forcing myself to work on angles ft. two old men arguing

The stupidest thing I’m going through, and it’s not the first time i do it, I just... don’t know what I want to make out of myself? Comics? Yeah, sure, cool. I like making up stories. But i kind of not creative enough? Digital illustrations, gamedev? Currently started working here, don’t have a slightest idea what I am doing, trying my best, but kind of all over the place?

I’m scared, I’m always tired and stressed and have no idea where to go and how to improve while other artists i tend to look up to just getting better, and.. do I want to be as good as them? All of them? At once? Is it even possible? I need to have time to sit down, get some rest and think about what I really want.

But I feel like I have no time and of course it shows in my art, which became ugly, disproportional and rushed. And I know it started when I tried to fight my multiple artblocks, “just draw, don’t matter the quality”, and now I’m here, hardly making myself draw, hardly enjoying it, hardly living a life. I’m tired