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dietaku · 5 years

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Amazing Quest 2: Chapter 1

The sequel to Amazing Quest. Honestly, I think this one is better.

-Controls-

Have you played an SNES-era JRPG before? Then you already know this.

-Cast-

Dood Z. Ma--

Wait, you haven't played an SNES-era JRPG before? Sigh. Okay then.

-Controls-

Control Pad – Move your characters or your cursor around, select things, etc.

A Button – Check/Speak/Confirm. You'll be using this a lot for obvious reasons.

B Button – Cancel. In battle, you can set this as a shortcut for Defend.

X Button – Open/Close Menu. In battle, you can use this to shortcut to your items menu. In the strategy guide, it lists this being used to launch things called the Push-of-War and the Dynamite Trigger. This is clearly not true, and has since become memetic in the fandom, where newcomers with questions that should be obvious are met with jeering posts of “Use the Dynamite Trigger!”

Y – Hold to dash on the overworld. In battle, this shortcuts to the Skill/Spell menu.

L/R – Rotates party members in order either back or forth.

Start – Pause the game. Also, in certain circumstances, unpauses it too.

Select – Opens the world map. Runs a 1/8126 chance of showing a pixelated green and black scene of Dood talking to some old man with a beret, who tells you to “SEEK DA TROOF”.

-Cast-

Dood Z. Male

Element: Light

Class: Pudding Warrior

Weapon: Swords. Four to be exact.

Special: Pudding Morph

Dood, as later side materials would go on to reveal, is the descendant of Hiro from AQ1, though with Pudding powers not dependent on the presence of others. Guess eugenics lost the bet on that one. Dood, like all AQ protags, can transform into the powerful Pudding Forms, but his have three-turn limiters where his MP is rapidly consumed away, however, this can be prolonged by feeding him MP restoration items. His stats are bolstered very, very high during this period, and can thus be a very potent character if built right.

Deliost Nu Toruble Element: N/A (Fire after her mid-game Time Wasp shenanigans) Class: Magic Student Weapon Type: Spoons Special Technique: Magical Assault

The quiet, reflective princess of Toruble, who is kept locked away from public viewing, due to her ever-growing chimeran traits (manifesting as kawaii cat eats and tail). She is a powerful offensive magic user, who only grows more potent as time goes on. However, she personifies the phrase “glass cannon” and has very low LP and Con scores for the duration. Also of note is her impressive figure, which I'm sure is an ancillary detail (You perverts.)

Kylie

Element: Earth (Default Form); Changes with Form

Class: Womanticore

Weapons: Variable Tail (Equippable Genes)

Special: Multi-Form

Kylie the womanticore was the result of a “DiY Womanticore Kit” project launched by the recurring miniboss fight, Balzac, who ended up escaping her captivity and mastering a life in the forest. Kylie is a “build your own” character, where she can equip up to three genes at a time, one in the “Head” slot, one in the “Body” slot, and one in the “Leg” slot. Her default form has middling stats and only a few skills it can learn on its own, but once she learns a skill from a particular gene, she will retain it forever, even if the gene is unequipped later on. Fans really like her, for... multiple reasons. Don't look! She's only 2 years old!

Genki Sake

Element: Wind

Class: Cat Thief

Weapons: Hair Clip

Special: Steal

Genki is of the kunoichi tribe (presumably of some relation to Kimyawa of AQ1, but that's just fan speculation), and strives to be the greatest cat thief of all time. In a very literal sense even, as her suit includes cat ears and a cleavage window you could lose mid-sized dogs in. Her weapons are hidden in plain sight, as she uses his hair clips as both weapons and tools of her trade to unlock doors and chests. When she's on point, she'll even automatically disable traps and she'll stop before running over trap floors. She has high attack and speed stats, but somewhat lacking in defense. And, to put the obnoxious fandom argument to rest, Sake is her family name and Genki is her given name. Now, stop fighting about it!

Chester D. Beaver

Element: Water, yup

Class: Beaver, yup

Weapons: Fish Guns, yup

Special: Spray, yup

Chester is quite an odd bucket of fish – literally and metaphorically. Being of the beaver tribe, he has a rather distinct means of punctuating most of his sentences, and as a mob boss over the beaver crime syndicates (which exist, apparently) he commands respect in such social circles. His spray attack allows him to make his normal attack target all enemies, which calculates damage akin to how all-hitting magic spell variants are done, and his bizarre fish gun series of weapons is always a joy to see in motion. He has high, all around stats, but very few skills to his name until almost at the endgame.

Deima the Immortal Element: N/A Class: Furry (Just Kidding) Weapon Type: Staves Special Technique: Magical Genocide

The eccentric and powerful chimera sorceress and eternal Pudding ally, Deima appears once more as a secret recruit you can find at around the midgame. She learns spells much faster and much earlier in the game than anyone else and has, bar none, the highest magical potency of the game and the biggest MP pools of any of the party, in particular her Hissatsu Zeikei Suki attack. Her field ability will also turn any animals you can hunt into burnt meat automatically, so, try not to use it!

Jaydea Varas Schoen Element: Dark Class: Pudding Noble Weapon Type: “Heaven's Blades” Guitars Special Technique: Regal Pudding Form

The Penultimate boss of AQ1 returns thanks to her gift of eternal life bestowed on her by the Goddess of Destruction. She retains her insane Pudding form, the Figgy Pudding Queen, and her love of Rock n' Roll. If you go out of your way near the tail end of the game and get her her fez and a Black Cow, you can have her join you, doubling your effective Pudding-related firepower. She has a stat build not unlike Dood's, but a heavier emphasis on defense, presumably reflective of her immortality. She does not want for offensive options, though, and will hold her own quite handily.

-Chapter 1: I'm Born! ~ Lone Idiot & Cub-

The game starts with a narrator speaking over a black screen.

Narrator: Nearly a century has passed since the legendary Hero-King of the Puddings sealed away the wicked goddess, Hulst.

JeffCom's translation team was not on point here. She was called Halst in the first game, Hulst in the second, and it wasn't until AQ3 where they finally got her actual name, Holstein, in the game correctly.

Narrator: When the red star appeared in the night sky, people called it the “Eye of Calamity” and said it was an omen of dark things yet to come. The people were without the heroes of legend and uncertainty took deep root in the tumultuous times. As a result, the Church of Sethan became home to many, seeking peace of mind and a road to hope, but not all was as it appeared to be.

Then, the image of a deformed skull appears on screen, in the center of what should be the forehead is a large, pulsating eye.

???: ****! Be careful!

Skull: I shall bring forth my revenge. Your efforts to stop me are in vain!

???: Oh yeah?! EAT THIS!

The Skull gets a large slash across its face. Uh, skull. Whatever.

Skull: Insolent Puddings! This is the will of the very stars themselves!

???: This is too dangerous! It's destabilizing!

???: But we're so close, ******! We can stop it now! ???: There's no time. Go on without me!

Skull: Trying to escape?! I won't let--

???: NOT WITHOUT A FALL GUY, BITCH! GLADIATOR!!! Skull OH SHIIIIIIIIII--!!!

The screen whites out then comes back in, late in the evening as some young boy in ragged clothes, with four sheaths around his belt stumbles into view.

Boy: … Huh? Wait... where...? Oh, I don't feel so good...

The boy shakily takes a few paces before falling flat.

Boy: Ungh! My face is in the dirt, isn't it?

The boy lies there for a moment as a well-to-do girl walks on screen, clad in a yellow ribbon and matching dress.

Girl: ! What?!

She hurries over to him and, for a moment, looks like she's going to help him up. Instead, she whips out a stick and begins poking him in the head.

Girl: Hey, are you dead?

Boy: …

After a moment of this, an elderly man in a suit, identified only as Butler, walks over.

Butler: I see. M'lady, allow me, if you would.

The butler, quite violently, kicks the boy.

Butler: WAKE UP, TWERP! THE LADY HAS DEMANDED YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HER!

Boy: OH GOD, THAT WAS MOST CERTAINLY ONCE SOMETHING VITAL!!!

The boy leaps awake and steps away from the two.

Boy: What was that all about?!

Butler: It's rude not to reply to a lady's inquiry! You vagabond!

Boy: Your... mom... is a bag of bonds...

Girl: What's your name?

Boy: I'm Dood.

Girl: I'm Deliost. Want to be friends? Dood: Sure, why not?

Deliost: Fantastic! Daddy always said I need to make some friends! And the last time I tried to make some, it didn't pan out so well.

Dood: Why not? Differences in hobbies?

Deliost: No, I tried to literally make them. Like build them. Out of straw and rocks. My therapist says I'm making great strides, though!

Dood: Great...

Deliost: I don't really get to go out and do much. Even when I do I have to stay close to the castle.

Dood: There's a castle? Deliost: Indeed. I am the princess of the kingdom of Toruble.

Dood: … What's a Toruble?

Butler: Shall I teach the boy a lesson, m'lady? Deliost: Please, do.

The Butler socks Dood in the face, knocking him out cold.

Deliost: BUTLER?! Butler: There. Lesson learned.

Deliost: I meant open a history book and tell him about the Toruble Kingdom! Butler: Oh. … Bully. Now I just feel silly.

The scene fades out, then returns with Dood laying in a bed.

Dood: Boy, I sure hope I get to maintain consciousness for longer than 10 minute intervals today. That'd be swell.

Deliost walks in.

Deliost: Dood, are you okay? Dood: I'm fine. I think.

Deliost: That's a relief!

A tall man in regal splendor walks in.

King: And this...? Deliost: This is Dood. You said I could keep him!

The King goes to Dood and eyes him.

King: You'd better take good care of my little girl, you got that? One step out of line and--

Dood: Sir. I'm pretty sure I'm like 10 years old. Probably. 10-ish.

Suddenly, some guards rush in.

Knight: Y-your highness! Monster attack! King: What you say?!

The scene cuts outside, as we see a knight get knocked down by some munchkins.

Knight: No!! Knight 2! He was the finest mind of his generation!!

Dood suddenly rushes outside.

Deliost: Dood, what are you--?!

Dood: It's fightin' time!!

Dood leaps into battle with the munchkins. This works as your tutorial, with the game briefly explaining Attack, Defend, Skill, Item, and Flee options that any RPG veteran should be very familiar with. If you try to flee from this battle, the munchkins hold up a pistol to a teddy bear's head and Dood insists it would be unjust to leave it as-is. But as Munchkins die to one attack each from Dood and his high offense build, it'll only take a moment. If you ignore the tutorials for Defend, Skill, and Item, and keep attacking, the game will let you do so, but scold you for not paying attention.

Dood: Hyaaa!!

Munchkins: Run away! Run away!!!

Deliost: Whoa, Dood... that was so brave! How did you do that?! Dood: Oh, it's easy.

Dood takes out one of his swords and points.

Dood: The pointy end is the business end.

Deliost: That's... not what I... okay. Sure. Alright.

Knight: That was incredible swordsmanship! Who taught you? Dood: … Um...?

Knight: You... do have a teacher, right?

You then get a prompt...

My parents!

My Master!

The Sun!

What's a teacher?

If you select My parents!

Dood: My parents!

Knight: Who are you parents? Dood: …

Tears well up in Dood's eyes.

Dood: Uwaaaaaaaah! I'm an orphan?!

Deliost: You didn't know that until just now?!

If you select My master!

Dood: My master! Knight: Who was your master?

Dood: … My Master. Obvs.

Knight: Yes, but what was his name? Dood: Mr. Ster.

Knight: You don't remember his name, do you? Dood: No.

If you select the sun!

Dood: THE SUN!!!

Deliost: What?

Dood: I stare into the sun and it fills me with power! Deliost: Dood, you really shouldn't do that...

If you select What’s a teacher?

Dood: … What's a teacher?

Deliost: Something you appear to be in dire need of...

Knight: … Well, your skills are undeniable! Maybe you should take up some work at the guild!

Dood: Work sounds good. Then I could buy MORE SWORDS!

Deliost: Um! Um! Yes, Dood, let us go and do good by the people!

Deliost grabs Dood's hand and pulls him off-screen as the knights idle. The camera soon catches up to them on a small dirt road.

Dood: Where are we going so fast?

Deliost: Anywhere! Now's our chance to get out and get away from the castle for a bit! C'mon!

Dood: Um. Okay!

You're then whisked away to FirstTown, where you're free to go around and talk to NPCs at your leisure. Here we can find a basic item and weapon shop, alongside a place with a sword and shield icon, wherein lies the guild and the plot. Inside is a lady in a dirndl is stationed at the counter.

Woman: Welcome, I am the guild stewardess. I'll post side miss-- I mean-- important jobs that you can accept here at the counter. In fact, there's a guild location in every city of the world, and due to our lightning-quick messaging services, we can relay information and jobs from all over the world to any location in a very convenient fashion!

Deliost: Ooo. What kind of work can we do here?

Dood: I wanna kill a dragon.

Deliost: Dood... do you know what a dragon... is? Dood: No, but I know I wanna fight one! Stewardess: No dragon slaying today, but I do have this. This might be a good test of your abilities.

Dood receives quest: find lost dog.

Dood: A lost dog?! That's... the saddest thing... I ever h-heeeeeeeeard!!!

Dood bawls.

Deliost: I had no idea you were so in-tune with your emotions, Dood! You're kind of like a puppy yourself...

Dood: I am? Deliost: Yeah. Like one of those small ones that never really gets terribly smart, and sometimes pees the floor out of excitement, but they mean well.

Dood: Aww, that's nice of you to say!

Now we can access the nearby inn, or leave town and see the world map. We're sort of stuck on a linear path for the time being, but we ultimately need to head to the north, near the mountains, but I wouldn't recommend going there until you're level 3 or 4, just to be safe.

Dood: I think it went this way!

Deliost: You can determine where the dog went... how?

Dood: Well, it's easy. To find a dog, you gotta think like a dog.

Deliost: You can do that? Dood: Watch me.

Dood gets down on all fours.

Dood: Woof! Woof! Barf, barf, barf!

Deliost: …

Deliost puts a hand to her mouth, trying not to laugh. You're then free to explore the mountain road. As you do, you'll see a deer munching grass.

Deliost: Dood, wait a sec.

Dood: What?

Deliost: Look there.

Dood: … Is that a dragon? Deliost: … Huh? No! Dood, it's a deer.

Dood: I'm-a kill it anyway.

Deliost: What?!

You then gain control of Dood and you're prompted to tap “Y” when near the deer, which you can sneak up on if you time it right. Dood will slash with his sword, turning the deer into large, cartoon meat on a bone. Deliost does her best impression of The Scream as Dood picks up and presents the meat.

Dood: I killed a dragon! Deliost: Uuuugh... I suppose hunting is a way to get supplies when our coffers are low... but... oh, Dood...

Now, when a random encounter concludes, there's a chance, depending on what map you're on, that a hunting event can occur, where you can kill some wildlife to get items. Dood hits with his sword, and will usually yield a meat, an item that restores health usually, and Deliost throws a small spark of electricity which is good for taking down small birds which Dood can't hit. As you go through the cave here, there's a healing spring.

Deliost: This is... it is. If we drink this water, it'll refresh us, body and mind. It's just like a good night's rest, Dood. … Dood?

Deliost looks over. Dood is shirtless.

Dood: So, we bathe in it, right? Deliost: KYAAAAAA!!! PERVERT!!!

Deliost gets a violent nosebleed, then smacks Dood in the face with her spoon. This sends Dood careening back into the wall.

Dood: BARF!

Dood and Deliost learn their first dual skill: Dood Toss, where Deliost swats Dood in the back, hurling him into the enemy for large damage. From here, you should grind at least a little, then proceed to the end of the cave. As you exit the cave, be sure you save, as not far from the entrance is the boss. Dood and Deliost walk a bit before the creature crosses their path. It's a duck with horns and large, pronounced feet.

Dood: Is that...?

Deliost: It is! It's a--

Dood: DRAGON!

Deliost: Dood! No! It's a Jackoduck!!

-Boss Fight!-

Jackoduck

LP: 500

MP: 100

The Jackoduck is strong, only because it's HP is very high compared to what you're likely used to at this point. However, it doesn't have many abilities of note, mostly involving its Duckaphony attack, which will hit you both for small damage. If you heal as needed, there shouldn't be any issue here, especially as at level 6 Deliost gets the first lightning spell, which deals good damage against it.

-Boss Fight!-

Dood: Whew. That wasn't so ba--

The Jackoduck gets up and bites Dood's arm

Dood: Oooooh nooooo! Deliost! Shoot it! Shoot it!!! Deliost: But it's still connected to you! Electricity will--

Dood: I don't care! Just shoot it! Deliost: Well, okay.

Deliost raises her hand as a massive storm of lightning drops down on Dood and the Jackoduck.

Dood: BARF!!!

The Jackoduck explodes and Dood drops.

Dood: I killed a dragon.

Deliost: Sigh...

You're then free to leave the mountain and you'll exit on the other side, whereupon you'll find... a frog.

Frog: Ribbit.

Dood: Is it--

Deliost: It's not a dragon, Dood!!!

Dood: No, obviously, it isn't.

Deliost: Oh, thank goodness...

Dood: It's the dog we've been looking for! Deliost: Say WHAT?!

Dood got... dog? Now we can head back to FirstTown. Once there, go to the guild.

Dood: We saved the dog! See? Frog: Ribbit.

Deliost: I'm sorry, he's slow on the uptake.

Stewardess: Ehn. Seems legit. Here's 500 currencies.

Dood: Yay!

Deliost's jaw falls and hangs open.

Dood: What next? Stewardess: Nothing right now, I'm afraid. But if you're curious, there's a new monster battle ring in the west where they've got a really neat lineup for the Monster Girl Festa.

Deliost: The... what?

Dood: Sounds kosher. Let's go!

You then can travel westward and enter into Corset, the mini-town that surrounds the coliseum area. Inside, you can't actually access the coliseum, due to a huge herd of people clamoring to battle with the monster girl champ, Balzac. Everyone in this town will tell you that to be anybody in this town, you have to win big at the coliseum, and that if you don't have one, a few stray monster girls run wild in the forest. You can tell this was a 90's RPG, as this, alongside a noteworthy minigame in AQ1 was wildly lambasted by Amelia Sardinian as the reasons why JeffCom+DTK and all its affiliates should, and I quote, “die horribly”. Anyway, we can go out into the forest and enter a little maze area where the enemies just love to spam poison as an ailment. The Mushroom Men, Dire Sparrows, and Vorpal Earthworms are indeed annoying, but if you brought lots of antidotes with you, it shouldn't be awful. At the end of it, you'll reach a clearing, where something considerably larger than you is leaping around the canopy, circling you.

Deliost: I don't think we're alone, Dood...

Dood: How can we be alone when there's two of us?

Deliost: I mean there's someone else here with us, Dood!

Dood: I didn't see anything.

The shadow blazes overhead again.

Deliost: There! Didn't you see that? Dood: Sorry, I can't see anything. I'm busy checking my eyelids for cracks.

Deliost grabs Dood's head and yanks it so he's looking up, just in time for the shadow to ninja past them again.

Dood: Whoa! There's someone here! Deliost: No, really?!

The shadow leaps down before them, revealing a curvaceous monster girl with large claws, long hair, and a long, scorpion-like tail.

Dood: It's...! It's...!

Deliost: Dood! Do not say “Dragon”!

Dood: … I'm still gonna think it.

The woman roars.

-Boss Fight!-

Womanticore

LP: 800

MP: 300

This is your wake-up boss fight. She follows up almost all her attacks with “Waffle Iron”, where she strikes with her claws after her normal attack, or she'll use “Mode Change” where she'll change color and use an elemental strike. She also has a huge pool of HP by comparison to anything we'd encountered. When her health dips below 25%, she'll give up using Waffle Iron, and grab one of your two characters with her tail, immobilizing them until the other hits her a few times, forcing her to drop them. This can be super frustrating, so heal early, heal often.

-Boss Fight!-

Monster Woman: Graaaaa--!!!

She falls.

Dood: I KILLED A D-- I mean... nothing.

Deliost rolls her eyes. The Monster Woman suddenly begins flailing, pounding her fists, feet, and tail up and down on the ground.

Monster Woman: Nooooo! It's not faaaair! I'm so hungry! All I want is a candy bar! But all there are to eat out here are bunnies and squirrels and they're TOO CUTE TO EAT! And the berries, good lord, the berries empty me out!!! A-bloo-bloo-blooooo!!!

She begins crying, with exaggerated anime water fountain tears and everything.

Dood: I can safely say I was not expecting that.

Deliost: Oh dear... maybe we should apologize to her?

Approach and speak to her, but all she does is continue her tantrum, reiterating how much she wants a candy bar. For now, we have to leave and return to FirstTown's item shop, which just got a fresh batch of Candy Bar items in, which we can buy on the cheap. For zenny vs. healing, candy bars are actually more economical than mundane potions, amusingly enough! Anyways, take at least one and go back to the Womanticore.

Monster Woman: W-w-what do you want? Sniffle. Hic.

Dood: Here!

Dood gave her the candy bar!

Monster Woman: … Ah! A candy bar?!

She hurriedly unwraps it, break it in half, and feeds half to her tail and eats half with her mouth.

Dood: … Pssst! Deliost! She just ate that with her butt! … Does she poop out her mouth?!

Deliost: You're not whispering, you know. She can hear you just fine.

Monster Woman: I'm Kylie. Who are you? And why are two little kids wandering around the forest?

Dood: Oh, this is Del-- Deliost: I'M ENKI AND THIS IS DOO... uhh... DUDU!

Dood: … Huh?

Deliost: (Dood! I'm a runaway princess! We can't just go around telling everyone who we are! They'll take us back to the castle if we do that!) Dood: (Yeah, but, why do I have to be Dudu?) Deliost: (You started talking about pooping out your mouth, so it just popped into my head!)

Until it says otherwise, Dood is listed as Dudu and Deliost is listed as Enki, even on the menu screen.

Kylie: How... old are you two? Dudu: I'm... 10-ish? Yeah, let's go with that.

Enki: I'm 11.

Kylie: Hm. Well, I clearly have to be the adult here, seeing as I'm 2!

Dudu: That makes sense! Enki: It... doesn't really. But we can just tell people she's 20 and they'd believe it...

Kylie: I'll go with you! That way we'll be safe!

Kylie joins! She is a customizable character, who starts with three copies of the “Womanticore” gene. As you get more, you can customize her, which changes her Head (her hair and horns), her Body (mostly her arms and color palette), and her Legs (which alters her legs and tail). This has made her very popular, as some late game combinations can be game-breaking, due to any gene being able to slot into any of the three options. Her starting skill is Roar, which ups one character's offense for a few turns. At this point, we can return to Corset and the crowd huddled around the door to the coliseum has dispersed. Inside, we can now register for the battle!

Receptionist: I see. Entering the Monster Girl battle with this Womanticore, eh? Well, if you want to do so, you'll need to pass our preliminary match against our director of monster resources!

Dudu: Kay.

Kylie: Me?! But aren't there younger, prettier monster girls you'd want to enter?!

Enki: Actually, I'd be legitimately surprised if there were any monsters here younger than you...

Now we can head over to a small dungeon-like room, to find a horrifyingly muscular man, whose head appears to be too small for his frame.

Dir. Of MR: OH YEEEEEEEEEEAH! Dudu: … I think I peed myself a little in reflective terror.

Enki: Me too.

-Boss Fight!-

Director of Monster Resources

LP: 500

MP: 0

This guy is a joke boss, if his LP didn't tip you off. He just shouts “AGE?! SEX?! LOCATION?!” at you and punches, which barely does any damage. There's literally no reason you should lose here if you're trying.

-Boss Fight!-

Dir. Of MR: OH YEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!

Dudu: I guess we passed?

Kylie: Yay!

At this point, you're invited to speak to the manager, July.

July: Ah, the new rising stars here to challenge Balzac, I presume? Dudu: I don't know why but the answer is “Yes”!

July: Lucky you, your opponent is a girl, so it'll be easy! Kylie: But... I'm a girl too... what's that have to do with anything?

July: Well, the truth is... the outcome is already set.

Enki: What? The fight is a farce?!

Dudu: And it's fake too?!

July: The cruel up-n-comer, who wants to win at any cost... slowly tortures her enemy... and kills her for the sick entertainment of this crowd! … I expect very high ratings.

Kylie's face goes pale, as her tail turns downward and actually vomits.

July: There is no way you will lose, Dudu. During the battle's climax, we will fire poisoned darts at the enemy monster. She will die and you will win. The ratings will explode through the roof as the old champ is unseated, and we will become very, very rich...

Dudu: We... uh... need to... go... place... now.

July: Be sure to get your advanced payment from your locker room!

Go there, and you'll get 1000 zenny. Immediately head out and deposit it in the bank, then return and try to go into Balzac's prep room.

Dudu: Balzac! Balzac!!

Enki: Dudu, what are you doing? Dudu: We have to warn him! We have to protect his monster girl!

Balzac: I can't sign autographs right now! I'm, uh, preparing my girl for battle! Y-yeah, that's the ticket.

Kylie: It's no good. We'll have to do something else.

Kylie paces back and forth as her tail scratches her head.

Kylie: Ah! I got it!

Kylie's tail snaps like fingers as a light bulb lights up over her head.

Kylie: Dudu, let me borrow your coin purse!

Dudu: It's a coin pouch.

Kylie: Now's not the time to argue over your fragile masculinity. Hand it over!

Dudu gave Kylie all his money.

Kylie: I'm gonna get two antidotes. When I fight his monster, we'll both take one and then we'll be safe! Dudu: Great idea!

Enki: Be honest. You're taking all his money so you can stock up on candy bars, aren't you?

Kylie's tail nods.

Kylie: No! … Yes.

She hurriedly walks off screen.

Enki: Aren't you upset?! Dudu: Not if she gives me one!

Enki: Ugh...

You then take over as Kylie solo. At this point, you now have two antidotes in your key items, so you can get your money back and do any prep you need to before the fight. When you're ready, go inside and go to to the arena floor. There, a huge crowd excitedly cheers. Opposite you is a strange, cyclopean cat girl creature.

Kylie: Hi! I'm Kylie!

Monster Girl: Hmph! You're goin' down!

Balzac: Yeah! What she said!

-Boss Fight!-

Cat-oblepas

LP: 600

MP: 800

While Cat-oblepas (ugh, the puns) lacks the raw hitting power of Kylie, she has the ability to turn her to stone for one round with her “Cat's Eye” technique. In itself, this does no damage, but it gives her an opening to hit you before you can act again. If you leveled her a bit, Kylie should have the “Lick Wounds” skill which restores HP to one target, and is generally more efficient than the healing items you'll have access to at this point. This is a war of attrition and you'll be going back and forth and sometimes the random off-chance that is Critical Hitting or Counter Attacking can shift the tide, resulting in some infuriating lucksacking scenarios. Just be patient and you'll win!

-Boss Fight!-

Dudu: Kylie! Knock her out! Quickly! Enki: What he means is SHOVE HER OUT OF HARM'S WAY! The way he's saying makes it sound useless and vague, as she's already unconscious!

At this point, you have a few moments to act and push the KO'd Cat-oblepas out of harm's way. If you do, Kylie immediately chugs an antidote (one for her tail, one for her face) and presents a hearty thumbs-up to the player. If you don't, she force-feeds an antidote to Cat-oblepas and drinks one, but faints and you'll have to take on the next boss without her. Either way, this event gives Kylie her first customizable gene – Poison! The next scene is just the party walking to July's office.

July: What's the matter? You didn't like my script, Dudu? Dudu: MY NAME IS NOT DUDU. I AM DOOD.

Enki: Because that's so much different...

July: Come at me, bro, I'm fekken ripped!!

July bursts into smoke as the boss fight cues. An amusing point, Dood's name in Japanese is read as “Doo-dii”, so what he's actually screaming is “I AM NOT DOO-DOO, I'M DOO-DII,” because apparently JeffCom has 13 year olds as writers.

-Boss Fight!-

July

LP: 1200

MP: 500

If there was really a battle that you run the risk of losing in chapter 1, it's this one. He hits like a truck, can use Waffle Iron, can hit the entire party with ice damage, and also, you can accidentally end up fighting him and be a party member-down! So definitely come here with Kylie. Deliost should also have her fire spells at this point, which you'll want to use liberally here, as they'll do maximum damage against this guy. Dood should stick to attacking, and have Kylie use whatever buffs she has at the ready when you arrive. If she's a sufficiently high level, she should have “Proud Cry” which ups defense, which Deliost should definitely have cast on her. This guy doesn't have any weird tricks or gimmicks. It's just a heavy clash of titans here. Do your best.

-Boss Fight!-

July: N-no way! My script... run through the shredder?! Impossible...! B-but don't think for a second that just knocking me down will stop our God's wrath!

Kylie: You try to murder and deceive, yet speak of God?! What deity does one as sick as you worship?!

July: BARF!

July explodes.

Kylie: … I wasn't expecting that.

Dood: Wow. July was a real monster over his profits! Deliost: That joke sucked!!

And you then leave, concluding Chapter 1!

#Adventure #fiction #fantasy #science fantasy #writing #infrequently asked questions #Amazing Quest

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