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protectchara201x · 3 years

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(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

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akatsuki-shin · 3 years

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Review: 默读 Mò Dú (Silent Reading)

Notes:

(Very) long post ahead

Contains spoiler

This is my personal review and does not represent the entire audience, you are free to agree or not agree with what I’ve written here

Feel free to reply/send me a message if there are things you want to discuss

Using the Donghua poster because it fits the overall story more than the Audio Drama cover. :'))

Summary:

Yan City is a bright, bustling metropolis filled with all sorts of wonders, all sorts of people. From the richest occupying the city's most prestigious residential areas to the poorest huddling together in rundown slums, from the most fortunate blessed with a life of comfort to the wretched deemed to struggle until their last breath, from the virtuous walking in the path of light to the wicked lurking under the cover of darkness.

There is as much good as there is evil, and days gone by, people coming and going along with the passage of time.

Since their first meeting during a certain case seven years ago, Captain of the City Bureau's Crime Investigation Unit Luo Wenzhou thought he would never see eye to eye with Fei Du, son of a well-known conglomerate who inherited his father's position and wealth after the latter fell into comatose due to a near-fatal accident three years ago.

Words as sharp as knives dyed their bitter exchanges, even their personality was like the heaven and earth; the bold, blunt, and straightforward Luo Wenzhou - and the astute, secretive Fei Du, with his beautiful peach blossom eyes and a smile that is not quite a smile seducing countless people, his very presence seems as if it was covered under layers and layers of deceit.

Every single time they meet, they would always part on bad terms. Yet Luo Wenzhou would never have thought that a seemingly ordinary murder case of an ordinary deliveryman would lead him into the mystery of multiple long forgotten unsolved cases, turning over the Yan City and the City Bureau itself upside down, making him question his faith to those he respected and trust - and along with it, opening a door to the truth of Fei Du's past never once known to others.

STORY: 9/10

At first glance, the overall plot of Silent Reading seems neither extravagant nor exceptional. It's just one of those police drama where the main leads had to wrestle in a battle of wits with the villains looming around them, struggling to outsmart each other and eventually, bringing justice to those who deserve it.

But that is exactly what is so good about it. Silent reading could take all of those cliche and packed them into one nerve-wrecking, enticing journey from start to finish, complete with both intense and amusing interactions, and just the right amount of romance that does not disturb the flow of the main story.

And it actually does have its own uniqueness.

In most police dramas I've ever seen, the enemy is usually either a corrupt high-ranking official committing some hideous criminal acts by abusing their authority, or an individual/group with some very extreme values or obsession. Silent Reading, however, have both of those two most general types of villains in the story and what's more? It pits them against each other, pulling around and forcing the main leads to wreck their brains, slowly unravel the tangled mess until the truth finally comes to light.

The action and suspense, the atmosphere, the analysis, everything was almost impeccable to the point of perfection.

I have to especially give my kudos to how the author (Priest) structured the mystery in such a way, connecting one dots to the other from beginning to end. During the first few cases, I thought the resolution of the case didn't feel very solid, as if there are still some details that have yet to be properly elaborated. Yet halfway through, I realize that there is actually a bigger plot that encompass everything, tying all loose ends together.

And here, I would also like to highlight my two most favorite scene.

The first one is in Chapter 114-115 when Luo Wenzhou finally peeled of Fei Du's defense and for the first time exposed his true feelings, making Fei Du faced and spoke what he truly felt for Luo Wenzhou - that he really, actually did care for him. Their entire interactions and development up to this scene fits so well with these two main characters. There was no nonsense, no sappy crying and needless drama. Luo Wenzhou was as blunt as he was desperate and Fei Du, for once, admitted to the truth straight out with his own mouth.

The second one is in Chapter 157. In this case, one of Fei Du's most trusted men and an extremely important witness (that would later become their ally) were being chased and surrounded by thugs hired by their enemy. At this point of the story, the City Bureau was already in turmoil. Luo Wenzhou was suspended, nobody knows who they could or could not trust. Yet still, his subordinates all set out swiftly under his command and followed him to save the two witnesses, appearing at the most critical time.

It was actually a typical scene that exist in many police action drama, but given the development of the story, the well-built character relationship and interactions, I think it is Luo Wenzhou's coolest scene in the entire story and it makes me admire him a lot as the main lead and a leader figure.

One thing that does not quite sit well with me is Fan Siyuan's obsessiveness towards the late Gu Zhao. His motive for the crime was clear and I understand that he was using Gu Zhao's case as an example of injustice. But his extreme emotions whenever Gu Zhao was mentioned seems strange, even baseless. It makes me think whether he considers Gu Zhao as his own family or he was maybe madly in love with Gu Zhao, whereas in the entire story, unless I'm missing something, I have only ever known that Gu Zhao was Fan Siyuan's student - nothing more, nothing less.

CHARACTERS: 9/10

Silent Reading has a balanced, yet still very much appealing casts, from the major characters to the minor ones. Even the suspects and witnesses each had their own distinguishing features that didn't make them look like they were just there as canon fodders.

The composition of Luo Wenzhou's team itself is ideal; they've got the dependable leader, the smart advisor, the best friend and trustworthy right-hand man, the genius nerd, and the dependable aide.

I especially like Tao Ran (and I think most readers would agree with me). While he looks like the typical good guy type, he really, truly is a very good person. It's hard not to find him lovable. His relationship with Chang Ning was as cliche as it could get, but hey, as long as he's happy. Dude deserve it after everything he's done.

As for the two main leads, they are probably one of the most interesting couple I've found in the past few years.

Individually, Luo Wenzhou is the type of character I always like. He is confident to the point of having a narcissistic streak, but all of those are based on real talents and experiences. He speaks bluntly, but he cares for others through his action. He does not sugarcoat things and speaks the truth for what it is. Everything about him simply screams "reliable" as a leader (and a significant other to a certain someone). He deserves all of the respect and loyalty his subordinates gave to him.

Fei Du at first looks like a complex character whose real self is hidden beneath countless coats of pretense, but at the core, he is just a pitiful young man who does not know how to value himself, does not know how to love and be loved due to the abuse he suffered during childhood in the hands of his sadistic father. Despite his composure, his intelligence, his capability, he is almost like a lost little child, wandering in the darkness, going wherever the flow would take him until Luo Wenzhou pulled him out of that abyss. It is nothing less than commendable that he could restrain himself from succumbing into his father's manipulation, even if he has to correct himself through such extreme means for a long time.

And I'm glad that now he has someone who gives him the love he has long since been bereft of.

With Luo Wenzhou, Fei Du finally has a color in his life, someone to make happy memories with, and someone who genuinely love him for who he is. Likewise, with Fei Du, not only Luo Wenzhou got someone he could genuinely care for, he also finally has a place where he could relax, taking off the strong front he'd been putting before others all day long.

It was just so fulfilling to see two characters growing from "cat and dog" into inseparable lovers. They weren't sickeningly sweet, but just two people who are content with each other and would be each other's strength. I was especially happy when I saw how Fei Du changed his phone's ring tone into the one Luo Wenzhou in the extra chapter.

Now that I've finished reading this story, these two straight up went to the top of my all-time most favorite pairing list. But of course, this is just a personal opinion. Luo Wenzhou and Fei Du simply hits all of my favorite tropes, that's why. 😂

If I really have to point out one mini flaw, I suppose it's that the main villains aren't as appealing as the rest of the casts. They were practically overshadowed, even by some minor characters that only appeared for a short while.

TECHNICAL ASPECTS: 9/10

Just some very minor complaints:

1). When the story first introduced Fei Du in the beginning, it felt kind of abrupt. The narration had only been addressing him with his physical appearance, but suddenly they changed it into "Fei Du" with barely any proper start.

2). The international conference in Yan City (Chapter 2) was supposed to be a background information of the general setting of the first case, yet it was not properly mentioned at the start - rather, one sort paragraph about said conference was simply being slipped in the middle just for the sake to be there.

3). The switching of scenes between characters in the 3rd person POV are sometimes too quick with no signs of incoming transitions beforehand like taking shortcuts.

And by that, I mean that other than those three issues above, everything else was nothing less than perfect.

OVERALL SCORE: 9/10

A realistic story with perfectly balanced action, mystery, suspense, and romance - with a dash of comedy sprinkled at the right time and place.

Reading the novel from start to finish was nothing less than enjoyable. Whenever there needed to be a flashback or explanation, it didn't feel like info dump being thrown in all of a sudden.

I would like to point out a bit about the Zhou Conglomerate Case in Book 3.

Personally speaking, I think this is the most realistic case out of the others, and by that, I don't mean the crazy rich family drama.

The other cases in the books are something that to me feels "faraway"; murders, child trafficking, psychopath, organized criminal gangs. Yet in Book 3, due to the nature of the case, it was posted publicly for all to see, and damn if it didn't bring out the most annoying thing I actually hate in real life.

Clout-chasing media, meddlesome netizens commenting without thinking on the Internet, spreading personal information of the involved individuals without consent, handing down judgment based on rumors and personal opinions even if they have nothing to do with it (and know nothing about it), crashing the website due to mere curiosity, further hindering the police working on the case from doing their job.

They weren't thinking about those actually involved in the case, especially the victim. They don't care, or maybe don't even think that their meddlesome acts could cost a human's life because they see everything as mere passing entertainment. And if something were to happen because of their meddling, the most they would say is, of course, as quoted from Chapter 72:

"I didn't do it on purpose"

"I wasn't doing it to you"

"I didn't expect this to be the outcome"

"From a certain point of view, I'm a victim, too"

Even if I was just reading a fiction, at that moment I truly wished I could shut down the Internet for a bit. 😂

Anyway, amazing story. I might re-read everything from the start again when I have some free time.

#Mo Du #Silent Reading #Luo Wenzhou #Fei Du #ZhouDu #Review #Danmei #Priest

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lyricanalysis · 7 years

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the start of vices & virtues

hi. back at it again with an analysis nobody asked for. so today, folks, we’re doing it on ballad of mona lisa and this one was a lot of fun, but so are all of them. whatever.

now, chronologically, this one is known to be the first song written for all of v&v. this song, according to wiki, was written after pretty. odd. was released but before they had toured so it’s old. now, that’s just important to how i’m phrasing all of this, knowing the timeline. (aka, this is before whatever happened in cape town).

before we start, we’re going to talk about the title right quick. so the definition of ballad is: a poem or song narrating a story in short stanzas. so really, this if just a fancy way of saying that this song is a story about mona lisa. now, the thing that stumped me and my sister for a long time was why mona lisa? why her in particular? songs are very meaningful in the way that things as big as that aren’t an accident. it’s not a name you pull out of your ass as a placeholder. she has some sort of meaning to this song (especially since she shows up in the lyrics later in this song (also in another song, hmmm). so we looked into the meaning of mona lisa and there’s a lot of different things but a lot of what we found was mysterious person. nobody knows who she was, they have guesses but we’ll never know for sure. she’s this person that we all know what she looks like but we don’t know who beyond that. hmmm, how can i tie THAT into a song?

anyway, if you didn’t get it, mona lisa is ryan. she, in this song, is ryan, and he is brendon.

She paints her fingers with a close precision

He starts to notice empty bottles of gin

And takes a moment to assess the sins she’s paid for

so first off, brendon was talking about this lyric in an interview. he said that this is about someone dolling themselves up. but like, honestly, if you watch any of panic, that’s not really brendon’s thing tbh. like, sure, he wears high heels sometimes but makeup isn’t really a brendon thing. (even in early panic days, he wasn’t all that emo until he met ryan). with that, it was very much ryans thing to do the emo makeup and such, not brendon’s. so with that in mind, this is about someone dolling themselves up which could also be a reference to putting on a facade, lying about who someone is. cough cough mona lisa?

then, these other two lyrics, it was kinda hard to figure out what they meant so here’s our idea. so, early panic days, even up to pretty odd, they were kinda wild. they drank a lot and did a lot of drugs, tbh. i think that when ryden first started, it was a thing like opportunity? they were both drunk so why not. now where the lyric comes in, i think that the relationship between ryan and brendon started with a lot of drinking but brendon fell in love with ryan, ryan never loved brendon. so when brendon developed feelings, he didn’t need to be drunk or high to be able to sleep with ryan. but for ryan, that never changed. this song, as you’ll see, is a lot about brendon sort of realizing that maybe ryan didn’t love him the way he wanted him to. ryan still had to be drunk in order to sleep with brendon and this is brendon realizing that. he’s looking around and seeing all these alcohol bottles and other things and realizing that ‘hey, maybe things aren’t what they should be’. the last lyric of that chunk ties into all of that. he pauses from what he’s doing, whatever brendon was doing, and looked over things. he was looking at all the signs, things ryan had said, things he’d seen and realized that, again, maybe things weren’t what they should be.

A lonely speaker in a conversation

Her words were swimming through his ears again

There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

so, this one took us a little while to get but hear me out. so we said that brendon was the only one who fell in love, right? just, for now, say that this ‘conversation’ is actually just a metaphor for sex. so, with brendon being the only one in love, he was the only one really contributing in a sense. sure, ryan could get his dick hard and you know, have the sex stuff but, there wasn’t any feelings. ryan was just doing it, there wasn’t anything more to it then that. kind of a shitty feeling for brendon and this song is him realizing that.

then, i posted an analysis for northern downpour that you can read here. basically, if you’re gonna be too lazy to read then, here’s a very short synopsis. ryan was basically saying that he doesn’t feel the same and it’s this long, very extra way to tell brendon that he’s delusional if he thinks that ryan will love him. ANYWAY, this song is a lot about brendon starting to doubt the truth that he seems to have conjured up and so he’s thinking over the songs off pretty odd that ryan wrote, thinking about them and trying to see them from ryans perspective almost. he heard northern downpour as a love song and he’s starting to think about it as what it really was, a song that said i will never love you.

this line comes up again at the end so there’s some significance but this is still the beginning, brendon is still on the fence about what he believes. he’s not wanting to let go of the man he loves yet so he’s saying here that ‘hey ryan, it’s not that hard to show me a little bit of love’. it’s kinda sad, really. he’s saying that he’s not that hard to leave.

He senses something, call it desperation

Another dollar, another day

And if she had the proper words to say,

She would tell him

But she'd have nothing left to sell him

so remember at the beginning how i said that he was brendon? it still is, fam. anyway, brendon is sensing desperation in himself. he’s watching this relationship fall apart in front of him and he’s not sure what he’s desperate for but it’s something. he wants to either have ryan say he’s in love or say that he isn’t. he needs one of the two before it starts to ruin him (hint: it already has). anyway, another dollar another day, is just a fancy way of saying that he’s going through the motions. we say with the bottles of gin that brendon was starting to realize that things weren’t right and that’s starting to play in the front of his mind. he’s not ready yet to give up so seeing ryan and trying to be with him is starting to feel robotic. he’s just walking along and he isn’t quite sure what to do yet, he doesn’t know.

so i’m definitely taking this proper words thing, again, as i love you. this song is a lot, to me, about brendon desperately trying to hold onto whatever he thinks that him and ryan have. this was written when ryan was still in the band and i’ve hinted/mentioned at it before. i think their relationship was very one-sided. even their stage gay was very one-sided. i think that their relationship was brendon falling hard and fast for ryan but ryan didn’t see him romantically. i think to ryan, their relationship was purely sexual and brendon just tried to see past it all. i think this song was brendon questioning a lot of things and finally, maybe, seeing that ryan wasn’t truthful. (i’m totally rolling with that through the duration of their relationship he hinted at feelings to keep brendon saited but didn’t mean it). so if ryan had the words to tell brendon that he didn’t actually care romantically (without losing the sex) then he would have. he would tell brendon if he could keep their friends with benefits thing. if he did though, he wouldn’t have any other lies to feed to brendon to keep him around (and keep the sex).

Mona Lisa wear me out

Pleased to please ya

Mona Lisa wear me out

so first off, let’s go back to mona lisa. in this song, mona lisa is ryan. now we’re bringing up again the meaning behind her and the fact that nobody knows who she is. and we’re going to take ryan as a catfish, of sorts. he’s been lying to brendon this whole time. sure, it was fun and games to fuck for them at the beginning but once brendon fell in love, he had to lie to keep brendon around. he never loved brendon but brendon has loved him for a long time. so with that, nobody knows the real ryan anymore which is why he’s mona lisa. he’s been lying for so long that they feel he’s just a fake, they can’t believe anything that leaves his mouth.

so then to the rest of the lyrics. brendon is asking ryan to wear him out (which I’m going with sexually cause everyone gets worn out after a sexual encounter, yeah?) wear me out, tire me out, make me sweat, yadda yadda. then he says ‘pleased to please ya’ which is very ,,, i wanna say cringey. this is why i said that brendon is beginning to think that ryan wasn’t so truthful. it’s almost like he doesn’t want to believe but he can’t outright deny the possibility. he’s saying that it makes him happy to please ryan. he puts out sexually because he thinks that that’s what’s keeping ryan around. he doesn’t want ryan to leave so he’ll do anything (sexually) to keep him interested in brendon. which, is really fucked up but, ya know. then he goes back to asking to be worn out (sexxxxxxx).

ALSO i would just like to point out that the music video is different just slightly. my sister came to me with almost tears in her eyes like ‘MANDELA AFFECT’ and it was trippy. in the music video he drops the ‘pleased to please ya’ and the second mona lisa which i don’t think was an accident. it’s HIS music video, why does he need to cut those like 5 seconds to make it shorter. that would have been done when originally recording the song. now, it’s already a single and it’s already popular. bands are more likely to lengthen a music video to add things in (talking, extra things that aren’t a song thing) rather than shorten it. so why? my only thought on that is since this came in v&v, after he’s already gone through the breakup, he feels ashamed at his actions. a slut? (no slutshaming, please don’t hurt me)

also, speaking of music videos, i wanna talk about how mona lisa in the video is portrayed as a child. this is something that i’ll talk about later too when mona lisa comes up in a different song (side eye emoji). but anyway, why? mona lisa in this song is portrayed as a love interest, why is she suddenly a child? kinda rape-y ya know? but this is my thought. we’re going with ryan has been lying, right? he’s been lying to brendon about his feelings and honestly, let’s talk about how literally everyone and their dog sees ryan as innocent. he’s got this little babyface and he smiles and everyone is like ‘awwww’. so that’s what brendon saw too, ya know? he sees this innocent man and he probably, when he first started doubting things was like, ‘come on, ryan wouldn’t lie, he’s too innocent’. and come on guys, children represent innocence through and through.

so i’ve saved the pre chorus and the chorus for last cause it always seems to flow better for me that way ?? i dunno. also it’s typically one of the last things you hear in a song so it just makes sense. heres the pre chorus

Say what you mean

Tell me I'm right

And let the sun rain down on me

Give me a sign

I want to believe

now this is really blunt. like i said, brendon is questioning things and i think this song is him expressing that he wants to know if his doubts are true or not. maybe he’s giving into the doubts a little more now, getting a little harder to ignore. he’s blunt. tell me what you want, is first. say what you mean, say the truth, tell him that he’s correct in thinking that it’s not real. and i know this can be taken as “tell me i’m right that you love me” but this song is really negative, honestly. it’s not a love song, he’s not asking for a confession of feelings. at first we took the point of ‘say i love you’ and my sister was talking about how the sun raining down on him is a sign of happiness. which, yes, i totally get that but like i said, this is not a love song. when we changed our thoughts on this to ‘tell me you never loved me’ i looked at it as a sign of freedom. he’s finally being proven right, his doubts are at ease because they’ve been proven. yes, brendon is sad because heartbreak fucking sucks but he doesn’t need to worry anymore which is also a relieving feeling. the light is positivity in a dark time. this is looking on the bright side when everything else sucks. but like i said, brendon was very much in love with ryan. while he’s starting to see that he’d been lied to, he doesn’t want to believe it. he wants to believe that ryan loved him and he’s fighting desperately to hold onto a rope that is frankly falling apart right before his eyes.

Whoa, Mona Lisa,

You're guaranteed to run this town

Whoa, Mona Lisa,

I'd pay to see you frown

so, as i said before, this is a callout to ryan. hey ryan, you’ve been running my feelings and this band. which is totally fucking true. pretty. odd. was not brendon’s choice in music, it was ryan’s. even fever was ryans idea. (even the lyrics my dudes. though not all of the lyrics are 100% ryans so fuck off with that shit). he was the one that wanted more of the beattle's aesthetic because guess who, after leaving panic, went on to write MORE music that was beattle’s ish. ryan fucking ross. brendon went back to his steampunk, heavy bass (thanks dallon) music. he’s always been a little more into that. (also pop and frank sinatra but ya know, whatever). then again, hey ryan, i want to see you frown. this line i am analyzing last because i think it’s meant to come last. the chorus is supposed to be the main thing in this song which would only make sense to have it come last. the verse’s lead up to it, you’d read them first but song structure and such. ALSO, EACH TIME, THIS COMES AFTER THE PRECHORUS AFTER HE’S ASKED TO BE PROVEN RIGHT, THANKS. each time, he’s saying he’d love to see ryan frown after ryan (hypothetically) had the chance to admit that he never loved brendon. i’m also going with that since ryan didn’t love brendon, his heart wasn’t in this. their little breakup won’t hurt ryan the way it tore brendon up. ryan could have shrugged this off and been unaffected by it. brendon wants to see him hurt the way he did.

There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

and then this line comes up a second time. it’s the actual end of the song, this is after brendon is realizing that ryan was full of shit. it’s revenge. he wants ryan to feel the pain that brendon did. he wants ryan’s heart to get torn out. it’s very angry, honestly but deserving almost? he’s already asked ryan to show him a little love and that probably didn’t go so well (cape town?) so now brendon is asking for ryan to get hurt.

savage.

#Panic at the Disco #patd #Panic! at the Disco #brendon #brendon urie #the ballad of mona lisa #ryan ross #ryan #dallon #dallon weekes #vices and virtues #vices & virtues #ryden #brallon #lyric analysis #analysis

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