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bluerose5 · 1 month

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Anders: You know what our camp needs?

Gale, amused: Does it rhyme with bat or rat by chance?

Anders: Look, all I'm saying is that we made room for the dog. We made room for the owlbear.

Gale: That, we did.

Anders: Would it be such a stretch to have a cat in camp? Come on! Just one. [Then, in a mumbled voice.] Or two. Maybe even three.

Gale: Anders...

Anders: Gale...

Gale: Is now really the best time to take on that added responsibility?

Anders: Now is the perfect time! You know, I expected this sort of resistance from the others but never from you.

Gale: Hey now, do we really need to go there? Weaponizing my love for a good feline companion against me?

Anders: To think that you once bragged to me about having a cat, but to deny my request for one... *shakes head* The utter betrayal.

Gale: Oh, come now.

Anders: Please?

Gale: Is this really—

Anders: 🥺

Gale: ...

Gale: Alright, fine.

Anders: Yes!

Gale, massaging his temple: Tara is going to kill me.

#baldurs gate 3 #dragon age #bg3 #da2 #gale dekarios #anders #gale x anders #ganders? what's the ship name fellas #anyways gale having a pair of beautiful brown eyes #does not make him immune to another pair of beautiful brown eyes #especially on a pathetic sopping wet bisexual man #crossover #ganders

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a-crochet-spider · 5 months

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Matthew Patel headcanons but I'm vaguely mean about it

I really do love him you guys I swear the brainrot is real

• Talks in all caps all the time. He does not know what the word chill means and he never intends to learn.

• Very expressive, especially with body language. Has hit people in the face because of his gesturing and doesn’t apologize.

• As he is a very intense person, his feelings towards people are also very intense, so he is either completely enamored with someone or hates their guts, no in between.

• Sure, he’s super over the top most of the time, but privately he’s the most pathetic sopping wet cat of a man you’ll ever have the (dis)pleasure of meeting.

• His music taste is evenly divided between musicals and 2000s emo music (it was not just a phase and he didn’t grow out of it). He also won't listen to anything else no matter how hard you try to make him.

• He likes Mindless Self Indulgence a lot

• He either dresses in suits or like a homeless teenager. Again, no in between.

• He knows how to knit but if you ever walk in on him doing it he will yell at you to leave (and maybe apologize later for yelling if he likes you).

• Feral bisexual, obviously.

• He’s a trophy husband for sure. He hated being a CEO, he hates working, he just wants to either put on his silly little musicals or stay home.

• He puts so much product in his hair to keep it the specific way he likes it. During the day it’s very crunchy.

• On the topic of personal hygiene, he is extremely on top of taking care himself. It takes him an hour to get ready to go anywhere. His eyeliner is put on with unbelievable care. He picks out most of his outfits with a very specific ideal in mind. He probably has a skin care routine.

• He probably smells nice too. He uses a normal cologne, but it’s probably wildly overpriced and smells really good.

• Quality time is his love language.

• He’s obviously extremely confident in himself but specifically when he knows he’s in charge. If there’s any doubt he will trip tf up.

• Probably knows how to cook. He can and will brag about this.

• Has had a Tumblr blog since middle school where he posts all of his theatre kid brainrot. Nobody knows about this except Ramona, who has graciously not told anyone yet.

• The LIGHTEST sleeper ever. The tiniest thing will wake him up. If you slightly nudge him while he’s asleep he wake up instantly.

• Only likes touch from specific people or if he initiates it first. Anything else results in someone getting physically injured.

• He is incapable of sitting like a normal person. He just bends himself in so many weird ways that he’ll end up taking up the whole sofa if he isn’t stopped.

#matthew patel #scott pilgram takes off #matthew patel headcanons

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hurtmionedanger · 5 months

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Hey bestie don't be shy

top 5 favorite podcast characters and why

YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK???? PICK BETWEEN MY BELOVED GUYS???????

I am going to try to diversify beyond the magnus archives, mostly because dbd has had me in a death choke recently

With that being said, in no particular order

1. The Obituary writer from Death by Dying

Hes such an icon, normal guy and yet so so so very weird, his best friend is the angel of death, his other best friend is in his freezer and her still beating heart is on his desk, everyone thinks he’s going to kill someone one of these days based on looks alone, he has a questionable taste in fashion, hes bisexual, he has three man eating cats, he solves murders just like as a hobby, he is the most sopping wet pathetic wet cat of a man you could ever hope to meet, he is silly, what more could you possibly want from a man?

2. Jonathan Jarchivist, see prior post about this man he is so ridiculous, mf ACCIDENTALLY STARTED THE APOCALYPSE, He has been kidnapped more then princess peach, he is the eyes special little boy, hes ASEXUAL LIKE ME FRFR, he has a boyfriend who loves him very much, he likes good cows, hot singles in his area want to hunt him for sport, hes the saddest little meow meow there could possibly be.

3. Timothy stoker, managed to convey he was wearing a hawaiian shirt by voice alone, also THIS MAN IS THE ARCHIVES BRAINCELL, THE SLUTTY BISEXUAL IS THE BRAINCELL HERE WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE ARCHIVES, BECAUSE SASHA VERY MUCH IS NOT THE BRAINCELL SHE FOLLOWED A DEFINITELY NOT HUMAN GUY TO A RANDOM GRAVEYARD WITH VERY LITTLE FOLLOW UP AS TO WHY SHE NEEDED TO GO, AND JON DOESNT HAVE IT FOR PREVIOUSLY STATED REASONS, AND MARTIN IS MARTIN, MEANING TIM IS THE ONLY BRAINCELL HERE. Also as my boyfriend can attest, i have a thing for angry men in hawaiian shirts, i think theyre hot

4. Not technically a Guy persay, but the beloved michael distortion for having a sick ass voice and an even sicker statement, shows up and just stabs the archivist just because he can, he is literally the embodiment of gaslighting gatekeeping and girlbossing and his design is very cool really regardless of how people draw him but ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DRAW HIM WITH LIKE SUPER DISTORTED JOINTS AND MULTIPLE FACES AND SHIT LIKE MMMMMMMMM, he gets bonus points for having excellent hair and not being a who but a what

Number five hhhh how do i pick between all of my beloved podcast guys, leaving out martin because i already screamed about Why i love Martin Knife Blackwood Already

5. Georgie Barker I think has to go here, maybe alongside helen and Melanie, i love them all for very different reasons but they are just such girlbosses, georgie just doesn’t feel fear, had an existential crisis so hard her brain stopped processing it, she is the girl ever, also shes jons ex, automatically getting her more points, she had a skin clown break into her apartment and fuck with her lights and the only reason she was upset was because it meant she had to replace all her lightbulbs, Also georgie has a podcast where she talks about ghosts, which is really funny to me, and i would absolutely listen to her podcast

Honorable mentions:

Helen for season 5 shenanigans of showing up whenever JMart were fighting because she wanted the Tea

Gerry Keay for his defining trait mentioned by every single statement giver who saw him being “Really shittily dyed hair” like imagine that being your legacy

#danger zone #asks #the magnus archives #death by dying

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