I always love when people say my art is so "shaped" like it brings me so much happiness because I LOVEE shape language. But I easily dismiss myself not being good at it or seeing it in the way some of you describe. Especially when you talk about movements, but I try hard. Maybe not being consistent and trying out things aren't that bad after all.

Thank you so much for your support, I'm bad at replying or commenting, but I see what you're all writing and it makes me so so happy 🫶

the adults that were around me growing up were flimsy and untrustworthy at best. Inconsistent parenting ran rapid, and when they weren’t around I was relieved. Those people stole a lot from me. Body mind and soul, a lot of my ‘choices’ were never mine to begin with. A lot of what happened to my body was unfortunate, unpredicted and unprecedented, but the way it was handled still unnerves me. My home environment is “open” so long as it is beneficial to my parents’ lifestyle. My choices matter so long as they are profitable and attractive, and if they are anything but, they are condemned. What I want never really matters. 

I got very nostalgic in a very odd way. 

The fact that so many people keep mispronouncing the hearthians saddens me. Because the developers actively chose they/them pronouns and made them Non-binary.

I understand that it's the norm and many people/streamers just say he/him by default because they're male themselves (since a lot of famous streamers are unfortunately still dominated by men), but I wish they would be more observant. And then people pointing out that its not a big deal when we correct them is clearly missing the point of its importance. It's not stated explicitly in the game or anything, it's just a normal thing that they're non-binary.

And they do define them as such because the Nomai uses she/her and he/him.

The owlks/strangers are not defined because we do not know how their species or view on gender is and therefore should be considered as gender neutral as well.

Tw discussion of scars (but on fictional characters but I digress it can still be sensitive for some)

TOH hunter

I always thought about hunters scars, but also if there's a difference between his scars he got before and after the possession.

Because the possession scars, are obviously still real scars, but I wonder if they're more like "discoloured markings" if that makes sense? (This also applies to Raines when it comes to the possession) But the possession obviously took a tool on his body, not only did Belos steal his life force but a part of him also literally infected Hunter, and then flapjack gave his life to him, and healed that part too then I guess?

But when we talk about how markings vs scars work, and the severity it isn't always the same. For example the gash that Hunter had prior to the possession is still huge, which means it 1 must be sensitive sometimes, and also might hurt. 2 a large part of the right side of his face might have lost its nerve fibers, also depending on the healing of the skin tissue. And some parts might also be stiff, ex when he's smiling or using other facial muscles. But if the post possession scars are prominent scars that destroyed most of the nerves (almost all layers) then his face should be partially paralyzed all together

I'm sorry I haven't posted any art in forever I promise I got stuff, I'm just focusing on merch for conventions and potentially opening my Etsy! However I'm wondering if you guys would be interested in me posting drafts and sketches? I've been practicing with art lately too hence why everything's been slow (that and my depression being pretty deep rn) I'm a bit insecure with showing unfinished work because it makes me self-conscious about it, I'm a perfectionist so showing stuff that are messy and still needs a lot of work is scary for me. But it would also be a good exercise maybe?

Man some of y'all make really fucked up stories, especially with hunter 😬

Ok don't judge me now, but I understand the appeal of zutara. Their chemistry is very amusing, so many parallels in their stories but they have different ways of dealing with them, it's something I personally like to explore in fiction (also I'm a sucker for enemies to lovers ok) as much as I do like kataang too (because when I was a child I literally did not ship much but I knew they were kinda endgame), they sometimes feel more like family in another way. I can dissociate both of them ofc.

Idk zukos and kataras respective journeys and the interaction they have is very endearing.

But I guess I also don't like zuko and mais chemistry at all so maybe that's another reason 😂😂

I am literally so sick rn fr. I don't leave bed and my nose is running like crazy. My whole body hurts and I'm absolutely exhausted ⚰️⚰️⚰️

I'm done with this. C'mon immune system fight harder

I want TO DRAW, and post, I haven't posted in forever, I'm sorry im not dead I just don't have the same drive/time/juice

I've repressed so many emotions this week, I've needed to take a break from my workplace. I've just been having really dark thoughts you know? And it's weird cuz... They're dark but they also border? Idk how to explain but it's a weird dissociative state I guess? I haven't been able to cry much, because I haven't been allowing the emotions to surface even if my mind is racing. It's a really strange limbo. In my life I've been crying a lot, I have more luggage than I often express or people know, I'm a very emotional person, and that's not bad, but when I am in melancholy or just see things as pointless it's worse because then there's nothing I can grab onto. And since I've always been very emotional not being able to idk reach them at all? It is scary to me. Even if i have a hard time managing my emotions. And when I don't know how to even approach them it's like everything I ever thought about my emotions, my experiences, the pain, the happiness is floating away in a distant cloud. I know they're there, but they're outside of my being.

It is... Very strange. I think the amount of stress I've been feeling lately, both with new stuff and changes in work and after meeting a lot of my friends at the same place during halloween was overwhelming. It makes me reflect on my life but if I do it too much I can shut down, the gears start going too fast until they get stuck, and I have to oil and nourish them to make them run again. But I'm tired.. so freaking tired.

But hey, I think it's mostly been a long time since I had a depressive episode like this one, (my depressive episodes can look different) but these limbo, feeling hopeless ones aren't something that's as frequent anymore (which is good ofc!! ) But since they aren't as they used to be i guess it becomes a shock. Sighs, I will pick myself up I know it. But yeah I hope I can let myself cry soon, maybe write in my book to reflect on my feelings and things that's actually bothering me,

I'm... So exhausted and have little time but!! I'm working and trying my best! I'm a very slow drawer and it's hard for me to finish stuff. But hopefully I'll upload something soon :)

Life as an adult isn't always easy and we can't always do the things we like.

I still compare myself yes. A lot. But I try to look at things with gratefulness instead of envy, even if it doesn't always work.

I seriously had to ask my partner if I was 28 or 29 today.

Brain circuits in weird ways sometimes

I NEED TO DRAw, finish these prints, contact the sticker company for sheet measurement, make my little keychain bags, look for a new table cloth, update my prices, print things, order prints

I'm -

It's hard to do this rn when I absolutely hate every drawing I make

I just want to sleep and think about outer wilds memes

They're speaking so loudly at work, in the workshop they're building a room, so the tools and machines also make noise. It gives me anxiety and peeves me because of the sudden random sounds. Usually it's quiet and you only hear the small chatting or sewing machines, because people are respectful.

Not that the workers can help the machines making noise, but can they at least not speak so loudly 😭

Probably due to the full moon, but I feel so incredibly lonely

I wanna draw my DND ocs ahhhhh. Also getting more into the world of dragonbane (drakar & demoner) which is a swedish roleplaying game, at first I thought it was based on DND but it's actually more inspired by a tabletop rpg called RuneQuest, which the creator of dragonbane was a part of as well (or at least worked at that company that developed) he got very inspired by it so when he came back to Sweden he started to develop dragonbane, but with more Nordic elements.

Anyhow getting off track here. I just miss drawing original art, or drawing in general