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caws5749 · 4 years

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Dazed and Confused, pt. 23-The Quarantine Series

A/N: I KNOW HOW TO USE WORDS AGAIN TODAY WOOOOOO, and apparently i need soft shit bc this got soft. ((also the black widow makeup collection has me wrecked. ))

Promoting: Netflix Party tomorrow evening, watching Infinity War! I’ll reblog the post in a little bit with some more info!

The Quarantine Series Masterlist

The training room is ready.

You kept hearing those words over and over in your head as you headed towards the new facility, specially designed for you. Nat walked with you, her hand on your back. Honestly, you were fairly certain that if she wasn’t gently pushing your forwards, you’d never end up there.

You’d finally reached the door to the room, which was currently open. Once you started using your powers, no one else would be in. If you decided to let anyone watch, they’d be up in the observation deck, a little room off to the side and up a flight of stairs.

Nat followed you into the room, where Tony was waiting to explain the design aspects to you.

“Okay, so the floor has drains everywhere. Depending on how much water they’re flooded with, it may not all drain instantaneously,” Tony explained, his eyes carefully shifting over to you. You nodded, trying to take in what he said while also keeping calm.

“Everything in here is completely waterproof. The wall over there, if you push on that little spot, it’ll open up a section of cold water bottles. Bruce and I, we think that the more you use your powers, the more it takes away from your hydration level, and you definitely don’t want to get dehydrated.”

All you could do was nod.

“Alright, I think that probably does it, so... good luck, Y/N. You’ll be fine.”

Tony left and you stood, staring blankly around the room. The only thing keeping you semi-grounded was Natasha taking your hand. Her other hand gently pulled your chin towards her.

“You’re going to be fine, Y/N. We’re not going to let anything happen to you, I won’t let anything happen to you,” she soothed.

“Okay,” you whispered, eyes wide and filled with fear. There was nothing that anyone could do to calm you.

“Do you want me to watch from the observation deck?”

Honestly, you weren’t sure. Did you want anyone watching? The team had wanted to, but, they ultimately had left the decision to you. You’d refused to let them watch, at least for the first practice. But, did you want Natasha to watch? It wasn’t a question of safety- JARVIS would alert someone if you were hurt or in danger.

“No.”

You weren’t sure why you’d said no, but you did. Natasha gave your hand a brief squeeze and sent a small smile your way, and then she left, closing the door.

You turned in every direction, alone in the completely white room. You couldn’t decide if you were about to panic or if you felt okay now that it was just you and your powers.

After a minute, you calmed enough to decide to try and summon your newfound abilities. You took a deep breath and then held out your hands in front of you. You weren’t even sure if you’d be able to send it out of your hands, but, you were going to try.

The second you tried to summon them, you felt the familiar tingle creep in. Instead of trying to stop it, as you had done before, you let it grow. You felt it manifest in nearly every inch of your body, and then you focused on sending the energy into your hands. You couldn’t help but smile when you felt your efforts working.

You pushed yourself further, letting the power surge inside of you, concentrating on your hands, before water was suddenly shooting out of them.

You were knocked off balance by the force of it, and you held your hand out to catch yourself. With power still surging throughout you, water suddenly shot out of your one hand, the force of it propelling you upward to standing once again.

You stood, breathing heavily, wondering what on earth had just happened. You hadn’t even meant to do that, it had just been instinct.

And then you started to feel a bit dizzy. Your mouth had gone dry, and you realized you probably weren’t very hydrated. You hadn’t had really anything to drink all day, and that probably wasn’t going to bode well with your practicing.

You slowly made your way over to the wall where Tony had said there would be water. You grabbed a fresh bottle and chugged it in entirety.

You felt completely refreshed and almost.. eager to continue practicing.

Before you knew it, an hour had gone by, and you’d gone through two more bottles of water. And it had gone well. When you were trying to use them, they came almost effortlessly, and it was like an instinct. Obviously, you weren’t perfect at controlling them and getting them to do what you wanted all the time, but you’d learned some things. And you were curious as to what else you could do. But, you’d find out in time.

For now, it was time to call it a day, and go find Natasha for that Netflix session.

You found her in the living room, reading a book and munching on some snacks. She looked up at your presence.

“Y/N, you’re soaked,” she observed, frowning. You looked down at your clothes and your eyes widened. You hadn’t even noticed.

“Oh.”

“And you’re shivering.”

Wow, the adrenaline must have been really pumping through your veins for you to not notice any of that.

“I’ll go take a warm shower,” you replied. “Do you want to watch Netflix after?”

“Sure, that sounds great. Now, go, get warm and dry. And then I want to hear about how training went.”

You nodded, a smile overtaking your face as you remembered what you’d done.

“That good?”

“Yeah.. it was good. Really good.”

++++++

Once you were dry and warm in cozy pajamas, you wandered back out to the living room, where Nat was no longer. You moved to the kitchen, finding her cooking something at the stove.

“What are you making?” You asked curiously, coming to stand next to her and peering into the pot.

“Vegetable soup.”

“Mmmmm.”

“You want some, moy serdtse?” Natasha asked quietly, bumping her hip lightly into yours. You turned to fully face her, your arms finding their way around her waist. You pressed soft kisses to her neck, happy when she made a soft noise.

“Yes, I’d love some,” you murmured, nipping a bit at her skin.

“Hey!” She laughed lightly. “Stop that, I need to focus on cooking.”

“Are you saying I’m good at distracting you?”

“I’m saying I need to cook,” Nat answered, though there was a smile on her face.

“So tell me about training,” she continued, stirring the ingredients in the pot. You rested your head on her shoulder as you told her everything that had happened.

“You’re handling all of this so well, Y/N. I’m really proud of you,” Natasha stated once you’d finished your recap.

“Thanks, baby. I’m feeling good, I guess. I want to keep working on things so that I can be a good asset to the team.”

“You’re already a good asset to the team.”

You hummed.

“I love you,” you said for the second time ever. Somehow, you knew that saying it to her would never get old.

“I love you,” Natasha whispered, pausing her cooking to give your lips a quick peck.

“I should probably update the team on training,” you sighed. She nodded.

“At least tell Steve for right now. Go, he’s in the conference room, and by the time you get back, everything will be ready and we can be lazy for the rest of the day.”

++++++

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angelsanarchy · 7 years

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Hi, I had a fic prompt of Lukas between hiding who he is/his relationship with Philip to be able to compete in pro motocross... obviously deciding not to because he hid their relationship for so long before. And of course he chooses Philip because he's his new dream? And he basically goes on to talk about how Philip makes him feel/how madly, truly, deeply in love he is with him..... I'm giving myself so many feels just suggesting it 💗💗

Okay this got away from me a bit so I’m sorry it’s a bit long. I hope you enjoy it!

Lukas kept ringing his hands out. It was his first competition back and he really needed to get sponsored today or he’d miss his shot.

“Just relax. You’re going to do great. You’ve worked your ass off to get better and your jumps have gotten even better than before you were shot.” Philip gripped Lukas’ hands and rubbed them between his own.

“I know I just…what if I don’t get a sponsor today? What if I carry too much baggage you know?” Lukas worried and Philip smiled at him.

“Witnessing a murder, getting kidnapped and shot are kind of out of your control. I don’t think anyone can really hold that against you.” Philip reminds him. Lukas ducks his head so he doesn’t see him smile.

“You’re going to take pictures right?” Lukas moved into his space and Philip held up his camera.

“Helen and Gabe got me a new one for my birthday. It takes pictures within a video so I’ll have both. I’ll try not to be the cheering boyfriend in the background.” Philip teased making Lukas laugh. He kissed Philip’s forehead and hugged him.

“Thanks for being here.” Lukas said but before Philip could respond, a loud banging on the door of the trailer made Lukas jump away from him.

“You’re up Waldenbeck. Let’s hit it.” Lukas grabbed his helmet and Philip followed him out of the trailer, camera in hand as he walked over towards the stands. Lukas was out…to Helen, Gabe, Rose and his dad but they’d decided that for now, it’s best it stays between just them. Rose had sort of adopted Philip into their friend group to make things less weird for everyone. Told their friends, Philip saved Lukas’ life so that kind of greased some wheels but Philip didn’t seem to care. He hadn’t cared what people thought of him, only what Lukas thought.

Lukas jumped on his bike and looked focused on, less nervous and Philip looked for some good places to get some shots so he could post the race on Lukas’ channel afterwards. The starting siren went off and Lukas took off down the ramp to start on his first set of hills getting impressive air and doing his first set of tricks.

Lukas took off, gripping the bike tightly between his thighs focusing on nothing but the ground beneath him. Philip followed his bike careful not to shake the camera so much whispering encouragements between gritted teeth and remembering to take shots whenever he caught air or did an impressive maneuver with his feet leaving the bike.

“Come on Lukas. You got this!” Philip breathed hearing cheers growing louder behind him. Lukas had let go of the bike mid air and pulled it back under himself with little effort making people go nuts. It was like he never left. The announcer praising him and calling him the “comeback kid” quite a few times. Lukas had one final big jump and Philip held his breath knowing he was going to try the backflip. He’d practiced it a few times but only landed it once. He hit the jump and hesitated, throwing the bike to the side before pulling it back underneath of him to land and skid to a stop.

“YEAH! WOOOOOO! LUKAS!!” Philip heard Helen and Gabe cheering behind him in the stands with Bo. Lukas fist pumped the air and everyone got to their feet to cheer him on. Philip ran around to see them interviewing Lukas who looked like he couldn’t smile any bigger.

“Lukas you’ve been out of the circuit for a month and after everything that’s happened, how are you feeling after such an amazing run?” The man held the mic up to Lukas’ mouth and he laughed.

“Oh man it’s unbelievable. I can’t describe it. It feels good to be back again. It feels like I never left.” Lukas said wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“You without a doubt had the best run today out of everyone here so far and I know you’ve been looking for some sponsorship’s, I think it’s safe to say they’ll be knocking your door down after this one.” Lukas shook his head.

“You know what, I’m just a regular guy out here doing something he loves. I’m not trying to focus on any of the stuff I went through. I’m moving past it and if sponsors can handle that then I’ll be happy to help them make some money.” Lukas had his cocky nature back and it made Philip smile proudly.

“Well I’ll let you go, I know there are about 30 girls over there waiting to ring your bell so congratulations!” Lukas glanced over at Philip and smiled awkwardly as he headed off to his trailer. Philip walked in as he was pulling his shirt over his head and Lukas pulled it back down.

“You did AMAZING! I’m so freaking proud of you!” Philip threw his arms around Lukas and he pulled away slightly when Philip went to kiss him.

“You okay?” Philip asked making Lukas look nervous.

“I just…maybe we shouldn’t be too close when we’re here. I mean we’d decided that it was okay to just keep this under wraps right? Maybe we should keep it off the track too.” Lukas said hoping Philip wouldn’t lost his shit but Philip stepped back.

“Yeah…I mean I just…you aren’t on the track right now, we’re in the trailer but that’s fine. I’m still really proud of you.” Lukas frowned reaching out to rub Philip’s hand that rested on the wooden bench inside the trailer.

“I kept hearing your voice in my head and I felt calm…like no matter how I did, it’d be okay. Thank you for being here.” Lukas wanted to kiss him so bad but he knew he had to get these sponsors if he wanted to get into the pro circuit by the summer.

“You know I’ll always be here for you.” Philip reassured him. That’s how it always was. Lukas could feel like his whole world was falling apart but Philip had a way of bringing him back, making him feel safe. The fall continued with Lukas winning more and more competitions and turning a lot of sponsorship heads. The footage that Philip was getting was also a huge bonus for turning pro circuit heads as well. Philip went wherever Lukas went. Sometimes Gabe and Helen would make the drive, other times Bo would allow Philip to go with them. Him and Philip had spent a lot of time together traveling for Lukas and getting to know one another. Gabe thought it was a great idea and the more Bo got to know him, the more comfortable Lukas was holding Philip’s hand when they were on the road or kissing Philip good night. But if they weren’t on the road, Lukas treated Philip like his friend.

Philip hoped it wouldn’t always be like this but he would never force Lukas to do anything. Watching girls hanging off of him drove him nuts. Lukas never gave into them obviously but it still bothered Philip. Lukas didn’t get it though. He constantly told him that he didn’t do anything, he was just being polite. Philip continued to cheer him on and film his runs. Take cards from sponsors wanting a meeting and making sure he was everything a supportive boyfriend should be.

“Hey son, we’ve got that meeting tomorrow with three different sponsors so you’ll need to get some rest tonight.” Bo said from front of the trailer as Lukas came out from the back wearing fresh, clean clothes.

“I won’t be out late. Some of the other guys want to hang out and tell me about some of the sponsors. You know, try and sway me to the dark side.” Bo looked at him confused.

“Are you taking Philip with you?” He asked but Lukas fixed his jacket.

“No he said he wasn’t feeling well. He’s out taking some pictures of the course. I figured he could turn in early and be ready for tomorrow’s tournament.” Lukas had reached for the door but Bo shook his head.

“If you aren’t careful, you’re going to lose him.” Lukas stopped and laughed.

“He’s a big boy dad, plus it’s not even that dark. He’ll find his way back just fine.” Lukas opened the door and turned around to wave. Bo waited up for Philip to come in and he had his eyes on his camera.

“I got some pretty nice photos of the sunset if you want to see.” Philip smiled and Bo chuckled.

“Sure. Let’s see what you got.” Philip looked surprised but quickly realized Lukas wasn’t in the trailer. He frowned and Bo put his hand on his shoulder.

“I actually think I’m just going to get some sleep. You’re welcome to look through them though. Good night.” Philip took his sleeping bag and climbed on top of the trailer. He’d liked sleeping up there now that it was warm out. The stars reminded him of Tivoli. He’d considered leaving twice but he couldn’t take this from Lukas. This was his dream. He heard him open the door and get into the trailer before climbing the ladder a few moments later.

“Hey, dad’s asleep. Did you want to come down here and sleep in my room?” Lukas asked but Philip didn’t move.

“No I’m fine here. How did it go with the other guys?” Lukas finished climbing the ladder and sat down next to Philip looking down at him.

“It was alright. They keep trying to steer me in the direction of which team pulls the best chicks like that matters.” Lukas laughed and Philip kept his eyes on the sky.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back inside with me? I promise not to make you too warm.” Lukas pushed Philip’s hair out of his face and he turned his head away from his touch.

“No I think I want to stay out here tonight. It reminds me of being back home. I miss it there. Everything seemed…easier there. I never thought I’d get homesick of Tivoli.” Philip sighed making Lukas worry.

“Well..I mean did you want to go back?” Lukas asked hoping the answer was no but he didn’t want to hold Philip hostage.

“Tomorrow is a big day, you should really be getting some sleep.” Philip tried to change the subject but Lukas clicked his tongue to his teeth.

“Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” Lukas laid down on his elbow putting one arm over Philip’s waist pulling him closer.

“Someone might see us-” Lukas knew exactly why Philip was upset.

“You said you were okay with this. I thought…I thought we were good.” Philip finally looked at Lukas and had tears in his eyes.

“I know. It’s fine. We can do whatever you want.” Lukas put his hand on Philip’s face.

“Philip…please.” Lukas hated seeing him like this.

“Lukas, I’m trying really hard right now okay so please don’t ask anymore of me. This is your dream. I’m here and I’m watching you live your dream, capturing every single moment on film and every part of my body screams for you when people start cheering for you. All I want to do is run to you and kiss you but I…I can’t. I miss the barn. I miss being able to put my arms around you. I miss going to the track we built and taking stupid videos together. I miss laying in my bed just watching you sleep but here…I can’t do that. I’m not apart of this dream.” Philip wiped the tears off his face and put his hands over his eyes when Lukas looked away to blink his own tears away.

“I’m sorry. I know how big tomorrow is. I shouldn’t have dumped all this on you. Come on, let’s go to bed.” Philip slid towards the ladder and shuffled down quickly not waiting for him. Bo nodded at him and Philip shook his head ready to apologize.

“Don’t apologize son. He needed to hear it.” Philip gaped a bit but Bo touched his shoulder again.

“Most of us are lucky to find love once in a life time. My boy gets his hard head from me so for that I’m sorry but you’re good for him. He just needs to start being good for you too or for your own sake you’ll have to let him go.” Bo said sadly just as Lukas walked into the door looking thrown.

“Goodnight boys.” He went back to his room and pulled the door shut. Philip slid into his bed and Lukas slid in behind him spooning up close to hold him tightly. They didn’t say anything, just held onto one another tightly until they passed out.

The next morning, Lukas sat through his meetings listening to all the sponsors had to offer and feeling a million miles away. The traveling and the paychecks sounded amazing. The gear and the exposure all sounded like a bonus but he knew that if he took these offers, he might never get to go back to the barn with Philip.

“Son, you ready for this?” Bo snapped Lukas back to his bike and he knew he was just about up.

“Where’s Philip?” Lukas asked and Bo pointed to the booth.

“One of the sponsors gave him a press badge to take better footage.” Lukas saw Philip messing with the settings on his camera and couldn’t help but stare.

“You can be a motocross star and a good boyfriend, son. It is possible but that kind of love you can only find with a person, not a sport.” They called Lukas’ name on the speaker and Philip looked over at him giving him a smile and mouthing “Good Luck” at him. Lukas smiled and looked over at his dad.

“I’m with you no matter what kid.” Bo reassured him as he pushed his bike to the start. Lukas started up his bike and shoved his helmet on thinking about practicing with Philip back home. He started his run and smiled thinking of all the tricks that made Philip’s eyes go wide with amazement. He kicked up dirt and clicked his heels together making people cheer. He saw the final jump coming up and he finally had enough confidence to try the backflip which he felt in his chest as he pulled the back with him through the rotation and landed perfectly hearing an applause so loud, he couldn’t hear the announcers. People swarmed Lukas as he parked his bike but he pushed through all of them to get to Philip who was jumping up and down with excitement.

“You did it! That was so awesome! I got it on film and-” Lukas stopped Philip ranting with his lips not caring what anyone around him said because all he wanted to do was kiss his boyfriend. Philip pulled away wide eyed and confused.

“Lukas...” He breathed.

“You’re my dream. This...this used to be what I dreamed about but you...this means nothing if I can’t have you too. I’ll walk away today if it means I lose you. I love you.” Lukas kisses him again and this time Philip gripped his shirt tightly in his fist kissing him with everything he had. Bo finally had to pull them apart so Lukas could accept his winnings and the announcer put his mic in his face again.

“That backflip was the most savage thing we’ve seen from you in a long time Lukas and after your 6th consecutive win, how are you feeling?” Lukas looked over at Philip who was smiling ear to ear.

“Man I wish I could explain to you how free I feel. I’ve got another win under my belt, a trick I feel like I could pull off in my sleep and a boyfriend who I love more than anything. I’m on top of the world.” Philip blushed and his dad smiled at him putting his arm around Philip.

“I guess you’re kind of out now. That’s pretty crazy. You could very well be the first ever openly gay motocross star.” Lukas shook his head.

“I don’t want to go into this as some poster boy. It’s taken me a really long time to accept myself and actually be fearless enough to stand here saying I have a boyfriend but he deserves to be praised. He’s why I’m here. If I get sponsored, I won’t be using my sexuality to get anyone a paycheck. I want to be Lukas Waldenbeck, motocross star who just happens to be gay.” Everyone cheered louder and Lukas left the podium getting hand shakes from the other riders and words of admiration, some even gave him short hugs with respect as he reached Philip. Philip wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply.

“I am so proud of you and I love you so much.” Philip felt his face hurting from how hard he was smiling.

“Wherever you are is where my home is.” Lukas put his hand on Philip’s chest and Philip closed his eyes, resting his forehead against Lukas’. They stood there for a moment until someone cleared their throat.

“Lukas Waldenbeck, I’m Greg Warner from EXT Motors. We would like to talk to you about a sponsorship.” Lukas had wanted to be sponsored by EXT Motors since he started racing.

“And before you give me the third degree, we want you strictly for your abilities and dedication. You’re a racer, what you do in your home life is your business, not the press or circuit. You’re brave and charismatic. I think you’ll represent the brand proudly.” Lukas looked over at Philip and he shook his head urging him to take it. Lukas knew that this was jut the beginning for the both of them and he was excited to truly start a new life.

“So what do you say?”

#xourbeautifulimperfectionsx #asks #Philkas #Eyewitness fic #prompt #kind of a cliffhanger ending but this is so long I had to end it

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