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skayafair · 5 months

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Scared Vi

The thing I was finally able to put into a thought and into words after staring at gifs for 2 hours straight: throughout all the post-timeskip Arcane Vi is fucking scared of everything that's going on around her. AND she's on the brink of losing it pretty often. I need to rewatch (no idea when I'll be brave enough to ride this rollercoaster again) but I didn't notice it while watching, because, WELL, there was already TOO MUCH to take in, so some more subtle details escaped me. I've caught that Vi is very vulnerable in her honesty, openness and straightforwardness, but that wasn't all to it, and it bothered me! Because all three don't ooze the vulnerability 24/7 and that's what Vi looks like to me nearly all the time!

So I was wondering.

And here's the answer. She's been suddenly released out of her cell into the world that is now completely unknown to her. Yes the air of freedom is great, and she enjoys it, but at the same time there's always this frightened undertone.

She's constantly on the edge.

Not in the least because when things that used to be familiar, like your home, ones you used to know like the back of your hand, change but not completely, it's the worst trap of all, the most confusing and anxiety inducing. How much of what you remember is still the same? How much changed? Can you trust its exterior even if it looks the same? Or would it betray you in the worst possible moment? How do new things work? How do they work WITH the old things? I've experienced it once coming back to my former workplace that changed quite a lot but no one bothered to fill me in so I was piecing together the information for a YEAR. And I might not be the brightest but I'm not dumb either. I'm pretty good with systems. It was BAD.

So I can't imagine how much worse and disoriented Vi must have felt. And Caitlyn took her out of jail to SHOW HER AROUND. Having no idea how the world Vi used to know so well changed just in several years. So she's on a look out all the time. And her eyes, her expression betrays her put up exterior of confidence and maybe even arrogance, leaking this anxiety and straight up fear almost all the time.

She looks like a frightened, lost little girl. And when she doesn't, she looks like a desperate teenage girl who tries to punch her way out of every problem because she's backed into a corner and that's the only way she knows, even if it never helps. (No seriously, the only time it helped was against Silco's thugs and EVEN THEN they weren't completely dealt with and kept causing problems straight up to the bridge fighting scene. Vi's fists kept her alive and safer but they never SOLVED anything.)

I think the way she looks just SCREAMS fear and anxiety when she and Powder/Jinx fight back to back after the torch scene. Jinx looks like she's completely in her element, she knows these guys, she's been in situations like this time after time. It's habitual. She's very confident and almost careless there, moves freely, she knows what she's doing. She might even enjoy it. Vi, on the opposite... Vi, who's all about loose body language, free movement and such - nearly curls up into a ball against Jinx's back, keeping her fists and elbows close to herself. Vi NEVER looked like this again, I think. I... believe she was the most thrown off kilter back then. She finally found her most treasured and the only remaining piece of her past - her sister, and sure, lil Powpow changed, she had to survive, but she's still Vi's little sister!

Right?..

Wrong. Powder-Jinx back then is the quintessence of the trap Zaun is to Vi now: familiar pieces are all there, they're recognizable even if a bit changed, but you never know what lurks under the surface.

And gods does Jinx just demolish every last bit of the ground Vi was standing on. It's not even when Jinx goes full on unhinged, it's when she simply starts blasting bullets all around. When she fights and she's confident in what she does. Vi doesn't know this girl. Vi doesn't know this gang flying around. I bet she doesn't even know this TECHNOLOGY because the world made a whole leap technologically while she was stuck in her cell isolated from pretty much everything. It's like a literal time skip for her. And she doesn't know what to trust, so she can't trust anything no matter how much she wants to. And she HAS to want it, because she looked genuinely hopeful fresh out of Stillwater. Before she saw what her home turned into. Silco really did bring the monster out of it, not just himself or Jinx or shimmer junkies. The whole city. So Vi looks small, and frightened, and I think she's even panicking back in that scene.

She's ready to snap at any moment.

It's very interesting to me, because she looks tough and very mentally healthy on the surface but boooy are there mountains hidden underneath.

Vi does snap, actually. Several times. Her voice cracks as she's trying to convince Ekko she's THE Vi, same she used to be. She charges at Sevika TWICE. I think second time was much worse btw. She literally downs a drink IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT - I don't think it was out of mental stability. And, well, the cry in the end. She won, and it helped nothing again. Even her mental state. Another fragile moment with Vi is the way she looks around her sister. Vi is confident and action-charged by nature, she's energetic and isn't shy to take up space. So she never looks small... except when she's around Jinx. She's drowning in guilt, and this guilt is spilling out.

Interestingly enough, scenes when Vi DOESN'T have this scared/guilty/anxious/desperate look is around Cait. She's either playful, or actually confident, or even RELAXED. Which is... wow, all things considered. Part of it is a put up facade, of course, but only in the beginning. The ship sails itself huh...

A lot of people pointed out Caitlyn is about future in Vi's life centered around the past, but I think what's more important is that Cait is about the present. Plus, she's a familiar - an enforcer, a topside - turned unfamiliar in a GOOD way.

Gods once again I'm baffled at the level Arcane is thought through. These are subtle, small details, expressions that aren't exposed or accentuated like many other ones. They are underlying, but once you notice them it's a whole new tapestry unfolding right before your eyes.

As you can see, I'm very normal about Arcane and Vi in particular, yup, totally cool 😌👌✨

#yes I've watched Arcane just like a week ago what of it #sorry if it's been mentioned multiple times by now #I only watched several essays on YT and none talked about this #so #I'm kinda hyperfixated on Vi as you can probably see #this insane amount of work the creative team put into the characters #gods I'm so glad I can witness this masterpiece #arcane #vi arcane #jinx arcane #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane

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all-seeing-ifer · 9 months

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Hey what's the silt verses? Should I watch/read it? It looks really cool and I could ask Google but you seem very excited about it and I wanted to give you an opportunity to talk about it if you wanna!

aaaaa ok ok ok!!!! i am SO glad you decided to come ask me about it - the silt verses is like. probably one of my favourite pieces of media ever and I am always excited to have a chance to just Scream about it! and since I'm currently on 48 hour tsv lockdown with the first episode of season 3 dropping it's the perfect time for me to get this ask.

so the silt verses is a horror audio drama podcast set in a fantasy world where everything is controlled by different gods. so there's gods of industry, gods of agriculture, gods of natural phenomena, even down to incredibly specific gods like the call centre god we meet in one episode. some are seemingly harmless or benign, some are seemingly malicious, but all of them are capable of acting in the world through miracles or the creation of saints (ordinary people who are transformed into.... something else by the gods' power) and most of them have their own religions following them and offering sacrifices to feed their power.

the twist in all of this is that in the world of the silt verses the gods have become completely controlled by the government and corporations, who decide which religions and gods are legitimate and should be condoned and which should be banned. the two main characters (at least in the first season, the main cast expands a fair bit in season two) are sister carpenter and brother faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed river god on a sacred pilgrimage searching for revelations from their deity. along the way they encounter other religions and gods of the region, witness miracles that test their faith, and try to stay on the run from law enforcement.

tsv has SO much going for it and i do think anyone with even a passing interest in horror as a genre should check it out! fair warning it can get really disturbing (seriously season 1 episode 4 has some of the freakiest body horror i've ever heard in an audio drama, and that's just the tip of the iceberg) but if you check out the content warnings and think you can handle it, then please PLEASE do!!! the characters are so complex and rich and compelling, the relationships between them are also really compelling and evolve in unexpected ways, the voice cast are all incredible, the worldbuilding is super interesting and well thought out, it has that amazing balance of both serialised narrative and some really amazing out there "monster of the week" style episodes that i think a lot of people miss from modern tv, the soundscaping.... well, it does start off a bit wonky, but by the time you get up to the most recent episode it sounds honestly gorgeous, it has this really wonderful poetic-at-times writing style that feels both fitting with its eerie surreal tone and will also just hit you with some of the most incredible lines ever written that will get stuck in your brain and not leave for months!! it's about religious trauma and capitalism and living and dying in a broken system and burning that system to the ground and devotion and sacrifice and monstrousness and getting to choose the thing that eats you. with one season left to go it's perhaps slightly too early to call it a masterpiece, but.... yeah TO ME it's a masterpiece <3

so yeah this got a lot longer than i meant it to but tl;dr if you're into horror or even if you just don't mind horror please please listen to the silt verses. it's weird and gross and freaky and funny and rough around the edges at first and it's worth every second of your time

#the silt verses #ifer rambles #asks and stuff #thank you so much for giving me an excuse to sing this show's praises fkljdsjfsdljk

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moonjxsung · 16 days

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sTAR PLS 🤭🤭🤭 your little 👀 had my jaw dropping cos i'm so excited for it, im literally gonna block off time in my day to just sit down and read whatever you publish. when you posted the hanji fic i was like omg i need to finish my homework NOW, so i can read stars masterpiece when im done–uninterrupted.

i can't imagine how tiring it must be to chase down the people that steal your work to post them on other sites, trying to get the stolen work taken down or at least the credit that you rightfully deserve. i'll miss the drabbles of course, but i'd much rather have a star who isn't drained and tired chasing after these thieves <3 the stuff i write are drabble length i think? 1k-3k words, and even though i'm a smaller writer on this app, the possibility that my work could be stolen is always in the back of my mind.

right now its exam season. i had a midterm earlier (saturday at 9am 🤢 a crime) and then i have 3 more coming up in the next couple of weeks. at this point i just want to pass and get the credit so 🤞🤞 im coming off anon just to show you some pics i took while waiting for the eclipse and then when it happened

i'm not very knowledgeable about astronomy but god, i love it so much. the stars, the moon, space and everything, it's so breathtakingly beautiful it relaxes me.

i'm happy to hear you're going out and eating some good food, ugh i love some good food. stay safe always 🫶 ilysm pookie 🌸

I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHWJWKKALKSDJ I blocked off the entire day today to just stay in and WRITE I’m trying to get it finished before April’s over but we shall see 👀 IM SO EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED THOUGH SJSKXLXLSKSLSKDK

God the wattpad thieves are just rampant on here. I never thought it would be this bad considering I feel like tumblr isn’t as popular as it used to be? But boyyyyy was I wrong 😀 I’m doing the best I can coping and I have no intention of scrapping my longer stuff so it’s all good 🫶

GOOOOD LUCK WITH EXAMS MY LOOOOVE AHHHH you got this my love!!!!!! I believe in you!!!!!!! 🫶 this is the final stretch and then you’ll have some time to breathe and relax RAHHH manifesting good grades all around and some fun plans to celebrate when it’s over 🫶

ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ECLIPSE PICS OH MY GODDDDDD I missed it because I had a 3 hour conference with a client I couldn’t miss and I’m still so sad about it but I love seeing it through your eyes and I’m so glad you got to witness it !! I love the moon she’s so beautiful I hope you always get to see the moon look so pretty and I hope you never miss astronomical phenomena when they occur 🌙⭐️✨💫 I do have some cutie pics of the moon from the past month I’ll add even though I didn’t catch the eclipse she’s SOOOO cutie 👼

I love you sweet angel I’m glad you’re doing well!!!! Go crush your exams and tell me all about it, I’ll be rooting for you from over here 👼💫⭐️🌙✨🫶💞💖💝💕

#🌸 anon #ask

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saintobio · 2 years

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Saint.

Yn's death scene broke my heart. I'm ngl, I didn't cry bc I'm already used to saint level angst but the fact that she just wanted rin to believe her and the way rin was screaming ugh, it's just so tragic that he finally had a wife who he truly loves and it ends this way 💔 for my peace of mind, I'm imagining them living their best life in heaven and having the happy family that they weren't able to start 😭

And rin was so smart for choosing to torture hera and c'ian instead of killing them, he definitely knew how much it would affect them to witness his death. Also, on that note of c'ian and hera being kept in the dungeon, what has happened to demie? Is she staying with the empress or being looked after by someone else?

Also, when 'samu and the knights kneeled in respect for rin and yn, it's kinda sad that she was finally shown some sort of respect by the people of Faren and she wasn't even alive to witness it. I feel like if she didn't eat the berries and rin saved her, everyone would've been able to see that she's not who they thought she was and would definitely have some respect/love for her 😭

This play was so beautifully written Saint. I really do appreciate you taking the time to write this masterpiece bc I can imagine that writing in that language and in a format that doesn't allow for a lot of description, is difficult. Thank you saint, you broke my heart once again and I love you for it. 😂💘

this is just a 6 on saint level angst sdjsjs and yeah there’s no other way to put it — suna knows that his death would be traumatizing to hera and ci’an. the answer to demie is on a previous ask :)

thank u for reading tho 🥺 it was definitely hard since i’m so used to descriptive writing but i’m happy to know that you liked it <3

Anonymous said

what’s totally crazy about the ending is that if the MC had only held out for like 5 minutes, she and rin could’ve been alive together ☹️. i am happy that they get to be together in the afterlife tho. i think it’s kind of a morbidly funny trend in tragedies that if they had just a tiny bit more streets smarts, most of their problems could’ve been solved in like a week. anywho this was a great story, and i think you deserve all the flowers for writing in such a difficult style, and still being able to convey such intense emotions. you truly are amazing at what you do, and i’m very grateful to be a reader!

omg yea ik what u mean !! HAHA when i read r+j for the first time, i got sooo upset like why can’t they wait just a few more mins dammit 😭 and thank u very much for ur sweet words anon <33 i appreciate it sm :’)

Anonymous said

SAINT R U SECRETLY SHAKESPEARE 😭😭 THIS IS PAINFUL I CANNOT. IM VV EXTRA EMOTIONAL BC OF CYCLE SO THIS IS 10X HURTFUL.

It’s so sad it had to end that way but i can’t say that i did not like it bc it’s so amazing yet tragic 😭

Anonymous said

oh my god saint that was so good?? it would be wonderful if it was an actual play! you should really make some of your stories actual books people would love them

WAAAAH thank u!! that makes me happy :’) i’m actually glad i turned this old play of mine into a fanfic. i didn’t think anyone would appreciate but yay <33 when i submitted this for my class before, my professor said we can’t have it on stage bc it was too dark gahahaj

Anonymous said

“Keep this image with you forever as I reunite with my true love, far away from the spiteful ladies of this household.”

i read the tags for olal but i thought it was just gonna be yn unaliving herself, but when i came to that line i was shook

was rin able to reunite with yn in the afterlife at least where they’re both finally at peace together

Anonymous said

I was hoping for Hera and c'ian to die but I guess it was too good to be true 😭 but at least now rin and mc can be happy and free in the afterlife

@andreavasquezz said

Romeo and Juliet moment😝😭😰😭😭😭 that was so sad but I know that they will be reincarnated and reunite and live happily ever after.

@evcrgardn said

i hope rin, yn, and their baby are happily together in the afterlife :((

Anonymous said

Me hoping for Suna and yn getting reincarnated in modern world and finally getting the happy ending they deserve😭

AFTERLIFE IT IS :P but u guys,,,, doesnt this remind u of a certain someone from a zombie apocalyptic world *coughs* maybe they’ll reincarnate again since it’s a common manhwa trope 😹

@sunareign said

… why you gotta do that to me ? i thought zunarin was enough? WHY YOU GOTTA BREAK MY HEART A SECOND TIME?

shut up u love angst u know that :p and i never said ur mans won’t die the second time bsjsjds he never gets a happy ending from me 😹

#🖤: letters to saint #play: of lovers and liars

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kfawkes · 6 years

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alright get up here with Taron (I'm not sure if you do actors but it would be lovely if you did :) x

[Hi! I’ve been sitting on this for awhile… and I apologize for that!!! I know I’ve made posts/comments on how I don’t really write for celebrities… and I really don’t lol, but I have said that I would be open to making exceptions… so here I am lol, making an exception XD

It’s pretty short and quick though, and I really don’t know Taron as a person so it’s a little harder/awkward for me to write for/as him… where as Eggsy I super connect with and feel like I know him so well SO ITS SO EASY TO BE EGGSY!!!! But… anyway off topic lol. This is pretty fluffy and Colin makes an appearance hahah. Hope you like it my kind sweet and patient anon!

Pairing: Taron Egerton x Reader

Warnings: mild cursing.

About: You’re a makeup artist on the set of Kingsman 2!!! Why? Because idk. I can :P ]

It didn’t take long for you to realize just how amazing Taron was. It was one thing to see him on the big screen acting cheeky as fuck as Eggsy, but another to witness it first hand. Not only was he charming as all hell, but had a smile that lit up the room, with eyes even brighter than that… and to top it off he had a killer personally, and his terrible jokes never failed to make you laugh.

Which to be clear only made your crush worse. A whole lot worse…

It was normal to have a tiny crush on some random celebrity you’d never meet– it was even to be expected, and had you known a few months ago that you’d be working alongside yours, you may have tried to mentally prepare yourself… But could you really prepare yourself for something like this?

The answer was no, you really couldn’t.

When you got the call that you’d be doing lead makeup on Kingsman: The Golden Circle you just about pissed your pants while simultaneously crying and mumbling in attempts to form any sentences other than ‘ohmygod’ or ‘is this real life???’ and even now over 4 months into filming you could still hardly believe it.

You were a nobody in the industry. A nothing, fresh out of school with only indies under your belt, yet here you were–

“Mornin, Y/n,” a familiar voice purred softly behind you, and in that moment like every moment before you felt a warm wave wash over you as you jumped in surprise.

“How are you?” he voice continued stepping forward.

“Sneaking up on people is super creepy, Taron…” You spun around with a smile when he laughed; pulling your hand to your hip as you tilted your head slightly eyeing him as secretively as you could, and god damn if he didn’t look just like a dream.

“Right. Think Colin mighta mentioned that actually…”

You smiled to your feet then tried to look busy– moving stuff around, organizing things you’d already well… organized. “To answer your question, I’m good. Veeeery tired, but good… what about you? Busy night?”

“Nah, just stayed in and watched something… was quite lovely actually.” he answered dropping his bags to the side not breaking your gaze once. He watched closely as you fidgeted with your makeup brushes; enjoying the cute nervous mannerisms you displayed.

“Good… I’m glad. You deserve a break.” You paused nodding as you placed your makeup kit to your waist. “Alright then get up here, and let’s see what I can do with this mess…” you offered a wink– which was ballsy you had to admit, but you were just so comfortable with him, maybe too comfortable now that you thought about it… then signaled to the chair for him to sit.

He nodded lightly then complied not saying a word.

Today seemed different some how. Like Taron was different… and now you could swear he was staring at you in the mirrors reflection as you styled his hair.

You tried not to smile… to hold it back, but you felt it slipping just like the pink now decorating your cheeks. This of course he noticed as well, and in that moment he looked to his hands and pursed his lips as if in thought.

You bit your lip lightly trying to push away that feeling; knowing there’d be no chance in hell his thoughts would be about you… In that moment you reminded yourself he was miles out of your league… that he was just nice– friendly. Charming, kind and considerate, but not into you.

“Turn around then.” You set your hand lightly to his shoulder after a brief pat, but he didn’t move. A moment later you narrowed your eyes, trying to figure out what that look could possibly mean– Had he not heard you? “We don’t have all day do we? Pretty sure Matthew wanted you ready, oh…” you paused looking at an imaginary watch at your wrist. “15 minutes ago?”

Taron smiled this time, softer than the one he usually gave you but it was just as pure and sweet. He didn’t say anything yet, his face still lined as if he were debating something or having an argument quietly with himself. He did however turn in place finally, and when he ended his eyes looked up at you almost affectionately.

That look was jarring… intoxicating even, and in that moment you almost forgot why you were there at all. You just looked at him, and he just looked at you.

He smiled again, but this time he held admiration behind those azure eyes and maybe even something else… but you couldn’t think about that right now, because you had work to do and how does one even figure out what a look like that meant? Not like you could just ask him…

You finished the little that needed doing, then instructed him to turn around to bask in your masterpiece. Which… honestly wasn’t much aside from a few cuts and bruises but he acted woefully impressed as he eyed your handiwork with a wide smile.

That smile distracted you so much you hadn’t even realized you’d set your hands on both of his shoulders. That you’d been holding them there lightly while you laughed together… but a few seconds later he raised his brows, locking eyes with yours in the reflection once more.

It only took a split second for you to realize you were STILL touching him, and your face turned about awkwardly as you began lifting them, turning a darker shade of rose; mind rushing with anxiety as you realized the inappropriateness of it all… But before you could remove one of your hands, he slid his up and across his chest; resting it on yours, and locking your hand to his shoulder.

You stopped suddenly with jaw laid open lightly; eyes still transfixed on his, and saying you had no idea what to do or say didn’t really cover it… so you didn’t do or say anything at all. You just stood there as he ran his thumb lightly over the back of your hand with the softest smile you’d ever seen slipping the corners of his mouth.

“Ahhh, good morning Taron… Y/n.” Colin said as he stepped into the trailer with a wide smile. If he noticed what was happening between you two, he hadn’t yet let on– He just held his jacket in one hand and a large cup of coffee in the other looking oblivious and chipper as ever.

The second he spoke you pulled back from Taron as he turned in his chair to face his old friend with a welcoming smile. You hadn’t done so smoothly of course, but Colin was polite enough not to acknowledge your falter and went on as if nothing happened at all.

“Hello to you too… we just finished up. I’ll see you both in a bit.” Taron stood then, and as he passed Colin he gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze and made his way towards the door.

Colin walked towards you after a moment, ready to offer other pleasantries on your past weekend, but you were still focused on Taron and whatever the hell that was…

You shot your eyes to the door just before he exited the trailer. He was already looking at you, and tossed you that smile… that perfect smile as he stepped down and out leaving you with a warm feeling you would never forget and a fistful of questions.

#taron egerton x reader #taron imagine #Kingsman #Taron Egerton #imagines #prompt #ask #answered #fawkes talks #Eggsystential crisis #Idk what I'm doing with this one guys #lol #hope its good???????#idk bruv ;.; <3 enjoy anyway??!??!?!#i need help #send coffee

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beowulfs-booty-call · 7 years

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I like to share love, so I'm glad it helps. I believe everyone can find love, and generally what you're describing sounds like my beliefs, though I'm much more a hard polytheist than a soft one. As far as Freya? Lots of potential things, but that's most of the basics. I'm glad that you found confidence though. Self-confidence is one of those things I struggle with, but if it helps I also think you look good too. Was more the emotional/mental side I was complimenting earlier though. :)

Ah! Now I understand, I want to apologize then, on my behalf for not fully understanding what you’d meant at the time! (Unfortunately, I answered your ask at around... 2 AM or so in NY time, so, I really am sorry if you got a whole long answer on something completely else!)

That aside, I really agree with your ideas on that. Everyone can find love, and, they deserve it to, as well in the sense of both the word, and well, love.

The reason I steered more towards... Physical love, I’d say, was mainly because I’m still... opening up in the side of emotional / mental side (in terms of Incubus-focuses and their emphasis of course!). On one end of the spectrum, Incubi / Succubi can have emotional sides rather than an erotic focus, but that’s just their actual representation. They’re amalgamation of human desires put into form, one can say, so to speak. The other, is the more commonly known eroticism as to, in some cultures, “mate with a human and create a foul half breed” (which, if I’m correct was more of the older archetypes. Considering Merlin was prophesied as one of their half children, I think it’s supposed to mean that side of the coin, though... I could be wrong in the context of time here..!)

The emotional / mental side of them aren’t really... always seen to people. In some ways, it’s almost nonexistent, but you’re like... What’s the saying?

“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride?”

That’s the sort of life motto you’re “branded” with, to acknowledge, and to understand. It’s definitely something that is sort of a burden to carry, because there’s times I’d fantasize about just a random person I met in a cafe and think, “Boy... What’d I’d do to wake up to someone like them tomorrow morning...” And then... there’d be more perverse thoughts of course and such, but the emotional side, of commitment, of just hand holding, or cuddling on the couch while reading 3 AM fanfics of your favorite characters... It leads you to believe all you’re really good for, is the eroticism, you know?

Of course, that’s only just what most incubi / succubi struggle with for the time being, and, after a while, I shook it off once I got back into stuff like Sailor Moon and of course Amy Rose from Sonic the hedgehog, and really sort of got the understanding of what love really means. I could harp on, on what you already know, but, it was amazing, to say the least. Not just, saying it in a card, or, valentines chocolates (I will, of course, eat them, if offered) but just... Saying it. With meaning.

Supporting the people you care about, and showing it in your daily life for them. Always being there to understand and help carry them to their potential. It’s magnificent, to say the least.

And, I’d like to apologize again, if I misunderstood anything as well, but that’s just my opinion on the emotions of the night folk, besides myself. It’s liberating, yet... Chained. You’re led to believe it’s only the physical side of you that’s meant to be charming, that it must be an aesthetic, a pleasure, a masterpiece if you will, but you’re not happy with it. A lot of the sex demons struggle with that. They’ve gotten lust down, charm, wit, tenacity... But they don't have love. At least, they don’t really understand it.

I want to really thank you for the kind words, honestly. While I’m still working up the courage to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say, “Hey, rise and shine, today’s going to be wonderful. Can you see it written on your face?” I’ve definitely gotten far enough to not look at things as black and white as before. Before... It was like, all eyes are on you, keep appearances sharp, sensual, and walk with a gait that saunters over with power and grace.

...Now, I’m just... Me! To say the least. I wear my favorite outfits here and there, I splurge on myself to treat myself better, and really, just take care of myself. Of course, the reason I work with Venus / love magic best, is because I’ve well, unrequited love in the sense. There’s someone out there I’m living for, and, while I know it’s not meant to be, they’ve taught me a lot about myself, and about the world. Of course, it doesn’t hinder me or anything, but since I met that person, I think I finally understood what I know now about love, not just in the familial sense Parvati taught me, or the Eroticism Lilith exudes. I’m still learning though, like everyone else.

Still, your beliefs sound so... Unique and inspiring! In all honesty? It’s like a breath of fresh air, hearing about that, especially your bond with Freyja! I’d love to hear about the potential things you have there, someday, if it’s alright, since it seems I got the basics down! But, in all seriousness, I suppose looking back on my own, I don’t really “know” what my beliefs could be classified as. I would definitely say a form of soft polytheism, since Hinduism is a huge on the topic, as well as Paganism (at times). But at best? I’ve dealt with many deities and demons, and while I know they’re different in both persona, and context, I’ve always felt, maybe, they’re who we believe to be, whether it is being comfortable seeing the god of the afterlife as the goddess Izanami in Yomi, or Hades in the Underworld, you know? But, at the same time, there’s also lots of questions I find myself asking, to my own beliefs too. For example,

- Most Ars Goetian demons were at once, angels, the same for the fallen. Beelzebub was considered at one point, the god Baal, and the other, Bael. If that was the case... Does that mean, one can conjure either form and it would in fact, be Beelzebub / Baal / Bael in the context of nature? Would the separate entities acknowledge their other forms? In a sense, yes, when I summoned Baal for questions on politics and power, (What are the two, how can I use them effectively?) he spoke about his “other” form as being the king of flies and filth and that laying others down to build one’s self up is the nature of man. Things like that, besides his er... “advice”, tends to make me reevaluate what I already “understand”.

- Are the cultures we already know, not anglicized, but perhaps, evaluated in different ways for us to comprehend? It’s a more philosophical question, I admit, but it’s definitely one on my mind for some time. One could argue about the Roman and Greek mythos being near one and the same, but it’s not my place to do so (Considering it’s not my culture, nor... Well, my main interest. I’ve been more so pondering the question to some of my friends who do take up the mythos as their life and such, and we like to ask each other these sort of questions to ourselves. Not just to make fun or poke at each others beliefs, but more so to maybe grip some form of understanding of the things we have faith in.

- Who are we, as humans, and to what are the Gods and Goddesses? It sounds rather... rebellious in a sense, but there are times I question things and wonder, if Parvati is primordial and always in the background of things, yet, we can see her work or Vesta, or even Hera in the world, what are we really? Do we have a purpose that exists beyond their scope of things? And, what are they, in terms of our human understanding? Mothers? Fearsome entities? Intangible concepts for us to acknowledge, respect, and see to answer that through our work as witches and devotees?

There’s so many questions I have for myself, that, while I don’t lay down myself as really anything but Hindu and Pagan, makes me so excited to see others who think differently. There's a lot to wonder and think about, not just about yourself and the subject matter of what your offerings do to please the deities or the demons we bond with in our every day lives.

So, really, thank you so much for taking the time out and having such a wonderful discussion with me here, like I always say, I’m always open to asks and anything you ever need! But also, thank you for letting me think about myself more, not just in how far I came along, but also how far I know I’m going to go, I can only say the same for you, for really getting your thoughts out to people! As silly as it may sound over .txt, but I offer my deepest gratitude and blessings for you to be as content as can be in your life, no matter where you go, anon.

Go in peace, and may the (I would say Æsir or the Vanir, however, I’m not sure which pantheon Freyja and Freyr would fall under considering the Æsir had Odin’s side, and the Vanir had the twins born under them, until taken under the Æsir as either hostages or honorary members?) deities make life nothing but grand to you, your problems lifting into the air like feathers in the wind, your freedom bound to no one, and your future enshrined with wonder and joy.

#Anon #Wulf Answers #Looooong post #anonymous #Anonymous

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