#feeling stupidly emotional over him today 🥺 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ambrossart · 11 months

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I know it’s been a bit since I’ve asked you about DWM, but something occurred to me today regarding this:

“What would Eddie think when he woke up and saw his bed empty? Would he think you left because you regretted staying? Would he think you were having second thoughts about him, about your relationship? Would he think you were being flighty and running away again?”

And as we know, Eddie did wake up alone because Wayne stopped Reader from going back. So did Eddie actually think these things before seeing Reader eating breakfast with his uncle? What kind of relief came over him upon seeing that she’d stayed?

I hope all is well 💗💗💗

I love how your mind works 🙃

I could see Eddie having an initial reaction similar to the Reader's. When he first wakes up alone in his bed, he would probably experience this sudden sense of overwhelming dread, thinking it had all been a cruel dream (because that would be just his luck, wouldn't it?). Then he would fully wake up, catch the faintest whiff of her shampoo or her perfume and realize last night actually happened, and he would feel instantly relieved... for about three seconds. Then he would wonder why she isn't in bed anymore and start to worry.

It wouldn't be an all-consuming, full-blown panic kind of worry, though. It would be more like an unpleasant nagging feeling. After all the progress they made the night before, Eddie would want to trust her completely, but still, he wouldn't be able to silence that part of him that remembers all the hurt he experienced before. And honestly, this would probably make him feel a little guilty because he doesn't want to keep holding onto that doubt.

So, yeah, those couple of minutes that Eddie's alone in his room would be a pretty stressful couple of minutes with a lot of conflicting emotions involved (plus he's still tired as hell because NO WAY that boy fell asleep right away with her in bed next to him 😂). Then he would hear the sounds of people in the kitchen and hope with all his precious little heart that she's out there. 🥺

And can you imagine how stupidly happy Eddie would be to see her eating breakfast at the table with Wayne? Knowing his uncle went out of his way to make her breakfast? It would be a dream come true for him.

Wow, it's been a while since I thought of DWM so thank you for that! It's been nice to turn my brain off for a bit, but I really miss that story. I need to come back to it soon and try not to put so much pressure on myself this time around. 😊

But I'm doing well! I'm getting married in less than 3 weeks, so I'm pretty excited about that. Hope all's going well with you, too ❤️

#answered asks #thanks for the ask!#dwm #dancing with myself #ambrossart

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angelsfalling16 · 2 years

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Prompts? 👀

"What is it about me that isn't good enough?" for Snowbaz please 🥺

Sorry it took me so long to get this!! I have felt truly uninspired recently, but when I sat down to write this today, the words just started flowing out of me. I hope you like it!

This fits in with the 20 first kisses series, and I'll add it to that and put on ao3 later after I get home from work.

***

Baz

"What is it about me that isn't good enough?" Simon asks as he stumbles into our room in the late hours of night. I absolutely was not waiting up for him to see if he returned from wherever he ran off with the Mage to. I simply had an assignment that needed to be looked over before I turned it in tomorrow.

Simon looks terrible. There are dark circles under his eyes; his clothes are ripped and stained with a mix of dirt and blood; and there are numerous cuts along his exposed skin, one of which looks like it recently began to bleed again.

This is nothing new for him, but there is something about the look on his face. The light that is always on, giving him a determined look, is gone. The life seems to have gone from him, and all that is left is this golden empty shell that is slumped against our door, staring hollowly at nothing.

I stand from my desk and take a careful step towards him.

"Snow, are you alright?"

He keeps staring for a long, quiet moment, and I don't dare to move while I wait for him to respond.

"I just don't get it." His voice is barely above a whisper. "Nothing I do is ever good enough. All I'm good for is going off and blowing things up, but I can't even do that right."

Tears start to brim in his eyes, and I start to reach for him, stupidly thinking that I can comfort him, but I stop myself, worried that if I touch him, he will completely fall apart. I have never seen him like this.

"I have never been enough for anyone," he continues, his voice even quite now. If not for my vampire-enhanced hearing, I might not have even heard him. "My parents didn't event want me. Why would anyone else want me? I'll never be good enough for anyone." He ends on a sob, and the tears start to fall from his eyes, streaming down his face. He doesn't move to wipe them away. He just keeps staring blankly, like he isn't really looking at anything in the room.

I cannot begin to even imagine what happened to him tonight. He has gone on a lot of missions for the Mage, but none of them have caused him this much emotional pain. None of them have left him broken and crying in our room.

I don't know how to help him - or if I even can - but I have to do something.

I move closer to him, but I'm not sure that he notices that I'm in the room or registers the touch of my hand oh shoulder.

"Simon," I say gently. He turns his head towards me, but it's like he doesn't actually see me. "You are enough. You are more than enough."

"No, I'm not. No one cares about me."

I sigh and grit my teeth. Who the he'll did this to him? Who made him think that his life wasn't worth anything? If I ever find out, I will kill them.

"I care. I know it might not seem like, and I know that have never given you a reason to believe me, but I need you to know that you are enough for me."

His eyes seem to slowly come into while I'm talking, and as his eyes meet mine, I can see a glimpse of the light coming back, barely there but enough to give me hope that he can come back from whatever this is.

I slide my hand up from his shoulder to his neck, pausing briefly to feel his racing pulse, then up to his cheek. Simon leans into my touch and let's his eyes fall shut. If he was in his right mind, he wouldn't be trusting me like this. He never would have let me lay a hand on him without trying to at least fight me off.

"Baz," he whispers.

Matching him in volume, I say, "Snow."

He opens his eyes, and this time when he looks at me, even more of the light I'd back. "You called me Simon before."

I shake my head at him but feel the corner of my mouth start to pull up.

"I meant want I said. I care about you, Simon."

He opens his mouth like he wants to argue but seems to change his mind and closes it again.

Careful to move slowly so as not to scare him off, I take another step towards him so that I can wrap my arm around him so that I can pull him closer, hugging him. I hold him gently, trying to show him without words that I truly do care for him. His legs seem to buckle, and I catch him, then lower us to the ground together so that I'm kneeling and he's half sitting in my lap, just letting me hold him.

I'm not sure how long we sit like that, but I can feel sleep about to pull me under when Simon sits up pulling away from me.

He doesn't say anything so I reach out to comb my fingers through his hair, simply because I can. Because he's letting me. The strands of his hair slip through my fingers like rays of sunlight, similar to the light that seems to be growing brighter in his eyes as he looks up at me.

"Simon," I whisper, my voice full of adoration.

"Baz," he replies, sitting up and wrapping his arms around my neck. He's holding me close, and I barely dare to breathe, not wanting to disturb this moment.

His eyes wander my face then stop at my mouth. I want to kiss him. I want to find a million ways to show him how deeply I care for him, and right now I want to do that by kissing him.

"Simon," I repeat, only this time it's more of a question.

He brings his eyes back up to mine and nods.

I smile at him briefly before closing the distance between us and pressing my lips to his.

His lips are warm and sweet and a little smoky, and as I press him to him, he presses back. He parts his lips against mine and deepens the kiss. I hold him tighter, and his warmth envelops me. Simon's embrace feels like a patch of sun shining in through a window, warming me up without burning me.

I'm still not sure what's going on with him, but with this one simple kiss, I have hope that he will let me help him get through it.

#asks #ask game #i started and discarded like 4 other versions of this fic #this was i definitely my fav #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #simon snow #baz pitch #carry on #rainbow rowell #the simon snow series #my writing #i added a cut #and im sorry for any mistakes #i wrote this while at work today #and made zero edits

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