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borisbubbles · 4 months

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Eurovision 2023: #20 - #19

20. AZERBAIJAN TuranTuralX - "Tell me more" 34th place

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Decade Ranking: 58/116 [Above Achille, below Anxela]

lmfao, the twins made my top 20?! I mean, yeah 2023. Of course they made my top 20. [AlexaVoice] PLEASE LEAVE A VOICE MESSAGE WITH YOUR COMPLAINT FOR VERTICAL CLASSIFICATION IN THE COMMENTS BELOW. [/AlexaVoice]

Now here's an entry that serves as a physical embodiment of the "Presence That Was Liked". Yeah it was mid, but a pleasant mid. The twins were never leaving the semifinal alive. They were always going to be the sacrificial lambs of the newly invented "No Jurors During Semi's rule" which specifically targeted Azerbaijan (and... props to Azer for accepting their fate? lol) Turan and Tural were never being more than passengers along for a ride, which they took to heart.

"Tell me more" was all it needed to be. An inconspicuous NQ that was still cute and endearing in its own sort of way. The dreamy and drawly vibe

The imitation 70s aesthetic that convincingly sells the 90s softrock.

Add in a rap verse during minute one, a couple of fashionable scarfs, good camera cuts,...

Yeah "Tell me more" had zero televote appeal (this 100% dies even with juries being in), but as an entry it's refreshingly unpretentious and especially from Azerbaijan, wtf? Usually Azer pick some shitty Swedish pop track and force it on a conventionally attractive jazz muppet who then can't be bothered to do preparties or interviews. This year, their rep was a pair of homely deer-in-headlight twinkbeasts operating under a myspace name who were actually happy to be there and actively mingled with the fans. There some delicious irony and melodramatic twang to be found in the knowledge that by effectively throwing their 2023 qualification, Azer have shown more respect to the contest than they'd ever done before.

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19. FRANCE La Zarra - "Évidemment" 16th place

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Decade ranking: 56/116 [Above Anxela, below El Diablo]

Yes I know what you're here for;

But you'll have to wait because I am here to rate the performance first. Yep, slightly ahead of the MySpace Twinks on my list seems just about right for a La Zarra. "Évidemment" represent the other side of "mid", the one where the promise is large and the delivery not quite as large. As a song "Évidemment" was kind of a blueballer: Sure, it had a lot of poise, flair, drama, a wee bit of camp and yet...barely any substance. It was The French Entry, like that was its entire identity, almost to a point of parody. And well, France competes every year and is usually better than "LES POISSONS LES POISSONS HI HI HI HÔN HÔN HÔN". donc, pleurez-moi une rivière de pute. I'm having a laugh but seriously, not picking a lane between serious attempt and self-deprecating satire that was the difference between a sixth place and a sixteenth place.

Still, I at first thought France were headed towards a disastrous bottom five result, especially after that rehearsal clip implied LaZarra was on the same Vocal Rest Tonics as Mae Muller. I WAS GONNA BE PROVEN RIGHT AND VINDICATED!!! and well, I was but not about her. (ty Blanca Paloma, we'll rank you soon enough)

When it mattered most, La Zarra got it together, and NAILED that epic big note.

No complaints from me about that live. It was a good live and did what it needed to do. I like it when the headliners deliver what they're supposed to (see also: Azer delivering a pleasant NQ) because it makes the show better overall. Obviously that doesn't erase the fact that (1) the song was mid as fuck (2) the staging was daft at best. ("MON DIEUX I WEAR HAUTE COUTURE, ACT LIKE A DIVA, AM THE EIFFEL TOWER, SOUND LIKE PIAF, LOOK THERE'S A TRICOLORE I AM SOOOO FRENCH!!" um no ur not, ur from Montréal stfu).

Okay so now we address this:

Sure, an uproarious voting moment and it was sooooo stank, but was it fun stank? 🤔 idk.

On one hand, LMFAO WHAT AN ENTITLED FUCKING SOW. 😍😍😍😍😍. The Xwitter trolls immediately began spinning their fanfictions all "WELL ACTUALLY what she did was a secret gesture of respect in Maghrebian cultures" like bitch, she's (1) a QUEBECOIS (2) who cosplayed as the Eiffel Tower and a disco ball unironically, how hinged do you think she is? Her gesture definitely was the sort of melodramatic Egomaniac reaction I'd expect from someone who deliberately caused a pre-show stir by posting an Insta Story all "It's getting to me!!! I'm QUITTING 😭😭 // Cigarettes: "Eurovision?! 😨" // La Zarra: ".... non i meant the gluten, mdrrrr!!!!! 😆". So yes, the moment itself was pretty funnay 2 me, esp since she got twice points I thought's she'd get.

On the other hand, um take a seat you entitled fucking sow. There is serving cunt and then there is straight up being a cunt. The difference is that you have to earn your glamourcunt label and you, madame, were always in "Good but not Great" territory. Be grateful there were any scraps left for you after Käärijä and Loreen gobbled.

In conclusion, lmfao i kinda dislike her as a person (but better she show the world how rude and misguided she is after losing than after getting a top ten) and I genuinely enjoy thinking about her messiness more than listening to her music. 🙂 (so I guess that makes her Taylor Swift.)

Besides, around 16th is where France usually ends up at anyway, so I think they got precisely what they were aiming for, GJ France. 🙂 Now let's not think about this country until the end of March, when it becomes semi-important for me to remember what their entrant's (who?) song (what?) sounds like again.

THE RANKING

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #ESC 2023 #Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #BorisBubbles #France #La Zarra #Evidemment #Azerbaijan #TuranTuralX #Tell Me More #Youtube

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arcadiaseer · 11 months

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i know eurovision is over but can we talk about mother la zarra's super gorgeous figure? i am so blessed to have eyes 😍

#i am drooling #i might be pregnant #la zarra #baby #fatima zahra hafdi #eurovision #esc 2023 #eurovision france #united by music #france #evidemment #la mother #la auto show

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girlsofeurovision · 11 months

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La Zarra | France 2023

#la zarra #girls_of_eurovision #france eurovision #evidemment #eurovision 2023

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danakodraws · 1 year

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#la zarra #la france #procreate app #esc2023 #eurovision #evidemment

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anotherescsite · 11 months

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#la zarra #france #esc #eurovision #evidemment #2023

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glindasbubbles · 10 months

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im so fucking gay

#la zarra #evidemment #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #esc 2023

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teawatchesesc · 10 months

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no bc the evidemment duet version was made just for me actually

#GREECE STAYS WINNING RAHH 🇬🇷🇬🇷🇬🇷#(not really but still)#obsessed #la zarra #katerina stikoudi #evidemment #esc2023 #eurovision

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stolligaseptember · 11 months

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why the fuck did no one tell me that this was what the tall pretty lady was singing about

#also absolutely losing my mind over this because in swedish we also call a loin a 'frenchwoman'#évidemment #evidemment #la zarra #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2023 #france #swearing tw

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artisan-dino-nuggets · 1 year

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#la zarra #esc2023 #esc france #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #evidemment #esc twitter

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notesofseptember · 11 months

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Car moi je chante

Ma vie, la vôtre

#évidemment #evidemment #la zarra #eurovision #eurovision 2023 #eurovision song contest #esc #esc 2023 #france #a september song #Spotify

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borisbubbles · 1 year

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Eurovision 2023 PRESHOW - Part 6: EUROFAVE SLAUGHTER!!

Yep. Not deliberately, but that’s basically what this post will been seen as. Gotta get rid of the Good But Not Great Songs before I discuss the 10 I actually care about, and as it happens that group includes five eurofan faves :-)

Oh and while rehearsals will have started when this goes up, I will NOT be taking them into account for reviews and predictions from this point forward :-)

15. France La Zarra - Evidemment Autoqualifier

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Yep, a “lowish” score for France. 🙂 (She’s fifteenth and solidly in 7.5/10 territory but w/e I know my readers) Idk, “Évidemment” kinda speaks for itself. Campy disco pop. <3 It’s OBVIOUSLY meant to entice the gays and ~La Zarra~ has done that with very little effort. I also really like it. Problem is, darlings, is that France kinda... doesn’t go anywhere? Évidemment is fully carried by La Zarra doing très dramatique things in the MV, and it is very gay, but when I have to make a fin de cuenta, there’s always ONE song I forget about and more often than not it’s this one. AND I GENUINELY REALLY LIKE FRANCE EACH TIME I HEAR THEIR SONG. It’s sooooo La Noche Es Para Mi in that regard.

Rarely is a song this enjoyable also this forgettable... which:

Odds at Eurovision - FRANCE

Controversial Hot Take ALERT!!! I think France are going to flop badly, specifically in the televote.

Songwise, Évidemment is in an awkward spot where it’s definitely good, but not the best at anything in particular. There no direct incentive to vote for France over, say, any of the other faves, unless you count La Zarra’s sharp sense of dress. The sheer lack of a strong USP is going to kill France if they’re not careful.

Now of course, staging can patch up their chances, so maybe I’m wrong and France will knock it out of the park. Thing is, based on the information I have pre-rehearsals, which is the song and the singer (no doubt La Zarra is an engaging lead but i sometimes worry for her mental integrity after her double drop out of Amsterdam and London) AND #GlutenGate), France could very well be one of this year’s token bottom five autoqualifiers.

In fact, I see NO OTHER autoqualifier in that role! Spain, Ukraine and Italy are top 10, UK close with a banger and Germany are getting their best televote result in centuries. We’re likely getting a semifinalist in last place (hi Reiley!), but the AQs often have a few near the bottom of the leaderboard.

So for the sake of argument, I’m going to just say that France flop, with the caveat that I’m happy with being proven wrong in twelve days from now. :-)

Projected placement: 17th-25th

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14. SERBIA Luke Black - “Samo mi se spava” Semi 1, slot #03

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HELLO?! 👁👄👁

G A Y O V E R 🏳‍🌈

Luke is in a strange spot for me. I went into PZE rooting for him to win. Then he did and even though I was (and am) pleased with the result I am still mourning Nada and Filip Balos? Like I fucking LOOOOVED Ruta Mur and I almost instantly forgave Monika for beating her by comparison.

So, the good bits about ~Samo Mi Se Spava~. It’s really fucking funny. An ageing twink with a simpering gayvoice doing adlips and gundhams while serving Metroid and Pokémon Ruby realness. Luke whinces his little “spaaaaaaavaiiiiiiiii’s” with the same cadence and timbre as the Quagsires saying their own name in the Pokémon animé. YES, YES PLEASE!

The bad bits - NOT ENOUGH CRAYFISH!!!!

Yet, these fun bits about SNSP also kinda prevent me from ranking it higher? Maybe I’m getting old, but Novi Plan, Drugi San was a song and not an art project gone disastrously awry, and I would have cherished a real song more in the 2023 line-up. Like, I laugh (read: grin) every time I hear “Samo mi se spava” but it’s also difficult to take it seriously as an act. Right now, I’m not sure whether it’s laughing with or laughing at, ya know?

HELLO? :limpwrist: GAME OVER is forever though ♥

Odds at Eurovision - SERBIA

What if Serbia are a shock NQ? 👀

Yes, I know what you’re thinking. No way right?! There are too many obvious NQs in the first semifinal. And yet, what if Malta are good, what if Czechia are good, what if Switzerland are somehow not godawful, and suddenly it’s not looking too hot for the other fringe qualifiers.

Most people would gravitate towards Latvia dying in case of a borderline NQ glowing up, but idk. I think an ageing twink with a simpering voice would for some reason (homophobia) struggle in getting votes. Especially if their song is something you could ostentibly laugh at.

Also, Serbia are on third, which is a REALLY bad draw. What about Konstrakta who was also on third last year and almost won the televote in the semi you say? Irrelevant, i’m afraid. Konstrakta was the living embodiment of sarcasm and gave us one of the best meme choreos in Biti Zdrava. She was also the ONLY viable artistic entry in her semifinal. The only reason she didn’t win the televote outright (nb: she lost the tiebreaker to Cornelia) was because of her bad draw.

Meanwhile Luke has to compete with Croatia and Finland who are both on later, in more favourable spots. Like he’s getting the votes of Croatia and maybe Switzerland, but will that be enough by itself?

So while I don’t believe Serbia are NQ’ing, I do think they’re like barely scraping by in 9th or 10th without taking rehearsal footage into account. Which is a risky spot to be in.

If Serbia qualify, they’ll get their usual lower midtable result, with votes from their minions and nobody else. It might be an even lower finish this time around, because Croatia and Slovenia are both outplacing Serbia and twelving for each other, I think.

Qualifier Tier: C Projected placement: 9th-12th (Semi Final), 17th-22nd (Grand Final)

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13. NORWAY Alessandra - “Queen of Kings” Semi 1, slot #01

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Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiindsiiiiide.

Ya sorry, I quite like Norway too, but I don’t love “Queen of Kings” anymore. The window where I NEEDED to cling to Alessandra for my sanity (thanks to 2023′s VERY slow start) has finally passed and I’ve moved on to better and more wholesome songs. ☺

Not to say that “Queen of Kings” doesn’t have its charms - It IS a nice adaptation of Klara Hammarström’s “Run to the hills” - Gaymer soundtrack that outpaces its own nightcore with pseudo-fantasy thematics. 😍😍😍 With lyrics that are a JOY to misremember (”NOTHING IN THIS WOULD CAN STOP THE SPREAD OF A WITCH” 😍)

And also, MGP was bad and shaping up to be an Ulrikke coronation with her frankensteined Husavik nonsense, so I was ELATED when one of the few acts that I liked (the one I liked the least out of the three I liked, because of course) crushed the numbers on both votes. Since then, I’ve kinda outgrown Alessandra though oops. As I said, this year does two things very well: Fun lightweight uptempo pop, and rock music. Alessandra belongs to the trashier wing of the former and while that it fun and good, several others just do it a bit better.

ALSO, there are a few problems but i’ll discuss them in the:

Odds at Eurovision - NORWAY

There’s been this discourse amongst the fans whether Norway are going to come top five this year.

I am asking myself whether they’re even top ten. They probably are but I’d say lower half.

Like yeah, Alessandra is a favourite because a few idiots placed some large juicy bets on Norway, but here’s the tea guys: Alessandra isn’t that good without NRK’s precious autotune. I thought she was easily the worst of the night in Amsterdam and that has not been the only occasion where she failed several of the big important notes. Sickness, tiredness, saving her voice, the usual excuses, but Occam’s Razor states that they were bad performances, period.

Now, QoK is not a song that requires flawless vocals to be enjoyable or successful. However, the singing needs to also not be AWFUL in a detrimental way. Alessandra’s vocals have been approaching that level lately, and that leads me to believe she could be this year’s designated Fan Flop (it’s very clearly either her or La Zarra imo). if she manages to turn off juries and casuals via off-key wailing, it might be the end of the road for her.

Regardless of how well or how poorly she performs in Liverpool though, I think she’s a surefire qualifier. But the range on her final placement is massive thanks to her -let’s say- not very consisent live track record.

Qualifier Tier: A Projected placement: 3rd-8th (Semi), 7th-15th

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12. SWEDEN Loreen - “Tattoo” Semi 1, slot #11

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If you thought this was a place where “Tattoo” is venerated and worshipped, you must have taken a wrong turn (or not read my posts in the last 30 days lol).

And if you thought this was a place where Tattoo would rank low, you’re also wrong because I’m not an idiot lol. It’s good, I just don’t think it’s the best thing since sliced Duncan Laurence. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

God how DO we tackle a problem like Loreen, though? I think the FIRST thing is that we have to do is acknowledge. Acknowledge that she likely wins Eurovision for the second time. Acknowledge that 11 years after Euphoria, Loreen still HAS the skills, the talent, the drive to impress. Acknowledge that she’s the GOAT. Acknowledge that, despite the fact that I VERY MUCH DO NOT WANT HER TO WIN AGAIN, she provided yet another memorable entry that people will talk about in years to come. STUCK ON US LIKE A TATTOO SHE IS.

However, let’s also be honest: Tattoo’s popularity has little to do with the song, and almost everything to do with Loreen herself.

Personally, I get that because I also enjoy “Tattoo” for similar reasons. I love Loreen and I love her music. Perhaps it’s because I love Loreen’s music (including her non-ESC tracks) that I’m not that in love? Tattoo” is one of the least good tracks she’s ever released. It’s no “Euphoria”, it’s no “My heart is refushing me”, it’s no “Statements”. It’s not “Heal” or “We got the power”.

“Tattoo” is a McSong and the gays are lovin’ it, but insert any vaguely EDM/Dance song by her majesty here and the gays would STILL stan it because QUEEN LOREEN. In a sense she’s #DoingIt4TheFans/Fags and that’s very thoughtful of her, but pushing for her win for those reasons takes it a bit far, don’t you think?

Yet, this is exactly what’s going on right now.

For me the base principle for returnees is this: If you come back to the contest, be as good as you were before, or better. “Tattoo” is not better than “Euphoria” (not even REMOTELY close), ergo it should do worse. As my co-editor James pointed out, Loreen’s staging is reminiscent of a photocopier, and that’s exactly what "Tattoo” feels like - a pallid Euphoria retread, but one with a thematic difference: Euphoria was a triumph in the name of love, whereas Tattoo is funerary dirge putting the love she earned to rest. It tastes of defeat. It may be a small nuance, but it is the difference that separates goodness from greatness.

Odds at Eurovision - SWEDEN

Easy top three.

I’m tempted to say Loreen wins and idk whether it’s being gaslit by the Tattooheads, or the fact that the radio stations are ALREADY spamming Tattoo while ignoring everyone else (X__X) or my brain on copium, but good lord, the more time goes by the MORE it looks like a straight-up coronation.

I personally find that lowkey sickening because, again, this contest is very enjoyable and it doesn’t need a saviour in Loreenus Christ. Crowning Loreen while disregarding everyone else is an affront to ESC 2023, if you ask me, and regressive to the contest as a whole.

Now, realistically, If Loreen wins, it’ll probably be in a Jamala-style split. It’s not impossible that Blanca wins Jury, and Käärijâ wins Televote. It’s also conceivable that Loreen comes second in both Jury and Televote, allowing her to beat both Spain and Finland for Gold. I really comes down to how high Finland’s Televote is.

The way I see it, Liverpool 2023 is Loreen’s contest to lose. I hope she does, because I will enjoy Tattoo SIGNIFICANTLY MORE as a second or third placer, but regardless: it is Käärijä who has to catch up on her, and not the other way around in this two horse race for first place.

Qualifier Tier: A+ Projected placement: 2nd (Semi), 1st-3rd (Grand Final) (Prediction: 1st)

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11. CZECHIA Vesna - “My sister’s Crown” Semi 1, Slot #13

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From this point onwards, you can say that every entry is has been a lowkey obssession at a certain point during the season. 🙂

That said, I have a few caveats for Czech Rep’s (or should we say: Czechia’s) entry. NONE of which have to do with one of them being Russian, I don’t fucking CAAAAAAAAAAARE. I don’t CAAAARE that they’re referencing the war or singing in Ukrainian. All I care about is good music and crazy trash novelty, and Vesna frickin’ provide. “My sister’s crown” is frantic frankenstein mess, sporting FOUR languages, a random rap break and clear shift in tone between dark verses and a lighter chorus.

And yet it works really well? The studio version of “My sister’s crown” is excellent and fully explains how Vesna overwhelmingly won the vote in Czechia. Every aspect blends in well with each other, creating a song that I loooove to have on repeat.

Now, this is the studio version of course... Unfortunately for Vesna we have live performances out there, and they are... not as good. 😬

I think the fundamental problem for Vesna is that during live shows they rarely feel as a unit. It too often boils down to six women on equal footing competing against each other for attention. This + the fact that the harmonies haven’t been great lately, kinda push it out of the top 10 for me! Sorry qorls!

Odds at Eurovision - CZECHIA

Same principle as Serbia, rly. Czechia COULD be a shock NQ if Europe suddenly decide that both Malta and Latvia are worth voting for. That said, I think a Czech NQ would require more effort, specifically more effort from Vesna into becoming a messier version of Tulia. Czechia’s draw is, after all, pretty good, right between Azer and NL.

That said, because “My sister’s crown” often teeters on trainwreck territory, I’m tempted to say that Czechia aren’t going to do too well in the Grand Final. The Czechs really need to look into their staging and make Vesna feel like ONE FORCE, working with each other to get their message across. I personally would take the three ladies who don’t sing and dress them up as the men from the VC then use them as foil to the three who do provide the vocals. Anything that minimizes the clutter is a welcome addition.

if the Czech do get it all together (which I doubt because even in Amsterdam the vocals weren’t as good as they should be), they could finish somewhere left-side. It’s is just more likely that they won’t. Czechia are behind in the race, and who knows what rehearsals will bring.

Qualifier Tier: C Projected placement: 6th-11th (Semi), 11th-19th (Grand Final)

THE RANKING:

Part 1: The BAD entries (Switzerland / Croatia / Israel / Greece) Part 2: the IRRELEVANT entries (Ireland / Albania / Netherlands / San Marino) Part 3: The Borewhores (Estonia / Ukraine / Cyprus / Italy) Part 4: The Respectable Entries (That Aren’t For Me) (Georgia / Denmark / Spain / Germany / Azerbaijan) Part 5: The Mild Likes (Romania / Poland / Latvia / Armenia / Lithuania)

Next up: the lower half of my top 10 :-)

#Eurovision 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #ESC 2023 #France #La Zarra #Evidemment #Serbia #Luke Black #Samo mi se spava #Norway #Alessandra #King of Queens #Loreen #Tattoo #Sweden #Czechia #Vesna #My sister's crown

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arcadiaseer · 11 months

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i am playing around with an ai photo app and used la zarra's pictures to generate these gorgeous ai versions of her ❤️

#suprisingly beautiful #i love it #la zarra #france #eurovision #esc 2023 #la mother #evidently #united by music #evidemment #ai generated

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wakemeupinmay · 1 year

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My thoughts on the Eurovision songs this year

1. 🇦🇱 Albania - Duje - Albina & Familja Kelmendi

VERY dramatic, but I could shake my ass to the part in which she isn’t singing

2. 🇦🇲 Armenia - Future Lover - Brunette

„I just wanna make art, read books, be loved and called a good girl“ okay ma'am that’s everyone ur not special

3. 🇦🇺 Australia - Promise - Voyager

Do we know why they are headbanging this much? It couldn’t be bc of this song right?

4. 🇦🇹 Austria - Who the hell is Edgar? - Teya & Salena

Not often is a song made spicier by adding some church singing

5. 🇦🇿 Azerbaijan - Tell me more - TuralTuranX

I have just watched the video for the third time and I start to suspect that there is more than one guy singing, I could be wrong tho

6. 🇧🇪 Belgium - Because of you - Gustaph

He looks like a gay musketeer + weirdly enough this song doesn’t make me want to dance, it makes me want to walk???

7. 🇭🇷 Croatia - Mama ŠČ - Let 3

Thankfully for them I love chaos and not knowing what is going on, BUT I did get scared for a second when they undressed

8. 🇨🇾 Cyprus - Break a broken heart - Andrew Lambrou

I am mesmerized but that won’t get me to like the song :/

9. 🇨🇿 Czechia - My sister‘s crown - Vesna

Idk guys, is this a good song or does it just have a good message? It doesn’t bop for me, I’m so sorry I tried

10. 🇩🇰 Denmark - Breaking my heart - Reiley

Okay, do we also have a version in which we can hear his voice in the chorus better? Thanks, the distorted one playing over his singing is a no no. I dig the outfit tho 10/10 very cute

11. 🇪🇪 Estonia - Bridges - Alika

Don’t worry guys, Estonia is bringing the compulsory piano to the contest this year

12. 🇫🇮 Finland - Cha Cha Cha - Käärijä

Very entertaining and very eurovision by the hulk goblin king, very appreciated by me :)

13. 🇫🇷 France - Évidemment - La Zarra

This. woman. has. the. most. snatched. waist. I. have. ever. seen. Other than that, once again France does what it does best, which is being french

14. 🇬🇪 Georgia - Echo - Iru

Did she get turned into a white worm halfway through? + They surely get the award of „lyrics that make the least sense“ this year. „THIS FEELING IS LORD“

15. 🇩🇪 Germany - Blood & Glitter - Lord of the lost

So happy for Germany leaving its shell for once but maybe reconsider the red latex suit. Otherwise they are really cute and make me smile

16. 🇬🇷 Greece - What they say - Victor Vernicos

How did Greece get Tom Shelby’s son dressed like a school boy from the 1940ies to sing about his hurt feelings?

17. 🇮🇸 Iceland - Power - Diljá

So sad Iceland couldn’t keep up the streak of rly good entries. Unfortunately this song holds no PPPPower over me

18. 🇮🇪 Ireland - We are one - Wild Youth

Don’t worry guys, our knights in shining masks are here to save us. Not rly tho, the song is not that much fun :/

19. 🇮🇱 Israel - Unicorn - Noa Kirel

A song called Unicorn has no business being this serious

20. 🇮🇹 Italy - Due vite - Marco Mengoni

What can I tell u…. It’s definitely Italys entry + Does he sound like an italian Michael Jackson???

21. 🇱🇻 Latvia - Aijā - Sudden Lights

The last time I saw lights like these on stage Germany got 0 points, be careful Latvia

22. 🇱🇹 Lithuania - Stay - Monika Linkytė

What does Čiūto tūto mean?

23. 🇲🇹 Malta - Dance (our own party) - The Busker

I see you Malta, trying to have your own little epic sax moment

24. 🇲🇩 Moldova - Soarele si Luna - Pasha Parfeni

This felt like a spiritual fever dream + gotta love the nuns in the crowd

25. 🇳🇱 Netherlands - Burning Daylight - Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

This song is all the stages of grief I go through once my favourite does not win eurovision

26. 🇳🇴 Norway - Queen of Kings - Alessandra

Aye aye captain we stan! BUT I would have looooved if the show (costumes, dance,…) were a cringey eurovisiony pirate thing

27. 🇵🇱 Poland - Solo - Blanka

Why is it giving parody of rich spoiled brat that thinks she can sing bc daddy said so?

28. 🇵🇹 Portugal - Ai Coração - Mimicat

I like it, it’s not a ballad and fun also she looks exactly how I would imagine a Mimicat

29. 🇷🇴 Romania - D.G.T. (Off and On) - Theodor Andrei

I didn’t expect to be going to an underage bondage strip club tonight.

30. 🇸🇲 San Marino - Like an animal - Piqued Jacks

He is giving me mixed signals. Am I sexy Aphrodite or do I stink and am poisonous? Why is he chasing me? Is that good or bad? I’m worried

31. 🇷🇸 Serbia - Samo mi she spava - Luke Black

He is very much Melovin coded but I do connect with the message an awful lot

32. 🇸🇮 Slovenia - Carpe Diem - Joker Out

It’s good, I get the hype, curious what they’ll do on stage tho

33. 🇪🇸 Spain - Eaea - Blanca Paloma

Is it allowed to perform religious rituals on stage?

34. 🇸🇪 Sweden - Tattoo - Loreen

After that huge TV fell on that one kpop performers head this performance makes me extra nervous

35. 🇨🇭 Switzerland - Watergun - Remo Forrer

Don’t worry Remo, Switzerland is one of the safest countries on earth

36. 🇺🇦 Ukraine - Heart of Steel - Tvorchi

I think I have never been more surprised by a country sending a generic pop song. Or maybe it was to be expected the most rn. It’s not bad by any means but also def not a winner and everyone knows that

37. 🇬🇧 United Kingdom - I wrote a song - Mae Muller

If I don’t see the name Mae Muller on the writing credits to this song I will absolutely throw a fit

(List of videos I watched)

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