I can't hear the thunder I can only hear your heart Beating after beating Happy in the dark

So does everyone have that experience in their twenties when they're going through the crevices of their drawers and they pull out an old diary entry from when they're 14 and it hurts so much, you're crying and you don't even realise it, and you want to write back to them and say something, anything, but what could you say? Would your words even get through to them? Are they in too much pain to want to hear you? Would you just be another random adult giving advice that seems too abstract, too meaningless, too out of touch with how real their pain is? You don't want to tell them it's all going to be okay. They don't care. And you realise nobody ever told you that you were a fully fledged human then, with all the rights of any person, and yes, that it would get better but that you deserved someone to love you now, you deserved community now, you felt in an unspoken limbo, waiting for the good part? and they put the entry away or go to throw it out but can't do it because they need proof they were hurting, not just being difficult on purpose, so it just sits folded on your desk for a few days. Or is it just me

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hmm, i have not spoken in a while, have i......

smoking the shit that made Monster High

The Dante goes IN the barbie movie cowboy fit.

man, time may be the primary driving force of tragedy in goncharov in the sense that it’s constantly running out, but i think it’s definitely also in the sense that it’s immutable, or at least, that changing one thing would change everything and therefore would lead to loss either way. especially wrt goncharov, katya, sofia, and andrey’s relationships with each other, there’s this pervasive sense that if things had just been different then maybe they could have loved each other or been good friends (especially katya and sofia, like katya specifically laments about things being different in the scene with the pearls). and there are so many moments where it seems like katya and sofia could really love each other, or goncharov and katya, or goncharov and andrey, etc. etc. if things were just slightly different. but by the third act, after the scene at les poisson, it becomes clear that if past circumstances were any different, they just never would have met. and the same would be true if their current circumstances were different - they would not be the same people, they wouldn’t feel the same, it wouldn’t work. time is what drives them together as much as it drives them apart, and they can’t have one without the other. the fact is that they’re all here together, imperfectly matched, loved and hated and everything in between, hurtling towards their unavoidable fates. they’re doomed to know each other like this or not at all. it was never going to work for any of them. it never could

nesunku šikt, kai subinė pilna.

(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Dave Hammond - All My World

Maharaja Night Hi-NRG Revolution Vol.5

1993

I keep finding traces of water around the estate. It’s quite funny, actually.