill a drink on Mendeleiev, and she’ll have to go get changed, which leaves me free to sneak past into the backroom and plug in the stereo,” Nino whispered.

Alix nodded. Nino was nowhere near as good at cool secret plans as Alya was, but at least he was trying.

“And then your snake climbs up the rafters and unscrews the chandelier, so it falls in front of the musicians and they freak out and run away.”

That was going to be a disaster, but hey, at least it would be fun to watch.

“Meanwhile you go get the mixtapes I stashed at the back of the food cupboard earlier. The guards should have abandoned it to clean up the chandelier so your coast will be clear.”

“We really don’t need that step, I can make the guards do whatever I want, I’m an expert at intimidation.” She held up her palm – still slightly scarred from when she had grabbed the sword blade to save Adrien all that time ago.

“But we need the musicians gone, so the chandelier has to fall. The guards getting out of your way is more just a bonus convenience thing. So yeah, you get the mixtapes and bring them to me, who by now should have unrolled the extension cord and brought the stereo out to behind the musician area. Then I’ll put in the tapes, your snake will drop the stage curtain from above so no one can see me and try to stop me, and you go to the back of the hall and turn on the speakers. Then you give me the signal.”

“What’s the signal?”

“A text message, of course. Kim isn’t the only one who got a new phone in the holidays. Anyway, then I put a Jagged Stone tape in the stereo and it’ll blast through the speakers, so these poor saps can get a taste of some actual lit music for once in their lives and our buddies Kim and Max can have their jive again.”

This was a bad plan, certainly, a very bad plan. But what was the worst that could happen? Detention, probably. That wasn’t the end of the world. It would be fine. A bit of fun was exactly what everyone needed right now.

“Sounds good,” Alix said, fist-bumping him.

“Awesome, dude. Let’s go.

They headed off in their separate directions.

The first thing that went wrong was Lady Mendeleiev. Alix pretended to trip over and spill a drink on her, but the darn teacher just moved out of the way at the last second.

“I would highly suggest you clean that up,” Lady Mendeleiev said, her tone biting.

“But… um… I’m allergic to strawberry juice. I can’t go near it.”

“Then I fail to understand why you were carrying a glass of it.”

“’Cause I was taking it to my friend Kim…”

“It looks to me like he already has one, as I can clearly see over there, Your Majesty.”

How was it possible that someone could say the words “Your Majesty” and still make it sound like an insult?! Alix saw Nino tiptoeing along behind Mendeleiev towards the backroom. Right – never mind about getting the teacher to go away. Best idea was to stall her for now, long enough for Nino to get past unseen.

“Oh, you’re right!” Alix said, putting a fake-surprised look on her face. “Looks like I need to get my eyesight checked or something, right? I didn’t even see that, what a dork I am…”

“As far as I am aware, your kingdom is one of the most advanced in terms of healthcare and gives you regular check-ups when it comes to eyesight and dentistry, so it seems astonishing that your vision has deteriorated so very quickly to the point where you completely miss something so obvious.”

Oof, ouch. Was it morally okay to use her status as pharaoh to yell at a teacher?

She caught sight of Nino again and took a deep breath. No messing this up now. Yelling could wait.

“Maybe I’m just really tired,” she said quickly. “Haven’t had much sleep. Lots of homework, you know.”

Lady Mendeleiev looked down at her sternly. “There has been neither more nor less homework than the usual amount. If I may suggest practising the skill known as time management, Your Majesty?”

Ugh, this was getting tedious. Alix already hated talking to teachers, and especially this teacher in particular. She took a swig of the remaining juice in the glass before muttering, “Yeah, I’ll try.”

“Is Your Majesty alright? I believe you just ingested a significant amount of the juice that you are allergic to.”

Oh shoot – she had totally forgotten she’d said that!

“Um, turns out I was mistaken, this isn’t strawberry juice after all, it’s coconut!” she said hastily. Nino was out of sight now, having safely made it, so her job here was done. “And it was great so I’m gonna go get some more so goodbye…”

She walked off as quick as possible. Coconut juice, really?! Was that even a real thing?

The next thing that failed to go off as planned was the chandelier. Alix stood watching from below, her pet snake just about visible up there on the ceiling beams – ones that reminded her rather uncomfortably of the balancing beam in the inevitable detention awaiting her, to pay for all her antics today.

The snake seemed to be struggling with the chandelier. It spun it around in one direction several times, but that didn’t seem to make a difference, so it spun in the other direction for a while, though that didn’t change anything either. Then it tried giving the chandelier a vigorous shake. The glass panels rattled but it still did not fall.

By this point the noise was beginning to cause a commotion down below. Some of the nobles were pointing up at the chandelier, watching the snake, more amused now. Even a few of the guards at the side of the room had noticed and were looking upwards.

Not good, not good – there was only one person in school who had a pet snake, and no doubt she would be asked to get him down from there before his chandelier job was done! Time to get out of here. Next stage of the plan couldn’t wait.

She escaped into one of the side corridors and headed towards the food cupboard. There were two guards standing in front of it. She cracked her knuckles – intimidation time.

“I really need to get into that food cupboard,” she said.

“Sorry, Your Majesty, we are forbidden from letting anyone in.”

“But I want more food.”

“There is already a large amount of food on the tables out in the hall, so…”

A huge amount of stubborn responses rushed through her head. I don’t want to eat food that’s been touched by those lowly nobles! Do as I say, I have more authority in my little finger than anyone else at this school does in their whole body! Do you know what this headdress means? I am a divine pharaoh, hear me roar!

Yeah… those all sounded pretty mean.

“Look,” she sighed, “me and my friend are playing a practical joke kinda thing because everyone at this lame dance is bored to death and I swear I’m not gonna rat you out or force you to obey me because I’m a monarch, just please let me in that cupboard.”

She hadn’t really expected it to work. But the two guards looked at each other, grinned, then stepped aside to leave a space.

“Go ahead, Your Majesty. You students aren’t the only ones who are bored.”

Yes, thank god! She rushed past them and opened the doors. Most of the cupboard was filled with food, of course, very tempting food that smelled delicious, but she ignored all that and went for the tapes that Nino had hidden in the corner. There were three of them, so she shoved them in one of her pockets and then headed back to the main hall.

The first thing she noticed was that the snake had still not managed to unscrew the chandelier, which meant that the poor underpaid musicians were still there playing that vile excuse for music. The second thing she noticed was that Nino had been caught coming out of the backroom with the stereo and seemed to be getting a stern telling-off from Lady Mendeleiev.

Time for desperate measures.

Alix went right up to the musician area and then pointed at the floor yelling, “THERE’S A GIANT SPIDER THERE!”

The effect was immediate. Half the musicians jumped out of their seats, dropping their instruments in panic, tripping over each other in their mad hurry to get away. All the nearby nobles scampered backwards, and entertainingly enough, out of the corner of her eye she saw Kim leaping right into Max’s arms in terror.

Lady Mendeleiev turned away from Nino and headed towards the commotion. “What on earth is going on here?”

“There’s a spider!” the musicians were screeching, in total hysterics now, waving their bows and flutes and whatnot in the vague direction of the area beneath the chandelier. Lady Mendeleiev walked over there and began looking for the non-existent spider. Meanwhile everyone else was watching intently, half in fear, half in amusement.

Alix ran over to Nino. “Snake couldn’t undo the chandelier so I had to improvise… anyway, here are the tapes.” She dumped them in his hands. “Looks like you’ll have to find somewhere else to play your music from ‘cause the musician area is currently under scrutiny for an imaginary spider.”

“Thanks, dude, you’re a real one.” He ruffled the tuft of hair sticking out from beneath her headdress. “I’ll go find a hidey spot. Meanwhile you go turn on the speakers and then message me so I can start playing the music. Got that?”

“Got it.”

“Neato. See you later, partner-in-crime!”

He walked off with the stereo. Alix cut her way around the crowd of nobles and made it to the back of the room without any more mishaps, somehow, and turned on the speakers. There! Something had actually gone according to plan for once! She pulled her phone out of her pocket to let Nino know…

Only to realize that she didn’t have Nino’s number.

Duh.

And she had no idea where he was hiding.

Oh come on!!!!!!!

A few swear words later, she managed to calm down enough to think about what to do. Alya would know his number, right? Alya knew everything – and especially everything to do with Nino.

Scanning her eyes across the crowd, she saw Alya standing not too far away, watching her already, smirking.

“Alya I need your help,” she said, going over immediately. “I need Nino’s number ‘cause I kinda lost him and I really really need to talk to him.”

Alya took a lazy sip from the glass in her hand. “Let me guess. He’s roped you into helping him with his music plan.”

“How do you know?”

“There’s no point asking me that, because I never tell my ways. But you’re in luck this time. The answer is quite simple – he tried to get me to help with the plan first. But I told him it was a disaster waiting to happen, as fun as it sounded, and to go for someone more willing to get themselves into trouble. Like you.”

“I’m not willing to–”

“Yes you are. And plus, I’m a little busy tonight. Keeping an eye on some people. For protection purposes.”

Protection purposes… Kim, that must be for Kim.

“Fair enough,” Alix said. “But seriously, can you give me Nino’s number?”

“Hmm… you’ll have to give me something in exchange.”

“No, I’m not bloody telling you what happened in that lift, okay?”

“That’s not what I’m after this time, since I know you’ll never tell me that. I want to know something else. Something that’s nothing to do with you, don’t worry, it’s just a matter of curiosity. Now, I believe you’ve been keeping in touch with your brother back home, haven’t you? For certain reasons? But I’m sure you must discuss matters other than that too, such as world news, things that he can find out over there much quicker than we can all the way here in the north. So tell me – what are these rumours concerning the musician Jagged Stone?”

Just that? Oh, thank goodness. Alix had been hoping Alya wouldn’t ask something she wouldn’t want to answer.

“Jalil says Jagged Stone’s eloping with Queen Sol’s daughter,” she replied. “Well, eloping maybe isn’t the right word, since Sol doesn’t mind at all. I don’t think she cares if Princess Penny marries a prince or a rock star. And apparently Sol’s gonna be very busy in the next month or so, making arrangements for weddings, doing damage control for those who don’t approve of royals marrying commoners, stuff like that, which means the chances of her being around to help with International Alliance stuff is pretty low…”

She didn’t say anymore, not here where anyone could hear. Queen Sol would certainly be too busy these holidays to help Kim with an alliance, which was really a shame, since that might mean the difference between life or death for him, and she had no idea.

“Thanks for letting me know,” Alya said. “Anyway, give me your phone. I’ll type in Nino’s number.”

Alix handed her the compacted sceptre. Alya put the number in, then gave it back.

“Here you go. I hope your plan doesn’t backfire spectacularly.”

“It already has a bunch of times, but thank you.”

Alix quickly sent a message to Nino, walking away as she did so, wondering when she’d hear the rock music start playing, looking forward to the stunned looks on everyone’s faces when their spring dance turned into something they could never have imagined–

Only to walk directly into Lady Mendeleiev.

“Was it you who started the spider rumour?”

“Uh…” Alix quickly stuffed her phone back in one of her pockets. “…What spider rumour?”

“A spider rumour that would have been very hard to miss, Your Majesty, unless you were either out of the room before the mandatory one-hour attendance period was over, or are extremely inattentive and oblivious to anything going on right in front of your eyes.”

“Okay, okay, I started the rumour. But there totally was a spider there! I swear there was.”

“There was not. You seem to have been very sorely mistaken.”

“Well… maybe it ran away?”

Lady Mendeleiev put her hands on her hips and stood up yet taller, towering over her like a scarecrow. “I think not.”

Uh-oh, she was in trouble, she was so in trouble. Maybe she could think of a way out of this? This happened all the time with the guards back home, and she had all sorts of excuses… fake excuses… ones that never worked, and she got grounded… yep, she was definitely going to get a detention this time, that was for sure…

There was a crash behind her. She turned around to see the chandelier in pieces on the floor, everyone staring in shock. The snake was slithering over to her at top speed and had curled its way up onto her arm within a few seconds.

Alix barely even dared look back at Mendeleiev. She didn’t have to, though, to hear the ice in her voice, so cold and sharp it cut through the sudden silence audible to every person in the room.

“Was your snake just responsible for dropping that chandelier?”

Well… yeah…

Alright, there was no excuse that could get her out of this one. This time, she was well and truly screwed.

At that exact moment, the iconic electric guitar riffs of Jagged Stone’s new album began surging through the speakers at top volume. Everyone covered their ears in shock – it was so loud the very floor seemed to be shaking. The bad acoustics caused the sound to bounce off the walls continuously in every direction until what was once distinguishable was now just a cacophony of noise.

Yep, the plan had failed pretty magnificently. There was only one thing for it.

“Flower Pharaoh out!”

She threw out a handful of flower petals she had been keeping in her pocket for situations like these, then turned around and sprinted out of the hall as fast as she could.

Detention was inescapable, that was for sure. It was probably just better to accept it. She didn’t stop running until she made it to the royalty dorms where she saw that–

Kim? What was he doing here?

“Why aren’t you back at the dance?” she snapped, finally stopping to catch her breath.

He seemed bewildered. “Alya told me to leave early!”

Oh, so it was Kim who Alya had been protecting. Made sense.

“And also I didn’t want to go near that spider,” he continued, crossing his arms. “Not that I’m scared of spiders.”

So the whole plan was for nothing? Even if the music had sounded good in that cursed hall, Kim wasn’t even there? Who was Max supposed to dance with then?!

“There was no spider, Kim.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” She gritted her teeth. “And I am in the biggest trouble I’ve ever been in.”

“Pffffffff, can’t be any bigger trouble than I’ve been in, ‘cause you know me.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Sure. I’ll give you my last chocolate bar if I’m wrong. I kinda hate chocolate these days anyway.”

“Kim, I got on the wrong side of Mendeleiev like three times by first trying to spill a drink on her and then blatantly lying loads, tricked guards into letting me into the food cupboard, was complicit in a plan that probably deafened anyone standing within three metres of the speakers, caused a mass panic with the spider thing, threw flower petals at a teacher, oh, and my snake dropped a fucking chandelier right in the middle of a fucking crowded dance hall during an awkward silence with nobility and royalty from every fucking country in the vicinity knowing what I did and Mendeleiev’s probably gonna tell my dad and I won’t be allowed to bring my snake back to school because I’m a fucking idiot.”

He blinked a few times. “Uh… you didn’t need to swear so much…”

“Fuck you, I do what I want.”

She pushed him out of the way and walked past him, not stopping until she was in her own dorm and had locked the door behind her.

Right from the beginning, back when she had started at this school, she knew that her snake being here was a risk. Everyone was afraid of the poor thing. Thinking the worst of it. She had almost not even been allowed to bring it along. But she had hoped that maybe, by showing everyone that it was completely harmless, it would be allowed to stay.

And now stupid recklessness had probably ruined that! She wasn’t trying to do anything bad, so why did stuff like this still happen? Was she not thinking things through enough again? Was she already on the path to another bad timeline, one where her chandelier-dropping snake would be forced to stay at home, far away from her, with no way for her to protect it?

Her phone started ringing. Huh, it was Nino. What did he want now?

“My dude, that was the raddest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!” he screeched as soon as she picked up. She could hear a Jagged Stone track playing faintly in the background.

“What was?”

“I was up on the side balcony to play the music, I saw the way your snake crashed that chandelier and then you threw those petals and made your exit! You should have seen the way the nobles were cheering!”

“Wait, what?”

“They totally loved it too!” Nino’s voice was overflowing with pride and admiration. “Everyone was shook and I managed to turn down the music enough for people to actually hear it, and they all started dancing, and Mendeleiev was actually laughing, I’ve legit never seen her do that before, didn’t even think she could. But yeah! I guess I might get in trouble for actually making the plan but as for you, I think your audacity might’ve saved you, ‘cause I’m pretty sure the nobles would riot if their Flower Pharaoh was put into detention for being so iconic.”

Mendeleiev, laughing? The world ending was more likely than that. Alix barely even allowed her hopes up.

“So you think I might not be in trouble?” she asked.

“Nah, dude, you were way too cool for that. The spring dance is boring. That was the break everyone needed.”

“But it was your plan, not mine!”

“The spider and the flower petals certainly weren’t my plan, even if the Jagged Stone was. And I could never have pulled it off without your help. So thanks for that.”

“Hey, no problem. But seriously, you think they’ll let me keep my snake at school even after the chandelier thing?”

“They’re not just gonna tell a monarch that she can’t have a pet, are they? I mean, can they even do that?”

She smiled, feeling much relieved. “No, they probably can’t.”

“Then I guess your snake’s cool.”

“Awesome. Thanks, Nino.”

“No worries, Flower Pharaoh. And if I don’t see you before the holidays start tomorrow, have a good time.”

“Yeah, you too. See you.”

She hung up, then gave the snake a little rub on the head.

“We sure had a lucky escape today, didn’t we pal?”

The snake hissed gently, resting its head on her shoulder. Well… maybe luck wasn’t the right way to put it. It was her reputation that had saved her today. The nobles actually liked her. They weren’t afraid of her. And neither were her fellow royals, considering all those friendship stickers that she couldn’t bring herself to throw away. People actually liked her!

So maybe she wasn’t doing such a bad job after all.

#this is like 5 separate chapters in one and i wrote the little kimax part in the middle months ago #next week's chapter is gonna be even worse because Reasons #miraculous ladybug #royalty au #le chien kim #max kante #kimax #alix kubdel #mylene haprele #nino lahiffe #the misadventures of prince kim #random stuff #aish writes #hnnnnnnnng i'm going to bed

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