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thebargainingchip · 4 years

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Blood Colors - Chapter 18

Masterlist

Pairing: Roan x Reader

Warnings: Angsty, Fluff

Previous Chapter

Chapter 1

A feeling of dread sits in the pool of your stomach when you're back in Polis. There’s no escaping the feeling or distracting yourself, you are soon caught up in wedding plans which you barely have a say in. “Deyon, osir ste won. Moron, osir gondaun ogeda(Today, we are one. Tomorrow, we fight together)”

“Gonplei.” Echo corrects, you avoid Roan’s pointed gaze, you feel like you can’t breath with him so close, you didn’t want to think about what this means.

“Gondaun, gonplei. It all means the same thing.” You shoot-back.

“It does, though they are different but you need to say it exactly.” Roan says, and for a moment your eyes connect and you look away. How are you supposed to look him in the eye and say all of this. Let alone do anything else the ceremony might want.

“Again.” Echo leans against Roan’s desk.

“I got it.” You snap.

“Again.” Echo insists with a strong glare.

“Echo, that’s enough help for one day.” Roan warns and Echo rolls her eyes and leaves but you ignore her with a silent angry exhale. “We then exchange the object which we poses that has the most meaning to us.” Your mind immediately flickered to the dog tags.

“This object it could be anything?” Roan nods, you ponder for a moment giving something else. There’s a little silence as you think deeply then look up and wonder what he’s think and what he has in mind.

“Then I will take the knife and poor my blood into the chalice.” Roan continues after a moment.

“I don’t like where this is going, sounds ill-advised.” You comment trying to sound light-hearted as you moved on from the thoughts, Roan sighs a little in frustration but amusement glimmers in his eyes.

“Then you take the knife and do the same.”

“Do they wipe it first? I mean like no offence but I don’t know what sort of grounder viruses your carrying that my space immune system can’t handle.” Roan sets you with a look and that nervous, impending-doom feelings forgotten as the nervousness turns into something entirely different.

“The same knife and then you and I share a drink.” You pull a face of course but Roan ignores you like he has been doing this whole day.

“Is there any kissing in this? If so we really might need to practice, I mean the last time I kissed you it was pretty much one sided and we need to at least convince the crowd.” Despite your joke, your cheeks burn.

Roan makes a thoughtful sound like he’s considering it, he takes a step forward like he made his decision and your smile falls as you step back bumping against the desk. Roan leans in and your thoughts scramble to decide whether you should stop him. He’s face is so close to yours now, you hold your breath. “Roan-“ you start but something twists in your gut, but it’s pleasant and keeps you from shivering at the tingle that runs up your spine, you swallow thickly. Roan hums again, this time a shorter observant sound.

“I don’t think you’re ready for that lesson yet.” He leans back, and you can breath again.

“Well I clearly didn’t mean now.” You say once you’ve recollected yourself, your whole face feeling like its on fire.

“We’ll continue later, you have an appointment with our yonhaka.” Roan was already on his way out.

“Yonhaka?” You ask confused.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“You’re late.” The Woman says the moment the guards open the door for you. “It’s hardly my fault, it took me an hour to find this place, I don’t even know what a yonhakais.” You survey the room, it is full of rolls of patched together fabric rolled onto large rollers packed against the walls, there is a big work table to your right, and large old mirrors to the left side of the room, of you study the old or nations in the room, it’s clear this was some studio of a kind, may be for dancing? Behind the woman with exotic ethnic features that you can’t quite place is two women and a man. By the way she carries herself , it's clear who in charge.

“The.” She says simply.

“What?”

“Jus Gona, you have the privilege of meeting the royal dresser, it is an honour to be adorned in the art that she makes with her own hands.” The male introduces.

“Do I bow?” You question sarcastically from the dramatic words.

“Fiery.” She notes. “I have some ideas but I will need to take your measurements first and have you try on old dresses.”

“Lady, I don’t do dresses, I need something I can move in. Shit can go south very quickly with Azgeda.”

“Authoritative, demanding.” She states.

“Annoying.” You state back at her, as you try and discourage the outright judgement.

“I am building a profile of you, I need to know what you are like so that your sofkova (dress) can represent you.” She explains patiently, “As for the other matter, there is no negotiation on the sofkova, a dress it will be even if I have to sew it to your skin, but it will be functional.”

“You just got a whole creepier.” You point out.

“My goal is to make you feel your power when you stand in your dress, and if you don’t- but you will- then I haven’t done my job correctly.” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Try me.” You challenge.

“Ban we yun bakkova (Remove your clothing).” She orders and with a wave of her hand you do.

“And one last thing, if you ruin my work, I will ruin you.” You didn’t say anything against her blatant threat instead deciding that you would be very careful.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You were retired to your own quarters for the afternoon, trying to go over the words of the ceremony. You sighed in frustration, barely being able to focus, you were tired after the early start to your long day.

“It’s fine, just relax.” You say out loud, instead deciding to lay out the clothes you were going to wear for bed. There was a knock at the door and you gave you permission for the person to enter.

“Jus Gona, the Ambassador of Skaikru has requested to see you, King Roan has granted him access.” You sigh knowing whatever you say to the guard won’t help the situation. “Ai na gocha yu op got raunkova(I’ll escort you to the throne room).” He declared. You weren’t much surprised that Roan would want the meeting to be somewhere in public, given Skaikru’s recent record. Of course, you knew you would be given some privacy at least but one or two guards might be present. It was Marcus though. Would he really do something like that to you? You decided that some people did stupid things when they were desperate, you wouldn’t be over powered again.

The moment the doors opened, you were surprised, Cedree stood against the far wall behind Marcus, arms folded as he watched carefully. You hadn’t seen him since-

“Y/n.” Marcus says when the door has closes behind you. You feel a little trapped for the moment as you look over your shoulder to indeed atest that the noise was truly the door closing and the guard leaving, no doubt right outside the door. You steel yourself and turn to him, a little funny thought crossed your mind. ‘Marcus was standing next to the guy you tried to have sex with’ It was supplied by some foolish irrational thought of you and of course you were an adult who could make her own decisions, it was not like Marcus was in anyway related to you. After this you couldn’t for a moment take your eyes off Cedree, feeling totally embarrassed by multiple things.

You needed something to focus on whatever Marcus was here to tell you. You strode towards the table.

“Do you want anything?” You toss the question over your shoulder at Marcus. There’s silence so you pour one glass.

He always knew what to do when talking to people and he was checking all the boxes when he said:

“You remember when I caught you drinking, you had met up with a boy and one of the guards reported to me that you had been out past curfew while I was working late night.” You turn around during the story, taking a sip of the wine and watching him, knowing instantly where this story was going, feeling even more embarrassed that Cedree was here, but you ignored his presence for the moment

Marcus smiles at the memory and it makes you think back about how he put the boy in detention for a week and made you assist Abby’s patients for the next month, it was how you and Clarke got close. Despite the not so uncomfortable memories you shut him down quickly.

“You told me that I will always make mistakes and that if I didn’t see it you would space me like my parents.” It’s an old scab and you know how Marcus feels about it, you’re long past it but he doesn’t need to know about it. You had to admit, Marcus was a relation, no matter how hard you tried to deny it. Your reality was that he had betrayed you even if it wasn’t him who took the initiative, you were angry because he wasn’t there to stop Clarke. You put the glass back on the table, behind you.

“Maybe I wasn’t the best... parental figure in your life at the time but you turned out well and you know how much I’ve tried to make it right.” You couldn’t deny it he had, countless times made up for it, Marcus had always been there for you, even when you fucked up he was there to correct your mistakes and he hadn’t judged you for them. And he wasn’t all bad, as much as he liked to believe, you were taught valuable things, how to survive, how to lead people and how to get them to follow, what power means to people and how they tend to use it if it falls into their lap.

“Marcus, I’ve killed people, a murderer is not exactly the picture of a good child.” Marcus reaches to steady you by the shoulders and out fo the corner of your eye, you both notice Cedree move, hand on his sword. Marcus steps back hesitantly, ever since he changed, he’s been affectionate and at first it made you uncomfortable and then you discovered it was because it was something you hated to admit you needed sometimes- in small doses.

“Me too. I’m not perfect, none of us are. I killed your parents, you know I’m still paying for it. This life does things to us, but it doesn’t mean we’re bad people, not if we make the right decisions, even when it's hard.” You shake your head pulling away from him, how hypocritical, you hated how it hurts but you sat it anyway:

“Marcus, I can’t help Skaikru, at least not in the way you want to but if you support this decision we made, then Roan might-“

“What decision, (y/n)?!” He raises his voice at that, interrupting you then pauses to collect himself but continues in the same serious tone but softer. “Don’t tell me that you made this decision because I damn well know you didn’t. And it’s not okay, you’re barely twenty two and Roan could almost be-“

“Don’t you dare say it.” You glare at him. He stops, recognising something in your expression. “You know, I can’t read you. I don’t know what to think anymore. I can’t tell if you actually care about me or if you are trying to save your people.”

“They’re your people too.” Marcus says, you simply glare at him, he knows how fondyou are of your former fellow ship mates. “Why can’t it ever be both?” He questions.

“I am not trying to force you to decide. Marcus, my happiness, my safety will never be in your hands again. There’s no decision here. Either Skaikru doesn’t support this marriage, rejects Roan as the rightful King or they survive.” You emphasise, ignoring the clear insult he gave you a moment before. For once you just wanted to feel like someone put you first but you pushed it aside.

You stepped back schooling yourself back into place. “Please go, my wedding day is tomorrow, I will need plenty of rest to prepare for the long festivities.” The doors open. You’ve said everything you possibly could, now it was up to him. “The Guards will escort you back to your rooms, and I will know your final decision. You’re fate, tomorrow.” Marcus doesn’t protest. As Cedree knocks on the door singling to the guards outside who opened the doors.

“Ced.” You say softly as Marcus is escorted out.

“Ai na goch Faya Gada gon baggeda(I’ll escort the fire girl to her bedroom).” Cedree says to the guard waiting on you, who nods and joins the guard escorting Marcus away.

“When did you arrive?” You enquire casually.

“This morning.” He explains simply, “I heard you were caught up in a little skirmish with your people.” You nod, then change the subject drastically:

“I feel terrible.”

“No need,” He says in that’s strange accent with a boyish smile, “I’m just wondering what was your intention that night.”

“I was trying to see if I could feel anything, since I might have had to spend the rest of my life with you.” You explain.

“And?” He asked.

“Ced-“ You start in a soft tone, not quite sure how to put the words.

“I know this path has long since past, And don’t get me wrong to think that anything might have developed past friendship in the time that I’ve known you, I’m sure you know these things take time, but I’m curios.” He interrupted quickly explaining, you almost sighed in relief.

“No, Ced, I’m not set up to work like that.” He nods, accepting your answer.

“Shall we?” He gestured to the open hall way.

“I need to see Roan.” You add, he nods and walks you the way.

You pause outside the room, next to the guards and smile at Cedree as he nods to you and leaves. When you hear Echo’s voice you stop the guard from opening the door for a moment as something captures your attention.

“Jus Gona?” The guard questions, you push him.

“Wait a moment.” You tell him as you listen.

“-stop being so soft with her.” You instantly knew who they were talking about.

“What I do is none of your concern.” Roan states. He doesn’t deny it and something flutters with in you and then is quickly snuffed out, the last thing you wanted was to be treated like something fragile due to a pity party. There’s silence that follow, your wonder if Roan is contemplating Echo’s word. Despite Echo being his advisor, he seems to usually shut her down when she speaks up, which is surprising that this time he doesn’t chase her out.

“Jus Gona?” The guard questions, reminding you as the silence continues inside.

“I changed my mind.” You say. “Please tell the King that I spoke to Marcus Kane and that he shouldn’t be expecting any support from Skaikru.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The sun has long since set when the doors to your rooms open once more to an unannounced visitor, your fingers are entangled in the dog tags of your brother, the old rusted chain and faded letters are so familiar but you put it aside as Roan steps further into the room, the doors close behind him.

“You allowed Marcus to speak to me.” It sounds colder when it echoes around the room.

“I knew, as Jus Gona, the future queen and leader of my people, you would be able to win us a new ally and I was expecting you to perform your duties.” Roan doesn’t answer, the King does.

“Don’t be so sure, I have achieved nothing but to cut the only person that ever believed in me out of my life.”

“It’s him who made that decision not you.” Roan adds, it hurst worse.

“Can you please take that stupid thing of your head?!” You cry out frustrated. When the moment fades and Roan keeps quiet, idle by the desk where rests hand on the backrest of the chair, you feel ashamed at your childish outburst. You clench and unclench your jaw, thinking of the apology almost stings.

You hear the soft thump of the crown on the table and you look up, watching Roan peel back his regal outer layers until he can more comfortable move in his untucked shirt and simple pants. He lays them out over the chair, taking his time and then he strides to your side of the bed.

“Roan I am really-“ He sits down on the bed by your legs.

“How did it go when you spoke to Marcus?” He asks, it's so genuine, his words soft.

“Awful.” You say simply.

“I’m sorry.” Roan says, holding your gaze with a sincere look. “If you want to talk about it..?” Roan trails off but you look away, you weren’t in the mood to open old wounds, if you could just keep it together for one more day.

“Wasn’t this what Echo said you shouldn’t do.” You mumble almost under your breath, keeping your gaze trained on the dog tags at the side of your table. There’s enough silence that you think, he’s confused.

“That’s when you asked the guard to inform me. Is that why you didn’t come inside?” He questions.

“I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t hear it.” You say simply. “I don’t want you to go easy on me because of what happened.”

“Is that what you think my reasoning is?” He questions, when you don’t answer Roan tries with another question: “If you don’t want me to go easy on you and you don’t want me to treat you like one of your subjects, what do you want?” He asks, when you glance at him he’s genuinely curios, he has a patient expression on his face as he waits.

“I don’t know, definitely not like one of your subjects.” You say, that tells him everything he needs to know as he hums thoughtfully

“You should be asleep, tomorrow is a long day.” Roan says when he realised you weren’t ready.

“I doubt I’ll be getting any sleep.” You retort.

“Try?”

“Only if you stay to toss and turn with me the whole night.” You say before you could want to begin to stop yourself. Roan nods, and you’re a little surprised by it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The next morning you wake up as Roan gets ready to leave, he greets you and tells you he had some business to attend to. You are ordered to stay confined in your room until someone comes to get you, Echo is with you from after breakfast which at least provides some entertainment for the day ahead and almost anything you require is at your fingers tips. There’s not much to do than to sit and overthink the day away which only seems to fuel the nervous nightmare ahead. The guards have been increased tenfold for the day, to ward off any potential threats and provide at least some form of protection in the event of some brave soul favouring a very a bad idea. The wedding was announced early morning by the King himself to the people of Polis, his people and other clans and currently he was negotiating with other leaders for the support in your union.

“Don’t they have professionals for this type of stuff? Ow!” You exclaim as Echo pulls the braid tightly. “Could you please leave some hair in my scalp after you're finished!” You snap, glaring at Echo in the mirror.

“Stop your whining, fyucha (infant).” Echo snaps right back, pausing as she glares back in the mirror. “I could leave it for you to do yourself, you ungrateful little-“

“Fine! Sorry!” You snap. Echo continues after a small pause, she continues to tug at your hair but you ignore it as much as possible, gritting your teeth.

“There.” You sight in relief as she gives confirmation that she is finished, you stand. You looked fine, the intricate braids might have been too much for your taste but it was the last thing on your mind. Your makeup consisted of key pieces that highlighted your features. A strange sight compared to the only other make up you ever wore- war paint.

There’s a loud bang as the doors hit the wall, you jump, your body tense as you reach for a dagger at your hip that is not there. Roan stands in your doorway, covered in blood. The fact that it was him, should have put you at ease but the site of the deep red doesn’t. “You’re okay.” Roan says as if it's a revelation to himself.

“Echo, guard the door.” Roan orders, she immediately steps outside.

“Yeah I’m okay, why am I would I not be okay? Are you even supposed to be here? Why is there blood all over you?” You question, your hair is braided and you are only standing in your underwear and despite the countless times you have seen blood, despite the countless times you have faced death, it horrifies you. You cross your arms, feeling a little uncomfortable as Roan tries real hard not to look down.

“No, I’m not supposed to be here but we need to do this now, some Natrona (traitors) have infiltrated the Polis. If we can finish the ceremony, I believe they will stand down, if I have the power of Jus Gona.” The door closes behind him hiding the hoard of guards.

You're stunned, you swallow not sure what exactly to think.

“What?” Is all you can manage.

“Wait before you-“ Roan starts but you cut him off.

“You’re going to kill me.” You throat burns, your first thought was ‘what were you expecting’ and then you rationality suddenly steps in, why would he tell you this if it was his plan? It makes you pause for a moment and listen to what Roan is trying to say.

“I mean,” he suddenly decides to step closer. “I’m not sure it's better.” He almost laughs but he’s expression is humourless. “Have you ever done itbefore?” Out of all the things you thought he would say, that question was not on your list.

First of all King Roan of Azgeda, one of the most accomplished warriors you know can’t say the word ‘sex’.

“Of course I’ve slept with people, are you sure you have?” You question almost accusingly.

“Yes, yes-“ he defends almost immediately, you swear he’s a deeper colour as he pauses, “that’s not the point. I’m talking about consummating the marriage tonight.” Roan is serious, you’re a little dizzy but you keep standing anyway, taking a deep breath to think.

“So we say we did the do, no one will be the wiser.” You suggest.

“It has to be witnessed.” You swallow, feeling like you needed a breath of fresh air.

“I was afraid you would say that. This fucked up shit is getting really predictable, first I have to drink your blood and now? Now this.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I keep asking-“

“I’ll do it,” your throat burns, “but I swear to God Roan, I don’t know if I can but I can try.” You hate that your eyes flood with tears but you can’t stop it as the trickle down your cheeks. Roan steps up again and simply pull you into his chest despite his bloody clothes. He smells like Iron and salt and you try to block out your own sobs. “You’re not supposed to make the bride cry on her wedding day you know.” Roan can’t help but chuckle. You half heartedly attempt a laugh but you don’t feel like it.

Next Chapter

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