fiddling w this face for agesssss :p

BNHA Chapter 301 Spoiler Thoughts: Pain, More Pain, Extra Pain, EVERYTHING HURTS

I had to wait until the summary for this chapter came out to get my thoughts across and holy shit, my dudes...  This chapter is so, so deep and adds a lot more to the Todoroki family than I thought possible.  I’m still thinking about all of it as I’m typing this.  But, writing is how I process things sometimes, so I hope this helps all of us:

The chapter starts off with a flashback to when Enji (I’m calling Endeavor by his real name here so long as we’re dealing with his family) proposing to marry Rei to Rei and her family.  Rei is aware of the whole “Quirk Marriage” thing, but she accepts the proposal much to her family’s delight.  What’s surprising here is that it’s implied that Enji expected Rei to say “No”.  I’m honestly kind of shocked here too.  

One, I thought because of the whole eugenics thing that Rei and her family would be taken aback by this.  Back in the Sports Fest. Arc, I believe Shoto implied the that Endeavor bought Rei’s hand in marriage with money (it’s been a LONG time, so please correct me on this if I’m wrong).  But they were actually ok with the idea of having Rei be married to a top hero like Endeavor.  Rei seemed more reluctant though the fact that she said “Yes” maybe implies that she had legitimate feelings of love for Enji before shit hit the fan.

Edit: Ok, the fan translations are out.  It’s said that Rei did this for the sake of her family.  I still think she at least started to have legit feelings of love for Enji at some point.

Two, Enji didn’t expect Rei to accept his proposal.  We all know that Enji’s intention was to have a kid that had a Quirk that possessed both fire and ice so that the kid could surpass All Might.  Maybe Enji was looking for other women with ice Quirks before Rei and all of them before her turned him down.  So when Rei accepted, Enji was shocked that someone agreed to what was basically his plan for the future.

The next page shows Enji and Rei on a walk in the park Rei looks at her favorite flowers and Enji asks if she likes them to which Rei says “yes”.  Enji comments on how strong yet fragile Rei is.  It’s such a small scene, but it tells the story so well visually.  I can’t explain it well here, but I think this is where Enji started to see Rei as more of a person to love than something that can help achieve his goal.  

Back to the present real quick, we go back to Rei confronting Enji.  She came to see him because things are not okay and they need to face their family’s tragedy head on.  At the same time, Dabi is reflecting on his life and doing his iconic monologuing about how he loved seeing Enji suffer.  He wants the rest of his family to see how he suffered too.  This further establishes how much Dabi wants to see his father be destroyed mentally.  He wants him to reap everything he sewed.  I’ll be damned if Dabi’s plan didn’t work.  Also, Dabi is shown crying blood again as the panel transitions to the Todoroki household with the blood tear seeping into the next panel.  God, I love Horikoshi’s panel structuring A+ stuff.

Back to the past, Enji stopped training little Touya.  His fire Quirk was getting stronger, but so was the ice part of his body.  Touya’s body was meant for the cold, but his fire Quirk counteracts that.  So, Touya’s ultimately harming himself.  This reveals to us that Enji didn’t really stop training Touya because he wasn’t the “perfect specimen” for his plan.  It was mainly because Enji cared about Touya enough that he didn’t want his son to harm himself anymore than he already has.  Enji abused his kids and wife, sure, but he wasn’t always a bad man.  He did love his family before something snapped.

Also, real quick, but there’s a panel that shows Touya’s hair getting progressively whiter.  Specifically the left side of his head.  He looks like the opposite of Shoto actually and I bet you money that that was done on purpose.  Symbolism, my friends.

The next panels shows little Touya and Fuyumi (AWWW 🤍) talking a bit.  Touya’s upset that their dad won’t train him anymore while Fuyumi just doesn’t want her brother to get hurt.  Touya says that girls wouldn’t understand (he’s a kid here, so I’ll let this slide).  It hurts to see how Touya misunderstand the situation here.  I think he ultimately wanted to have love and acceptance from his father via training to make Enji proud.  But training only caused Touya pain.  Pushing Touya away for his own safety ended up making things worse.

I actually can’t describe what happens next (I've seen the panel, but it hasn’t been translated fully yet), but it has something to do with Rei trying to convince Enji not to do something in particular because it would be too cruel.  Touya continued to train alone and he kept getting scars on his skin every day because his ambitions are just as strong as Enji’s.  He didn’t know when to give up.  In the end, Enji knew that Touya couldn’t surpass All Might and he tried to get Touya to give up his ambitions so that he would stop hurting himself.  I think this is where Enji’s drive to have a kid to surpass All Might started to take over his love for his family.  I want to comment more on this part, but I think I’ll have to wait until the full chapter comes out.  I’ll add an edit when I read it.  It’s a painful, sad page regardless and I want to cry 😢.

Edit: Ok, I’ve read the translations for this page and it’s still not entirely clear what “cruel idea” Rei and Enji are talking about here.  The best I can take I can think from this is that Enji did think that having more kids would solve the problem; it would help Touya give up the idea of surpassing All Might.  The panels get darker and darker too, which shows how dark all this has become.  

Next, Natsuo is born and he was so ADORABLE!!! 💙  Fuyumi looked so happy to have a little brother ❤️  But, Touya looks devastated; like he’s been replaced again.  My heart hurts so bad for this kid.  All he wanted was his father’s attention, but Enji seemed to have moved on from him and had more kids instead.  Almost like having more kids would solve the problem... ugh...

As time goes on, Enji gets angrier at All Might’s success (btw, seeing All Might drawn in his buff form again makes me nostalgic) and Rei becomes more fearful.  The summary states that Rei stopped “looking” at Enji at some point.  I think this is the point where Enji drive to create a perfect child completely took over his life and his family’s lives.  Even so, I think we need an explanation of when exactly Enji snapped and changed into the abusive man we all knew and how that exactly came to be.  We got hints in this chapter, but I think we need a full explanation.

AND SHOTO WAS BORN HE WAS BABY 💙🥺😭 Crying into the world he came into like most newborns do.  I want to love him and take care of him 💙💙💙 Look, Shoto’s my favorite character in the series and we need some good vibes in this depressing chapter, so please let me have this.

But, my god.  The faces on Enji, Rei, and Touya are haunting.  I honestly can’t really describe it.  It’s just so unsettling.  Enji looks like he’s glad he’s finally “created” the perfect child, Rei looks exhausted, and Touya is even more devastated than before.  The panel lines are all distorted too which drives the mood home.

Touya continues to train on his own to prove himself to his father.  He’s burning himself more and he looks like he’s loosing his mind.  I’m not exaggerating; Touya actually looks like he’s going crazy.  Enji is tying to convince Touya that they’re more to the world than being a hero like playing with his siblings and making friends at school.  But, Touya can’t because, as he says, “I’m your son”.  Despite Enji probably focusing primarily on getting ready to train Shoto at this point, he still cared enough about Touya to where he wanted him to have a life outside of heroism.  Though that could also be because, again, he’s turned his focus on Shoto instead (this family is a mess).  And Touya being so driven to have his father pay attention to him is heartbreaking.  No kid should have to go through this.

And then he activates his Quirk to attack baby Shoto.  Lil’ Fuyumi’s protecting Lil’ Natsuo and Rei is holding onto Lil’ Shoto 😭.  Rei wants to help cool him down with her Quirk, but Touya “fire” Enji lit can’t be put out.  Touya’s too far gone.  He even stops calling Enji “father”; he says “look at me, Endeavor” instead.  Everything about this makes me sad, man.  Touya’s love for his father turned into what he thought was abandonment, which turned into mad jealousy for his baby brother.  Though Enji did light Touya’s fire, it was Touya himself who ultimately drove himself insane.  Touya helped create Dabi, it wasn’t all Enji Todoroki’s doing.

And finally, the flashback ends with Rei stating that Enji isn’t the only who’s suffered, but he’s also not the only one who didn’t look at Touya.  This implies that Rei shares the blame for letting Touya turn into Dabi.  I do wonder what Rei didn’t do that helped Touya’s transformation.  I doubt she neglected him entirely, but maybe she wasn’t paying attention to him as much because of her other kids and her declining mental state. I can’t comment on this very much with the lack of details, but i do hope things get answered soon.

Edit: I’ve thought about this a bit more.  Rei was/is a good mother and she’s a badass in her own right.  She never meant to harm her kids.  But, based on that dark panel before about Enji thinking of a way to get Touya to give up the idea of being  a hero, Rei did agree to Enji’s plan in the end.  She decided to have more kids with him until they got the perfect child in Shoto.  Why did she agree, we don’t know.  That detail isn’t there just yet.  I bet we’ll get it in Pt. 2.  Again, Rei isn’t a bad person, but she did play a part in Touya’s downfall.  Which, of course, makes things all the more sad. 

Lastly, it’s stated that Rei came from a prestigious and noble family called Himura.  It’s a small detail, but it’s shows that Shoto and his siblings basically came from royalty.  Ha, Shoto really is a prince 👑!  It would explain those damn good Todoroki genes 😳😍.  Oh, and the kanji for “Hi” in Himura means icicle, ice, hail, freeze, etc. so Horikoshi’s playing with names again.  

Quick Edit: Turns out this part with Rei’s maiden name is actually at the VERY BEGINNING of the chapter LOL.  Either the image leaks got scrambled or the summary found this panel last.  Whoops...

Hoo boy, I think that’s it.  Really heavy chapter full of more layers and details about the Todoroki family that we didn’t get before.  This is honestly one of the best storylines in the series and I’m so glad to see it come back to the forefront again.  Horikoshi has handled this particular story so, so damn well I can’t help but be impressed.  I think, ultimately, the Todoroki family fell apart and became more and more tragic over time.  Amazingly, it wasn’t entirely Enji’s fault like we originally thought.  Yes, he was a big reason as to why everything happened the way it did.  His redemption does not excuse his years of abuse and neglect towards Shoto, Rei, and Touya especially.  But, Touya and maybe even Rei had a part in this.  I hope whatever Rei did or didn’t do isn’t so bad that we immediately put her into a bad light.  I hope it boils down to “she’s human”.  Though, Touya did ultimately drive himself to insanity.  He didn’t accept his father’s suggestion to stop training.  He only pushed himself further to the point of jealousy.  God, he tried to kill baby Shoto at one point.  We can dissect this family’s story for months and still find something new.  This chapter was called “Mischief of Fire - Part 1″ which means we’re definitely getting more.  I’m going to sit here and process all this in the meantime.  Anyone got any ice cream to go with my tears and pain from BNHA angst?