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caligobeltrao · 4 years

Note

I for one would love 2 hear ur thoughts on the hannibal novel 👀👀 - bloodybrahms ☺

ahhh thank you BB!! <3 I’m gonna throw it under a cut bc I know people aren’t gonna want my ramblings clogging up their dash lol.

Edit after I’ve written it: Holy shit this turned into a monster but tbf I did say I was going to rant. I think I miss writing college essays...

Also, I would like to note bc I’m about to bitch, I do still love Hannibal and Clarice and all of the franchise. Hell, I even love book Hannibal because I’m garbage and want to be special. So yeah. It’s a fond bitching.

Okay where to fuckin begin man... This novel was a fucking Shit Show, my dudes. It was like baby’s first fanfiction.

Let’s just jump in, shall we?

So by now, having read both Red Dragon and Silence of the Lambs, I know Harris injects of lot of sexual shit into his novels, fine whatever, but the amount of pedophilia is insane. Like, Red Dragon with the grandmother threatening to cut his dick off by holding it in between scissors????? And then we have Mason Verger, worst human on the planet. Like jfc I’ll go into him specifically more later but just. Men. Why does it always have to be sexual.

Like that time Clarice wasn’t wearing a bra and she wanted to prove to Paul Krendler she wasn’t wearing a wire so she flashed him her tits?? Unnecessary, Harris. Bullshit on all counts.

Next, poor Ardelia Mapp. So he clearly wrote out her accent in Silence, which frankly reads racist since to me it seemed like he did it every time a character of color was met but he didn’t for Clarice’s Southern accent except for this book when she was talking to Ardelia. Now, that’d be a cool way to show how close they are, sure, but it just... She didn’t show up enough to warrant that reaction from me, plus all the other casually racist shit he throws in.

Ardelia’s literally there as the wise Black best friend to help Clarice along. She doesn’t feel like her own character, she’s only there in conjunction with her, or doing something for her. She was the fucking valedictorian for Christ fucking sake, she also works at the Bureau but if her department was mentioned it was only once in passing. She was not a full character which fucking blows because she could’ve been so cool.

And real quick before I forget, I hate how she’s treated in the end. I do like she gets a reference and that brainwashed Clarice sent her an emerald ring and a note saying she was okay, but Ardelia was abandoned by her best friend (that she had lived with) with not even a phone call and they will never see each other again and I think Ardelia knows it. It sucks and I’m heartbroken for this woman.

I’m gonna touch a little bit on the racism too. Now I’m white and not the most qualified to talk about this shit, but I do wanna mention it because it makes me mad. There’s just so many unnecessary slurs, any POC is more of a background helper character to Clarice than anything or a foil.

For example, Evelda Drumgo. She starts us off. Badass Black woman who runs a drug cartel. She chooses to shoot at Clarice and risk her baby’s life, and we have Clarice wash the baby off and save his life. Then Evelda’s mother is written as irrational when she slaps Clarice for visiting the baby in the hospital; I get Clarice’s impulse, but that woman just lost her daughter because Clarice killed her. I would’ve slapped Clarice too, even if it was a totally justifiable shot.

The baby himself is used as a foil throughout other parts, most notably to me when Clarice goes to visit Mason the first time. There are two Black boys from a foster home playing in a room with a camera so Mason can watch them, and it shakes Clarice up a lil bit because of the baby, but it says she’s getting more used to it.

Now this is half and half well written and shoddy to me. It’d be a cool moment, if the whole incident wasn’t nearly completely forgotten for the rest of the book shortly afterword. It could show growth, if Clarice had any growth to show.

And then the Romani people who are literally just used and thrown away. Sickening. Also very broadly used the stereotypes we hear which Sucks; the three we meet in any sort of depth are pickpockets, one was already in jail and Pazzi used his leverage as a police officer to get her to do what he wanted and threatened to have her baby taken away from her permanently, like it was just bad. And then the man got killed. Pazzi let him bleed out. Asshole.

The slurs. I could take out all of them and pretty much have the same damn thing. Like I get showing negative aspects of characters and just because a character’s racist doesn’t mean the author is, but with the characters already being as shitty as they are, fully didn’t need it to make them worse. Entirely unnecessary. Racism or the character being racist has no impact on the plot is the major thing, I think. And you can replace that with anything along those lines, like sexist, homophobic, transphobic. It didn’t impact the plot, they can still be shitty, you just don’t need to use them.

This also goes in reference to Margot being a lesbian. And the transphobia holy shit, it was disgusting. Harris had Clarice think something so cruel and unnecessary it’s like my guy why was that even remotely something we needed to hear. We didn’t. I wanted to stop reading because that’s not my Clarice, first and foremost, and second, this is supposed to be the character we LIKE. And now I don’t like ANYBODY in this damn book.

And he treats Margot like shit too, and Barney.

Their friendship was beautiful and great and finally for once something nice was happening in Margot’s life and I was happy reading it, and then FOR SOME REASON Margot goes to shower in the same room as Barney after a workout, which makes no sense, and then Barney tries to force a kiss on her (and he was hard, Harris made that very clear) and she had been sexually assaulted by Mason her brother and ruin the whole damn thing and none of it would have changed any other piece of the novel if you removed it!!!!!!!!! Entirely unnecessary!!!!!! And Barney had the gall to say well I couldn’t help myself like none of that was realistic in the slightest, she never would have went in the same room to shower with him.

Something you need to do is basically get some suspension of disbelief from your reader and maintain and stretch that as you go, right? Well mine was gone at that moment.

Also side note Margot is basically just there to show how shitty Mason is for the umpteenth time. Her whole thing is lesbian sexual assault victim.

Also heavily implied she was a lesbian because of the sexual assault. And we rarely see Judy, her girlfriend, so. Bad. Bad all around.

Circling back around to Clarice and how disappointing she is in the books as compared to the movies. Well, Clarice is also a poorly written character. She’s 1000x better in the movie. Hell, she’s even better in this book than she was in Silence, but that’s not fucking hard.

Pretty much all the characters are so flat they don’t even classify as two dimensional.

Like sure, maybe we wanna say Clarice didn’t really solve much in the first book and was just handed everything because she was a trainee and that’s what Hannibal wanted.

Like if you remember the John Mulaney sketch of Delta Airlines where he’s just going “Okay!” and running to the next place he’s told, that’s Clarice.

Okay so why does she get goaded into all this shit now? She should know better. She should know how to handle herself better. Like she messes up basic fucking shit like clearing a room before untying Hannibal, which was stupid, she seems oblivious to some of the politics at work even though she’s been in the FBI for like 7 years now, she would at least have more fucking contacts than Brigham who died in the beginning and Jack Crawford who died at the end by rolling over in his bed to his dead wife’s side and Ardelia who would be near the same level as Clarice I guess but I still don’t know her damn department???? Like you fucking network.

Plus after her final fall from grace with the FBI, we meet or are told of random side characters that go no where and do nothing just to say “hey look at my special little girl, everyone likes her and looks up to her!!” Why? Because she caught Buffalo Bill 7 years ago and then never got a promotion or even worked with the BAU? Again, it does not make sense. People may pity her? But a random girl in the lab wouldn’t be fangirling. Starling herself said her career had gone nowhere because of the politics and not sleeping with Paul. You need to show me why she’s likable in her actions not others words.

We spend more time away from her than with her anyways but Jesus.

AND HER IN THE ENDING. She was fucking BRAINWASHED????? Bull FUCKING SHIT. He completely ruined anything he even remotely might’ve had in this cluster fuck of a novel.

Case in point, difference from the movie, Hannibal spends weeks (possibly? it’s left purposefully vague and I’m guessing that’s because Harris didn’t know the ins and outs and wanted his novel done) meticulously brainwashing Clarice, he had stolen her father’s bones and she’s so far gone at that point she doesn’t care, and the whole scene where Paul is getting his brain eaten? Yeah, she happily indulges and when he insults her, she asks Hannibal for more. Fuck you, Thomas Harris.

And Hannibal’s a Gary Stu, fucking fight me.

In the movie he either is or he’s tap dancing on that line, don’t get me wrong, but in the novels it’s insufferable because it doesn’t seem earned. The pigs didn’t attack him because they didn’t smell fear on him. No. He’s easily able to drug and brainwash Clarice and take her as his lover. No. Go away. He’s so smart and one step ahead and can manipulate anyone and everyone into doing what he wants and blah blah blah shut up! A character being perfect isn’t interesting even if he’s evil!! We all know he’s never truly in danger because of how Harris writes him and that’s boring!!

And I personally have a pet peeve where the villain is described as a monster or unstoppable. That’s boring and I no longer care about your story. I know 9 times out of 10 your main character is going to find a bullshit way around the impossible and kill it. Or it’s just like a default personality and nothing else is added to it. And that’s Hannibal.

I’m on Hannibal Rising now and, spoiler alert, he’s very bland as a character. (Also Harris switched some details in the novel which kinda annoys me like get your own canon right my man but whatever.) The plot itself is pretty fun? I guess? Like there’s action and stuff and I’m enjoying that. But it’s the same set up where Harris’s Gary Stu always wins, like he was 13 in the book when he killed the butcher. Let. Your. Characters. Lose.

Also even more racist shit but what did I expect really.

Anyways, I have no idea who I’m supposed to root for in the novel because all the characters are just kinda shitty. It really just boils down to Harris not showing any redeeming qualities or actions from any of his characters. I liked Margot for a while out of spite but she never really went anywhere and the way she killed Mason (btw she sodomized him with a cattle prod to get his semen bc side plot and then stuffed his Moray eel down his throat and somehow I still don’t think that’s the worst part of the novel) just. No thanks really.

All the random little side plots were also pretty not great. How many time does Harris have to say Pazzi of the Pazzis? Like I fucking get what you’re going for, even if I hadn’t watched the movie I’d be like, “Oh this dude’s gonna get hung outta that window, dope,” the literal first time. Stop treating your readers like idiots.

And then Margot’s side plot was that the will their father left said she needed a biological heir to inherit because he was pissed she’s gay and we needed the homophobia I guess, so Mason got everything, and she was helping him with the Hannibal shit because he’s pretty incapacitated duh, and in return he would give her his jizz so Judy could be artificially inseminated and they could have a child and get some of her inheritance. I don’t care. It was all very gross, and Mason kept saying shit like suck me off you’ve done it before, I won’t be able to feel it anyway, maybe Judy’ll suck me off you think she’d like that. It’s all gross.

And I guess this is a good a time as any to finally start on Mason. So a great rule of writing to make everything work better and give your story more depth is to give everyone both positive and negative traits right, even and especially the bad guys? Like, rules can always be broken if you’re a good enough writer, but I believe I have established that Harris isn’t quite there yet, to put it nicer than I have.

Mason is one bad trait after another. It’s like when Harris was bored of constantly writing about plain ole pedophilia, he threw a dart at a board of horrible things and landed on topics such as: pedophilia but make it incest, extreme sadism, sadism but against children now, and good old fashioned racism! Fucking Cordell was supposed to collect the children’s tears after Mason would make them cry and put them in martinis for him. Realism went out the goddamn door real fast with this novel y’all. Like a fucking Scooby Doo villain over here.

And he loves talking about being a sadistic pedophile, he will literally not shut up about it to Clarice when she first gets there telling her about his trip to Africa and this portable guillotine he has and just. I get it was probably like trying to make her uncomfortable on purpose because he’s a Freak, but it went way too far if only because it was annoying, not even uncomfortable for me as a reader. I was bored real quick. Get to the shit I actually wanna know.

And it sucks because of the weird, over-the-top way of how he died, I got zero satisfaction from his death. I couldn’t even be like, “Well at least Margot got her revenge,” because that’s not how she originally wanted to kill him!!! She wanted someone else to extract his semen for the insemination but couldn’t find anybody to do it for her, and then Hannibal, whilst tied up, said use a cattle prod and you won’t have to touch him and when you kill him you can blame it on me, and I’m pretty sure even if she hit his prostate right every time and he COULD cum from that alone in addition to how his body is Fucked Up now, it would’ve been a lengthy, gross, and re-traumatizing experience for her because all she wanted to do was avoid seeing and touching her brother’s private parts again, which I think is a totally fair and rational desire.

So I have to live with the fact that she was desperate enough to not lose the house and business because of her homophobic father to go through her childhood trauma again. There’s no place in this book that has a somewhat positive conclusion.

Even the very last bit where Barney has a girlfriend and a ton of cash from Margot, all he wants to do is see every Vermeer in the world right? Well, because Hannibal and Clarice are in Buenos Aires where one of them is on display, Barney gets spooked and has him and his girlfriend leave before he can see it and it ends that bit with he never got to see it ever so he didn’t even complete his dream!!!

Also for good measure, Harris throws in that Hannibal and Clarice enjoy having sex regularly. For no reason. Just letting us know.

I know this seemed like just a bitch fest, because it was, but I kinda sorta enjoyed it? It kept my attention at the very least. It’s really disappointing because like I said, I love the movies, all of them, and have since I was little. To see the original not stand up to that image in my mind is a little heartbreaking. Especially Clarice. She was a strong female role model to me, but turns out she’s... just kinda there. And her ending is that of her no longer being herself and getting that agency taken away from her.

There is a reference to her waking up from a sleep, if she is asleep (that’s kind of how he worded it), that kinda let us draw our conclusions on whether she was just brainwashed into being good for him or if she was willingly going along with this and was in love with him I guess and it felt like a slap in the face. She turned from a hardworking, modest country girl working her way up to the FBI into a female Hannibal. Which on the surface sounds kinda cool because we love luxe serial killers, but that’s not what she wanted or who she was set up to be. And to insinuate that she would even remotely consider choosing that path for herself is at its best an insult to her and at its worst a complete erasure of her background, what little character Harris did set up. It also completely erases my own connections to her, as a girl from a small town myself who has bigger dreams than this and also... a good, strong set of morals. He just tossed that out the window.

Obviously if you’re on this blog, you like slasher x reader shit, and this is a novel with a slasher x a person, right? So why am I so mad about it? Because the whole point of this blog and reader insert fanfiction in general is that you are taken as you are and loved wholly as yourself and that you are worthy of that love (in a fictional setting, not really loving people who are like this, which I think we understand but I want to clarify). She was not taken as she was. He is not in love with her, she is not in love with him. She was transformed into what he wanted out of her. He couldn’t get her to be Mischa, his first plan, so he made her like himself. And the fact that he was so easily able to do it makes me upset, and even more so is that it’s not written like it’s weird or wrong. It’s written like they’re in love and this is a good thing.

He may have been going for the classic “everyone is capable of doing bad things” stuff we see a lot, but we got that from Margot already. And Barney, for stealing Lecter’s stuff and selling it. And Paul, and the entire FBI for turning on Clarice, and the kidnappers, and Pazzi, and random shitty side characters. And none of it was particularly well written or made some sort of strong statement. It just was. And that’s not a good enough basis for a novel.

Anyways, if you made it this far holy shit you’re a saint and I love you, let’s be friends?? <3 Have a good day y’all, thank you BB for giving me permission to ramble.

#bloodybrahms #ask #no joke i spent like 5-6 hours total writing this i had a Lot to say

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babbushka · 5 years

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I'm ready for your take on the resistance!

hh okay i’m putting it under a cut because it’ll probably get long and i don’t wanna clog everyone’s dash lol

So I’m going to preface this by saying that I don’t think the First Order is like,,,a good organization of good people. Please don’t read all this and tell me I’m a hypocrite for not also immediately denouncing the FO. That ain’t what this is about.

I get the appeal of the Resistance, it’s supposedly this faction group fighting the good fight against evil but like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,is it lmao

I think first it’s important to sort of establish why people think of the Resistance as the “good guys” and the First Order as the “bad guys.” Arguably, the Resistance is just as morally corrupt and ethically skewed as the FO is, which I’ll get to in a minute.

But like, if we look solely at the two groups, technically, the Resistance is just a random organization filled with trigger-happy showoffs that’s been funded (at least in the past) by the New Republic to operate secretly to dismantle the military that’s really trying to just take care of the galaxy. I’m not going to call them a t*rrorist organization, because that’s a bit extreme, but at their core they really are just self appointed people doing whatever they think is right. The FO on the other hand is a systematic and organized military that (presumably) holds control over the known galaxy.

My issue with the Resistance is similarly to my issue with the Jedi (which yes I’m aware is a completely separate group of people). They claim to be for equality and freedom except like, for who? (”we didn’t come here to free slaves”). They are passionate fighters, yes, but who are they fighting for? Really it kind of feels like themselves. Which arguably, isn’t much different than the FO.

And wherever they show up, it’s not like peace follows in their wake. The planets that get blown up by the Empire/FO are rebel alliance planets, (the FO doesn’t just kill people for no reason lol). The Resistance commits acts of murder and genocide in the same way that the FO does, war is war afterall, so objectively it doesn’t make them much better. I think both groups operate under the idea of ‘by any means necessary’ with both groups thinking their wildly inflammatory beliefs are both correct, and just, and worth fighting for.

And that’s certainly admirable, but that doesn’t make either of them right, or good.

I don’t know. I think the Resistance is selfish. I think they have a grand dream that’s so far up their own asses that they’re willing to dispose of anyone and anything to achieve it -- all under the guise of hope. And Hope for what? For freedom? Vengeance? Are they sure that’s even what they’ll get if they win?

I know we’re supposed to root for them, but I can’t bring myself to. And for the same reason I can’t bring myself to root for Kylo’s redemption -- it would actually make me so mad because I think he deserves better than that.

If it were me, I’d never return to the group of people who pushed me out in the first place, who neglected me, who knew I was being abused and did nothing about it, who feared me, made me feel unwanted and alone, tried to murder me in my sleep. I don’t want that for Kylo, I don’t want him to suddenly be considered acceptable by the very people who threw him away, I want him to kill them all and then work towards making the galaxy a better place, or whatever the hell he’d do then.

I don’t know if any of this made any sense, but I just have such negative feelings about the whole thing.

#Anonymous #cowboy answers

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captaindboss · 6 years

Text

captaindboss’ Hottest NHL Players Survey Responses

I’m demonkonecny bc it’s halloween!!! Happy Halloween!!! Anyway I’m finally posting the results of my hottest players per team survey, (it’s closed now so u can’t take it anymore, sorry) which included ur fav ugly hots like jack eichel and connor mcdavid. Y’all had some colorful write-in responses for me, I included my favorites! Anyway, as not to clog dashes I put it under a read more. If you have questions about how I compiled this data or how I organized it, feel free to ask! Also some of y’all didn’t put an answer for like half the teams???? who raised you.

Montreal Canadians

Carey Price (55.02%--126 of 229 votes)

Jonathan Drouin (23.58%--54 of 229 votes)

Shea Weber (13.10%--30 of 229 votes)

Other* (8.30%--19 of 229 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“PK Subban...oh wait...Lars Eller... Oh wait...Drouin...oh wait...Alex Galchenyuk...oh wait shit fine Shea Weber”

“Everyone who has escaped”

“their ‘attitude problem’“

Boston Bruins

Brandon Carlo (30.26%--69(lol) of 228 votes)

Patrice Bergeron (Cause y’all would kill me if I didn’t put him) (29.82%--68 of 228 votes)

David Pastrnak (yum i lov carb) (25.88%--59 of 228 votes)

Other* (14.04%--32 of 228 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

[About Carlo] “He’s a baby but also like has an ageless vampire quality which appeals to my ovaries, long conditioned by teen vampire novels”

“Brad Marchand's tongue (only the tongue)” [this ain’t it chief]

“I love my alien father tuukka rask” [r u ok]

Bonus, cause I’m weak:

“no one THINKS pasta is hot COME ON i hate us” [it’s okay, he is VERY hot, that’s why I put him lmao]

“Zdeno chara babey” [R U OK]

Bl*ckh*wks

Girl as if (44.80%--99 of 221 votes)

Jonathan Toews (22.62%--50 of 221 votes)

If you put pk*ne here i’ll come to your house and murder you*^/other (17.65%--39 of 221 votes)

hahahahaHAHAHA (14.93%--33 of 221 votes)

*= tie between Nick Schmaltz and John Hayden.

^= 3 people want me to come to their houses and murder them, unfortunately it’s still illegal to do so, therefore I will not be doing that.

Write-ins

“toews player portrait makes him look like a human condom”

“i live in chicago and am willing to take 1 for the team and take out k*ne”

“Bitch you funny but also Alex Debrincat”

New York Rangers

Brady Skjei (46.32%--107 of 231 votes)

Henrik Lundqvist duh (31.17%--72 of 231 votes)

Brett Howden is the right answer despite not being on the roster yet^ (11.69% (lol)--27 of 231 votes)

Other* (10.82%--25 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

^= funny enough, like 2 days after I made this Brett made the final cut lmao.

Write-ins

“Chris Kreider (have you seen the golf pic???) [LMFAO yeah I have (it’s probably too NSFW if ur in public fyi if u wanna google it)]

“i'm horny for like half the gd rangers roster!!!!” [lol girl I know, y’all actually have a few cuties I was a lil shocked]

“this is a hot team too bad they suck”

Toronto Maple Leafs

Y’all are demons okay Nikita Zaitsev is a fuckin gem idk why I was surprised about this but I was lmao.

Other* (39.37%--87 of 221 votes) [just know that I hate u all :/]

William Nylander (25.79%--57 of 221 votes)

Nazem Kadri (24.89%--55 of 221 votes)

Nikita Zaitsev (9.95%--22 of 221 votes)

*= Freddie Andersen.

Write-ins

“william nylander isn't a leaf, firstable, and second it's motch murner” [sjdhkdlsjdj everything about this]

“i'm putting rich clune even tho he's on the marlies. SOMETIMES HE COMES UP. he could benchpress ever leaf on the roster.” [ur valid, when u sent this I was like “FUCK they’re right.”]

“None they look like 25 year olds who smoke crack in the parking lot” [this is low-key mean but I still laughed, cause yeah, white dudes. But I’m not condoning drug abuse or jokes about drug abuse, as this person had no intention of doing, I’m sure. Just wanted to put that because I know some people might be concerned.]

Bonus, again, weak:

"Jxhn Txvxrxs” [jhkhfoij why did u censor his name sis??]

“nobody’s attractive on the leafs” [this isn’t true but I’m petty and it’s funny.]

Detroit Red Wings

I was so fucking offended by some of the dylan larkin SLANDER up in these write-ins, y’all can come to my house and fight me thx.

Dylan Larkin (48.23%--109 of 226 votes)

Henrik Zetterberg (im crying) (31.42%--71(CRYING) of 226 votes)

Other* (11.95%--27 of 226 votes)

Andreas Athanasiou (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= 12 votes for “No one/Not Dylan Larkin” (yall r annoying lmfao), 10 votes for Filip Zadina (he’s a CHILD how dare u)

Write-Ins

“Luke glen denting is hot look at his arms and he’s not too old for ME” [girl when I tell u this shit killed me, I mean I SQUAWKED a laugh out and sent it to the fps gc, I was DEAD]

“I don't know what any of the red wings look like and it's probably better that way” [????????????????]

“ion know anyone on the wings except zadina and he scored a gwg against the bruins yesterday so my answer for this one is none 😤😤” [(this was in reference to a pre-season game) lmao sis yall are okay. it was yalls babies against our roster players, I would have offed myself had the outcome been any different lmao]

Bonus

“Does anyone actually play for the red wings” [no]

“filip "thot" zadina” [don’t....]

Los Angeles Kings

The only right answer is Alec Martinez (41.56%--96 of 231 votes)

Adrian Kempe (38.10%--88 of 231 votes)

Anze Kopitar (12.12%--28 of 231 votes)

Other* (8.23%--19 of 231 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“jeff carter would snort a line of coke with gritty” [uhhhhh WHAT]

“uhh wayne gretzky...” [jvfluhddsf sis...]

“I couldn't name anyone on this team if you PAID ME” [fjldfdhfh god I wish that were me, sorry annie u know I joke....]

Philadelphia Flyers

Claude Giroux (44.78%--103 of 230 votes)

Travis Konecny (HAHAHAHAHA that’s my ugly hot gremlin) (24.78%--57 of 230 votes

Other* (22.17%--51 of 230 votes

Wayne Simmonds (8.26%--19 of 230 votes)

*= Nolan Patrick is apparently who y’all think is the 3rd hottest flyer, even tho he Looks Like That rn lmao. fuckin’ lettuce head.

Write-ins

“Gritty's googly eyes are the windows to the soul”

“andrea helfrich” [ur right]

“tk, because country boy i LOVE you 😛”

Bonus

“hey don't make threats abt gritty like that” [I put “if you put gritty i’ll block you”]

“My hellspawn son [Gritty,] is beautiful can’t believe Voracek and G had a son tho” [HDKUHEDKJFHD BITCH]

Pittsburgh Penguins :(

Kris Letang (55.17%--128 of 232 votes)

Other* (19.40%--45 of 232 votes)

Not Sidney Crosby [this is the option for Sidney Crosby] (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Tristan Jarry (8.62%--20 of 232 votes

*= different variations of “none” won but only by one vote, the person right behind was Jamie Oleksiak.

Write-ins

“the penguins roster came into my home and killed my entire family, but jamie oleksiak is 6'7" 255 lbs of A Man” [NDKFHSJRFDRBSKRFH valid]

“no penguin has ever been hot. As soon as they put on the jersey the hotness evaporates. Tragic.” [wow look at all that truth right there]

“as a heterosexual i chose letang, and as a flyers fan i choose the penguin mascot” [lmao girl letang is not the answer either]

St. Louis Blues

Colton Parayko (67.11%--151 of 225 votes)

Alex Pietrangelo (17.33%--39 of 225 votes)

Other* (8%--18 of 225 votes)

Ryan O’Reilly (7.56%--17 of 225 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“this [’other’] box shouldn’t exist there are no valid arguments against the angel colton parayko” [tru, but the blues have other hotties so I made the box to be fair to those of us who don’t like Big Blonde Sexies]

“uh valid i guess? idk any of the blues lmao” [LMAOOO I think they meant Vladdy, but “valid” cracked me up]

“ROR can lay me down” [ur so valid lmao]

Buffalo Sabres

Jeff Skinner (60.18%--136 of 226 votes)

Rasmus Ristolainen (17.26%--39 of 226 votes)

Other* (14.16%--32 of 226 votes)

Jack Eichel (8.41%--19 of 226 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. [Y’all big mad that I put Skinner on here. HE’S HOT!]

Write-ins

“Idk but not these lmao” [*instert that gif of the kardashians like “DON’T BE FUCKING RUDE”*]

“Why is Jeff Skinner an option he looks 12″ [who else tho sis. I looked at the roster!]

“If anyone says eichel i will come to their house and steal their toothbrushes. Its conor sheary.” [I took my own survey and picked Eichs but I still have my toothbrush so I guess......... I’m right.]

Bonus:

“Rasmus Ristolainen kinda looks like a creepy half-alive Ken doll, but I'll stand by my choice. Hire an exorcist.” [JDFKHRFWEH GIRL]

“They lost their only cute player when O’Reilly got traded sorry” [boom. roasted]

Vancouver Canucks

Brock Boeser (67.56%--152 of 225 votes)

Other* (13.78%--31 of 225 votes)

Jake Virtanen (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

Ben Hutton (6.22%--14 of 225 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[about Jake Virtanen] all that ass...........” [sjdkfhdkfhdkhfi yeah]

“the city of vancouver” [?????????????????????]

“I keep forgetting that the canucks actually exist” [I’m reasonably sure this is annie lmfao]

Bonus

“I don’t know how any of this team looks either” [idk if I follow Nucks blogs or what but how do u not know Boeser???]

“i don't care enough about this team to even attempt to answer” [this is my brain @ me on the last 5 questions of an exam]

New York Islanders

Mat Barzal (67.69%--155 of 229 votes)

Tito Beauvillier (14.85%--34 of 229 votes)

Jordan Eberle (10.48%--24 of 229 votes)

Other* (6.99%--16 of 229 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“you say put full names but then u go and say tito??” [LISTEN I was tired at this point and forgot that I was trying to be at least a little bit professional about my thirst survey alright? yeesh]

“Its Matt Martin my dude” [LMAO u funny]

“idk how anyone pays attention to mat when tito is always there looking better barzal looks like every attractive jock ive ever met and i dont trust that”

Calgary Flames

Noah Hanifin (37.95%--85 of 224 votes)

Elias Lindholm (32.59%--73 of 224 votes)

Matthew Tkachuk (20.54%--46 of 224 votes)

Other* (8.93%--20 of 224 votes)

*= Sean Monahan wins 4th hottest.

Write-ins

“[Hanifin] looks like the bad guy in a teen movie. the guy the Main Girl is dating in the beginning but is a real dick to her. you look at him and you KNOW he has a trust fund and votes republican. god he's so hot though” [hanny......... yeah.... yeah....]

“Why do I find Tkachuk attractive? I don't know but I love him” [me too]

“James 'The Real Deal' Neal” [lol I got this answer multiple times]

Washington Capitals

Tom Wilson (31.33%--73 of 233 votes)

Andre Burakovsky (29.18--68 of 233 votes)

Braden Holtby (24.03%--56 of 233 votes)

Other* (15.45%--36 of 233 votes)

*= Michal Kempny and Nicklas Backstrom tied for fourth hottest.

Write-ins

“literally no one, i s2g if i see anyone say ovi is attractive..... jfc god help them” [.... but ovi is dad-hot, also he got 3 votes]

“YOUR STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS! Everyone btw just a hot team of hot ugly men and Tom Wilson” [kskdjskdjksks]

“my sweaty swedish sweetheart; Nicklas Backstrom” [I’m too illiterate to read this right the first time thru lol]

Colorado Avalanche

Gabe Landeskog ( 55.95%--127 of 227 votes)

Other* (22.47%--51 of 227 votes)

Erik “Horsegirl” Johnson (14.1%--32 of 227 votes)

Mikko Rantanen (7.49%--17 of 227 votes)

*= Tyson Barrie won by more than double of all the other write-ins, but honorable mentions go to Nate MacK, Colin Wilson, Tyson Jost, Phillip Grubauer, and The Avs Tumblr People.

Write-ins - I (jokingly) got called bitch so much in these write-ins, y’all feel some type of WAY about this team lmfao.

“but also the tysons. i would buy a whole farm just so those boys could plow me into the ground.” [i’m SCREECHING. this killed me lol]

“only attractive b/c of his proximity to horses? maybe so.” [.... girl what]

Okay, so instead of a third quote, cause I couldn’t pick, I’m gonna put all the other funny EJ comments I was contemplating:

“ej is soooo ugly in the hottest way possible”

“erik "big horny" johnson”

“oh my god Ej was included for once I'm weeping tears of joy”

“What that mouth do EJ?”

New Jersey Devils

Miles Wood (36.12%--82 of 227 votes)

Taylor Hall (33.48%--76 of 227 votes)

Brian Boyle (19.82%--45 of 227 votes)

Other* (10.57%--24 of 227 votes)

*= Nico Hischier with the majority of the write-ins, even tho he’s still a CHILD (under 20).

Write-ins, aka Mostly Taylor Hall Commentary.

“Does Michael McLeod count” [YES girl i love that boy]

“Gucciiiiiii”

“DSL GUCCI”

“Nico Hischier (Taylor Hall I still love you)”

“i chose taylor and i don’t even need a gucci purse”

“If Taylor Hall gave me a Gucci purse I'd vote for him”

“catch me w/ a gucci purse, girl!!!! for real tho miles wood”

Dallas Stars

DISCLAIMER: I mean no disrespect to Katie, she’s fab and I made this survey a month or so ago. If you don’t know what I mean by this--do not ask me, I will delete the message. Thank you!

Tyler Seguin (46.96%--108 of 230 votes)

Katie Hoaldridge (im gay) (35.22%--81 of 230 votes)

Other* (13.91%--32 of 230 votes)

Stephen Johns (3.91%--9 of 230 votes)

*= Jamie Benn.

Write-ins

“tyler seguin has no upper lip” [I screamed, not exaggerating]

“You have to choose [Seguin] but I do so under duress”

“Im gay too” [hell yeah, this is a mlm and wlw friendly survey!]

Edmonton Oilers

Jujhar Khaira (28.57%--64 of 224 votes)

Other* (27.68%--62 of 224 votes)

Contract McMoney (he is hot) (25.89%--58 of 224 votes)

Darnell Nurse (17.86%--40 of 224 votes)

*= Leon Draisaitl won by more than 5 times anyone elses write-in lmao.

Write-ins ft. “The Draisaitl Quotes”

“McMoney’s money- just his money” [lmao ok sammie, HE’S HOT!]

“cannot mcwingames went off in the gq shoot i admit” [*annie voice* OHMYGOD]

“He’s [Khaira] like a romance novel cover like, f me” [tru]

Drai Quotes

“Drai but like lucic cause Momma needs a man that could kill me” [HDGFDHDGFHDH]

“leon dreisetl (is that his name, is this how you spell it?)”

“Leon Draisaitl and his contract that he doesn't deserve” [backhanded compliment lmao]

“the one w the longass name. dry saitl or whatever” [girl. lmfao]

Winnipeg Jets

Jets/laine fans are funny so I’m adding all the funniest ones instead of just 3 or 5. Sorryyyyyy I’m here to entertain.

Blake Wheeler (44.04%--96 of 218 votes)

Mathieu Perreault (but specifically in his newest headshot) (21.56%--47 of 218 votes)

Other* (19.27%--42 of 218 votes)

Connor Hellebuyck (15.14%--33 of 218 votes)

*= Patrik Laine, even tho I said NOT TO, demons.

Write-ins

“Their logo so I can fly away from this stupid team”

“Nobody but I just needed to point out Connor Hellebuyck looks like a stage magician and that is Not Hot” [i respectfully disagree with the last bit but the first parts made me snort]

“I don't know who windy pegg is”

“Boeing 747″ [sjdjsljlshgdu]

“they’re all second to jacob trouba’s dog Donnie”

“Patty Laine, but like, without the demon beard”

“Let me live my life! Laine has a good voice and i have a LANGUAGE KINK!”

“Laine WITH the beard because I don't fear death”

“Sorry, Laine but only with his beard” [I love the halfhearted apology]

“Goatboi”

“ALL HAIL THE GOAT DEVIL”

“laine come at me bitch lol” [denny’s parking lot. 3 am. be there.]

“laine looks like a goat”

“Laine’s Beard”

“LAINE I like the beard but hockey Satan is good to hellebuyck” [I really felt like I was tripping balls while reading all these but, ESPECIALLY this one lmfao]

Arizona Coyotes

Oliver Ekman-Larsson (30.32%--67 of 221 votes)

Jakob Chychrun (28.05%--62 of 221 votes)

Dylan Strome (26.24%--58 of 221 votes)

Other* (15.38%--34 of 221 votes)

*= Alex Galchenyuk, with the majority of the votes.

Write-ins

“pls date me Chych” [annie, that’s my BF!]

“ 🐼 there is no raccoon emoji >:(”

“[Chychrun] [a]lso has a vampire quality but like trust fund baby vampire who has no morals. I’m...into it??”

Honorable mentions: The 2 people who put Biz lmaoooo I love yall.

Carolina Hurricanes

Andrei Svechnikov [he’s a baby but I didn’t know who elseeee] (38.29%--85 of 222 votes)

Haydn Fleury (35.59%--79 of 222 votes)

Other* (15.77%--35 of 222 votes)

Dougie Hamilton (10.36%--23 of 222 votes)

*= Sebastian Aho wins the write-in vote [he ain’t it!]

Write-ins

“Justin Faulk (I’m old so svechnikov is out)” [ugh ur right I didn’t make this more inclusive to people not my age, i’m (genuinely) sorry!!!]

“Formerly Eric ‘the hottest Staal' Staal” [only on the cane’s write-in would I have this happen...]

“[Jordan] staal terrifies me but that's hot” [true!]

San Jose Sharks

Erik Karlsson (70.04%--159 of 227 votes)

Martin Jones (17.62%-- 40 of 227 votes)

Other* (11.01%--25 of 227 votes)

Justin Braun (idk) (1.32%--3 of 227 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“Daddy shark (doo doo doo)” [just so yall know this is, of course, annie, as in anzekopistar, an actual demon, she’s talking about Erik Karlsson :)]

“Brent Burns, you know im right” [are you tho?]

“Okay sometimes I have needs I think Joe Thorton sans beard could fill” [this is why joe shaved. he felt this person in the universe wanting him to, so he did, wow thank u joe]

Ottawa Senators (lol)

Matt Duchene (33.63%--75 of 223 votes)

The entire team (cause they’re a dumpster fire) (30.94%-- 69 [it’s that tkachuk fuckboi energy] of 223 votes)

Other (there are none)* (22.87%--51 of 223 votes)

Spartacat (12.56%--28 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results (because a lot of you took my “there are none” joke a little too seriously and just chose that, no write-in lmao)

Write-ins

“[about Duchene] he's traitorous but it's like that sometimes i guess” [sjdhdjfhkdhf girl it’s okay.]

“.... we're a team“ [i-]

“the senator on their jerseys is p cute ig”

Bonus:

“oh so spartacat is an option but not gritty huh” [LISTEN the flyers are a HOT team, the sens are NOT. that’s why lmao]

“Just based on headshots I’m going with Ben Sexton like also how do you go wrong with that name”

Tampa Bay Lightning

Brayden Point (55.25%--121 of 219 votes)

Other* (22.83%--50 of 219 votes)

Mitchell Stephens (11.87%--26 of 219 votes)

Steve Yzerman (10.05%--22 of 219 votes)

*= Inconclusive results. Although there were a lot of responses none of them added up significantly sooo....

Write-ins

“am i the only one who thinks stevie y was a bit of a twink when he was younger?” [jdhslihdalskdjefh]

“Worst team in the league i hate them and theyre all hideous” [u sure bout that, bud?]

“Stamkos (I love his tiny eyes)” [????]

Florida Panthers

Aaron Ekblad (71.75%--160 of 223 votes)

Aleksander Barkov [r yall ok???] (11.66%--26 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.31%--23 of 223 votes)

Vincent Trocheck (6.28%--14 of 223 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“who are the panthers” [sometimes a team is a dog captain, a(n extremely hot) 27-year-old lawyer, and not owen tippett because the panthers hate me specifically]

“Roberto Luongo during Parkland speech” [... valid]

“barkov is literally the only player i know on this team” [shey would be happy to teach u about the panthers!]

Anaheim Ducks

Adam Henrique (52.47%--117 of 223 votes)

No one else (29.6%--66 of 223 votes)

Other* (10.76%--24 of 223 votes)

John Gibson (7.17%--16 of 223 votes)

*=Inconclusive results.

Write-ins-Ducks fans don’t @ me but i’m pretty sure half of these were submitted by y’all anyways....

“if i look @ anyone on the ducks roster for more than 5 seconds i BLACK OUT” [KSHDGJDHSKH Adam tho....]

“Quack Quack go lay your eggs somewhere else you feathered FUCKS” [sjdjfhdjsksj]

“legal 2 say kesler?” [no. go to jail]

Bonus

“Henrique is fine I have no qualms about your selections” [thnk u]

“jared coreau!!! GOOGLE HIM i’m right” [I said this, and we’ve talked, but I need people to know that I, after seeing this, subsequently found out that the Wings didn’t sign coreau back this offszn lmao]

Nashville Predators

Roman Josi (39.39%--91 of 231 votes)

PK Subban (37.66%--87 of 231 votes)

Kevin Fiala (13.42%--31 of 231 votes)

Other* (9.52%--22 of 231 votes)

*= Pekka Rinne for 4th hottest. [My mom loves him for his name lol. she says it’s “fun”]

Write-ins

“pk wears cool hats. I like that in a man”

“I don't find any of them hot (Josi used too be hot and then I learned he was illiterate and now I feel nothing but pity towards him)” [GIRL]

“preds are also ugly. pk subban would be attractive if he werent a pred” [lmao. what’d they do to u ?]

Columbus Blue Jackets

Pierre-Luc Dubois (50.22%--113 of 225 votes)

Zach Werenski (20.44%--46 of 225 votes)

Josh Anderson (16.89%--38 of 225 votes)

Other* (12.44%--28 of 225 votes)

*= Alex Wennberg is 4th hottest [lmao]

Write-ins

“Can I put werenskie and Anthony Duclair” [valid]

“Just to be clear CBJ is by far the hottest team exemplified by the fact that you left Seth Jones and Alexander Wenneberg off this list when they're like top 20 in hotness. Also Nick Foligino wins if we include looks and personality.” [I didn’t include them cause this is a mix of hot and ugly hot fam, the avs are 100% the hottest team in the NHL, and that’s coming from me, a Wings fan, destined to hate the Avs for my entire life. Also???? The hotter Foligno is def Marcus lmao]

“[About Werenski] only with the scar though otherwise seth jones” [GIRL scars don’t disappear??? WDYM only with the scar??? Are you a time traveler??? lmfaooo]

Minnesota Wild

J.T. Brown (46.46%--105 of 226 votes)

Other* (21.68%--49 of 226 votes)

Eric Staal (20.80%--47 of 226 votes)

Jason Zucker (11.06%--25 of 226 votes)

*= Charlie Coyle. Honorable mentions to Zach Parise and Matt Dumba.

Write-ins

“Charlie Coyle man! V hot, could kill you, gently waves at babies, 10/10″ [exactly my type! wow]

“ Not JT[,] Lexi is the hottest[,] Eric Staal from a few years ago is also hot” [I added commas to your thing cause.... girl it took me a sec to understand what u were tryna say. But also ur right it’s Lexi.]

“love a #wokebae jt” [yaaas]

FINALLY this legit took me like 10+ hours of work cause I had to transcribe all the info cohesively and then go thru all the responses lmao.

Vegas Golden Knights

William Karlsson (40.52%--94 of 232 votes)

Marc-Andre Fleury (30.60%--71 of 232 votes)

Max Pacioretty (16.81%--39 of 232 votes)

Other* (12.07%--28 of 232 votes)

*= Inconclusive results.

Write-ins

“[Karlsson] because he looks like young Bill from Mamma Mia” [shfhdjdhf girl]

“fleury isn't hot you absolute monster” [???????? drink ur bitterness tea somewhere else pls]

“let's find out just how wild this boy is” [pftd dtduftdhjfgdjfghdjf]

Bonus/Honorable mentions:

The TWO people who put “colin miller’s eyelashes” lmfaoooo

Alrighty this is The End! If you’d like to see another survey by me let me know in my messages/ask!!! Also sorry for stealing de la Rose from u, habs fans

#pkane tw #arizona coyotes #anaheim ducks #buffalo sabres #boston bruins #calgary flames #detroit red wings #philadelphia flyers #dallas stars #toronto maple leafs #pittsburgh penguins #new york rangers #new york islanders #carolina hurricanes #washington capitals #colorado avalanche #edmonton oilers #winnipeg jets

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regulusarcblack · 5 years

Text

ok so i was tagged in a bunch of shit and didn’t reply them so the time is now

imma do the last line challenge and the wip challenge tagged by @twoghostsacoustic underneath and also the selfie challenge tagged by @finck-you-freeky and a tag game by @1diamondinthesun

it’s under the cut so it doesn’t clog yalls dash, cheers

last line challenge:

ok last line i actually wrote of a fic was:

Louis whimpered again, moving his hips up and towards his when he leaned down to mark him up on his neck, his collarbones, his nipples, wherever he could reach.

it’s from my abo au and since i’m writing it all wrong it’s not really the last line written but the one i last wrote (does this make sense? no? yea)

wip challenge:

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are

bold of you to assume i’m organized enough to actually use my wip folder~~ and not to have my masters stuff my personal stuff and my wips all in one huge mess lmao but anyway my wips are:

the storyteller: based off HS1, it’s like halfway done, i don’t even know what’s this supposed to be tbh

something you’d be good at: it’s the abo au from the last line challenge above. it’s a huge mess, 95% done

a bunch of docs of u#28 aka batman au

ruby twoo aka part 2 of my ruby woo porn

prompts marcel exchange from a billion years ago when i entered the exchange and ended up writing another fic different from the original one i was supposed to write/seculo xiii which is research for the original fic and the fic itself

Disney AU which is basically a bunch of 1d disney aus that me and steph thought about writing lol along with the first one aka snow white and the seven dwarves

and then the beatles meet 1d which is a super cute idea i don’t think i’ll ever even try to write considering i totally had forgotten about it lmao

oh yeah there’s also steph’s bday surprise which god knows when will ever happen

tbh god fucking knows when i will ever write or finish all of these so if anyone actually reads this and wants to see wtf i’m talking about feel free to ask me to read anything

except you steph cuz i know you wanna read your gift so don’t even try

tag game:

Rules are 15 Qs, 15 mutuals

1. Are you named after anyone? no

2. When was the last time you cried? yesterday

3. Do you have any kids? fuck no, but i do have a cat

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? ye

5. What’s the first thing you notice about a person? ??? if they’re hot?? tf i dont know mate

6. What’s your eye color? Brown

7. Scary movies or Happy endings? dumbass question aren’t like a bunch of scary movies with a happy ending???? cuz someone survives?? but happy endings ok no OPEN ENDINGS I LOVE OPEN ENDINGS OK fuck me up

8. Any special talents? None unles you count being annoying

9. Where were you born? brazil

10. What are your hobbies? mate... i’m unemployed, everything i do is a hobbie but talking shit is something i do love to do and am good at

11. Do you have any pets? Yes

12. What sports have you played/ do you play? volleyball

13. How tall are you? not very

14. What’s your favourite subject at school? listen. listen. i’ve been studying nonstop for 21 years of my life. i don’t have a favourite anything at school besides not being in school.

15. What’s your dream job? being rich

last but not least selfie challenge

coolest fucking selfie i ever took mate

anyway i’m supposed to tag people so @accio-slash @thiccstan @smellofsunshine @thepachanga i think i never saw one of your selfies?? and yea

#tag games

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perfectus-in-morte · 7 years

Text

A long ass post where I put all my songs on shuffle and clog up your dash like a heathen 🤷🏻‍♀️

Man it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these! And sorry for ghosting y'all for a few weeks (lol pun not intended) but classes started back up and life got hectic. But I’m back in the Dumpster™ and y'all are gonna see me fling myself into the abyss again. I was tagged by the ever-amazing @lysergic-saturnine-desert to put my playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. But because he broke the rules and posted more than 10, I might end up doing that too because I just splurged on multiple metal albums and my playlist is ready for fucking battle. So hold onto your cassocks folks because it’s gonna be a ride. Hail Satan! 😘 And yes, I’m gonna be extra as fuck and fangirl over certain songs when I list them because that’s who I am as a person. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Cemetery Gates, Pantera –F U C K y'all I just love this song so much you have no idea. We’re off to a great start. The fucking guitar solo is epic and F U C K I just really love when Phil Anselmo has a wail-off with the guitar and I just…UGH ITS AN EARGASMIC SLOWFUCK INTO THE VOID Mummy Dust, Ghost –of fucking course, who’s even surprised? THIS SONG MAKES ME WANNA RIDE DEWDROP OFF INTO THE SUNSET LIKE A PANICKY MUSTANG AND THE KEYTAR SOLO MAKES ME WANNA PUNCH A NUN except for the shitty keytar solo in Argentina (but we don’t talk about that in this house). Schammasch, Metanoia –hnngh there are no fucking words for this beauty. None. The video is beautiful and the song just blows me away. Carach Angren, Bloodstains on the Captain’s Log –🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤 I just love Carach so much!!!!! *screams into the void* Schammasch, Golden Light –again, no fucking words. Stellar imagery and hnngh I will forever be indebted to @kidzbopdeathmetal for introducing me to so many new metal bands. Bless you. My Chemical Romance, Famous Last Words –lmfao one of these is not like the others 😹 forever MCR trash, no shame. Batushka, Yekteniya 3 –it took me a minute to get into Batushka, but now I love them 😻 Taking Back Sunday, MakeDamnSure –I’ve been so into metal lately that I forgot my emo kid days, so it’s a culture shock when they pop up on my song list out of the blue lmfao Schammasch, Above the Stars of God –I give up on fangirling over each song individually because FUCK I am fangirling all over the place with each song that pops up. So just assume I’m flailing and flinging myself into the void unless otherwise specified. Ultar, Azathoth Myrkur, Ulvinde Septicflesh, 3rd Testament –F U C K the entire Codex Omega album has me flailing hnngh Carach Angren, Charles Francis Coghlan Evanescence, Lithium Sevdaliza, Human Soundgarden, Black Hole Sun Priest, The Pit Katatonia, Old Heart Falls Gojira, Stranded Opeth, Sorceress Mastodon, Steambreather Escape The Fate, Cellar Door Thursday, Signals Over the Air Finch, What It Is To Burn Subvision, Lady Morgue MCC, THC Subvision, Scenario Ghost, Cirice F U C K Okay I’m stopping it here or you’re just gonna get my entire song collection listed out. I’m tapping out. My fingers are cramping. Take me away, boys. Because I’m always looking for new bands, I want everyone who sees this to do it and tag me in your own! But since I’ve gotta tag some people and drag them into this kicking and screaming…😘

@excuseforaking @ghoulstars @per-aspera-ad-inferi-x @hannibalssweaters @kidzbopdeathmetal @petalplush @nicolettes-still-amess @catwife @catacombsaint @the-quintessential-0wl @ghuleh-101 @arcusxx @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash

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theultravioletcatastrophe · 7 years

Text

Heya, new followers! You may have noticed that I like to post those ask meme thingies (and I like to ask people stuff when they post them too!). Occasionally I come across an interesting one, but it’s way too long to want to bother with posting (not only because it clogs up your dash, but because I don’t wanna make you pick from this giant list). So, I do what I always do and just go ahead and answer every question anyway, all in one post! It’s below the break.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? "...what the FUCK did we do?" (the last person I texted was my dad lol)

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? We're married, mostly.

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? As long as they weren't actively causing themselves harm, absolutely not.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? Yep.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober. I don't really get drunk anymore.

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? Yes.

7. What does your last received text say? "Ok thanx" (again, my dad)

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? Infinity billion times.

9. Where was your last kiss at? On our bed.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? I don't have a sister ;_; (although I do have a friend who is like a sister) (but I haven't seen her in a long time) ;_;

11. What do you drink in the morning? Water, mostly. Sometimes I'll make coffee when I get to work.

12. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed.

13. Do you think relationships are hard? Yes. Fulfilling, worth it, but hard.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Not really. #liveinthemoment #noragrets

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? Yes, namely, why are we locked in a room, how do we get out, and who locked us in here, anyway?

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? Depends on my mood. I generally prefer sunny days but sometimes you just want the sky to cry for you, y'know?

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? Nope.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? Pajama pants, since I’m going to bed soon.

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? Yes.

20. Does anyone like you? :)

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? I... think so?

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? Maybe a little bit. Definitely less gay than me, and I'm only like 15% gay, so

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? Not anymore. Not anymore...

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? Yes! However I am so good at procrastinating that I've never gotten around to actually designing what I want. One of these days soon.

25. In the past week have you cried? Crying is, at *minimum*, a weekly occurrance for me.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? I'unno, mutt? He's got some black lab, some German shepherd, some husky, and who knows what else in him.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? In the shower. I hate stepping out of the shower when I'm wet.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? Nope.

29. Do you think you’re old? Sometimes.

30. Do you like text messaging? Yes! It's super useful and after having resisted getting a cell phone for so long, I can't believe I've ever lived without it.

31. What type of day are you having? Okay. Not awful but not great. Just okay.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Nah, not my style.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm, absolutely, 100%. Fuck winter lol

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Many.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? I mean, both are fun. It depends on the person, I guess.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? Hmm, I'll take the diplomatic answer and say that I'm both at certain times.

37. What song are you listening to? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zbu9KkTHkc

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? Yes. If I don't mean it, I don't say it.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? She's not really a "girl" but yeah.

40. What made you start liking the person you like now? "The person you like now" hahaha okay sure I'll pick one of those people (lol in all seriousness I'm guessing this would refer to my wife and it was our mutual love of anime that first brought us together)

41. When did you last receive a text message? Uh, about 3 hours ago, I guess.

42. What is wrong with you right now? The Anxiety™

43. How well do you know the last female you texted? Like I've lived with her for the past 10 years :P

44. Does anyone disgust you? ...quite a few people actually.

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? I would love to, but I am in fact in a monogamous relationship with someone right now so I'd have to respectfully decline. The gesture would be deeply appreciated and warmly received, however.

46. Are you in a good mood right now? Yes! I had a nice chat with a new friend on here earlier and I'm happy. ^_^

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? My wife, just before she went to bed.

48. What color shirt are you wearing? Black with purple screen-printing on it (it’s my “do it for Planeptune” shirt, toldja I’d never take it off).

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? I hear that kinda stuff a lot.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on? No? I don't think I understand this question.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Of course not, I love her. Always will.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? No...?

53. Do you like rain? Yes! (finally a plain and simple question)

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? Not unless it's to excess.

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? Oh god, so many.

56. Do you like to cuddle? Yes!

57. Are you shy? Yes!

58. Do you get along with girls? I try my best. I get along better with girls than I do with guys though.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last? LOL no (see above for why)

60. What do you carry with you at all times? My phone. Except when I forget it at home haha.

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? Going on 15 years now, so yeah :)

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? Yep.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? Of course.

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? What's with the quotes? I mean, I've been playing Neptunia games lately, and they are cute as hell, so if that counts then yeah. Also I've been watching Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid which is ridiculously cute too.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? The last THREE people I kissed, eh? Hmmm... my wife is 33, my daughter is 3, and... who the hell is the third-last person I kissed? Probably my mother-in-law who is I think 61.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? Depends on what's getting done, I guess. Basic upkeep I'd prefer to do myself, but something fancy I'd want someone else to do.

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? Ew, neither.

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? Not yet, no.

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? I have no idea who Luke Bryan is but I get the feeling that either of these choices are awful and I'd rather just have silence.

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? iPhone.

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? YEARS ago.

73. Do you like diet soda? Hell no.

74. What color are the walls in your room? In this room, they're white; in my bedroom they're a sort of yellowish colour.

75. Are you 16 or older? I'm twice that plus 1.

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? Nope.

77. Do you have a job? Yep.

78. What are your initials? E_F (my middle name is a secret hehe)

79. Did you ever have braces? No, and I wish I did, because maybe then my bottom incisors wouldn't be so fucked up.

80. Are you from the south? Noooooo.

81. What does your last status on facebook say? Hell if I know, haha, I don't use Facebook much.

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? You expect me to remember who that is? Ah hell, it was probably my mom, and no, I don't talk to her anymore (she died last year).

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? I was definitely closer to my mom.

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? Not unless you count taking my daughter to gymnastics :P

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Moana! IN THREE DEE!

86. Do you smoke? Smoke what ;)

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? Flip flops. NOBODY should wear heels.

88. Is your phone touch screen? I would be astonished if someone said "no" to this one.

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? My hair is the only straight thing about me *rim shot*

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? Many times.

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? I've never actually swam in a river before! Of the remaining two options, I prefer a lake.

92. Have you ever made out in a car? Probably.

93. …Had sex in a car? Nope.

94. Are you single or in a relationship? Married.

95. What were you doing last night at midnight? Playing Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth2.

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? ...you know, it was quite a while ago. Years ago. Hmm. :(

97. Do you like the camera on your phone? It's decent, I wish it had native options for controlling exposure and aperture and stuff.

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? Nope. I mean, my wife is my best friend, so does that count? Probably not.

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? No! I have never blacked out or passed out from drinking. I hate getting that drunk.

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Nah, I don't really hate anyone.

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? Nope.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: Any of the ones where her voice doesn't sound like garbage under layers of more garbage.

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? I doubt it, the sun hasn't been strong enough to get a tan in months.

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? I would never wear cowboy boots.

#ask thing #get to know me #about me #long post

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its-a-mosstery · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @thebipolar-express aka the love of my life lol

RULES: tag 10 of your followers you wanna know better.

Nicknames: Nothing except a pronunciation of my name as “a very”

Height: 5′1 lmao

Time right now: 3:25 PST

Last thing I googled: Title IX law

Fave music artist: Just one?! La Dispute

Song stuck in my head: Thoroughly Modern Millie

Last movie I watched: Hidden Figures (highly recommend!!)

Last TV show I watched: The Great British Baking Show

What I’m wearing now: Workout clothes from agility class

When I created this blog: I have been on tumblr since 2008 (archaic, I know). I had a very popular blog but was getting a lot of hate and transphobic messages on my old account, and I wanted a fresh start with my dash too. So here we are, my new aes blog filled with beautiful things that make me happy.

The kind of stuff I post: Nature, animals, witchy things, vegan recipes

 Do I have other blogs: I have 4 (including this one). One is a info blog about service dogs, and one is where I reblog all the handy tips and long text posts I want to reference later but don’t want to clog up my main blog or likes. The last one.... is secret ;)

 Do I get asks regularly: On my old blog I would get probably 5-10 messages a day. Here I rarely get any. It’s probably because I turned off anon.

 Why did I choose my URL: Caesura is a musical term meaning “a break or stop before continuing” and I related to that because of the fact that I was breaking off my old self (and blog) and starting fresh. I added “sure” because it’s another word for “definite” and it rhymes with caesura.

 Gender: Awesome

 Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw represent! (and my Ilvermorny house is Thunderbird)

 Average hours of sleep: I probably manage a solid 7 nowadays

 Favourite Characters: Remus Lupin from Harry Potter, Toph from Avatar, Dr. Owen Hunt and Dr. Cristina Yang from Grey’s Anatomy

 Dream Job: It’s funny because I’m actually doing my dream job right now! Working with an all-positive dog training facility specializing in agility! Perhaps in the future I might open up another one (it’s a franchise) somewhere on the East Coast, then I can work where I want to live!

 Number of blankets I sleep with: At least 3, usually 4-5. Béla sleeps on top of the covers because she gets hot.

 Following: 414 blogs, most of them are either nature/animal photography, witchcraft/pagan blogs, or vegan recipe blogs. I should go and clean out the inactive blogs and follow some new ones!

I have no idea who to tag because I don’t really know any of my mutuals on this new acct but if you’re seeing this and want to do it, do it!!

#meme #tag #that was fun #long post

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space--is--gay · 6 years

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do all of em for both

If you really wanna read all of these you can, but if not I’m not about to clog up your dash lmao

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Nope, I love Ashley but thats TOO FAR2. You talked to an ex today, correct? nah3. Have you taken someones virginity? Nope4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yeah, and some people didnt help that much5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? Not in a couple weeks. I think she’s coming to see me this weekend tho6. What are you excited for? This weekend lol7. What happened tonight? I took a nap & woke up in a great mood8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Nah, let them live their lives, dude9. Is confidence cute? Yesssss10. What is the last beverage you had? Gatorade11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? 012. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? I only own skinny jeans. You can pry them from my cold dead hands13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? Not sure yet14. What are you going to spend money on next? Probably coffee tbh15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? NO16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I sure hope so17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Briannaaaa18. The last time you felt broken? I really don’t know (which is so cool!!!!)19. Have you had sex today? Bruh, I’ve never had sex20. Are you starting to realize anything? I like what happiness feels like, and I like having people in my life who actually care about me21. Are you in a good mood? Yes22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? Alright so I saw 47 Meters Down and the answer is a definite negative23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nope24. What do you want right this second? A kiss from someone tbh25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? I mean, it would suck but I’m not her girlfriend so I can’t really say much26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? unfortunately27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? No way28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably myself or a meme tbh29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? I think so, but ya still gotta be careful31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? I don’t even remember the last boy I talked to32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yep33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? I drink 1 a month34. Listening to? Fletcher35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? Sometimes36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Probably in New York but that’s just a guess lol37. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yeah38. Who did you last call? My mom39. Who was the last person you danced with? Man i dont even know40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? I loved her41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? I don’t remember42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? Nope43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? My life is an embarrassment, so yes44. Do you tan in the nude? I don’t do anything except shower in the nude45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? I don’t think so, actually46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? Nope47. Who was the last person to call you? Mom48. Do you sing in the shower? If i’m home alone49. Do you dance in the car? Sometimes50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Yes, it was difficult51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 8th grade?52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes, but i love them53. Is Christmas stressful? Yes54. Ever eat a pierogi? a what now?55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Apple56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Teacher, Orthodontist, Chef57. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? occasionally59. Take a vitamin daily? I actually just bought some to start taking60. Wear slippers? Nope61. Wear a bath robe? Nope62. What do you wear to bed? Usually just a t-shirt and underwear63. First concert? The Cheetah Girls64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Walmart but just bc its the only thing we have65. Nike or Adidas? Adidas tbh66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Depends on the day68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Hey Stephen69. Ever take dance lessons? Nope70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? Not really71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes72. Ever won a spelling bee? YES in the 3rd grade73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes74. What is your favorite book? The Outsiders 75. Do you study better with or without music? with76. Regularly burn incense? nope77. Ever been in love? Yes78. Who would you like to see in concert? Halsey or Fletcher79. What was the last concert you saw? I don’t even remember tbh80. Hot tea or cold tea? Cold & sweet81. Tea or coffee? Coffee82. Favorite type of cookie? Chocolate Chip 83. Can you swim well? Eh84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? No85. Are you patient? NO WAY JOSE86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ87. Ever won a contest? yes, i won several webkinz in 4th grade (like 12)88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope89. Which are better black or green olives? Neither90. Opinions on sex before marriage? You do you, dude91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room92. Do you want to get married? Absolutely

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? I don’t have a closet door sooooo2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? Not usually3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? I don’t use a top sheet sooooo4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? Nope, but there’s one near my house I want to steal5: Do you like to use post-it notes? Yeah i do6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Always7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Neither?????8: Do you have freckles? Not really9: Do you always smile for pictures? Nah, i kinda hate my smile so10: What is your biggest pet peeve? I don’t really know, I have a lot of them lol11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? I do, actually. I didnt realize it until recently12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Indeed13: What about pooped in the woods? Nah bro14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Not really15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? Not chew, but I put the caps to my pens in my mouth16: How many people have you slept with this week? 017: What size is your bed? Full 18: What is your Song of the week? Mine by Bazzi19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yeah, you do you, bro20: Do you still watch cartoons? They’re funnier than most other tv so21: Whats your least favorite movie? TITANIC22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Not telling my secrets23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size? Why does it matter?24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Honey mustard usually25: What is your favorite food? Mac and Cheese26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Pirates of the Caribbean (any of them)27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? Mafe (and i’m sick of saying it so someone kiss me PLEASE)28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? I was indeed29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? They would pay me to put my clothes back on so30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I wrote one for J’s birthday31: Can you change the oil on a car? Nope32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? NOpe33: Ever ran out of gas? NOpe34: Favorite kind of sandwich? PB&J35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Grits 36: What is your usual bedtime? Whenever I pass out37: Are you lazy? Yeah, I guess38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? One year I was bubblegum under the table39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? I really dunno40: Are you horny? Almost always41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Nope42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legosssss43: Are you stubborn? Ask any of my friends (or ex’s) and the answer is definitely yes44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman? Neither, Fallon.45: Ever watch soap operas? I used to with my Grandma46: Are you afraid of heights? Yepppp47: Do you sing in the car? Always48: Do you sing in the shower? When i’m home alone49: Do you dance in the car? Sometimes50: Ever used a gun? Yeah, I used to when I was younger, but I haven’t in years

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