today in sketches I'll never finish

998

survey by starsareonly2nd

How many text messages are currently in your inbox? I don’t know if my phone can provide that particular feature. Suffice it to say there’s a ton because I don’t really do spring cleaning with my texts and I’ve kept messages since getting this phone in 2018.

Is your profile picture in color or black & white? All my profile photos have been in color, and I think I’ve only had to have a black and white photo once.

What's your favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually.

Did you dress up for Halloween this year? If so, what were you? We’re gonna be having a virtual Halloween party at work on Wednesday and I’m thinking of just going as Dora the Explorer again since I wasn’t able to maximize my costume last year anyway (the Halloween party I had gone to didn’t allow shorts - wtf? so I ended up wearing orange pants and looking nothing like Dora) and this time around I also actually have bangs to complete the look. But idk, the party announcement says we also have 30 seconds each to impersonate the character, and I'm just not extroverted enough for individual presentations like that. I’m heavily leaning towards skipping the entire thing because of that one instruction, but we’ll see.

Are there any posters in your room? Of what? Yuh, Nam Joo Hyuk.

Do you read Rolling Stone? I don’t think I ever have.

Which Harry Potter book (if you read them) was your favorite? I read up until the blue book, but I don’t remember which one I had enjoyed reading the most. I do remember breezing through one of them and finishing in just a couple of hours, so I’d say that was my favorite.

Do you have any stuffed animals you still sleep with? No.

What kind of cell phone do you own? iPhone.

Do you have any pets? Yes :)

Are there currently any accessories in your hair? Sure, a hair tie.

Are you involved with any clubs at your school? I was in two organizations in college andddd in high school it was mandatory to be in a club, so I was in one for each year.

Do you have an MP3 player? What kind? I used to own an iPod Nano.

What's your favorite sport to watch on TV? Wrestling!!! My first love, forever and always.

How many people live with you? Four. Parents and two siblings.

Are you good at any styles of dance? Haha, I wish. I’m a terrible dancer.

Do you think that your hair looks better curly or straight? Neither. It’s best when it’s wavy.

Where was your default taken? It’s not a photo of me, first of all. It’s from an episode of Bojack but I can’t remember which episode it’s form.

Have you ever been to another country? Yeah, several times.

Do you prefer cats or dogs? Dogs.

What was the last thing you ate? Kwek-kwek. My grandma made so many pieces for us when she came over yesterday <3

What's your desktop background? It’s of a mountain range and is one of the provided backgrounds in my laptop.

What was the last movie you saw at a theater? For the billionth time, Knives Out.

Did you think it was a good movie? No, but I’m biased because I hate that genre. I’m fairly sure it was well-received and that it’s objectively a good movie.

Are you afraid of spiders? The ones we have here are super tiny and look pretty harmless, so no. But I’ve seen how freaky spiders can look like in other countries and I understand why so many people are terrified of them.

Did you carve a pumpkin this year? If so, what did you carve into it? No, we don’t practice that here.

Which Disney movie is your favorite? Toy Story makes me the happiest.

Are you the youngest, oldest, middle, or only child? Eldest.

If your power were to suddenly go out right now, how would you react? Annoyed at the inconvenience, but glad that my laptop is at 88% and that I have a bunch of tabs with surveys so I can at least do something; unbothered because the weather is cold; and pleased that I have enough mobile data to keep myself from getting bored. Overall I wouldn’t mind it, hahaha

Do you enjoy photography? I don’t enjoy doing it, but I like looking at photos, sure.

What's your favorite thing to do at the beach? Swim and allowing myself to relax and let go in the water.

Are you afraid of heights? Not for most situations, but if I had to do an extreme stunt or dare that involved heights then yeah it would.

If someone were to cut you in line at a store, would you speak up? No, but I’d take a photo of their back and share it on social media and call them an asshole to release my annoyance. I’d probably try to sneakily elbow them as well, just so I can sleep soundly at night.

Are there any foods you enjoy baking/cooking? No.

What website would you say you visit the most? Definitely YouTube.

What book are you currently reading? [continued from yesterday] I don’t think it’s still fair to say I’m reading Midnight Sun anymore. I haven’t opened it in about a month now, even though it’s constantly on my desk just right beside the laptop I work on.

Is it for school or just because you want to read? It’s because I do want to read it and because I like Twilight hehe. I’m not in school.

Are you going to any concerts in the future that you know of? I’m just waiting for my third Paramore show, whenever that is; but otherwise no and I have no clue who or when the first post-Covid concert is going to be.

Do you play any instruments? No. I can play some tunes on the piano but it’s cheating and I don’t count it, because I’ve only memorized which keys to press and I don’t actually know how to read notes or use the proper fingering.

Are you looking forward to the new Alice in Wonderland movie? This question is so cute considering it’s been a literal decade since that movie came out...anyway, no, I didn’t look forward to it as I’m not a fan of the genre.

Do you get seasick? I do but I can handle my stomach for the most part. The only time it got really bad was during my cruise, and the only reason I didn’t throw up was my dad has a cabin at the bottom floor of the ship, where the shaking was a lot weaker.

When was the last time you hung out with your friends? This is so painful to read lol...last week of February.

Do you drink soda on a regular basis? Nopes.

Are you currently wearing a hoodie? No but I can do with one right now to feel cozy. I just don’t feel like getting out of my chair.

What's the weirdest food you've ever eaten? Gulab jamun was personally a unique experience, but weird has a negative connotation so I’m avoiding that word.

What was the last sporting event you attended? I think it was like a UP/Ateneo volleyball game, which was the only type of UAAP event I attended anyway.

Do you understand Shakespeare? Nope, that’s why I got books that had the modern-day translations right beside the original text lol. I mean I would probably be able to understand it if I exerted time and effort into reading Shakespeare, but I don’t have either, so.

Is there a bookshelf in your room? Nah but the top of my closet acts like one.

Do you need to wear glasses at all? Yes, all the time.

What's your favorite genre of books? Anything non-fiction, so books on history, memoirs, etc.

Do you think it's too early for Christmas music? Not in the Philippines. Christmas for us starts in September :) Anyone’s free to put up Christmas trees and lights or listen to Christmas music as soon as the clock strikes 12 midnight on September 1st.

What's the longest you've ever gone without speaking? Maybe during my dark days in 6th grade? I was super depressed, had no friends, had a strained relationship with my entire famly, and was holed up in my room all day long. It’s very possible I went several days without talking then.

Does your house have a garden? I wouldn’t call it a garden but we do have several trees and plants around the house, yes.

What color is the shirt you are wearing? It’s multi-colored stripes.

Do you know what brand of toothpaste you use? Colgate.

When was the last time you were on an airplane? Early 2019.

Do you have a permit or license? A driver’s license, yes.

Did you walk any long distances today? Nope. So far I’ve only gone down to the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee.

Are you currently wearing any make-up? I’m not.

How do you feel about bands covering old pop music? I personally don’t like most covers but I don’t take it against the bands. I just won’t listen to those versions.

Are your nails painted? Never are.

Do you use correct grammar online? Sure, unless I want to use bad grammar on purpose.

Do you agree with the statement that Miley Cyrus is a bad role model? I don’t think she even ever claimed to be one, so that’s an unfair accusation. I personally never had a problem with her and I admire her confidence and boldness in her performances and other things she does. Slide Away in particular is a very beautiful song.

Do you give out cards on Valentine's Day? No.

What are you listening to right now? I can hear the wind lightly blowing outside, but thankfully it’s no longer as violent as yesterday.

Survey #234

“don’t take care of me - be scared of me.”

Does it bother you when people beg? I mean, it depends on the consistency, intensity, and the subject. Do you ever eat cookie dough raw? I have, but salmonella will punish me some day. Are you one of those people who are always cold? I am the exact opposite. When was the last time you rode a rollercoaster? Pf, never. Don't want to. Do you like hot dogs? I hate the fact that I love them lol. Do you have any weird rings? I wouldn't consider any "weird," no. Have any bad addictions? Ugh, caffeine. Are you anything like your siblings? I am very, very different from my two immediate sisters. Ma says I'm extremely similar to Katie, my half-sister, though it's odd because we don't seem to agree on very much? I don't even think she likes me. When was the last time you shaved your legs? Literally not since like... February. It's not like anybody but family sees my legs anyway. It's just stupid societal expectations for a woman, and I've never been prone to obeying those to begin with. Do you like long bike rides? I used to LOVE riding my bike when I lived in the woods/by an almost-dead road, but I haven't that in... god, years. I don't even have that bike anymore. My knees would never, EVER survive riding one right now. Do you know someone who is blind? My sister is in one eye, but I can't remember which. Do you have a YouTube account? how else would I like every Mark video in existence and I wish I was kidding?????????????? How many cell phones have you had? No clue. Not many. Maybe like, four or so. When was the last time something bothered you? Yesterday 'cuz I was getting weird fuckin phone calls. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if they seem like something I'd like. Can you speak French or Spanish? No. What school year do you think will be/was the saddest? 8th. Anxiety and depression were getting bad, puberty was A Thing, confused about life in general and why all this sadness and fear was happening to me. Do you like boys with long hair? I mean this depends on the person, but in general, yes. I think I prefer it over shorter, in most cases. Have you ever had plum juice? No, but that sounds decent. If I can even remember what a plum tastes like... I loved them as a kid, haven't had one in like, years. Have you ever passed out? Once, almost twice not long after the first time. Was today someones birthday that you know? No. Have you drank any water today? A little bit. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? Holy shit. Probably not since we MOVED here in '17. Are you worried about anything right now? When aren't I at least a bit worried about something, really. Are you keeping anything from your best friends right now? No. Do you currently have any mosquito bites? Not currently. A- blood, hell yeah man. Do you have Twitter? Yes. Literally to like. um. one somebody's stuff. If you found out you were pregnant, who would you tell? God FUCKING forbid. Obviously my family. Sara. If it was from consensual sex, I'd tell friends eventually. If it was, uh, any other way, probably not EVEN some family because there are some that would probably never speak to me again if I got an abortion. Is your driveway stone or pavement? Stone. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yeah. Y'know, s'mores, sparklers, wood when making a bonfire or something. Regular stuff. How many people have you kissed in a car? One or two. Idr if Sara and I ever have. Do you and your best friend have an inside joke? "buzzfeed" Do you have a gym membership? Not anymore. How long was your last shower? Not even ten minutes. Get clean and get out. What is your favorite color fingernail polish? I think red tends to be the prettiest. If you had to get a tattoo, what would it be of? Man, don't ask me this. I have a billion ideas. If I had the money for it though, I'd probably finally get this (Denialism) as a tat on my left upper arm next. It's like, my favorite drawing ever, and I've already gotten the artist's permission. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic has had my heart lately. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? I just generally like vibrant and/or light blue eyes, but I really don't care about someone's eye color. What is your mom’s maiden name? Yeah, let's share that on the Internet. Would you rather receive balloons or flowers for valentine’s day? Flowers. Balloons are nothing but waste and wind up as litter anyway. Do you follow the crowd when it comes to trends or do your own thing? Do my own thing. Trends 'n shit don't matter to me; I don't care how "cool" or "uncool" something is. I like what I like. What is your worst bad habit? Assuming the worst of absolutely everything within .01 seconds. Do you believe in happily ever after? No. Things aren't always gonna be happy, sorry. What is your average phone bill? I don't know, Dad pays it. Which is better: chapstick or lip gloss? Chapstick. Have you ever been proposed to? No. Do you take certain medicine on a daily basis? A decent number. Have you ever seen two people together and you got sick to your stomach? I remember seeing a picture of Jason and his girlfriend after me once after they got together and I. Don't know how to describe that feeling. I think I felt more murderous than anything. Do you prefer laptops or desktop computers? Laptops for portability's sake. Have you ever had a really bad haircut? Looking back, the haircut I had before this one wasn't great. Only at some angles did it look good. I mean I don't regret it though, it's how I realized I think I'd like short hair. Did you ever order any clothes from the Alloy catalog? Never heard of them. What brand, color, and type is your favorite eyeliner? I love black eyeliner, but I don't have any favorite brands. I hate liquid, though. My hands aren't steady enough for that, and it's just messy. What’s your favorite type of yogurt? Meh, not a big fan. Idk. Do you have any overdue library books right now? No. Do you have a piggy bank? No. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you own plaid pants? No. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? Yeah, through all of middle school. What was your high school’s mascot? A firebird. Who were your best friends in high school? I had various ones. Excluding The Ex, there was Hannia, Alon, Megan, Maria, Girt... There was a few. Have you ever been to Chicago? Once, with Sara and her dad. At night. And the lights and cars and shops and towers and everything was too much for my rural ass. I'm not a city person, but because it was SO different and just incredible in scope and all, I still thought it was absolutely beautiful and so exciting. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom. When my sister and I were little and shared a room though, I almost always had the top bunk. As I got older though, that inverted. Have you ever had a secret admirer that left you notes? I THINK Aaron did once, but I can't remember for sure. Are you close with your cousins? No. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Not especially, but only because, like my cousins, I pretty much never see them. Are you close to your grandparents? All but one is dead, and that one is dying. Barely knew any, save for my remaining grandmother, and we've never gotten along well/agreed on much, but I mean, I still care for her. I also pretty much never saw her. Who betrayed your trust? Plenty of people. Who was your first best friend (apart from a sibling)? Brianna. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? I don't know. Probably play make-believe or go swimming. What kind of popcorn is your favorite? Normal with butter and salt. Does your town have a big fountain in it? The next town over does. What is your town known for? "You mean Tennessee?" Don't think that's too much of a giveaway. What’s one way in which you’re still a child? I am very dependent on Mom. What’s one way in which you’re old? My knees are at least 107. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? gooooooood take me to get a tatTOOOOOOO What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Mom buying tickets to the Ozzy concert next year alksdjfalwe. I've been losing my fucking mind since the new single came out and album was announced. Do you usually forgive when someone hurts your or try to get revenge? I'm not a vengeful person at all, really. I tend to forgive. Were there any subjects in school that were really easy for you? English has always been a breeze, and usually science. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? Just about anyone looks better with dyed hair to me. I just like colorful, interesting hair. Has your hair color changed since you were a toddler? Yes. I was born dirty blonde. Do you own an American flag shirt? No. Do you own a British flag shirt? No. Do you have a seashell collection? No. We used to have a box of them, though. Do you have a rock collection? No. What is your favorite thing to do in the pool? Just chill. Casually swim around aimlessly. Cacti or seashells? Hmmmm. I think seashells, but that's tough. Dreamcatcher or wind chimes? MAN, this depends on the design. Have you ever taken a picture at the perfect moment? The only one I have that I consider the absolute *perfect* moment was at Ashley's gender reveal when she and her husband found out the baby is a girl. Her face especially is priceless. What color was your first car? N/A Was your first car used or new? N/A What was the last thing you said in complete caps? HAHAHA I sent Sara a fucking CURSED picture of Pennywise as a good morning text. Do you enjoy playing board games? Not really. Are you good at playing Hide and Go Seek? I guess I was as a kid. I'm sure I wouldn't be now. Elephants can't really hide. :^) Do you live in an apartment or a house? A house. Is there a music artist that never ceases to amaze you? As far as truly *amaze* goes, probably Amy Lee. Her voice is just fucking incredible. What is your favorite term of endearment? Probably "love." Or "dear." I dunno. Do you like Twizzlers? NO. They're gross as hell. Do you sneak in candy/soda when you go to the movies? Yeup. Fuck those prices. What was the last song you had on repeat? I adore Ozzy's new "Under The Graveyard" beyond words and so have been binging it like mad since yesterday lmao. Where are your favorite pair of jeans from? I don't have jeans. Do you tap your foot when you listen to music? No. If I respond to it in any voluntary way, I'll most likely be tapping my hand with the beat. Will you get your hair cut anytime soon? I need to, yeah. I hate when my hair starts getting long enough to curl a tad upwards in the back. Are you uncoordinated? VERY. Have you ever listened to Jane’s Addiction? I know and enjoy "Jane Says" and "Been Caught Stealing." What’s the worst thing you’ve ever experienced? Heartbreak. What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? I dunno, there's a lot. Do you write “Dear Diary” when you write in your diary? I don't have a diary. I don't think I ever did. What is your escape from your problems? Music, playing WoW, stuff like that. Just give me a distraction. Do you watch YouTube videos a lot? Literally every day throughout the day. It's at least background noise. Do you have an embarrassing period story? No, thankfully. Would your life be at risk if someone knew everything about you? No. Is your life at risk? I mean, more than like by disease, some psycho, an accident, shit like that, no? Do you feel safe in your hometown? No. Never did. I miss our house and the childhood memories, but that place was dangerous. Where do you dream of moving to? The mountains of NC. What fascinates you more: outer space or the bottom of the ocean? Space. Have you ever seen a UFO? I guess by the definition of "unidentified flying object," yes, but I think it was some sort of natural phenomenon with a star, not an alien. Maybe. Does anyone encourage you to go after your dreams? Yeah. :') What is the stupidest thing anyone’s ever said to you? "i'Ll AlWaYs LoVe YoU, bRiTtAnY!" What’s the most amount of weight you’ve gained from a medication? LET'S. FUCKING. NOT. Do you name inanimate objects? No. What do you think the constellations mean? "Nothing? Just humanity reaching to ascribe some type of meaningfulness to the world around them." <<<< This, I like this. Did you like the venue your senior prom was held at? I mean it was at the local college's gym. Nothing special. Which spelling do you like best: Hayley, Hailey, or Haley? Hm, I think "Hailey." Which name is better: Hailey, Bailey, Kailey, or Shailey? Ummmmm I think "Kailey." Are you mad at someone? I'm always going to be mad to a degree. Do you feel like your life was stolen from you? I guess in a way by mental illness? Do you have a professional camera? Yeah. What would you change about your hair? Ugh, I want to COLOR it. I really want silver hair atm. When was the last time you changed your hairstyle? Last year. Do you like rose gold? I love it. What’s your favorite color gummy bear? I don't... care? Oh wait, maybe green. Those normally have an apple kinda feel, right? Or do they all thaste the same? What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? I like s h o u l d e r b l a d e s. Have you ever made up/sang a song for someone you cared about? Only ever poems. Ever had a song sang about/for you? I mean, I've had like songs /dedicated/ to me, but never actually made for me specifically. What is your middle name? Marie. Like every other white girl known to man. What do you smell like? My house, I guess? Ever hurt yourself playing Wii? I don't believe so. Do you have freckles? Not on my face, but random ones on the rest of my body, yeah. Can you do the alphabet in sign language? No. Do you like your feet? I seriously hate feet. That includes mine. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever had in your mouth? uhhhhhhhhh Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shorty" instead of "girl"? Ugh no, thank Christ. Have you ever sent an embarrassing moment of yours into a mag to be printed? No. What IS your most embarrassing moment? I've told it before but now I don't remember it??? What’s the last thing to make you scream? Like a small, quick one, I think a loud noise scared me. I've been extremely sensitive to those lately and idk why??? Do your parents knock before coming in, or just barge on in? My door's never really closed, but when it is, Mom doesn't. Dad does. Do you think you’re more cute or sexy? BOY neither. Do you own any mini skirts? Bitch I wish I could wear mini skirts but I would blind people with my body rn. Do you draw little hearts and stuff with eyeliner next to your eyes? Nah. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever lost? Good question, idk. Has your mom ever lied to you? Yeah. Do you have a deep voice? It's definitely deep for a girl, but it's not like, manly. When’s the last time someone made breakfast for you? I guess the last time I was out for breakfast? Idr. When someone knocks on the door, who do you think it is? A mailman/woman. No one else comes here unexpectedly. Has anyone ever licked your foot? UM NO Do you play games with boys/girls, like "hard to get"? I never did and never will. I'm definitely not easy, but I don't play games. Oh wait, unless we're already a serious couple and I'm sexually being a tease. Hobby. When’s the last time someone told you they were in love with you? Some time back. Is there a Sonic where you live? mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM- Do you smile with your teeth? Usually. What do you like on your pizza? Pepperoni, jalapenos, sausage... stuff like that. I'm WEAK for meat lovers pizza sobs heavily in wanna-be vegetarian Do you know anyone who lives in Newfoundland? No. How ‘bout Alberta? No. Anyone in Canada at all? Yeah, a friend's ex. She's cool. If you could trade houses with a friend, who would it be? I wouldn't damn anyone with this house, lol. I mean it's not bad, it just has its issues. Are you a good person to come to for advice? It depends on the subject we're talkin' here. Do you sleep naked? No. I'd feel so vulnerable. Favorite place you've been: Through the NC mountains. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you? UHHHHHHHHH how do I not know this?? When was the last time you cried? Idr, actually. Who took your profile pic? Where? What’s your favorite season? Autumn. What was the last book you read? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. Fucking read it. Are you a good influence? This also depends on the area of focus. Does pineapple belong on pizza? NO. Sweet and savory do noooot mix in my world.

Another ask meme 👀

So I was tagged by the one and only @merriemelodie who has a knack for making me feel valid on the worst of days, and also who I NEED TO COME UP WITH A SWEET NICKNAME FOR???❤️

The rules are: Post the rules, answer 11 questions, make up 11 new questions, and tag 11 people.

(Or just break the rules like I do. I tag the same people every time I do these so I’ll give everyone a break. If you want to, but don’t feel obligated: @plsetski, @zestyfiretruck, @stregina, @dednout, @vityanikiforova. For everyone else, I’m just being shy but if you see this and want to do it, CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED BY ME! And @ me in your response.)

My questions for people are:

If you could, would you choose to download your consciousness into an artificial simulation of life, where nothing really bad ever happens, and all the good things that you want from life happen in a believable way? Or would you rather live your life as it is now? Why?

If you could pick anything to do for your career, without having to worry about money, what would you do?

If you had to describe yourself with a Wikipedia article, or an article from The Onion, what would it be? 

What is your favorite gif/meme??

If you could say anything to your younger self, what would you say? Would you say anything at all?

If humanoid androids became normalized and easily-accessible in the future, would you choose one as a companion? If no, why not? If yes, who would you like them to be based on?

What is the weirdest thing someone has every told you they like about you?

Which would you choose, and why: Bring your favorite character(s) to life? Or transport yourself into their world?

If you had to become immortal, what age would you choose to “die” and remain forever, and why?

What are your thoughts on Pluto? Is it a planet? or just a rock?

What is one thing you wouldn’t trade for $1,000,000 (or equivalent in your currency)?

And here are my long-ass answers for Melodieee:

Q1. Have any unpopular opinions? Now’s the time to say them. It doesn’t matter what they’re about; whether or not you think people will care about them, or if it’ll change people’s perceptions of you. Just let ‘em fly.

a:- Okay so…I don’t…really like Autumn…and it might…MAYBE..be my least favorite season…?? ? (I’m sorry, I know). I feel like this is particularly offensive coming from me, since I’m currently living in New England, which is well-known for having the most beautiful foliage during Autumn. But there’s only so much pumpkin spice and scarves I can indulge in before I have to face the reality that The Darkness™ is coming. Funny enough, I don’t have much of an aversion to Winter. (That’s a lie.) (I can’t manage during late February - March). (I barely make it to the end of Winter every year). All in all, this article pretty much summarizes my exacts feelings towards Autumn. Beware though, ~* 🚫 Autumn-lovers DON’T Interact! 🚫 *~, you will be enraged. ☕️🐸

Q2. Do you cling to summer, or are you typically more than excited for autumn? (Or do you not have a strong opinion either way?)

a:- Wellll I guess I sorta addressed this in the first answer? Hahaha. Aha. H a. (I still feel bad about it). But I suppose I don’t really cling to summer, because I have this icky tendency to…spoil good things before they are ready to be ruined??? Like “Ahhh, well am I going to feel bad eventually? Might as well get started on that right now!!”. Feeling Bad is the only thing I don’t procrastinate, lmao. But yeah, I don’t cling to summer (I mourn its death prematurely), and I don’t get excited for Autumn, I just do my best not to feel Too bad overall. I definitely don’t cry, because I Am A Big Kid Now.

Q3. What’s something that you’ve been wanting to tell somebody, but haven’t been able/felt ready to? (Of course, if you’re still not comfortable saying it in a public post, then you definitely shouldn’t feel obligated to do it. This is just for fun. ♥)

a:- The funniest thing is that a lot of the things that leave my mouth nowadays are things that I haven’t been ready to say. But I’ve been lucky enough not to word-vomit anything that’s been truly detrimental to my mental well-being. I’m also lucky to have a few amazing people in my life that I’m able to be quite vulnerable with. 

Q4. What would the soundtrack for the film of your life look like? (FOR THOSE WILLING TO TAKE IT UP A NOTCH: if you were to write a Broadway musical about your life, what would some of the songs be titled/be about?)

a:- Let’s see if I can be as dramatic as possible. In terms of a movie soundtrack, I definitely think that the opening scene would be to Tame Impala’s Let It Happen. Once things calm down and fall back into the natural rhythym of grey, expect to enjoy tunes from Radiohead, in particular their track Daydreaming, which plays on repeat in my dissociative head on a regular. When things get desolate, we enjoy The Postal Service’s This Place Is a Prison. When they’re comedic (see: manic), we’re jamming to some Manfred Mann’s Earth Band!! If I could be selfish, I would find my Big Love and/or purpose, and the soundtrack would lighten up with sounds from Coldplay and Active Child. Also, because I am quietly just as dramatic as our favorite witch Georgi Popovich, a few of my Broadway musical song titles include “Sometimes Fireworks Are Silent”, “I’m Sorry For A LOT Of Things, But This Isn’t One Of Them”, “Some Of Us Taste Colors”, “Tequila (TEQUILA)”, and of course “2D Drawings Are As Strong A Medicine As Any”, which has a b-track “Music Is Morphine (Which is Also a Poison)”.

Q5. What’s a poem, story, or song lyric that you think about often? What about it captivates you?

a:- I’ll give you an entire song full of lyrics: The song Bloodstream, which is so aptly named for how deeply I feel it whenever I listen to it. It epitomizes the concept of soulmates for me, which I don’t believe is always a “happy-go-lucky” scenario, sometimes soulmates are just that - a split of your soul, a piece of you in another body, no sparkles and lovehearts, just another self in another form whose destiny is entwined with your own. As someone who isn’t sure they believe in soulmates irl, here’s why the song strikes me - The vocals are a bit eerie, and ever-so-slightly tired. It must be exhausting searching for a missing half. The recurring piano chords in the verses of the song make it feel a little bit like a memory. I imagine that’s what Deja Vu sounds like, which I find to be fitting when you think about all the subtle instances that have connected your life with someone else’s without you even noticing, but sometimes you just feel it. Then comes the chorus, more profound in its intensity, and all of a sudden it’s the realization hitting you like “Ahh, yes. This is the one I can’t live without. I see it now”. And then there’s the bridge, the melody changing again, acting as a flashlight as you wade through the murkiness of Doubt and Uncertainty, and leading you finally to the door of Acceptance. And once you’ve accepted it, and really digested the fact that you aren’t alone, you just float along - adrift but comfortable, because you realize that you aren’t drowning like you thought you would, or like you’ve been all this time. (That was cryptic AF, what does All That even mean??). Idk. I just feel the song deeply and I’m not really sure how to express why. 🎭

Q6. If you had to epitomize yourself with a Wikipedia article title, what would it be?

a:-I think may be Learned Helplessness.

Q7. What do you daydream about?

a:- I have two persistent daydreams lately. One is to lay in a meadow and just rest in a shady spot with the sun’s warmth peeking through the foliage, probably for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t mind being stuck in a time loop if it meant existing somewhere like this or this. I actually have this one saved as my desktop wallpaper at work. I stare at it throughout the day and it brings me peace. The second daydream is imagining what it would be like to go out and get roaring drunk with Yuuri and Pichit. Like…can you imagine the shenanigans??

Q8. What’s your go-to character/kart/track in Mario Kart? (ANY ITERATION)

a:-Toad…..and raiNBOW ROAD BINCH!!! FIGHT ME. #ChaoticEvil

Q9. What’s something people would be surprised to learn about you?

a:- IRL? People would be shocked that I’m pan/bi. Literally no one knows. Friends and family respect that I consider myself asexual, or at least non-sexual, but no one actually knows that I’m not straight. I have hinted on occasion, but growing up in one of the most homophobic and heteronormative societies means that if people haven’t seen you date anything but cis-gendered men (even if it was only for 6 months when you were 14 years old??) then it means you’re straight. Straight until proven otherwise (and simultaneously shunned by extended family for being The Gay Cousin™ ).

Q10. If you could name a crayon/nail polish color, what would it be, and what would the color be?

a:- Tbh, I’m the least creative when it comes to these things, so most likely it would be some sort of holographic sparkly fluorescent pink color, and the name would be “Trophy Husband” (because it reminds me of Victor).

Q11. What’s a question you wish I would’ve asked? ASK/ANSWER IT HERE.

a:- AHHHH THE PRESSURE idk IDK. Ummmmm how about “What do you like most about following me?”. And the answer would be that your tags and writing in general just hit me right in the feels, every. damn. time. Your sense of humor is also A+, it’s never mean-spirited, and you just generally provide a safe space for me to exist comfortably at the end of each day. You’re also incredibly observant, and I feel like I’m a slightly bigger and more important speck in this universe because of you. Thank you for being here ❤️.

THE END.

Bored!

<b>Last person you watched a movie with? </b>
Myself LOL. <b>Have you been disappointed in the past three days?</b>
Yeah in myself a bit... <b>What will you be doing in the next 2 hours?</b>
Filming! <b>Is your birthday in February, October, or May?</b>
Negative! December. <b>Do you have a good relationship with your ex?</b>
Ew. Fuck that. <b>What windows are open on your desktop right now?</b>
My laptop is off. <b>When is the last time you yawned?</b>
Not long ago. <b>Are you someone who hates to read?</b>
I don’t hate it, I just never do it. I write my own shit ;) <b>Who did you last get high with?</b>
Sam. Weed. I don't do hard drugs anymore. <b>When was the last time you had brownies?</b>
Shiiit. No clue. <b>What’s something you hear right now, besides music?</b>
Shane & Friends :) <b>Is it warm outside?</b>
FUCK YEAH!! It's like 70 out :) <b>What does your last text in your inbox say from a girl?</b>
From my cousin saying something about us being famous when we are old and in a nursing home together. <b>At what age do you want to have your first child?</b>
I have a goal to be pregnant or have a child at 26. So I have a year and 9 months before I'm 27 hahaha. <b>Do you ride a bus regularly?</b> Noo. I drive my own car or walk. <b>Does/did your school require uniforms? </b> No it didn't. Except my college. Had to wear scrubs. <b>When was the last time you were out of your home town?</b>
Wednesday; two days ago. <b>If you had to eat breakfast tomorrow morning, what would you eat?</b>
Pancakes or waffles. <b>On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like Harry Potter?</b>
20000009!!! Hahaha. <b>Would you rather read the newspaper, watch the news, or read the news online to learn about current events?</b> Read it online. <b>Have you ever touched a cow?</b>
Yeah. <b>What was the last essay you wrote about?
</b> Pfffft. I haven't been in school in 7 years. And when I was in college in 2013 I didn't have to write essays for nursing classes. <b>Do you call the ice cream topping “jimmies” or “sprinkles”?</b>
Sprinkles. Never heard of jimmies. <b>Is there a particular race that you find more attractive than another?</b>
Personally, I'm attracted to white guys more because my husband is white. BUT!!! I have found many other races attractive and when I was growing up, I ONLY liked black guys. I have dated one black man and I've dated someone who was Indian. <b>You have to come up with a new name for your fake ID, what name do you choose?</b>
It would have to be convincing. So maybe...Alexandria and a kinda common last name but not too common to make it obvious. I choose Alexandria cuz my mom wanted to name me that but my dad didn't like it lol. <b>Have you ever had a churro?</b>
Hmm. I'm not sure honestly. <b>Name a really catchy song.</b> Hmmm.. Can't Stop The Feeling by JT. Love that song! <b>Do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships?</b>
My first boyfriend gave me one. I was 14 though lol. But I think if you're adults, it might as well be an engagement ring. <b>What’s the next movie you’ll watch in theaters?</b>
Whoooo knows. I haven't been to the movies since TMNT came out to theaters! <b>Other than yourself, who was the last person that took a picture of you?</b> Probably Chris lol. <b>So what do you plan on doing this weekend?</b> I have today and tomorrow off. Today- chillin, filming and writing. Tomorrow- Going to see my Grandpa, seeing my brother and his kids and helping my cousin with moving her mom out of her house. Sunday- Back to work. <b>Are you going to get your driver’s license this year?</b>
Booooom. Got it bitchhh lol. <b>Do you plan on dressing up for Halloween this year?</b> Maybe for work.