#finding out that he doesn't have any recorded content on chongyun at all and having much less motivation to keep watching his playthrough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

honeybeanboo · 3 years

Text

genshin boys with eating disorders pt. 3

CHARACTERS:

albedo

bennett

chongyun

diluc

kazuha

kaeya

razor

childe

venti ✔

xiao ✔

xingqiu ✔

zhongli ✔

MAJOR TW //

eating disorders

┅ venti ┅

❂ restricting and purging eating disorder

❂ started + time had: during the stormterror crisis - around a year

❂ who knows: traveler

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of venti's ed is discontent and loneliness

it all started with Signora- and the gnosis, oh his gnosis was what kept it all together, kept him together,,, he remembers watching humans as the breeze and wishing he could be in that body

and when he was finally in that body, he loved it

venti cherishes the human experience, he loves eating and he loves endulging in the human treats and experiences! he never understood why so many women around him, and to be fair a couple of men were so concerned about "gaining weight"

it never made sense to him? he could eat as much as he wanted and keep the same petite young look- until his gnosis was gone

he didn't notice for a while, until a little girl saw him walking by and looked confused. "that doesn't look like the statue? the statue is smaller...?" and it stuck in his head, it wouldn't leave

diluc wondered where he had done when he didn't show up at the tavern, wondered why he had stopped eating much, wondered where he went when he finally came back and ate to his heart's content and then left abruptly

he hates this human body now, he hates how it rolls and shakes - venti pinches it and frowns at how quickly it seems to go from boylike god to big and unwanted -- and it escalates quickly, he cuts off the bar, making the excuse that he wanted to drink less, avoids food and any time anyone offers him food, he smiles brightly and says he had a big meal just before :(

he's alone - alone in the bathroom throwing up the alcohol and dinners, alone on the cliffs, running up and down with tears on his face because only now does he realize how lazy it is to drift on the wind instead of dashing on the ground, he's alone in the Windrise tree- hands bruised and bloody from climbing up through the branches

all the places he thought were peaceful and comforting are now tainted with his trapping thoughts

- traveler heard him, they wouldn't leave his side after the angel's share and he resented that, he felt his panic growing and growing and before he knew it he was shaking,,, crying around the toilet with blood on the seat from his raw throat -- and so the traveler knew

┅ venti ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: almost out of nowhere, around 5 years

❂ who knows: traveler suspects

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xiao's ed is self-hatred and bargaining

he doesn't remember when it started, he only remembers how good it felt to starve, how satisfying it is to kill enemies with an empty stomach- he's quiet and likes it that way

nobody ever knows because he just teleports away, disappears within seconds if anyone gives him so much as a judgmental glance

it's rewarding, almost as much as ridding liyue of his karma, because it's punishment, redemption, right? cleaning both inside and out, depriving himself of food like the nation was reprived,,, it's a balance, right?

xiao travels liyue, visiting caves, stuck in the endless cycle of self-revenge, but he can't die so it doesn't really matter to him

he deserves the pain doesn't he?

since he never really befriended people, it never occurred to him that it could hurt someone else, he never stopped to think how to hide this from a friend- he didn't have a problem, it was just something to rid himself of the unbearable hatred and guilt... so why did terror ignite in his chest at the thought of the traveler knowing

so he does everything and anything to keep them from finding out :( leaving in the middle of conversations, making excuses, turning down gifts, and it hurts his heart more than he thought it would, seeing their smile slowly turn into a sad frown

- he sees it as making himself suffer, a good trade for what he's done, the lives he's taken- bargaining with his own mind

- he doesn't realize he's addicted to the way it feels until he's forced to eat and immediately retreats for days, feeling immense hatred yet again

- he starts to let his guard and demeanor down around the traveler, his only real friend besides zhongli and even that is a stretch

┅ xingqiu ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder (w/orthorexic tendencies)

❂ started + time had: when he saw a girl writing down her cals in a notebook, around 4 months

❂ who knows: no one

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of xingqiu's ed is secrecy and recording

it's a bunch of different things that got xingqiu's disorder started, from building pressure from his family, to what he wanted to do, to just his overall bookwormy nature, it seems like a recipe for disaster

and sadly it was, although the last push was by coincidence

a small glance in the library and he was pulled toward this girl, quite thin, writing down something in her notebook and another glance told him that it was meals, portions, nutritional details and he was immediately hooked

it spiraled badly from there, starting small with markings of eating a meal every time he would have it, then starting to notice other people not doing the same, the boy began to feel above them, since he could be precise and small, why couldn't they?

and so he did more, he made charts, he kept a daily track of each small meal, numbers filling up a navy bound journal and his brain every day, it seemed fine, he thought it would be good for his future as well since he wanted to be a hero, wanted to swing his sword with ease

xingqiu is already small so this only grows more concerning to random passerby who whisper to each other, "he's smaller than i remember"

- he carries his notebook everywhere, calling it his poetry archive and when chongyun asks, he doesn't even falter, reciting a poem from thin air

- he's hard on himself when he passes a certain number:(

- recently, he constantly feels dizzy, which he records down as a new symptom of his "mental strength"

┅ zhongli ┅

❂ restrictive eating disorder

❂ started + time had: when he gave away his gnosis, around 8 months

❂ who knows: childe wonders but doesn't think much

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

the nature of zhongli's ed is denial and pride

the geo archon wouldn't seem like the kind of person to deny himself anything right? considering he's also Morax, but when he handed his gnosis over, the man might have dove into human living a little too quickly

hunger and poverty was the main thing that he wanted to experience but it backfired

hunger was part of being human right? and that was what he wanted, so he starved, taking note of how it felt, how his mortal body reacted and he enjoyed it, it felt cleansing

and so he continued, increasing the length of his fasts and resenting the days where he would eat normally, or "ate like a god" as he liked to call it

it's quite convenient when he runs out of mora because there's his excuse easily grasped and childe just laughs it off

he doesn't even realize that this isn't normal, for being so smart, the man doesn't seem to observe how everyone else around him ate-- or maybe he does and simply chooses to fast anyway :(

- admitting it would mean he would have to give up this lifestyle he had begun to become accustomed to

-------------------------

part three! and final part is done hehe

#genshin #genshined #genshineating #eating #cw disordered eating #tw ed thoughts #tw ed #tw eating disoder #eating disorder #tw eating disorders #genshinimpact #venti #xiao #xingqiu #zhongli

42 notes · View notes