How is Pip/Phillip rn ( I haven't read the whole entire comic. But if he's dead, i'm going to be sad)
GREGORY: Well, hate to be a debby downer….
GREGORY: Unfortunately, we’re all dead.
GREGORY: I even made a google slides presentation to show how every death happened!!!
GREGORY: If you would so kindly look,
GREGORY: So erm…
GREGORY: Yeah
GREGORY: I’m not really supposed to give you Thomas’ tragic backstory…
GREGORY: But he’s technically dead twice…
GREGORY: Sooooo….
GREGORY: Just don’t tell HIM…
GREGORY: Or Estella…
ESTELLA: What?
ESTELLA: Gregory! I need your assistance!
ESTELLA: Get off of the computer, please!
GREGORY: (Melodramatic sigh)
GREGORY: Yes ma’am…
(Edits and Slideshow made by @pissblanket and @imlivinginyourtrashcan )
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PIP: Yes and I'll get the uhm
PIP: I'll get the uh
PIP: I’ll get
PIP: …
PIP: Lemme get ahhhh
PIP: Boneless Pizza
PIP: And uh
PIP: Two liter of uh
PIP: Coke
HEIDI: …
HEIDI: The fuck kinda pizza?
HEDI: And the two liter machine broke, we got one liter tho
PIP: The fuck you mean B?
PIP: Alright look,
PIP: Let me get that pizza BONELESS
HEIDI: Uh? Pizza don't got bone in it
PIP: Tf did I just say then
HEIDI: U said "Lemme get it BONELESS " like pizza got a damn bone in it
PIP: Y'all got BONES in ya shit then
HEIDI: Nah
PIP: So what's the problem?
HEIDI: DICK HEAD name one pizza that got bone on it
PIP: Just don't put them shits in my pizza bruh how many times I gotta say it
HEIDI: Bruh jus explain to me how tf pizza can be boneless?
PIP: If it don't got bone in it iss boneless
HEIDI: Son, what school u go to
PIP: dawg I don't understand the problem just make my shit BONELESS DEADASS
HEIDI: I'm deadass not making this pizza…
PIP: Fine, then you deadass better get me exactly what I want
PIP: Why are you so…
PIP: frumpy?
HEIDI: Excuse me?
PIP: You heard me
PIP: You won't even get me a boneless pizza
PIP: How do you think that makes you look?
HEIDI: erm.
PIP: FRUMPY
HEIDI: You wanna play that way, huh?
HEIDI: Number 1, F = (m)(a) = (1000 kg)( 3 m/s²) =
3000 N.
PIP: What.
HEIDI: HMMMM a = F/a = 200 N / 2.5 m/s² = 80kg
PIP: Is there a manager I can speak to?
HEIDI: OHHH, YOU WANT THE ANSWERS TO THE CROSSWORD ???
HEIDI: Ahem
HEIDI: One is centripetal, two is negative acceleration, three is plate tectonics, four is relative motion, five is slope—
PIP: SHUT THE FUCK UP!
HEIDI: SIX IS SPEED, SEVEN IS AVERAGE SPEED
PIP: WHAT'S EVEN THE GODDAMN DIFFERENCE?!
HEIDI: OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED!
HEIDI: AHEM
HEIDI: THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL
PIP: CAN I JUST GET
PIP: MY GODDAMN
PIP: FOOD PLEASE
TWEEK: WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING NICE???
PIP: I AM BEING NICE!!
TWEEK: BY YELLING???
PIP: FUCK YOU RESPECTFULLY
HEIDI: OKAY FINE, I'LL GET YOU YOUR GODDAMN BONELESS PIZZA OR WHATEVER DUMB QUEER SHIT YOU ORDERED
HEIDI: What do you want you low budget Super Sonic?
TWEEK: Uh yeah uh
TWEEK: What's this thing?
HEIDI: Do you have are stupid?
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: What?
HEIDI: Do you.
HEIDI: Have are.
HEIDI: Stupid?
HEIDI: Bitch?
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: What nonsense are you speaking?
TWEEK: What
HEIDI: That is a MENU
HEIDI: Say it with me
HEIDI: MEN
HEIDI: U!
TWEEK: Oh! A Meenew!
TWEEK: Cool!
PIP: Ignore him, he’s an imbecile
TWEEK: Hey! I'm not…
PIP: Anyways, he’ll have a pudding
HEIDI: We don't serve pudding here
TWEEK: No… no pudding???
HEIDI: No sir, we don’t have pudding
TWEEK: ( starts to cry like a lil bitch )
HEIDI: …
HEIDI: We have jello?
TWEEK: IT'S NOT THE SAME!! WAHHHHH!!!
PIP: He’ll just take a coffee
TWEEK: I DON'T WANT COFFEE!! I WANT PUDDIN!!
PIP: Shut
PIP: The
PIP: FUCK UP!
PIP: (SLAP )
TWEEK: ( Ugly Crying )
HEIDI: O….
HEIDI: Kkkkkkayyyyy…
HEIDI: What does the walking fetus want?
PIP: The what?
HEIDI: The child
HEIDI: What can we get for your child?
TWEEK: Right! My
TWEEK: My child
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: Her names Silly String
HEIDI: Cool
HEIDI: Cool cool cool
HEIDI: What does…
HEIDI: Silly String
HEIDI: Want to eat
TWEEK: Uh…
TWEEK: What do kids eat?
TWEEK: Do kids even eat?
HEIDI: Yes, kids eat, captain obvious
PIP: Tweek she’s eating a crayon
TWEEK: Oh
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: Do kids eat crayons?
PIP: No
PIP: No they do not
HEIDI: Does
HEIDI: Does Silly String
HEIDI: Want the jello instead?
TWEEK: No
TWEEK: I'm not feeding her that garbage
PIP: Can we just get a round of tater tots?
PIP: Please
HEIDI: Sure
HEIDI: Whatever gets me to stop talking to you
HEIDI: And whatever gets me paid
PIP: Well! That went over nicely!
TWEEK: You slapped me
PIP: It's a start
TWEEK: No
TWEEK: It's really not
PIP: I'm recovering
PIP: I'm changing
PIP: I'm metamorphosing
PIP: I'm evolving
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: Whatever
TWEEK: You seeing this shit, Silly String?
SILLY STRING: ( Grunt of disapproval )
PIP: What, so you’re getting your child to hate me too?
TWEEK: You hate us
PIP: I mean
PIP: True
PIP: But I'm changing
TWEEK: Liar
PIP: Okay I'm lying
PIP: But Estella put me in a fucking time out
PIP: So I have to act nice
PIP: Even though I really
PIP: REEEEALLY
PIP: Don’t want to be
SILLY STRING: ( confused grunt )
TWEEK: Estella's your grandma, Silly String
SILLY STRING: ( surprised grunt )
PIP: Ugh
PIP: I hate Mum…
TWEEK: You see her as a mom too?
PIP: I
PIP: Uh
PIP: NO
PIP: I NEVER SAID THAT
PIP: She's just so overprotective of us all the damn time
PIP: IT'S ANNOYING
TWEEK: SHhh
TWEEK: Don't shout!
TWEEK: There's people behind us…
TWEEK: Why the fuck are they looking at us like that?
PIP: It's the queer stare
PIP: They're harshly judging you
TWEEK: Oh god…
TWEEK: Heyyyyy
TWEEK: Silly String, say hi
SILLY STRING: ( excited grunting )
TWEEK: You all look
TWEEK: SO cool
TWEEK: Did you come from the Pride Parade?
TWEEK: Er- I mean…
TWEEK: Uh…
TWEEK: This is my son
TWEEK: …Daughter?
TWEEK: Child?
TWEEK: I don't know what Silly String is…
PIP: Didn’t you call her, “her ” earlier?
TWEEK: I mean,
TWEEK: YEAH
TWEEK: That doesn't mean I know
TWEEK: Wait
TWEEK: What are you, Silly String?
SILLY STRING: ( I don't know grunt )
PIP: It's a mystery!
PIP: How are you all this lovely evening?
PIP: Just SWELL I presume?
TWEEK: Pip your eye is twitching
PIP: IT'S HAPPY SEIZING!!!
TWEEK: No… no pretty sure it's twitching
PIP: HAPPY. SEIZING. I'M SO JOYFUL I'M EXPRESSING IT THROUGH MY EYE!
TWEEK: …Sure…
(Edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)
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TOLKIEN: Zzzzzzzzrzrzrzrrzzzz
TOLKIEN: Zzazzazazezezezezezrzrzzrrzrrr
PHONE: ♪ I'M A BARBIE GIRL ♪
PHONE: ♪ IN THE BARBIE WORLD ♪
PHONE: ♪ LIFE IN PLASTIC ♪
PHONE: ♪ IT'S FANTASTIC ♪
TOLKIEN: Huhhheheehdbfd…
TOLKIEN: Huh
TOLKIEN: What
TOLKIEN: What the fuck?
TOLKIEN: Why is my phone going off?
TOLKIEN: Are the fucking queers calling me again?
TOLKIEN: Eeeeyup its them
TOLKIEN: What
GARY: Have you ever been beaten by a wet spaghetti noodle by your girlfriend cuz she has a twin sister and you got confused and fucked her dad, well that’s how it feels to drive a Ford F-250. That sounds really cool. But you know what else is cool? The new 2020 Ford F-150, winner of 10 J.D. power awards. Perfect for hauling big things and going long distances. But you want to go offroad? Try the new Raptor Edition, which cannot just go offroad, it is perfect for going extreme off-roading. You can go rock climbing or across a desert, really quickly. It is also good for the great American thing - BBQs! In fact, you can haul MORE than one oven! That's pretty cool, huh? So hurry, and buy the new 2020 Ford F-150, now for sale at your local Ford dealership.
RED: Wgat
RED: Stop
RED: Stop speaking
BEBE: Girl get the tape from the backseat
RED: Already on it
NICHOLE: Heyyyy Tolkien
NICHOLE: Did I wake you?
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: No..
NICHOLE: Oh
NICHOLE: That’s
NICHOLE: That's good
TOLKIEN: What's going on
NICHOLE: So uhm
NICHOLE: Ahahaha
NICHOLE: Funny story
TOLKIEN: Nichole what did you do??
TOLKIEN: Did you fuckin
TOLKIEN: Commit fraud?
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: Again?
NICHOLE: What
NICHOLE: No
NICHOLE: Of course not
NICHOLE: I am a law abiding citizen
NICHOLE: Except for when it comes to the Barbie Movies
TOLKIEN: Okay? We’ve all pirated a Barbie Movie
TOLKIEN: What makes you special?
TOLKIEN: If it's not fraud or piracy what did you even do
NICHOLE: There’s a sentient advertisement in our Porsche now
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: Excuse me?
NICHOLE: Yeah uh
NICHOLE: We saw Gary
NICHOLE: Or G-4R-Y if you wanna use his actual name?
NICHOLE: Fuck I don't know anymore
NICHOLE: He was walking in the cold for some reason?
NICHOLE: And you know how he only speaks in ads?
TOLKIEN: We all do
BEBE: Wait BITCH do you think we could reprogram him to be like
BEBE: An ALEXA???
GARY: Need some music for that impromptu dance off? Ask Alexa to play songs or playlists from Prime Music and Spotify so you're always ready to show off your sweet moves-if that's what you call them ;) "Amazon Echo: Alec Baldwin and Missy Elliott Dance Party Commercial" via @popisms :https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016
GARY: I really don't want you to see me like this. You need some entrance music. Alexa, play Alex dance playlist. Playing Alex playlist. That's dance music? Alexa, play Pep Rally by Missy Elliott. Really? Perfect! I got a little something for you. It's beautiful. Does this mean I'm gonna be in your next video? Let me see what you got. (Lyrics) Anything you want me to (Lyrics) Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Oh, this a pep rally Pep rally, pep rally, pep rally Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce, bounce Where my clappers that stomp? Now rock with it Bounce, biggity bounce, biggity-biggity bounce via @popisms : https://www.popisms.com/TelevisionCommercial/126873/Amazon-Echo-Commercial-2016
GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!
RED: I mean
RED: I’ll become a mechanic if it gets him to stfu 💀💀💀
WENDY: No- RED- NO PUT THE WRENCH DOWN!
RED: FUCK YOU
GARY: The future. You used to chase it. Now you’re living in it. The Wavefront is an all-electric automobile that propels driving into a new era. With sleek, aerodynamic design, and ultrasonic sensors that prevent collisions, there’s no more getting left behind. Life’s short. Drive fast.
GARY: I’m Gary! The Mormon who advertises!
RED: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
WENDY: RED!! NO!!
BEBE: GIRLY POPS AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU
BEBE: I'M GONNA HIT A DEER IF YOU ALL DONT HUSH
RED: WENDY LET ME GO I'M GONNA KILL HIM
WENDY: WE ARE NOT KILLING THE AD
NICHOLE: SHUT THE FUCK UP IM ON THE PHONE
BEBE: SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M DRIVING!!!!
RED: CAN I THROW HIM OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR??!?!?!?!?!?
WENDY AND NICHOLE: NO!!!
NICHOLE: Tolkien I'm gonna have to let you go
NICHOLE: We might die-
NICHOLE: RED PUT DOWN THE WRENCH YOU'RE GONNA KILL SOMEONE!
RED: THAT'S THE GOAL!!
GARY: As a parent, I want to know that my kids are safe wherever they are. That includes riding in the car. With the new Carpool Optic from Solar I can breathe easy knowing my kids will arrive where they need to safely – whether I am the driver or not.
RED: AUGHHHH!!!!!!
NICHOLE: I’m hanging up now
NICHOLE: MMMMMMMMMOKAYBYE
TOLKIEN: Bye?
(Beep Beep Beep)
TOLKIEN: Jesus christ
TOLKIEN: (Yawn)
TOLKIEN: Man
KENNY: Hey
TOLKIEN: Ah!
TOLKIEN: Oh my god I got jumpscared by a fucking queer!
KENNY: Oh hardy har har har
KENNY: You got games on yo phone?
TOLKIEN: …
TOLKIEN: What
KENNY: Do you got games
KENNY: On yo phone
TOLKIEN: I mean like
TOLKIEN: I got like
TOLKIEN: Subway surfers??
TOLKIEN: If
TOLKIEN: If that works???
TOLKIEN: Uh
TOLKIEN: Ok?????
TOLKIEN: Here
KENNY: Thanks
KENNY: Oh yeah, can I call my sister while I play subway surfers?
KENNY: I gotta make sure she’s not
KENNY: Yknow
KENNY: Fuckin’ dead
TOLKIEN: No you’re gonna kill my damn battery
TOLKIEN: Just call your sister you dont need to play fucking subway surfers
KENNY: Fine
KENNY: Killjoy
TOLKIEN: Ugh
KAREN: I can't believe McDonald's served me that lukewarm fucking patty
KAREN: And then had the AUDACITY to tell me
KAREN: That it gets cold over time!?!?
KAREN: I think they just undercooked it ON PURPOSE to make ME look like an idiot
TRICIA: Damn, that's crazy
(🎵 KAREN METAL 🎵 )
KAREN: OH MY GOD
KAREN: WHO'S CALLING ME AT EXACTLY 1:59 IN THE MORNING?!?!?
TRICIA: Bro just say 2 AM 💀
TRICIA: …
TRICIA: I can’t believe I just said that out loud
KAREN: WHAT?!?!?
KENNY: Hi
KAREN: WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?!?!?
KAREN: DO YOU KNOW HOW LATE IT IS?!?!?!
KAREN: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER
KENNY: Sis it's me
KAREN: UGHHHHH
KAREN: You missed your nail appointment
KENNY: Shiiiit that was today?
KAREN: You still owe me the money for it
KENNY: …
KENNY: Karen, we don't have money, we’re poor
KAREN: Get a job
KENNY: …I do have a job
KAREN: Okay so then you have money?
KENNY: No
KAREN: That doesn't make sense
KENNY: Anyways-
KENNY: You alive?
KAREN: Clearly
KENNY: Okay cool
KENNY: So uh
KENNY: There's demons around, I hope they find you and kill you and you die bye
KAREN: …What?
KAREN: Tricia do you know what the fuck he’s talking about?
TRICIA: No
TRICIA: Also stop calling on speakerphone
TRICIA: You remind me of my brother (derogatorily)
TRICIA: …
TRICIA: WHY DO I KEEP DOING THAT!?!??!
TRICIA: UGHHH
TRICIA: I’m gonna go yell at my brother by cursing me into the influencer gene pool
TRICIA: You wanna come?
KAREN: If I get to yell at someone, of course
TRICIA: Be-
TRICIA: …
TRICIA: I'm not even gonna say that
CRAIG: Who the fuck where you talking to
CRAIG: I feel like they were talking shit smh my head
KENNY: Oh just my bitch sister and your bitch sister
KENNY: Told her she was gonna die soon
CRAIG: LMAOOOO I’m dead 💀💀💀
KENNY: Lol it was funny she was so mad
TOLKIEN: I swear to god you guys are the same person sometimes
CRAIG: Smh my head no literally untrue
KENNY: Common Tolkien L
TOLKIEN: I want you both dead
CRAIG: …
KENNY: …
TRICIA: Okay where tf is blud
TRICIA: I'm gonna kill his ass
KAREN: Ugh
KAREN: He probably set up Kenny to fucking prank us
KAREN: Going to yell at them both when we find them
TRICIA: For real
TRICIA: Smh my fucking head
TRICIA: OH MY GOD CAN I STOP DOING THAT!?!?
KAREN: There's his door
KAREN: Should I kick it down?
TRICIA: No he will literally kill me
TRICIA: Instead we’re gonna go in his room
TRICIA: Steal all his shit
TRICIA: And fucking burn it
KAREN: Ohh yay! Property damage! My favorite!
TRICIA: Shhh shhh shhhh
TRICIA: Stfu
TRICIA: He’ll hear us
KAREN: No
KAREN: You're not the boss of me
TRICIA: Okay
TRICIA: On three
TRICIA: One- Two-
KAREN: THREE
KAREN: Ew it's so dark in here
KAREN: It smells like fucking Ccool Ranch Doritos in here
TRICIA: Shut the fuck up
TRICIA: He’s gonna hear you
TRICIA: I know where he keeps his Supreme hoodies
TRICIA: HOOOOOLY SHIT IS THAT A DEAD BODY!??!?!?!?
KAREN: AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
KAREN: WE ARE GONNA DIE
KAREN: GET THE MANAGER!!
TRICIA: SHUT THE FUCK UP THE KILLER COULD STILL BE HERE YOU QUEERMO
GREGORY AND ESTELLA: Shhhhh he eepy
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
TRICIA: …
KAREN: …
KAREN AND TRICIA: AAAAAAAAAAA-
TRICIA: Okay
TRICIA: HAILLLL NAWHHHHH
KAREN: I’m calling the police
TRICIA: That is the smartest thing you could ever do
KAREN: Hello? 911?
KAREN: Hi yeah, there's some queers in our house
KAREN: Please come
KAREN: Bye
(Edits made by @pissblanket and @cattpup5)
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GREGORY: Well! That was incredibly draining.
ESTELLA: Oh don’t you even start, young man!
ESTELLA: You barely did a thing!
GREGORY: Oh I HELPED!!!
ESTELLA: When I ASKED!!!
ESTELLA: You were more concerned with playing Papa’s Cupcakeria!
GREGORY: That game is really fun, okay?!
ESTELLA: Whatever, what shall we do now?
GREGORY: …Play Papa’s Cupcakeria together?
ESTELLA: No thank you.
ESTELLA: I do not mean to offend, but If I hear that game’s soundtrack one more time I will throw that computer.
GREGORY: Hmmm…
GREGORY: I know!
GREGORY: We could play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!
ESTELLA: NO!!!!
ESTELLA: That game is lewd, violent, and inappropriate!
ESTELLA: Who would we even be kissing, marrying, and killing in these scenarios???
GREGORY: Why, the humans, of course!
ESTELLA: Absolutely not.
GREGORY: Awww! Pleeeease??
ESTELLA: Gregory. Bellarose.
GREGORY: Pretty please?
ESTELLA: Gregory. Wolfgang. Bellarose.
GREGORY: What if I said pretty please with a cherry on top covered in a banana sundae?
ESTELLA: …
ESTELLA: I do like banana sundaes…
GREGORY: Wonderful!!!
GREGORY: Starting off strongly, Craig.
GREGORY: Can we agree to kill this one?
ESTELLA: As a pacifist, I firmly believe others do not deserve death…
ESTELLA: ….
ESTEALLA: However
ESTELLA: He has gone through great lengths to ensure your internet extravaganza is as unenjoyable as possible, so I agree.
ESTELLA: Put the boy in the Pear Wiggler.
GREGORY: I did not expect that, being honest…
ESTELLA: No.
ESTELLA: Kill this one too.
GREGORY: Estella! I am surprised at you!
ESTELLA: I had to be in. That INCELS body. For three. Hours.
ESTELLA: I could not bathe.
ESTELLA: The body was constantly SHITTING itself.
ESTELLA: And he smelt of doritos and body odor.
ESTELLA: I think my choice is justified.
GREGORY: Okay queen, that was actually really slay of you! Go off!
GREGORY: I think his little ex is more tolerable, though!
ESTELLA: I hate to be mean, but he was right to break up with him.
GREGORY: Exactly! Those nasty ass hands…
ESTELLA: Please don't remind me…
ESTELLA: Now, I wouldn't marry Tolkien, but a smooch wouldn't hurt anyone.
GREGORY: For what he did to Clyde I'd get down on my knees and start throwing rings at him.
ESTELLA: I thought you liked that Stanley boy?
GREGORY: Mmmm…
GREGORY: Reconsidering my options….
ESTELLA: Oh dear, why so?
GREGORY: HE WON’T SMOOCH ME!!!!
ESTELLA: That is his loss then! You are a wonderful boy, Gregory. You deserve better.
GREGORY: Estella you don't get it.
GREGORY: Dad bods and pathetic men are my weakness.
ESTELLA: Gregory…. Raise your standards for your own sake…
GREGORY: If my standards went any higher, I'd be single for life.
ESTELLA: Fair enough, I suppose…
GREGORY: WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME WHY WON'T YOU SMOOCH ME!!!???
ESTELLA: He may not like men, dear….
GREGORY: HOMOPHOBIA!!! HE IS HOMOPHOBIC!!!!! HE DOESN'T WANT TO KISS ME AND THAT MAKES HIM A HOMOPHOBE!!!!
ESTELLA: I suppose I'm killing this one too…
GREGORY: I'm forcing him into marriage. He. Will. Kiss. Me.
ESTELLA: Gregory, calm down.
ESTELLA: You're here, I need you here.
GREGORY: Sorry… sorry…
GREGORY: Oh Dear look at that one…
GREGORY: Green is NOT his color…
ESTELLA: Don't be rude! You can not bully him!
GREGORY: What? It's not bullying! It's an astute observation! He's a ginger! Gingers don't look good in lime green! It's constructive criticism!!!
GREGORY: Oughh… I think I'm going to have to kill him…
ESTELLA: GREGORY!!!
ESTELLA: (Sigh)
ESTELLA: I for one, think he's a nice boy, and will give him a little smooch, as a treat.
GREGORY: Erm… which one's this again?
ESTELLA: Oh I'm afraid I don't know.
GREGORY: Is he new or something?
ESTELLA; Oh no no no! I think he's the blue haired Fellow!
ESTELLA: TrollyHomme was his name, right?
GREGORY: Hell-
ESTELLA: Language
GREGORY: -If I know
ESTELLA: Hmmmm….
GREGORY: Kill?
ESTELLA: Kill?
GREGORY: Kill.
ESTELLA: Mhm.
GREGORY: Hmmm, I'm not sure about this one?
GREGORY: I think this will be the first one I kiss.
GREGORY: That country accent weakens me.
ESTELLA: What accent he speaks in mumbles.
GREGORY: You can hear it sometimes!!!
ESTELLA: No you cannot.
GREGORY: How can you not?? It's so obvious!
ESTELLA: I have no comment on this one. He smells of metal, which concerns me.
GREGORY: Why? He could just be a mechanic?
ESTELLA: Or a murdering robot.
GREGORY: Oh please! They haven't been active in centuries, we'll live.
(edits made by @pissblanket)
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GREGORY: HELLOOOOO MY BONITA FABULOSO QUEENIES!
GREGORY: It’s me, Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd, queer. Today, my little munchkirooroos, It's show and tell!!!!!!
GREGORY: Unfortunately, I am the only active participant :(. You see, Estella is busy, the other two are out, and Tommyboy is feeling a bit under the weather (he is muy muy dead).
GERGORY: But that won’t take away my sparkle. ✨️✨️✨️✨️💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋💋😘😘😘😘😘😚😚😚😚😚😽😽😽😽💏💏💏💏💏🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈👬👬👬👬👬💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🩰🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺🕺
GREGORY: Here, I have some amazing pictures that were taken on my polaroid 🤩😍😘
GREGORY: FYI, i was QUITE the photographer in my day. I took pictures of THE Mona Lisa, Marie Antoniette AND Napoleon Bonaparte!!!!!!! You know that one meme? I took the picture for it. (Not to mention the others I’ve taken photos of [Albert Einstein, Joan of Arc, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King Jr, Sigmund Freud, The Virgin Mary, Abraham Lincoln, Emmanuel Macron, Aaron Powell, The Girl With a Pearl Earring, Shakespeare, Uncle Sam, Maya Angelo, Joseph Stalin, Count Saint Germain, Friedrich Nietzsche, Socrates, King Edward II, Bugs Bunny, Alexander Hamiliton, Karl Marx, JFK, Cleopatra, Nikola Tesla, and Babe Ruth. <3])
GREGORY: This first group here shows a militia of degenerates. They all equally smell like tar, except for the one with the… excrement on his hands.
GREGORY: I’m still a bit peeved with Stanley because of his blatant homophobia.
GREGORY: It’s insane to think that someone WOULDN’T want to kiss ME.
GREGORY: And now here, as you can see, is my lovely friend group. OHHMYGOSH we’re like a big happy family!!!!!!
GREGORY: Mm, I think we can all tell who the responsible adults and the idiot children are…
GREGORY: Madam Estella will take good care of everyone, even though they’re not all made equally.
GREGORY: But, after witnessing such accurate lifelike portyals (because I took them on my pink polaroid) ((and they’re very real)) I believe we can conclude this update.
GREGORY: Do go follow my other socials for updates on my mukbang stream! I’m eating everything I can find in Craig’s pantry! <3
(Writen and edited mostly by @pissblanket, I [@imlivinginyourtrashcan] helped with a bit of writing and drew both the pictures and edited them, enjoyyy!)
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GREGORY: Ugh
GREGORY: That one girls hair looked so ugly
GREGORY: It didn't match her clothes at all
GREGORY: I can just tell she’s related to Craig_The_Real_Tucker
ESTELLA: Gregory!! Do NOT be rude!
GREGORY: What!?! I’m just saying!
ESTELLA: They are just children!
GREGORY: So? Children can be ugly as fuck, too!
ESTELLA: Gregory. Don’t make me do the count
GREGORY: Yes, ma'am...
ESTELLA: Well, we cannot discuss anything until Phillip, Tweek and Thomas are back
GREGORY: Ugh, seriously?
ESTELLA: You know our "nobody left behind policy", Gregory!
GREGORY: So what are we supposed to do?
ESTELLA: I suppose we shall have to wait
GREGORY: Hell no
ESTELLA: Language, Gregory!
GREGORY: I’m looking around for something to do
GREGORY: Ugh, there's a drawer full of Supreme hoodies
GREGORY: No way in the seven layers of hell will I ever put these disgraces of fashion on him
ESTELLA: Language!
GREGORY: Hell isn't a curse word, Madame Estella
ESTELLA: It very much so is
GREGORY: This is still not going on him, no matter your insistence.
ESTELLA: He needs warmth Gregory
GREGORY: There's always the option of burning these.
ESTELLA: Quit it!
GREGORY: (scoff)
GREGORY: It doesn’t even suit him well in this lighting anyway
GREGORY: The white barely complements anything
ESTELLA: Young man, i mean it
ESTELLA: Knock. It. Off.
GREGORY: Alright, I suppose no more nitpicking for me…
GREGORY: This will unfortunately have to do…
ESTELLA: While we’re here we may as well close this portal up
GREGORY: Why??
ESTELLA: So no other demons wander and get hurt, of course!
GREGORY: Oh you and your safety
ESTELLA: I don't want the parents of these implings to start worrying if their child goes missing!
ESTELLA: Would you mind giving me a hand?
ESTELLA: I can’t exactly do this type of magic by myself
GREGORY: No!
ESTELLA: Gregory, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!
GREGORY: I’M NOT DOING JACK SHIT I JUST GOT MY NAILS DONE!!!
ESTELLA: LANGUAGE!!!!
ESTELLA: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE GROUNDED TOO?!?!
GREGORY: WE ARE THE SAME AGE YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVER ME
ESTELLA: OH YES I DO!! DON’T THINK I WON'T GO THROUGH YOUR INSTAGRAM DRAFTS
GREGORY: YOU WOULDN’T
ESTELLA: I VERY MUCH SO WOULD.
GREGORY: UGH! FINE! I'LL HELP!!
GREGORY: BUT I AM NOT STANDING!
ESTELLA: Thank you!
GREGORY: (scoff)
GREGORY: (eyeroll)
GREGORY: …?
GREGORY: Oh ho ho! NOW we’re talking!
ESTELLA: Gregory, what are you giggling about?
GREGORY: Ohhhh nothing~
ESTELLA: If you so much as BREATHE on that lap top young man, the last thing that you will be seeing is my sandal
GREGORY: I never said I was going to touch it!
ESTELLA: Well I can tell you were! No electronics until you help me fix this!
GREGORY: Yes ma’am…
ESTELLA: Although…. I suppose you have been very good up until now…
ESTELLA: If you say that you’re sorry for the way that you acted, I allow you to go on the computer until I need you
ESTELLA: But you HAVE to mean it!
ESTELLA: No sarcasm!
GREGORY: Right, right,
GREGORY: I want to apologize to you for what I did, it was VERY wrong and I am VERY sorry
GREGORY: I just would like to move on and lead a normal life, you know?
GREGORY: Get a job, a husband, and change my ways.
GREGORY: I hope this apology impresses you, even though you made me do it and I don’t actually mean it.
ESTELLA: You mean you do mean it?
GREGORY: I mean i do mean it
ESTELLA: Hmmm…..
ESTELLA: I suppose that will do
ESTELLA: Go on, then,
ESTELLA: I'll let you know when you're needed
ESTELLA: Do not give me sass when I need you, either, or else you won't have ANY computer time!
GREGORY: Hooray! Thank you, Estella!
GREGORY: Time to scroll through Instagram reels and hate myself!
(Images edited by @pissblanket)
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*What?! Craig said I can slap people through the phone, though???? HE LIED TO ME!?
Yeah, yeah he did.
-Tolkien
Oh dear me! That's coming on quite strong, I believe. Besides, I believe I am thousands of millennia of your senior, it sadly wouldn't work. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I am afraid I can't marry you :(
With Love,
Estella <3
Why thank you! (That's a compliment, right?)
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Oh thank you very much, Estella! You're too kind. I'll take on dinner for tomorrow night, I was thinking tofu tacos? I saw a recipe on Tiktok and it seemed absolutely DIVINE!
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Ah, such kind words, Sugurx3
I'm coming for you, next <3
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
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What the FREAK!!!
Literally get out of there smh my head
-Craig_The_Real_Tucker
Yes of course!! You're so stunning Holly!! If you'd like to come over and paint each others nails I'd be more than happy too!! <333
Also your fashion sense is DIVINE, people could learn a thing or two from you!
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Finally, a bloke with fucking common sense. Truly so hard to find these days.
-Pip P.
My word! Please do not resort to such drastic measures!
I'm sorry to disappoint you but my answer still remains the same, It is a firm NO, if you cannot respect my wishes than I will no longer answer your asks.
I apologize for being so direct, but I feel as if It must be done.
With love,
Estella.
Didn't she tell you no? I'm sorry but I have to respect her wishes, I love her too much to do this to her (platonically, of course). But I mean.... I'm not opposed to getting a partner... (just... you know... throwing that out there...)
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
WHAT TEHD FFJUXCK WHERED YOU GET THAT YORUEE A SPY YOURE ASPY LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT PAYIENG MY TAGCES
-Stan
Oh you poor thing!
Why yes of course! I love collaborating with my fans! They've all been such lovely people, as long as you're okay with me doing your makeup/being on video in general, I'd happily collab! Just let me know where and when
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Literally what the FREAK!!! It's been X for like... a month??? Maybe more?? Smh my fucking head
Hey Anon,
I've got to say, your recent comment about my hair was seriously uncalled for. "Ugly"? Really?
I'm all for expressing opinions, but let's try to keep it real here – your choice of words was downright rude and offensive. It's my hair, not yours, and I don't recall asking for your unsolicited critique.
If you've got an issue or if my hair somehow offends your delicate sensibilities, how about expressing it like a decent human being instead of resorting to insults? It's infuriating to think that someone I know can be so insensitive.
Next time you feel the urge to be brutally honest, maybe take a moment to consider how it might feel on the receiving end. Constructive criticism is one thing, but your comment was just plain mean.
Not impressed,
Blue_Haired_Cartman
That's okay, everyone's entitled to their own opinion,
but it doesn't mean that opinion is correct :)
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You say that like you expect me to care.
News flash, I don't.
-Tolkien (fuck you)
There might be, but that's none of your business
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Oh em geeee.... rlly? Pls show me when ur doneeee <3
-Craig_The_Real_Tucker
MAYBE???? WHOOS ASKING?????
-TWEEK
HMMMMM... how many followers do you have?
-Bebe_The_Slaybe
...What?
I'm going to pretend as if that made any sense at all, and I say, fuck off mate. I don't care if you think I taste bad, why the fuck are you eating me anyway you cannibalistic shithead!?
Leave me the fuck alone, you should feel bad for wasting my fucking time. Bloody hell.
-Pip P.
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PIP: ( In tune with the Mario item collect or something )
PIP: The laundromat!
TWEEK: HOLY SHIT IT'S HUGE
PIP: That's not something you say very often
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: What?
PIP: Oh nothing… nothing…
PIP: Let's just
PIP: Go in
THOSE FUCKS: …
THESE FUCKS: ….
PIP: Who
PIP: The FUCK
PIP: Let all these failed abortions through the portal?
TWEEK: Oh my god that's a lot of kids…
TWEEK: Where are your parents lil' guys?
PIP: Don’t talk to them
PIP: They're ugly
TWEEK: What's up your ass today??
PIP: Wouldn’t you like to know
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: Scratch that, no I would not
PIP: Anyways!
PIP: To the washing machine we gooo!
TWEEK: Please, don't shove me in there
PIP: Hahah!
PIP: …
PIP: Tweek
PIP: Do you want your puddin or not?
TWEEK: Y-
TWEEK: Yeah!
TWEEK: Yeah I want my puddin!
PIP: You know the deal
PIP: Get in
TWEEK: …Do I have to?
TWEEK: There's already stuff in there
TWEEK: Like
TWEEK: Spinning
TWEEK: Round and round
TWEEK: I'm getting dizzy looking at it
PIP: Just get in you fucking baby
TWEEK: Do I really, REALLY have to?
PIP: Yes
PIP: Would you rather I shove in your little friend?
TWEEK: My
TWEEK: My what?
PIP: That little creature next to you
TWEEK: Oh…?
TWEEK: That thing?
TWEEK: Uh…
TWEEK: Oh that
TWEEK: That's…
TWEEK: Clyde and I's child
PIP: …
PIP: What
TWEEK: Yeah! And I can't go inside because…
TWEEK: Because…
TWEEK: I have to make sure my childs not
TWEEK: Uh…
TWEEK: Committing….
TWEEK: Crimes?
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: ….
TWEEK: ….
PIP: Eh
PIP: Fuck it
PIP: Fine
PIP: I won't shove you in there
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: Am I hearing that right?
TWEEK: …
TWEEK: Alright buddy
TWEEK: Who are you and what have you done with the real Pip?
PIP: Oh whatever do you mean?
TWEEK: The real Pip wouldn’t spare me!
TWEEK: He’d just-
TWEEK: Throw me in there without a second thought!
PIP: You’re right Tweek!
PIP: But you know what?
PIP: As of right now
PIP: I'm making a commitment!
PIP: To being nicer!!!!!!!!!
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: No
TWEEK: What
TWEEK: This can't be fucking real
TWEEK: You called me a slur 690,000,420 times!
TWEEK: I counted!!
PIP: What?
PIP: Me?
PIP: Nooooooo~
TWEEK: YOU CALL US ALL FAGGOTS DAILY
TWEEK: YOU HATE US ALL
TWEEK: WHAT
TWEEK: WHY HERE
TWEEK: WHY NOW
TWEEK: WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME!??!?!?
PIP: Oh Tweek, Tweek, Tweek
PIP: Tweek, Tweek, Tweek, Tweek, Tweek
PIP: I was just in
PIP: A silly goofy mood
(edits made by @pissblanket and @zemoleinyourtrashcan)
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assuming you met ask in the inbox,
gregory! how do you keep your skin and hair so beautiful? do you possibly using korean skincare and indian haircare? you are absolutely stunning and way better than craig. we shall form a craig hate club! anywho, please do let me know how you look so young and ethereal all the time.
Oh my! That's so sweet of you!
My skincare routine requires a LOT, but if you're that curious, I'll share my little secrets with you:
My morning routine:
Cleanser
Toner
Serum (Vitamin C)
Eye Cream
Moisturizer.
Sunscreen
Makeup <3
My evening routine:
Makeup Remover/Cleansing Oil
Cleanser
Exfoliation (2-3 times a week)
Toner
Sheet Mask (1-2 times a week)
Serum (Hyaluronic Acid, Retinol, or other targeted treatments)
Eye Cream
Moisturizer
Face Oil
Exfoliating Mask
Clay Mask
Overnight Mask
Now for my hair care!
Shampoo
Conditioner
Scalp Massage
Leave-In Conditioner/Detangler
Heat Protectant (if i'm using heat styling).
Scalp Exfoliatio
Pre-Shampoo Treatment
Deep Conditioning Treatment
Protein Treatment
Hair Gloss or Color Treatment
Now you too can have fabulous locks! Me personally, I reccomend using Pantine as your shampoo <3
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
P.S. I'm willing to take your offer on the Craig_The_Real_Tucker hate club.
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oh em geee... thanks bestie... ur like... so slay queen girlboss mother, absolutely serving cunt, ilysm <3 -Craig_The_Real_Tucker
Erm... no? I do not have a low taper fade, dear. -Estella
Awww, rats, I wanted the Sabrina Carpenter to my David Dobrik, smh :/ -Bebe_The_Slaybe
AUGH WHY DO THE PEOPLE I WANT TO SMOOCH NEVER WANT TO SMOOCH ME?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK!!! HOMOPHOBIA!!!
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
Oh my goodness! Thank you, darling! You're all so sweet <3
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
WHAT THE FUKC!!! ALIENS!!!! ALIENS ARE PROBING ME!!! DO NO)T BELIEVE A WORD THEY SAY!!! LIARS!!! ALL OF THEM -STAN
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Would you guys happen to make (or already have) full reference photos? (edited verison of hellpark photos)
plsss we would loce to do a drawinf of them :3 -wendh
We do, actually!
Made by our lovely mods @cattpup5 and @pissblanket <3 Tag us in anything you make! We'd love to see it! We all lost our minds when we saw that G4-RY fanart someone made haha
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Is Getory any more famous than u Criagory? (I scheduled an appointment. cidoe PLEASE)
Oh? Indeed I am, I have 14 Million followers on TikTok while he has a measly 69 😒
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
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Gregory
Can you give me tips about your makeup
Also
You’re better then that stinky poopy head Craig
Thank you so much! I know I am so much better than that supreme shitstain <3
If you're looking for makeup tips, you're asking the right person!
Start with a Clean Canvas:
Begin your makeup routine with a clean and moisturized face to ensure a smooth application.
Use Primer:
Apply a makeup primer to create a smooth base, minimize pores, and help your makeup last longer.
Choose the Right Foundation:
Select a foundation that matches your skin tone and undertone. Test it on your jawline for the most accurate match.
Blend, Blend, Blend:
Blend your foundation and other face products seamlessly into your skin for a natural finish. A makeup sponge or brush can be helpful for this.
Concealer Technique:
Apply concealer in a triangular shape under your eyes to brighten and conceal dark circles. Use a shade slightly lighter than your foundation.
Set with Powder:
Set your makeup with a translucent powder to control shine and increase the longevity of your look.
Contour and Highlight Strategically:
Contour areas like the hollows of your cheeks, jawline, and sides of your nose. Highlight the high points of your face, like cheekbones and the bridge of your nose.
Blush Placement:
Smile and apply blush to the apples of your cheeks for a youthful and lifted effect.
Eyebrows Frame the Face:
Fill in your eyebrows to frame your face. Use a pencil, powder, or gel, depending on your preference.
Eye Primer:
Apply an eye primer before eyeshadow to enhance color payoff and prevent creasing.
Transition Shade:
Start your eyeshadow look with a neutral transition shade to create depth and seamlessly blend other colors.
Define Your Eyes:
Use eyeliner to define your eyes. Experiment with different styles, like winged liner or tightlining, to achieve the desired effect.
Lash Curler Magic:
Curl your lashes before applying mascara to open up your eyes and create a wide-awake look.
Mascara Application:
Wiggle the mascara wand at the base of your lashes and then comb through to the tips for voluminous lashes.
Lips:
Exfoliate your lips for a smooth application of lipstick or gloss. Consider using a lip liner to define your lip shape.
Choose Lip Colors Wisely:
Select lip colors that complement your overall makeup look and outfit. Consider your skin tone and the occasion.
Setting Spray:
Set your makeup with a setting spray to lock in your look and keep it fresh throughout the day.
Clean Your Brushes:
Regularly clean your makeup brushes to prevent breakouts and ensure smooth makeup application.
Experiment and Have Fun:
Makeup is an art form, so don't be afraid to experiment with colors, techniques, and styles. Have fun expressing your creativity!
Natural Lighting:
When possible, apply your makeup in natural lighting to ensure that you get a true sense of colors.
Use these tips wisely, slay queen!! I just know you'll turn out BEAUTIFUL!! (Not that you weren't already ;) )
-Gregory_Cutie_Pie_3rd
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