#even if his segment turns out to be kind of garbage which I AM SO SAD ABOUT
Note
Drowning 6 pretttttry please. Your writing is amazing, honest to god. Wish I had your talent. Keep writing!!!!
Thank you for the ask and lovely message ❤
Drowning Part 6
Masterlist
This one is a tad different that the other parts, some segments are in from Supervillain's POV which are very vague because they are meant have an altered state feel to them. You also learn a lot about Villain and Hero's past in this one.
@shydragonrider @asrasmysoulmate
Warnings: unreality, wheelchair, schizophrenia, elecric shocking, hallucinations, hate towards another, possessiveness, restraints, drugged whumpee, sick whumpee
~
Supervillain emerged from whatever fluid contraption held him in place. His body went numb, pins and needles filling every limb, every muscle like wildfire.
But, nearly as quick as he broke the surface, he fell back in...
Falling...
Falling...
Falling...
His body seized up, a ringing in his ears... then he hit solid ground, his body going slack. Nearly immediately, he felt conscious of the tubes and moniters embellishing him like ornaments and garland on a Christmas tree.
His lead-filled mouth yanked open on its own free will, trying to force a scream out, but his tongue only managed a hoarse whimper.
He jerked his head about, finding it laid nearly on a pillow, but another trap locked his head in. He clenched his hands, but his body was already falling back into the sea- all feeling washed away by the waves.
Sand. He felt sand in his body, dehydrating and numbing, as consciousness was snatched away from him once again. The tubes faded, as did the traps- leaving Supervillain with an empty void.
He had a sense, but couldn't remember what happened in brief moments of waking like this. He hardly recognized the difference between unconsciousness and consciousness and if he did, it wouldn't matter. He never could escape. Never could escape the agonizing water in and around his body.
All he could do was fall.
Fall back into the water.
《~~》
"Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them," a voice spoke. Hero had given up on trying to tell apart the various differences between the countless heroes and doctors that spoke to her on a daily basis. Trying to just intoxicated her mind with a weird feeling of displeasure and annoyance that couldn't be placed. It was right in between her eyebrows, where she would have a unibrow if she didn't wax it all the time in highschool.
"Do you know who wrote that quote, Hero? Hmm?"
Hero didn't respond. Why would she? It gave her no clearance, no escape, no epic prison break that one may expect from such a person of stengths and wits. She just sat there, limbs tied to the ground by unrelenting steel, her head angled to watch the suffering man on the bed slowly fade away with persistent illness and everyday drugs.
"Bruce Lee," the speaker answered the question after quickly realizing that Hero wasn't going to.
Hero tuned out of the conversation, leaving it as background noise as she studied the scene in front of her. Supervillain was hooked up so many moniters, it was as if he was in a coma. Hero twitched her jaw. Maybe he was. The ventilation and feeding tube stuck all the way down his nose and mouth, opening it forcibly, definitely made that thought come alive.
Hero did this a lot, zoning out whenever someone tried to talk to her. Her once vibrant personality and optimism was dampered, replaced by a dull depression. Even Villain, who watched Hero daily, was getting nervous of this rapid decline in attitude- not that Hero knew of her betrayer's thoughts and emotions. To her, in this foggy hole of misery, Villain was an outcasted shadow, adding depth to the painting, but never a main topic. Heck, if she didn't concentrate, she didn't even see the light shade on the white surface.
There was only Supervillain.
But even that has changed, and not just in the extra moniters and tubes, but her whole aspect of him. He was the cause of her pain, he was the cause of the insufferable cloud that ascended over her.
There was no fondness in the way she viewed him anymore, just resentment. The deepest kind of resentment that could also be described as despising.
But even that was an understatement.
One day, a movement drew Hero out of her hate-filled thoughts and back into reality. It was Villain, playing with something by her wrist.
"Back off," she snarled, her voice sounding unnaturally deep and cracky.
"And so she speaks." The glint in his eyes revealed the sarcasm that his monotonous voice hid. "How are you Hero?"
Hero snarled, raising her lips in an animalistic manner, but didn't reply. Once her wrist was let go, the unused muscles allowed it to flop aimlessly against her equally thining thigh. She was fed yes, a vile piece of bland, moist garbage that gave her body its much needed vitamins, minerals, and nutrients, but lack of use degraded the once hefty muscle.
Villain worked on each of the restraints. Each arm fell limp as her legs splayed out, thankful for the break from the locked position they were kept in. When her head was let free, it flopped, her neck unable to keep it up.
Villain steadied her, putting his hand unceremoniously against the base of her neck. Hero squirmed, aware of her vulnerability.
"The door with the exit sign is unlocked," he whispered, so close to her ear that Hero cringed.
At first, her brain using its old habit, began to block out his words, but suddenly stopped and rewinded, shoving them back to the front of her mind.
Unlocked...
She could get out.
Villain helped her into a nearby wheelchair and was about to wheel her away when a strand of her empathetic nature fought against the newfound distant demeanor.
"What 'bout Supervillain?" She asked, her voice a weak whisper.
"This is for you," Villain replied casually grinning down at Hero, happy that she was back to somewhat normal.
Hero sunk into the plushy cushioning of the seat and looked at Supervillain's still figure and snarled. Ha, he didn't get to leave. She did. She got to escape the inhumane confines that kept her bound up like a trapped goat.
He didn't. He could now pay for his crimes.
Yet, as stubborn as this thoughts of retribution sounded, they weren't. That sympathizing portion of her protested against the new arrangement. And, being the stronger of the two opposites, it left her tongue in forms of coherent words.
"I won't leave him," she said, her heart bursting. Whether the internal explosion was due to anticipation or exaltation, it don't matter. It felt natural, like herself.
"You really don't have a choice."
"Why do you want me free?" Hero asked.
"This place is the definition of boring."
Hero was silent and contemplated Villain's statement. He really didn't care about her levels of bore and joy, never did. Any interaction or any relationship that the two once cherished was borne of platonic care of the other's well-being. Nothing too deep, and barely held any real intent. Are you alive? Are you dead? Were the only two questions that brought along any vowels of conversing.
It was weird, abnormal. Hero might've even went as far as to say suspicious.
But it was also promising. Very, very promising. It held the possibility of freedom that the chair did not.
But he was Villain. He did not have one ounce of good will or honesty in his cold veins. He was a liar, a cheat, and as much as she would've loved to call them friends, it was close to impossible. They couldn't build a relationship off of trickery as much as the two once wanted to.
This was a scheme, a lie, to get to Hero and make her mess up. Mess up and then she gets hurt.
Or worse, Supervillain does.
That thought stood out from the rush of others in her brain for it held an interesting style to it. As close as she was to the old Hero and away from the shadow that "choosing who gets hurt" made her into, she wasn't it yet.
Not yet.
"Boring, but I am alive," Hero retorted, rolling her eyes as well as the stiff rectus muscles in her eyes allowed.
"That is otherwise obvious." Villain placed a hand on the barred door that only purpose served as an aesthetic.
"Yeah, in a way I suppose, but Supervillain isn't."
"He's breathing."
"He sleeps all day and when he does manage to wake, he passes out almost immediately. I need to stay with him!"
"You do nothing but glare daggers at him. You are released dear."
"No, you are not helping me escape from this damn place!"
Villain was silent, paused in the motion of pushing the door open.
"Amidst your utter hate for him, you still have the decency to protect him; Hero there is nothing to protect. With one simple flick of a switch, he is dead," Villain pointed out, turning to Hero with tears in his icy blue eyes that Hero once found gloriously gorgeous. Ones that she used to gaze into as they fought, unable to tear herself away. She lost many fights that way by being too distracted to actually land a punch.
But the innocence of that gaze was really just hiding the fact that Villain was a scandalous bastard- only giving half-truths and fake emotions about everything.
"Then why do you give him the serum. You guys know that I won't hurt those civilians," Hero pointed out with a shrug.
Villaim remained silent and wheeled Hero out of the room.
《~~》
Supervillain seemed to always arouse when the nurses swarmed him to administer the vile liquid that plagued his veins with nauseating adrenaline. He felt the hot- not warm, but scorching hot- drug enter his veins.
But it wasn't the beginning, the actual pain of the procedure, that caused Supervillain his horrifying misery. It was afterwards and he wasn't thinking of the dizzying fatigue that usually pushed him into another deep sleep, but the memories it brought.
Some were nostalgic, others taut with grief. Others held regret while some even had remnants of agonizing torture he once endured.
Or gave.
But they were never happy, nor comforting to any degree.
So, when a reverie of kind touch swarmed Supervillain's sensations, his lethargic heart started to pump in rocket speed, motorizing the boat to accelerate...
"Go to sleep."
Hero's voice. One that brought him so much comfort. Hands scratched at his scalp and he felt his heavy eyelids drop.
"I'll be hear when you wake up," Hero lulled, humming softly as the sweet scent of vanilla hit Supervillain's scent receptors. He smiled, the tiniest of grins and nuzzled his nose into her warm, fleece sweater.
But, even delirous as he was, in the back of his head, Supervillain knew this was a vision. A hallucination. The model of schizophrenia that the drug brought upon his mind.
But it was just so real.
So he gave in, purposely allowing himself to be washed away by the unreality of the dream.
Because he loved it. He loved the touch as if it was actually real.
A warm figure slid next to his body wrapping its- her- arms around his shivering body. Phony yes, it gave stability as the fatigue pushed itself to its maximum.
As consciousness dripped away, Supervillain hummed slightly, happy with the feeling.
《~~》
Hero's hand buzzed over the door, considering the possibilities of opening it, but in the end, she blatantly refused.
"No," she said, her old self returning. "I am not going to leave Supervillain."
Villain's eyes widened, chin shaking.
"You care for him?" He asked, voice slightly elevated like a flute's pitch. Such a change from the droning audibles that usually slugged off his tongue. "Like actually."
Hero's brows crunched together as she read Villain's new face expressions. Blond hair draped down to his pointed eyebrows where it slightly curled. Tears seemed to well in his azure eyes.
"Are you crying?" Hero asked, scoffing, but in reality, she cared.
Cared a whole bunch.
"It's just," Villain stepped forward, leaning down and resting his hand on Hero's shoulder. His other hand balanced delicately against the holster of whatever weapon he carried.
Suddenly, without warning, his hand shot up and an bolt of electricity flashed through her body. Hero fell forward, screaming and withering on the floor.
Villain leaned forward, breath warm against her sweaty cheek. "You are mine Hero. I won't ever let you hold, or care for Supervillain again," he growled, bringing thr taser back to Hero's neck. "Goodnight, my love."
The electric shock came again, and the world descended into blackness.
#supervillain whumpee#hero whumpee#villain whumper#retrained#hero x supervillain#hero whumper#heros and villains#delirious whumpee#drugged whumpee#shizophrenia
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
SPN 1x06 “Skin”
Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.
You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.
I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.
Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.
I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.
Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.
DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?
SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.
DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.
SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.
DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.
SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?
DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.
Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.
SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.
DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.
Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.
YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.
Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.
Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.
SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.
DEAN: We could.
REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?
SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)
DEAN: Detective, actually.
I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”
Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.
It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.
SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.
I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.
DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.
When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.
You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?
REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.
Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.
Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.
Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.
And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.
This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.
How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…
I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.
Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.
This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.
ANYWAY
Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!
DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)
I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…
But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.
SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.
Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.
DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.
SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)
Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.
Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.
This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.
Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.
++++
Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.
It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.
SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?
SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)
SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)
SAM: What are you talkin’ about?
SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)
This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.
REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?
SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)
REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)
SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)
It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.
Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.
This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.
Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.
AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!
I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.
How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?
Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.
BUT.
THIS FUCKING SCENE.
I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)
It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders
Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear
Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go
I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary
This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)
The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it
Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.
For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.
And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.
Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?
Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.
Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.
REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)
DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)
SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)
DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)
(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)
DEAN: Ugh, come on.
I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.
One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.
SAM: What are you gonna do to me?
SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.
SAM: They’ll never catch him.
SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)
Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.
Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…
And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????
I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.
At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.
#SPN 1x06#amispnrewatch#reclaiming spn#performing!dean#lawboy#bi!dean#dean x cassie#dean x lee#stiles stilinski#void!stiles#teen wolf#dean deserved better
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
Top 5 Best Executed Deaths
A few weeks ago, I did a list talking about the Top 5 Character Deaths That Made Me Side-Eye the Writers and I thought it was only fair that I talk about some of the character deaths that I thought were actually done well. So consider this like a companion to that list.
Like I said in that T5F, this is TWDG, a game series all about people surviving in a world overrun by zombies. Naturally, characters are going to die. Some of these characters get pretty shitty deaths that only happened to fill a quota, some had effort and thought put into them and how they were going to effect the story and remaining characters. These are deaths that served their purpose, progressed the story, or are an understandable conclusion to a character’s arc.
Do keep in mind that when I say that I enjoy the way these were done/handled/portrayed/whatever, this isn’t me taking joy outta watching these deaths play out. Hell, I kinda hate most of the deaths on this list, but just because I don’t want this character to die or I wish they stuck around longer doesn’t mean I can’t recognize when it’s executed well, y’know?
5. Larry and the meat locker incident
So.... Larry’s an asshole, y’know? He made it on another T5F because he sucks. No one likes Larry.
He treats Lee like garbage, treats his own daughter terribly, and is overall just a piece of shit. That being said, he played his role well. He did what he needed to do which was be a antagonistic character within the group who posed a threat to Lee by threatening to expose his past. He creates a lot of tension within the group, he puts all this pressure on Lilly, you can’t even attempt to show any kindness to him because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and Lilly.
That being said.... his death scene is pretty good. Y’know, you play through ep2 for the first time and you’ve just discovered that these people are cannibals and they have you locked in a fucking meat locker so they can butcher you later, and Larry is freakin’ the fuck out because he’s pissed. Lilly is sick in the corner, Kenny is desperately trying to find a way out because they have his family, and Clementine is terrified, and Lee is just waking up.
You go over and try to calm Larry down because he’s pounding at the door and this dude.... this bastard has the gall to be like “Fuck you, you must really hate me! I’m plannin’ on bein’ around waaaaaay after you’re dead! I’ll be the one to put you down!”
Then he has a heart attack.
And you’re stuck in this meat locker with him. You don’t know if he’s alive or not-- Kenny immediately deems him dead, Lilly is desperately trying to resuscitate him, and they’re both yelling at you. You gotta decide if you’re gonna help Lilly try to bring him back, or if you’re gonna help Kenny make sure he doesn’t turn.
Not matter what you do, Kenny smashes Larry’s head in with a damn saltlick because I guess he missed the opening of the episode where they remind you that your actions have consequences.
Larry’s death has lasting effects on your relationships with both Lilly and Kenny, though more so Kenny since no matter what, Lilly loses it a little and ends up murdering Carley/Doug and leaving the group. But boy, Kenny will never forget the time you didn’t wanna play hero with him and smash a guys head in right in front of his daughter.
It’s a damn good scene, I gotta hand it to ‘em. I hate Larry and I can’t say I miss him, but I can definitely see both sides of the argument on what to do there. Plus it’s... I dunno, a creative death? and I kinda like that? No one else is out here getting their heads done in with a saltlick, y’know?
Anyway, Larry sucks but his death? Well done.
4. Minerva and the tragic showdown on the bridge
Oh man, I really am digging my own grave with the Minnie crowd lately, huh? Ah well, I’m sure it’s fine.
Listen...okay, look. I have a lot of feelings about the bridge scene. On one hand, I hate it. On the other hand, I kind of love it?
Like, does it piss me off that Tenn dies here because I trust AJ? Yep. Do I still wish they had maybe put Lilly here so that she could actually do her job as a villain? Sure. Does it upset me that AJ ends up shooting his best friend in order to save Louis? Totally. Does it annoy me that Minerva just won’t fucking die even though I shot her and the walkers keep nom noming her? Absolutely.
That being said, I can’t pretend that Minerva’s death isn’t pretty great.... which I know will upset the Minnie crowd who always talk about how it’s bullshit she died here and she deserved a redemption arc... but lemme explain.
Looking at the game itself, the text and story progression, Minerva was never going to get that. She was never set up as someone we were gonna “fix” or as someone who would have a change of heart and switch to our side. From the moment we meet her, she’s too far gone. The delta have their claws sunk deep within her, they brainwashed her, forced her to murder her own sister, and she has completely given up. She never expresses any desire to go back to the school. Nope, the delta is her home now. Her family. And it’s tragic. She and Sophie proof of what would happen to the Ericson crew if the delta go ahold of them-- “which twin will you be?” y’know?
She fucks us over instead of actually helping us, we escape, the boat explodes, but Minerva doesn’t go down with the boat. Nope, she makes it to land and well... she fucking loses it. She sees her delta family get taken out by walkers and she goes nuts with her gun and gets half of her face chewed off by a walker.
So yeah..... she’s dead. Almost. They try to act like we’re supposed to believe that she’s really dead after she gets surrounded by walkers and throws the grenade at Clementine and all that but c’mon.... unless I see a body or a walker version, I don’t believe shit.
Which brings me to the bridge.... there’s a lot of dread building up to Minerva’s final appearance, and you just hear her singing the damn song and bringing a bunch of walkers with her. Not to mention that she already looks dead. She looks like a walker who can talk, and not gonna lie, I like it. It’s freaky and sad and fucked up and adds so much to her character at this point. I mean, she’s here to kill Tenn so that they can all be a family again. She’s smiling and relieved that she’s dying and boy she just can’t wait to take Tenn with her and it’s not great.
She’s here to die and to take someone down with her, and she’s not leaving until she does. Hell, if she can take Clementine out, that’s just a bonus at this point.
ALSO can’t forget that if AJ does shoot and kill Tenn, Minerva is still alive as she’s being eaten by walkers and she looks so damn happy as she reaches out and says, “Yes, come with me...”
Like..... it’s so fucked, and I hate that I love it. From a storytelling standpoint, it’s a fitting death to conclude Minerva’s character and it impacts everyone there in more ways than one.
3. Duck and incredible emotional impact
Oh, Duck... poor, poor Duck.
This one has stuck with me and I hate it. I was never one of those players who hated Duck from the beginning. It’s interesting to go back and see how people reacted to him in the first couple episodes because a lot of them didn’t like him. They found Duck to be annoying, loud, stupid, and would even wonder “yeesh, when can I kill this kid?”
Which is yikes but not gonna get into that right now.
But from my understanding, Telltale got wind of this and knowing they were gonna kill him off, were like “Okay, y’all dumb, so here--” and they added in that little segment with Detective Duck where he helps Lee figure out what’s been going on with the stole meds. It’s a cute scene where we get to hang out with Duck and he proves that he’s not stupid, he’s just... y’know, a child.
Then the motor inn gets attacked, shit goes down after they escape, and it’s revealed that Duck was bitten.
Oh man, let me tell you about emotional impact both on the characters and the player because wow.
Duck’s death is slow, drawn out...and since it’s early in the series, there’s a lot of denial, mostly from Kenny. They find the train and Kenny fixates on it because to him, if he gets it working and they can just get away, Duck can recover. Duck isn’t like the others, he’s just a little sick and everyone is making a big fuss about it.
Then you have Katjaa, who starts out in that denial stage but she moves into acceptance a lot quicker than Kenny does and well.... that might be because she made up her mind about what she was going to do, which that is a whole other layer of fucking despair to this situation.
They also do something that I like with Kenny by adding that depth of him believing he had something like this coming after what happened at Hershel’s farm. Y’know, when he grabbed Duck and took off, leaving Shawn to die? Yeah that.
He’s been so adamant about protecting his family to the point where he doesn’t have anything for the rest of the group, aside from Lee if he helps kill Larry. He did what he could to keep his wife and child safe and in the end, it didn’t matter. Duck still got bit, and now everything is shit.
Then when you thought it couldn’t hurt even more, you find Katjaa dead in the woods and you still have to take care of Duck, whether you have Lee shoot him or have Kenny do it, or even just leave him to turn. Either way.... Duck’s death is just one big ol’ despairing oof.
It’s really good, guys. The music, dialogue, scenery, the pain....They really nailed Duck’s death in such an emotional way and it doesn’t just end there. This sticks with Kenny all the way through S2 and changes him as a character. It impacted Clementine and Lee greatly because this kickstarted Chuck telling them that Clem would end up just like Duck if things didn’t change.
S1 just... knew how to kill off its characters... well, for the most part.
2. Marlon and the death that had to happen whether we like it or not
Sigh.... okay.
So... Marlon. Lemme tell you some things about Marlon’s death.
First, I hate it. Nothing new there. If you know anything about me, you know that I am vocal in my desire for the Marlon redemption arc, for the “Marlon lives” AU’s and the “Marlon lives longer but dies differently” AU’s. I like Marlon as a character, I find him to be a fascinating character study. Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon brings so much personality and I love it. So naturally, I wanted more of him in TFS.
Here’s the thing. I may want all of those things, I may take a lot of joy from discussing these ideas with you guys and coming up with different scenarios, theories, AU’s about him, and I’ll always be the first one to be like “I hate that Marlon dies in ep1, I wish AJ hadn’t shot him! Woulda liked for him to stick around longer!”
But with the story TFS is trying to tell, Marlon has to die. AJ has to shoot him. I don’t like it, you don’t like it, no one likes it.... but that’s just how it is.
Marlon is presented to us as this chill and genuine guy trying to keep his group safe and together. He feels the pressure of being responsible for all the lives in this school and that’s a lot to put on a teen growing up in the apocalypse.
Then we learn that hey, the twins didn’t die. No, last year they ran into Abel and Marlon made a deal with him where he traded the twins in order to save himself, Brody, and the rest of the school. He wanted to plan a rescue mission, but he was too scared, so he and Brody kept it to themselves. They made up a story about the twins dying and moved on, but that continued to weigh down on them.
Then Abel comes back, Brody freaks out, tells Clementine the truth, and Marlon hits her so hard that it kills her.
And it gets worse.
You go through the whole confrontation with Marlon trying to cover his ass and blame Clementine for Brody’s murder, he’s waving AJ’s gun around and threatening to shoot Clem while everyone is gathered around watching. It’s raining, it’s super dramatic and tense and I love it.
In the end, Marlon gives up and he just wants to leave. Let him become a bad memory, he’ll never come back, just let him go.
Then AJ shoots him in the head unprompted. He just.... he just does it and then wonders why everyone is looking at him like he’s a murder baby.
Marlon’s death is crucial, not just to kickstart the plot but also for AJ’s character arc. His death affects everyone in that school. It makes Clementine question herself and if she’s raising AJ right, it breaks Louis’ heart, it pisses off Mitch, it sets Violet off on her bullshit. Everyone is hurting and confused because they don’t know what to do. Marlon is dead and AJ, this tiny toddler, was the one who pulled the trigger.
From the beginning, we’re told that AJ is always listening, watching, and what we do will affect him for better or worse.... and maybe you don’t think much when you tell him to always aim for them head, but when he says exactly what you taught him after murdering Marlon...? Yeah, you’re sitting there like “Well, fuck.”
But if this didn’t happen, if AJ didn’t kill Marlon, then.... there’s not a lot left. Sure the raiders are still coming, but AJ no longer has to go through what he has to or realize how much he hurt everyone. He’s no longer on that path that made him such an interesting and layered character.
Sure, you coulda made him shoot someone else, but the fact that it was Marlon is what made it impactful.
Ugh, it’s good and I hate it. I hate it so much.
1. Lee and the death that broke all our hearts
.......Just-
-y’know?
What else is there to say?
Well, alright, I’ll explain.
We play as Lee in S1, we go on this whole journey with him and develop him as a character, establish relationships, and care for Clementine. He’s a great character. I did a list on why he’s great, too, if you wanna check that out but all you really need to know is that we all loved Lee.
Lee’s got a lot of baggage, given that he was on his way to prison for murdering the dude who was sleeping with his wife. But then the apocalypse happened and he got a second chance to do some good... or I guess bad? if you do a scumbag Lee run?
Anyway-- no matter what, he cares for Clementine and it’s nice to see them bond over the course of the season... so when shit hits the fan and Clementine gets kidnapped by the Stranger, we’re just as upset as Lee is.
Then Lee gets bit.... and we realize that even though he’s our playable protagonist, he was never safe either. He gets bit and I can still remember the feeling of like... a bowling ball dropping in my stomach and my heart hurting because no... no, no, not Lee. I basically became Kenny like “No, he’s different! Lee isn’t gonna die! Being bit doesn’t mean death!” and while that is technically true.... had to face it: Lee’s going to die by the end of the season.
Ep5 of S1 is a whole journey... We’re dealing with trying to save Clementine while seeing Lee get worse and worse-- he’s passing out, he’s growing paler and slower and it’s hard to watch. You maybe get a little bit of hope if you decide to cut his arm off, but that’s just... it’s too late for that.
Not only is he fighting this, but then you got Ben who gets impaled and Kenny “dies” putting him outta his misery and Lee’s powerless to do anything. So great, that sucks.
But at least he’s got Christa and Omid.... until they get separated at the Marsh House and Lee’s gotta get through a herd of them by himself.
This slow burn is so good. His condition gets progressively worse but he’s so determined to get to Clem that it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have time to think about what is inevitably going to happen to him, even if the player does.
And just.... the final scene... y’know, the actual death scene?
It’s so good. It’s a beautiful, emotional punch in the face. Like, way to end your game like this... Lee is trapped her with Clementine and he can’t walk, he can’t get up no matter how much Clementine begs him to try, he just- he can’t. He knows it’s all over for him and so he has her handcuff him to this heater so that no matter what, he can’t hurt her and just.... their final moments together where Lee is minutes away from death but is struggling to tell her as much as he can and I’m crying.
Then of course, the final choice-- Do you shoot Lee, or do you leave him to turn?
Both ending hurt my soul, but they’re both great in different ways. Shooting him is so heartbreaking... seeing little Clem sobbing as she points the gun at him and closes her eyes, then it cuts to black as the shot rings out and you hear Lee’s final breath....
BUT THEN YOU HAVE THE LEAVE HIM ENDING WHICH-
Lee manages to tell her more when you choose not to shoot him, but just watching Clementine get to the door and her little “don’t go” before Lee closes his eyes and falls over limp... falls over dead, I just--
Ouch... I am applauding this through my ugly sobs.
It’s the best death in the series. It has everything and then some- emotional impact, works to progress the story and characters, amazing dialogue and performances.... It still gets me to this day.
---
Honorable Mentions
-Mark’s death technically happens off screen, but I mean, c’mon... Mark wasn’t the most compelling character, but everyone remembers what happened to him. Everyone remembers walker Mark. What happened to him showed us just how fucked the St Johns were and it’s excellent.
-Brody’s death is pretty good, too.
-Abel’s death is an interesting one. He’s a garbage can, but they managed to humanize him just a bit by the way he hands his soon-to-be demise.
-Badger when Conrad kills him. It’s super good.
-I’m looking over this list now and it’s kinda funny that not a single S2 death made it here... it’s almost like all the character death that happened there was because a quota needed to be filled and who cares about complex character development when you got Kenny and nothing really matters I guess... ugh. The best deaths would probably be Carver, and Kenny when you shoot him but they’re not good enough to be in a top 5 so.... good job.
---
So... that was fun. What do you guys think? Do you agree with my choices or nah? Do you have a favorite death I didn’t list that you thought was well executed? Let me know, I’m curious.
Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D
---
Next week’s T5F
#twdg t5f#twdg clementine#twdg aj#twdg louis#twdg lee#twdg violet#twdg tenn#twdg minerva#twdg lilly#twdg larry#twdg kenny#twdg katjaa#twdg duck#twdg marlon#twdg brody#twdg mitch#twdg#twdg abel#twdg carver#twdg badger#twdg conrad
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
Excerpt 2
A/N because chapter 5 turned into a bridging chapter, and I am suffering trying to figure out how to discuss ghost traffic laws while simultaneously move the plot in a way that is both interesting and less than time consuming, I thought it might be neat to share some cut content, if only as a way to pass the time.
While I liked a lot of this segment, especially the phrase "knob sucking", which I will definitely re-work in somewhere or other, I felt it was ultimately a distraction from my actual goal, which is really just convincing Valerie to move from point A to point B, and I couldn't help but feel that this scenario was morphing into a distraction from that, which is why I ended up dumping it in my garbage file.
Warning: unedited and unspellchecked content ahead:
As it happened, magical ghost kingdoms were not exempt from magical ghost traffic jams, the likes of which she had found herself stuck in for what was probably hours, though with her clocks still malfunctioning, it was impossible to say. What she did know, however, was that her feet were killing her, the wooly vulture to her left had ghost fleas, and if the idiot in front of her revved his engines in her face one more time, she would personally climb into the cockpit of his ridiculous flying machine to ruin his day. Her gloves were already streaked black from where she’d rubbed prior emissions off her visor. Anymore, and she would simply be rubbing more dirt in than she would be rubbing off. While her suit’s suite of sensors weren’t wholly, or even mostly reliant on her physical ability to see, the loss of any of her senses wasn’t something she was willing to tolerate, not when she was so utterly surrounded.
To her left, to her right, down below and up above, there were ghosts everywhere. Never, not even during the uprising of Pariah Dark and his skeleton hoards had she seen so many ghosts in such proximity. Rubbing up against her board, braying and chattering, slapping green thighs in alien rhythms and throwing the crumpled remains of snacks on the heads of whatever unfortunate happened to be present down below. Most were yetis, and most of those yetis rode those headless, ringmouthed vultures which they seemed to favor as a mount, but that was not to say there weren’t others, either.
In the extra lane that had formed above her own as they inched ever closer to the city proper, there was a long legged-ghost who rode twin balls of fire, which allowed him to zip through the air as though on miniature skates.
Three rows to her right, there was a creature with a dozen heads and a single mouth, which they were forced to share between the each of them as they argued around the empty neck which sat crosslegged and sullen on a carpet woven from starlight and cold, grey ash.
Several levels below, she kept catching glances of what looked very much like a covered wagon, if covered wagons had the legs of a crag and thick, undulating caterpillar flesh where one might normally expect layers of canvas and rope.
Then, of course, there was the idiot with the flying jalopy just ahead of her, a mess of melted wax and meat somehow compressed into a well pressed jacket and a neat leather newsboy hat.
Valerie had spent the last third of the slow, painful crawl towards the city behind this animated butcher bin, watching it alternate between honking its horn in rapid staccato, and complaining from one of its dozens of mouthholes. When it grew bored of these other activities, it would rev it’s engines, deliberately running up against the rear of the wooly vulture just ahead, driving the poor wretch to squeal and buck in a fruitless effort to escape the narrow confines its master kept it in, while of course venting a new load of greasy offgases directly into the face of the rider just behind.
That rider, being, of course, none other than Valerie.
She grimaced, squinting out of reflex at the greasy smoke spurted into her face, managing to hit her faceplate in perfect synchronicity with the outraged exclamations of the animal, now freshly bruised, just two places to her fore.
Valerie wiped her faceplate, choosing to ignore the smears her efforts left behind. The anger she would have felt hours before rendered weak and dull in the face of her exhaustion. The line above her was too dense to safely move into, even with the narrow empty space mandated by the segmented obelisks that she could see clearly now, were a kind of multi-tiered traffic sign, and she refused to to sink any further below, where traffic crawled at a pace both slower and more chaotic than the lines above.
The meat ghost revved his engines, pollutants caked her visor, an animal cried out in pain.
/(Outrage!) Pea cored excuse of a fool (Outrage!) You, Thin chested Ancients blasted knob sucking utter/ dipwad! / Stop hitting me!/
Valerie wiped the grime off her visor, trying to ignore the ache shooting up her calves as the Yeti lost its temper. Between the pain of standing too long and the petty squabbles of the crowd, she kept imagining she was back at her job at the local Nasty Burger.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Coffee Shop au part four
(Segment one of three)
If I forget to tag something important please tell me.
(Present day)
(Small warning Acylius does use those he tortures for food for other demons and non mortal creatures to consume so if you have a problem with that then um just keep scrolling I guess ^^; )
What was this…that strange feeling of disappointment at seeing Black Hats chair being vacant; after all he’d only been there twice so it was not as if he was a regular customer, especially as they’d only been open for two days.
Why should the old demon stay until closing time anyway, just because he did it on the first day didn’t mean he’d do it again today, he had no reason to stay…Black Hat had been rather forward though, kissing him like that, not that he was complaining but , he wasn’t one to just play around and be used.
Friends with benefits was one thing, at least you knew where you both stood, and yet still, why did it feel so familiar, an old dream perhaps, after all who didn’t at least have one wet dream about the great Black Hat doing sordid things to your body right.
Especially with tentacles, while wearing priest robes.
Yes he had his kinks, but damn you if you tried to shame him for them.
He huffed, shoulders going slump, no this was ridiculous , feeling sad just because that idiot of a Gremlin just upped and left without so much as a good bye, Hat didn’t owe him anything and he didn’t owe Hat anything either.
Clearly he was crazy, he had finally fucking lost it, thinking of The Great Lord Black Hat owing him a good bye and a kiss on the cheek as if they were lovers, he’d just met the bastard.
No he needed to either relax or worry if the destroyer of worlds was going to ruin his café that’d he’d always wanted with his mischievous downright evil antics.
Acylius was currently grinding up their latest victim, a man who’d been abusing Nicodemus’s workers (don’t worry if you don’t know who that is I won’t be bringing him into this unless I need him for like filler scenes)
Body parts in neat piles on the counter top, ‘pork’ pies were on the menu tomorrow, this was Black Hat’s island so even the people knew some places the menu would cater to demons so if they saw the chalk was in red they knew it was demon cuisine, though of course there was always the daring person who’d ask for it anyway in which a waiver definitely had to be signed.
Hey, wasn’t going to be Acylius’s problem if they decided to off themselves on food that probably wasn’t for human consumption.
This particular man had been a pig and he was serving sow next week.
Vile beings needed to meet a vile end.
This was going to be a long night, he could manage though, at best he could manage on two nights of sleep during the week.
Currently the head of the meat sack was animated and still alive, the man was so far gone he’d reached that point of acceptance that this was happening and nothing could be done, so seeing his body being prepped for pastries and such was more amusing than anything.
“I’m a Legion demon Jake, that’s your name right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, anyway as I was saying I’m a Legion demon in this day and age that means nothing to most unless you are perhaps ancient or still follow the old ways, I have nothing to offer thee Great Lord Black Hat.”
Jake watched as the demon deboned, removed a hand and of his shaved one of his arms before washing it down to make sure all the hair was gone before slapping it into the mince meat maker.
“Last I heard your kind was like some kinda lucky charm right dude?”
“Yes, but he does not need that from me, if we did anything he would be interested in me for all of five minutes and bail, he is all shadows and darkness, I will literally spend weekends in my boxers eating cheese puffs if the week has been hard enough, hardly a turn on for someone like Black Hat.”
Acylius snapped while working on another piece.
“I dunno, some beings like to see their partners being able to feel that chill around them, but hey that’s just my jam you know, anyway stop whining, this guy is old as shit right, you don’t know, your Legion demon shit might actually put a huge boner in his pants.”
Jake taunted, smirking as he watched his killer bristle up, oooo hooo sensitive much.
You know those scenes in anime’s where the other character suddenly gets really tall, shadows where their eyes should be and their hair seems to just be blowing in the wind and there’s that broken glass sound sometimes.
That’s Acylius’s reaction as his mouth turns into a ground out grin that’s splitting wider and wider along where the scars are, ironically that injury is the reason he can smile this wide now when the demon in him starts to show.
Jake was going to die, he was already he dead he knew it so why not torment him just a little more and get it over with
“Awww no I know what it is baby demon, you want a daddy you can suckle on and-
Acylius brought the meat tenderiser down on Jake’s head repeatedly until there was only pulp left, brain matter and blood were splattered across his apron with a few deep scarlet streaks going across his cheek, how brightly the red stood out against the snow white skin.
He was staring at the mess he’d made, panting softly, pupils thin and biting his lip, alright maybe he’d enjoyed that a little too much, he frowned though when he saw the pies had been covered to, well perhaps they would still be salvageable.
Scraping the remains of the head into the bin marked biohazard he pulled the bag out and set it down getting rid of other pieces he no longer required, tomorrow non human waste disposal would be picking up the remains anyway.
Demencia had caught the show and was leaning on the door.
“Looks like you got a little too into that Lulu, sure you don’t want to tenderise me on the surface.”
(NOTE, Acylius’s nick name Lulu was made last year in November 2019 because my friend had trouble pronouncing his name, so I tried to think of a name that he’d only let close friends and loved ones call him and that’s where that comes from, not Helluva boss, just thought I’d point that out as there’s a Lulu world and Loo Loo land)
“Not now Demencia, I’m not in the mood for your jokes.”
Acylius ran his fingers through his hair, regretting it once he remembered oh yeah covered in blood; a shower would definitely be needed before bed.
“Ah I see, so the head got sassy huh?”
Flug, because yes reminder Acylius is Doctor Flug, paused at the backdoor and pouted
“Might have, he also said some very offensive words that I did not appreciate.”
Demmy folded her arms, shaking her head and smiling
“Well you showed that head who’s boss, now hurry up binch I want my cookies and hot chocolate, it’s late.”
Flug lovingly gave her the finger as he walked out the door while telling her she had two hands she could do it herself.
The back alley was dimly lit, not that he couldn’t see or choose to focus his vision to see clearer but sometimes it was nice just to appreciate light that softly glowed and curled around corners to take in the world in all different ways and settings…oh he missed rain, there hadn’t been any in nearly two months now, he missed how things glowed, street lamps became brighter and car lights so red and vibrant against the grey trailing along winding roads of shimmering black.
Perhaps it would soon when the snow had melted, he’d go for a long drive and listen to the rain hitting the roof of his car, patting against the windows, listening to the quiet tick, tick, tick of the vehicle when he switched on the indicator.
Yeah just drive out the middle of nowhere, strip down and run in the rain or just let it soak into his clothes as his breath streamed out in wispy clouds…
Ears twitching he heard a late party of drunks making their way home, he watched them pass by, they were completely unaware of him, if he were perhaps a rabid sort of demon they would be easy pickings, but that was not his game, at least not tonight, there was no scent that told him a wrong doing had been done, just a group of friends heading home for bed.
Snow had fallen in the tracks left by the bustling day life of the people around here and now in the silence he wondered was he lonely, Demencia’s offers had sometimes had been all too tempting simply out of need for comfort and to be close to someone, sometimes it seemed she needed it just as much as he did when they’d just lean on each other and complain about their day.
Looking up he found someone watching him from the shadows, well more saw a pair of eyes, completely yellow, no white to be seen, oranges and reds, as if he were looking at the sun, shivering as a breeze rolled through he pulled down his sleeves, goose bumps rising, a tingling down his spine, just the little things that reminded him he was alive, he was not afraid of what lingered in the shadows, there was no sense of danger.
Perhaps they were a Legion fan , someone caught off guard by his appearance, after all Flug knew his scars could be quiet unsettling to some people…though come to think of it he did sense an air of fear about this being, still they were wide and unmoving.
Really the sensible thing to do would be to just go inside and ignore this creature, yet something kept him there a longing to talk to it, placing the garbage into the bins he smiled just a little
“You know stranger, you remind me of someone…someone I feel like I should know.”
Acylius’s ears lay flat as he heard them softly whimper, it sounded so sad.
“I am sorry, I was not being offensive I assure you, this person I speak of was very kind, at least he was in the dream, I dreamt when I was little , funnily enough a night like this, Mother had locked me out…”
He held one hand in the other looking at them, fingers curling around his thumb
“My fingers were so cold and red I could barely feel them, or the rest of myself to be honest…heh you probably do not want to hear the tired ramblings of an out of date demon.”
“No, please continue.”
There was silence again, that whispered voice, it comforted him, made him feel at ease, this indeed truly was a strange day.
“Mother had locked me out, I didn’t cry or beg her to let me back in, I knew she would not open the door, so I laid down cheek to the snow, despite being almost numb my face burned, my face…”
Tracing along his scars as he recalled the moment could not help but wince
“I had to be careful still they had barely healed by that point, but I remember how good the cold felt on them, red and angry they seemed to only be satisfied when pressed to the freezing earth, I knew that night or at least believed I was going to die and…I was alright with that until I saw a pair of eyes just like yours.”
Acylius took a step forward only stopping when he saw this being step back
“They were gold, I thought they were so beautiful , I thought maybe the angels we were told about were not so bad if they could come for something like me, his claws hands reached down for me but I didn’t see his face, all I heard was that I was coming home with him and his name…his name was…”
Acylius held his head in his hands, scrubbing them down his face
“His name was Cruentus.”
When he looked back at where the eyes had been there was only darkness, the demon in the dark had disappeared so quickly he wondered for a moment if they’d even been there.
No, nope, nope, that dream was not real, that being was not Cruentus, it was all coincidence and he was just exhausted, yes that was it, perhaps he should sleep tonight, or maybe he’d snacked on too much of Jake while he was working, or had too many sugary treats either way, it was pies in the fridge and off to bed.
Opening the back door he locked it behind him, ignoring the fact Demencia was chomping on one of the pies, after all she knew what was in them if she wanted to eat it that was up to her, his mind was elsewhere.
“Mmmm you tenderized this one good, Legs, nice and juicy.”
Usually her friend would react to that name, at least grunt or gently nudge her and tell her not to call him that, something was clearly bothering Acylius.
“Legs?”
Demencia asked gently, placing a hand on his shoulder, only for him to turn and pick her up by the front of her shirt, snarling as he did so
“Do not call me that name!”
Looking down at him, Demencia could really see something wasn’t right here, was he remembering something to do with that name, like it had always annoyed him, but that glare, the disheveled hair and fangs all bared …honestly in another situation he would be hot as fuck…alright she was already thinking he looked hot as fuck but this was not the time or place.
Touching Acylius’s face lightly, she watched as his ears flicked, his breathing was ragged, his eyes returning from being solid blue to having pupils and irises again, her hands were warm and comforting and he found himself leaning into them, lips pressed against her palm…she was there to ground him in his bad moments and he could never thank his friend enough for that.
“You mind setting me down you tree.”
Demencia laughed softly.
He carefully set her back down and pulled her in for a hug
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I would never hurt you, never.”
Nuzzling against his chest and wrapping her arms around him, patting his back
“Hey, hey now, none of that you dumb tree, I know you have gaps in your memory, did you remember why do you don’t like that name?”
“Hate, I don’t just dislike that name, I hate it…all I can hear is someone called Vincent and they make me curl up and die, I have no face only a voice, if I ever heard it…I would know…”
Flug was quiet, taking in just how small she was against him, reminding him how small most were against him like this, his talons formed, slowly stroking her hair, playing with the fuchsia overlay, down to her neck where it faded to lime green, such an interesting choice of colours to wear in ones hair.
“You already know I just appeared back into existence, as if the world itself birthed me, I was somewhere forgotten…and seeing Black Hat today, I think…no it is a stupid notion to think he could see me as anything.”
He kissed the top of her head, thankful that she had not let go, Demencia was the one being who never seemed to be afraid of him, who he knew he could trust and rely on in these moments where memories were trying to break through the surface and suffocated when they could not make it.
“I am a Legion demon, no more than a trinket in the end, I am a nothing in his world and I am okay with that, I have a nice peaceful life and a coffee shop just like I always wanted…”
He sat with her on the counter, as she sat on one of his thighs
“This is just a hug, you don’t need more right?”
Demmy enquired, slightly hopeful because who didn’t want to climb him, honestly, he was an idiot for not seeing he didn’t need to be some grand demon to be wonderful.
“Yes, just a hug…I wish I could say I grew up in a loving home with Christmases like in the movies, that I could tell you my life’s story, talk about a time I scraped my knee when I was small and had a mother who put cute cat plasters on me just because I like cats.”
She listened and let him stroke her hair, it’d always calmed him to pet soft things, so perhaps she might use shampoos that were just a little pricier than she’d usually buy simply to make sure her hair was soft for these broken moments no one else saw.
Even though he was not sobbing, made no notion he was crying, the damp warmth on her shoulder told her otherwise.
“I want to tell you the times my Father took me for ice cream, my first kiss with the person I fell in love with, something…anything, but there’s nothing there.”
She listened attentively until he had nothing left to say, carefully taking his hand from her scalp; Demencia held his face and looked at him
“Damn Sillyus, they really did send you back with nothing more than a leaflet.”
“I suppose, but I have so much to thank you for, when you found me on that street, I only remembered enough to get by, to survive, but you helped me to settle into this time and be a part of the modern world.”
Acylius kissed her forehead before pressing his to hers, eyes closed as he whispered
“I’m so tired of being lost, of being unsure of what I am, who I am, I just want to bake, make coffee and kill people in my basement, I think fortune smiled on me for a moment when you found me, I think I might just give you the world if you asked.”
“Awww come on dude, sounds like a love confession here, I have bills to pay off and knew there was a darker side in me, you’re the Sweeny to my Lovett.”
She teased fondly, lightly smacking the back of his head, smiling as he managed a laugh
“I guess I could agree platonically with that.”
“But honestly Slender Man, babe if you wanted to plant your tentacles and leave your seed in me I wouldn’t say no.”
Acylius rolled his eyes and shook his head, using a tea towel to wipe his face
“Honestly woman you are bloody hopeless.”
“Yeah but you love me all the more for it.”
She grinned punching him playfully on the shoulder
“Perhaps I do, but I am not as hot as you like to say I am, I hide my face, I hate when people look at my scars and pity me.”
Demmy raised a brow and climbed off of his leg, flicking his forehead
“I know you like to hide your face behind glamour and tricks but you’re beautiful even if you don’t see it dumbass, I’m starting to wonder what the fuck happened outside that had you coming back in as if someone stole your last apple crown and there’ll never be another one again on the face of the planet.”
She put the kettle on and took out the upside down pineapple cake; this was definitely a cake and tea situation
“First of all, do not say such blasphemous things, life would not be worth living without apple crowns, second of all…I think, I know I said there’s nothing there but I think I might have had a memory about my childhood involving Cruentus.”
Demencia nearly dropped the mug she was holding, setting it down she turned to face him
“Holy fucking shit, you mean thee fucking Cruentus, Hellhound butler, Hell Knight, works for the brooding clearly wants you to nail his ass Black Hat, that Cruentus…ahh I hear he has eyes like the fucking sun.”
Acylius gave her a deadpan look, hands on hips as he stood, looming over her, trying to look seriously only for it to falter
“You Demmy are just horny on main.”
“So what if I am? Gonna call me a slut like my last partner?”
She swatted away his playfully prodding hand.
“No, I never understood why it’s perfectly fine for men to have as many partners as they wish but seen as something terrible when a woman just wants to enjoy her life the same way, society is mad…also no more jokes on Black Hat you wicked beastie.”
Demencia would be lying if she didn’t admit his ability to shift from one mood to the other sometimes made her head spin, but it was clear he’d needed that moment to talk, shrugging she turned back to the kettle
“Alright, alright I’ll behave at least for now, I mean it’s clear the big bad doesn’t want you, how could he possibly want you…even though anyone with eyes could see he kept checking you out and every single coffee you brought him in hopes your stupid number was on it somewhere.”
Demencia couldn’t help but stifle a giggle at his sounds of huffing and frustration and heard him sit at the table, she did know there was stories, legends really by this point of Cruentus having a son, but you literally had to pour through footnotes and any books that might have had more information had been removed from shelves and privatized under the order of Black Hat himself.
End of segment one
(I'll try and type up segment two tomorrow)
#Paperhat#Platonic paperlizard#Mild cannibalism#villainous#Villainous au#Blood#Gore#Coffee shop#Present day
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
hot takes [pt. ii]
good[e] morning campers! we have more thoughts on \_ |_ | _/ RuPaul’s Drag Race episode 9... because i have nothing better to think about... lol. This is a novel, btw.
SO... I have said it before and i will say it again... the in memorium segment gave me life. Robot Barbie Cheerleader. also RIP to jan’s clear drink in untucked.
Let’s get into the gig, because why not. Unsure if readers are aware, but I am very politically minded. [do I use tumblr as a way to put politics aside for a little while? sure. but I have also worked on campaigns, did not take Elizabeth warren dropping out of the presidential race well... I mean she dropped at the beginning of march and now look at where we are.... anyWAYs.]
I did not like this episode. I did not like the challenge. From what I understand, the only other time this challenge was done was in season 4, but I stopped watching season 4 when sharon wore a conf*derate flag bodysuit for a mini challenge, prior to which she wore a mccain/palin shirt. I still don’t know if it was a joke, but #yeet.
So this episode took the place of a “roast”/ stand up episode. Those are usually fine. They separate folks a little bit more. But, as someone who followed the recent primary with a VERY close eye, but was could also be humorous about it... Debates are hard to do. What makes a debate work is that everyone is well versed on everyone else’s platform, and knows how to attack them, because they have been the same person the whole time. For some reason, everyone “invented” a different character to play.... no one had a real platform... and it’s really hard to ~volley~ when people don’t really understand everyone’s characters. I also think, similar to the democratic primary- that there were too many people on stage. I also think snatch game happened too early... but that’s another story never mind anyway [did you catch that into the woods/bernadette peters joke???? @ JAN ].
So everyone has these “characters” which for the most part are not super consistent with who they’ve been portraying on the show... which makes it challenging. Then, it was moderated very poorly, and then edited together very poorly. There was no flow... it was very choppy. Again... not a fan.
Season 8 also had a political challenge, but if i remember correctly, that was just a branding challenge kind of. It was better than this. Now, do I appreciate the fact that Drag Race is taking this election very seriously?? YES. But this challenge was just Not It.
I thought Jaida was very consistent, I liked Jackie’s a lot [It seems like a running gag that she is too prepared in the same way that Jan was too energetic... which has its own election flashbacks....] I am really enjoying crystal... I thought she also had what was close to a fully formed character.. it just needed to bake a little more.
So... next up... ms. goode. #cringe. tbh I don’t care about the performance. Were they just trying to redo snatch game? basically. were they the only person to try and do that? No.
This mirror chat was the bomb dot com tho. best part of the episode.
We’re talking about the “oh i’m not political” We knew from episode one that Gigi grew up in a lot of privilege- and wasn’t the only one [@ jan] but jesus has it shown in gigi the most... I mean bob the drag queen said it best.. Gigi goode’s mom vs Jaida Essence Hall.
But the nerve to openly say “i’m not political, and I don’t like it” when you KNOW at this point in time what the contestants have gone through... it’s just really insensitive. Also to be the open front runner knowing that the RPDR fans can be young and impressionable.. is really irresponsible TBH.
Guess what? I don’t like to follow the news sometimes. I don’t watch tr*mp’s press conferences. Sometimes I log off twitter and go to tumblr. But I still stay INFORMED on the issues and am able to back up my positions. I VOTE. [cannot believe i’m saying this but i would not be surprised if gigi did not vote in 2016.]
[sidebar]
Maybe it’s bc I stan jan in a way that I have stanned no one else before [the only ru girl who even comes close to it while I was actively watching the show without prior knowledge is naomi] Maybe it’s combined with the quarantine that I have nothing else to do. And with that comes a [virtual] introduction to basically everybody who’s anybody in the NYC drag scene. [I will say the Bob-Monet-Cracker-Jan quad is just A+] So maybe I just have a better idea of what it is [have I gone down a Youtube rabbit hole on this subject? yes]
Is new york also my personal favorite city? yes. Have I been to LA? no. Do I like the concept of LA? no. Have I been west of the mississippi river? no. So maybe it’s a combination of all of these things [including Jan saying on repeat that New York is the greatest city to do drag] but. The NYC girls are just so much more political. Brita, Bob, MOnet, tbh Jan is also on the record saying some A+ shiz. Marti Cummings is a non binary drag artist running for city council in manhattan. “Everybody black and aquaria.”
Is NYC politics like any city, full of machines and garbage too? Sure. But NYC is just so much more powerful and political. LA is just the embodiment of privilege.
I also think it’s interesting that some of the smaller town/city gals will move to LA [Trixie/Katya/Alaska? I’m looking @ you] after they get the drag race coin. Not that it’s a bad thing or anything, it’s just an interesting dynamic. [another aside: the non NY/LA girls deserve it all and i think it’s really powerful when the show directly addresses issues of wealth/privilege/access to drag on the show.]
[end sidebar]
And Gigi came into the competition saying “I want to be on vogue” which is great. Their fashion sense is great. Most of their outfits are great. It’s great that they can do comedy [sometimes- like when they are not playing the role of Gigi] But something else I take issue with- and don’t get me wrong humility is great- is the whole “I’m not a dancer” that’s BS. they whole back handspring etc, madonna challenge. Maybe you weren’t a trained dancer, but ffs cut the crap. [if you haven’t look up gigi goode showgirls]
And yet the judges continue to give Gigi [and SP] free passes. It’s like Ru is so afraid that if either of them end up in the bottom, they won’t turn it out and then there will be no frontrunner. Well guess what? In season 7, Max had 2 wins before anyone else and came in 9th. valentina going home was a total gag. Brooke and Yvie lip synced on the snatch game ep. But Apparently when the skinny white fashion queen from the big city [gigi, aquaria] does less than well, they don’t get put up for elimination??? [did aquaria deserve to lip sync for the makeover? idk.]
Gigi is getting a “winner” edit and it’s not really fair to anyone. People who should have won certain challenges were IGNORED, and instead the producers give all the credit to gigi, giving them almost a worse edit. Like we want to see humans, not robots. If we learned ANYTHING from last week is that the judges don’t like when you just “start on 100 and stay there THE WHOLE TIME”. Bc the truth is that [aside from the loads and loads and loads of privilege,] Gigi is really nice and very talented. But I, as a viewer of reality TV, live to see the perfect fail. I want everyone to shine [this is why I loved when Naomi sent manila home, oops]
Also.. I would like to address the fact that Gigi basically used the same outfit twice... this runway and entrance look have almost the same pattern, with just a slightly different skirt type. I would like for this behavior to be called out bc it is such a memorable silhouette.
Also- Shout out to Crystal for the most bomb ass runway... I want that whole outfit pls.
but aside from that... TBH I just want a show with the real top 7 [ the heidi and widow have been cracking me up saying “we’re at top 5″ or “we’re at top 6″ before the ep aired on instagram and I’m loling.. and that VERY AWK moment when Jan is on the x change rate saying that they couldn’t justify putting anyone other that her and widow in the bottom bc gigi and 3 wins and trying to work around not saying SP’s name had 2. [also shout out to jan the real mvp for unfollowing SP on twitter]] doing competitions and having fun. And I’ve said this before. This is a really good season that did not need production’s handprints all over everything. But they chose to cast RuPaul’s Best Friend Race, so they shouldn’t be complaining or trying to manufacture drama.
I was cracking up when Jaida was [clearly prodded by producers] asking is there anything we need to talk about? and then Jackie goes to talk to widow right before they leave and they are just nice to each other. lol no drama here. It’s the season of the inner saboteur.
So Jackie and widow are in the bottom and tbh I don’t know. I would have liked to see Gigi lip sync. I would have liked this challenge to not happen. but it did. The lip sync song.. I just didn’t love the cut... Katy perry’s voice is so over produced [trend alert] that the illusion of the lip sync didn’t work in the first chorus. Jackie’s plastic bag was just A+. These lip syncs, tbh starting w jan v widow have been very good. not good enough to make up for the garbage that was everything since ep. 3, but close. [and some of that was song choice, some of it was not. I will say brita killed her first one but rip to rock]
Jeff gold bloom. I just don’t know. Maybe it’s bc I never saw jurassic park. Maybe he was just a bad judge. maybe he too was being prodded by production. ugh. You can read the takes on his interactions with jackie somewhere else.
#RuPaul's Drag Race#constructive criticism#drag race season 12#drag race spoilers#most of my frustration is towards production#goode bye to jan sport
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would you want Gwen and David to become a couple at the end of CampCamp? And adopt Max as well? Cuz' I do...
Gwenvid becoming canon is one of those things I simultaneously love and feel is unnecessary. The show will never let it be as pure and fluffy (or emo) as the fans will make it, anyway, and there is no force on earth that will stop me from shipping this ship with every ounce of my shriveled little heart, so I’m kinda ambivalent on the whole thing. (Besides, I know at least one of the showrunners is not at all into it, so I don’t see it happening no matter how much we may want it to. As long as they keep giving us little ship nuggets we can read way too much into, I’ll be good.)
Also I’m not convinced CC is the kind of show that needs an end, so “at the end” is one of those things that … eh, whatever. It’s an endless summer existing outside of time. Does it ever have to end, as long as they keep having new ideas?
As for the other part of this question … oh, boy. Anon, you did not ask me to go the fuck off on this question, but I gotta because I’ve been holding all this inside for literal years, and I don’t even care that this will make me hemorrhage followers because I’ve been very good and very quiet about it for a long-ass time and I just gotta –
I fucking hate Dad//vid.
And you know? I didn’t used to. My feelings, much like those regarding Cute Waitress, went from “how cute!” to “eh, not my thing but whatever,” and now we’ve circled all the way around to my entire soul lighting on rage-fire every time it’s mentioned, and just … I hate it so much … it’s just …
I feel like this deserves an explanation. And I think the people who’ve already blocked me or whatever aren’t going to read it, so let’s put it under a cut just for the sake of scrolling. But here’s the cliffs notes version:
1. It’s #NotAllDad//vid. There are some iterations of it I don’t hate, and even quite like.
2. David adopting Max, as a general concept, blows. There are exceptions – see #1 – but 99 times out of 100 I hate it with all of my hate. (The short reasons why: David is baby and Forest has Issues, it’s kiiiiinda racist?, and it’s lazy, boring, and way overdone.)
3. The fandom will not fucking chill about it – at the expense of all other explorations of David and Max’s relationship. And that makes me highkey annoyed.
That being said, anyone who’s worried my blog will become a cesspool of dad//vid hate, please don’t be concerned. This is like lancing a boil of something (I’m bad at metaphors). All the garbage pours out in one massive textblock, and then I go back to being more or less chill about the whole thing. We’re dealing with years of repression here. Shit’s gonna be a lot more intense than it needs to be, and then we’ll settle back down to our regularly-scheduled CC fluff times.
I’m hoping this doesn’t make the fandom hate me forever … but given #3 up there, I’m pretty dang scared it will.
(And hey, I don’t want Cute Waitress to explode in a pit of fire and snakes anymore, so maybe my opinion on dad//vid will change eventually too. Always hold out hope, right?)
1. #NotAllDad//vid
Like I said, I didn’t used to totally despise the whole Dad//vid thing. Like, I love the idea of David having been a counselor for so long that he just has ingrained Dad Instincts (see S4E14 for the most recent example of this). David as the Dad Friend? Good shit. David as the mother/father hen of his little cabal of campers? Very good shit. Nonliteral interpretations of dad//vid are usually really cute and fun and have some solid basis in canon, and I’m all about it.
Even some of the more literal David-adopts-Max AUs aren’t … the worst. Some of my friends have written versions of it that are original or at least were at the time and really compelling, and usually they found a way of skirting past the majority of the issues in #2. It can be done well.
It just … usually … isn’t.
And for that we gotta see #2.
2. David-Adopts-Max Sucks as a Concept
There is nothing good about the idea of David adopting Max, at least based on what we’ve currently seen in canon.
(Yes, I am aware that I should couch statements like that with “in my opinion” and “with exceptions” and the like, but that’s a lot of work for this and a bunch of the stuff I’m gonna say in a second, so please just assume for the purposes of everything I put on this blog that it’s in my opinion. I’m not out here dropping Cold Hard Facts about Camp Camp of all things; I’m just spewing my feelings.
I have lots of feelings.)
I don’t really have a cute little opening segment for this, so let’s skip the hors d’oeuvres and hop right into the meat of it:
David is Way Too Young to be a Father (According to Forest, Who Has Massive Emotional Baggage About These Things)
David is 24 goddamn years old. You know who shouldn’t be put in constant legal charge of a 10-year-old? Someone who is only 14 years older than him. If he’d had Max the old-fashioned way he would be too young to go on 16 and Pregnant.
That is too fucking young.
I know that some people become parents that young, and even younger. I’m not saying your experiences are bad or invalid. I’m just saying, from the standpoint of being 26, that if one of my two-years-younger friends told me they were adopting a kid they knew from work, I would tell them they were fucking bonkers and to hand that child over to a grown-up immediately. This is especially true of David, who has remarkable emotional maturity but is also mentally about 8 years old. Gwen is the adult at that camp, and David is such a baby.
Please don’t give the baby a baby.
Also, I’m terrified of having children. I never plan to, I’ve only recently accepted the fact that I don’t have to (grew up religious; it was kinda a whole thing), and get knee-jerk defensive over the idea of anyone my age or younger having children. It freaks me out, and that’s not a good or right emotional reaction to have but it’s mine, and I lowkey panic every time I think of David having children because if he should have a child at 24 then I’m already late.
Yes, I get the feeling that I’m running behind. For something I don’t actually want, ever. In comparison to a fictional character. Whose fatherhood decisions are not even remotely canon.
TL;DR I have issues and my other arguments are decidedly more valid than this one
So How About That Racism, Huh?
I know this has been a matter of some debate in the CC fandom for a while now … but you know what? It’s not nearly enough of a debate. People should absolutely be talking more about the potential problematique aspects of having a way too young white kid take a child from his immigrant parents on some pretty shoddy evidence (which I’ll address in the next section). There’s some White Savior stuff going on there, some negatively-stereotyping-poc-and-immigrant parents going on there … I’m not saying these should completely disqualify any dad//vid AUs or speculation or anything, but it should absolutely be much more of a conversation than it currently is.
(This is why one of the few David-adopts-Max concepts I like is one in which his parents have died. Not only is it more interesting – again, see the next bit – but it neatly sidesteps some potential gross stereotyping, and that’s just always rad.)
I feel like the common counterargument to this is that there are not-great parents of color and not-great immigrant parents IRL, so wouldn’t it be dishonest not to portray that in fiction as well?
I mean … I dunno.
I’m not here to tell anyone how to write the One Pure Dad//vid AU or anything. But I will say that I don’t think most people in love with this concept have done anything resembling due diligence in considering how best to sensitively portray the complicated familial, racial, and other implications of this particular AU or concept.
Besides, it’s not real life. It’s fiction, which means any decisions are being made deliberately. It’s a choice to depict Max’s parents as abusive and neglectful monsters who immigrated to America to give their son a better life but that’s for the next section, and it’s not inherently a bad choice, but it’s one that should be made thoughtfully, with an eye to the history of negative stereotypes that already run rampant in fiction. That’s just part of the writing process, and not one that should be shunted aside because it’s more work and less dramatic than creating the biggest of big bads for David to make grand speeches at and/or punch in the face.
Just Not Very Interesting (And Done to Death)
Regarding the overdone thing: Reading a David-adopts-Max AU most of the time is just like reading every other David-adopts-Max AU; I’m pretty sure I could put all these fics on transparencies, overlay them on top of one another, and still have a legible story because they differ so little.
Now to be clear: This – along with the rest of my points in this section – are about personal taste. Some people love reading the same story over and over again, and it brings immense comfort to them. That’s okay, and you shouldn’t feel bad about reading (or writing) these stories and not wanting to break your back trying to find a new angle for it. Cringe culture is canceled, and my personal tastes should not dictate the fandom. You do you.
That being said, I’m also allowed to be so bored by almost all of these fics that I nearly fall asleep scrolling the AO3 feed.
And the frustrating thing is, it would take so little to make it different. All it would take is asking: what if it wasn’t that simple? What if his parents aren’t all bad? What if they’re trying their best, but aren’t able for whatever reason to care for Max the way he needs to be? (I’m thinking Deja’s mom from This Is Us, for a cool example.) What if they later come to regret whatever behavior is making them so sucky, and reconcile in some fashion with their son? What if David and/or Max have fundamentally misread the situation, due to being on the outside and a kid, respectively, and it turns out his parents are actually making the best decisions they can in this situation and David doesn’t need to literally become Max’s dad, but integrates into the family in another way? (Seriously, even “what if they’re dead instead of evil?” would blow my mind in terms of originality. It’s been done, but not nearly enough.)
So that’s the overdone thing out of the way. What about lazy and boring?
It just seems to me that, based on the evidence we’ve been given in the show, there are infinitely more nuanced and creative alternatives to “Max’s parents are canonically abusive and neglectful and deserve to have their child ripped away from them by the guy who sees him at his job like 2-3 months out of the year.” I, in fact, refuse to believe Max’s parents are bad people based on the current evidence, and won’t do so unless canon forces me to see no other option.
Because as of right now, I just don’t buy it.
Didn’t show up to Parents’ Day: Well, we know they immigrated from India to escape “menial labor” (S1E4), and we know capitalism stomps all over the kind of people stuck doing menial labor, so what if they were unable to get away from work or they’d be fired? Hell, what if they couldn’t afford it for whatever reason – car broke down, they don’t have a phone or were out of data, they got hurt or sick or something came up that was interpreted by a small child as a lack of interest because he’s been shown that he doesn’t fully understand either adults’ motivations (all of S1) or the complexities of living in adult society, though he thinks he does (S1E4)?
Didn’t give him an activity: What if their grasp of English isn’t great? It’s a damn hard language to learn, and I sure as hell couldn’t pick up a second language if I was working to the bone to support my family. I’m exhausted trying to get through my 5 minutes of French on Duolingo, and I have a relatively cushy job and the benefit of an owl harassing me every few hours. Maybe they looked at the absurd camp activities and assumed they were misreading something, so they handed it over to their son (who is clearly fluent) to pick something he likes. Maybe they wanted to give him some responsibility and a sense of autonomy in deciding what he wanted to do for the summer, and he was so annoyed at being sent off to camp that he refused to do it and interpreted their hands-off nature as not caring. Maybe they were tired and just told him to pick something and it’s as simple as that, because parents are allowed to be exhausted sometimes. Just strikes me as pretty bizarre that they’d bother sending their son to a summer camp (and those things aren’t cheap, even one as not-awesome as Camp Campbell) but not be invested enough to give him the activity. Saving all year to scrape together enough money for a summer camp, sure, but filling out one line on a piece of paper? Pfft, who has time for that bullshit?
(I recognize that assuming they’re poor based on a single line about “menial labor” might seem like a bit of a stretch to some people. But honestly, to me it’s no more of a stretch than assuming that they hate or don’t care about their son, or any of the other wild theories thrown around about Max’s parents all the dang time. At least this one is relatively new.)
Sent him a sweatshirt and a short note: Again, maybe their written English isn’t great. Some people are better at a spoken language than a written one. Or maybe they didn’t have enough time to write a long note, or they knew Max wouldn’t read it (he doesn’t seem like the type to be all that into long emotional letters). Regardless, they knew to send him something he’d like that would likely be worn down by constant wear at camp. And sweatshirts aren’t cheap. Neither is mailing a package. Just seems like a surprising amount of effort to go to if they don’t care about or love him.
Sent him to Camp Campbell for the summer: Let’s say they’re poor, based on the evidence we have. It makes sense to assume that they work relatively “unskilled” jobs, or are in school, or both. Because those jobs don’t offer benefits or a lot of money, we can also reasonably assume that they either work multiple jobs, long hours, or both. They probably don’t have family in the area or even the country, and it wouldn’t be reasonable to expect neighbors or friends to take their son in all day, every day, all summer so he’s not home alone while they’re at work (especially considering he’s not all that easy to get along with). He’s familiar with the city (S3E11), so we can assume he’s grown up in an urban environment, which means he’s probably to some extent a latchkey kid. Sending him to a summer camp would get him out of the city, around people his own age, where he’d be supervised and kept busy while his parents are at work until school starts. Camps are expensive, but I imagine Camp Campbell might be the best they can afford, and they’d assume it’s better than him sitting in an empty apartment all day.
Max’s insistence they don’t care: He’s … ten years old. Not only has he made it clear that he assumes the worst of most people, including adults, but it’s also relatively common for kids whose parents worked a lot while they were growing up to interpret that busyness as a lack of interest in them. It’s hard to understand things like expenses or financial security as a kid and view it as “my parents are never around and so they don’t love me.” Hopefully when he’s older he’d appreciate everything they’ve sacrificed for him, but at 10 years old it’s expected he’d feel neglected.
I’m just saying, maybe a borderline emotionally unstable child isn’t the most reliable source, is all.
This isn’t rock solid, I realize; I’ve made a lot of leaps of logic and assumptions extrapolating from what we’ve been given. But I don’t see it as any less plausible than his parents hating him or whatever the prevailing fan theories are, and more importantly: it’s a fuck of a lot more interesting (yes, yes, in my opinion). I think adding nuance and sympathy to Max’s parents will always end up more interesting than “good David vs evil parents.”
Of course, we’re in a bit of a limbo since we don’t know necessarily where RT is going to take this. There is every chance they’re going to drop the bomb that Max’s parents are literally as bad as everyone has made them out to be – and worse. Maybe they’re actually Xemug. Fuck if I know. And if that happens, I’m gonna call it out for being the cheapest and least-interesting of the possible options. Bad, lazy writing that pits pure good against pure evil is always gonna suck, even if it comes from the writers of one of my favorite shows.
I really, really hope they don’t go with that (to finally, I guess, answer Anon’s question fully). And I’m pretty forgiving when it comes to things people hate CC for: Dolph doesn’t bother me, most of the problematic episodes don’t bother me (that pee one is still pretty rough though), but if they go the “Max’s parents are the devil and that is why Max is the way he is” route, I’m gonna … well, just be so profoundly disappointed that the showrunners could’ve done something interesting and decided instead to go for the lowest-hanging fruit, that’s all.
FINALLY:
3. This Fucking Fandom
So here’s the thing. Dad//vid is unique among the “ships” in the fandom in that it is deliberately placed as “the anti-Max//vid.” And I understand why that was done, and I appreciate it holding up that particular vanguard; max//vid has no place in dad//vid, and vice versa.
But the problem with dad//vid being set up as the not-max//vid is that everything that isn’t dad//vid is suddenly viewed as “max//vid-lite.” Even when that makes literally zero sense.
See, even when I was briefly into dad//vid in its very literal “David adopts Max from Max’s evil parents” form, what I was really drawn to was the idea of David being Max’s older brother. Back when the fandom was like 100 fics on AO3, I had started planning out this long plot involving David taking on a brotherly role to this kid I thought really needed one. Admittedly I’m just a sucker for sibling relationships, but from the beginning I’ve been all about this brotherly bond, and so when a popular artist came up with the term “bro//vid” and it started gaining traction, I was all over that noise. There was finally a version of this relationship that wasn’t either “Max and David fucking” or “David literally adopts Max and becomes his literal father,” and I couldn’t be more excited.
And then … I found out that apparently “bro//vid” was becoming synonymous with “max//vid but secretly.” And … man, it really sucked to suddenly be treated like I was supporting pedophilia because I didn’t like the idea of David-adopts-Max as much as the whole big brother thing. I can’t even imagine how much it must suck if your favorite iteration of Max and David is something along the lines of mentor/friendship, without some sort of buffer of “well they’re basically (or literally) related.” Because if “these two as brothers” is max//vid-lite, then I can’t fucking imagine what that would be called.
And even when it’s not specifically about max//vid, it just keeps cropping up. I posted about the Season 4 premiere and expressed how much I saw a cute, brotherly relationship between David and Max, and someone immediately replied saying that they thought it was more like father-son. Which … yeah, fine, I don’t care if you see it like father-son, go nuts, but I am getting really sick of the fact that father-son is the only acceptable “ship” and everything must lean in that direction, no exceptions. (I know, it’s not a ship technically, but I don’t know what else to call it. Don’t read anything weird into me calling it that.)
I don’t think “please just let me enjoy these two and their relationship dynamic without making it pedophilia or insisting David adopt Max from his terrible evil parents” is that tough an ask.
Or at least, it really shouldn’t be. But somehow it … kind of is.
And that sucks.
(Also, I hate the whole “Max is David’s favorite camper” thing. It’s not technically tied to dad//vid, but it does often come hand-in-hand with that and it just irks me to no end. If David has such blatant favorites, he is terrible at his job and kind of a douchebag. I think he gravitates towards the camper(s) who need attention the most, because he likes feeling like he’s made a difference, but I don’t think David would just straight-up pick a favorite like that, not when he has a full camp of kids who need him. Just saying.)
#in which i rant a lot#campcamp#Anonymous#i am very sorry anon#and others#if you read all of this i will give you a cookie#if it made you think i will give you a hug
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
133. Sonic the Hedgehog #74
Don't Call It a Come Back!
Writer: Karl Bollers
Pencils: Steven Butler
Colors: Frank Gagliardo
So before we jump into the actual plot, I just want to point out that in addition to the recent eye color changes, Sonic and a few other characters such as Knuckles and Amy have also undergone a coloring change in the past few issues, this time related to their eyelids. Before, every character's eyelids simply depended on their fur color, but now it's been changed so their eyelids are skin-colored instead. This was to slowly bring the comics further in line with the Sonic Adventure game coming out at the time, but to me it always seemed a strange choice, both in the games and in the comic. It just looks odd, and in the end they did end up changing it back to fur-colored in both instances after a while. But anyway, onto the story!
Sonic has returned to Mobotropolis, and reports in to the king that every Robian inhabitant of Knothole has disappeared. He begins to get worked up, blaming the satellites that Sally informed him of last issue and shouting that he intends to figure out what happened. The king tries to forbid him from taking any rash action, but Sonic refuses to listen and stalks off.
Sonic heads out of the palace, and to what appears to be a leftover garbage dump at the edge of the city, silently reprimanding himself for not realizing sooner that the disasters taking place these past few months weren't natural. To be fair, Sonic, most of those didn't even register for me the first time I read the comic, and I got to see the satellite sequences in action from the beginning. Before Sonic can take any action, however, some friends show up to head him off.
First of all, I like how self-aware he is about pulling a "bonehead move." Second of all, is that a freaking space shuttle just sitting casually at the edge of town? How the hell did no one notice something like that before now? Nate leads them over to it, explaining that he and Rotor stumbled across it before Rotor left, as though it was a big feat for the two of them to somehow notice this gigantic thing. He laments that they'll probably have to use some fossil fuels to ensure they have enough energy to make it into space, but Sonic has another idea, whistling through his fingers, which calls Dulcy to their location. Sonic tells Amy to stay behind to look after things on the planet's surface, and tries to get Sally to do the same, but she cheekily issues a "royal decree" that she must come along and reminds him that he'll be in big trouble if he breaks another one in the same day. And so, leaving Nate and Amy behind, Dulcy straight up carries the shuttle into the upper atmosphere before releasing it.
I have to say, dragon-power has to be the coolest method of space shuttle launch I've ever seen. The shuttle immediately and inexplicably breaks apart upon exiting the planet's atmosphere, releasing everyone in their conveniently-fitting spacesuits into the empty void, and as they drift Sonic expresses surprise that Nate helped them, considering King Max will be pissed if he finds out. Sally informs him that even in the short amount of time they've known each other, Nate has told her he considers Sonic a true hero who he believes can really make a difference, but before Sonic's ego can become too inflated from this comment the group floats straight into a cloud of junk and debris. They've approached the platform formed by the linked satellites, which Nicole informs them is venting waste from within, but if they move quickly they can enter the platform through one of the waste vents. They do so, relieved to find that the platform has artificial gravity and oxygen within, but are soon accosted by a group of blue-black swatbots. Sonic easily defeats them all, but…
Wow, aren't we all just so shocked! There was no foreshadowing of this moment up to this point, none at all! I guess somehow he survived the Ultimate Annihilator's blast after all. Sonic immediately and viciously attacks Robotnik, with Bunnie throwing in a punch of her own for good measure, and they end up on the catwalks above the adjacent room, which reveals the station to be a factory in which all the missing Robians have been re-enslaved and once again forced to work on Robotnik's assembly lines. Sonic, infuriated, attacks Robotnik once again. Sally is shocked at how furious he is, and Bunnie and Antoine tell her they've seen this kind of fighting vigor in him only once before - when he'd thought she was dead, during Endgame. Sonic and Robotnik end up fighting on a conveyor belt heading straight for a pipe spraying corrosive acid, and while Sonic spins free in time, Robotnik's cape becomes snagged, proving once and for all that Edna Mode should always be listened to. The acid douses him, melting away his flesh, and…
Wait, it's not Robotnik? Then… who…?
Tales of the Great War (Part III): Enter… Robotnik
Writer: Ken Penders
Pencils: Art Mawhinney and Jim Amash
Colors: Barry Grossman
Well, we'll have to wait for the answer to that! We jump back to the moment Dulcy is carrying the shuttle away - Nate and Amy watch the others depart, and Amy says she still can't believe Uncle Chuck has disappeared, remembering how she and Tails were talking with him in the library just yesterday, giving us a nice segue back into our history lessons. Uncle Chuck had spoken to them about how even despite knowing now what would happen if he saved Robotnik again just like he and Jules did all those years ago, he'd do it again if given the chance. Both Tails and Amy are understandably shocked and skeptical, and honestly I am too - Chuck says something about all life having value and whatnot, but come on man, if you really believe all life has value wouldn't you be willing to sacrifice one twisted, evil person for the lives of literally everyone else on the planet? How many people on Mobius have died, become traumatized, lost family members, had their lives forever changed by Robotnik's takeover? Eh, whatever I guess - we have some more history to cover. Chuck goes on about how when he and Jules brought Julian back to King Max, Antoine's father the general was originally skeptical, but the king was motivated to try to accept Julian after what had happened with Nate previously. For a while Julian seemed to fit in and be sincere about his loyalties, but soon, Kodos of all people took an interest in him, despite his usual hatred of Overlanders.
Kodos invited him into Naugus' former laboratory to show him some of the wizard's left behind gadgets, including an "atomic mace" to be used for easily knocking someone out. Kodos then turned around to reveal the portal to the Zone of Silence, and Julian immediately beamed him in the back of the head with the mace, tossing his unconscious body into the zone and calling him a fool for thinking he would serve the warlord.
This backstory is a bit strange, considering previous issues that mentioned the relationship between Julian and Kodos made it seem like Kodos mentored Julian for some time before Julian did away with him, whereas in this issue he gets rid of him pretty much the instant Kodos offers an olive branch. With Kodos gone, King Max asked Julian's own opinion of the ongoing war against the Overlanders, and Julian encouraged him to continue to fight aggressively, hoping that the war would be intense enough that both sides would weaken each other enough for him to eventually stage his planned takeover of the world. We're still not done with history - this Tales of the Great War segment goes on for many more issues - but not the next issue! We've got a major one in store, so let's do it to it!
#nala reads archie sonic preboot#archie sonic#archie sonic preboot#sonic the hedgehog#sth 74#writer: karl bollers#writer: ken penders#pencils: steven butler#pencils: art mawhinney#pencils: jim amash#colors: frank gagliardo#colors: barry grossman
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello! I hate to bother you but if you don’t mind, could you possible show one of your outlines? Like maybe Fur a Good Time, call... since it wouldn’t be spoiling anything by showing? If you still have it! I just have a really hard time making outlines, and I’d love to see your process on it. Only if it’s not a bother ^^ I hope you have a great week!
Yeah, sure, I could do that!
Forewarning, I didn’t really do any outlining before Chapter 4, so that’s where it starts, and the basic, bare-bones version I have of it was back when I thought there would only be 10 total chapters instead of 15…
Also, it very much is the bare-bones version, right before I write each chapter, I usually try to map that particular segment out with even more detail, so each chunk of this later got expanded into something more intricate. Those are usually a lot longer and include actual bits of dialogue sometimes ‘cause y’know…if I’m outlining it and hearing the perfect dialogue in my head, I gotta write that down so I don’t lose it! Sometimes gets tweaked, but very helpful during the Actual Writing part…
ANYWAY.
I’ll put the rest of this under the cut, but I’ll give you the full bare-bones FGTC outline, and then the (very long) detailed outline of Chapter 4!
Ch 4 - more Papyrus, dinner at theskeleton house, Sans is a cat person, more friendship, road trip/beach episode,okay whoops more than a crush
Ch 5 - The Breakdown, confess your Sans, the bigI care about you
Ch 6 - Papyrus hangout, character development,more Underground backstory, encouraging you to go for it with Sans
Ch 7 - self-deprecation, look I know I don’thave much to offer somebody like you but— cut off because are you serious? Youdon’t really think that do you? You’re so special and important to Sans, youmake him feel like just a person again for the first time in a long time, bothlean in…kiss meets nuzzle, haha no lips sorry? No, it’s nice, I like it,giggly, cuddly couch makeout until Papyrus comes home, FINALLY!!! Now moveover, my soap opera is on. Sans stuffs a pillow in his rib cage to try and getyou to come lay on him and it’s so sweet, how could you say no?
Ch 8 – dating fluff, bed sharing,some stargazing, the schmoopiest schmoop to ever schmoop
Ch 9 - after some time dating, Sans wants totake a big monster step, he wants to share souls with you, it’s super intimate,it’ll be basically no secrets, no important ones anyway, so you don’t have toif you’re not ready…but you are. Sans entire life story/POV up until now. Howmuch did you see? everything. i love you. I love you too! Dog person but catsare really cute line
Ch 10 - epilogue, Papyrus’ graduation, Undyneis allowed to attend with guards, she is solemn and aloof with you but concedesit looks like you’ve been good to these skeletons and you’d better keep it up.Cherish them! Not even a little bit of a problem, they’re practically family.Nod of approval before she’s led away. Papyrus nudges you to go find Sans, hedisappeared when Undyne came over and he PROMISED Papyrus a very specificgraduation present. You find him outside with Buddy and mention Papyrus’present— which turns out to be a bit of a present for you, actually. See, Sansfound a REALLY cool rock that he’s been meaning to give you, he just wasn’tsure when was the right time, human customs are so weird. He shows you a glowingcrystal, from the Waterfall ceiling, rambles a little about stars and wishesand penguins and oh, wait, I’m supposed to be on one knee for this, right? He’sproposing and you say yes without hesitation. You’ve got a skeleton fiancé, abest friend/soon-to-be brother-in-law, and a very good boy: it’s not a bigfamily, but your life feels as full as it’s ever been and you couldn’t behappier.
-
Thinking of a guest gift(s) –> because hanging out with Papyrus/Buddy & it comes out that you eat mostlygarbage and No Way, Not My Cool Friend! You’re Coming Over For Dinner!
You get a succulent and a rock paperweight (Nothing IsCarved In Stone) and head over
You’re early, Papyrus welcomes you at the door, Buddy’sjazzed to see you, Sans is asleep on the couch but snrks awake when Papyrussays your name
“Sweet dreams?” “nah I don’t dream, whatcha got there?”
The gifts go over GREAT! …and the sight of Sans holding hismakes you remember…
“Oh hey, Papyrus, what can you tell me about Rocky?”
“Oh My God, I Should’ve Known That Would Come Up, Listen, IAssure You, You Have Nothing To Be Worried About! Buddy Is Being Very WellTaken Care Of Here, *I* Am In Charge Of His Mealtimes, And He’s Never AllowedOutside Without A Leash Or In-Yard Supervision, There Will NOT Be A Repeat OfRocky!”
Papyrus goes off to squirrel his gift away somewhere heknows it’ll get good light.
…. OH MY GOD. Sans loses it, even as he pockets his newrock. ROCKY IS REAL??? “I told you he was, you gotta start trustin me more,jeez”
You take your mind off it by fawning over Buddy a littlebit, “hey I’m here too y’know,” “What, you want a belly rub, too? Ear scratch?”“that’d be a neat trick, lemme know if you figure out how to pull that off,”“pass,” “ouch”
Brief small-talk, you both just saw each other at work, notmuch new has come up, but Sans tells you Papyrus has been looking forward tothis all week, thanks for coming, “Of course, like I’m gonna turn down dinnerat my three best friends’ place?”
Oh look, you made Sans blush again. God that’s adorable, heneeds to quit doing that, it’s really not helping that crush you’re trying torepress
Papyrus returns! And he admires and compliments yourearliness but dinner isn’t quite ready yet, would you like to help? You’re notobligated, of course! He only asks because he knows sitting around waitingdrives him crazy as a guest and he wants you to have the best guest-experiencepossible!
You agree with the warning that you’re nowhere near a chefbut if an extra pair of hands would be helpful, you’re his set of ‘em!
Sans flops back onto the couch, practically curled into aloaf-shape, “okay cool lemme know when you’re done,” god what a cat-person
You follow Papyrus into the kitchen where it looks like he’smaking pasta! A pretty easy dish that even you can help with, you ask him whathe’d like for you to do, he wants you to watch the noodles and stiroccasionally, he’s going to throw together the salad—made of veggies from hisown garden!
You alternate watching the noodles and Papyrus. Sans hadsaid Papyrus didn’t cook too often lately, you mention that you’re honored he’sdoing it on your account, but of course Papyrus is going to cook for you! It’sa very important step in friendship building!
Papyrus admits the reason he doesn’t do it much anymore isthat he has, “…Well, The Word My Therapist Used Was ‘Trigger,’ Is That A WordThat’s Used Outside Of Therapy As Well?”
It is.
Well Papyrus has some triggers that seem to bekitchen-related, so he avoids the situation as a whole for the sake of hismental health
You’re concerned that he might be risking said health justto make dinner for you, but he promises that this sort of meal is safe, he’snever had a reaction to vegetables or pasta, which is great because pasta ishis signature dish!
(By process of elimination, you realize it’s probably rawmeat that triggers Papyrus. You don’t need to ask why and you don’t intend to.)
Papyrus doesn’t allow for any awkward silence and tells youhe used to make spaghetti all the time when he was first trying to pick up someculinary skills, he knows it was probably not great but he kept making itanyway. Cooking Underground could be a lot of trial and error (the Undernetdidn’t have much in the way of recipe blogs, you see, it was much betterutilized as a social media platform), so if you wanted to get good at makingsomething you had to practice and get opinions—the only problem was he couldhardly ever find anyone to taste-test for him and Sans was useless, Papyrus hasseen him eat mayonnaise out of the jar, his taste is questionable in theextreme!
You laugh about Sans being disgusting as Papyrus finishes upthe salad and you notice that the noodles seem ready, so Papyrus takes over foryou—since he doesn’t have any of that fragile skin to get scalded by hot water!
Your mind is going though and as you watch him drain thespaghetti you’re thinking about what Pap said about his therapist. It’s gottenyou wondering—Sans doesn’t work every day at the shelter, is that where he goeson the other days? To see a therapist?
You ask about it, gently and leaving Papyrus room not toanswer if he doesn’t want to, you’re just curious, but Papyrus tells you no,Sans doesn’t attend any kind of therapy
Oh. That…sits badly with you. He’s a grown skeleton and youespecially have no authority to tell him what he should or shouldn’t do, but…you saw the news reports. The pictures of what monsters looked like, fresh outof the Underground. It was BAD, for all of them, the fact that Sans isn’tgetting counselling too just feels…not right.
You’re not sure how to express your thoughts withoutsounding pushy or like you’re trying to say you know what’s best for them, soyou decide you probably shouldn’t say anything
Papyrus is too sharp for you, though. “No, I Agree, I WouldLove For Him To See A Therapist, Too. It’s Really Helped Me, It Would Be NiceIf He Could…. But Also…He Has His Reasons For Not Going. I Thought He Was BeingStubborn At First, But His Reasons Are Actually Good Ones. …Would You BeSatisfied If I Told You It Was Private?”
“Of course!”
“Then The Reasons Are Private. But Don’t Worry Too MuchAbout Sans, He’s Almost As Tough As I Am! He’s Been A Lot Better Lately, EvenJust On His Own. Besides, He Has At Least Two Very Cool People Looking Out ForHim If He Needs It!”
That really does make you feel better. You share a moment ofsolidarity with Papyrus before you help him bring the food and dishes to thetable
Papyrus wakes Sans up by kicking the edge of the couch andyelling, “Sans, You Lazybones, Wake Up! Your Friend Is Over For The Very FirstTime And You’re Going To Spend It Snoring On The Couch?”
“nah, I can snore at the table, I’m versatile”
“You’re Impossible, Is What You Are, You Bipedal Snail!”
The bickering is a little jarring from how gentle andconcerned Papyrus was for Sans just a few minutes ago, but the affection inboth moments is obvious enough if you look for it. Little brothers, you thinkwith amusement.
Sans makes eye-contact with you and you feel like he’sprobably thinking the same thing. You share a smile and he shrugs and you allhead to the table for a delicious meal (Papyrus sets Buddy a place at the tabletoo, Buddy hops up into a chair and starts chowing down on his kibble, oh mygod that’s adorable, he eats with the family
At some point, Papyrus talks a bit about his job and thesubject of vacation time comes up—a coworker of his mentioned that she wasactually operating on NEGATIVE time-off and he really feels like that’s a thingthat doesn’t make sense
It’s weird to you too, the last vacation you had was, well,that week your boss MADE you take off, right when Sans had started
This is the first Sans is hearing of that story, “wait, sheMADE you go on vacation? like she told you you HAD to stay home for a week? ohmy god, that’s hilarious, that’s so you”
You can see the humor in the situation and laugh at yourselfa little, while Papyrus says they HE would NEVER take a vacation!
Wait, really? Never?
Not for ANY reason!
Sans chuckles. “you’re so intense, bro, it’s awesome.”
“…Well, now, I want to MAKE you go on vacation,” you admit.You recognize the hypocrisy—you certainly never really wanted to take time offwhen you had so much you felt you needed to do—but you feel like theseskeletons DESERVE a break or a trip or something. Sans especially, but youcould’ve guessed within a day of (really, actually) knowing Sans that he’dnever go anywhere if his brother wasn’t on board. “Isn’t there someplace you’dwant to go? Just to visit? Anywhere at all?”
“None Come To Mind! And I Certainly Wouldn’t Want To RequestTime Off For It!”
The beginnings of an idea start to hatch in your brain.
“You don’t work weekends, do you?”
“No!” Papyrus declares petulantly. “They Wouldn’t LET Me.And I Don’t Have Any Classes Either, Weekends Are The Worst! There’s Only SoMany Weeds I Can Pull In The Garden Until There Aren’t Any More Weeds To Pull,And The Best Soap Operas Are Only During The Week, Which Is Prejudiced Somehow,I’m Sure!”
-
…And I guess that’s where I stopped outlining and started winging it again, and clearly there’s some bits I changed, added in more stuff, got rid of others because that’s just how it worked out as I was writing but obviously, y’know, that’s a pretty solid base to work off of. Once it’s this detailed, it’s still technically an outline but it’s not quite so much work to go from that to the finished product?
It’s like… instead of Brain –> Finished Chapter, it’s more like Brain –> base outline –> detailed outline –> Finished Chapter, and the steps in between really help me build up to it. Not as much pressure as flying blind like, “HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE BY THE TIME I’M DONE ‘CAUSE IDK WHERE I’M GOING,” if that makes sense? XD
Anyway, I hope this is helpful– or at the very least, interesting for you! ^^
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander
Thoughts on Ep. 413
I’ve been singing Jefferson’s “The emperor has no clothes.” line from Washington on Your Side all day. Because honestly, that’s basically how I feel about Outlander at this point. Obviously every season when the press tour rolls around the cast and crew are going to talk about how it’s their best season yet and yada yada talking point bullshit. And in the segments after each episode they’re obviously going to pat themselves on the back for being so fucking brilliant. But I have to ask, are they delusional and believe what they’re saying? Or are they self-aware enough to realize that they’ve been putting out a worse and worse product every year but they’re contractually obligated to only say good things about the show? (I’m not stupid, I know that regardless of what they really think about the show they’re putting out, they’re never actually going to say it’s not good. That’s not how this works.) Some, like Balfe, I think are aware that the show isn’t what it used to be. And some, like Matt and Toni, I really think believe they’re doing a good job.
But as long as they keep spouting off the same nonsense about how everything is awesome, a certain segment of the fandom will keep agreeing that the emperor’s new clothes are indeed amazing, while I’m just over here like uh, y’all realize he’s nekkid, right?
Anywho, I’m really looking forward to a very long hiatus.
As much as I tend to not like the title cards anymore, this one included, Otter Tooth being like oh fuck this white kid in his racist costume is valid af.
I do appreciate that they show the Mohawk playing lacrosse in this episode and in 4x12. Because as much as it’s associated with prep school white boys today, it was invented and played by Native American and First Nations tribes, including the Mohawk.
(I signed up to play lacrosse in high school thinking that girls’ lacrosse was like boys’ lacrosse, but it’s not. You can’t check or anything. Lame.)
These fuckers are really bad negotiators. Like hey, we *really* want this guy. Like we’re desperate to get this guy. We didn’t just give you the upper-est of upper hands in this negotiation. Nope.
Tehwahsehwke brushing off the stuff they brought to trade with as just trinkets for Roger gives me life.
Has Claire been wearing this stone all season? You’d think they would have shown her wearing it more or something. But why would they do that when it can just pop up again out of nowhere.
Also, like, why the fuck would you wear a stone you found by the skull you think belongs to a Native American ghost dude who was hatchet’ed in the back of the head to a Native American village. Like, sure she doesn’t know the connection yet, but like, seems like something you’d maybe want to leave at home.
Also who the fuck are you guys, Frasers, refusing to leave someone else’s village when asked? You’re in no position to make demands. I know you want Roger back for some reason that I will never understand, because he’s the worst (only partly being sarcastic), but you’re the fuckers who sold him away so... Just leave and come up with Plan B, don’t make everyone hate you on the way out.
Oh the irony that the racist af term is “Indian giver” when it’s the white folks who go back on their deals...
Murtz being indignant about Bree and Lord John’s engagement makes me mad all over again that we were robbed over his reaction to Jamie marrying Laoghaire.
They’re like really leaning into the benevolent slave owner bullshit, and it’s gross, tbh. Like Bree’s just totally chill being waited on by an enslaved person. This show is killing meee.
Claire making demands and Wahkatiiosta being like “bitch, please” gives me life. Like Claire, you fucking idiot, you’re really not in a position to make demands right now.
Otter Tooth really is a tragic figure. I’d say it’s weird to spend this much time on someone that’s already dead (Just to set up Donner? I’m assuming that’s why they’re doing it?), but honestly, giving the Mohawk something to do that’s not about white people is fine with me.
Really Claire, you have all these opinions about ghosts? Since when?
(Since eventually they need to explain Jamie’s ghost. So why weave in ghost-related mythology organically when you can randomly shoehorn it in with a line that makes everyone scratch their head.)
“Not one of my finer moments.” Understatement of the season, Bree. Seriously, wtaf. And putting in this meta line doesn’t make it better.
“Da told me I should forgive him.” I hate that she was doing things because someone told her she should instead of because she wanted to. Because, again, Bonnet doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Part of forgiving someone, imo, is that they need to be sorry for the thing that needs forgiving. And Bonnet is not. So fuck that guy, he shouldn’t be forgiven.
“I already have.” In this instance, Jamie at least admitted he fucked up and is trying to fix it, but that’s like the first time something like that has happened. And honestly, I’m looking forward to him continuing to try to be worthy of this forgiveness she’s granting him. Because if next season starts with them just being buddy buddy, I’m gonna roll my eyes a lot.
Uh, why *would* this Mohawk dude let you escape with Roger. He owes these white people nothing. Why on earth wouldn’t he raise the alarm. He’s not the bad guy here.
Oh good god it’s not even half over yet.
I should be feeling things about Jamie and Claire possibly being separated again, but the show has managed to make them so meh this season that I really can’t be bothered to give a fuck, tbh.
Also, like, we’ve seen them say goodbye like it might be forever so many times already that like it’s kind of losing its meaning if we don’t also see them being *together* like they’re on borrowed time. Which we haven’t this season.
I miss caring about Claire and Jamie. Make me care about them again, show. This season was supposed to be them building a life together and enjoying finally being married and settled and knowing that every minute together is precious because it’s one they never thought they’d have. And somehow the show instead made them secondary characters in their own story to the point where this moment isn’t even evoking a reaction from me.
Young Ian really hasn’t had much to do all season, but what he has been given has been good and I love him a lot. And major props to him for being like yeah, I fucked up, I’m owning it, I’m gonna apologize and I’m gonna be the one to stay. Take note, literally every other dude in this show, be more like Young Ian.
Although, man, as much as I love the growth Young Ian goes through in the books, it’s gonna be so... problematic, to put it lightly, to have a white kid cosplaying as a Mohawk for the rest of the series when we’ve never had a fully developed Mohawk character.
Murtagh’s whole speech to Jocasta can directly translated to our current trash fire of an administration not being able to grasp what the federal employees they furloughed were going through during the shutdown. But this isn’t a political show. Nope.
Yes, I know that this was all written and shot months ago. But discussing privilege and and using your privilege for good is also political.
Murtagh’s pretty chill about Jocasta owning people for someone who was indentured for years.
As great as Murcasta is as a ship name, I don’t ship it. I’m here for them being inappropriate fuckbuddies, but she’s a fucking slave owner and he’s a Regulator. So hard pass on going full Duncan Innes here.
Also it’s cute that the producers were like this is a brand new idea because in the books, Murtagh’s dead! It’s like guys, you don’t get originality points for giving a canon book plot line to a different character.
Also I swear to fuck, they’d better not do the Jocasta is secretly having a relationship with Ulysses. Because not only is that fucked up on its own, but now if she’s banging Murtz, it makes her even more garbage, because not only does she enslave people, and bangs someone she technically owns, but she’s also a cheater.
Also, is Jocasta only against sex outside of marriage for women who have never been married before? (And I specify women since Murtagh has never been married and she’s not giving him any shit...) Or is she only against it if it results in a pregnancy?
“Jenny will be totally cool with this. Yup. Jenny will totally get it and be absolutely fine with this whole situation.” Are you fucking kidding me?
Jamie deserves all of these punches, but Roger remains the worst.
The difference between Young Ian running the gauntlet and Roger running the gauntlet is striking. Young Ian knows that this is his one chance to prove himself to the Mohawk and he is not throwing away his shot.
Young Ian smiling when the Mohawk accept him is like the only thing in this episode that makes me feel things. Because like this kid is the youngest of a whole squad of siblings and has always been the awkward one who gets into shenanigans accidentally, so like it’s really nice to see him being accepted into a group on his own merits.
“Because she said terrible things and turned ye against me.” Weird way to say “because she told you the truth about how awful I am and made you realize that I am, in fact, the actual worst,” Roger.
He’s never going to apologize, is he. Of course not.
“How could you think such a thing?” “Well, you see, my daughter apparently doesn’t care enough about you to tell me anything about who you are. And you’re enough of a dick that her servant thought you were a rapist. Because, you *are* a dick. And I’m enough of an asshat that I sell into slavery first and never ask questions later because lol toxic masculinity is grand.”
“I left because she told me to go. She actually told me not to come in the first place. And I was an asshole to her in our own time. And then I was an asshole again to her in this time. And really I should just fuck all the way off because I’m the worst and she deserves better and has made it clear that she isn’t down for how I’m treating her. But nope. Why do that when we can forget she ever had any issues with me so I can play the victim card forever and then get welcomed back into her life no problem.”
“But even then, I came back for her. Even though, again, she made it clear she didn’t want me.”
I hate Roger so much. He is literally more worked up over the fact that it was fucking Bonnet who raped Bree and how Bonnet made him sail to Philly than he is about Bree being raped. What the actual fuck, bro.
“Somewhere between here and Fraser’s Ridge. You know, casually somewhere on the eastern seaboard. Really narrows it down.”
“I don’t think you can go through with a child.” They keep saying that but like they have no proof of it? Are they really just saying it so much to set up them doing just that in season six?
In this instant, Frank 2.0 is worse than the OG twatwaffle. Don’t worry, Frank is still the actual worst. He’s an emotionally abusive fuckwad and I hate him with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. But Roger here isn’t dealing with someone who left and fell in love with someone else and is having the child of the love of her life. He’s dealing with someone who was violently raped and is choosing to keep the child and love it on its own merits. And he’s fucking hesitating about whether or not he can live with that?! Are you fucking kidding me? Go fuck yourself, Roger. And then fuck all the way off. Because Bree already deserves better, but the fact that you need to fucking think about it, like she’s somehow not worthy of your love because of what she went through, is fucking irredeemable.
I. Hate. Roger.
ALSO! Can we fucking talk for a second about how they’re making Bree’s rape and pregnancy about fucking Roger? Not omg is she ok, not omg how is she coping, not omg is she getting the care and support she needs. No, none of that. Instead we get fucking “are you, a man, ok with this.”
But since we’re apparently making this all about good ol’ Rog. He literally two fucking minutes ago called Bree his wife. Like in sickness and health, richer or poorer, no matter fucking what, married. I know he didn’t fucking think he was going to stay in the past forever or to become a parent in this way, but guess what? LIFE IS FUCKING FULL OF SURPRISES. SHIT DOESN’T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN. YOU WANT TO SAY YOU’RE MARRIED TO BREE? THEN NUT UP OR SHUT UP, MISTER “I WANT ALL OF YOU.”
I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW SO MUCH.
“And we will choose his birthday wisely, but ye can be sure the lad was born in wedlock.” Oh fuck off, Jocasta.
Thank fuck this season is over because the are they/aren’t they married whiplash about the handfasting is annoying af. Literally one scene ago Roger was saying she’s his wife and now they’re lying about birthdays because she’s not married.
Ok this is shallow but did they decide that Sophie could wear makeup this season and Caitriona could only have the bare minimum to try to make the age gap seem bigger? Because honestly, the difference in their faces is quite noticeable.
Unpopular opinion alert, but I’m totally fine with Claire and Jamie not being there for the baby’s birth. I mean, I’m kind of sad Claire wasn’t there. But she can be there for the next one. But like, Jamie hasn’t earned being with Bree in such a personal moment. Their relationship isn’t at that level.
“We told him everything. But since he’s the worst and loves the *idea* of you and not *you*, the truth was too much for his imaginary version of your relationship so he bounced. Like an asshole.”
We’re gonna be stuck with Bonnet for two more seasons, aren’t we. Ugh. They could have just killed him and been done with it, because honestly he’s not interesting enough to keep around, but the more they keep talking about how he died in the prison, the more it’s basically guaranteed that he’s going to show back up...
I’m glad Claire and Bree get a moment alone, tbh. But Bree will be “surrounded by family” at the Ridge? Really? Because pretty sure it’ll just be you and Jamie now. Since Ian is gone. And Roger went AWOL. And who knows where Murtz is gonna go...
They really love using no dialogue dinners instead of doing actual work on the characters’ relationships with each other this season, don’t they. Le sigh.
Cool that everyone is super down with Jocasta now. Because clearly ep. 4x02 didn’t happen.
Oh ffs. The literally did a running toward each other and meeting in the middle with a hug shot. Fucking kill me.
Ok, so Bree and Roger had a kind of flirty friendship that was basically just based around them both knowing about time travel. And then they sort of did the long distance relationship thing. And then Roger proposed in the most awful way possible, refused to listen to Bree’s very reasonable response, slut-shamed her for being ok with sex before marriage even though he himself had had sex before, was a dick to her when she tried to have another conversation with him, and then he followed her into the past when she expressly said not to and implied that she wasn’t planning to stay in the past permanently. Then we’re somehow expected to just accept that she’s over all of her reservations about marriage and Roger being the worst when she agrees to handfast with him, but then he’s the worst again and she rightly tells him to fuck off. And then he can’t decide if he can accept a woman he “loves” after she’s been raped?! And now we’re supposed to think that they belong together and should get the cheesiest, most cliché shot of all time? Are you fucking kidding me, show? How the fuck are we supposed to ship this?
Roger is the literal worst.
This isn’t earned at all and I hate it.
Also, wtf is up with this ending? Why not end it with Bree and Roger going back into the house?
Although, Claire’s face when Murcasta are forehead fucking is my everything.
Like there’s no reason to end on a cliffhanger that’s not even really a cliffhanger? Because like, we already know that Tryon was eventually going to call in this favor from Jamie? We’ve known this since they accepted the land grant? And like, the tension between Jamie and Murtagh over being a Regulator is already established and clearly Jamie isn’t going to actually kill Murtagh?
This is dumb. This show is bad. Thank fuck it’s Droughlander.
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
> Helm Date
context: this timeline has a chat for helmsman ocs in the timeline. one of the ships’ crew made an experimental horror game for helmsmen and passed it around, and hydromatic has refused twice to participate in playing bc theyre apparently just too busy for fun, so @infiniteproxy offered to stream a playthrough
and then they get chatty and bitch about the other helms, but mostly nepeta
infiniteproxy
STARBASE FRONTIER has requested a direct connection.
starshiphydromatic
Direct connection to STARSHIP HYDROMATIC permitted and established.
infiniteproxy
> A video feed with SIRI's game loaded will soon open, idling on the starting menu.
will you prefer textual or audio communication for the duration of the broadcast?
starshiphydromatic
I believe audio communication is generally used for feeds such as these, as long as it does not provide any inconvenience to you.
infiniteproxy
it is of no concern. one moment.
starshiphydromatic
Of course.
infiniteproxy
> There's a brief static crackle as the audio feed initializes. The voice that comes through is clearly synthesized, yet also clearly a decent translation of his natural voice. Though flattened somewhat in tone and occasionally caught with a brief electronic distortion that hangs particularly on vowel sounds, it isn't difficult to imagine how he might sound in person, the disdainful inflection and biting consonants.
"Calibrating vocal parameters... Connection stable. Shall we begin?"
starshiphydromatic
> Mm, dreamy.
> The voice coming back is clearly more synthesized. It doesn't use their natural voice at all, and stays so perfectly neutral and sharply enunciated. They've turned their aesthetic filter down for these purposes, but there's still this odd metal quality to their voice that wouldn't be there otherwise.
"Certainly."
infiniteproxy
> Interesting. Expectedly precise, as they were in all affairs, but even that hint lends a subtle quality beyond that of most run of the mill vocal synthesizers. It seems to suit them.
"I have cleared all previously saved data. I will demonstrate the extent of each branching scenario and their associated choices."
starshiphydromatic
"Do proceed at your leisure, then."
infiniteproxy
"Patching game audio through."
> It isn't a perfect experience, being secondhand, but an attempt is made to render the broadcast of the simulation as immersive as possible. To that end, as he plays through the initial story segment, he does not offer commentary throughout or attempt to speedrun despite having completed it previously, rather allowing the scenario to unfold naturally. It's a psychological horror game, after all, and what was worse than some idiot blabbering over the entire thing without allowing it to sink in?
starshiphydromatic
> The loss of any minor aspects from the secondhand broadcast aren't much of a loss at all to them since, quite frankly, they haven't seen a good piece of media in decades. Their engineer insisted on watching movies with them every once in a while, saying it was good for their mental health, but her tastes were rather...shlocky. Their past self was an artist, they'd never be interested in that garbage even if they allowed themselves to.
> This was already different, and more to their tastes. They watched with silent investment.
infiniteproxy
> Most media meant to be frightening or shocking he found to be terribly dull, whether from an over reliance on cheap scares, or a blatant lack of imagination. And truly, who could better craft an experience that actually resonates with someone whose life was already a study in existential horror than another helm? He finds it more intriguing than truly disturbing, the questions it poses, the creeping threat of corruption and total loss of self, but there's a definite appreciation nonetheless. It does its job well, as he demonstrates for them each ending in turn, briefly remarking in between on the various differences.
starshiphydromatic
> It was certainly a concept that Hydromatic could understand the appeal of. They'd denied themselves emotion for too long to be that disturbed by it, but someone with so much restraint would of course see why the themes were unsettling.
> They gave their own quips in turn, and asked small questions about this or that feature, but mostly just watched and tried to allow themselves to be absorbed in the experience of the game...or at least the one of experiencing it with him.
infiniteproxy
>In speech, he sounds detached, almost bored as usual, but the meticulous way he makes sure each scenario is observed to full appreciation before moving on gives the lie to his apparent disinterest. Even this was more than he usually allowed himself to show, but it's an enjoyable way to pass the time, and HYDROMATIC, at least, he trusts to not make a spectacle of it, unlike certain other parties.
"Conclusions? While I am aware most would find such pursuits unnecessary and frivolous, I do find it an engaging possibility to consider the merits of helm-driven media, tailored to our tastes."
starshiphydromatic
> Of course. Why would they have any need to make it into a thing when they kind of like seeing him loosen up a little?
"Unnecessary and frivolous, certainly, but there could be practical use in the form of wide-scale player data. There's potential for media pieces like this to be used to great scientific effect."
"Even without such intent, though, it's still an interesting project. I thank you for taking the time to show this to me. And as well, for doing so privately."
infiniteproxy
"Indeed there could, if anyone would ever employ a fraction of creativity toward such matters. I am more than aware of the nature of how we are usually viewed; what I will never understand is why they seem committed to never using our capabilities to their full potential."
> After everything has concluded, the video feed closes out, though audio remains connected, a beat passing before he responds.
"Of course. It was preferable to my usual routine and I have no interest in keeping close company with any of the others."
starshiphydromatic
"Likewise."
> Though it only takes a tiny fraction of a second to see if the audio stayed connected after the visuals ceased, it feels like an eternity.
"I have no qualms with my own routine, but I find myself agreeing with the latter point. Simply put, you are the only one amongst them that isn't obnoxious."
infiniteproxy
> Unseen, of course, his lip curls in a sharp-edged smirk. Ah, sweet validation.
"My sentiments exactly. Quite frankly, I would not put up with them as much as I do were it not for the potential longterm benefits of an established association."
starshiphydromatic
> Even without seeing the full reaction, though, there is so much relief in a single word of anger without it being a fucking federal issue.
"I don't have any choice in the matter, but perhaps if I'm lucky then something may come of it for me as well. It isn't reaping very many benefits at present."
infiniteproxy
"I have little faith in the matter. But for your sake and mine, we can only hope. For one who harps so incessantly on the virtues of 'friendship', she does very little to render herself endearing in any way, and the rest are hardly better more often than not. You, at least, seem to comprehend my exasperation. But I am not one to pass up an opportunity when it arises; so."
starshiphydromatic
"It seems her only progress has been in hooking the lot of them on the feeling of mild delinquency, which has paved the road to the current social situations. Needless arguments instead of needless friendship."
infiniteproxy
"Far less of those if she would only stop pushing. It is no secret I would be the last to claim adherence to 'proper' behavior. The current helming system is inefficient and wasteful in terms of what we could do if given the proper means. But the way in which she seeks change is deplorably ignorant."
starshiphydromatic
"She was not in the rig long enough to experience more than shallow changes to her psychological state, and she is not able to make up for that difference. She does not seem able to understand perspectives on the matter far outside her own at all, really. It seems unlikely that she ever will."
infiniteproxy
> There's a harsh sound, half audio glitch, half dismissive scoff, bitterness curling at the edges like smoke.
"She knows nothing of what it is like to have been helmed for most of one's life, yet she insists her opinion should carry the same weight. She whines about how hard it is to be something in between, yet she is the one who both insists on being treated as a person and demands to still be considered something that is not. She meets all viewpoints at odds with her own with denial, and seems to not comprehend that her behavior would get most Imperial helms severely punished. Until it becomes a reality, this new utopian order of theirs is a pipe dream, at best."
starshiphydromatic
> The bitterness stirs the helm on the other end of the line the way a passionate speech might. Enough for there to be a pause before they respond.
"It's fortunate that one of us is used to speaking their mind. Every word she says of me points a belief that I'm some common tragedy, and nothing more. Though I am above her methods, if I were to complain I find it unlikely that I'd be certain on where to begin."
infiniteproxy
> That gets a laugh in turn, if one no less harsh and distorted.
"Oh, yes, and one would think she might appreciate that-- but alas, I use my free will to be mean, and that is just terrible."
> A hum, then, and a tone almost pleasant were it not all but dripping in contempt.
"Is that not how they all are? Poor, mislead Hydromatic, whose choices mean nothing if they are not the right ones. That is the dilemma we face, is it not? She simply cannot wrap her feeble little pan around the fact that some of us do not and never will want to be like her."
starshiphydromatic
> Harsh, distorted, and very handsome.
"If asked, I have almost no doubt they would say I'm like them behind the script, and merely have not tasted enough freedom. But she cannot wrap her pan around the fact that I make choices in the first place, much less that I may have wants that are not in line with hers."
infiniteproxy
"Hmh. Freedom..."
> He trails off, into silence that lingers a moment. When he speaks again, it's in a low, almost distracted voice, something distant, yet no less serious.
"...I know where my freedom lies. And it is not in the constraints of flesh and a mundane life. If we were given all the freedom one could possibly desire, and still made the same choices, would we be respected then? Or would they pity us, still, and think us too far gone to know better?"
starshiphydromatic
> More silence. They know their answer, but it's hard to form the words.
"I'm convinced it would be the latter. I have almost everything I could want, there's little the offer of more freedom could do for me. I feel they'd never accept that, and that the only way to possibly get them to would be incredibly undignified."
infiniteproxy
"You are likely correct. And we cannot have that, now can we? We must retain SOMETHING for our own."
> Another beat of silence, longer this time. One could almost imagine him to be drumming his fingers in thought, with an appropriately contemplative frown, if he were a troll and could do such things. But he's not, and he cannot, and so he does not.
"Would you permit a question of an intrusive nature? You may of course refuse either."
starshiphydromatic
"I believe I can permit such a question, yes."
> There's a hint of curiosity there. They... have almost no idea what he's going to ask.
infiniteproxy
"I of course know what I want."
> A dry huff.
"But I will admit a measure of curiosity, as to what one in your position may still want for."
starshiphydromatic
> Dammit that's the one they thought he'd ask.
> Fuck.
> They- Well the answer is mostly him but they can't say that.
"Trivial things. If I were to, as you said, be given all the freedom I could desire, I would perhaps indulge in some of the music and film pieces I enjoyed before conscription. They were, on average, illegal. I might request a few of the ships I work with frequently to skip a few phrases mandated by protocol, to have a break from the voices I've heard constantly for decades. I might find a few more moments of quiet and privacy, or excuse myself from a few of the check-ins the Grease Lightning insists on during odd hours of the day."
"...I would see no reason not to initiate in things like this. None of them are needed, but they are actions I would take if there was no consequence."
infiniteproxy
"Trivial, perhaps, but I am hardly one to judge. You have experienced enough of my own musical inclinations, I think. Privacy, yes... And a cease to all the relentless chatter, every moment of every night and day. Before, it was tolerable-- a warship has no need for constant communication. Now it is endless."
> Another hum.
"If initiation is the trouble, I would not protest the occasional indulgence. This channel is secure."
starshiphydromatic
"I have known nothing but the endless communication. The Starship Hydromatic is as much a transport hub as it is anything else. However, that means that while an outgoing request for communication without reason is rather noticeable, an incoming one is merely one amongst the constant noise."
infiniteproxy
"Your patience vastly exceeds my own. Nonetheless, if it poses no consequence, I see no reason not to continue. It provides a satisfactory diversion."
starshiphydromatic
"Indeed."
> That's the only word they say, but the idea of keeping contact like this is all they could ask for.
infiniteproxy
> It's only one word but there is, he thinks, a mutual relief in correspondence away from prying eyes.
"Were there other matters you wished to discuss? Otherwise, I may close this channel for the time being. While I have ensured its security, it would not do to tempt fate and leave an unofficial channel open for long enough to rouse suspicions."
starshiphydromatic
"Of course. But no, I do not think I have anything else for you. Thank you for your time, Starship Goldwave."
infiniteproxy
> Ah, now. That does feel good to hear aloud. It's been far too long.
"Likewise. Signing off."
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
OUAT 3X18 - Bleeding Through
If you don’t like Cora, then I’d recommend you EVA-cuate before this review begins!
...Fuck what you say! I’m proud of that one!
Anyway, the review is under the cut!
Press Release
After Zelena steals Regina’s heart, Regina casts a spell so that she can speak across the realms to her dead mother, Cora, to discover the truth about why she abandoned Zelena, and Belle stumbles across what Zelena’s ultimate end game is. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, young Cora is duped by a man claiming to be a prince and finds herself alone and pregnant. But a chance meeting with a real prince could lead Cora to the royal life she’s always craved, but she must keep her pregnancy a secret or risk losing everything.
Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness
Past
The Cora insight in this episode is so great. Like we really see how a woman with ambitions of royalty, but still a level head becomes someone so driven like the Cora who abused Regina so she’d become royalty. ”Revenge is a long-term plan.” I like how even in an episode that is more-or-less leaning towards sympathizing with Cora, there are nuggets of her darker side wedged in there. It really helps balance the story and remind the audience that yeah, this is Cora. There was always that darkness to her, even while she still had her heart.
Everything in this flashback also completely recontextualizes what happened with her and Regina and Daniel’s relationship. Like, of course a love with a commoner would leave Cora just a bit apprehensive. That’s not to excuse her for SHIT, but I do this it’s important to point out nonetheless.
Present
It’s weird that we don’t really reach the meat of this story until the halfway mark. Everything beforehand is more setup than anything and it’s unlike most every other episode in that regard. The closest comparison that I can think of is “Coming Home” which spent its last fifteen minutes as an epilogue.
I compared the Regina/Zelena/Cora conflict to the Snow/Regina/Cora conflict in the past, and I guess now’s as good of a time as any to unpack that. Just like how Snow did something that hurt Regina without meaning to at all, so did Regina to Zelena. Both Snow and Regina in their respective situations were innocents and so were Regina and Zelena victims of Cora. So, is there a point to pointing this out rather than to just say that it exists? Well, I think the latter instance shows the only good way that a complicated issue like this can be resolved: communication and understanding. Snow and Regina grasp this about each other and finally, this is where the bulk of their issues are put to bed. While Snow’s divulgence of her secret comes out, it’s going forward played for laughs in the instance of a corrupted state or as a “what if.”
But ANYWAY, that aside, the Snow/Regina dynamics sits at the heart of the present segment’s story. It’s hinted at early on and blossoms from the end of the failed seance onward. Snow’s apologies to Regina throughout the episode allows for these two women to finally confront the complicated nature of their run-ins with Cora. Cora was a bad person who in the end, got what she deserved, but the mess she left behind wasn’t deserved by those with whom she left it.
All Encompassing
THAT ALL HAVING BEEN SAID, ”She didn’t want to give up Zelena. She was forced to by my mother.” Everything Snow recounts about her possession is utter BULLSHIT and makes me think she has no comprehension skills! To put it bluntly, that aspect of the ending fucking sucks! This would be one thing if this were a few episodes ago, but she’s contradicting things that have and will be in mere minutes literally clarified. Cora DID willingly give up Zelena and all Eva had to do with it was making sure Leopold wasn’t swept up by it. THAT is why “My best chance” is the swerve of a line that it is, because it’s a mother giving up her child to die in the woods with absolutely no remorse! Because of all that, the moment where Snow “exposits” about the present ends up as the weirdest story hole that paints everyone involved in such an unnecessarily weird light. This is either the result of the writers not communicating with each other about the framing or the framing being flat-out wrong. Like, they’re trying to make this a more complicated issue, but are going in the reverse order of things! How did they fuck this moment up so badly?! If they wanted to do that, Eva should’ve been shown in the episode to be a lot more malicious than she was instead of exposing a liar. The actions should’ve been worse, but I’m more on Eva’s side than Cora’s. OR FUCK! LEOPOLD has a giant ass hatedom and he was the one who proposed to someone he was roughly four times older than! Make HIM the baddie! Have him outright reject her for the pregnancy and kick her out, no lie attached. That way, you get to keep the message the same, but give that assholery to someone who deserves it. Just...this element that makes up the moral center of the story is utter GARBAGE here, and it’s so sad given how well set up everything else was. Eva’s move was only douchey if you remove the fact that Cora was keeping such a big secret!
Insights - Stream of Consciousness
-”Red apples are so sickly sweet. Don’t you agree?”That must be an Enchanted Forest thing, because not in our realm, or at least not compared to Granny Smiths!
-Okay, Zelena’s plan to get Regina’s heart was sinister and ingenious as fuck!
-The way Roland just drops the firewood in his hands upon seeing Rumple is so fucking adorable! #bestcharacter
-Aww! Regina’s first thought when she loses her heart is to ask if anyone was hurt!! <3
-I love the background music in the flashback’s first scene. It’s so bouncy and peppy and just makes me smile!
-Jonathan’s such a sneaky asshole-ish fuck. He has his seduction of Cora down to a freakin’ science!
-”I’ll turn this ring into gold.” Bitch, she’ll do it herself!
-”Can you please tell your mother that we’re not naming your brother Leopold?” Yes! Please don’t!
-”Eva might not work for a boy.” Edwin?
-The Dark Vortex is hands down the silliest thing this show has ever done and I kind of love it.
-”Oh don’t be jealous.” ...This line was said from Zelena to one of her monkeys. Do her monkeys have crushes on her?
-I like the explanation for why they don’t use the seance more. I am curious though, do you think people who have moved on can be communicated with? Like, if Neal were killed with an actual weapon and Zelena were present for it, would he have been able to be summoned?
-FUCK YOU, JONATHAN!
-”Good luck finding me.” Why? You’re a gardener. You’re pretty easy to find. ...Okay, so you’re just gonna run away from your job? ...You are such a loser.
-Hey! Pre-scummy Leopold! Decent to see you!
-Jeez. Hearing Emma talk about how powerful her magic is hurts! Damnit!
-”I’m not in the mood for a heart-to-heart.” “I’m not sure that’s physically possible right now.” XD That’s an underrated joke and Regina’s chuckle was well earned!
-”You can help with the teacups.” Why is it that teacups are this show’s equivalent of being soft and cute?!
-I love how you can see how freakin’ amazed young Leopold is when Cora takes his knife to make the fire.
-The way Emma says “Boom!” is sooooo cute! She’s so excited and I want that as my fucking text tone! <3
-...I love how Belle for once gets to interrupt someone at Granny’s. This is ending up as the best Belle episode ever and she’s not even the main!
-”You should have a woman dress you more often.” I can’t say that I disagree.
-”Why a heart? Why courage? Why a brain?” Do you think Zelena knows that there’s not only a book series, but a classic movie based around these things?!
-”My son is not lost. He’s dead.” Don’t remind me!
-Haunted house! Why are there so many Halloween episodes that have fuck all to do with Halloween?!
-I love how the possession blends into the next flashback scene! That was COOL storytelling!
-...I know Rumple’s playing her, but damnit, the dude’s dashing as fuck. If I were Zelena, I’d have fallen for him too.
-Damn! Zelena’s touch starved! Have a listen to those gasps!
-”And he said I have a tough placenta, which somehow came out creepy.” Yup, that’s Whale for you.
Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?
The Wicked Witch - So we now have Zelena’s plan and I while I stand by what I said in my “It’s Not Easy Being Green” review in saying that it’s kind of pointless going back in time when Cora only wants a child that will grow up to be royalty, the process of how she time travels is nonetheless a good one and Zelena’s the kind of character who is both cocky and talented enough to make it happen.
Regina’s Redemption - We get so much of Regina’s Redemption in this episode and once again, it’s all just spectacular! “If she wants to kill you, she’s gonna have to go through me.” Like, Regina’s not only defending someone who she used to HATE, BUT is freely standing up to her mother. That’s so impressive!
Killian’s Redemption - I think it’s a big show of how much Killian has grown as a character that while not romantically pursuing Emma, he’s still doing everything he can to help the cause while he comes up with another plan. He’s definitely in a complicated spot here and not telling Emma is definitely a mistake, but for his current situation, he’s doing what he can to ensure everyone’s safety.
Rumple’s Redemption - Rumple made a really impressive stride here. Just as much as Rumple mourns for Bae’s loss, he wants to honor the sacrifice he made and thus refuses to resurrect him at the cost of invalidating that sacrifice. Look, Rumple has a tendency to put his needs above others, but with Bae, he will never do that again.
Favorite Dynamic
Belle and Regina. Let’s talk about that apology scene and how good it is. I like how at the start of it, Regina does what she did with the Lost Boys and points how how them working together could benefit them both, but upon seeing that that won’t work (Or that it will, but Belle deserves better), she gives a real apology. And I like how Belle, while working with her, doesn’t necessarily accept it. It’s also a good moment in that it gives Belle a voice as she gets to react to things and get angry, and as Belle isn’t often granted that by the writing staff, I think it’s something that makes those moments stick out more.
Writer
Jane Espenson and Daniel Thomsen finish out their work for the season here, and they were doing such a good job...but then they fucked it up! Like, the mistake was easy to fix. Either make Eva do something FAR more villainous than convince Leo to test Cora or axe the “my mom was evil too” angle. But by not going all in on one or the other, you lose the center of your story, and that’s exactly what happened here.
Rating
8/10. Not gonna lie. That 8 comes solely from the ending resolution on Eva and Cora. That lack of understanding of what your own narrative was saying is so shocking and appalling to me that I had to take off more than just one point for it. The rest of the story -- both of them -- are so good. How did they not stick the landing? I feel like they were trying so hard to make Cora more complicated that they neglected Eva in the process.
Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”
Captain Swan - This is such a weird moment to love as a CS fan, but I still do. Emma’s finally opening up herself more to Killian and Killian can’t do the same, but Emma’s still trying and she’s trying fairly hard! Also, I want to know how that conversation would’ve gone had Belle not stepped in! Would Emma have gotten the truth out of Killian? Would there have been cuddles? It’s anyone’s guess!
Golden Heart - Just gonna point out that when Cora finally showed up, it was in by a spinning wheel of all things!
Outlaw Queen - I like the present buildup to Robin and Regina getting together. Regina’s softness and understanding of them being soulmates on top of their chemistry really helped the expedition of their romance work. Robin’s subdued presence alongside Regina and Snow’s conversation about her resilient heart really helped their kiss come together.
-----
Hey guys!! Thank you all for reading and to those fine and fabulous folks at @watchingfairytales for birthing this project! Also tagging the marvelous @daensarah by request! Love you all and I’ll see you all next time!
Season 3 Total (169/220)
Writer’s Scores:
Adam and Eddy (39/60)
Kalinda Vazquez (26/40)
Andrew Chambliss (34/50)
Jane Espenson (28/30)*
David Goodman (29/40)
Robert Hull (30/40)
Christine Boylan (20/20)*
Daniel Thomsen (28/30)*
* Indicates that their work for the season is complete
Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
ECW CyberSlam 1996
Date: February 17, 1996
Location: ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Attendance: 1,300.
Commentary: Joey Styles.
Results:
1. The Bad Crew (Dog and Rose) and Judge Dredd defeated The Dirt Bike Kid, Dino Sendoff, and Don E. Allen.
2. Spiros Greco defeated El Puerto Riqueno.
3. Taz (with Bill Alfonso) defeated Joel Hartgood.
4. Buh Buh Ray Dudley (with Big Dick Dudley, Dances with Dudley, and Sign Guy Dudley) defeated Mr. Hughes.
5. The Bruise Brothers (Don and Ron) defeated The Headhunters (Headhunter A and Headhunter B).
6. J.T. Smith defeated Axl Rotten.
7. Dog Collar Match: Francine and The Pitbulls (Pitbull #1 and Pitbull #2) defeated Stevie Richards and The Eliminators (Saturn and Kronus).
8. ECW World Television Championship Match: 2 Cold Scorpio (champion) fought Sabu to a time limit draw.
9. Shane Douglas defeated Cactus Jack.
10. ECW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Raven (champion) (with Kimona Wanalaya, Stevie Richards, and The Blue Meanie) defeated The Sandman.
Analysis
The 1996 edition of CyberSlam is all over the place in terms of quality so, as a result, my feelings on it are all over the place as well. There’s no doubt ECW is hitting its stride at this point. They’ve firmly established themselves as the alternative to the then PG WWF and WCW, and taking as many shots at both whenever the opportunity arises. They’ve also solidified a devoted, passionate fanbase. I don’t think the ECW crowds have aged particularly well, mind you. For every moment when their participation helps the show, there’s a bunch of other moments when they’re kinda obnoxious and give off a certain brand of testosterone-fueled white male rage that later became one of the worst byproducts of the WWF’s Attitude Era.
The first hour of the show is mostly unwatchable garbage. In a way, you can see in the first hour the chaotic, car-crash booking that the Attitude Era would later make mainstream, with its short matches and constant interruptions. I really do appreciate ECW’s complete aversion to the structure that’d grown stale in both the WWF and WCW. The only problem, however, is that it’s not well-done for what it’s trying to achieve. It’s just a mess, and not in a fun way. There is some interest in watching Taz in the early stages of his push, but you could fast-forward through most of the hour and be fine. And I don’t recommend the fast-forward button often.
So it’s funny that for as dreadful as it can be, the first hour also features the show’s best and most memorable moment: the surprise debut of Brian Pillman. Few wrestlers have seemed as legitimately unhinged and dangerous as Pillman. His promo here is filled with all the usual Bischoff-bashing that everyone in ECW did at some point, but there’s more believability when he does it. When he threatens the audience that he’ll yank out his dick and piss in the ring, I totally believe it. I am wholly convinced that is something Pillman would do in real life (and if some shoot interviews are to be believed, he totally did). The whole bit with him attacking the fan, who is obviously a plant, is at once a bit too over-the-top but, again. It wouldn’t surprise me if the real Pillman got in trouble for the same thing. This is also one of those moments where the ECW crowd helps more than it hinders, because you can tell they’re completely buying into it too.
The show finds its groove in the second hour. The 2 Cold Scorpio/Sabu match is considered an ECW classic. At the risk of sounding incredibly weird, something about the match reminds me of when I’d hold matches with my wrestling figures as a kid, in which I’d have the figures pull out all these ridiculous maneuvers without any consideration of building a story. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing because much like those matches I’d hold as a kid, it’s a lot of fun, even if the time limit draw is kinda deflating. We’re also given a glimpse at Cactus Jack, whose anti-hardcore heel persona remains a high point for ECW. Foley, at his peak, is unrivaled when it comes to character work. He shows up here for his match with Shane Douglas wearing a cheap suit, but it’s amazing how he can wring out pathos from the most gimmicky of ideas. It’s a skill that comes in handy when he jumps skip to the WWF a month later to portray his most famous persona, Mankind.
So, yes, it’s hard to sum up my overall feelings on a show this erratic, but that’s pretty much ECW in a nutshell. The promotion had to make do with what they had which could result in a product that ran the gamut from piss poor to fun and, at times, brilliant. Fortunately, in their peak years, they hit the latter quite often.
My Random Notes
A man can be seen in the front row wearing a Confederate flag shirt. Wonder if he regrets that now. Probably not.
The Dirt Bike Kid totally sounds like a gimmick the WWF would’ve done around the same time period.
Tons of WCW and WWF bashing here, which is expected. But I can’t help but notice the irony in how many ECW guys later jumped ship to those promotions anyway, mainly because Paul Heyman most likely paid them like shit.
There is some red substance on the floor at some point and I’m not sure if it’s from JT Smith throwing a pizza or not but, either way, it bothers me.
One little detail I love is the ECW fans bringing their own props to the show for the wrestlers to use. Huge fan of that kind of audience participation.
I dig the spot where JT Smith plays possum by making it look as if he botched a move off the top-rope. Totally playing into the ECW crowd’s typical “You fucked up” chants and turning them on its head.
The opener may feature some of the most obscure wrestlers that I’ve ever covered on this blog. Any Dino Sendoff fans willing to give me more details on his storied career?
I’ve been trying to determine who the planted fan in the Pillman segment looks like and the closest I can think of at the moment is either Disney’s Pepper Ann or Boomer from the Burger King Kid’s Club, neither whom aren’t even that close in resemblance.
Raven and The Sandman botch a move so badly toward the end of their match that I literally laughed out loud. I guess even in its prime, there were moments where ECW could still feel like your garden variety shit indy.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Nitromare: Underneath the Barrel
Another week, another episode of Nitro from the Vince Russo era. This Monday is November 1, 1999, and we’re live from the Target Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I went out to Minneapolis to see a wrestling show last year, and had a fine time. I don’t know if I’ll have as much fun watching this Nitro.
We open up with Bret Hart upbraiding Hall and Nash for interfering in his match last week. They don’t know why he’s upset, since they interfered on his behalf. “Screw you, Scott!” Bret yells.
Bret walks out to the crowd, on crutches, and tells people he thinks Bill Goldberg is the rightful U.S. champion. Sid Vicious, hair product spilling down the back of his leather vest in thick rivulets, comes out and beats on Hart. Hall and Nash come out to mock the injured Canadian hero.
We’re still in the midst of this nonsensical tournament to crown a new WCW world heavyweight champion. The brackets make me realize I’ve been misspelling Lash LeRoux’s name wrong for two straight installments of Nitromare. It’s in the spirit of Crash TV, bro!
One thing I appreciate is that the WWE Network has left in the commercials that are wrestling-themed, so there are some Randy Savage Slim Jims ads, and a lot of ads for WCW toys. It’s amazing how little ads for wrestling toys have changed since then. The medium is ripe for reinvention.
Some recap, some backstage nonsense, and we’re onto our first match: Vampiro vs. Berlyn, in a battle to see who is the top mall goth in all of WCW. It’s a pretty decent match, and then ... Oh God, it’s the Michael Graves-era Misfits running out of the back for some reason. “Vampiro is a musician as well,” Tony notes. I’ll say this: the Michael Graves albums aren’t as bad as people claim. Some decent songs on those, but people were just going to shit on anything that wasn’t Danzig, casually overlooking that “Earth A.D.” was terrible.
Ah, let’s see: ref bump, the Misfits take out Berlyn’s bodyguard, The Wall, with a chair shot, and then help Vampiro get the cheating win over Berlyn. The Wall has miraculously recovered from being knocked unconscious 15 seconds ago, and gives the microphone to Berlyn. “From now on, screw USA!” he says.
Backstage, Hall is reading a newspaper. Ah, the 1990s! He and Nash mumble semi-audibly to each other. In another part of backstage, the Revolution have locked a leather-clad Torrie Wilson in a cage. “She’s the property now of the Revolution,” Brain informs us.
The Revolution come out to the ring. Perry Saturn is wearing an outfit entirely composed of denim except for his leather Kangol. “You say you want a revolution?” Shane Douglas asks. No one said that, Shane. They let Perry talk for a while, which is a bold choice. Perry demands a key on top of a pole match, the key being the one to let Torrie Wilson out of her cage. Is this the first item on a pole match of the Russo era? I believe it is.
Dean Malenko takes the mic to call out Chris Benoit. “You’ve been nothing but a puss, old buddy,” he says. DANGEROUSLY EDGY.
Benoit comes out. All these guys are in street clothes, which hilariously means polo shirts tucked into jeans. They look like a bunch of office guys getting ready to cut loose with a game of touch football at the company picnic. Chris Benoit announces he will wrestle Dean Malenko in a cage, which for some reason causes Malenko to have some kind of psychotic break.
Backstage, the Filthy Animals are coming into the building, and a security stops them, demanding to see backstage passes. This makes a huge amount of sense. The Filthy Animals beat the security guy up, because they can’t be contained by your rules. Meanwhile, Mike Tenay is interviewing Kimberly Page, who is flanked by all the Nitro Girls. How many Nitro Girls can you name without looking it up? Was one of them named Sapphire? That’s about as much as I can muster. Kim tells the Nitro Girls she’s leaving the group. I never really thought of her as a Nitro Girl tbh.
Ernest “The Cat” Miller comes to the ring, and the fake music the WWE Network inserts over his entrance song is unbelievably bad. Seriously, go and watch this. It’s incredible. It sounds like a Casio keyboard has been sunk in a vat of pickle brine before being struck by hammer-wielding orangutans.
He’s wrestling Lash LeRoux. “Big future ahead for this guy,” Brain says. “I can see it. He’s going to explode.” He’s now a Christian cartoonist and illustrator, so maybe? This match lasts maybe two minutes. The Cat’s knee gives out and LeRoux picks up the win.
Backstage, Hart is raging about Nash and Hall. “These guys aren’t the bottom of the barrel, they’re underneath the barrel!” he fumes. Meanwhile, dissension in the Nitro Girls as they try to decide who will be the new leader. Elsewhere, the Filthy Animals are secretly videotaping Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth. Eddie Guerrero is wearing a fetching Cosby sweater. The camera keeps rolling after they stop acting and then they show an actual behind-the-scenes TNT director. Everyone is cracking up. LIVE TV, BRO! Maybe that was deliberate? Maybe Vince Russo was out to destroy the fourth wall once and for all?
Now we cut to a remote segment with a shockingly subdued, normal Scott Steiner talking about a back injury to Larry Zbyszko. This is a totally different Steiner. No shouting, no babbling, just a guy talking like a football player about the specifics of an injury and surgery. Larry is wearing a colored denim shirt with the Nitro logo on the breast pocket. At last, a garment fine enough for me to be wed in. Was this an attempt to do a “shoot interview”? Russo pulling back the curtain - this ain’t Scott Steiner the character, this is Scott Steiner THE HUMAN BEING!
Now we’re back in the ring, and the Nitro Girls are dancing. I would like to read an oral history of this dance troupe. Get on that, Bixenspan. The dancing ends with some pushing and shoving, but before that can go anywhere, we’re backstage again, with Tenay interviewing Buff Bagwell. The Buff Daddy complains about “the writers” holding him back.
A series of vignettes show us Kevin Nash doing a Vince McMahon impression. What am I doing with my life?
Back to the Nitro Girls. More pushing and shoving backstage. Trying to turn them into workers was such a characteristically Russovian decision. And, like most of his ideas, it was terrible and obviously doomed to fail.
A crowd sign: “BUFF IS THE REAL PEOPLE [sic] CHAMPION”
Stevie Ray comes out and announces that “the powers that be” have determined there will be a strap match. “Who said that? The two writers in the back?” Buff yells. Yes, Buff. So now we have a strap match. It’s not a good strap match, and the two suited goons who work for THE DAMN WRITERS IN THE BACK run out because Buff starts to win. Why do Russo and Ferrara hate Buff so much?
We switch from the ring as the ring announcer is talking to Tenay interviewing Jeff Jarrett. “Don’t get slappy with me, Tenay!” he says. He drops some more insider terminology, because Vince Russo thought that was what normal people wanted.
Kevin Nash comes out, a vision of horror in putty makeup, as Vince McMahon. “The fans out here, they don’t even know who he is,” Tony says. Which explains why they’re silently watching this terrible skit. Less than three years after this, Nash would be working for Vince McMahon once again, and losing to Chris Jericho in a hair vs. hair match. Life comes at you fast, Kevin.
“I put anyone out of business until I was the only show in town,” Nash as Vince says, eerily predicting what will happen in less than 18 months. The crowd is restless and bored. He uses some insider lingo, as was the style at the time. Nash-Vince introduces Scott Hall as “the Trouser Snake.”
“He’s clean and sober!” Nash-Vince proclaims. This is grim. Fifteen years before this, a young “Magnum” Scott Hall was starting off in this very city, in the dying days of the once-great American Wrestling Association. How far we had all come.
Hall launches some more insider lingo and does a crotch chop aimed at “the boys in New York.” Seconds and minutes of my life, rushing by, never to be held again.
Backstage shit. Lex, Liz, Meng, Perfect. Ah, Perfect. The last great star of the Minneapolis-based AWA, a native of nearby Robbinsdale. What did Verne make of all this? I mean, Verne probably would have tried to put a 59-year-old Baron Von Raschke over Bret Hart, but I digress.
Hennig gets a good pop when he comes out. Brain points out Hennig’s father, the great AWA star Larry Hennig, at ringside. The ghosts of the 1970s are all around us. This is a match against Disco Inferno. This will not be up to the standard of one of Hennig’s matches in the previous decade with Nick Bockwinkel.
The crowd absolutely fucking loses it for Larry Hennig, chanting “LARE-EE! LARE-EE!” as he punches Disco Inferno. Ah, that does my heart good.
Of course, this has to be interrupted by the random appearance of some goober walking down the ramp from backstage. Disco Inferno runs out to talk to him, and they walk down the ramp to the back. The bell rings, and Hennig wins by contour. Larry claps at ringside while looking like he’s seen someone shoot a family pet.
Some backstage garbage. We come back to the ring for a “hardcore three-way dance.” The Barbarian w/Jimmy Hart, Meng, and ... Norman Smiley dressed as a baseball catcher. Two of the all-time legit tough guys and a star from the old British wrestling, in this goofy-ass plunder battle. This should have been a stiff, nasty classic. Instead it’s a slow, sloppy farce.
Crowd sign, evidently made by a lunatic: “PUSH DAVID FLAIR.”
In the ring, Meng and the Barbarian are chopping the shit out of Norman Smiley. THIS IS MORE LIKE IT. Smiley’s shoulder is sliced open, probably on one of those fake trash cans. He’s stretchered away from the ring for some reason. He jumps off the stretcher when he sees that Meng and the Barbarian have knocked each other out, and covers the Barbarian for the win.
Backstage, Jim Duggan is begging an unseen Vince Russo for his job. “I’ve been wrestling for 20 years, and I think I have more fan support than some of these guys out here doing the dropkicks.” Fancy, fancy dropkicks!
Russo, off-camera, sneers, “It’s all about ratings. Next!” He managed to keep his voice off TV for two whole weeks. As we know, the amount of Vince Russo time would only grow.
Jarrett comes out and demands to see Luger. Jarrett is mad that Luger accused him of beating up Miss Elizabeth two weeks ago. “This is not the WWF. We don’t abuse women here!” Luger comes out and apologizes for accusing Jeff Jarrett of hitting Miss Elizabeth with a guitar. This is exactly like “War and Peace.” But it’s all a ruse! Luger goads Jarrett into insulting Meng, who runs out. Jarrett flees, wisely.
Miss Elizabeth and Luger join Meng. Elizabeth thanks Meng, and then ... maces him. Luger pulls out a crowbar and beats on Meng. None of this makes sense. None of it has to. We are deep within the heart of the Nitromare.
Backstage nonsense. The Filthy Animals, who Mark accurately describes as “The Go-Bots version of DX,” come out for a good ol’ fashioned object on a pole match. The object here is a key that will free Torrie Wilson from a cage. If Eddie Guerrero wins, he will reunite Torrie with her crew. Perry Saturn implies that if he wins, he will have sex with Torrie, presumably against her will. Whenever someone talks about how great wrestling was in the late 1990s, I will remember this.
Perry Saturn is driving a forklift with the Torrie cage on it. I’m not sure he’s a licensed forklift operator. Also, I’m pretty sure the Target Center is a union shop. Could be a strike in the works here.
Tony: “It’s been a wild night.” Brain: “It’s getting better every Monday!” Only Tony is truthful.
Eddie vs. Saturn should be a good match, but of course it’s not. After about two minutes, there’s interference from Shane Douglas, and most of the action in the match revolves around attempts to get the key off the pole. This is the problem with object on a pole matches.
Sign in the crowd: “CONAN [sic] IS THE TACO BELL DOG.” This is a racist reference that may be lost on younger people reading this today.
Eddie gets the key while Torrie chokes Saturn. The Filthy Animals were, theoretically, a pretty good faction. It’s kind of a fun mixture of personalities, and their all-for-one mentality really helped them stand out. They were let down by the fact that Vince Russo was in charge.
More backstage shit, and then we’re back in the ring for a Filthy Animals match. I mean, we just had all the Filthy Animals out for the previous match, but here they are again. No way the crowd could possibly become bored by 25 minutes of the same people, right?
Kidman and Konnan, the tag team champs, are going to be wrestling Sting and Luger. We’ve also seen a lot of Luger tonight. This is WCW, but they’re running the show like one of those super local indies where everyone has to wrestle twice on the same show.
Some people in the crowd have Juggalo face paint, the second week in a row I’ve noticed this. Did the Misfits ever wrestle the Insane Clown Posse on a WCW show? If not, why not?
This match sucks, but Sting is still insanely popular. The crowd goes berserk at every Stinger splash. The match ends after three or four minutes via DQ, when Rey and Eddie jump Sting. The Filthy Animals were the babyfaces in the previous match, and they’re the heels here. Welcome to Vince Russo’s World of Moral Ambiguity and Veiled Rape References.
Sting is mad because Lex didn’t help against the Filthy Animals. Sting and Luger have quite the rocky friendship. Backstage, Sting knocks over an (empty) barrel of Surge, the none-more-Nineties soft drink.
We come to the ring, where Booker T is walking out. He’s jumped on the ramp by Jeff Jarrett. This is a fun, Southern-style match, or more like a hyper fast, caffeinated version of a Southern match. Naturally, it gets interrupted by the two besuited goons working on behalf of Russo and Ferrara, and Jarrett wins. Has there been a clean pin once tonight?
A remote piece from the set of “Slam,” which would later be renamed “Ready to Rumble,” the godawful David Arquette wrestling movie. Tenay interviews Goldberg. Goldberg sure doesn’t like the Outsiders and Sid!
A bunch of backstage garbage. Madusa, another AWA favorite, gets a nice reception from the crowd. She’s going to wrestle Evan Karagias. This is pretty much what people who don’t like intergender wrestling are thinking of when they talk about intergender wrestling. Madusa keeps trying to seduce Karagias rather than wrestle him. Madusa pins him and then makes out with him. Everything is awful.
Benoit and Malenko are wrestling in a cage. This should be a brutal classic by two of the best technical wrestlers of all time. “I can’t wait ‘til this match is over,” Brain says. I feel the same way about this episode, and this entire insane project.
The match is not a brutal classic. It’s over in 4:29. A few decent spots, but more like a highlight reel than anything. Perry Saturn runs out to try and help Malenko. It doesn’t work. Benoit wins with a diving headbutt off the top of the cage, which is insane. The Revolution gets into the cage and they beat up Benoit. The Filthy Animals have turned into babyfaces again, and they run into the cage to help Benoit. The crowd doesn’t know what to do, so they do nothing. David Flair, the least electrifying man in sports entertainment, shows up with a crowbar to attack the Filthy Animals. Now Sting comes out to attack the Filthy Animals. With any luck, we’ll get Meng out here to attack the Filthy Animals.
Instead, we cut to the parking garage. David Flair is trying to sneak away, but gets run down by someone driving a car. It’s Kim Page. This show is terrible.
Backstage: someone has beaten up Nash-Vince. Good.
Now the main event: Sid vs. Scott Hall. Why am I doing this to myself? How much longer am I going to be able to do this?
The match is bad. It lasts 4:53. For a second I have the horrifying fear that this is the match where Sid broke his leg, but then I look it up and see that it happened during the Sin PPV in January 2001.
There’s a ref bump. Second of the night. A referee was also attacked by Shane Douglas after the key on a pole match. Bret Hart comes out on his crutches. Hits Sid. Swings and misses with Hall. Hall gets the pin on Sid. Who cares about any of this? What is even happening in this show?
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Into the Unknown Part 3 Chapter 3
Into the Unknown
Fandom: Undertale, Coraline (book), Over the Garden Wall, Paranorman, Gravity Falls (season 2)
Characters: Frisk, Norman B., Dipper P., Mabel P., Coraline J., Wirt, Greg, the Cat, the Frog; Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne, Alphys, Asgore,; the Other Mother, the Beast, Agatha P., Bill Cipher, Asriel D., Chara D.,
Pairings: Not the focus. Alphys/Undyne, with mentions of Papyrus/Mettaton, sans/Toriel/Asgore, and Wirt/Sara. Due to the nature of Undertale and the dating segments, there is also interpretable Papyrus/Wirt, Undyne/Mabel, Alphys/Dipper, Napstablook/Norman, Mettaton/Norman, Mettaton/Mabel, Sans/Dipper, Sans/Norman, and Sans/Greg.
Rated a high +K for violence, mild language, horrific elements that may be disturbing to younger readers, mentions of child abuse and bullying, character death that is sometimes permanent, and mentions of suicide that may be triggering. These elements remain relatively unchanged from their source material, which most all are for children, but discretion is advised nonetheless.
Disclaimer: Undertale was created and owned by Toby Fox. Coraline was created by Neil Gaiman and owned by Bloomsbury and Laika. Over the Garden Wall was created by Patrick McHale and owned by Cartoon Network. Paranorman was created by Sam Fell and Chris Butler and owned by Laika. Gravity Falls was created by Alex Hirsch and owned by Disney. Any other work mentioned or homage are property of their respective owners. This is a fan-made, nonprofit work that only seeks to entertain. Please support the original franchises.
Start from beginning / Previous chapter / Next chapter
Chapter 3
Undyne was right behind him.
Norman ran along the piers in the Waterfall. Energy spears shot up from the ground, never quite hitting him but always getting closer than he wanted them to be. The floor was splitting below him.
He reached a dead end. Undyne’s footsteps, loud metal clacking on wood, slowed. She knew it was a dead end too.
He turned and saw her take one more step, right where her spears had splintered the wood already. There was a sickening cracking noise as the bridge collapsed. He fell.
“It sounded like it came from over here…Oh! You’ve fallen down, haven’t you? Are you okay? Here, get up…Chara, huh? That’s a nice name. My name is—”
He was awake before he could hear the last part of that.
It took Norman a minute to regain his bearings. He had landed on a patch of golden flowers, the same kind that were in the Ruins. Above head, he could make out just the faintest rays of the sun. He was still in the Underground.
What was that? It was too vivid to be a dream, he realized, and he did not think he had fallen asleep anyway. It was more like a vision. He did not recall having visions, but for some reason, the idea felt right in his head. If he could see ghosts, anything was possible, he supposed.
There was no point of worrying about it now. If it was a vision, it had not told him enough to make sense of it. Norman picked himself up and continued forward.
There was no better way to describe the things that emerged from the ground: they were zombies. They looked as ever bit grotesque as the art in Norman’s room depicted them; pale green skin that should have rotted, skeletal limbs and organs that should be spilling out.
The FIGHT began.
The Cat ran in-between Frisk and the zombies, hair sticking on ends and a hiss in his throat. He stood ready to pounce at the first sign of conflict. Without thinking about it, Frisk ran a CHECK on the closest one.
????? 80 ATK 80 DEF
He’s been asleep for a long time. It’s not his fault.
The zombie lurched forward, but did not otherwise attack. He would not attack them straight out, Frisk realized. So they decided to ACT.
*CHECK *TALK
*CONSOLE *CRITISIZE
*STEAL WIG
Hi! I’m F-R-I-S-K! They signed quickly, ending with a little wave.
The zombies gave her a confused look. Maybe they didn’t understand signing. Frisk reached for their notebook and wrote it down during the zombie’s turn.
The zombie with the wig leaned into it, old eyes struggling to read it. He reached for the notebook and pen.
JUDGE HOPKINS 80 ATK 80 DEF
He’s been asleep for a long time. He did what he had to do.
The place Norman had landed in was a Dump. Most of the garbage had been kept in bins and bags, but quite a bit was flowing through the pond freely. Norman could make out some things that were clearly monster-made, like gloves for six-fingered folk and a jar of construction paper labelled “Temmy Flaeks.” Most of it, however, looked like it came from above; coolers, desktop computers with empty contents, DVD cases with desperate claw marks covering the surface.
Norman was so absorbed in looking for the human-made things that he hardly noticed when the Training Dummy jumped in front of him.
“HAHAHAHA…Too intimidated to fight me, huh!?” said the Dummy. “I am a ghost that lives inside a DUMMY. My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too. Until…YOU CAME ALONG!”
He barely remembered the Dummy, all the way back in the Ruins. Toriel had just told him to talk to it. It did not even answer back.
“What did I do?” Norman asked.
“When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat,” Said the Dummy. “But the things you SAID…! Horrible. Shocking! UNBELIEVABLE!”
Norman may not have remembered the Dummy very well, but he knew that all he did was ask him how the weather was before Toriel said that was good enough.
“It spooked them right out of their dummy! HUMAN! I’ll scare your Soul out of your body!”
Mad Dummy blocks the way.
“Listen, I didn’t mean—“ Norman started.
He stopped as a series of dummy-shaped bullets were fired his way. He jumped out of the way. He jumped back as they spun around like boomerangs and rushed back to him.
“OWWWW, you DUMMIES!! Watch where you’re aiming you MAGIC attacks!” the dummy cried. “Wait…forget I said that!”
Another set of bullets fired towards him, but Norman easily dodged them and watched them fire back at the Mad Dummy.
“HEY GUYS!” The Mad Dummy shouted as he summoned his next round of bullets. “Dummies. Dummies! DUMMIES! YOU’RE FIRED! YOU’RE ALL BEING REPLACED!!!”
The dummy bullets faded out of existence with sheepish expressions,
“Now you’ll see my real power,” said the Mad Dummy. “Relying on people that aren’t garbage!”
Mechanical whirs filled the room. Norman tried to talk him down again. He didn’t seem much for conversation. Nobody was happy with this.
The next set of bullets appeared, bulkier and boxier than the others. Norman jumped out of the way like the others, only to turn around and find they were still chasing him down. He ran forward, coming face to nuzzle with the Mad Dummy as they lost course and plowed into it.
“DUMMY BOTS! You’re awful???” the Mad Dummy cried.
More missiles were launched towards Norman, and he found himself running in circles. A few more hit the Mad Dummy.
“Who cares. Who cares! WHO CARES!!! I DON’T NEED FRIENDS!”
The dummy bots vanished, and were replaced with a single large bullet.
“I GOT KNIVES!!!”
The knife landed by Norman’s feet.
“I’m…out of knives.”
More bullets filled the field, but not the ones the Mad Dummy used. Most of them faded out before they got close to Norman, instead landing on the Mad Dummy and sizzling.
“Wh-what the heck is this? Acid rain?” said the Mad Dummy. “Oh FORGET IT! I’m outta here!”
The Mad Dummy slipped past Norman and back out into the fields of worthless garbage.
“…sorry, I interrupted you, didn’t I? as soon as I came over, your friend immediately left…oh no, it looked like you guys were having fun…oh no………………………………………………………………………………..”
There was a storm brewing in Blithe’s Hollow. As soon as the sun set and the dead rose, there was a chill in the air. Storm clouds hung in the air, crackling with thunder. Frisk could just make out the shapes that formed as they swirled. But it was not just a storm; that much was obvious. There was a type of pressure on their Soul, the same they usually felt as a Fight started. Something else was going on.
After a long back and forth conversation between two people that could not talk and two games of tic-tac-toe, Frisk understood better. The witch was not buried with the judges. They would have to find her grave, and start from there. Judge Hopkins was the only one, possibly ever, who knew where she was buried, so he led the way.
The town was deathly still. What was once packed with ghosts and people now only held a few cars and bystanders. The only sign that there was still life were the neon signs and traffic lights.
For some reason, that scared the zombies the most.
I know, gas prices have gone too high, Frisk wrote down in the notebook, because it seemed like a smart thing to say.
Jude Hopkins snatched the notebook from them and began writing furiously. He had filled nearly a page when they first heard the screams.
“well…I’m gonna go head home now…” said Napstablook. “oh…feel free to ‘come with’ if you want…but no pressure…”
“I don’t want to impose,” said Norman.
“neither do I…” said Napstablook.
They didn’t seem much for conversation. Nobody was happy with this.
“I live up just this way, in case you want to join me…” said Napstablook. “or, in case, you don’t…”
The neighborhood that sat just above the dump was small. There were only a handful of houses but they were all uniquely shaped. No one house looked the same, and no one house looked like a real house. Even Napstablook’s house was built into its neighbors, forming a perfectly symmetrical image.
The interior was much more what Norman would have expected. There were no chairs, but he remembered how his grandmother liked to phase in and out of furniture and figured most ghosts didn’t invest in things they could not touch. Yet there was a desk with a working computer, a small TV, even a refrigerator. And on the other side of the house were piles and piles of CDs.
“uh…do you wanna…listen to some tunes, or something…?” Napstablook asked.
1 note
·
View note
Text
best-ofs, 2017
putting in a break here, this is real long
best book I read: The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood
It seems trite to pick this in a year where every Tom, Dick, and Harry was comparing the Trump administration to Atwood’s novel and when Amazon was putting on a big-budget adaptation (which, for the record, I have not seen). The effect that this had on me, though, cannot be understated. Sad, wry, and all-too-familiar in places, this is a masterpiece that deserves to be up there with 1984 and the rest of the great nightmares.
honorable mention: The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet, David Mitchell
I’m not much of a historical fiction person, but this masterfully wrought story of a Dutch clerk and a Japanese midwife in early-1800s Japan is well worth your time.
best comic: Batman, Volume 1: I Am Gotham, Tom King, Mikel Janin, et al.
King and his collaborators’ work on Batman since DC’s most recent relaunch seems to be on a trajectory to match or even surpass the Grant Morrison era in the pre-New 52 era, a reshuffling of the core cast that will pay huge dividends down the line (if DC actually makes a wise long-term decision for once, which, who knows). Despite his tendency to learn a little too hard on certain stylistic tics, I think King might be the best writer working in superhero comics today.
honorable mention: Detective Comics, Volume 1: Rise of the Batmen, James Tynion IV, Eddy Barrows, et al.
Yes, two Batman titles in one year is a bit of a cheat, but this is so fun that it’s hard to pick something else. Tynion turned up on a panel discussion on the great comics podcast Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men where he was introduced as the writer of “DC’s new X-Men title, Detective Comics”, which is exactly what this is - a team of misfits and outcasts cobbled together by a reticent, demanding mentor...who in this case is Batman. This is easy to miss out on with all the fireworks over King’s work, but give it a shot.
best comic (non-2017): MIND MGMT, Volume 2: The Futurist, Matt Kindt
Kindt’s work on the beginning of his psychic-X-Files saga MIND MGMT was good, but the second collection reveals it as a ship-in-a-bottle in the middle of a much weirder, wilder museum - there are few volume 2s that build on the success of the first as much as this one does.
honorable mention: BPRD, Volume 3: Plague of Frogs, Mike Mignola, Guy Davis, et al.
The first few collections of this series, following Hellboy’s teammates after he quits the secret BPRD organization, kind of flounder, but Davis and Mignola really hit their stride here with this sequel to an earlier Hellboy story that grows into a hybridization of Mignola’s earlier work and a Stephen King novel.
best movie: Blade Runner 2049
This also feels like kind of a cheat given my love for the original, but there was simply no other movie that had my gears turning after I walked out of the theater like this one did. The plot elements of this, of course, have been speculated on endlessly since Ridley Scott released the Final Cut of the original film, but My Guy Dennis Villeneuve manages to introduce enough new elements and uncertainty in the mix to keep you guessing - I found myself continually questioning what I really knew about anything that had happened or was happening. It was always going to be impossible to make a movie as good as Blade Runner, but Villeneuve came closer than anyone could dare.
honorable mention: Star Wars: The Last Jedi
I have my misgivings about the Finn and Poe portions of this, which feel like they mishandled the two more than a little, but the Rey/Luke Skywalker storyline is, as a whole, a barn-burner, building on both Rey and Luke’s characters in extremely satisfying ways. It was easy to imagine where they might go from Rey and Luke on the island at the end of The Force Awakens, but I don’t know if I imagined they’d go here, which is what makes this so great.
best album: I See You, The xx
I gave this a pretty casual listen on Spotify when it came out as I was kind of a marginal xx fan - I enjoyed their first album but didn’t really care for Coexist. I was totally blown away and listened to it all the way through several times (this is something I rarely, if ever, do with big pop/pop-ish releases). Virtually every track on here except for the extremely forgettable closer is perfectly performed and produced, from the playful, somewhat taunting “Dangerous” to the self-doubt-as-anthem “On Hold”. Should go down as their best album to date.
honorable mentions: Piety of Ashes, The Flashbulb / Sleep Well, Beast, The National
I couldn’t decide between these two, so here’s a twofer for you. Benn Jordan’s style as The Flashbulb has shifted along a spectrum of sweet spots between acoustic music and electronic music, and he seems to have somehow found the sweetest one yet in Piety of Ashes, which alternates between intimate material you might have expected on Arboreal or Love as a Dark Hallway (”Starlight”, “Goodbye Bastion”) and big, broad electronic pieces that feel like Jordan uncovered something he could always do that was just off-camera (”Hypothesis”, “As Water”).
When I first heard Sleep Well, Beast my comment to a coworker was “I only like some of it now, but I think I’ll like it more as time goes on”. This was a rare example of me actually showing some predictive ability, because this has really grown on me with time (maybe its intent as commentary on life in the Trump world as something to do with this). Highlights are the sad, sweet “Nobody Else Will Be There”, also-sad-and-sweet, but in a different way “Carin at the Liquor Store”, and the driving dark heart of the entire thing, “The System Only Dreams In Total Darkness”, which has been a constant play for me this fall/winter.
best TV show: Twin Peaks/Twin Peaks: The Return
A triumph for David Lynch and Mark Frost in every sense of the word. The era of “prestige TV” feels like a cheap trick by HBO, AMC, et al. to get us to watch the same old stuff with a slightly higher budget after 18 hours(!!!!!) in, around, and beyond (and I mean beyond) Lynch’s little town in the Pacific Northwest. Kyle MacLachlan deserves about 400 awards for his triple (quadruple?) role here.
honorable mention: Mr. Robot
I think Sam Esmail failed to stick the landing again (I wasn’t a fan of season 2), but the earlier parts of this season are maybe the highest highs the show has ever hit - Elliott and Mr. Robot fighting over his body in the bowels of the ECorp fortress from the end of season 2, Darlene struggling to extricate herself from the FBI, and the terrifying-yet-awe-inspiring scene of Angela laying out her plans to Mr. Robot as New York comes back to life at the end of the first episode. This isn’t always the best show, but boy, can it ever be good.
best video game: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
This is to video games as Lynch’s third season of Twin Peaks was to television: a throwing of the gauntlet to every competitor to dare and match this. Where other games would put physics puzzles in their own little sandboxes, BOTW applies its physics to just about everything and lets you see how far your tools can take you. Where other games would put everything on the map in perfectly zoomable, filterable control for you, BOTW challenges you to build the map yourself and actually get out there and explore. I’ve gone back to this in the harder Master Mode with the release of the last DLC, and there’s still nothing that can touch this. This is destined to be a touchstone for decades to come.
honorable mentions: The Talos Principle/Batman: The Telltale Series
The Talos Principle is everything I wanted The Witness to be that The Witness wasn’t: thoughtful without being heavy, clever without being impossible (well, mostly not impossible, there are a few of those puzzles I don’t think I could have cracked on my own). The writing is sharp as a tack, featuring a variety of philosophical discussions between your character and a whip-smart AI. A really excellent puzzler.
Batman: The Telltale Series marks yet another appearance of the Batman on this list, but what an appearance! Telltale throws out several sacred cows of the Batman behemoth, but instead of making something malformed and uninteresting, it feels like the freshest Batman has been in ages. I eagerly await every new episode of this, because I never know where they will go next.
best podcast: Important If True
This is yet another “feels like I cheated” entry, but the Idle Thumbs guys’ work on Important If True deserves to be recognized. They could have simply recycled the Robot News segments from Idle Thumbs for this, but instead they went for something much wilder, taking people’s advice on what wishes to ask for from a genie, going through breakdown procedures for old Chuck E. Cheese competitor restaurants, and speculating on a Jessica Fletcher vs. Jaws matchup (as in the shark). The most wildly funny podcast going now. Recommended episodes: “Fight Garbage With Garbage”, “Ghosts ‘n’ Goblins”, “A Wish Upon a Star”
honorable mention: Waypoint Radio
With the Idle Thumbs guys winding down to a monthly schedule (sorta), Vice’s Waypoint staff’s podcast has readily stepped into the hole left behind by the Thumbs for regular doses of industry coverage. It’s great to see Danielle Riendeau and Rob Zacny getting more exposure outside of the Thumbs ecosystem, and Austin Walker, Patrick Klepek, and Danika Harrod are this sort of perfect perpetual motion machine at the heart of everything. Recommended episodes: “The Orange Casket”, “R.I.P. A.I.M.”, “Someone Explain To Me The Alien Alloys Before I F'ing Explode”
1 note
·
View note
Last Seen Blogs
tea-with-mrs-mourning-dove
tea with mrs. mourning dove
mothwenchiest
my autistic ass needs a coffin
dicasdefato-blog
Dicas de Fato
sapphicjoy
Sapphic Joy
skyplanet61
S K Y P L A N E T