Kai: "I learned some very valuable life lessons from this."
Oogway: "I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away."
Kai: "Death isn't real, and I'm basically god."
Oogway: "Nnnnnnng-please Kai, I'm a cold little turtle, and will die unless you let me bury my face in your voluptuous tits! Please you have to cuddle me!"
Soldier: "You know, General, you don't have to do that. Just starting a fire and setting him by it will-"
Kai, already holding Oogway close, wrapping him up in his cloak: "AND JUST LET HIM FUCKING DIE?!"
Okay, can we talk more about how Oogway and Kai were probably something between high school bullies and mean girls
Kai was an 'idgaf' bully but he actually does and will try to kill you at the slightest provocation
Oogway was more a 'tsk, who cares fuck you' bully, then he would just be a bitch
I'M A BELIEVER AND DEFENDER THAT KAI CALLED OOGWAY AS
"Master Oogway"
IN REFERENCE TO THIS!11!! (Like 'you were a bitch back then what happened?') /hj
Idk about the actual canon (series aren't) but young! Oogway was going to be rebellious and stubborn. You know, someone Kai would be totally friends with back then.
Kai is just salty about his friend being 'reformed' he only wants to be a jerk with Oogway and now he is a jerk AT Oogway
This is probably a controversial raw opinion but...
I honestly disagree that Shen is worse than Kai.
From my understanding, Shen only attempted genocide on one village, take control a city by killing one guy while letting the other two masters live, killed his own men at the very end, most of this (with exception of attacking one village) was an attempt to conquer China. He was basically baby's first warlord.
Kai is a seasoned warlord, and has history. So much so he had many names. I highly doubt that he was a good intentioned warlord as well. Considering there have been no mentioned of Oogway's past beyond him being a master of kung fu and Kai betraying the same people who saved his friend. This can give an implication that Kai was not a good person.
I feel as though the reason why people don't talk about how bad Kai actually could be is because the tone surrounding him is comedic and the writers not wanting to delve deep about both Oogway's and Kai's past.
Maybe this is such me, but I feel as though if we knew more about Kai's backstory, we would have a different viewing of Oogway.
Everyone was asking that question in Kung Fu Panda 4. It felt forced, right? Well, what do you think of this little tweak:
After the third movie, Shifu notices that Tigress isn't herself. She barely spends time with others. She trains too hard, even for her. She strikes with no mercy.
She is angry at herself.
Shifu thinks it's because she never got to be dragon warrior (really she's angry because she couldn't protect Shifu from Tai Lung or Kai and had to run away both times)
That brings back old demons for Shifu because he fears repeating the same mistake with Tai Lung.
He sees how much Po has matured and he feels a duty towards Oogway to continue his legacy and towards Tigress to be better to her.
So he convinces Po that he has to choose a dragon warrior. So Tigress could have another chance and Oogway's legacy continues.
Feeling a bit under the weather so Sick (Mortal) Kai Headcanons!
When Kai got sick, he was always quick to deny it. Sort of had a whole "if I ignore it it can't get to me" philosophy towards illness.
Serious denial about how ill he was. "I don't get sick." There was always so much back and forth between him and Oogway over it.
"Kai, you're sick."
*congested bull noises* "...No I'm not."
"Why are you breathing like that, then?"
"Mind your own business."
*coughing*
"Oh, so if I feel your forehead right now, you won't have a fever?"
"...No."
"Come here, then."
"Take my word for it."
"No."
Kai is glad to be taller than Oogway at that moment, because then this conversation turns into a full-on wrestling match as Oogway lunges at him with zero hesitation or warning. And Oogway is not afraid to fight dirty- pulling his hair and horns to get a hold on him and pull him down to his level. Eventually Oogway succeeds, because Kai headbutted him- and of course, Kai's forehead is burning hot.
Oogway of course already knew without having to feel for it- Kai wasn't fighting like his usual self.
Kai: "Oogway, if I die...kill the doctor."
You know what this is turning into a drabble now hold on-
so a few years back, a couple of friends and i tried to translate the scroll from the art book or at least get a deeper understanding of what was shown so when i found this a week ago, i went fucking ecstatic
FULL SCROLL!! there's even independent sections of the calligraphy! (i don't think it's entirely the same as the one in the artbook but there seems to be more detail here and definitely more visibility)