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starsstruck · 4 years

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cloudbusting; part one.

a classic coffee shop story. harry is a painter that quickly becomes a regular at his neighbourhood cafe, and it just might have something to do with a certain barista. hazy opening shifts, paintings on walls, and new regulars.

pairing: harry x reader warnings: language words: 8.3k

art by holly warburton. (i have no vision for the mc of the fic, people in the images of paintings i use are purely because this is how i envision harry’s art to be !)

series masterlist | story tag

a/n: first part !! i am so excited (and slightly nervous) to start and share this story i really hope everyone enjoys <3. as always, please share if you can and i would love to hear your thoughts !

There was a lot you liked about the city, especially the city in the morning.

The walk you always made to work wasn’t too long, the day still early enough that there were only a handful of people out along with you. Some joggers, some dog walkers, some people heading to work and likely some heading home.

Grateful for the sun being up before you were, the July morning already heating up the early air of the day. Feet moving you quickly through the Brooklyn Heights neighbourhood, you walked the last few blocks that led you from your apartment to the coffee shop.

The one thing you didn’t like about the summer morning, was that the air was making your eyes itch.

It was that fresh morning haze, the one that held the night’s humidity and somehow the night’s pollen as well, having you rub your nose for what seemed like the thousandth time that morning.

The sky had turned a light blue, a warm glow just rising over the buildings as you crossed the road, your hand already in your bag to fish out your keys.

Grabbing the newspaper that was placed on the street by the door, tucking it under your arm, and unlocked the door to the café. Stepping inside and promptly closing and relocking the door behind you. The air inside was stuffy and hot as it always was in the summer especially after a lack of airflow all night.

Punching in the security code, haphazardly throwing your bag and keys on the counter before shrugging off your jacket, already finding yourself feeling too hot. It was always the same path you followed, every opening shift.

Turning off the alarm, dumping your things on the counter, moving further behind the counter to turn on the iPad where POS were made, before walking into the even hotter back room to turn on the sound system. One of your playlists was already queued, soon the sound of Lizzo blasting through the shop while you moved to prep and bake the pastries.

Your body worked on auto pilot, not even having to think that much; preheating ovens and unwrapping thawing croissants. The air conditioning was slowly settling in the large space, grabbing yourself a glass of iced water to help cool yourself down.

Opening didn’t take very long; it was just the food prep that took a bit longer and needed you to come in a slightly earlier than necessary.

The café would be opening in about twenty minutes, and all you had left to do was brew the drip coffee and dial the espresso. It was always simultaneously your favourite and least favourite part of opening.

It gave you your first taste of coffee of the day, but it also meant you had to take multiple sips thus drinking too much coffee at once in the morning. Scrunching your nose at the acidic taste of the first shot you pulled, promptly dumping it out in the sink and rinsing out your mouth with some water.

Every opening shift was the same, hands moving without your mind as you pulled a few more shots, adjusting the grind of your espresso.

Two minutes until opening; you flipped through the daily newspaper and easily found the crossword, taking out the section that contained it to put it aside.

Grabbing the sign that would sit outside in one hand, you unlocked the front door and placed it on the sidewalk by the door. Moving the patio furniture that was kept inside at night, laying it out along the side of the café across the windows.

Changing your playlist as the clock changed to 7:00, the soft sounds of Leif Vollbeckk filling the space. Grabbing your laptop from your bag, hoping for a slow morning as you pulled up order forms you needed to fill out for next weeks deliveries. Filling a glass with ice, deciding to finish off the rest of the cold brew –knowing there wouldn’t be enough to fill up a cup to sell to a customer.

“Morning!”

Smiling at the sound of the familiar voice, diverting your attention from the spreadsheets on the screen to see the older man walking up towards the counter.

“You’re here early today.” Grinning, you pushed yourself away from the counter and grabbed the crossword puzzle and a pen that were put aside earlier.

“I’m going for lunch with my son later,” Dani sat himself in the plushy chair he loved so much. “I still wanted to make sure I could come in for my coffee.”

Handing him the crossword that was always saved for him, knowing he loved to get to it first.

“Let me know when you want your coffee,” you hummed, hands resting on your hips.

“I’ll take it right away today.” He told you, as you watched him reach in the paper bag he brought with him, pulling out a bagel.

He often brought his own food. You really didn’t care that he didn’t patronize the café for its food, and only the coffee. He came in nearly every day, sometimes two times in a day and he was definitely one of your favourite faces to see walk through the doors.

“I brought you some breakfast.”

Another reason why you really didn’t care was that he often brought you a little treat along with his own. He was familiar with everyone who worked with you, constantly asking about the schedule and who would be working when so he knew who to expect. But you knew that you were his favourite, and he never forgot to tell you that.

“You didn’t have to,” you smiled, as he waved off your comment and handed you your own bagel. “Thank you.”

“I know how you are in the morning, always running out of time and forgetting to eat.”

Leaving it with him at his table, making the short distance to go back behind the counter to get his coffee ready.

“It’s going to be hot out today.”

You listened as Dani spoke to you in the empty coffee shop, making the obliged daily weather talk. “I know. It was far too hot in here already when I came in.”

The big windows that didn’t have blinds acted as heaters in the morning, the rising sun shinning through them and heated up the entire coffee shop. The air conditioning that was recently turned on was starting to help with the air flow, but it was still heavy and humid around you.

Your hands working on muscle memory alone as you twisted your arm, tamping the espresso and clicking the portafilter in on the machine. Grabbing the little scale you used to weigh out the water, still early in the day and tinkering with the grind of the espresso, making slight adjustments.

Steaming the milk until you felt it hot enough, knowing Dani liked it extra extra hot no matter the time of year. Tapping the air bubbles out until you were satisfied, filling the paper cup up only halfway, just the way Dani wanted it.

“For you,” walking back to the regular customer, placing his coffee in front of him and seating yourself in the empty seat beside him.

You watched as he took a sip of the coffee, smile on his face. “Excellent as always.”

It was mostly a joke amongst everyone, that Dani would always personally review everyone’s skill at making his drink. It still gave you little ego boost every time he commented on how well you made coffee.

“I’m glad,” you said, swirling the ice around your glass before taking a long sip. You sat together for a bit, eating your bagels together while Dani told you about how his grandkids were doing.

This was probably one of your favourite parts of your job, getting to know the regulars. It was always so nice when you saw them walk in with a big smile, asking how you were doing and how things were going in your life.

Dani was obviously by far your favourite. He sometimes brought in his kids and grandkids, a big order of coffee going around as he bought everyone their drinks. He had lost his wife a couple years back, telling you that ever since then he was always looking for a new routine, and you were so happy to be a part of his daily pattern.

Your conversation was interrupted as a couple and their child walked into the shop, recognizing them as regulars as well while they waved hello to you.

Making your way back to behind the counter, putting their orders through. You knew they lived in the neighbourhood; you often saw them around. It was endearing, how often they came in for a little breakfast and coffee together with their daughter who couldn’t be older than four.

Things were starting to pick up slightly, a few other people stopping by for a coffee and breakfast to go on their way to work. You kept darting your eyes over to the big window that faced the street, checking the time over and over knowing that you had a milk delivery coming in at any time.

“Are your croissants baked in house?”

“Yes,” you nodded, not technically lying. “We get them frozen from a bakery, and we proof and bake them here every morning.”

“So are they fresh?” The middle-aged man asked, eyes glancing over to where the food sat in the display case.

“Yes,” you repeated. “They were baked this morning.”

He nodded again, pausing for a second. “I’ll just take this.” He grabbed for a muffin that sat in front of him.

You only nodded, blowing out a quiet sigh from between your lips. Already finding your patience running a bit thin this morning. Really for no particular reason, other than it would finally be your day off tomorrow.

Putting his order through, grabbing the itemized receipt for yourself so you wouldn’t forget what his drink was and bagged up his muffin.

You heard the door open, glancing up to see someone else walk through the door. “Can you make mine right away?” The man who had just ordered glanced towards the door as well, seeing the other customer walk in. “I’m in a rush.”

Only nodding, narrowing your eyes at him slightly in annoyance. If anything, him telling you that he was in a rush made you want to make his drink even slower. Still, ever the good customer service employee, you pulled the shots you needed. Steaming the soy milk and making a bit of a messy design with the milk, not quite caring about how his latte turned out.

“Thanks, sweetheart.” You didn’t hide the wrinkle in your nose at the use of the pet name, the man not even noticing as he struggled to get the lid on, spilling a bit of the latte on the counter before he headed towards the door.

Plastering your fake smile on your face, going back to the till to take the order of the client who had been waiting. “Hi there, thank you for waiting.”

You glanced around the space by the register, knowing that the pen you liked the use was sitting on the counter somewhere. “What can I get for you today?”

“Do you have bulletproof coffee?” Deep accent pulling your attention away from the search for your pen, facing the man standing on the other side of the counter.

“Uh –” you paused and bit your lips together for a beat, trying not to show your distaste. “No, I’m sorry.”

“That’s too bad,” the customer hummed, craning his neck to look at the menu board that hung behind you.

Is it really though? You saw your pen tucked between two receipts on the counter next to you, gripping it between your index and middle finger.

“I think Garden Coffee might have it? They’re a couple block down.”

Pointing in general direction of the neighbouring coffeehouse, personally not finding a liking to their coffee. It was a very similar set up to where you worked, but in your opinion, they tried far too hard to mimic a trendy third wave coffee shop and came off highly pretentious.

“No, no that’s okay,” the guy smiled at you. “I’ll have an espresso. Are they doubles?”

Nodding, you put his order into the system. “All the espresso drinks come as doubles, but I can do a single if you’d like? Or a shorter shot.”

You were mindlessly flipping the pen between your fingers, eyes continuously darting out the window just knowing the milk delivery was about to arrive. “No, a double would be perfect.”

“Sounds good,” you said. “Was that going to be for here or to go?”

“Here,” he nodded, opening his wallet.

“And was that going to be all for you today?” Not even fully paying attention, speaking through every line you asked customers before finalizing their order.

“Yeah – thank you.”

Telling him his total, opening the till as you dug out his change.

“Any reason you don’t have bulletproof coffee?” He brought your attention over to him again while you double checked you had the right amount of change.

It’s gross. “It’s not very popular,” you told him truthfully. “We don’t get asked for it too often either. Plus,” you tried to hide your grimace at the thought. “It’s a bit of an odd order. Not many people like it.”

He laughed at that. “Guess it is a bit of a refined taste.”

You could only nod, refined not really being the word to come to mind but you weren’t going to tell him that. Heading over to the corner where the espresso machine sat, quickly going through the same motions all over again and waited for the little mug to fill.

Taking a sip of your water as you watched the seconds pass on the machine, the slow and steady pour of the espresso landing right into the cup.

The man who had just ordered had wandered over to where orders were to be picked up, glancing around the space. “I’ve never been here before,” he was standing opposite of the espresso machine, half of him hidden behind it. “It’s a nice place.”

“Yeah, I like it,” you nodded, not glancing up at him to stop the espresso, tapping the little cup on the counter once the pour ended. You never knew what to say when people complimented the coffee shop, saying thank you seemed a bit odd since you weren’t the owner, but any other response always sounded the slightest bit off.

“Espresso for here,” you smiled, placing the little cup on a plate, spoon next to it and slid it over to the counter towards him. He was leaning closer to the wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes slightly narrowed, likely observing the paintings that hung up on that wall.

Your name was called through the café, attention being pulled away to see Dani now standing, empty cup in hand.

“Bye!” He called, waiting for you to walk to his side of the counter as he handed back the pen that you had lent him. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“No,” you shook your head, watching a look of mock shock dawn Dani’s face. “Even I need a day off.”

“That’s true,” he laughed. “Get your rest, I’ll see you Saturday.”

Waving bye to him once again, attention turning to another patron that was waiting for you by the till. Another morning regular, putting their order through quickly and heading over to make it.

“How does one get their art up here?”

“Sorry?” You weren’t paying attention, small diversions all around you.

The incoming milk delivery being on the top of your list of things to think about; next to making the iced americano, cleaning up some milk you spilt, and the shrill cries coming from the toddler seated directly across from you.

“The art.” The guy who had asked about bulletproof coffee was still standing in the same spot, small mug in hand, by the series of paintings that covered the wall. “Who – I mean how could I get my art up there?”

It was a common question, but not one you could get into right away because it was just then that you saw the familiar logo on the white truck pull up across the street, signaling your milk delivery.

It was like this every week, but you hated when you were alone and this delivery came. Since it was one that you had to put away right away, and if customers came in they would get fussy because you had to be in the back, putting away all the dairy since it couldn’t exactly sit out for that long.

“Uh –” you smiled at the regular when you handed him his iced americano, turning to the other customer who had the question about the art. “Sorry, just a sec.”

Watching through the window as the delivery man made his way with a dolly packed with crates. Moving from behind the counter and taking the short walk to the front door, propping the door open for him.

Greeting him as you usually did, grabbing the order form from him to sign while he brought the dolly around the back, knowing where the milk went. Quickly signing your name at the bottom as you reviewed the order, shoving your pen back into your pocket to go fill up the back fridge with rows and rows of milk jugs.

The delivery man had already left, and you knew he was going to be coming back with more so you worked as quickly as possible, keeping an eye on the front counter to make sure there were no impatient customers waiting for you.

Stepping out of the back room, searching for the folder where you kept receipts and order forms from deliveries. Delivery man promptly returning, leaving another stack of crates for you before he headed off to use the restroom.

“Do you need a hand?”

“Jesus,” you couldn’t help the small curse at the unexpected voice and presence that made itself known next to you.

Accented voice pulling you out of your thoughts once again, seeing the bulletproof coffee man standing far too close to the inside where only staff were allowed in. Realizing he was offering to help with putting away the milk, you narrowed your eyes slightly at the odd offer of help.

“What…” you paused, fully taking in his appearance for the first time. He was young, probably around the same age as you. Brown hair that fell in floppy curls around his face, square jaw and bright eyes that completed his whole charming look.

“I’m good, thanks,” you took a step towards him, hoping he would get the hint and take a step outside of the space that was really just for staff. He seemed to catch on, watching you with a little smile playing on his lips.

“Sorry,” you found yourself apologizing, remembering he was waiting for an answer about the paintings. “I just have to –” sticking your thumb to point behind your shoulder, motioning to the dairy that was left to be put away. “I’m nearly done.”

“No worries, take your time.” He smiled, and you couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit watched as you walked through the narrow back room to where the fridge sat in the back, unloading the rest of your delivery.

Finishing up, waving goodbye to the delivery man you knew very well you’d see again in a week’s time as he wheeled away empty crates on his dolly.

Searching for where you last placed your coffee and half eaten bagel, grateful to not have seen a single new customer and you added some more ice to your now watered down cold brew.

Eyes flitting over to where the bulletproof coffee drinker stood by the counter where you had left him, seeing him currently glancing at the space around him. You yanked open the messy drawer next to the till, rifling through it while you looked for the business cards you knew you kept somewhere deep down.

“Here,” grabbing the attention of the man who was observing paintings on the other wall, leaving the inside from behind the counter, to the open floor of the café.

He turned around to face you, eyes dropping down to the card you extended out to him. “The art doesn’t go through us. This woman here,” you motioned to the card. “She runs it, in a few coffee shops actually.”

You had only met Janeen a handful of times – when the art got switched out and a couple other times when she came in for a coffee. She was probably in her late fifties, a painter herself.

“Some of the art up right now is actually hers,” you glanced around, pointing to a few you were fairly certain belonged to Janeen, all for sale.

“Great thank you.” He gripped the card between his fingers, eyebrow furrowing slightly as his eyes skimmed over the name and email on Janeen’s card. He really must be an artist. Catching what you assumed was dried paint on his hands, the deep blue swiped over his skin standing out.

“Do you know how I should like, submit art to her? Or if there’s a process or anything?”

“I don’t, sorry,” offering him a small sympathetic smile. “It’s out of our hands, best bet would be to talk to Janeen about it.”

“Is there a manger I could ask?” He was glancing behind you as if you weren’t working alone.

Narrowing your eyes at him, knowing it was an easy mistake and was not at all meant to be a rude comment towards you, but for some reason you found yourself so socially exhausted so early in the morning.

“I am the manger.”

It came out a bit harsher than intended, but you didn’t care too much by this point. You saw his eyes visibly widen, mouth part slightly. “Oh -” tripping over his words as he held your narrowed gaze. “Sorry, I… I didn’t mean anything –”

He was cut off, saved by the bell if you will, to a group of young women walking through the door which meant you had to excuse yourself and head back behind the counter.

Mind drifting as you took their orders, feeling slightly peeved with the way the conversation with the apparent artist went. You knew you shouldn’t take it personally, customer’s said things all the time that really shouldn’t be taken seriously.

But it was small things like that, that had your mind trickling down a drain of will I ever be taken seriously and what am I doing with my life.

You loved your job, for the most part at least, you really did. But there was always that little voice of doubt inside of you, telling you that you weren’t doing enough with your life.

And when someone seemed to doubt the things you accomplished in life, it left a bad taste in your mouth and an unhealthy train of thoughts bringing your mood down.

At its core, it was pretty dumb to be irked by a comment asking for the manager. It was obviously because as the manager, you felt like maybe your position wasn’t well deserved, or like it shouldn’t be what you’re doing.

After making two iced mochas, cleaning up the small mess of spilt chocolate on the counter before digging out the folder where order forms were a bit haphazardly placed. Deciding now was the best time as ever to start putting them in order.

Glancing at the clock, you saw it was just barely past 8:30. You realized you still had about six hours left on your shift. Your eyes quickly shifted around the shop, seeing mostly empty tables as most of the morning customers got their orders to go. There weren’t any dishes pilled up anywhere, not yet at least.

The man who had been asking you about the art seemed to be finally seated, hunched over a table in the corner with a little book in front of him, twirling a pencil between his fingers the same way you did. You felt a bit bad for snapping at him, but you didn’t feel like entertaining conversation with him again.

Heading to the back room again, deciding that soft indie guitar wasn’t really the mood anymore, you changed your playlist once again.

A soft sigh left your mouth again, already feeling done with this day. You don’t really know why you felt so on edge. It was likely because today was the last day before a day off, after working a long stretch of shifts without much of a break.

Hours trickled by, the day never really picking up with just a slow stream of customers coming in. It gave you time to finalize the upcoming weeks schedule, sending it out to the rest of the staff.

It was just before one o’clock when Aleena came in, bright smile on her face when she greeted you.

Aleena as by far your favourite co-worker. She was in her mid thirties and was an absolute sweetheart. She was, for lack of a better term, your work wife.

When the both of you worked together you were always on the same page, not having to talk to know what the other one was thinking. The two of you would take turns bringing each other lunch, or snacks, or just little treats for each other.

“How has today been?” Joining her in the back room, shooting a glance to the front to make sure no customers were coming in.

“Hey Leena! It’s been okay,” you shrugged, watching her hang up her purse. “Pretty slow, which is kind of nice. I’m just,” you blew out a sigh for what felt like the hundredth time. “Tired today. I don’t really feel like talking to customers.”

She offered you a sympathetic smile. “You’re off tomorrow, yeah? Hope you have the time to relax, and see your friends.”

“I am! I’m seeing Mae tomorrow, she managed to get the day off too.”

“That’ll be good! You know if its slow it’s okay if you want to leave early today.”

You had an hour left on your shift, a small overlap between workers. It was unusual, to have one person working alone all day. Usually one person opened and then was joined by another later in the day, and the two people would close together with some staff changes in the middle of the day.

But with a last minute shift change due to someone getting food poisoning, you spent all day alone and Aleena would be closing alone. You had offered to come back in later in the day to help her close, since it was a bit of a feat to do alone, but she has insistently refused and said you needed your time off.

“I think I might…” you smiled at her. “If you’re okay here! I doubt it’ll pick up, the sales today have been really low.”

“Of course,” she waved you off. “Go, go. I’ll be okay.”

Forever grateful for Aleena, wrapping her in a little side hug as you bid your goodbyes and promised you’d bring her some baked treats next time to thank her.

“Oh! And the schedule is out, and I’ve already done the ordering for next week so there’s nothing else to worry about. Take it easy today.”

Gathering up your things and making yourself some iced tea for the road, swinging your bag over your shoulder and dreaming of the next day and a half of putting your feet up, and seeing your friends, not giving the shop one more look now that you were off.

You were never really one for routines.

Rather, you weren’t really one to be setting routines, instead letting them work into place for you. In a sense, you still really didn’t a set routine, forever slightly disorganized.

Your weekly schedule was always a bit different, depending on the shifts you had. Sometimes it would be the same ones for weeks on end, being able to find a good groove with them.

But that never lasted. You didn’t mind though, always saying that you were just taking life as it came.

The one big consistency was the walk from your front door to behind the counter at work. No matter the time of day, it was always the same. Walking the steps down from your building and out to the street, sometimes taking your time and sometimes your pace quick.

And when you opened the door to work, you would head to the back room first, take a few seconds, and then face the rest of your day.

This Saturday was no different at all.

Waving hello to your, after the much needed day off, shutting the door to the staff room behind you for a second of peace before the long shift started.

“How’s the day been?” After taking a minute by yourself, you walked out and stopped to ask one of your coworkers, Erinne, about the sales so far.

“Busy,” she sighed, turning away from the till to face you. “Finally slowed down for a bit, but I’m sure it’ll be the same this afternoon.”

You only nodded, glancing around the space to see Aleena and another colleague, Noah, working on bar. They were cleaning up grounds that littered the counter and arranging milk in the small fridge underneath the bar.

Signs of a rush that hit the café, the quick clean up that was needed before another wave of people came in.

“Well, I’m off.” Erinne said from next to you, clocking out of the system.

You didn’t have a single bad thing to say about any of your coworkers, or least you pretended that you didn’t. When you became manager, you knew that you were no longer able to gossip too much or talk about baristas you didn’t like.

Still, you couldn’t help but slightly dislike Erinne. She showed no sign of ever really listening to you, only doing half a job even when you reminded her to finish her duties.

“Have a good rest of your day,” you smiled to her, watching her reach for her phone that was in her back pocket as she headed to the back to grab her things.

Walking over to the back, greeting Aleena and Noah, promptly making yourself a drink to get a little caffeine boost. “How was your day off?”

“Really good,” you nodded, smacking your lips at the slightly bitter espresso, making a mental note to double check that later.

Filling in Aleena on your day off, before the conversation was ultimately interrupted by a group coming in. She went to the till, taking their orders while Noah stayed on bar to make the drinks. You saw them not needing that much help, no yet anyway, deciding to grab the dish bin to collect the emptied mugs you spotted left behind on tables.

Walking to the back of the shop first, finding a few mugs stacked and abandoned. Propping the dish bin against your hip, gathering up the dishes to be cleaned. Eyeing over seated customers, catching snippets of their conversations as you walked by.

Your eyes fell to a table tucked in the corner, recognizing the man who had been asking you about who to contact in relation the paintings on that hung on the wall. He had the same black book in front of him, pencils laid out around the table with one in hand, tapping it against the table.

He glanced up at you seemingly when you walked by, eyes flitting over to yours. He sent you a small smile as you bussed the table across from his, your eyes briefly leaving his to glance up to the front of the café, making sure the line wasn’t that long.

“I emailed Janeen.”

His voice pulled your attention back to him, as you picked up the buss bin again, not seeing any more dirty dishes that needed to be run through the dishwasher. He was obviously talking to you.

“That’s good,” you didn’t know what else to say.

He put down the pencil he was tapping against the table, closing the book in front of him. “I – I’m sorry about the other day –”

You were nearly embarrassed about snapping at him. Shrugging as your lips twitched to a little smile, gaze falling over the table in front of him. He had another espresso in front of him, this time over ice. “You don’t need to apologize.”

“I didn’t mean it like – you couldn’t be manager or anything. Just –” he motioned with his hands, as if replacing his words. “Looking to get some more exposure for my art.”

“Is a little coffee shop really the best exposure?”

“I mean,” he shrugged, sitting back in his chair. “I’ll take what I can get.”

“That’s fair.” Assuming the conversation was over, glancing back up to see Aleena taking someone’s order.

“How long have you been working here?”

“Hm? Over two years now.” Glancing back at him, hearing the door opening and most likely welcoming more paying customers.

“That’s a while,” he nodded, shifting in his chair again.

You nodded absentmindedly, seeing two large groups walk in the café, knowing you needed to head over to work behind the counter. “Sorry – I need to head back.”

“Of course,” he sat back again. “Sorry again.”

The sound of your name on his lips stopped you in your tracks. You turned back towards him, brow furrowed and mouth slightly gaped open.

“Heard a customer say your name last time,” he spoke before you could ask how he knew your name. “I’m Harry.”

“Nice to meet you,” words mumbled, quick nod in his direction before you were walking back towards the counter with your dish bin in hand.

It wasn’t uncommon, that customers would learn your name. No one wore nametags, so it gave a slight ounce of anonymity.

Obviously, regulars like Dani got to know you pretty well.

But it wasn’t all of them. Some customers would introduce themselves to you and ask for your name even though you swore you’d only seen them once, and some would come in everyday without the slightest inclination of wanting to get to know you.

Harry watched you walk away, disappearing to the back room before he heard a loud clang of dishes, assuming you set down the bin that you had been holding. He saw you reappear again, quickly walking over to the register and putting a hand on your coworkers’ shoulder, telling her something.

He looked around the coffee shop again, glancing at the paintings that decorated the walls. He had already taken his time to look at each and every one, nearly all of them by the same artist. They were all beach scenes, the talent of the artist very apparent in the way that they painted the reflections off the water.

Though the only one that really stood out to Harry was one depicting a sunset, bright oranges and reds filling the entire frame.

He glanced down to his own orange coloured pencil in hand, the haphazard shapes and scribbles that were on the page in front of him. He hadn’t made much progress as he tried to plan out his next series. All he knew is that he was currently very drawn to orange, tangerine to be exact, and that he wanted this next series to be big.

He still had yet to find it, the small idea that would start to form in the back of his mind that would grow into something huge. His inspiration usually came from little mundane ideas, liking to take his time to observe everything around him.

The warm glow from the sun cast through the windows, the harsh hiss of the steam wand from the espresso machine, the crumbs that fell around a child eating their croissant.

He took the last sip of his coffee, crunching the spare bits of ice that fell out of the cup and under his teeth.

Sketching random faces he saw around him, eyes moving all around the space. Gaze flitting over to where he saw you reappear for a very brief second, placing a now empty dish bin out for customers to fill, before spinning way and disappearing from his line of sight again.

The scuffed white floor wasn’t one that was particularly nice, per se, but it gave a feeling that this shop was lived in and well frequented. There was one wall that was all wood, with little shelves lined against it. Potted plants and random books placed on the shelves, next to a little sign that read “take a book, leave a book”.

He had no idea how he’d never seen this café. He must have passed it a few times at least, never really noticing it until the other morning when he walked a different route.

It was big and open, but still felt warm. The ambiance inside wasn’t stiff or off-putting, instead it was inviting and bright.

Even on a day like today, where the lineup at the register never really seemed to go away, there was a calmness in the air and not intensity or stress.

Which is why he came back a couple days later, bright and early on Monday morning. He realized it was a slight oversight on his part, getting there a bit too early, before the doors were even unlocked.

Seeing as he had about ten minutes to kill, deciding to take another walk around the block while he waited. Going down the street and walking past the shop, squinting lightly to gaze through the windows.

Harry saw you at the counter, gloved hands holding a knife as you carefully sliced a loaf, one he assumed to be banana bread. Your eyebrows were lightly drawn together, concentrating on the task at hand.

Amused to see you grab what appeared to be a thinner piece away from the others, breaking off a corner and popping it into your mouth. He didn’t realize he had stopped walking, until your attention diverted away from the cutting board in front of you and up out the window.

He immediately heated up as your eyes found his, embarrassed to be found watching you through the window. He was already certain he hadn’t made a great impression on you, and this wasn’t really helping his case.

Your lips moved in a small smile, eyes darting away from his for a beat. He followed your gaze, assuming you were looking up at the clock that hung on the wall.

The next time he glanced at you, you had placed the knife on the cutting board and were walking around the counter until you reach the door to his left.

“Were you waiting to come in, or?”

Propping the door open a bit, waiting as Harry walked the few needed steps over to you. “Yeah! I know you’re not open yet so –”

You moved aside, keeping the door open. “You can wait inside, if you’d like.”

“Thank you,” he said, after a slight pause. He was a bit shocked to have you inviting him in like this even with only a few minutes left until the shop opened.

“Yeah, no worries,” you closed the door behind him after he walked in. “Although,” you spoke again, already walking back to the counter. “I won’t serve you for another eight minutes.”

He could hear a small smile in your voice, even with your back turned to him. He only laughed in response, putting his bag down at the same table he sat at last time, secluded and tucked away in the corner and with the sun’s rays hitting the wall next to it.

Suddenly the music around him changed, mood going from loud and upbeat, to soft and soothing with what seemed like the volume being turned down quite a bit. Harry couldn’t see you form where he sat, but he heard the occasional tap turning on and whir of a coffee grinder.

He waited a bit longer, making sure it was past seven before he walked up to the register. You were standing in front of the espresso machine, swirling a little clear glass a couple times before you took a sip.

“Espresso this morning?”

You hadn’t moved from your spot, taking another little sip from the glass in hand.

“Please,” grabbing his wallet from his pocket, digging through for some folded bills. You walked the short distance to the till, standing in front of him with the counter separating the two of you.

Wordlessly grabbing the money from the counter, putting the order through and counting up the change. “Oh, keep the change.” He smiled, refusing your extended hand.

“Thank you,” you murmured, palm opening to let the coins fall into the tip jar in front of you.

He followed you, from opposite sides of the counter as you moved to the back where the espresso machine sat. “It might be a bit bitter,” your voice cut through the shop. “I’m still adjusting it a bit, so let me know if its no good.”

“Will do,” Harry nodded, hearing the whir of the grinder as you prepared his coffee. He didn’t know why he was suddenly finding himself so unsure of what to say to you, very aware of the emptiness of the shop.

A beat of silence passed, the only noise in the shop coming from the music blaring through the speakers. He’d never heard it before, quickly finding a liking to whatever you were playing.

“Have you heard from Janeen?”

The question took him aback slightly. “No, not yet anyway.”

You hummed from behind the counter, tapping the cup on the counter like you had last time, before placing it on a little plate and sliding it over to him. “I think they’re changing the current painting’s soon. She’ll for sure be in for that so I can ask her about it if you’d like.”

He beamed. “That would be great! Thank you.”

Getting a taste of the coffee you had just made him. “It’s good,” he nodded. “Not too bitter.”

Another moment of silence fell, and that would be when Harry should’ve grabbed his coffee and walked away but for some reason, he didn’t want to leave the counter just yet.

You broke the silence again. “You’re here really early for a sit-down coffee, and not a to go.”

“Is that odd?” Harry was curious of why you brought it up.

“I mean,” you only shrugged, moving from where you stood to do something behind the espresso machine he couldn’t quite see. “Not really but – usually early morning regulars who get coffee for here are above the age of sixty. At a minimum.”

Harry laughed, watching you fiddle with the blue mugs that sat on top of the machine. “I’m just up early I guess. I like the sunrise.”

You smiled in return, and Harry thought that maybe he hadn’t made that bad of an impression on you after all. He didn’t know why he was so suddenly drawn to this café, drawn to spending his free time here, but he warmed when you mirrored his grin.

But when he heard the door open behind him, and you moved to greet the customer that came in, he realized that it was simply your job to be nice to him.

“Someone’s here before me!”

Harry recognized the older man from the other day, the one who had called out your name when he said bye to you.

“I thought I got the first coffee of the day?”

You laughed, grabbing a cup from where they sat stacked. “You didn’t get the first, but you get the best.”

Moving to make Dani’s drink, pulling a shot and steaming the extra hot milk, bringing the cup over once the drink was made to where he sat at his usual table.

Harry had gone to sit back down, once again hunched over a black book with a pencil twirling between his fingers.

You took your time to fully notice his appearance. He loose fit blue jeans, with an off-white teeshirt that read something you didn’t quite catch, slightly tucked in. You had never fully noticed the tattoos that covered one of his arms before, only briefly catching glances of them but in this moment, they seemed to stand out even more.

His hair was falling over his forehead as he leant over the table, and you couldn’t help but admire the clear cut of this jaw that was apparent to you as you gazed at his profile. Your eyes fell back to his hands, fingers toying with a pencil. Even from slightly further back, you could see some green splotches of paint on his skin.

You were slightly curious to what he was doing.

Always a bit nosy, especially with customers that you recognized to come in more than once. Whether they were writing a novel, reading a book, working from home; you liked to see what people would come in to do.

Both you and Aleena loved to discuss the personal lives of regulars, mapping out your own stories for the lives your customers lived. Based off who they came in with and small tidbits they would share with you.

You liked to think that you were good at reading people, and that you could more or less understand people just based off small interactions.

It was obvious to you that Harry was going to become a new regular. He had already come in three times in the past five days.

You wished you weren’t working alone, because you found yourself needing to talk to someone about him. Although you knew nearly nothing about him. Only the fact that he for some reason liked bulletproof coffee, that he was an artist, and that he liked to wear vans.

Another thing you did know, was that making him his coffee was going to become part of your work routine.

He always ordered an espresso, sometimes over ice. From the few times that you walked past his table and stole quick glances at the sketchbook that he always carried, he seemed to be working on bright colourful sketches. Always using pencil crayons, and never pencils or pens.

He had become such a quick new regular, that even Dani was talking to him. The both of them often came in the earliest out of anyone else.

In the past three weeks, he had come in nearly every day that you were working. He usually came in bright and early, right after the doors were unlocked and would seat himself comfortably in the back.

On the days when you weren’t opening and would stay to close, he was already there and would leave sometime in the afternoon. A few times he came in later in the day, staying close to closing as the coffee shop emptied out.

He had kept asking you about Janeen, and if he could get his art up on the walls one day. You had seen her one day when he wasn’t there, briefly asking her about the process of how she decided about who’s art went where.

You knew that her little painting rotation ran in a few other shops around town. She said that she wasn’t looking for anything new for a bit, but she was keeping all the submissions she got on file.

“Did she say when she would start looking again?”

“No,” you shook your head, after repeating what Janeen had told you to Harry the next time you saw him. “Sorry. But I’m sure it shouldn’t be too long.”

Harry nodded, glancing down at the glass of water between his hands that he had gone up to grab, before you went up to him with the news from your talk with Janeen.

“Why isn’t it run through you guys?”

“What?”

“I mean,” Harry paused. “I’m just curious about how it works. Why is it Janeen who does all the art if she has nothing to do with this café?”

“Honestly I don’t know,” you told him truthfully. “The owner set it up with her, long before I started.”

“Oh okay,” he nodded. “It’s a neat thing, to have local art for sale like this.”

“It is,” you glanced at the art. “But honestly we don’t sell them very often. I think only two or three times in my time here I’ve seen one sold.”

That surprised Harry. “Really? I mean, I guess people don’t come for coffee to buy a painting. Still, it adds a nice atmosphere to the café.” He paused, watching your lips quirk up to a smile. “Would be nice to have my own art up, but…”

Your eyes narrowed on him slightly. “Can I see this art? That you so urgently need to put up in here?”

He tried to stop the beaming smile that was building, biting his lips together for a second. For once feeling like it wasn’t him incessantly asking you something or bugging you, this time you asking him something about himself.

“No,” he heard himself saying, watching your eyebrows jolt up in surprise.

“No?”

His smile was sly, idea forming. He quickly walked back to his table and ripped out a small piece of paper from his sketchbook. He turned back around, seeing you hadn’t moved from your spot by the register.

“Here,” he said once he returned to his side of the counter where he had left you. “I have a few pieces up in a show next week. It’s just for one night, at a little gallery downtown.”

Writing down the date of the show and the name of gallery, he handed the scrap paper over to you. “You should come.”

#harry styles writing #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #I HOPE everyone enjoys enjoys !!!!#please let me know what u think and share if u can !! <333 #cb

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sovietbarnes · 3 years

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this is late as fuuuuck but here we go lol tagged by@svartalfheimr <3 thank you!!

oh shit there were two posts from you that I forgot about ahh my bad D:

and now the big one:

1. Why did you choose your url?

When you tagged me I had a different url so I will respond for both. sithmaul- idk I just really like Darth Maul and it sounded cool. I used slthmaul (with an L instead of an i) for a real long time because sithmaul was being held by someone, but eventually it was released and I finally got it! sovietbarnes- I just also really like Bucky Barnes and I love his comic storyline in which he was taken by the Soviets instead of Hydra and sovietbarnes also makes me feel buckynat feelings. I've had this url for years and it has always been one of my faves

2. Any side blogs?

I have a separate account with a k-pop blog that I haven't touched in a solid 6 years

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

*sweats* I first joined tumblr in 2011 or 2012 so about ten years which is.. unsettling

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i used to have fun queue tags while using xkit, but I haven't been using it these days and I can't be bothered to manually tag everything especially since 95% of my posts are queued

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

bands. This was a good old fashioned band blog back in the days of yore

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

again I just really like Bucky and especially comic Bucky..

7. Why did you choose your header?

no header currently. I'm planning on making one soon, but I'm kind of enjoying just not having one for the time being

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

this is one of those times when I wish I didn't accidentally delete my entire account like an absolute fool, but I was able to find this one post from my old account floating around that has 926 notes.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

is there an easy way people are figuring this out or am I just supposed to count? 26, but about a third of those are now inactive lmao

10. How many followers do you have?

oof my old blog had over 2k i have 208

11. How many people do you follow?

165, I need more people to follow so feel free to give me some suggestions

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

every text post I've made is borderline a shitpost ahaa

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

too often. that's like half the reason I left, it got too distracting with school tbh

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I have always pretty much completely avoided discourse so I don't think so. If I ever did it was really mild

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

instant ignore

16. Do you like tag games?

absolutely!

17. Do you like ask games?

I do! when I see someone else post them I will send an ask and I like reblogging them myself, but I haven't done so lately since I don't have many followers on this blog or many mutuals that I interact a lot with anymore so I don't get responses lol mayber in the future

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

aside from Shay i don't have the slightest clue, but I'm sure most of them have a follower count that would put me to shame

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i'm pretty sure @janesfoster is my soul mate

20. Tags!

gonna skip tags on this one since it's a combo deal just for Svar

#me #svartalfheimr #tag games

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alice-in-idol-land · 4 years

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Done a bunch of requests, they’re all queued! Individual ask answers are under the cut!

All request fills will be posted in order but are already finished - if anyone would like to see anything mentioned below early, please send me a DM and I’ll send the files straight to you! I still have more requests to do so if you don’t see yours, fear not, for it shall be done soon;; ♡

Most definitely! There’s one thing before these in the queue, so you’ll be second;; ♡

Aww anon ily;; ♡ I most definitely did, but I’m sorry for taking so long;; I hope they’re worth the wait though!!

Anon it will Always be alright to request Constance because!! I adore her as well!!! These were super fun to do, so thank you!

@french-hydrangeas Happy (very very very) late Valentine’s to you as well;; I hope you’ve been doing extra well and staying safe!! You most definitely may; I made them to match the Nene’s I posted earlier, if that’s okay!! ♡ Love to you!!! ♡♡♡

@kunoichi-of--destiny Of course, of course! There’s some purple-red ones too because;; I forgot this said pink for a moment;; I hope both will be okay though!!

@sleepy-ruri I don’t mind at all!! They’ll be up in two separate posts, one for each of them!! Thank you very much for asking, and happy birthday, by the way!!! (I read it in your tags;; ♡)

@kamaliainhalesoxygen It’s never too much to ask, especially if it’s bandori content;; I haven’t made anything for them in foreverrr so it was a pleasure!! Thank you very much for enabling me, you’re wonderful!! ♡♡♡

@eyeparadox Ah, of course!! I hope you’re doing well and staying safe too, please try not to overwork yourself!! I’ll send much love!!! ♡

@owain-is-extra This one’s bundled with the above one since they’re requesting the same thing but - yes, I totally agree?? His Muspell attire is so cute, I love it;; To answer the question, it’s going well, I think;; My break started recently and because of all this stuff going on it’s been extended by a lot, so I finally have time to relax, which is nice!! I’ll be able to edit lots so I’m happy~♡ Thank you for inquiring, I hope you’re doing well as well!!

For sure, for sure! I’ve decided to do one post for each of them, if that’s alright!

Most!! Certainly!!! I’m Big Love for her;; ♡

Anon I would love to, but I’m not too familiar with the source material... If you could send in something a tad more specific, I’d be glad to do some for you!

@purplerosie23 Of course, they were a pleasure to make! Thank you very much for what you did earlier, that doesn’t happen very often;; You're super duper sweet and I think you should know that!! ♡

@adannyvasquez Ah, most certainly! This is the last of the ones I’ve done so far - she’s 15th in the list as of now;; ♡

#requests #mood i did these in like two days i'm livingggg #um time for some random commentary that no one will read!!!#lately i like listening to a3! music as i edit;;#it's all very good!!#but also hypmic of course!!#the strong beats are soooo good for finding a rhythm;;#but also Q&A by cherry bullet in specific although that's k-pop #it's!! very cute and i like it!!!#but also recently i've been watching some slice of life anime?#usually i don't because;; they make me cry;;;#but these ones have given nice tears so i'm happy~#i love crying for stupid reasons please don't @ me #anyway that's enough from meee

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georgesdarkhorse · 5 years

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Fever- Part 1

Hi all! This is my new George fic, Fever, it will be told in four parts. Please leave a comment, like, or reblog if you enjoyed! Keep an eye out for part two, posted soon!

Part 1

Edie picked up her clipboard, and started checking off what had been completed in the past hour.

Additional toilet roll- check Clean bar- check Setup ticket booths- Sandy took care of that Add towels, cups, water pitchers to dressing rooms….

Her brow furrowed, had she brought the towels? Glancing at her watch, there was only 30 minutes until the doors opened, the band would be arriving any moment for a brief soundcheck. For the past hour she could hear chatter outside of the venue as eager ticket holders queued up, ready to fight for a spot close to the stage. Edie could hardly believe they were here that early, but from what she’d been told, tonight’s group was a local favorite. They called themselves The Beatles, and last week when they were at the Majestic, they played a nearly sold out show.

“Oi, girl, are you done? The boys are here.” Edie snapped her head up at the voice of the sound engineer, Bill. Though she had introduced herself when she got here, he apparently hadn’t taken the time to remember her name.

“Yes, I just have to run towels down to the dressing rooms, that’s all.”

“Alright, let’s make it quick, yeah?”

Edie nodded in agreement before heading off to the storage closet behind the bar. She loaded up on an armful of mismatched towels and started to make her way down to the dressing rooms under the stage. On her way she noticed the back door was open. Peeking out she spotted a group or boys, no older than she, working to unload a car. Though she was new, Edie suspected that they were a little more rough cut than what usually came through the Majestic. With long boyish hair, drain pipe pants, and black jackets they looked more like greasers than musicians. Not wanting to waste any more time, she turned and thundered down the stairs.

Noticing the closed dressing room door she let out an irritated sigh, silently cursing herself for not leaving it open. Shuffling the towels into one arm, she opened the door, only to be met with a shirtless man on the other side. His delicate eyes were wide with a surprise that mirrored Edie’s own.

Without much thought, and a burning blush on her face, Edie started to back out of the room. “Oh, oh god I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were in here. Sorry, sorry.”

The boy recovered in an instant, replacing with the shocked expression with a smile, “S’alright. No harm done.” He reached for a shirt, pulling it over his head. “Those for us?” He asked before Edie had a chance to fully escape.

“Uh, yes, I forgot to bring them down. Where would you like them?” She hovered by the doorway, not knowing if it would be better to leave or stay put.

“Over on that table is fine, we’ll find a place for them.” The boy, now dressed, leaned against the long vanity counter, facing Edie. “Say, you’re not from here, are you?”

Edie shook her head, turning to face him, instantly swallowing. God was he just the cutest. They don’t make them like that back home. His face was soft, yet inquisitive. His long hair, brushed forward, played upon the innocence that his wide dark brown eyes invoked.

“No, I’m from New York. I’m only here for a few months visiting my Aunt and Uncle.” Over the past two weeks, she had repeated this same line day in and day out.

“Really? Why would you leave New York City for Liverpool?” His eyebrows knitted together, disbelief painted his features.

“Oh, no, I’m not from the city. I’m from New York State. The city is a few hours from me, Liverpool is actually much larger than where I’m from.”

His disbelief morphed into inquiry. “Really?” Edie nodded. The boy extended his hand, “Well, I’m Paul.”

She smiled, reciprocating his offering, “Edie.”

The sound of cases rolling across the stage rattled overhead. Soundcheck would begin in a matter of minutes. Edie was reminded of all that she had to do before the doors opened, but since she was standing here with Paul, she pushed it to the back of her mind.

“Edie. So when did you get here? I don’t remember seeing you last week when we played this hall.”

“About two weeks ago, but this is my first week working here. Back home I helped out at a dance hall and thought it would be nice to do it while I was here for the summer.”

“Mustn been hard to find work, there’s a billion little places around Liverpool you know.”

“Oh I’ve noticed, I applied to about half of them and this is the only one who would hire me.”

Paul pulled a face, but before he could answer, two other boys entered the dressing room. Edie recognized them as the ones by the car.

“We’ve been here for five bloody minutes and you’ve already wrangled yourself a bird Paulie. Is that a new record?” A tall boy with a prominent nose quipped as he and the other set a few bottles of beer on the counter. Edie felt her face flush.

“Oh come off it John, she works here. She’s an American you know. Edie, this is John and George, they’re me band mates.”

John looked at Edie with a new kind of interest and a mischievous glint in his eye. “An American, huh? What brings you all the way to cold, grey, rainy Liverpool and not bright and shiny London?”

“I have family here.” Her answer was shortened, now feeling uncomfortable with three sets of male eyes taking her in. “Uh, well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Not here, no.” John added, the corners of his mouth quirking into a smile.

Edie answered his cheeky comment with a cold glare. “Have a good show boys,” she said before leaving the dressing room and heading back to the lobby.

As much as their last conversation left Edie feeling a bit miffed, she couldn’t deny that The Beatles knew how to play, and they sure knew how to work a crowd. The other acts that blew through there seemed bland in comparison.

Though Liverpool was far, far different from her small American hometown, she could find solace in the live music. American rock had taken over the youth of England, and for a moment, while they played a Little Richard or Shirelles song, she could close her eyes and be transported into the hometown dancehall where she spent so many summer nights.

In late July The Beatles came to play again. This time Edie made sure to have all of her boxes checked before the band arrived, as she wished to avoid another conversation with John Lennon. From the dressing room conversation to his cocky stage presence, something about him made her uncomfortable. He seemed to be the type who loved to pick and get under one's skin. God, those were the worst type, weren’t they? Just down right arrogant.

A lot of local girls seemed to enjoy his crude behavior though, for reasons Edie didn’t understand. In fact, all of the boys seemed to be a bit of a local heartthrob among the ladies. From the moment they took the stage, the crowd was glued to them, calling their names and shrieking when they threw a wink into the crowd. Little did they realize that the boys couldn’t see much past the bright stage lights.

Unfortunately, her plan for avoidance was short lived when one of her co-workers passed on that the band needed another pitcher of water in their dressing room. By now the doors, or flood gates as they should more appropriately be named, had been opened and people were milling about the ballroom. Edie let out an irritated sigh, maneuvering a full pitcher through this crowd would be a nightmare.

This time, when she reached the dressing room door, it was open. The boys were sprawled out in the cramped room, limbs overlapping the arms of chairs and resting atop of the coffee table. Guitars adorned their laps, cigarettes were in their lips, and beer bottles were placed about. There was a jittery calm hanging in the air.

“Ah, Miss. America!” Paul greeted as Edie stepped into the room.

“The water you requested, can I leave it here?” She stepped over to the vanity counter, setting the pitcher down. John seemed to be preoccupied with his acoustic, picking away with the other guitarist, George.

“Sure, sure, you enjoy the show last time?” He asked, removing the cigarette from his mouth and flicking his ashes into the tray.

“Sure from what I heard. I don’t really get to watch that often, but I like how you played a lot of American tunes.”

“You didn’t watch?” John asked, still focusing on his guitar.

“No, not really. I’m too busy making sure people don’t sneak in.” John smirked.

“Well, why don’t you come to one of our other shows? We play a lot at the Cavern downtown,” Paul offered.

“Get acquainted with the riveting nightlife of Liverpool,” George added, and for the first time Edie actually saw him. She took in his sleepy brown eyes, sharp jaw, and thick eyebrows. He held a lot of the same innocence that Paul did, but his seemed more genuine, more pure, whereas Paul wore the innocence like a mask.

“I tend to busy here most nights. I’ll have to see what my schedule allows.”

Edie wished them well and politely excused herself from the dressing room. Since arriving in Liverpool, she hadn’t done much else other than work. During her first week here her cousin Charlie, by a strong suggestion from his mother, took Edie down to one of the local pubs. It wasn’t much fun though, as the bar was filled with Charlie’s shipyard mates.

The men were rough and handsy with their women, or at least ladies she suspected were their women. They had thick accents and smelled crude. Edie ended up keeping to herself, nestled in the corner of the bar feeling out of place, on edge, and homesick. Since then she has refused all Aunt Bea’s attempts to get her to tag along with Charlie.

But there was something exciting about the prospect of going to one of The Beatles shows. They seemed to have a hold on the Liverpool music scene at the moment, judging from the crowds here at the Majestic. Being a part of that energy would be something else. She would have to go alone of course, she didn’t really know anyone who would want to tag along. But at a concert that didn’t really matter, there was plenty of entertainment to divert your attention. How could you feel alone when you were sharing that same moment with countless others?

#fever #my writing #mine #George Harrison #george x reader #george harrison fanfiction #the beatles #the beatles fanfiction

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sanguinesprout · 7 years

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Therapy/Counselling Diary #7 (plus some small but heartening accomplishments and a few other little frustrations)

Hmm... hmm... it’s hard to say how I’m feeling right now, a strange cocktail of refreshing see sawing determination with a little kick of spicy proudness mingled in with the usual bitterness of overhanging doubt and the chill of all those nerve-wracking fears. Tastes pretty terrible, probably an acquired taste, but unique non the less. I’m no expert at all, but I’ll give it a generous 2.3 stars overall.

Last week was... it was not so bad actually (or maybe that’s just cause I’ve forgotten a lot of it already lol). I pushed myself to try harder to do some of the things my counsellor wanted me to do, what I myself wanted to do and le gasp, it happened..! I guess her hard talk really did stir something good in me after all. To put it real brief right here for now, I went out a lot more than I usually would (just mundane stuff like shopping and supermarkets tho) and I did the phone orders thing!!!1! Not once but multiple times over three days! Yaaay! But this week I need to continue it and even one up it... boooo-- uh, I mean go me!! @w@

There were times I totally copped out though and it feels bad man as usual, but I at least tried and I was able to prove some of my presumptions and preconceived thoughts mostly wrong! It’s something! It’s a big step, an accomplishment for me, don’t downplay it silly me! *pats self on back and proceeds to go in hiding again- no no!* This week is already feeling a little bleak but I just have to toast it up a little, let myself get cosy in this newer environment by just being there and exposing myself to it more. C’mon, I can do it! ^^

Okay onto the actual counselling session, which was yesterday. I literally only just made it on time, phew haha. I was a little anxious going up to the room cause there were some other people around in the corridor but w/e no1currs really and that goes for every other situation everywhere else. When you’re absorbed and focused in what you’re doing like other people are and not constantly looking around and assuming people give a damn (which they don’t) then it’s all good!

Um, anyways she did the typical ‘how are you/have you been’ and I gave her my weekly self scoring sheet but also I told her I forgot to give her that self esteem sheet and presented that too. I told her of my achievements last week and she congratulated me, told me I needed to pat myself on the back more and that she’s glad last week actually helped get me off my butt (she said she felt kinda bad about it too, but not so much now that she saw it had a good effect kind of thing too ^^). I agree last week did help, though I definitely wouldn’t wanna go through that again though lol.

We went over the cycle from before real briefly just as a reminder that actually doing things is the best way to break it and to progress and I have this homework sheet consisting of a table with columns for my preconceived thoughts of a situation (which I am to score with a percentage I believe it), my emotions and feelings that arise, and my uhh re-scores and feelings after actually facing and going through the situation. I haven’t actually looked at the sheet since yesterday so I totally winged the explanation just then lol but it’s about linking thoughts and emotions and that’s pretty much the gist of it. I’m kinda nervous about filling it in and I’m leaving it to the end of the week to do it, which is bad, but I’ll at least know what to put in it better by then hopefully.

We went over some of the things I wrote on the self esteem sheet, some of my examples for the unhelpful negative behaviours and we discussed them for a while but only got through a few. She said she’d go over the other ones next time, we agreed I should continue to do what I did last week but maybe try even harder. (There’s lots of small details in the discussions which I can’t remember properly or can’t place in the right time slot rn oh welp ><”)

Then the session ended there (15 mins early) idk why though. But now that I think about it, maybe there was nothing else left to say or not much plan or other things needed to discuss in particular for the last 3 sessions so maybe just try and stretch what content we have on hand to discuss kind of thing? Or maybe she needed to go somewhere like the toilet? lol who knows xD

I was feeling the session felt pretty short (my explanation also), but wasn’t all that bothered about it tbh, I’m not paying for it or anything and it gave me a little time to do other stuff before meeting with my sis. I plucked up the courage to go to a shop on my own again, I had a few things in mind that I actually wanted to look for which like the counsellor has said before will make it easier to motivate and immerse myself into doing things. I think I might write about this experience on the feelings-thoughts sheet.

So, I went in, a little uneasy at first, but not as much as if it would have been a place I’ve never stepped foot into before. I perused at my leisure and tried my hardest not to be overly conscious of other people around, which I noted to myself do actually going about their own stuff and don’t pay you any mind at all which lessened the nerves a lot. I found some things I wanted, and this was another relief as I always get that niggling feeling that if I leave without buying they’ll think I stole something (but looking around the internets randomly, I came to know that this is a super common feeling which is comforting and I shouldn’t worry about it too much because so what if I didn’t buy anything, I just couldn’t find anything I wanted and that is totally fine!).

Partway in the last leg of my perusing, my sis phoned me and told me to hurry up and all that stuff and it kinda made me feel real antsy. I continued looking though at a slightly faster pace but she ended up calling outside and told me to hurry up even more and was waiting for me outside so I cut my browsing short and hurried to pay and felt pretty down about it. When paying I queued up behind a group of guys and felt self-conscious but well, they no care really and I got over it and ignored the thought.

I went to the self serve till (the only kind open, so I wasn’t avoiding or anything) and proceeded to pay and I’m so glad I know how to use them as we use them most of the time my sis goes to the supermarket with me lol but I still was feeling pretty self-conscious and the ‘unexpected item in bagging area’ still gives me nerves and it happened twice to me but the assistant came over and fixed it straight away without me saying anything (which was a relief because I was feeling a little cowardly by then, but I would’ve been a little prouder of myself for actually asking).

I went with my sis to some other shops after that, I voiced that she was being quite mean on the phone and later she apologised, she was in a pretty bad mood in general and also the car park time wasn’t much and most of the bad feeling was dissolved. We then went to some other other shops with my mum in addition and I went off on my own to peruse which was nice though I couldn’t find anything I wanted, but it’s best not to waste monies on things I don’t need anyways. I got kind of sickly on the way home which wasn’t great but the general day was pretty alright.

There was somewhere else I wanted to go and me and my sis planned to go soon after but it was delayed and later I just kind of chickened out and took a nap instead :/ I was really tired and still sickly feeling though. I hope to get this sorted out this week still though, maybe I’ll tag along with my parents this time round, it’ll be okay! ^^

I also went to see a specialist doctor, I got a phone call for the appointment two days before the actual day (probably someone else cancelled) and I took it. I could’ve said no and waited even longer, but I didn’t, because health is important and should be dealt with asap! I wish I could bring myself to apply this to some of my other worries, but I’ll get there. Anyways it went alright, the typical general treatment route, but at least it’s something, now I’m waiting on my regular doc for the next steps.

The kind of funny thing is though (in reference to my last post or maybe the one before it), is that I have been recommended to take anti-depressants (BUT not for depression) they happen to help with migraines and oversensitivity which affects me all the time pretty much. A lot of medicines help with other conditions they were not primarily made for, I only realised this in the recent years lol. I’m a little wary and I’m hoping that it’ll help, maybe even kill two birds with one stone, but if it doesn’t then oh welp and onto the next thing they recommend. I want to get better every way I can and there’s no harm trying (except maybe side effects ugh) it’s just the stigma thing again, it’s... complicated .__. But it’ll be okay!

In terms of my own art and online dabblings, I actually spent two of the days I did phone orders doodling and editing stuff a little. I wasn’t really going to draw anything seriously but my non serious doodle started off pretty alright and I continued it and finished it, which I kind of felt proud of as usually I start things and never finish them because I get scared to mess it up or think it’s not good enough. It has its flaws of course, I’m such a nit picky person and I know I need to improve, but looking past these things, I really like what I did and am glad I persevered and completed it.

I also tried posting something online, not on here, but I actually did it for once at least! It was nothing amazing, in fact it was really really lame, just a scrawl from another time but I still like it and that’s all that matters, right? Right! I was really struggling over what to write in the descriptions (much like how I spend ages agonising over writing comments) and still keep feeling iffy about what I wrote but it’s actually all fine, so I should stop worrying about it! Hear that silly me? Don’t fret and don’t regret, it’s fine so keep going! :D

Some people (very few) even liked my picture and one person even commented some thumbs up emojis. It’s really nice of them ;w; I don’t think they were bots and I looked at their pages too. The person that commented has a page full of beautiful art and idk I just felt like omg ahhhh they’re so much more amazing then me and super intimidated and wasn’t sure what to do about the comment and still haven’t done anything and it’s been a few days .__.

They probably like loads of peoples stuff though, and also there’s no obligation to have to like their stuff back (though I have a feeling that’s probably why they liked my awful doodle in the first place, to draw attention to their own page, but I shouldn’t assume, that’s bad, maybe they really thought my doodle was okay and kindly wanted to encourage, who knows). I think maybe I’ll like the comment at least, I don’t want to be rude >< I’m just scared that if I do go and like their stuff, I’ll feel obligated to always do it kind of thing, I’m still just so scared of interacting with people (also this person doesn’t speak english it seems and language barriers are my death, but this person didn’t mind it, so uh uh wait I’m being such a baby again ;____;)

I’m seriously overthinking things way too much again!! I get this feeling when I think of people that may have taken their time to read my posts or even the few people that have liked a post or two. I’m seriously very very grateful and would hug you if I could but I don’t know what to do from then and it just keeps swirling and nagging me inside and I’m so sorry >< Overthinking and social awkwardness will surely be the death of me. I need to stop all the uncertainty and what ifs and silly assumptions and just do what I feel! Why is it so hard..? ;^;

I actually got so scared I didn’t post the next small doodle I wanted to, but I need to get over it and just get it done and continue and post the things I’ve really really been wanting to post for months. No one actually cares about all the silly things I think they do, I can’t read minds and I can’t go one thinking that I can. The same for just people in general irl. I was actually a little proud that I was so self-conscious out in public as much recently, that I noticed people are too busy in their own world and that I’m silly for thinking they would expend the brain energy to linger on me negatively. Another mantra sort of thing I’ve been thinking is ‘IDGAF (and no one else does)’ lolol for reals, but it seems to be pretty effective so imma keep it! :>

Losing motivation and becoming disheartened is so easy. I’m going to continue small and simple and build up from there in every aspect and it’ll get easier and I’m gonna keep my grip real tight on that motivation and determination and soak in all my accomplishments no matter how small or insignificant they seem and convert them into even more positive energy! Imma do things!! Imma do lots of things and not get mad at myself even if I don’t manage to do some of them! Baby steps is the way to go! c:

Like always I get a bit apprehensive when writing these or even thinking of doing so, but they are actually very useful! I can sift through and explore my thoughts better now and I can help re-motivate and re-direction myself with them and I even think my writing and expression in general has gotten better! It’s a good thing, it’s an achievement! Be happy silly self! ^^

Worry just makes the world seem all the more scary. Break the cycle, break the cycle, snap it to pieces, crush it into dust and let it fly away in the wind and never return! >< Keep going, reach higher, climb further (without forgetting to take rest stops in between and continue onwards with renewed vigour) past the sky and the stars, you can do it! Moar fancy fancy motivation!! x3

I guess I’ll stop here, I think I’ve got most of the stuff down and there’s stuff I wanna do now that I’ve pieced my motivation back together some ^^ When I go to my drafts to write, I see the to do/dream list I wrote last time and it reminds me of all the things I could do, it definitely needs to be tidied up but it’s nice seeing it! I’m pumped! :3

I hope things go well for myself and everyone out there, go go!

Have a great evening! C:

#therapy #avpd #anxiety #social anxiety #depression #thoughts #feelings #*pats self on back*#feels good man #keep going #break the cycle #don't give a damn about the irrational #do it all for yourself #never regret #no obligations #baby steps #try your best!#onwards to victory!

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aroundtheworldin18years · 5 years

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As a family we are not known for being on time when travelling, always last minute leaving and always late arriving! For our River Thames Cruise with Le Boat we chose to take Rosie (cocker spaniel) on her first holiday. This trip would include Rosie’s first ferry crossing with Stena Line on the Stena Line Superfast X from Dublin to Holyhead then return. Rosie is young and hyper, quite needy and definitely a nervy dog, so…should we take a hyper, needy, nervy dog on a ferry? More importantly, was taking her on holiday a good idea or a bad idea in the first place? Only one way to find out…do read on!

READ ALL ABOUT ROSIE’S ADVENTURE ON THE RIVER THAMES CRUISE

DOG ON A FERRY

Not wanting to stress Rosie or make her feel unwell in the car we knew that we’d have to leave home early, drive carefully and make frequent stops. When travelling with your dog on a ferry it’s a must to arrive at the ferry terminal early and with plenty of time spare before your sailing. This will allow your dog to get out of the car, have a walk around the ferry terminal and stretch their little legs before boarding. Also, and on the flip side of the coin; don’t arrive at the ferry terminal too late! Be mindful that the dog is going to be in the car, or the kennels; for a considerable length of time during the sailing.

Have I got something on my tongue?

CAR OR KENNEL?

When taking your dog on a ferry with Stena Line; you have two options. Your dog can either stay in the comfort of your own car, or stay in one of the dedicated kennels that are situated on the car deck. For us, the decision was easy and we chose to leave Rosie in the car. Rosie is happy in a crate in the boot of the car and it is a safe place for her to feel relaxed and comfortable. Normally Rosie is left with Nana and Granda when we travel and we’ve never left her in a boarding kennel before. With that in mind we felt that the onboard kennels would not have been appropriate for Rosie on this occasion.

Kennels for the canines

SWITCH OFF THE CAR ALARM

If you leave your pampered pooch in the car, there’s a couple of rules we think you should follow. Always remember to leave your windows partially open to allow for ventilation during the ferry crossing. If safety is your concern, use a window ventilation guard, we find the expandable type work best. A small amount of water is advisable depending on the sailing time; use a non-spill bowl or a non-drip water bottle with roll dropper. Oh yes, almost forgot…if your dog is in the car and the car has an alarm…don’t arm it! If you’re unable to disarm the car alarm, then you’ve two things to consider: do I really need to take pooch on this trip, and/or, am I happy to leave the car unlocked on the ferry? If the latter suggestion is what you opt for, remember to take any valuables on board with you.

I feel like a prisoner….heeeelp, or should that be yeeeelp?

WILL MY DOG FRET OR BE ANXIOUS?

That really depends on your dog, its nature, how calm he or she normally is and whether they’re used to travelling. .Whether you leave your dog in the car or use the Stena Line kennels, we would always recommend that you try to remain with your dog as long as possible before the sailing. You should also try to remain calm around them. Allow other guests to board first and ensure your dog is settled before securing the vehicle and making your way to the lounge. Also, try to be one of the first to return to the car deck upon arrival to eliminate any unnecessary stress for your dog as other guests return to their own cars. And a handful of sausage bites is always going to go down well.

Don’t say walls, say sausages

FOOD, WATER AND DOGGY BUSINESS

Food and water are important when taking your dog on a ferry. Both before, after and during (not so much during) the crossing. Our recommendation is to try and stick to your normal walking/feeding routine where possible. If you’ve an early morning or late evening ferry crossing, ensure your dog is fed and watered in plenty of time to digest their food and also do any necessary toilet duties before the crossing. Imagine returning to the car and there’s vomit or even worse, dog cack in the boot! And, you’ve got a 12 hour drive in the hot European sun to get to your destination…the smell…doesn’t bare thinking about does it? Eurgh!

The drinks are on me

WHAT TIME SHOULD I TRAVEL?

When travelling with your dog on a ferry it is important to consider what time of the day is best to travel. If you’re travelling in the summer time, you may wish to consider a night time crossing when the temperatures are considerably lower. If you do have to sail through the day when temperatures are at their hottest; ask crew for a shaded spot where there is also good airflow…windows…ventilation…we’ve covered that already!

Queuing is not optional, it’s compulsory

HAVE ESSENTIALS AT HAND

Remember to have all your ‘essentials’ at hand for when you’re taking your dog on a ferry. Your ‘essentials’ list may differ from ours. We always have the following essentials to hand in a LeanPac bag when travelling with Rosie;

lead (collar with id tag on dog, remove once secured in the crate)

water and food bowls

food and treats

the all important ‘poo’ bags

a towel, handy if it’s raining before or after your ferry crossing

wet wipes

If your dog is staying in the onboard kennels for the ferry crossing; give them their comfy bed, blankets and favourite toy. You could also consider wearing an old jumper travelling to the ferry then place it in the kennel with your dog so they have your scent. Please don’t leave raw hide chews in with your dog, or anything your dog could possibly choke on or strangle themselves with. Always remove your dogs collar once secured in the crate to avoid snagging which could cause injury to your pooch.

These aren’t the ‘bear necessities’ but they are the ‘doggy essentials.

PASSPORTS FOR YOUR POOCH

This is an area that may change in the future due to (dare I say it)…Brexit! If the UK leaves the EU without a deal, after 31 October 2019 the rules for travelling to EU countries with your pet will change. Travelling from Ireland or UK to mainland Europe, it is important that you have the necessary travel documents. You may never be asked to produce documentation when taking your dog on a ferry, but do you really want to take the risk? Obtaining a Pet Passport is straight forward and can be done with your Vet. A Pet Passport confirms that your dog has had all their necessary vaccinations. Your dog will also be required to have a rabies vaccination before a Pet Passport can be issued. Your dogs Pet Passport is valid for life (vaccines must be up to date, including a rabies booster every 3 years).

Sorry about the slobbers

IS THE HOLIDAY THE RIGHT THING FOR YOUR DOG?

Lastly, but most importantly, before thinking about taking your dog on a ferry crossing, please consider if your dogs time away with you will be enjoyable for them. Will the length of time in the car before, during and after the ferry crossing; be comfortable for them? At your destination; is the accommodation suitable for them? Will there be plenty of places to take them for walkies? Where will they stay if you are going to places that are not dog friendly? These are all factors to take into consideration before you make the decision to take your dog on holiday.

On the ‘paw’perty ladder at last

THE LOVE BOAT…NOT QUITE!

Rosie’s first journey on a ferry was for a boating holiday on the River Thames with Le Boat. We knew before travelling that Rosie wouldn’t be left alone for more than an hour. Thankfully there are lots of dog friendly restaurants, pubs and places along the River Thames. Little miss Rosie was calm on the Stena Line Superfast X ferry, and she absolutely loved being on the Crusader by Le Boat. And Rosie has since been back on a boat for our River Shannon Cruise with Emerald Star by Le Boat. In our honest opinion, you should definitely consider taking your dog on a ferry and on holiday with you if are able to. After all, they are part of the family!

READ ALL ABOUT ROSIE’S ADVENTURE ON THE RIVER SHANNON CRUISE

Rosie the canine captain

WOULD WE GO BACK?

Through the power of telepathy (not really) we’ve been able to establish that Rosie thoroughly enjoyed her ferry trip with Stena Line. Quote from Rosie “woof, yap, grrrr, woof-woof, snarl, pant, yelp, gruff” (translated: I was nervous about travelling on a ferry at first, but soon settled for the journey. But I was definitely glad to see my family at the end of the ferry crossing.

With a very special THANK YOU to:

Jillian Frew (Duffy Rafferty Communications Account Executive) – for organising our Stena Line Superfast X return ferry crossing with Rosie.

We are extremely grateful to you and have had a great experience working alongside Stena Line and Duffy Rafferty Communications on this collaboration. Until the next time…taisteal sábháilte!

LILY-BELLE SAYS (10)

I was so glad that we got to take Rosie on holiday with us and she behaved well considering it was her first holiday. Rosie loved standing on the upper deck watching the swans as they swam by.

MATILDA SAYS (4)

I wanted Rosie to go swimming in the sea but Daddy wouldn’t let her, he’s so mean.

Travel Itinerary

Date(s) of travel: 6th (outbound) + 13th (return) April 2019

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Information, currency and prices are correct at the time of publishing. Views, opinions and experiences are that of The Callaghan Posse and are correct at the time of publication. Photos, unless credited, are taken by The Callaghan Posse for use and distribution by Around The World In 18 Years. Images and content may not be used or copied (private or commercial) without obtaining prior permission.

[disclaimer: Stena Line Superfast X ferry crossing was gifted by Duffy Rafferty Communications. Gifted item(s) were provided in return for social media and blog coverage]

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TOP TIPS FOR TRAVELLING WITH A DOG ON A FERRY As a family we are not known for being on time when travelling, always last minute leaving and always late arriving!

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