#he gets a pass bc he's dumb and loves his wife
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i can't swim, idiot ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ choi beomgyu
choi beomgyu x fem!reader , tags: best friends to lovers au , beomgyu is annoying(ly cute) , fake dating? nah... fake married? bingo! , reader is so fed up with beomgyu how is he still alive , fluff , black cat x golden retriever dynamic ??? , hinted bisexual!beomgyu happy pride month , hinted pining , nsfw , some cliche moments bc who doesn't love a good cliche
warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns and is referred to as a wife and "mrs" , cursing , playfully (?) threatening each other's lives , soft dom!beomgyu , sub!reader , pool sex , unprotected sex , marking , praise , creampie , cum eating , morning sex <3 , cunninglus (fem receiving) , overstimulation , dry humping , big dick gyu community please gather
a/n: another summer fic for you lovelies!! <3 i hope you guys enjoy this as much as i had fun writing it! (not edited yet!)
song recs: island - youha, spotless mind - jhene aiko, nature feels - frank ocean
wc: 10.7k+
[I THINK WE JUST GOT SCAMMED.]
“wait, wait, wait. you did what?”
you slowly lower your lukewarm cup onto the cafe table before taking out your airpods—no music is playing, but you want to be 100% sure you heard him right. your best friend shoots you a lopsided grin from across the table, stirring his drink with the chewed straw in between his fingers.
“i entered us into an exclusive giveaway for married couples to win a trip to greece for a week?”
one by one, you can feel your brain cells begin to die off at his words, your eye twitching while beomgyu smiles innocently at you.
“beomgyu, i’m going to ask you a simple question and i want a simple answer.” pinching the bridge of your nose, you inhale for a second before meeting his eyes with the most exasperated gaze you've ever worn in your life. “why?”
the brown-haired boy is all too quick with a reply.
“why not?” beomgyu shrugs, his tiny grin morphing into something menacing on his lips—as if this is the funniest thing that has ever happened to him in all of his 22 years of life.
you have the sudden passing thought to throw your coffee at his face, but that’s a precious $6 you’d never get back, so you refrain from doing so. instead, you take a slow, deep breath and momentarily close your eyes. “god, if you’re out there, please, please give me patience.”
“i’m pretty sure the phrase is ‘god give me strength’,” beomgyu retorts from his seat across from you, sipping annoyingly on his nearly empty caramel frappe.
you blink at him once, twice. “if god gave me strength, you’d be in a casket right now.”
beomgyu simply cackles at your response, feigning a scared face with his hands up like he’s being held at gunpoint before he continues to laugh at his own mockery. you kick him under the table, successfully wiping that wide smile off of his dumb face.
“what was that for?” beomgyu whines with a pout, reaching down to rub his shin. a few heads turn to see what the ruckus is about and you shoot them a polite, apologetic smile and bow before turning back to mr. drama queen. the kick wasn’t even that hard.
“did you even think about what would happen if we actually won? we don’t have the time nor the money for a resort in greece.”
“oh, calm down, y/n. you know no one ever actually wins those things, right? they’re all scams.” beomgyu waves you off with his hand before bringing the green straw back up to his lips, your ears bleeding at the sound of his obnoxious slurping. you can’t stand his face.
“and how are you so sure of that?”
“because i entered that nickelodeon giveaway thing when i was 11 and never heard back from them.”
you blink at him again, thrice this time—just in case you’ve been transported into a different dimension and a stupidity demon has possessed your best friend’s body. nonetheless, beomgyu is still grinning idiotically as he chews on his straw, tilting his head at you like a maltese.
“please be so serious right now.”
“i am! plus, even if we do win—which we won’t—and it’s not a scam… shit, that’s a free trip to greece!”
the joy on his face boils your blood to no end. he’s truly dense; you can’t believe you’re insane enough to call him your other half. everything on earth must be balanced out, you suppose—the yin to your yang.
“have you considered the fact that we aren’t married?” you cock your head at him, hands folded on top of the table, speaking slowly as if you’re talking to a child… hold on, wait—you literally are.
“shoot—could’ve fooled me!” beomgyu lets out a puff of laughter. “we might as well be.”
you blink at him again.
“please don’t ever say that again. i think i just threw up in my mouth.”
beomgyu rolls his eyes before snatching his phone out of his pocket with the speed of light to show you the flier he had screenshotted. he shoves the phone in your face, tapping incessantly at the bottom text of the photo.
“look. it says all expenses paid.”
you stare at him with a silent ‘so what?’ and beomgyu sighs dramatically as he lowers his phone. he has the nerve to be exasperated with you? you’ll never understand where men get the pure audacity.
“so you’re going to look me in the eye and tell me you wouldn’t pretend to be my wife for a few days so we can get a free trip to greece?”
you look him straight in the eye. “beomgyu, i’d rather be burned on a stake.”
“yea, 'cause you’re a fucking witch,” he mumbles under his breath, trying to hold in his laughter. you don’t know how much more patience you have with him, so you simply exhale, checking the clock on your phone.
“i don’t have time for this—i gotta get to my lecture,” you huff out, standing as you grab your bag that sits by your feet. beomgyu pitifully whines, looking up at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes known to man.
“would you seriously not do it?”
it’s now your turn to laugh, picking up your coffee to take a big sip. you’re gonna need the caffeine.
“those things are scams, gyu—you said it yourself! see you later.”
☆
nights are oh, so serene, you think, as your head hits your fluffy pillow later that night. you’re freshly showered and tucked under your covers, snug as a bug in a rug as you doze off to the lovely scent of your hibiscus air freshener and the quiet waves of your sleep sounds machine. there’s no need to count sheep—you’re completely drained from all of the walking you had to do today. all of your classes just so happen to be on opposite sides of the campus, and you’re sure your step counter is on the verge of exploding by now.
your mattress feels even comfier today, a slight breeze coming through your cracked window, balancing out the heat from your thick duvet. it takes no time at all for you to be tugged under by the lust of sleep, drifting off to a perfect dreamland full of bright colors and open fields and your blaring ringtone.
wait.
your ringtone?
you don’t even bother to open your eyes, patting around your bed for your phone before you feel the cool screen against your fingertips. it takes a few failed swipes to actually answer, mumbling out a half-asleep “hello?” as you lazily press the device to your ear.
“hi, my wonderful bff. my world, my girl, my bro, my home-shizzle! hypothetically, on a scale of one to ten, how mad would you be if i told you that the greece trip thing wasn’t a scam? and that we won? and that we leave in 2 days? hypothetically.”
the silence is incredibly loud.
…
“eleven.”
[NEWLYWEDS.]
three months ago, if you were to tell yourself that you would be adorning a fake amazon wedding ring with your best friend’s arm wrapped around your waist as you stand inside some modern insurance firm being interviewed as a newlywed couple—well, you probably would’ve admitted yourself into the nearest asylum.
you don’t know what choices from your past led you to this moment, forcing a smile as a middle-aged woman with the cleanest-cut bob you’ve ever seen enthusiastically shakes your hand before moving on to beomgyu’s. he seems completely unfazed and the thought alone irks your soul to no end.
truthfully, this is all your fault. if you would’ve just told beomgyu that you are not going to pretend to be his wife for a week, you would’ve never ended up in this situation in the first place. but can anyone blame you when he offered to pay for your coffee every single day for the next 6 months, and wash your car, and take out your trash for as long as you ask him to?
right! any sane person would’ve said yes, too!
so here you are as mrs. choi (gag), laughing along as the lady cracks a few jokes, complimenting beomgyu’s silky hair and your bright smile before sighing dreamily.
“my goodness, aren’t you two just the cutest newlyweds i’ve ever seen! how many months has it been?”
beomgyu looks down at you with a soft smile; anyone who is meeting him for the first time would’ve taken the gaze as something filled with pure adoration and undiluted love… but you know him. you see the way his eyes sparkle with mischief, the annoying quirk of his playful grin, and the pure amusement that washes over his features at your subtle glare.
he’s having way too much fun with this.
you pinch his side hard, a small bout of victory washing over you as he flinches.
deserved.
“we’re coming up on three months now?” beomgyu speaks through slightly gritted teeth before looking back up at the short woman, sending a charming smile her way. she squeals, bouncing on her heels and you bite back a grimace at the sheer volume.
“we decided to travel a bit before settling down and buying a home here in seoul,” you speak robotically, following the exact script you both came up with in your notes app on facetime last night. beomgyu hums in affirmation, tapping your side in a silent “good job”.
“awe! how sweet is that? what a wonderful idea to travel together while you're still young and nimble, unlike this old lady right here.” the lady honks out a laugh as she points to herself with her thumbs. you glance over at beomgyu who seems to be having the time of his life and—the regret of saying yes quickly settles deep in your bones. “you pair are such a lovely and beautiful couple!”
her high-pitched and overly enthusiastic voice pierces your ears and you can already feel the headache coming on.
“well, what can i say? it was love at first sight. i knew i had to make her mine and see the world with her as soon as possible,” beomgyu smoothly recites, gazing back down at you with the same look as before. you feel the bile rise in your throat. the words are so foreign to your ears, it’s almost jarring. the lady doesn’t even notice your discomfort and continues on and on about how cute you both are, how you remind her of her niece, and how beomgyu should totally be a model.
you force the fakest smile ever as beomgyu pinches your side, a cue for you to speak up. resisting the urge to punch him for pinching you (even though you had done it first), you simply nod along with an artificial laugh, your hand coming up to rest on his chest in faux infatuation.
ew.
“marrying beomgyu was the best decision i’ve ever made. i’ve never been happier.”
you swear you feel your eye twitch as the lady coos—she claps her hands excitedly, her short bob bouncing with the movement.
“how heartwarming! i’m sure this trip will bring you even closer, shedding a new light on the glitter of your love for decades to come!”
you and beomgyu are silent for a beat—because what the fuck is she even saying?—before awkwardly laughing, nodding along in hopes that she’ll wrap this up quickly. the lady’s smile doesn’t falter for a second as a stiffness fills the air, clapping her hands again as he ushers you two towards the lyft.
“better get a move on so you don’t miss your flight! i hope you have a wonderful time, lovebirds! and congratulations once again!”
the car is absolutely silent as you both settle in after all of your luggage is loaded up. beomgyu has this annoying, close-lipped smile on his face, his lips pursed like a duck—he’s so obviously trying to hold in his laughter as you grumble under your breath, snatching that stupid plastic ring off of your finger.
you glance at him before rolling your eyes. “go ahead.”
in the blink of an eye, his boisterous laughter fills the car, high and squeaky, and you silently empathize with the lyft driver who subtly turns the radio up to combat the intrusive noise. beomgyu’s doubled over, patting his leg as he gasps for air, eyes squeezed shut; and as much as you hate to admit it, your own lips quirk up into a small smile at the sound. curse your best friend and his contagious laughter.
“i can’t believe we just did that,” beomgyu heaves out before another round of giggles leaves his lips. he reaches up to push his hair out of his face before wiping at his eyes dramatically.
“i didn’t think i had it in me,” you agree, giving in to the grin that slowly spreads across your face. you make the horrible decision of meeting beomgyu’s eyes, and it takes less than a millisecond for you both to aggressively burst out laughing, bodies falling against each other's as your limbs grow weak.
“no, that was the funniest shit ever, i swear. we sold it.”
“for a second, i actually thought you were really in love with me.” your laughter slowly dies down as beomgyu lifts himself off of you, his chest rising and falling quickly as he attempts to catch his breath. you’re sure you don’t look any better—you definitely have abs after all of that.
“i just had to pretend that you were i.u,” beomgyu admits with an overexaggerated dreamy look off into the distance. you’re quick to fall into another fit of laughter but for a different reason this time.
“i.u doesn’t date freaks.”
beomgyu’s lips dramatically pout as he crosses his arms over his chest like a little kid, scoffing at your comment. “why do you always have to crush my dreams?”
“i don’t always crush your dreams. only when they’re stupid.”
“so… always?”
“no—yes.”
beomgyu’s quiet for a moment, turning his head to look out the window. his eyebrows are slightly furrowed, but the expression quickly smooths out as he turns towards you, uncrossing his arms to play with the fake ring on his finger.
“i’m not taking the couch.”
“what?”
“it’s a couple’s suite. i’m taking the bed since i’m the one who entered us in the first place.”
you resist the urge to roll your eyes again—your mother had told you that one day your eyeballs would get stuck in the back of your head, and right now, that idea didn’t seem so bad. beomgyu’s teasing smile is anger-inducing, and you think you might rip it off if you have to look at it any longer.
“what happened to chivalry? i’m your wife now, so as the man, you have to give me the bed.”
“fuck chivalry! you’re mean to me. i owe you nothing,” beomgyu huffs, squinting his eyes at you.
“i’m not mean to you,” you immediately defend, hitting his arm for even making such heinous accusations. beomgyu gasps, reaching up to hold his arm where you made impact.
“see? mean!” once again, the dramatics are almost admirable—there’s no way that hurt. he’s been hitting the gym with his roommate taehyun lately, and you’ve seen the way he’s bulked up from the scrawny shrimp boy he used to be in high school. if anything, the hit hurt you!
“let’s play rock paper scissors, then. two out of three gets the bed.”
beomgyu huffs, but obediently holds up his fist. “fine.”
three games pass by in a blur.
“you cheated!” he whines, pointing his finger at you with wide eyes, his eyebrows shot up into his hairline.
“how did i cheat? just admit you suck ass, mr. couch.” your triumphant smile results in another whine from the loser next to you, putting his fist back up for a rematch. “no, i already won!”
“you’re lucky i love you.” beomgyu’s quick to give up, a tiny smile appearing on his face at the way you pretend to gag at his words.
those butterflies in your stomach are only because you skipped breakfast that morning—totally not because of the soft gaze he sends your way, mindlessly playing with the plastic ring on his finger as you two fall into a comfortable silence. totally.
☆
this sucks.
today is the first time you’ve ever ridden in first class, and you can’t even enjoy it because of the exhaustion running rampant through your veins. there’s a reason why you picked all afternoon and late night lectures; why you avoid any invitations to go out for breakfast with your friends; and why you have blackout curtains on all of your windows. you are not a morning person, whatsoever, and with that 8 a.m interview and your flight at 10 on the dot, you’re absolutely beat.
for starters, pretending to actually be in love with your best friend in front of a lady who cannot speak at a normal, human volume is more taxing than swimming from portugal to australia with no breaks. you swear. second, beomgyu has apparently never ridden an airplane before and therefore has no idea what airport etiquette is.
(“you have to put all of your electronics in the bins, okay?”
“when i go through the x-ray thing, will they see my underwear? oh my god, no, will they see my dick?”
“no, they won’t see your dick, beomgyu.”
“but how do you know they won’t see my dick? sick fucks.”
“they’re literally doing their job, beomgyu.”
“they can do their job without looking at my dick!”
“they aren’t going to see your dick!”
the lady in front of you covers her kid's ears as she shoots you two the nastiest glare you’ve ever seen. you both bow in apology before you flick beomgyu on the back of his neck.)
you can barely keep your eyes open as you watch some marvel movie on the little screen in front of you, fighting to at least stay awake long enough to order dinner. it’s futile, though, because you’re already blacking out every few minutes, head lulling side to side like a bobblehead.
you finally give up the battle, reminding yourself that there will be endless food at the resort, so you settle yourself into your plush seat, resting your cheek against your neck pillow. from this angle, you have a perfect view of beomgyu who’s in the secluded seat next to you, and—oh.
he looks… he looks softer than usual, only illuminated by the natural light emerging through the circular windows. his hair is slightly mussed from his fingers, his long fringe hanging over his eyes in such a way that he has to keep shaking it out of his vision. he has his earbuds in, watching the sky through the tiny window next to him with his bottom lip in between his teeth—a habit he’s had since he was young. you know he’s thinking, lost in his mind abyss by the way his fingers fidget with the end of his shirt, his leg shaking incessantly.
“hey, gyu,” you call out quietly so as to not disturb anyone else around you. his music must’ve been turned down low, seeing as his eyes find yours at the call of his name, taking an earbud out to hear you better. “you okay?”
if there’s one thing you know about your best friend, it’s when he’s nervous. it shows with the way his leg doesn’t stop moving, even as he nods out a yes in reply to your question, seeing his jaw move as he grinds his teeth together.
“the plane keeps shaking,” he whispers, eyes wide and worried as a little bit of turbulence rocks the cabin right after he finishes speaking. even in your tired state, you can’t help but laugh softly at his animated expression, shaking your head.
“are you scared?” the teasing tone in your voice is apparent—beomgyu rapidly shakes his head in disagreement, but you see right through him as his hand grips the armrest, eyebrows knitted together. everything in your nature tells you to tease him, rile him up a bit, poke fun at him—but he genuinely looks concerned, and you’re too tired to come up with anything witty to say. instead…
“it’s just turbulence. you’re okay, gyu.”
you watch the way beomgyu relaxes ever so slightly, nodding his head as his grip loosens. you send him a little smile, not bothering to wait for him to smile back before turning your head the other way, finally letting sleep pull you under.
[FREE MARGARITAS.]
you don’t get a single moment to look around the resort because as soon as you both lug all of your things into your suite, you’re told a romantic, candle-lit dinner on the beach just down the hill has been reserved for you two as a welcome gift by the company. you’re not complaining of course, but you still would’ve liked to at least get acquainted with the area before indulging in everything.
it takes you an hour and a half to get ready; partially because beomgyu’s showers take forever. he’s in there singing along to some random 70s hits playlist, having the time of his life, while you take the time to look around the suite.
it’s huge, to say the least. a single pod building that sits on a hill full of others alike with pristine white walls and elegant decoration—it’s almost 3 times bigger than your own apartment and you can only imagine how much all of this would’ve cost. wide, open windows line the walls with marbled tile underneath your feet, the furniture ranging from white to beige to a palette of blues, mimicking the colors of the beach in the distance.
outside is a wide patio with a glistening pool and comfy lounge area, complete with a loveseat and a swing. it has the perfect view of the coast, the sun already lowering behind the horizon. it’s absolutely breathtaking, and you make sure to take plenty of pictures, even posting a few on your instagram story (without tagging beomgyu, because you’re pissed at how long he’s taking in the bathroom.)
by the time he comes out, his hair is blow-dried and pushed out of his face with a headband. he looks like casper the friendly ghost with the white facemask he adorns and you stifle a laugh at the thought.
you force yourself to dismiss the way he only has a towel wrapped around his waist, chest completely bare as he strides over to his suitcase—he doesn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence as he pulls out the most formal thing he can find, dropping it onto the bed.
“you gonna shower or what?” he asks over his annoyingly broad shoulder, hands reaching down to undo the towel around his waist. a yelp leaves your lips at the sudden movement, covering your eyes as you rush towards the bathroom.
“you’re disgusting!” you yell before slamming the door shut, locking it for good measure. his cackles ring throughout the suite and you flick him off from behind the wall—he can’t see it, but you want to at least get it out of your system.
halfway through your shower, you realize you forgot to bring your clothes into the bathroom to change. you blame this all on beomgyu—half because somehow every inconvenience in your life is all his fault and half because you just want a reason to ignore the way you keep thinking about how toned he’s gotten recently. you mentally make it your mission to shut down every single gym in his vicinity.
you wrap your towel tight around your body before cracking the door open, the cool air from the a/c attacking your skin like icicles. poking your head out, you scan the room for any sign of your counterpart, but the room seems to be completely empty. you wait a few seconds, just in case he decides to make any unannounced appearances before deeming the room safe enough to enter. the coast is clear.
you rush over to your suite case, unzipping it to find an appropriate dress, deciding on a white one to match the white button-up beomgyu had pulled out. you grab your makeup bag, as well as your perfume and it isn’t until you stand back up to find refuge in the bathroom that you notice the figure in the doorway. you jump in surprise, a small scream escaping your lips as you wrap your arms around yourself defensively.
“you fucking stalker,” you huff as he doubles over in laughter.
“oh my god, you should’ve seen your face,” he gasps, holding his hand to his stomach as his entire body vibrates with cackles. despite the venomous glare you send his way, your eyes can’t help but catch onto the fact that beomgyu cleans up nicely.
you’ve gotten so used to beomgyu’s endless collection of sweatpants and hoodies that the thought of him looking like an a-list celebrity never once crossed your mind. the top few buttons of his shirt are undone, exposing the smooth expanse of his chest, appropriately decorated with a few layered necklaces. it seems like he decided to trade out his usual dangly earrings and ear piercings for simple studs that shine when the chandelier above you hits them.
those black dress pants hug his legs in a way that makes you swallow, feeling your body grow warm at the way he tucks his hands into his pockets. he cocks his head at you curiously, a jesting smile on his lips—he looks infuriatingly good, to the point where you have to physically rip your eyes away from him.
“like what you see?” he badgers while he strolls into the room, as if he can see right through your little facade. you scoff, holding your stuff tight to your chest as you flee towards the bathroom again.
“what happened to privacy?” you make sure to completely ignore his previous question—he can tell all too easily when you’re lying, and you really don’t feel like being teased relentlessly tonight.
“what’s the issue? you’re my wife now, aren’t you?” his voice is provoking, playful as you burn through him with another intense glare.
“beomgyu, i promise you, i will drown you in that pool if you say another word.” and then you happily slam the door shut in his face.
“no, you won’t! you love me too much,” he singsongs from behind the door. all you can do is roll your eyes because—yes. yes, you do.
☆
you don’t think you’ve ever seen beomgyu act so… gentlemanly ever since he tried to get his 6th grade crush to like him back—but this time, without the weird phrases he stole from western movies and the electric blue braces that lined his teeth.
he’s committed to this husband act; pulling your chair out for you and pushing you in after you take a seat, kissing the back of your hand (you kicked him under the table at that), and even telling you that you look, and you quote, “absolutely stunning, baby.”
you hope your discontentment isn’t showing too obviously through your forced smiles and giggles, that plastic wedding band around your ring finger uncomfortably sticking to your skin.
you can’t deny the fact that the dinner is really nice, though. never in your life would you have thought you’d be drinking expensive wines and eating 5-star cuisine on a beach with your childhood best friend—you’re pretty sure 14-year-old y/n would’ve complained about how it should’ve been choi soobin from 4th period instead of beomgyu, but you’ll take what you can get.
in all honesty, it simply feels like a normal dinner out with your best friend. you both still laugh and joke as usual, reminiscing on the time when beomgyu forgot to take out his retainer before his band performed at the school festival in 10th grade, resulting in a slurred rendition of sk8er boi by avril lavigne and a crowd full of giggling onlookers. (if you had to threaten a few people to leave beomgyu alone about it afterward, then so be it.)
the thing is, it’s not hard to let go around beomgyu. you’ve known each other since you were in diapers; defending beomgyu from bullies in elementary, attending all of his self-made band’s concerts, and hanging out on your rooftop eating popsicles and gummy worms. you could complain all you’d like about his teasing, his constant, exuberated nature, and his inane questions, but there’s no one else that you’d put your life on the line for, other than the puppy-like man in front of you.
his eyes sparkle with the reflection of the candlelight as he rambles on about how he genuinely thought planes did a loopty-loop before taking off and your heart aches with a sort of warmth you’ve been trying to dismiss for so long.
the dinner ends all too quickly, and by the time you down your last glass, you realize you’re slightly tipsy. you’ve always been a lightweight, but you really didn’t think you drank that much—you must’ve been too distracted by beomgyu’s crazy stories to acknowledge the waiter constantly filling your glass after every few sips. at least it was free.
you slightly wobble on your heels as you take a stand in the sand, a little noise of surprise leaving your lips as a warm hand meets your hip, swiftly steadying you. you look down and automatically recognize the amazon ring, your head turning to meet beomgyu’s gentle eyes.
“don’t tell me i have to carry you all the way back.” and even though it’s a joke, there’s a layer of genuineness in his tone as you stumble again.
“‘m not that drunk,” you reply with the slightest of slurs, quietly giggling at the simple image of beomgyu carrying you bridal style to the bed. now that would truly sell the act, for sure. beomgyu shakes his head with a small smile, but his hand doesn’t leave your waist as he guides you back towards the suite, his touch firm and sturdy.
you’re almost across the beach when you stumble again, but this time, your heel actually gives out as you trip, a tiny yelp leaving your lips right before you hit the ground. you squeeze your eyes shut, bracing yourself for the impact—but it never comes.
“yep. i’m carrying you.”
you crack an eye open to see beomgyu with an amused smile on his face, both of his hands holding onto your hips. turns out you weren’t even close to hitting the ground at all… okay, maybe you are drunk.
“piggy back ride?” you ask with a little giggle. you’re reminded of that time beomgyu had to give you a piggyback ride all the way back home from the park after you sprained your ankle trying to do a backflip off of the swing in elementary school. what a time.
beomgyu rolls his eyes fondly, but gives you a little nod, letting go of your waist to kneel down by your feet. “give me your foot.”
you give him a quizzical look, cocking your head at him in pure confusion before he pats his thigh, motioning towards your leg. still a bit out of it, you hold onto his shoulder as you lift your foot, feeling a weird sensation rush up your spine at the way he gently holds onto your calf to slip your heel off of your foot. he does the same to the other without a word, completely unfazed by the way your mouth remains slightly ajar in shock. his fingers are gentle and soothing against your skin, despite being mildly calloused from his guitar back home.
it’s enough to throw you off, swallowing as his eyes meet yours again. his eyes are incredibly soft as he smiles up at you—he motions towards his back with a quiet “hop on”.
you obey, only faltering slightly as your arms sling around his shoulders. with the new proximity, you can smell his cologne, something sweet and woodsy. his hands grab onto your thighs—one decorated with high heels hanging off two of his fingers—before hiking you up a bit. he begins walking, saying something about how he thinks there’s 10 tons of sand in his shoes by now—and if he notices you’re too distracted by his hands on your legs to process what he’s saying, he doesn’t mention it.
☆
the view is absolutely breathtaking through the glass tall windows of your suite, the rays bouncing off of the pool as you watch beomgyu wade in the water, his eyes shut. it’s weird seeing him like this—fully relaxed, calm, and still.
it seems like ever since you met beomgyu, all chubby-cheeked and busy-bodied, he’s always been on the move. whether it be to sprint down the road to meet you at the corner so you can walk to school together, or high in the air as he jumps on your trampoline… and even when his body is physically still, his mouth still runs a mile a minute, talking about anything and everything in the entire universe, letting his thoughts run wild around you.
as much as you truly do adore his silly side, him being the main reason why you were able to break out of your shell in the first place, you can’t help but be slightly fascinated with this alternate side of him.
it’s morning now; the yellowish-white hue of the blinding sun bounces off of his skin as he soaks up the moment, his brown hair getting so long it falls down the back of his neck in soft layers. you feel like a creep, watching him like this, but something about the entire atmosphere makes your eyes unable to look away as you slowly sip on the complimentary margaritas.
your best friend has always been attractive—that’s one thing you cannot deny. he’s had his fair share of flings, and partners (and even a throuple once) throughout the years while you’ve only endured a few situationships here and there. he’s been called handsome his entire childhood and well into his adult years, taking the compliment in stride. he never let it get to his head or fuel his ego, though; for some reason, that fact makes him even more appealing.
he’s always just been your best friend, and you both are incredibly okay with that label—you know each other best, and that’s all that really matters. never mind the way his eyelashes flutter like monarch butterflies, or the way his cheeks flush when it’s too cold outside, or the way his leg bounces when he’s excited or nervous, alike. you try to ignore the way his laughter always manages to make the sun come out, and the way he always orders for you at restaurants because he knows you aren’t a fan of talking to strangers, and the way he seems always to know what you need, right when you need it.
he’s truly the yin to your yang. but there’s something else bubbling under the surface that you aren’t quite sure you’re ready to acknowledge yet.
a loud call of your name grabs your attention, your vision focusing on a grinning beomgyu waving you down from the edge of the pool. you don’t even have it in you to huff at the prospect of moving from your comfortable lounge chair, standing up to make your way to the large patio. sliding the door open, you poke your head out, immediately feeling the muggy air of midday wrap around you like a heated blanket.
“get in with me! the water is super warm,” he calls, motioning you towards him with his arm, the action flicking water everywhere. you frown a bit, looking at the pool behind him before meeting his eager eyes again.
“you know i can’t swim, idiot.”
beomgyu’s smile doesn’t falter for a second as he shrugs, holding his hand out.
“then i’ll do the swimming for you.”
the offer is so light-hearted and casual—it shouldn’t make your heart lunge in your chest, your gut twisting with anticipation at the simple implications of his words.
you’re already in your bathing suit from the mirror selfies you took for simply the aesthetic—a simple blue bikini tied tightly around your frame. you really don’t want to waste your time here; when else will you get the chance to stay in greece for free with your best friend?
so you let your feet carry you to the stairs of the pool, your fingers wrapping around the metal railing as you slowly step in, foot by foot. by the time you’ve made it waist deep, you begin to feel the fear creep into your bones.
“i won’t let you drown, y/n,” beomgyu laughs as you suspiciously eye the deep end of the pool, unable to even see the bottom of it. your hand tightly grips the rail as beomgyu wades his way toward you, holding his hand out for you to take. “i promise. just hold on to me.”
you nibble on your lip as your eyes flicker down to his hand, feeling the water move gently around you. drowning has always been one of your biggest fears, and because of that, you’ve always stayed far away from any body of water capable of swallowing you up whole.
but beomgyu’s eyes are warmer than the water, the most delicate of smiles resting on his soft features. there’s no room to be scared—not with the way his hand is so grounding as you take hold of it, squealing a bit as he tugs you closer.
“do you trust me?” and when he speaks, his voice is just barely above a whisper, his face so close to yours that you can individually count his eyelashes. his margarita-tinted breath fans over your lips and you find yourself unable to cringe away, nodding cautiously in response.
your hands tightly grasp his shoulders as he wraps a strong arm around your waist, holding you close to him as he uses his other arm to swim deeper into the pool. his doesn’t let up, even slightly, his grip sturdy around your figure as he utilizes one arm to keep you both afloat.
“here, wrap your legs around me,” he speaks, tapping your thigh under the water. you’re sure your eyebrows shoot up into your hairline, your mouth bobbing open and shut like a fish out of water.
“wha… huh?” you question oh, so eloquently, the rumble of beomgyu’s laughter transferring against your skin. his nose crinkles up in the way it always does when he finds something to be a bit too entertaining, his eyes forming those pretty crescent moons as his eyelashes tickle his cheeks.
“it’ll make this easier. i’m not trying to carry a dead weight,” beomgyu speaks as if it’s the most simple thing in the world. you’re still dumbfounded, blinking at him blankly—so he decides to take matters into his own hands, reaching down to situate you against him by himself. “there, that’s better.”
a persistent heat surges through your stomach as your brain slowly registers the position. beomgyu’s arm tightens around your waist as you adjust your hips in a way that makes your clothed core brush against his bulge. you almost see the way his eyes darken, his tongue peeking out to swipe over his bottom lip. it’s quiet, still as the distant sound of the beach’s waves and the gentle trickle of water fills in the silence.
your arms slowly come up to wrap around his neck—you don’t know what possesses you; some weird entity that makes beomgyu’s lips look all too kissable, and his eyes sickeningly alluring. his adam’s apple bobs as his eyes flicker across your face. you don’t register the way he slowly wades you both toward the wall of the pool, effectively caging you in as your back gently presses against the tile.
you have the chance to run, to push him off of you, and go back inside—to pretend your core doesn’t pulse with want as he presses his entire body against you. his chest is warm and his eyes are blown out, and you can say no.
but you don’t want to.
his eyes search yours for something before they trail down to your lips, his hips meeting yours in a way that renders you slightly dizzy with the proximity.
“tell me you don’t want this and i’ll stop, right now,” he whispers, his fingers leaving a ticklish feeling against your exposed skin under the water. you swallow.
“i want this, please.” and his lips are on yours before you can take another breath.
it’s nothing gentle; as if he’s been starved for your taste for all of eternity. the kiss is bruising as he nibbles on your bottom lip, his tongue meeting yours as you gasp into his mouth. he takes control easily, his hips moving against yours as the water moves around you, the sound mixing in with your quiet moans and beomgyu’s sparse grunts.
he swallows all of your sounds, holding you down against him as he bucks up into your core, his dick hard and heavy in between your legs. you squeeze your legs tighter around his waist as you match his movement to the best of your ability. you’re nearly unable to think straight as he kisses the oxygen out of you, your mind growing hazy as pleasure shoots up your spine when he rubs against your clit just right.
beomgyu breaks the kiss to dive into your neck, sucking and biting small marks onto your unblemished skin before kissing over the soon-to-be marks. he can’t keep his mouth off of you as he trails his lips under your jaw, over your clavicle, nipping at your cleavage. your own voice sounds foreign in your ears as every lick and bite shoots straight to your core, feeling that knot in your gut tightens with every thrust.
“think you can cum just like this, hm? just from humping my cock?” beomgyu pants against your skin as his lips brush over your cheek, his breath fanning your ears. the head of beomgyu’s clothed dick catches onto your slit for the slightest of seconds, and you have to clench all of the muscles in your body to not cum on the spot.
“ye—yes, please don’t stop,” you whine, tilting your head back to invite his lips back to your neck. you’re sure you’re leaving marks on beomgyu’s shoulder blades from how hard your nails dig into his skin, but he doesn’t seem to mind—if anything, it makes his hips work faster against yours, pressing you full-on against the pool walls.
“so good for me, fuck.”
beomgyu kisses up your neck, a low groan leaving his lips at the way you’re bouncing on his cock like a bitch in heat, clawing at his skin as your pussy clenches around nothing.
“gyu, ‘m—can i cum? please, please, please.” you can’t hold on anymore—not with the way beomgyu laughs against your skin, his free hand reaching up to grab your chin, forcing your lips against his again. he licks into your mouth with fervor, your teeth clashing together. your spit-slicked lips slide against each other, wet and messy, and he finally decides to take pity on you.
“go ahead, cum for me, baby.”
your brain goes blank as you finally come undone, blindly sinking into beomgyu’s lips and his faltering thrusts. your entire body tenses up as you moan against his lips, feeling like a ragdoll in the way he leaves soft kisses against your lax mouth. a low, rumbling groan emits from his chest as his hips still, twitching against yours subtly. he exhales once he finally pulls away from your swollen lips, his hand coming up to cup your cheek.
it takes a second for you both to catch your breaths and when you finally blink your eyes open, beomgyu’s puppy-like eyes are already on yours.
“you okay?” his voice oozes with a type of concern; care that feels all too intimate. his pupils are blown wide, alluring and deep as they scan your face. you nod with a small sigh, leaning forward to drop your head onto his shoulder. you feel his torso shake with a chuckle at the action, feeling an unnamed emotion run through your chest.
you don’t pay any mind to it, though. not while you're ruminating in a cum-contaminated body of water.
“we should probably call someone to clean the pool.” and the laughter that bubbles out of beomgyu’s mouth is enough to distract you, just for a moment.
[I DO.]
it’s a weird, strange domestic feeling waking up to a fluffy head of brown hair resting on your shoulder, caged in by gentle arms around your waist. beomgyu’s always been a cuddler, and a week ago, you would’ve cringed at the simple thought of indulging him.
but now, a warm feeling blooms in your chest like a hydrangea as your fingers slip into his mussed hair to play with the strands. you’ve been cowed by your emotions, unable to fight off the fond smile that climbs onto your lips at the sight of the teddy bear-esque man clinging to you in his sleep.
you don’t know what to do with all of these butterflies swarming in your chest, flapping against each other, kicking up a sandstorm of admiration that runs wild through your veins. he’s your best friend—and at this point in time, you know he’s more than that.
it’s crazy to think that romantic feelings can accumulate overnight, and you’re starting to suspect that maybe these feelings have existed all along. he’s the only one capable of rendering you speechless, whether it be from the crazy things he says or the way his eyes sparkle with a sense of youthfulness that tethers you two together. he’s the only one who can make you feel so carefree and in the moment—you don’t worry about the future or what’s to come with beomgyu. you simply enjoy the now, soaking up his blinding smiles and outlandish stories.
he’s waking up, you realize, as he mumbles under his breath, nuzzling closer to you. his lips brush your neck, his hair tickling your cheek in a way that makes your nose scrunch up with a small giggle. you feel drunk despite the fact that all of the alcohol has long dispersed in your body overnight—you blame it all on the fact that the sun sits high in the sky, shining kindly through the wide, open windows. it lights beomgyu up in a way that squeezes your heart painfully, the white sheets strewn across his waist making him look so soft and gentle.
“good morning,” you mumble with a tiny smile as beomgyu begins littering faint kisses against the expanse of your neck, brushing over the previous marks he’d left there yesterday. he simply hums in response, his arms loosening from around your waist to trail up the side of your body—his touch is so delicate, you let yourself get lost in the feeling, your eyes fluttering shut as he softly nips at your skin.
he situates himself so that he’s hovering over you and you open your eyes again, feeling the sudden urge to shy away from his gaze. you’ve never seen such a look in his eyes—something so heavy and raw. as if he’s prying you apart and putting you back together again. it makes a shiver run up your spine.
“good morning, beautiful,” he finally replies and you can’t help but giggle again—you feel like a teenager, the way your stomach flutters at his morning voice, all deep and raspy and sultry. his brown eyes are half-lidded from sleep, his skin warm as his fingers brush your cheek.
the tension in the air isn’t incredibly prominent—it still lingers but with a less demanding presence. it’s natural and easy in the way it always is with beomgyu. existing with beomgyu is just so uncomplicated.
you feel yourself melt into the sheets as he presses closer, molding himself into you perfectly—as if he was destined to be right here all along. his nose brushes yours as he leans in, and when his lips touch yours, any thoughts clouding your mind immediately disperse, making room for the sun itself. your arms come up to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you, feeling his heartbeat against yours. you feel safe, lax, content; all things good in the world.
his lips are unrushed as they move against yours, silently speaking a thousand words as he cups the side of your face, his hips subtly moving against yours. you sigh into his mouth, tilting your head to deepen the kiss—you don’t care about morning breath or the fact that you probably look a mess with your ridden-up shirt and tired eyes. and beomgyu doesn’t care either, licking into your mouth as if you’re a rare delicacy, grinding down against your thin panties.
he’s half-hard in his pants, desperately rubbing against you to chase whatever pleasure he can get. it’s endearing almost, the way he moans into your mouth as you reach down to slip your fingers past his waistband to trail a light touch over his dick. his voice is deeper than normal, stirring something inside of you that makes your legs clamp around his hips.
“i want you, gyu,” you breathe out once his lips finally leave yours, pumping him slowly. his lips catch in between his teeth as your fingers run over the head of his dick, feeling your fingers coat with sticky precum.
“hm? gotta be more specific than that, gorgeous,” beomgyu teases despite the way he’s slowly thrusting into your hand, smiling down at you in a way that usually would’ve pissed you off—but right now, it only makes your pussy drip with want.
“i want you inside of me. want you to fill me up,” you whine out as his fingers rub your clit over your panties, moving lower to press against your damp entrance. his resolve crumbles all too quickly as you peer up at him with your doe eyes, lips parted as you whine softly, moving your hips against his fingers.
“fuck, okay baby.”
you let him move away to strip himself of his sparse clothing as you pull your shirt over your head. the butterflies return quickly as you realize this is the first time you’re seeing each other completely unclothed and—oh god. he’s huge. your half-asleep state didn’t realize the sheer amount of dick between your fingers, but now that you’re seeing it in the morning light, you aren’t even sure if it’ll fit.
beomgyu makes his way back over to you, his fingers hooking onto the band of your panties to drag them down your legs. his eyes are almost predatory as he takes in your glistening folds, unable to stop himself from running his fingers over your cunt, collecting your juices.
“you’re dripping,” he awes, his eyes flickering up to yours with a small smile. a heat rushes up your neck, shyly covering your face with both of your hands. beomgyu’s small laugh resonates throughout the room, feeling his clean hand come up to gently move your arms away.
when you meet his eyes again, they’re filled with a sort of fondness that makes your head spin, makes your heart stutter—it’s horrible and you can’t help the small whine that leaves your lips as his fingers return to your cunt, slightly dipping into your hole, soaking them even more.
“i want you to look at me. can you do that?” beomgyu gently requests and you’re nodding before you can fully register his words. he flashes you a proud smile before he brings his wet fingers up to his mouth, licking them clean of your juices. an airy, surprised moan leaves your body against your will at the sight, and his smile broadens. “you taste amazing, baby.”
his middle finger enters your entrance with no resistance, and you feel yourself clench down as he curls it upwards to gently explore your walls. it’s all too much and not enough all at once. he’s going incredibly slow, as if you two have all the time in the world, but you can’t wait. you need him now.
“please, just fuck me. ‘m ready,” you demand through a whine, pleading with your eyes, an action that effectively softens beomgyu's gaze. he doesn’t remove his finger, but instead adds another alongside it, his thumb coming to brush against your clit. you buck against his hand with a small moan as he moves up your body, trailing kisses from your hipbone, to your breasts, and finally your lips.
it’s a chaste peck, but it’s enough to leave you wanting more, chasing after his lips once he pulls back. you whine at the loss, already feeling your brain turn to mush with the way his fingers slowly drag against the walls of your cunt, his thumb just barely applying pressure to your swollen nub.
“are you sure?”
“yes, yes, ‘m sure. want your cock, gyu. just—” you’re nearly hysterical as your hips grind down on his fingers. you can already feel the frustrated tears brimming your eyelashes, reaching up to wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, your lips brushing against his. “please, please…”
“shh. it’s okay, baby,” beomgyu coos, pressing a few soft kisses to your lips. you quietly gasp as he removes his fingers from your hole. he kisses your cheeks all too delicately, his forearm resting by your head to steady himself. “i’ll take care of you. just relax.”
you almost cry happy tears with the way you feel the head of his cock tease your hole, dipping in but not fully entering. his lips find yours again as he drags his dick in between your sopping folds, swallowing his low moan at the feeling. “my perfect girl. so pretty, so wet for me.”
when he pushes in, your arms tighten around his neck, your enter body locking up at the intrusion. you feel like a virgin again, his girth stretching you open almost uncomfortably. his thumb rubs your hips to soothe you, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss to distract you from the feeling. he stops for a second, letting you get used to his dick as he peppers kisses across your face.
“fuck, it feels like you’re splitting me in half,” you blurt out and beomgyu can’t help but laugh softly, his forehead resting against yours. “i think i can feel you in my throat.”
“can you stop making me laugh so i can fuck you stupid, please?”
his words are lighthearted, but the thought of being fucked to the point where you can’t even speak has you shutting up in no time. you whine quietly as beomgyu continues pushing into you until he’s fully situated inside of your cunt—you’re fluttering around him like crazy, feeling the faint pain slowly dispersing into pleasure as he kisses your jaw.
“you can move now,” you mumble, and beomgyu wastes no time pulling out, almost all the way, just to snap his cock back into you with a force that rocks the bed slightly. you can’t cover up the choked-out gasp that leaves your lips, eventually turning into a stream of moans and whines as he quickly sets a brutal pace.
his tip kisses your cervix with every thrust, your mind clouding over as pleasure fills your bloodstream, your pussy clenching around his thick cock. he places one last kiss on your lips before sitting up, both of his hands moving wrapping around your thighs. you’re so wet that his dick easily glides in and out of you, wet, squelching sounds filling the room as you drip around him.
“you’re so tight, god. letting me fuck you raw like the needy slut you are,” he chastizes, groaning as he pulls your body in to meet his hips. his strokes are so deep, you already feel yourself nearing your high.
“yes, yes, yes. need you,” you cry out, hands gripping the sheets. “so big, gyu. ‘s too much, i can’t—”
“you were the one crying for my cock, so you better take it.” his sudden demeanor change sends a tingly rush up your spine, leaving your brain a muddled mess. his bangs have fallen into his eyes, his cheekbones flushed with a slight pink from the physical exertion and the warmth of the sun beaming through the windows. his stomach contracts with every thrust into your wet heat, low moans and sharp gasps leaving his lips as his eyes fall shut, his head lolling back at the feeling.
your core throbs, gut tightening with every passing moment—at some point, he brings his fingers down to circle your clit, whimpers leaving your mouth at the overwhelming feeling of it all. you clench down around him, hand stretching out for something, anything; and it only takes a few seconds for beomgyu to notice. his fingers interlace with yours, giving your hand a grounding squeeze.
“gonna fill you up—gonna make a mess of this pretty pussy,” beomgyu pants out, a low moan leaving his lips as his hips slightly stutter.
“‘m gonna cum, gyu, ‘m cumming,” you babble out, your head rolling to the side as your eyes shut, the immense pleasure coursing through your body becoming all too much. somewhere through your muffled ears, you hear beomgyu praising you for taking him so well, but by that point, you’re already gone.
the moan that leaves your lips is nearly pornagraphic, your fingers clawing at the sheets as your orgasm washes over you. all the air is punched out of your lungs and beomgyu thrusts deep into you before settling there, a low groan leaving his lips as his dick twitches inside of you.
“fuck, baby, i love you. i love you so much,” he breathes out as he cums—you feel the hot streaks of his cum painting your insides, shooting places you weren’t even sure existed inside of you. it leaves your mind hazy, unable to even process the way he pulls out, his cum dripping out of you and onto the white sheets.
the feeling of a hot, wet tongue against your entrance makes your hips buck up—you let out a surprised gasp that’s quickly overtaken by a whimper, your hand reaching to entangle itself in his hair.
“wait, gyu—fuck, i’m sensitive,” you whine, feeling your eyes brim with tears at the overstimulation. his tongue flicks against your abused cunt as he cleans up his own cum, fucking it back into you with his tongue.
“you can take it, baby. i know you can,” he pants against your pussy before his lips encircle your clit, sucking and nibbling ever so slightly. you can’t control the noise leaving your lips, whining and moaning as your legs clamp around his head. beomgyu simply chuckles against you before two of his fingers enter your pussy, teasing and prodding at your sentive walls.
“gyu, i can’t, i can’t…” you sob, tears running down your cheeks as the overstimulation sends painful shocks up your spine. you’re gushing around his tongue, the sheets beneath you completely soaked through. your brain fights against itself, your body unsure of whether to press closer or pull away. you can’t think about anything other than beomgyu’s fingers and mouth, eyes squeezed shut as your body racks with sobs.
“yes, you can. cum on my tongue, pretty girl.”
and you do, your back arching as you moan loudly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth as your hips frot against his face, waves of pleasure washing over you, drowning you. your entire body trembles with shocks as your mind goes blank, flopping back onto the bed as you attempt to catch your breath. tears are still running down your cheeks—your entire body feels like it’s floating. you’re completely wrung out. that was probably the hardest you’ve ever come in your life.
you don’t even register beomgyu’s soft hands on your cheeks as he wipes your tears away, his lips pressing against your forehead, your nose; anywhere his lips can reach. it’s grounding as you slowly come back down to earth.
“you did so well for me, baby. so, so perfect. so beautiful. you took it all, i’m so proud of you.”
you blink your eyes open at his words, feeling those butterflies flock with the way he’s watching you so attentively, his eyes flitting across your face quickly.
“i didn’t go too far, did i?” beomgyu’s voice is almost nervous, low and quiet in your ear as he strokes the side of your face. you crack a small smile at how cute he looks, reaching up to brush some of the hair out of his eyes.
“no, not at all. i liked it,” you reassure, your fingers trailing down his neck, playing with the hair on the back of his neck. he visibly melts into your touch at the words, shoulders slumping in relief.
“thank god,” he breathes out, slumping on top of you—you half-heartedly protest, but the weight is nice, loving the way it feels to have his chest rise and fall against yours, his head resting in the crook your neck. you wrap your arms around him with a little giggle, pressing a kiss to his hair.
“you big baby,” you tease. he’s completely unbothered, though, pressing a quick kiss to your shoulder before settling against you again.
“only around you.”
the quiet is relaxing, hearing the calm waves of the beach down the hill and the slight buzz of the air conditioner. as much as your brain wants to believe that you imagined it, his words from a few moments ago ring like a mantra in your head. words that make your chest tight, and your mind spin, and your stomach flutter. having him in your arms like this makes you sure that what you heard wasn’t made up in your mind.
“you said you love me.”
a beat of silence.
“hm?” he hums inquisitively as if he didn’t hear you correctly the first time.
“when you, um—when you… came…” you whisper the last part, feeling the vibrations of beomgyu’s laugh fill your own chest.
“you’re still shy after all of that?” beomgyu asks incredulously as he lifts his head to look at you. a tiny, playful smile sits on his lips and you pout, nudging him softly.
“stop changing the topic!” beomgyu laughs again as he relaxes back into your hold.
“okay, i did say i love you. because i do. i love you.”
the words hit you deeper this time, now that your mind is clear—he sounds so sure of himself, and the confidence seeps into you, confirming your own feelings that have been threatening to spill over these last few days.
“i love you too.” you pause for a second. “ like, love love you.”
beomgyu chuckles against your skin, his arms tightening around your frame as he nuzzles in closer to you, despite already being skin to skin. he’s cute, you think.
“i’d hope ‘love love’ is what we’re talking about right now,” he speaks almost sarcastically and you lightly tug his hair for being a smartass—you get the opposite reaction you were searching for though because beomgyu dramatically moans at the action just to rile you up even more.
“oh my god, you’re insufferable,” you huff, but the smile on your face is telling enough as he lifts his head once again to meet your eyes—his hair is all messy and strewn about, lips bitten red and raw, cheeks flushed; and that fact that you’re in love with your best friend full sinks in. he’s everything to you.
“but you love me.”
you sigh.
“yea. i do.”
a blinding smile breaks out on beomgyu’s lips as he leans in to peck yours a few times, your body melting as he kisses you with so many emotions, it makes your heart get caught in your throat, your skin buzzing with contentment.
he pulls away, sitting up to climb off the bed, searching for his sweatpants.
“come on. time for me to do my husband duties and run you a bath.”
“you’re still comitting to this, huh?” you giggle as you sit up too, watching his figure retreat towards the bathroom. beomgyu turns slightly, the smile on his lips absolutely menacing.
“so? i gotta practice for the future.”
your future, you brain tells you.
and that idea isn't so bad, you think.
reblogs and feedback are highly cherished!
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Wonder how Andy’s best friend Ari dry humped the reader 🤔 was everyone else there too? I keep thinking of those porn videos where girls get dry humped in the train it buss
Ari x Andy’s wife!reader has seriously been plaguing my mind for a while! Like, Ari would be so creepy and forceful, and you’d be a whimpering mess, bc yes, Andy is your husband — but you can’t help but clench bc Ari is your daddy. 🫣😵💫
Warnings: noncon, dubcon, dark!Ari, delusional!Ari, adultery, daddy kink, dumbification, dry-humping
“Aww, are you crying?” Ari pulls your cheek meanly, laughing at the tears that stain your face, “Is my little baby wife crying because it feels so good?”
He thrusts up against you once more, his clothed dick feeling so sinfully good against you. Ari’s got you shoved up against the bathroom wall, your dress flipped up and panties pushed to the side, groaning in your ear as he humps his hard crotch against your asscheeks which he spreads with his large hands.
“N-Not your wife!” You cry out, “Ari, please! Please, just think about Andy — ah! Fuck! — you’re his best friend! You can’t do this to him, please!”
But you know your pleas fall to deaf ears. Once Ari had made up his mind that he wanted you — his best friend’s sweet little wife — there was no swaying him.
Even if it meant that he had to touch you in secret, squeezing your ass and making you yelp when he passed by you. Playing with your bikini strings at Andy’s pool party, his thick fingers brushing against your pussy in the pool while your husband was right there.
Not to mention, all the lingering hugs. How he’d show up to your house when he knew Andy was at work. How he’d comment on how stressed you are, how he’d offer to massage you. How that would somehow lead to him squeezing and playing with your breasts for ages, stopping only when Andy walked in through the front door.
Not to mention, Ari was always there. The last time your husband had left you alone in a room with him, Ari had manhandled you into his lap, sucking your nipple through the fabric of your dress, all while Andy was in the kitchen in the next room!
And now he’d followed you into the bathroom, pushing you up against the wall and having his way with you. Thrusting against you while he whispered vulgarities into your ear.
“You’re my baby, you got that?” Ari’s voice is thick with desire, his clothed dick so hard as he drags it up and down between your ass cheeks, his large hands squeezing your breasts and his lips sponging hot kisses on your neck, “I’m your daddy, sweet girl. Not Andy. Bet his cock ain’t as big as mine, huh?”
“Please! Ari — ow! I mean daddy — please, daddy! Andy’s wondering where I am, I know he is!”
Ari slaps your practically bare ass hard, palm cracking against your sensitive skin multiple times till you’re crying in pain and your pussy’s clenching at the same time. “Answer my question, dumb baby.”
“Ah! Okay! Your c-cock is bigger than Andy’s, alright?? Please!”
“Mm, good little baby,” Ari praises, kissing the top of your head as he continues to dry hump you, rolling your erect nipples between his thumb and forefinger, “Daddy loves you so much, honey. Can’t wait until I marry you, then you’ll be my sweet little baby wife.”
“I’m already married!” You cry, earning another few hard slaps to the ass, Ari’s huge, thick bicep wrapping around your neck in warning.
“Don’t lie, baby. You know daddy is so much stronger than you. I could easily hurt you, sweet wife. Instead, I’m pleasuring you like the good little girl you are. How Andy never could.”
You can feel your orgasm approaching, and you feel so ashamed as your body begins to rut back against Ari. He’s just so big and beefy, so imposing as he towers over you, his touch so experienced, so much rougher than Andy.
So much better than Andy, too. But you’d never admit it to Ari. You can’t even admit it to yourself.
“That’s right, baby. Hump your daddy and make yourself cum. I know Andy doesn’t treat you right. But I do. I’m your daddy and I’ll always treat you best.”
His thrusts get harder and more desperate, and he’s grunting and cussing under his breath as he mauls and uses your body like a toy to thrust against, like a doll he’s using to get himself off.
Your orgasms hit at the same time, and you cry as your walls contract, pleasure seeping through your body as you cum, the feeling so intense.
And Ari releases all over your panties, his hot and sticky white cum clinging to the already sodden fabric, and the older man gazed down at you in complete lust.
“Look at this mess, little baby.” He coos, pulling your wet panties back up your legs, “Bet you love feeling daddy’s cum all over your creamy little pussy and your little baby panties. But don’t worry, daddy loves it too. In fact, I want you to walk out in this mess — just so Andy realises what he’s missing out on.”
—///—
A/N : gahhh idk about this!!! But shoutout to the anon for originally coming up with this idea, and all the other anons who chipped in!! What do you guys think?
#anon#ari levinson#ari levinson x reader#x reader#dark chris evans#chris evans x reader#Chris evans#Steve rogers#smut#dark#Andy barber#ari drabble
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You know your post about divorced Peter got me thinking. A lot. Then I realized that I, in fact, never thought about this much because from the beginning I just stay in my lane rather than judging people for divorcing Peter again. I think I am really too old to care that much about what people write especially if it end up limiting other out of moral obligation.
Basically it's dumb and you're right
Ur the most normal for this. Its incredibly fucking silly discourse to me bc Peter Parker *has* been divorced for pretty much two decades now. (Not even just divorced - the marriage was ERASED out of canon. they are just ex bf/gf.) MJ has her own share of past and present different partners! There are multiple universes where she is either *canonically* a lesbian, or implied to be coming to terms with it. Peter had countless girlfriends/hookups in the meantime! I think what gets me the most is how confidently wrong a lot of these assumptions are; I keep seeing this weird "one-and-only, first and last, soulmates.." thing applied to Peter and MJ and its like...
1. Peter dated multiple people before her AND after her; Gwen wasn't the first either, but for a long time, Gwen *WAS* the biggest regret of his life and they were meant to get married. Gwen was the one based on stan lee's wife, the closest thing to a planned soulmate; and she dies bc it's not meant to be. Not ever. There is no predetermined true spider-man love interest, you're just talking about some of the adaptations you've seen. This is one of the most debated superhero writing convos of all time LOL even Marvel editorial internally disagrees on this - everyone has their favorite. That's the point!
2. Divorce is based and awesome and maybe I'm just getting old but when a marriage doesn't work **having a child** certainly isn't the thing that's going to save it. I know how that one goes! Be prepared to crash even harder once the baby glow passes and the complex shit kicks right back in! To be honest it'd be even more realistic if it crashed again post-mayday, or if MJ divorced him bc she was already pregnant and wanted to do something better with her life instead of playing second fiddle to spider-man forever or being in peril to motivate his character arc.
But the thing that does annoy me is how entitled some ppl have become. Siding with actual homophobic redditors and posting up under gay fanart with the most annoying 'umm. hes married? the sanctity of marriage???' comments. who fuckin care. It's comics. It's all fanfic. Even the published stuff. Stream:
#spiderdads#petermiguel#asks#my spider stuff#peter b parker#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara#peter parker#marvel comics#atsv#spiderman 2099#spiderman#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#meta tag#post edited as of aug 09 for clarity since im not reading asm 2023 nor need to for this point
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okay I've given up I'm gonna rant about the blue beetle movie because OH MY GOD
I wanna watch it again but I don't wanna go back to the theater I just wanna buy it already so I can watch it over and over and over
IT WAS SO GOOD
spoilers ofc so be prepared (also this is gonna be really long)
my one complaint. is khaji having a feminine robot voice. because I'm used to young justice where they were just a slightly more murderous sounding jaime which I think is perfect. idk it just feels too much like a marvel movie with the female robot suit. IT WAS BETTER THAN A MARVEL MOVIE THOUGH HAHAHAHA-
(for the record I usually say they/them for khaji bc they are a bug robot thing I don't think they understand or care about human gender but I'm stuck between that and that one venom post where they say venom uses he/him sometimes to match eddie's gender BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE KHAJI WOULD DO THAT 💀💀)
anyway I loved the movie soooooooo much and I love boostle being gay (and wasn't prepared for ted having a wife) so I was worried that ted had a daughter but she was AWESOME I LOVE HER SO MUCH
I especially love how nice she was???? her only surviving family member is a complete jerk and it never rubbed off on her, no matter how done with it she was and all that
I have a family member who, like vIcKy, is just mean to everyone for no reason (okay victoria kinda had a reason I'll get to all that later) and if I'm around her for too long I start wanting to match her energy. like yell back. I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON? LOOK WHO'S TALKING! that kinda stuff. but JENNY DOESN'T DO THAT I mean she still stands her ground and all that BUT she never sinks to victoria's level and that's amazing.
anyway on victoria's reasoning yeah I get it, it totally sucks that you helped create the company and it never got passed down to you, and I'm not trying to invalidate that in any way, I'm just saying, think about it from a different perspective. she could've been a psycho from the beginning. creating weapons will probably make you feel horrible and depressed because you're killing people! I just think we don't know if she cracked because of that and that's when she started seeing people as expendable, or if she was born like that, or if she became like that because of the sexism! I was just thinking about it and I feel like there's a possibility that their grandpa thought she was being a little too aggressive or something and that's why he gave the company to ted. of course, I'm not saying that's what happened, just that that's an interesting thought I had.
NEXT this is dumb but I'm too bi for that movie I saw the main couple and went IVHVAJBKSBEJV THEY'RE BOTH SO PRETTY WHAT 😭😭😭 (well it was more like I went yeah the guy who plays jaime (I'm sorry idk any actors) is pretty and then jenny came on and I just. oh no. then they flirted and I was like NO WHAT-
okay I love the family relationships in this movie because they're all so different. I mean you have jenny and her mom who she didn't really know (because she died), then her dad being distant, then her and her aunt constantly hating each other but being too scared to do anything about it. of course they didn't wanna kill each other because ✨lawsuits✨ but they wanted to get rid of each other because victoria was doing horrible things and jenny was getting in her way. then you have jaime's family which is a disaster in the best way possible. I love how we didn't see them that much but could still tell exactly what was going on there. you get that they're all super close (you even get that there's no privacy💀) and they're all like best friends. I feel like his mom should've gotten a bit more characterization, but whatever. I mean her husband died?? and we barely see her???? idk. I just like how drastically different it is from the kords like I think it's cool.
I realized after the movie that. his grandma never saw him transform the first time. and she probably saw the hole in the roof and, knowing her, did not care. then when he comes back they saw khaji attached to him and she was probably filled in, but. we never saw her reaction. I think it was a good decision not to show it, because she'd probably react in some way that mentioned her fighting people in the past and all that.
okay this is another cursed thought but what happened to jenny's motorcycle at the end? she drove it over but then jaime flew her away. did she leave it there and just make him pick her up later to get it? did he go back and fly it to her?? motorcycles are heavy man I don't think that would be fun. did he drive it to her???? did he just leave it there??????? did he fly her everywhere after that??????????? people will guess your secret identity man. also did milagro steal it because that is totally a milagro thing to do-
OH YEAH let's talk about how they all hated jenny when jaime transformed because as funny as that was. guys. she literally told him not to open it. (honestly I feel like it's an insult to khaji's intelligence that they thought they couldn't get out of a fast food box but that's just me.) and I totally get that they hated her because she was a kord and victoria was being horrible but like THEY JUSTIFIED IT AS "YOU DID THIS TO HIM" AND I FEEL LIKE OUT OF EVERY COMPLAINT THEY HAVE WITH HER THAT'S THE WORST ONE TO USE. SHE KINDA GOT JAIME AND MILAGRO FIRED AS WELL although that's also because milagro was breaking rules and jaime's just too good of a person to not yell at victoria. WAIT WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT SHE SAID "PROTECT IT WITH YOUR LIFE" KNOWING FULL WELL HE COULD ACTUALLY DIE THAT'S A GOOD COMPLAINT but like we can excuse that bc we love her here
okay so yes the scene where he talked to his dead dad was fine and all like I like it but. PLEASE. THE CGI WAS SO BAD IN THAT ONE PART. like the rest of the movie was fine BUT SERIOUSLY COME ON GUYS but in other news I love that scene because anything that has khaji just. vibing. is the best. and then having jaime accept them and stuff.
I just realized this movie could totally be a queer metaphor because of the whole acceptance theme?? I mean it's not like THE QUEER METAPHOR MOVIE EVER it's more like hey self acceptance. I mean you have to come out to yourself before you come out to others so idk that's just random
anything that has khaji da and jaime being best friends is automatically amazing. so my favorite arc in young justice is the reach arc (because I'm a sucker for possession and it was just totally well done) and my absolute favorite part of the arc + favorite blue beetle moment + possibly favorite part of the whole show??? is when khaji says the "then you haven't learned anything from our time together" line (that jaime says like an episode or so before I think) and every time I rewatch that I'm just like 😭😭😭😭😭 because they're besties your honor (or in love idk that ship isn't my first choice but I don't have a problem with it) and it's so so so good
I was so worried the movie was gonna be bad because I've only seen one recent dc movie (okay it was half of one) and I'm going to be honest I was not engaged at all I was kinda bored (I don't wanna say what movie it was because it's a very very hot take) and I was like oh no what if this movie does it too. nope. I also was really really hoping that they'd actually be like yeah the scarab's name is khaji da AND THEY DID I WAS SO HAPPY
oh my god I was looking at the cast and they listed victoria's assistant scientist guy as dr. sanchez. NOW I'M NOT THE SMARTEST BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S NOT HIS NAME- WASN'T THAT A WHOLE PLOT POINT 😭😭😭
that's all I have to say for now, there will probably be more later
#spoilers for the blue beetle movie#blue beetle#the movie this time not just the character(s)#blue beetle movie#blue beetle 2023#jaime reyes#khaji da#jenny kord#ted kord#michael jon carter#booster gold#milagro reyes#rudy reyes#victoria kord#this post is so long watch out
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I have brought... My YuuriVoice listeners.
...On The Sims, because I can't draw for shit. I spent pretty much the whole day redesigning (except Rookie, who already got a glow up bc he's my favorite child) and dressing them up like Barbie dolls lol
DISCLAIMER: I'm being a lil' poser because I have never watched Bittersweet nor the Faust audios (and yet I still have Sugarboo and Star done, go figure), and am catching up on Lost and Found as I type this. ANYWAY HERE ARE MY BABIES, MORE INFO ON THEM UNDER THE CUT YIPPEEEEEEEE
FÉLIX/ROOKIE:
- As previously mentioned, he's my favorite child, sorry not sorry, I adore this boy so much
- Dumb of ass and home of sexual (out of the closet to everyone except his mom, oof), pulled a millionaire CEO with his ADHD swag. Also canonically a cheeky horny bastard
- An artist (draws/paints and crafts all sorts of stuff) at heart, but had to pursue a more lucrative career in order to support his family. So, Law school it is. Viva le capitalism
- Is an ENFP and his birthday is on February 16th
- His mother is Brazilian and his dad was Colombian. They have been living in the USA since Félix was a young child. He also has a little sister (not so little, she's in college by the time Shattered begins) whom he loves very much and basically raised her, to the point where she sees him as his dad more than their actual dad (whom passed away when she was a toddler)
- Has an excellent relationship with his uncle (and his wife), aunt and cousins. Him and Joy/Sunflower don't meet that often bc she lives a bit far away, but when they do, they share the same braincell
- Appears to be suave and chill when he's at work, but he's actually a SOFTIE. The biggest golden retriever... Well, not literally the biggest. He's 5'7ft/1m69cm. Compared to Auron, he's pocket-sized. But anyway-
- He loves Trish. They bully Auron together. Incredible dynamic
- Has pyrophobia bc ✨ PAST TRAUMA ✨. Began cooking as a hobby to try to work through it
- Likes: Arts, cooking, biking, peacocks, sun imageries (long story), sea monsters and plaid jackets
- Félix has SO MUCH LORE and tidbits (like his tattoos!) about him, I would need an entire separate post to tell it all. And I might do it bc I need that sweet infodump dopamine...
JOYCE "JOY"/SUNFLOWER
- Actually my first YV OC! I met the channel through the infamous Finn compilation
- Bisexual! Finn is her first serious boyfriend, though, up until she met him, she only had girlfriends... And she had the worst luck with all of them. Oof
- Colombian, just like Félix
- Huge animal lover, especially the aquatic critters and reptiles. Has a Bull Terrier named Cow (yes, that's her name.) that has her entire heart. Currently trying to get a job in the veterinarian field! Just... Don't put bugs near her. Please
- Is an ESFP and her birthday is on July 27th... The day the Finn compilation premiered
- Her mother had her pretty young. She doesn't know who her father is, and her mom refuses to talk about it... But tbh, Joy doesn't care that much. She loves her mama, and that's all that matters
- (also her mother loves Finn dearly. everytime they meet, he leaves with a piece of cake or some other home made food bc she loves to spoil her "son-in-law" lmao)
- Surfs on her spare time! Queen shit! Also plays a bit of soccer
- Had pretty severe acne as a teen and still has its marks
- Golden retriever energy runs in the Torres family, because she has it too
- Likes: Snakes, whales, surfing, soccer (as stressful as it is to watch it lol), jogging, her dog Cow, hoodies, fun scrunchies
CARINA/SUGARBOO
- Like I previously stated, I haven't watched Bittersweet, so, I may not have much to say about Sugarboo except for the (few) misc audios from Al and Seth I have heard... BUT GODDAMNIT SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL OH GOD
- Straight, but poly
- Japanese, but was born and raised in the USA and, sadly, doesn't has much connection to her roots... Mostly bc she's not super close to her family :(
- (Canonically) Likes to bake! Also cooking, but still has a preference for pastries. Works in a bakery... Which isn't a very healthy workplace, but, oh well
- Is an ESFJ, and her birthday is on January 20th (it's coming!!!!! happy early birthday, queen!!!!!)
- Pulled TWO bitches by having ADHD
- Has A SHIT LOAD of tattoos because she's best friends with a tattoo artist... Who may or may not be Star 👀
- Used to have long hair when she met Alphonse
- She may be Al's impulse control, but Seth is her impulse control 💀
- Calls Alphonse "bug". Earlier on their relationship it was ironically ("so you and me together can be bugaboo!"), but the pet name has stuck
- But in reality, she does have a passion for bugs! Especially butterflies and moths ("NOT Mothman, Seth. Normal, regular moths.")
- Also love cats
- She bullies Seth for believing in cryptids... But believes in aliens
- Again, I haven't watched Bittersweet, so feel free to discard this part if it's contradicting canon events, but... She kind of likes Charlie. She thinks he's cute, even with all the shit that happened
- Likes: Baking, collecting jewelry like some kind of dragon, bugs, cats, tattoos, aliens
ASHER/CASPER
- The coolest mf to ever walk on this earth. I don't make the rules, it's the truth
- FtM trans of gender, also home of sexual
- Just american. F
- Yes, his last name is a Life Is Strange reference, sue me
- I... I have no idea what he works with? Because gotta wait for more Charlie videos to find out wtf canon!Casper is up to he's such a mysterious guy,,,,,
- (I really hope that the "Casper works for Auron" theory is true tho, the Auron/Félix & Charlie/Asher shenanigans would be so funny to imagine)
- What I do know is that he's kind of a gym bro, except if said bro was fruity
- Seriously though, he's a sporty guy. Likes to go jogging, (he and Joy/Sunflower would be good workout buddies!), climbing, hiking, good ol' fashioned working out and, of course, skating! But after Charlie left, he got into roller skating as well, and he's pretty damn good at it
- He's an ISFP, and his birthday is on April 22nd (Earth Day, get it, bc his favorite color is green,,,,,,)
- Disowned by his parents, but was taken in by his uncle and aunt, whom really support him <3
- Has a tooth gap! Cute shit
- Braided his hair as a kid, still does it nowadays. Certain things never change
- He WANTS to get SO MANY TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS... But he has a pretty bad case of trypanophobia (his ears are pierced bc his parents had him pierce it as a baby). Having his top surgery was challenging enough! He just wanted to get some tattoos... :(
- Always carries an extra hair tie on his arm, like a bracelet. Mostly for himself, but sometimes he gives it to Charlie too
- Has dyslexia! Fucking hated school bc of that
- Likes: Skating, roller skating, climbing, collecting sick ass knives, bad horror movies, hair styling (he wanted to be a hairstylist as a kid even!)
- I don't have thaaaaat much to say about him as of right now since I'm still finishing Lost and Found, but he's growing a lot on me, I love him
PAIGE/ANGEL
- URGH I LOVE HER SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAA ULTIMATE SASS AND NIHILISM
- Their relationship with gender is... Confusing. Doesn't like any labels, really. Just go with she/them and you'll be fine. Considers themselves to be pansexual, though
- British ("sadly, stupid ass country"), still has a strong accent even if they have been living in the USA for quite a while
- ...They like tea though
- She works on the IT department of a big company. Boring office job. But she doesn't mind it that much. Everyone is nice enough and it pays the bills. That's more than enough for her
- But besides programming and gaming, her big passion in life is... Sewing! 80% of the plushies in her collection are handmade, including Sir Gengar himself
- Also a huge cinephile
- Is an INTP, and their birthday is on September 4th (it may or may not be a reference to Gengar's pokedex number)
- Pulled a LITERAL DEMON FROM HELL with her autism swag
- Has chronic pain on her left knee due to a past accident
- Obviously, huge Pokémon fan
- Ironically enough, doesn't really like cooking, which explains why their house didn't had shit when it comes to ingredients lol At least now they have a demon boy to cook for them
- Awful relationship with her family. All of it. Ran away for the USA to escape from them
- Doesn't have many friends irl, most of them are virtual friends
- Considers themselves to be "plain and boring". Normally they don't give a damn about it, but got kind of insecure when they and Lucien got officially together... But in their most confident days, they think it's hilarious how the most normal-looking human ever managed to pull a demon
- Deep, deep down, Paige is a sweet and caring person. Heck, that's why her soul was so enticing. She just has trouble demonstrating it (Autistic Struggle™)
- Likes four leaf clovers. No idea why. She just does
- ...I feel like she would watch Faust's streams ironically. She thinks the cat boy is hilarious
- Likes: Cinema, games, programming, plushies making, clovers, tea
ENID/STAR
- ...I haven't watched a single Faust audio in my life, but Enid just... Popped up in my head. Their design came to me and they were yelling at me to bring them to existence. So here they are?????? I really gotta hear the twink's audios any of these days...
- I don't even know much about them tbh lol But here's what I do have:
- Non-binary (AFAB), bisexual
- A tattoo artist! They're Sugarboo's friend that I mentioned all the way up there
- Likes to write and read in their spare time (IMAGINE THEM AND AURON WRITING FANFICTION ABOUT THEIR S/Os! Beautiful)
- Likes to watch sports (don't look like the type, do they?)
- Likes questionable shirts with 80s/90s aesthetics
- I can see them being friends with Paige/Angel, ngl :D
- ...That's all about Enid for now, maybe I'll develop them if I get around to hear more of Faust eventually lol
Idk if there's someone reading all of this, but if there is, tysm for reading this HUGE infodump 🥺 If you have any YV OCs, I would LOVE to hear about them too! My DMs are open!
#yuurivoice#yuurivoice listener#félix (rookie)#joyce (sunflower)#carina (sugarboo)#asher (casper)#paige (angel)#enid (star)
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I was thinking about the head canon of Steve being Italian, through his mom because Harrington is like super Irish, and I have some ideas
first off, I don’t think Steve can speak Italian super fluently. I think his mom was first generation and she worked really hard to sound American and so she didn’t really speak it at home. Steve only heard Italian when his mom was on a long distance phone call with her family back home or when she got homesick and listened to an Italian language radio station. Steve loved hanging out with his mom though, and he loved listening in on her conversations because I know my boy is a little gossip, so he picked up on understanding the language fairly well, but never really got the hang of speaking it
until, when he was like 10 years old and they went to Italy for the summer. his nonna, who he had literally only talked to on the phone, was dying and she wanted her daughter to come back home. she and Steve go together, his dad comes for a couple weeks but then has to go back to work, and they’re there for months, fully immersed. he even spends a month at school with his cousins, who he gets along with pretty well. that’s not to say it was easy at first, definitely not
Steve probably spent the first few weeks there quiet as a mouse just listening to everyone speak. everyone thought he was just a dumb American, chastising his mother for not teaching him their language, teasing him because they thought he couldn’t understand. but they all get surprised when he speaks up when one of his aunts is going in on his mom and he calls her out in actually pretty good Italian. after that, he gets included more, his cousins discover that he’s actually pretty funny besides being American. he still gets teased because his accent needs some serious work, but by the time his Nonna dies and his dad is flying down for the funeral and to take them back to America, he feels pretty damn Italian
he half hopes that he and his mom could stay here, where he has family he actually gets a long with, but his dad’s kinda mad at how native they’ve gone while he’s been gone. now he’s the odd one out and he doesn’t like it. he brings them back to hawkins and issues an Italian ban because he doesn't like not knowing what his wife and son are talking about. and then news about the affair breaks out
see, while Steve and his mom were in Italy, hanging out with family, looking after a sick old lady, and preparing for a funeral, mr harrington was getting dirty with his secretary. so now his mom is paranoid that it will happen again if he gets out of her sights so she ends up going with him on a bunch of business trips. leaving poor Steve alone. and without the practice Steve’s Italian skills go downhill until high school and he starts taking a second language
not many people choose to take Italian, more going for French or Spanish, so it’s a small class. he thought it would be easy for him, since he already knew Italian even if he was out of practice, but this wasn’t the regional Italian his mom and her family spoke, this was The Official Italian Language. so it’s not as easy as he thought it would be but he actually manages to pick it up pretty quickly. yes, Italian is one of his best classes. yes, his accent is still pretty bad
anyway I don't think Steve keeps it a secret that he’s actually pretty good at Italian but not many people know. most of the kids in hawkins are barely passing Spanish or French, the few that are good at languages don’t think of him as someone good at languages so they don’t bother him. it’s not until robin claims she can speak Italian fluently that it even comes up
basically I think Steve and robin gossip in Italian bc they love that only they know what they’re saying. Steve teaches her some of the regional dialect he grew up on, she goes holy shit this means that we can hit up Sicily on our Europe trip and Steve’s very happy about that (because yay best friends trip and also he can visit his family again!)
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this ones lengthy i fear.. bear w me.. (◞‸◟")
…married!ada & married!leon (damnation methinks) on the verge of divorcing, marriage CRUMBLING! ada’s always been distant, & leon’s drinking away his sorrows. theyre just coexisting nowadays, all can see the tension! going to a small cafe to escape leon’s bitching, have time to herself—ada meets barista!reader; clumsy, dumb college girl just tryna get by.. adas got 0 shame in bluntly flirting to see reader’s face go bright red—rlly reminds ada of when leon was younger & cuter & wasn’t begging to have a family yet :/ …visiting often, ada slowly coaxes reader into a sexual relationship w her, telling reader tht she def isnt married!!! reader believes her bc ada’s soo trustworthy!!!.... & bc she’s ada, ofc she’s gonna fuck reader right in her & leon’s shared bed! the risk of getting caught makes ada cum faster than leon could ever get her to! 0 strings attached, great orgasms, an obedient toy?? ada’s sold<3
leon’s getting suspicious, ada seems less pissy nowadays! so he decides to follow ada when he isn’t on a mission—to a cafe?? watching from outside,, she’s just talking w the barista? he’s so silly; ada just made a new friend!! ada wouldn’t mind if he got to know her new friend too right?.. when ada leaves, leon enters & does exactly that! readers so impressionable; so cute & young, it makes his dick twitch! & he hasn’t been touched in sooo long, wants a kid but his bitch wife doesnt... mfs traumadumping on poor reader til she lets him fuck her stupid bc she’s so kind! she makes leon forget his failing marriage! he comes back for more instead of going to a bar in his free time now, trying to make her a mommy<3
ada & leon r unaware tht theyre cheating on each other w the same girl… til leon does catch ada scissoring some girl!! doesn’t take him long to recognize reader, & says her name in confusion!! all 3 freeze, but ada & leon connect the dots. pissed at each other, they try to outdo 1 another by seeing who can make reader cum the quickest. reader becomes the glue & stress reliever in their relationship when she’s just tryna go back to being a normal barista... & it doesn’t seem like either r gonna let her leave anytime soon—not when leons trying to fuck a baby into her & ada just wants an outlet from her marriage </3
gulp.. my longest thought by far.. but a little treat for u<3
-🍼
A TREAT IS RIGHT LIKE... good lord you need to write fics bcs these ideas are insane... better than anything i could cook up i fear...
AND HSNHGHH IT'S LIKE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE BREEDING GOOD LORD !! leon tryna get reader pregnant driving me insane... ada the loml too omg slap me between those two and i'll simply pass away on the spot.
the idea of them keeping reader around as their personal little stress reliever ahahahahaha... i'm not okay... they both end up lowkey liking reader more than their spouse and everyone is just standing around like:
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ok i've been hype as hell for opening day but i wasn't smart enough to draft an intro so apologies bc i'm writing this as fast as i can to get it out on the dash. anyways this is yang hyein aka the yang canon and under the cut is a tl;dr (that's actually long as hell) about hyein (tho tw abuse) and please give this a like if you're interested in plotting!
ok so important part first: libra sun, aqua moon, pisces rising
now the rest: only child of yang sihyuk the current patriarch of the yang family and bc she's a girl she's the last of the yang line so like imagine growing up with that pressure
and tbh her dad like lowkey (highkey) resents her for being born a girl and like tbh bro didn't want to marry her mother anyways so like really was just another strike against her as far as her dad was concerned
and like bro also was very much in competition with park i's father so like the yang vs park competition was INCREDIBLY real in his mind so like again having a daughter by a lady he didn't even fucking want like it was like he lost in a way so like def punished hyein even tho like bro it was your sperm that determined the biological sex but anyways
so like idk growing up her dad def used the bible to enforce his will but also justify his actions and like explain away his like shitty behavior (ie cheating on his wife like abusing his family emotionally and physically bc he's frustrated with his own life)
and like tbh hyein tried very hard to be a very good girl and like present that way bc like if she did she kind of sort of gained her dad's approval but like also she was raised in a way where like ok your dad treats you like shit but also constantly reminds you that you're better than the rest so you need to act like you're better than the rest and be the girl they think you are
and tbh it was a lot easier to be that way as a kid bc she had a mother who like tbh had nothing better to do so she just fully invested into her daughter and was super overbearing
but her mom passes away when she's 12 and like idk the whole illusion kinda like starts to break apart from there bc part of it is like going from always being monitored and like having too much attention to just having none and her dad not giving a shit about her so long as she's out of sight out of mind paired with starting puberty and feeling rebellious and stuff
but like her dad is not about to be actively publicly embarrassed by a daughter he didn't want so like kinda does the whole double life thing where as like you know publicly she's still a good church girl sits in the front pew whatever and like idk outside of church though she starts hanging out with kids she shouldn't (s/o jeongbin, park ii, bae, and moon) and smoking and drinking and whatever and like a dumb part of her kinda thought like ok this is how life is gonna be and in a fucked up way she can be like her dad and present one day and have her private life be that
only like shit kinda never works out that way bc we all know what happens to jeongbin and tbh she never talks about that but like safe to say she was actually in love with jeongbin though their relationship genuinely was kind of fucked up and one of those things where like when you're raised by a bad man you seek out shitty men but she did love him
and idk after her went "missing" i think tbh part of her went missing with him like she got a lot colder and tbh she hardly ever talks about him ever again and like lmao gets engaged to his cousin and keeps it like business is moving but like idt she ever like processed the trauma she just moved on the way she did and the way she knows how to do things is pretend everything is fine and good
only she kinda girlbosses to close to the sun bc like a couple events happen simultaneously, she and park i get engaged, and like her dad has a stroke (which tbh probs from the stress of her getting engaged to the son of his rival but WHATEVER), and she starts having these honestly terrifying dreams of jeongbin being PISSED at her and they feel so real the shit is starting to scare the fuck out of her
and it all culminates bc one day like a little before the wedding she finds this dead fox on her doorstep and it's been mutilated and like tbh i think it was the straw that broke the camel's back for her and pushed her over the edge and she literally was just like "fuck it" stole some money from her dad and just skipped town
and then the subsequent 8 years as far as hyein is concerned are redacted like no one needs to know what she was up to, or what she did or why like if you ask her what went on while she was gone she's just like "huh? what are you talking about" like let me gaslight u into thinking nothing happened even tho like girl you came back even colder than you were before and like you seem more concerned with your position in life clearly something happened
and the something that happened is like a girl who got catered to her whole life had to meet the real world and it was a fucking rude awakening
but anyways she FINALLY comes back to goero in january of 2023 even though she'd been back in korea for a few months and tbh she came back bc like jeongbin's official funeral but also like tbh idk if you've been treated like shit for 8 years suddenly all the shit you went through growing up doesn't seem so bad and like it feels nice to be home
even tho home is like worse in some ways bc her dad has had a few more strokes since she's been gone and her stepmom (we don't have time to get into that girl) and aunt have been "running" the family business and by that like bro running that shit into the ground so like hyein is happy to be home but also like coming in on a fucking mess and at the end of the day it's HER inheritance they're fucking up so like she literally has just stayed in town and like took her dad's spot on the elder council and been fighting with members of her own family to like get control of shit so she can fix it
and tbh incidentally like her taking over for her family's timber business actually ends up helping a bunch of people working at the mill which cool for them she was just fixing the business bc she's been a broke loser for 8 years and she's fucking done with it adn the company was super mismanged but i guess it's nice some people benefit
but tbh like even though she's benefitting people and tbh fr stepping more into her power and the role she has people like def resent her bc girl you've been gone all this time and now you're just gonna run shit like nothing happened? and hyein who in goero was never told no is just like "yeah i am" and not apologize for it
bc if she were a man it'd be fine but she's a woman so like anyways yeah probs has a reputation for being a bitch and like judging by her actions in the past like they're def not wrong like lmao she def takes what she thinks belongs to her no questions asked but like tbh she actually means well and like what not so yeah
i could've added more but this is long as hell so hmu for plotting and i apologize for talking too much i'm just excited
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It's a totally random ask, I just checked the time and thought you're probably in the hospital rn, and then I realised it's been a while since you updated us on pretty nurses situation 💅🏼
(anyone cuter than Vidya perhaps? 👀)
🩺Aria's Top Ten Nurses 🏥
because sitting in the hospital for hours on end is boring so we make dumb little lists to pass the time which you absolutely do not have to read lol
(cw: theres a photo of an IV line in my arm under the cut)
#10 - Gary (vascular access technician)
ultimate gruff old dad. excellent banter. always tells me to keep out of trouble when he's done setting my lines. finger guns for days. he's only coming in 10th bc he tried to convince me to get a permanent line fitted and the concept of that terrifies me (hence why i have instead opted for over a hundred individual injections to date)
#9 - Cincy (chemo ward nurse)
incredibly soft spoken. shy to the point of painful. apologises for everything. she was there on the day of the pincushion tally high score, and even though my veins have recovered a lot since then, she always has a look of fear in her eyes when she goes to set my lines. I'm sorry Cincy, please stop being so scared of me.
#8 - Olivia (chemo ward nurse)
peak tsundere ice queen. super pretty. magically long black hair. has never smiled in her life. pretty sure she secretly enjoys inflicting pain on people, because she always sets the cannula in my cephalic vein (beneath the thumb on the side of the wrist) to "give my dorsal arch veins some time to recover" and HOLY FUCK THEY HURT. one time she laughed* at one of my jokes and it was the best day of my life.
*it was a begrudging huff of air through her nose and then she rolled her eyes, but it counts dammit.
#7 - Claire (clinic nurse)
tiny Irish lady. always got too much on her plate. why does she run everywhere. always makes me giggle when she does my obs and pre-checks bc my meds sound funny when you say them with an Irish accent. Claire please sit down for like 10 minutes, i beg, you're making me tired.
#6 - Kelly (chemo ward nurse)
only been my nurse once or twice, but i do remember that one time she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she started choking and had to excuse herself, and the resultant ego boost has shot her up to place #6 on this list
#5 - Warren (vascular access technician)
OMFG Warren you pretty motherfucker. why are so many of these nurses in their late twenties/early thirties and ludicrously hot? this guy looked at me with his big brown eyes and soothing voice, held my hand while he applied some anaesthetic and told me "that's it, good, you're doing so well love". Warren how do you expect me not to fall in love with you??? that is EXACTLY how Vidya got me
#4 - Jax (chemo ward nurse)
i met them on their first day in the chemo ward. they were just supposed to be observing that day -- unfortunately what they observed was the pincushion tally high score. Sorry Jax.
(i.e. they witnessed Cincy and Farah puncturing the ever loving fuck out of my every available vein, failing to set line after line, apologising to me profusely over the course of like half an hour, and then the vascular access team coming in to rescue us all and set my line via ultrasound instead.)
that was a fun one lol.
#3 - Vidya (chemo ward nurse)
the one, the only, my actual wife!!!! 💖🌈 im half convinced she was the product of a fever dream, because one: how is this woman both fucking gorgeous and SO sweet and caring? and two: her shifts have changed and i barely see her these days. Come back Vidya i miss you 😭😭😭
#2 - Farah (chemo ward nurse)
another super pretty nurse! was delighted when i told her tumblr was still a thing. unironically says "slay" and "omg yass!". compliments my outfits without fail every time i go in for treatments. got extremely excited the first time she set a canula in one go after the pincushion tally high score debacle, and then told me "damn girl, you traumatised me that day" lol. Sorry Farah
#1 - Tori (chemo ward nurse)
Tori is my BRO. our banter game is excellent. (she's also super pretty lol). always tells me when there is good shit in the fridge. been my nurse so often that she just feels like a pal. sneaks into the admin office to make sure my appointments are at lunchtime or later (instead of like 8am) whenever she can. once told me it was her opinion as a medical professional that i should treat myself to bubble tea and ice cream.
Congrats Tori, you win the nurse rankings and my entire heart forever!! 💖💖💖
(but so does Vidya bc I am a fucking simp for that woman lbr)
#aria pincushion tally:#106#tldr:#Vidya super hot#but Olivia Warren Farah and Tori are all really pretty too#i flirt with them for self care lol#also i am so touched that you remember when my treatments are 🥺#why are you the sweetest ever#this is the dumbest list i have ever made lmao
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Liveblogging Mission: Impossible, I Guess
alright let’s start with FOR THE RECORD this is ENTIRELY the fault of @leupagus, who always does this to me, i swear to god i have been onboarded to more media by this villain (affectionate)’s posts than any other, so goddamnit it here we go MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE I GUESS
I GOT A PARAMOUNT+ SUBSCRIPTION FOR THIS AND BY GOD I’M GONNA BLOG ABOUT IT
warning: liveblogging below.
FIRST MOVIE. 1996. I AM SIX YEARS OLD. I DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM CONTEMPORANEOUSLY FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. i have a vague memory of watching it at some point in my teens, but remember almost nothing except a vague impression of like. A Claustrophobic Hallway. might not be from this movie. i’ll call it out if it’s real!
OH my god the paramount military drum roll is alternating left and right channel in my headphones. brain is flustered. inauspicious beginning.
(dead prostitute even less auspicious beginning.)
(undead prostitute/agent?)
ah I see they are spying on Russian Rocky Balboa and the (un)dead prostitute is a plant.
OH Tom Cruise is the cleaner, I was wondering why he wasn’t in the room with all the surveillance equipment. hang on, did MI INVENT the Suspiciously Lifelike Plastic Mask Gag? also yes that was the least horrific screengrab i could manage.
so undead prostitute and Mr. Cruise clearly have Chemistry. I do sort of wish undead prostitute’s first lines had not been in a ridiculous baby voice lol.
OPENING CREDITS. god, that was the logo? very b-average middle school powerpoint presentation. wait, tom cruise was a producer on this? on the FIRST one? damn, this really is the man’s anchor franchise.
these opening credits have TV Show vibes-- you know, “here’s a bunch of split-second clips of future episodes” except all for one movie. which is... oh right, movies used to be under 2 hours.
is this how we did movies on flights back in the day? a stewardess walks around with a tray of cassettes like she’s shilling the in-flight snacks??? nowadays to pull this stunt you’d have to have a coded conversation with a chatbot and convince it you know which squares contain stop signs before it would deliver your self-destructing message.
also the contrasting formality of codewords and passphrases and top-secret clearances and shit (displayed where any passing passenger could see it walking to the bathroom MY GUY WHERE IS YOUR OPSEC)-- paired with the Voice On The Radio calling mr. phelps JIM several times is kind of wild. everything is simultaneously deadly serious national security threat and “two dads discussing their respective divorces at a barbeque”. also i can’t tell them apart yet and their hair is too similar, which of these lady agents is undead prostitute and is it claire, jim’s wife (which, btw, seems like a conflict of interest) bc if so the divorce thing may be more literal, tom “ethan hunt” cruise was getting pretty soft-boy handsy with her face
mid-briefing YEP UNDEAD PROSTITUTE IS THE WIFE, also in person it’s very clear how much younger she is than jim, wonder how that relationship came about. also also SEEDS OF SUSPICION sown about why jim is always swanning off on “recruiting assignments” and the team doesn’t know where he is during these times. also maybe i’m paranoid I DID READ THE POSTS @leupagus
"if they're exposed, they'll be executed." bit of a buzzkill there jim
so much intra-team flirting! you’d think that would be counter-regulations but i guess jim is married to one of his operatives so the rules must be pretty lax lol
okay no mr. hacker/the team q making ethan a stick of EXPLOSIVE GUM when ethan has been chewing gum this ENTIRE set of scenes during the planning of the op-- that is a piss-take, lol. that is a loving piss-take. this is “here you dumb bastard i made something in your colour” energy. JUST DON’T CHEW IT. i’m love them. i know they die and i will be upset about it.
the first-person perspective is fascinating film-making. (obviously i, obsessive video game nerd, am making immediate parallels to video games that won’t come out for another half decade or so, lol.) this feels so disjointed and claustrophobic, though-- it’s a narrower FOV than you usually see in a first-person perspective, and we don’t have any of his peripheral vision. being trapped in ethan’s head (or more correctly, i suppose, in the camera on his glasses) seeing only what’s in his field of vision for these scenes is making me overanalyze everything lol. i feel like half the guests are staring at him.
oop, meanwhile jack is fighting elevators. i worry for my boy. i have known him five minutes. i should not have learned he had a name other than “mr. hacker” now i’m invested.
dslkfhas;ldkfhas;lkh stop roasting him ethan he’s in an elevator shaft! on a 1996 laptop!
elevator/spy tetris
oh my god this mark had a FLOPPY DISK on his person. the 90s were insane.
The Flirting Continues
ah, the classic Lover’s Embrace Distraction. kind of interesting to see this done with sarah, who is NOT ethan's flirtatious love interest (that's claire; sarah has something maybe going somewhere someday with jack, hypothetically) honestly it kind of reinforces that this is very much just an "it's part of my day job" move for them, i like it. and they both move into it very fluidly, without discussion or hesitation-- it's a standard play.
oh noooo jack. “i don’t have control” says jim, man who just had control. HMM I HAVE DOUBTS YOU ASSHOLE. :(((
…hang on, is the drunk laughing couple the pair i clocked staring at ethan earlier in the night or am i hallucinating bc i can’t tell actors apart
ooooh, ethan’s going off book. admittedly the book is bad but still, bad form.
“they’re covering this frequency, cut all radio communication” mmkay except what’s your evidence of that, bc we’ve seen nothing to indicate that’s the case-- jack was killed where he was supposed to be during the whole op, and you could have been spotted and shadowed from the safehouse. none of that had to be gleaned from radio communications
Convenient Les Miz River Death. also the angle on that gun ethan saw in his little camera watch was pretty sus, but he's under a lot of stress, so i won't hold it against him for not noticing.
ethan, babe, how you gonna call an abort right after ignoring an abort, of course she’s not listening to you. (however, heartbreaking: the tiny little “god!” when he takes off running back to sarah. guy is having the worst night of his life and it’s just getting started.)
WELL THERE GOES CLAIRE AND HANNAH
sarah's still following the mark so i assume she was too far away to hear that. and i KNEW there was something shifty with the drunk couple
damn the mark is getting got too. aaaand finally sarah. full house.
EVERYBODY got fucked on this op
kdfjal;skdhf;lakh god idk if i’m even supposed to trust the nice calm voice on the phone (Kittridge) like my dude ethan is focused on relaying the vital intel (little bit of shouting but the circumstances are, admittedly, DIRE AS FUCK) and you’re using your soothing kindergarten voice.
“one hour, i’ll be there myself” BITCH? HOW? YES ETHAN EXACTLY THE FUCK, WHY IS THIS GUY IN PRAGUE??? SUSPICIONS RAISED AGAIN
aquarium diner is kind of out of place/distinctive here. like, cool location, but damn, not what i’d call inconspicuous.
i think the shock is setting in, ethan’s walking like he’s half-dead already and so far the worst that’s happened to him physically is Running A Lot.
oooh, ethan spotted something. OH OKAY the drunk pair and the embassy pair were two differently suspicious pairs lol.
extreme dutch angle on kittridge. spooky boy. not the first dutch angle we've seen so far, even in this scene, but definitely the one i've noticed the most.
oof. whole team died for Nothing. ethan’s resistance to aborting the mission was AT LEAST partly predicated on the threat that had been presented-- literally dozens, if not hundreds, of lives directly in the crosshairs if that list got out. and it’s fucking. Nothing. and as far as ethan can possibly know at this point, the only reason the WHOLE team got wiped out is that he ignored the abort. sarah, at least, he could have hypothetically saved by keeping her with him instead of sending her after the mark.
“dying slowly in america, after all, can be a very expensive proposition.” BITCH. MURDER HIM ETHAN. SET THIS WHOLE PLACE ON FIRE. anyway, this was in 1996, nice to see capitalism hasn’t improved at all in nearly thirty years. doing great. oh the explosive gum, YES BABE, jack’s last gift to you! blow a bitch up!
“kittridge, you’ve never seen me very upset” ooooh the VENOM. ethan has been kind of a kitten so far-- soft boy, very few stunts actually! kind of a jokes boy! he’s a PERFORMANCE ARTIST, his role has been Wear The Mask and play a specific part. he is, in leverage terms, the SOPHIE, not the eliot. we have not actually seen a SINGLE instance of real violence from him yet-- even taking out Russian Rocky Balboa was with a drugged drink that sarah delivered.
alright admittedly blowing up the aquarium was probably the better move but i would have liked to see kittridge get it in the face
also holy FUCK ethan can run
now here's a logistical question: does this count as an Ethan Stunt? bc so far he hasn't done any of the characteristic No One Else Would Do This shit that is famously his hallmark. i don't think this does count, honestly-- it's fairly low stakes by the standards of an Ethan Stunt, and although obviously the fish are gonna be upset about it, the overall risk to ethan himself is not high. worst case scenario if he couldn't outrun the flood was getting arrested. i'm gonna call this Typical Spy Nonsense unless someone can convince me otherwise.
listen i know all this counter-espionage shit like crunching the lightbulb to make a broken glass noise trap and unscrewing the hall light is shit he was taught in Spy School however i would like to forward that my IMMEDIATE thought whenever he does something clever is just OH MY BOY IS SO SMART
i have trauma-bonded with ethan hunt. it took exactly half an hour. goddamn it, i get it now @leupagus
And Now He Has A Gun, let’s see if he uses it.
okay the emergency money not being in the safehouse is another dick move by jim.
job 314… job 3:14?
OH MY GOD IT IS
seriously is this what the internet was like in 1996. i was an aol kid, i missed the usenet era, but i also don’t trust hollywood to know what the internet was like lol
MY BOY IS SO SMART
although doing all this in what must be the compromised safe house maybe is less so
here begin the PTSD Nightmares
oh shit! claire’s not dead! alright maybe the gun wasn’t such a great addition to the inventory lol although i’ll given ethan points for what looks, to my very untrained eyes, like a pretty solid firing posture. maybe got his elbows locked a little but he’s Stressed.
the Aggressively Sexual Frisking i could do without. very 90s though lol, and i will forgive ethan’s behaviour bc he’s having a Very bad night and claire’s shock isn’t helping with his justifiable paranoia. STILL. BE BETTER.
claire still using that baby voice. ma’am please speak with your whole chest, you sound like a toddler, i can’t take you seriously.
Spy Shenanigans ahead. back in ethan’s limited POV for a bit! i like the framing on the pickup car responding to the match.
ooh, max is a maxine.
dutch angle on max. they like that technique a lot. and a very tight framing.
fkjha;djfh;lksh MA’AM. you haven’t even CLEANED THE BLOOD OFF, you’re gonna gunk up your disk reader
imf sure is efficient-- okay no i love the cleaning lady just “fuck it, i keep vacuuming”
Fucking Kittridge. this man has the most smarmy affect upon this earth outside of an actual british butler in a murder mystery. also what looks like an extremely fake tan. hate his guts. wish him death.
ethan has been 100% Manic Grin at max since the mask came off and i am not sure how much of that is a front and how much is ethan running at 100% capacity on 10% fuel. let this man have a nap.
lol max likes him. he’s Charmed her. “aggressive, but playful” is her type lol.
god are claire and ethan STILL staying in the safehouse? i mean I GUESS at this point imf must not know the location but this still seems dicey.
i get the impression claire actually loved jim, which makes this whole setup Wild. The Chemistry is there with her and ethan, but clearly nothing has actually come of it at this point, and if/when it does, it will be totally justifiable bc she is, to her knowledge, A WIDOW. really played yourself there, jimbo.
oooh, they’re gonna hook up with other disavowed ex-spies. …however, i will observe that it seems ULTRA FUCKING STUPID to keep a list of the people you’ve explicitly decided to cut ties with??? isn’t the point of disavowing/burning an agent that they can’t be legally tied to your organization? imf competency varying wildly lol
damn, they’re getting fucking leon on the team lol. hang on i have to google something-- yes, leon: the professional came out two years before mission impossible, this joke works.
ethan as mission planner is Much ballsier than he was as a point man/Face lol
oh my god luther’s Hacker Names lol
luther the fact that you know this much about the system already suggests you’ve thought about it lol
ethan: i’m hiring you for an impossible job
the team: no such thing
ethan: Let Me Explain
luther looks like his hopes and dreams are crashing down around his ears during this security breakdown lol
Theme Music!
we love an Emergency Services Scam. big bulky costume and everybody’s in too much of a panic to think too clearly.
oop, krieger’s a loose cannon, lol. (leon!) guess ethan is still hoping to get his job back, doesn’t want to Kill Coworkers. understandable. holding out hope for an exception being made for kittridge.
i wondered if this vent crawl might count as the first proper Ethan Stunt, but krieger’s doing it with him, so i think it’s still on the side of “a comparatively sane operative would do this”.
sidebar, tom cruise in this glasses headset getup is giving me farscape john crichton vibes, which is baffling given john crichton does not wear glasses.
oh we TRAP the laser instead of turning it off. Clever.
krieger sneeze into your ELBOW my guy.
and this is the iconic Hanging From The Ceiling Scene! oh holy shit i didn’t realize krieger was there to HOLD ETHAN’S BODY WEIGHT, damn.
excellent treatment of the tension with the silent shot and only luther’s whispered warnings. ethan is remaining REMARKABLY phlegmatic.
holy shit this guy would be the most annoying officemate. i mean i know he’s been poisoned but still. get thee to a cubicle nowhere near me.
that flip! my boy is BALLETIC
OOOOH NO WHY ARE THERE MICE IN THE VENTS OF THIS SUPER SECURE AGENCY. MOUSE THEY GOT LASERS HERE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
df;lakddf;laklsh;lk aaaand the slip
excellent handling of the tension again
legit how did ethan get his hand into position for this catch with so little space
KRIEGER YOU DUMB BITCH SECURE YOUR KNIFE
and now there actually is an evacuation! lol. back to the safehouse.
krieger is gonna be a problem if you don’t communicate, ethan. ah, yes, and here we see him proving me right. we know a bastard when we see one.
MY BOY. IS SO. SMART.
i’ll be surprised if we keep working with krieger lol he doesn’t seem like he takes an insult well
OH HO. DRAKE HOTEL IN THE GIDEON BIBLE. the penny drops.
oh, i think ethan’s suspicious of claire again. jim’s wife, after all.
oop! kiss! but is it legit or is it to throw him off his game?
man, no one play poker with ethan hunt.
“i’m not gonna let this get out in the open.” luther for best boy
oh my god kittridge you fuckwit
seriously ethan do a murder you’ve earned it
holy shit is that jim in the phone booth next to ethan???
IT IS
blaming kittridge. couldn’t throw a nicer asshole under the bus, lol
oh excellent touch with ethan envisioning it with the knowledge that it’s actually jim. doesn’t fall for it for a second, but plays along, and lets the audience in on it. we get to see exactly how smart ethan is, without a doubt, but jim doesn’t get clued in. smart, smart movie.
oh shit! krieger was the assassin on the op! i missed that completely
and now ethan's debating claire’s involvement with himself.
my poor boy looks like he’s gonna have a breakdown right here at the table
“you got a lousy marriage and 62 grand a year” first of all, bitch, your wife is extravagantly attractive and doesn’t seem to be an idiot or an asshole, your marriage is probably fine; second of all, in the year of any lord 2023, NEVERMIND in 1996 money, i would kill for 62 grand a year. shut the fuck up.
okay, jim keeping the secret from claire PROBABLY clears her
love ethan continuing to write to max with bible verses bc she thought it was fun the first time lol
tasteful fade to black lol
honestly why are they bothering with having the shade pulled down to hide jim’s face lol
dlfkahsd;lkfhas;lk max enjoys ethan SO MUCH lol. i am undecided on whether she wants him carnally but i suspect she wouldn’t complain if he suggested it
oh no! overly helpful train attendant gave the game away!
oooh, max is playing both sides. unsurprising lol
i’m here for claire’s Itty Bitty Skirt.
oh shit! she DOES know about jim! damn it claire, i believed in you! fortunately ethan is more suspicious than me lol
“having tasted the goods” fucking classy, jim
eyyyy! foiled by the camera glasses! can’t believe i have to be team kittridge. offensive.
well, there goes claire. and ethan still isn’t quite at full Action Man, so he gets the shit knocked out of him.
okay i think ethan climbing the back of a bullet train with no assistive devices is his actual first Ethan Stunt. this is where this shit starts to get beyond “spy shenanigans” and into “i have no time to plan and no one else to rely on, so my improvisation is the WILDEST SHIT YOU’VE EVER IMAGINED”
fkha;ldkfha;lskhdl;kh he never did actually use that gun outside of pointing it at claire Once or perform any other acts of violence, so ethan’s first confirmed attempted murder is tying a helicopter to a train to fuck kreiger. of course.
the gum again! ethan did jack give you a whole PACK of that. also i’d like to point out that, while the circumstances are certainly warranting it-- he hasn’t got his hands free, he’s holding on to a helicopter-- when jack first presents ethan with the explosive gum, ethan handles it like it is a Very Delicate Grenade, and now he’s pulling it out of the packaging with his teeth. we are definitely past ethan caring much about his personal safety.
ethan legit came like. two inches from death.
wonder if luther’s gonna get reinstated for his part in this stunt
sounds like yes!
aaaand the chatbot stewardess is back and not taking no for an answer. guess ethan doesn't get to retire after all.
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ALRIGHT. LIVEBLOG COMPLETE. Claustrophobic Hallway never appeared, although there was a generally claustrophobic feeling to the whole film due to the very tight shots sometimes. i was haunted by the vague sense that i should know more about this movie than i did, lol.
in summary: ethan hunt is such a good boy and he is having SUCH A BAD TIME. literally at the end of his harrowing revenge/name-clearing adventure he just gets on a plane to england-- maybe back to those london apartments he liked? seems like it would have bad memories now, which has some interesting implications for how ethan deals with his traumas, namely “go roll around in them for a while and see if they start to feel comfortable instead of horrifying”. he’s so disillusioned with the whole pack of them that the tells luther he can’t imagine why he’d be doing it if he went back, and promises to remember luther as “disreputable”.
something i noticed while going back to get some screengrabs to illustrate a few of these points-- in the team briefing, the whole team is never framed together around the table. in fact, i believe this is the only time we’ll even see them all in the same frame. in the opening shots, sarah is on the other side of the room, pulling the shade down. claire is sitting next to ethan, and ALWAYS finds a way to be very close to ethan outside of the actual operations, which leads me to wonder how much of the Chemistry™ was being manufactured even this early on (and, by extension, earlier than the film shows us.) also poor hannah gets almost no job on this op and almost no characterization in this movie. they could have cut her out entirely and nothing would have been lost.
also in retrospect there were more clues about claire’s culpability-- she tells ethan later (during the Aggressively Sexual Frisking) that she walked away when the abort was called, but we SAW HER sitting in the car, watching ethan speedwalk past her with a frown, after she said she had already complied with that order. ethan says this when he's holding her at gunpoint, and she never actually produces a compelling explanation, she just kind of hustles us all past that by getting teary-eyed! excellent manipulation! she already knew the plan at that point, and presumably if ethan had complied with the command to abort the mission, he would have been somewhere else that claire and jim had predicted he’d be for their frame job to work. possibly claire’s Wiles would have come into things at some point there, instead of the 4am Frisk that ended up happening.
also also not to be "ethan hunt is feminine-coded" on main, but ethan hunt has quite a few Cinematically Feminine traits, especially in this action spy genre. he is the subject of violence, not the performer of it. he runs AWAY from confrontations instead of engaging them. his most successful grifts are Conversations and Disguises, and he mostly uses those tools to de-escalate. claire tells him how many bullets he has for his TWO GUNS at one point, and he never fires a single one. he is blind-folded, taken to the villain's lair, charms the villain with his good looks and witty banter. his one moment of really Macho Aggression is in a panic after a PTSD nightmare, is ultimately defused, and never recurs. will be interested to see how this develops in further films.
10/10, if ethan hunt was a dog he would be a border collie.
#will tag all of these with#ODE TO IMPOSSIBLE#so that my unfortunate followers can blacklist this saga if they so desire lol#mission: impossible
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okay, i couldn’t help myself - here’s another post about allen’s cousins for that family restaurant au
frankie
- the oldest, he’s always stressed. took business in college, but didn’t think he’d inherit the family restaurant after his father, frankie sr passed away. regardless, he helps out with managerial stuff while also juggling his family life. he and his wife sloane recently had a child! they named her sofia
robert
- quiet, very chill, very responsible. he doesn’t talk that much, especially compared to his rowdier cousins. he might always look grumpy but he’s a real softy, and he loves his family. he uses his natural handiness to handle maintenance in the restaurant (something always ends up broken or on fire)
tony
- the heart of the family! he was always the cool cousin and now he’s the cool uncle. COOL UNCLE TONY!! he’s also the only one who can cook. he’s TRYING very hard not to be bitter the restaurant wasn’t handed to him. regardless, he’s running the kitchen, and “that’s where it matters, frankie!”. loud, charismatic, maybe a bit too much, but he means well... most of the time
vinny
- clever, witty, kinda an asshole in a smarmy way. but it’s okay, he makes up for it in fun. always cracking jokes, and he’s always the brains behind the pranks he and his twin pull. that’s the burden of being 2 seconds older! he likes working in the kitchen with his family, mostly because it’s the perfect opportunity to piss people off.
joey
- sweet, cheeky, dumb as hell! dude can’t keep a secret to save his life, and it’s not like he’s being malicious about it. he’s just too talkative, and sorta loves gossip. does his best to help his cousin out in the kitchen, but ocassionally burns things by accident
allen
- youngest of the bunch, working the counter at the restaurant because he hasn’t really figured out what he wants to do with his life. it’s not so bad - not where he pictured himself, but at least he gets to meet new people.
the west coast cousins
- live in california bc their dad was the rebellious middle child of the family and didn’t wanna stay in new york. they visit often though, and everyone gets stressed because the only person louder than tony is tommy. mary’s very close to frankie, they bond over being the eldest in their respective families. and allen is very close to nicky, they bond over being... different
#okay! more cousins! more lore! cant believe theyre getting LORE#my art#2p!america#allen b. jones#allen's cousinverse#restaurant au#allen familyverse
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quark watches star trek season 2 episode 10
mccoy rants like an angry old man
mccoy thinks the vulcan salute is hard. loser
lets hang out with vulcans
fated return of the Bass Guitar of Narrative Tension
milf
vulcan ambassador is spocks dad :0 daddy issues here we come
does he not like spock or something
kinda weird that this is the first time weve gotten a tour of the ship in any way
spocks mom doesnt like that hes autistic
"explain the computer components" /ominous cello plays/
kirk keeps accidentally pressing the daddy issues button in spock
wait, im confused, is spock his surname or his first name? why would they call him mr spock, thats like calling mccoy dr leanord. but also why would his mom refer to him by his surname
spocks dad wanted him to go to vulcan college but he went to starfleet college instead
kirk kind of has some sexual tension with spocks mom. id entertain this if spirk wasnt so obvious
this is once again about the cold war
"youre only 102"
weird plastic pig mask
"this is not the council chamber of babel"
more goofy aliens
sarek is spocks surname?????? his first name is spock???????? this makes no sense!!!!
spock grew up with a fat teddy bear he cherished. mccoy loves this
formal wear on the enterprise is kinda dumb looking
Another Space Ship
spocks dad loves him <3
Space Ship Goes Fast
return of the stupid brandy bottle
Space Political Drama
what are delithium crystals
half of kirks job as captain is stopping pointless arguments
kirk is topless for no reason. thank you so much
kirks back in his dumb wrap shirt :T
the dude spocks dad argued with is dead, evidently from a vulcan technique of execution. obvious red herring is obvious
"vulcans do not approve of violence" YES THEY DO?????? YOU LITERALLY HAD A VIOLENT COURTSHIP RITUAL AT THE START OF THE SEASON??????? YOU ADVOCATED FOR MURDER ALL THOSE TIMES????????????
current theory is his mom did it
ok what the hell is the vulcan naming convention, spocks mom calls spocks dad sarek but shes mrs sarek and hes ambassador sarek so its clearly their surname but why would a wife call her husband her own last name that makes no sense
spocks dad has a vulcan heart attack
spock ur allowed to be worried abt ur dad its ok
spock ur looking suspiciously suspicious rn
Someone On The Ship Is Bad yeah we knew that
pretty sure spocks mom has gone through like three or four different costumes in this episode
spock has to donate A Lot of blood
Nevermind No He Doesnt
spock calls his dad sarek too. what the hell is the name sarek here
Nevermind Yes He Does Have To Donate Blood
kirk midriff spotted
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA KIRK JUST SLAMMED INTO A DUDE WITH HIS ASS
kirks shirt fully rode up his tummy for a bit there. huge fan
kirk passes out <3 night night babygirl
kirk is topless again. good
suddenly spock doesnt want to donate blood bc hes in charge now
spocks mom says Donate Blood Now spock says No Theres A Lot Going On
spocks mom commits a microaggression
spock says if i risk the ships safety to save my dad my dad surely would not approve
spock was bullied as a child :(
spocks mom just slapped him holy shit. thats not cool
kirk is awake but immobile
SPOCKS DAD IS AWAKE????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HE JUST PRETENDING TO DO ALL THIS. OR DID THE ACTOR JUST OPEN HIS EYES FOR A SEC
kirk returns to duty! yay?
the way kirk smiles at spock is kinda....
oh good they didnt forget that vulcan blood is green
night night spock, blood donation time idiot
Weve Been Hit
Weve Been Hit... 2!
Weve Been Hit.... 3!!
Weve Been Hit..... 4!!!
Weve Been Hit...... 5!!!!
Weve Been Hit....... 6!!!!!
Youre Not Even A Real Alien
the enterprise plays dead
get space zapped idiot
yeah this is 100% about the cold war
i do love kirk being exasperated
spocks dad is fine now
spock loves his dad <3
spocks dad married his wife for Logical Reasons i guess
get cared for kirk. idiot.
mccoy resents being seen happy
i love u mccoy
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talk to me about matt falling in love at first site
Taking a quick break from cleaning bc I'm so corny and I wanted to answer this... this is such a cheap cop out but this is how my wife and I met and I basically can't think of anything more romantic than this so.
Mello was already at Wammy's when Matt came in with a new batch of kids. Since they're relatively young and and probably a bit strange/traumatized Wammy's has mini meet and greet/orientation things to help them get to know the other students and get used to the school. Part of this includes playing silly teamwork/bonding games, one of which involved unwinding and passing a roll of toilet paper down a long line of kids without breaking it (<- this was a real thing we did at my high school orientation. Imagine a really long line of people and the first person passes it to the second over their head while the second passes it to the third between their legs, then the third passes to the fourth over their head, rinse and repeat. Kind of a really strange weaving process. Easy in theory, harder in practice/when you're playing in teams and racing, which we were). Mello was in line right in front of Matt, and passed him the toilet paper. While he was upside-down looking at Matt through his legs he said something about how fucking stupid this whole thing was. <- the first time Matt saw his face and immediately fell in love. Mello does not remember this and swears he didn't meet Matt till a few weeks later when they talked in the hallway. This is not true. (This IS true of my wife and I. She said she knew I was her soulmate and that she wanted to marry me when she saw me PASSING HER TOILET PAPER UPSIDE DOWN IN BETWEEN MY LEGS. it is also true that i remember playing the dumb toilet paper game but do not remember meeting her until a few weeks later. <- AWFUL PERSON)
#mizz headcanons#this is so dumb and personal but im posting it anyway teehee#also we were like. not children. we were high school freshmen being made to do this LOL
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SPECIAL INTEREST : ENGAGED
I have many ocs, but most are atmospheric filler for my shinigami!Karin AU fic. I do have a number that are actually fleshed out;
I believe I mentioned Yuutsu earlier? Buff goth with the zanpakutou that gores folks. She has a mean streak but has a soft spot for femmes, courtesy of her wife. I feel like she'd end up very quietly listening to Olive talk about music & just walk off if Olive's moody.
Kokona Honda is Yuutsu's manic pixie wife from gobantai. She wants to be everyone's friend. I think Kokona be wounded if Olive snapped at her because she's a gentle soul, but she's dogged in her attempts to befriend people whether they like it or not. Kokona is also interested in fashion, so I think they'd at least have something to talk about.
Mae Izumi is a very intelligent botanist from juuniibantai. I don't think she's mean, but she is very creepy since her motif is based on carnivorous flowers. She's very... monotonous. I don't think she'd dislike Olive, but she wouldn't go out of her way to talk to or interact with Olive in any meaningful fashion because they have nothing in common.
Ryuuji Kawashima is a seated officer in nanabantai. He's very principled but ends up being the butt of many jokes since he's kinda dumb. He likes everyone as long as they're not like... entirely malevolent. I assume Olive is some kinda queer & wouldn't be interested in him, but he wouldn't mind going dancing with her if she wanted to go as friends.
Nakei Yokinada is an officer in kyuubantai (later promoted to a seated position in gobantai) who's just... really tired. All the time. But, like, refuses to take a break or take care of himself in any meaningful fashion because he's paranoid that something will happen if he steps away from doing Literally Everyone's Job (& usually ends up being right.) I think he would dislike Olive because she'd be... so much. & he's so tired.
Chousuke Watanabe is an officer in niibantai, & a retainer of the Shihouin clan (the way the Feng family is). He's got the Sympathetic Backstory, but it doesn't matter because he's a raging jackass. I imagine Olive would eviscerate him without a second thought & honestly, it's the Least Olive deserves for having to breathe the same air as him!
YEH you've talked abt Yuutsu! Olive would be a total brat to her which is funny bc Yuutsu could pick her up and dunk her like a basketball I'm sure.
Kokona sounds so sweet!! I think Olive would generally like her bc she has a protective streak when it comes to the more quiet, shy girls. She'd probably enjoy dressing Kokona up, to a point where Kokona would want to go home but Olive wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise.
OH, OLIVE WOULD ADORE MAE. She'd find Mae's love of carnivorous plants soooooo cute and quaint. Show her again how it eats a fly! Again!!
And Mae being quiet is perfect, leaves plenty of room for Olive to literally never stop talking.
FIRST OF ALL, yes Olive is incredibly queer. And i'm sorry to say she'd severely take advantage of Ryuuji. Get him to do her chores for her, and other tasks. And she'll only go anywhere with him as long as he's paying, of course.
OH, a GUY who think he's BETTER THAN HER?? SET PHASERS TO KILL. She will blow smoke right into his face every time he comes near. Just regular smoke, not her shikai, but still. Very disrespectful. She also steps on his feet every time she passes him.
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2, 5, 7, 9, 13, 14 for the writing asks!!
Thank you for sending these in liz !! 🥺 I'm not gonna focus on just one fic for these bc i'm a mess and most of my stuff is WIP's anyway but yeah ajsjshsjshs
Do you have any easter eggs in your fic?
I've been trying to add in easter eggs into my multi chapter fics lately!! Currently in The Snake Followed Me Home From Georgia I've been playing around with names for things that could be easter eggs for Hope County. Like I might have John's law firm be called Holland Law (not sure if that's too obvious and on the nose tho so i'm marinating on it). I am tossing some ideas for other easter eggs but i'm not sold on them yet so I won't say anything ahsjsnsns
What's a piece of lore you haven't shown in your fic or don't think you'll be able to add in?
I haven't shown a Lot (But admittedly I also haven't written a Lot) but I think some OC's backstories may not properly make it to the light of day in most of my fics. Unless I start seperate fics for all of my OC's their childhoods and lives up until the current story events will only be known outside of the fic when I talk about them or in very small snippets of dialogue.
I also haven't gotten to it yet in any of my fics but Marvin (Joseph's right hand man peggie who is basically the compound house husband but in a platonic way) has history with Dean and that history is that Dean was close friends with Marvin's late wife back in the day (and therefore Marvin) and !! This will hopefully come into play during at least my main fc5 fic when Dean is taking over an outpost and stops Jess from killing him! (Common Dean L not letting Jess murder and maim like she deserves 🙄)
What character do you enjoy writing most? Why?
Out of canon characters I really love writing Sharky, as a dumb lil guy myself I find him easy to write and he's just a lovable goofball who sparks joy!!
John is a close second even though i'm insecure about how I portray him sometimes, we all make fun of him but I adore his character and getting into his head is a nice challenge.
Honorable mentions would have to be Deadpool and Alvin Murphy from Z Nation, again they fall into characters I just find come natural to me when I write!
Out of my OC's I feel it's very obvious I love writing Dean, he's just My Blorbo you know? I can toss him around in any context and be happy and confident in how i've written him BUT. MOST IMPORTANTLY. I love his kids and writing him with his kids is pure serotonin and if I could only focus on one fic for the rest of my life i'd choose Second Chances hands down.
What is your favourite line/interaction in your fic?
OH GOD OKAY. So there are a lot but I have a scene in chapter one of my fic Blue (mediaeval au my beloved) where Dean and Sharky have a lil reunion after not seeing each other for a while and Dean had carried a boar he caught to Sharky's hut effortlessly and when Sharky tries to lift it he Struggles. (And then freaks Dean out with his carelessnes with a knife) It's just two of my fave idiots interacting and the whole scene (and chapter tbh as it focuses on them and Hurk) brings me joy even if the writing is old !!
Sharky giggles, nudging them with his shoulder as he passes them and attempts to pick up their sack. His giggles are cut short as he grunts at the effort, sack dropping back onto the dirt as quickly as he had lifted it but a centimeter from the ground. Dean's laughter doubles, sides shaking as Sharky's brows furrow and his head whips around to look at them in disbelief.
"How far 'd ya carry this?!" He asks, struggling to drag the sack towards the campfire as Dean holds themself up with their hands on their knees. They shake their head wordlessly, fighting to mute their laughter only to erupt into small giggles as they calm themself down.
"Only a mile i think, and a bit." Dean says through small giggles, straightening their stance and appreciating the newfound warmth spreading through their cold and heavy limbs.
Sharky guffaws at their casual tone, obviously impressed by their ability to carry the heavy sack that far and not have their arms fall off. He mutters something about witchcraft as Dean sits back down on the log, removing the many straps and weapons on their being and placing them on the ground beside their bow. They watch their friend with an amused gaze as he pulls the wild boar from the sack. He looks down right annoyed and they hear him mutter; "Small my ass—" before he stands and walks back to his hut.
"How've ya been anyway? James didn't say much last time he was here, just that ya were working on a new uh, thing." Sharky returns with one of his larger knives, swinging it as he makes a vague gesture with his hand. Dean watches his hand carefully, knowing full well he was capable of cutting a finger off if he wasn't paying attention.
"I've been fine—busy—designing a new freeze, the one we've got's starting to crack and the meat's thawing too fast." They reply, keeping an eye on Sharky's hands as he begins to skin the boar less then precisely.
"And you?" Dean asks, trying not to wince every time they saw the knife flick upwards jerkily.
Is there a transition in your fic you're proud of?
I'm actually horrendous at transitions, i'm the writer that goes "After a while they got to the where they were going," or puts a text divider if I really need a big time skip. I'd like to test out more artistic ways to transition but that'll have to wait </3 So anyway to answer the question not as of yet no.
What is your favourite relationship featured in your fic aside from the main couple (if you have one)?
Okay so in every fc5 fic I write Dean, Sharky and Hurk's friendship is like. My favourite thing to write ever. They are the goofiest dumbasses on the planet and Dean loses what little braincells he has left when he's with them. They are the ride or die gang in almost every au and I just love them your honor. (Also goes without saying Dean and the kids ! Good dad and epic kids dynamic my beloved)
And also Nick and Kim will forever be my fave canon couple and I love when I get to write them in a fic <3
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I didn't like the Lost Judgment DLC: The Kaito Files.
I was initially excited because Kaito is one of my FAVOURITE CHARACTERS! He comes off as a himbo at first, but he's so kind, sweet, caring, and would do anything for his friends. He's got Tak's back no matter what!
But oh my god, the DLC was just predictable as HELL and everything was just too perfectly concluded. Oh, his ex-girlfriend is on a revenge rampage for who killed her family? LOL, DON'T WORRY, SHE JUST HAPPENED TO BE AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME, SHE'S ACTUALLY DONE NOTHING BAD OR ILLEGAL TEEHEE!!!
Also Kaito isn't taking the money because FEELS, but when "his" innocent baby widdle kid is involved (let's be real, you know he's not Kaito's son if you have EYES), LET'S GO HELP HIM. SCREW THE HUBBY WHO ALSO LOVES HIS WIFE (as far as we know if we can get over how obvious it is he's gonna be the bad guy), KAITO DON'T NEED THE MONEY BC HE'S A GREAT GUY!!!!!!
Also that dumb fight at the end with the guy who took care of Mikiko, and you don't have a TRUE choice on if you get with her or not, it's just there BECAUSE? I liked Mikiko, I thought she was badass and strong (though her being SO GIRLBOSS that no yakuza could take her when Kaito first meets her? YEAH, OKAY.) but it just felt like bad writing in some ways.
Idk, it was just too clean and happy. The Judgment games always end on a vaguely happy note (Tak and crew are usually mad chilling during the credits), but with the traumatic sad stuff having already happened.
I feel like no one learned anything, no one grew as a person, it was just there to vaguely wrap some things up because of the Takuya Kimura stuff. It seemed like it was B-team writing, and I only played through the whole thing for achievements. Truth be told, I was bored an hour in because there was a huge lack of intrigue or mystery. It was a chore to keep going, and I turned the game down to easy at some point just to speed things up.
OBVIOUSLY Mikiko was alive. OBVIOUSLY she is a precious little bean who would never or be in trouble with the law despite her want for revenge. OBVIOUSLY they were always gonna get together. It never felt like anything was at stake, and the whole DLC was just too formulaic that it was a turn-off.
Despite flashbacks to fill us in on Kaito and Mikiko, the chemistry just didn't feel there and I wasn't cheering when they got back together to... what, all live in his shitty apartment? It wasn't Tak/Mafuyu levels of bad (I just never really felt much interest on Tak's side, and he even said he thinks of Mafuyu as a sister, though it could be how I answered Saori's questions. So Saori and Mafuyu going off about it otherwise just got mind-numbing when there was a definitely lack of chemistry and I didn't understand the game trying to push it), but it just seemed so fast? PLUS the trauma of evil dad is just gone? Like, slow down. With how much time passed and how much Kaito and Mikiko changed, it would've made more sense if they took it slow and got to know each other again. But... y'know, the fans TRULY want things as cliche and trope-ridden as possible. Yes, that is what we fans of Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio have come to enjoy.
Idk, just seemed like a real crime of a DLC, and DEFINITELY not worth $30. I got it for free for buying the Judgment and Lost Judgment bundle on Steam, and I'm glad because paying money for it would've just felt like a waste. Kaito's fighting was fun, the sniffing part was... fine? I didn't care enough to sniff out memories because I just wanted to get it all over with, truth be told.
The BEST part of the DLC was obviously Higashi in that apron. He's the true hero of the DLC in my book.
#judge eyes#lost judgment#the kaito files#spoilers#kaito masaharu#higashi toru#WHAT A HUGE CRIME THE WRITERS COMMITTED#I'm gonna file it as a WHAT-IF like Resident Evil rather than being canon
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