#elvis talks about hockey
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Things I like about the Leafs because let's embrace the good moments!
Steve. You know who he is. Just his happiness and enthusiasm. A goddam Canadian treasure.
Little Baby Kniesy.
Tavares's Kombucha tap (it's real look it up)
"It is me. Captain of your Toronto Maple Leafs. John Tavares. Today I will be showing you how to assemble Ikea furniture."
Carlton the Bear
Their weird secrecy about that horrible song
The blue side of the Justin Beiber Jersey
The St. Pats
Baby Mitch with his flag
Baby Johnny with his sheets
Feel free to elaborate because I love them right now
#elvis talks about hockey#toronto maple leafs#go leafs go#leafs forever#maple leafs#steve dangle#mathew knies#john tavares#carlton the bear#hall and oates#justin beiber#toronto st pats#mitch marner
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🦆🐺🏒 <3
🦆 If I were to make a summoning circle for you, what food could I summon you with?
So many things I could pick, but I'll go with Bibimbap bc it's like the perfect meal and it's delicious and back when I was living in a dorm I ate it almost every day lmao.
🐺 Build a NHL starting line up based on a really weird criteria for comedic effect.
Only Players With Diacritics!
Elvis Merzļikins
Määttä - Brännström
Slafkovský - Stützle - Pastrňák
🏒What was your first impression of hockey? Why? Has it changed? If so, why?
I guess my first impression was those 2012-14 era tumblr posts that would compare nationalities or talk about stereotypical things from different countries? So hockey to me always seemed like the quirky silly canadian sport (bagged milk, maple syrup, winter, eh?) equivalent to football here (US), but like I didn't really think about sports ever.
^ from my first game
Now it's like ... I get why people like sports. Hockey: It's fast, it's exciting, it's brutal, it's expensive. It's a bunch of huge sweaty toothless men wearing sweaters with armor underneath. It's a reality tv show with stakes and skill and violence that really wants you to gamble. It's fun!!!!
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Y’all. Guys. Oh no. I’ve done something bad.
Look, I may have just created the most chaotic Disney crossover idea in the history of time, but if this blows up like the Big 4, I want credit.
So. We’ve got Jack Jack, Lilo, Boo, Hiro, Miguel, Mei, Luca, Alberto, Riley. There are more, and I know that’s a lot, but bear with me.
College AU.
Look, Hiro’s done, but he wanted to stay and teach/ use the lab whenever. Jack Jack’s parents want him to get a good education. Miguel is on tour with his music. Lilo and Boo are best friends, bonding over their monster/ alien dudes. Mei’s after a brilliant education herself. Luca wanted to go to school and Alberto couldn’t say no to him. Riley lives in the area.
They end up at San Fran Sokyo Uni, in the same dorm hallway.
Now, they don’t get along great at first. Riley’s used to living in a compact space, Miguel is used to being surrounded by family = no boundaries, Jack Jack is ADHD as fuck and is also a superhero who keeps getting blood all over the carpets in the middle of the night when he gets home from patrol. Lilo feeds peanut butter sandwiches to fish, for void’s sake.
After some rearranging, though, they get settled. That’s how they all meet.
It’s indescribably chaotic. Mei and Riley live together, their dorm room nice and organized and perfect. For their trustworthiness, Jack Jack lives with them as well (he’s ace dw. Also, he doesn’t tell them he’s a hero at first. That was a shitshow). Their apartment is a mix of hockey and Asian culture. There’s a family shrine in Mei’s room, and there’s a mini goal set up in the corner of the living room. Jack Jack’s stuff is kind of everywhere, but he makes up for it by doing dishes every night XD.
Lilo and Boo live with Stitch and a baby monster that accidentally wandered through their door on a field trip to Monsters Inc. Their apartment is pretty aesthetic but also messy. Even though it’s freezing and frankly nasty, Lilo swims and sometimes surfs in the bay, but she drives out to an actual coast (later with the whole friend group) on weekends. Boo LOVES the aliens and is on Lilo’s deep space podcast, a tribute to Elvis.
Miguel, Hiro, Luca, and Alberto live in an apartment together. Because how bad can a bunch of gay/ bi idiots living in one place be? There’s dirty laundry everywhere. The dishes don’t get done unless Mei happens to come over and yells at them for it. Trash from the fish boys, half-finished projects and scraps from Hiro, and scribbly sheet music from Miguel are everywhere. Baymax makes them take care of themselves tho; it’s fiiine :DD
Extra headcanons (SOMEONE PLEASE ASK ME FOR MORE ON THIS AU I COULD TALK FOREVER):
Not a single one of them is straight
They all become at least some part of a hero team later on- once Hiro and Jack Jack tell them all what’s going on, they either join in or agree to help sometimes
(Mei is a super panda, Lilo and Boo take their warrior pets into battle, fish demons, etc)
Once they’re comfortable enough with each other, they start visiting each other’s homes because they’re so diverse
Hawaii was awesome!! Lilo taught everyone how to surf as Luca and Alberto meet the wildlife below. Nani loves them all, but David’s favorite is Jack Jack
Mei shows them all Chinese-Canadian culture, but mostly the Chinese part lol. They get to meet her gf, Miri, and she takes them to 4town. They hate it, but she seems happy
Riley takes them all skating on the pond in her old backyard. Miguel and the fish boys, who have never been anywhere cold in their lives, are miserable. Really the only one who’s fine is Mei lmao. They all try broccoli pizza, and Luca and Alberto actually like it
Jack Jack’s family make it their life goal while they’re visiting to be as embarrassing as possible. Helen and Bob BOTH have to DRIVE THEM everywhere, Dash doesn’t stop talking about Fortnite for a single fucking second, and Violet actively makes out with Tony on the living room couch. You know who they love? Auntie Edna. Edna gains many more nieces and nephews that trip- she takes a special liking to Hiro, although she does criticize the ineffectiveness of his armor
Italy is warm and full of freaking mermaids and Vespa’s and gelato and it’s fucking awesome. Everyone falls in love with the food (obviously). Giulia just… gets used to adopting strange losers by this point.
Mexico is GREAT. Their trip happened to fall near Día de los Muertos, so guess where Miguel took them!! Maybe it meant stealing from the ofrenda, but… in their defense, they put it back. (Before you ask, yes, Tadashi was there. It’s a personal belief of mine that there are different sections to the Land for different cultures’ afterlives. Like all the gateways go to the same realm, just different parts of it.) Stitch and Dante wrestled the entire time XD
Edit: GUYS OH NO I FORGOT TO ADD VANELLOPE BUT SHE’S INCLUDED
#Coco#big hero six#bh6#luca#disney#pixar#crossover#lilo and stitch#The incredibles#incredibles#monsters inc#Turning red#inside out
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happiness, briss/bords
married agents universe.
“Fun fact: over the last couple of months, every time a friend of mine or a member of my family would ask me how the writing of my vows was going, they would look at me very warily after I answered that everything was going according to plan. Like no one would want to trust me with this, I really don’t understand why.”
The joke causes laughs to rise inside the room and Brendan takes a moment to survey the faces of the people he loves. His dad is looking very serious and his mom has her eyes bright, hands clutching her purse on her lap. Brendan doesn’t wink to them but he does smile extra hard before continuing.
“And I know no one worried about Thom because Thom is the one good with words in this relationship. It’s something that I won’t ever dispute but is still very funny to me because he could barely string together 5 words of English when we first met. Granted, he wasn’t even a teenager and my French was even worse but I won’t forget. I’m pretty sure I already found his accent cute back then, so.”
Another laugh among the audience, softer this time, accompanied by a choral of aws. Thom’s shaking his head slowly, smile too high on his cheeks. Brendan squeezes their hands where their fingers are laced together in between them. He then takes a deep breath, wills his brain to focus on the remainder of his speech.
“Anyway, back to the true matter at hand here. Truth be told, I initially wasn’t sure which direction to go with. I googled the Top 10 pieces of advice on how to write the perfect wedding vows but I think the only good thing I got from the internet was Trust yourself with your words. I know people love to talk about first times; first time they met their loved one, first kiss, the moment they realized they were in love. I barely remember the first time I met Thom because we were still kids. Our first kiss was messy and I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I knew I was in love with him because do you really expect dumb 20 years old hockey players to understand anything about feelings? Yeah, I know. But even though it may sound like I’m painting a terrible picture out here, I swear I wouldn’t have it any other way because we made it work our way, which made it just perfect. It’s never been easy because I’m probably the last guy someone would pick to have a long-distance relationship with but we figured it out, downloaded the apps, set the Skype dates and the calls and the stupid postcards now hanging on our fridge or in our offices. There were a lot of misses and fights and sad parts but I never doubted we would make it. I loved him way too hard for this to fail. And I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual.”
It’s Thom’s turn to clamp down on his palms, hard. The light from above is making his eyes shine and Thom said he would kill Brendan if he made him cry at the altar but it’s not Brendan’s fault if Thom is a sentimental guy and he’s sure he can find a more fitting and agreeable punishment if he does break the promise that he didn’t really make (sorry babe, I know you, can’t bet against myself there).
“We could have gotten married so much sooner. The fact that I played in Las Vegas for several years and never got Elvis to tie us together is an honest miracle that my Dad probably prayed for every single day I was living there.”
This time, Brendan can identify Matty’s big booming laugh and he allows himself a glance at the UMich section of the room. Owen towering over everyone even while seated, Kent tucked by his side, Trusc with the biggest smile, everyone else looking so happy to be here.
Thom’s thumb rubs over his knuckles and Brendan can feel his heart beating really hard behind his ribcage. Maybe just maybe Brendan is starting to feel emotional too.
“It took the end of our careers to finally be able to settle together in the same city and working with Thom over the last two years is the best thing I could have asked for in my retirement. We never needed rings for Thom to call me his and vice-versa but considering he’s been the main reason for my happiness over the last two decades, I truly can’t wait to be able to call him my husband.”
send me a word + a pairing and I'll write a little something.
#brendan brisson#thomas bordeleau#1934#hockey rpf#prompt fill#1934 married agents#very sorry about the delay#didn't mean to write 800 sappy words but here we go#i love this universe very dearly#maybe not very smart of me to ask for more when i already have a couple to do but oops#i managed to tackle all the previous meaningful gestures asks so
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Thursday, December 07, 2023 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)
This Video Not Available in Your Country: Thursday Canadian Lineup (Times Eastern):
WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?:
THE BLACK HAMPTONS (BET +)
ARCHIE (BritBox)
THE ENVOYS (Paramount +)
THE LOVERS (Sundance Now/AMC+)
CHRISTMAS AT THE OPRY (Global) 8:00pm
TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT (W Network) 8:00pm
SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY (Slice) 10:00pm
WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT:
SILENT NIGHT, FATAL NIGHT (Premiering on December 09 on Lifetime Canada at 8:00pm)
THE MISSION (TBD - Nat Geo Canada)
NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:
CBC GEM
KID SISTER (Season 2)
NETFLIX CANADA
ANALOG SQUAD (TH)
THE ARCHIES (IN)
HILDA (Season 3)
I HATE CHRISTMAS (Season 2) (IT)
HIGH TIDES (BE)
MY LIFE WITH THE WALTER BOYS
NAGA (SA)
WORLD WAR II: FROM THE FRONTLINES (GB)
NHL HOCKEY
(SN) 7:00pm: Sabres vs. Bruins
(TSN2) 7:00pm: Kings vs. Habs
(TSN4/TSN5) 7:00pm: Leafs vs. Sens
(TSN3) 9:00pm: Jets vs. Avalanche
(SNWest) 9:00pm: Hurricanes vs. Flames
(SNPacific) 10:00pm: Wild vs. Canucks
STARS ON ICE - KURT'S FINAL TOUR 2023 (CBC) 8:00pm: A star-studded cast, including Patrick Chan and Elvis Stojko, pay tribute to Canadian legend Kurt Browning.
NFL FOOTBALL (TSN) 8:15pm: Patriots vs. Steelers
BARBARA KNOX AT 90 (CBC) 9:00pm: Celebrating Barbara Knox's 90th birthday; a chance to see the real Barbara away from the lights of the "Corrie" set.
AUSSIE GOLD HUNTERS (Discovery Canada) 9:00pm
STAY TOONED (Documentary) 9:00pm/9:30pm/10:00pm/10:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Eric talks with Ben Schwartz, Angelo Muredda and Lake Bell about the good of being bad and ugly. In Episode Two, Eric talks with Russell Peters, Selma Purac, and Lauren Faust about cartoons and consumerism. In Episode Three, Eric talks with James Adomian, Nic Sammond and Noelle Stevenson about queerness in cartoons. In Episode Four, Eric talks with Bobby Moynihan, Natalie Coulter, and Elamin Abdelmahmoud about PSAs and moral messaging on Saturday mornings.
CANADA'S DRAG RACE (Crave) 9:00pm
OUTBACK OPAL HUNTERS (Discovery Canada) 10:00pm: The Misfits prove their worth to Opal Joe with an ancient bulldozer on their last dig; the Opal Whisperers suffer from infighting; the Cheals race against the clock and seasonal storms to rescue their mission.
CANADIAN REFLECTIONS (CBC) 11:30pm: Tabanca; Hatha
#cndtv#cancon#canadian tv#canadian tv listings#aussie gold hunters#canada's drag race#outback opal hunters#canadian reflections#nhl hockey#nfl football
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27.11. 23:01 | Ilo Pisara vs KPC HT 7 - 2
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let's talk about the hockey spectacle that just unfolded before our very eyes. Ilo Pisara has once again shown why they're the team to beat with a resounding 7-2 victory! But hold your applause; it seems like KPC HT couldn't handle the heat on ice and decided to make like Elvis and leave the building early!
First off, hats off to Konsta Terde – if scoring goals were as easy as he makes it look, we'd all be NHL stars sipping champagne from Lord Stanley's Cup. Four goals? That’s not a hat trick; that’s a whole haberdashery! And those assists? He was dishing out more helpers than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve.
Teppo Winnipeg might not have lit up the goal lamp himself but three assists is nothing to scoff at. The man was passing pucks with such precision you’d think they had GPS trackers attached.
Now onto Jani Saari - sniping three past their goalie who probably wished he could've called in sick today. With hands silkier than Egyptian cotton sheets, this guy turned defensemen into traffic cones!
And Yuri Tarde between pipes... well buddy, two got by you but hey – nobody's perfect except maybe Teppo’s hairdo or Konsta’s shot accuracy tonight.
Let me tell ya something about quitting games: It leaves a worse taste in my mouth than expired milk—and trust me folks—I know bad tastes. So here's raising an eyebrow at KPC HT for bailing faster than rats from a sinking ship.
Remember lads: We skate together next game because there ain’t no 'I' in team—but there sure is one big WIN in Ilo Pisara! Keep grinding those edges because glory waits for no one—except us apparently when teams decide they’ve had enough of our winning ways mid-game!
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i was tagged by the great @ it-spork
1. Are you named after anyone?
my full name is Katherine Anne. my first name comes from a great grandmothers name (can’t remember if its on my dad or my moms side) and my middle name is the shortened version of my moms middle name (Annette).
2. When was the last time you cried?
last night. saw a sad tik tok edit about elvis with his cover of unchained melody as the audio. instant tears in my eyes.
3. Do you have kids?
NOPE HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD 🙌🏼🙌🏼#beatteenpregnancy #fuckthemkids #godisgood
4. Do you sarcasm a lot?
i eat, sleep, breathe, and bleed sarcasm. so not really ig 🤷🏼♀️
5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Girls- eyes, smile, and outfit; Boys- smile, eyes, and hair (in those orders).
6. What’s your eye color?
a greyish blue but sometimes they turn an icy blue.
7. Scary movies or happy endings?
happy endings 80% of the time, but scary movies during the whole month of october only.
8. Any special talents?
im fluent in spanish and have been since ive been able to speak full sentences.
if that doesn’t count then idk if i do. probably not.
9. What are your hobbies?
listening to music, reading, eating, sleeping, falling for men who wont like me back, hitting parts of my body on anything i can see or touch, whoring out over miles teller, watching elvis + top gun edits on tik tok
10. Where were you born?
Texas 🤠
11. Do you have any pets?
i have 4 cats and one family dog that thinks my cats heads are chew toys.
12. What sports do you play/have you played?
oh lawd..
ok i played soccer, tennis and did competitive swimming from age 5 to age 12, i did softball from my sophomore to senior year (minus half of junior year bc of Corona) of high school, i will play football occasionally, i used to play basketball from age 6 to age 8. i did gymnastics from age 7 to age 9, i did horseback riding from age 8 to age 12 and i played a little bit of volleyball somewhere in there. oh and i can surf, sorta.
13. How tall are you?
i am 5’8 so 172.72 cm
14. Favorite subject in school?
spanish, but i was also really good at history, geometry, english and lunch. spanish was just the easiest for me (even tho its my second language)
15. Dream job?
sports broadcaster/journalist for ESPN/Fox Sports. seeing as how jam packed my childhood was with sports it only makes sense imo 💀 but no ive always loved sports (obviously) and im currently like in love with hockey and sometimes nfl and mlb. i will talk about either one any day all day it doesn’t matter.
im not gonna tag anyone but whoever wants to do this feel free to!
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So,
Cora was calling me. Cora never called me.
It was November 2007, and I was just finishing a sushi dinner with my friend Katie when my phone buzzed from the inside pocket of my newly purchased peacoat. I was walking to my scooter Elvis and the evening wind was deliciously salty. I loved downtown Victoria, and had been counting my blessings ever since starting the creative writing program a couple of months earlier. One of the best things about the experience was partying with a young woman I considered my pseudo-wife named Jen Tucker.
I’d never met anyone like her before. Originally I’d dated her lifeguard older sister, but things had soured in an epic fashion. She wasn’t impressed that I had glommed on to Jen afterwards, but there was something about her that was intoxicating. She kind of reminded me of my little sister Ashley, but crasser. She liked to swear, talk about sex, and make fun of people. We bombed around the city with her perched on the back, squeezing my sides between her ultra-athletic legs. She was a fucking bomb shell, but she was also off-limits — she’d been very clear about that when we first started hanging out.
One day a cop pulled us over because we only had one helmet, which Jen was wearing. I was flying free, bare-headed Thailand-style, and I liked the feeling of freedom that came with the wind whipping through my dangling blond curls.
“Well, at least you’re a gentleman,” he said, as he handed me the ticket.
Jen lived in cluster housing at UVic, while I lived off-campus. Three or four nights a week I would sleep over in the living room, while Jen was down the hall with her three roommates. They’d all learned to tolerate me like they would a rambunctious pet that Jen led around on a leash. I’m not sure they particularly liked me, and they were quickly getting sick of Jen.
“Will?” Cora said. “Where are you right now?”
“I’m downtown. Just had sushi. Why? What’s up?”
She sighed, and then I heard a scream in the background. “You’ve got to come get Jen. She’s gone crazy or something.”
“Crazy?”
“She got really drunk and she started screaming at everybody and now she’s breaking shit. Like we’re going to call the cops cuz she’s being a nightmare. She keeps asking for you.”
I blinked, pausing in the street alarmed. “Is she okay?”
“She’s okay, I just think you need to come get her before things get worse. She just broke a mirror and there’s glass all over the ground. I’m fucking bleeding. Can you come?”
I went into go mode. “Of course, yeah. I’m like 15 minutes away. I’ll be right there, okay? Just keep her corralled.”
Jen didn’t like hearing advice, and revelled in being a shit disturber. This was a trait that I found endearing and everyone else found really goddamn annoying. You could never tell her what to do, never convince her she was wrong, never coax her into course correction. She liked doing things the wrong way, like Sublime, because that was her way. Her jet-black hair reflected her rebel heart and you got the sense that she was always one moment away from violence.
I pushed my little scooter to the extreme as I flew down Fort Street and then Shelbourne, cutting across a lawn as I headed towards UVic Housing. I was sweating and worried, swearing under my breath as I tried to get my scooter to go just a little bit faster. I had the sense that Jen was in real danger, and the lifeguard in me was swimming to her rescue.
“Oh, thank God,” said her roommate Lindsay, when I opened the door. Music was pumping down the hallway and I could hear feral screams through the walls. “I think she’s going to kill somebody.”
I nodded seriously. “Let’s get this sorted before the security guards show up.”
Lindsay sighed. “Honestly? Just get her the fuck out of here.”
When I finally beheld my little wife, coming around the corner ululating with her smoker’s rasp, she was wearing a leopard print bikini and a pair of Uggs. She was wielding a field hockey stick with both hands and had a crazed look in her eyes like a Japanese samurai. I held out my hands like I was talking to a bucking horse.
“Jen, it’s okay,” I said. “Everything’s okay.”
“These fucking bitches were trying to turn off my music,” she snorted.
“Nobody wants to turn off your music. We just think you should get dressed and come with me.”
“Come with you where?”
“You can come over to my place. You can sleep there, in my bed, if you want. You don’t have to deal with these girls anymore.”
“These bitches.”
“Right, you can just come with me and everything will be okay. Okay? Okay?”
Eventually I calmed her down enough that Cora could help her put on clothes. Together with Lindsay they packed her an overnight bag and talked to her in hushed voices, still fearful. I stood there with my giant motorcycle helmet, looking out the window cautiously in fear that campus security would show up and make everything worse.
Twenty minutes later I pulled out on to Mckenzie, and with Jen’s arms tightly wrapped around me we coasted through the cold darkness. Looming arbutus trees whipped by on either side of us. It didn’t matter that we weren’t dating, that we’d never had sex — I was in love with Jen in a way I’d never been with anyone else. I was completely dedicated to her. She was like a giant barking black dog.
By the time we got to my house, all my roommates were asleep so we slipped into my bedroom. Jen was still muttering about “bitches” as I pushed her into my bed, pulled up the covers, and put my hand to the side of her face. I wanted her to know that I accepted her no matter how violent and crazy and fucked up she was. In fact, I loved her more because of it.
“Will you stay in here for a bit?” she asked. I couldn’t see her because the light was turned off. “Like could you stay with me?”
“Of course.”
I pulled back the cover and climbed in beside her. It reminded me of the time she’d sat on my lap when we’d gone to a sex shop on Granville Street in Vancouver to see the peep show, after dine and dashing from a pub across the street and breaking beer bottles in the street. There was an innocence to our intimacy that was hard to describe, but it felt similar to having a baby. She was my little sister, my wife, my love. As I crawled in, she curled up to my chest and began to cry. First little hiccups of sadness, then giant gulping gurgles of mourning. I didn’t know what she was so upset about, but I patted her hair and told her that everything would be fine.
A few minutes later she was asleep.
The Literary Goon
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345 - Colorado's Cup, Vancouver's Hall of Fame
Contribute to the PON Mailbag,
send us an email to [email protected]
The Colorado Avalanche win their third Stanley Cup, but most importantly, Nathan MacKinnon finally wins his first.
Geeta, Arash and Ryan get together in the midst of a west coast heatwave to break down the Av's defeating the Bolts in six games. They look at the key injuries Tampa faced, how well Colorado is constructed and Mackinnon's wish for Sidney Crosby to be drunk at his Stanley Cup party.
They also discuss the Vancouver Canucks' upcoming offseason as well as the team taking over the Hockey Hall of Fame with Daniel and Henrik Sedin as well as Roberto Luongo going in on their first ballots!
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Support the show on Patreon! Pledge a coupla bucks ($5+) for access to our bonus content: video podcasts, our new "Offseason Canucks Wish List" bonus episodes and our weekly ' 5 Minutes For Paying'. On this week's segment: Arash talks about his busy weekend flipping pizzas, the gang discusses the faux Buzz Lightyear controversy and Ryan sees the new Elvis movie with his dad.
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So... Steve seems to be doing well
#elvis talks about hockey#steve dangle#toronto maple leafs#go leafs go#stanley cup playoffs#leafs#leafs forever#leafs vs lightning
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what is it about goalies that leads to the "goalies are weird" thing? do weird personalities lend themselves to the job? are they actually that weird? does it have something to do with the unpredictability of the position? (take this in whatever direction you want really--you seem to know a lot about this kind of thing so i'm interested in reading your thoughts!)
okay, so i think a lot of factors are actually at play here. consider the following:
hockey players, as a whole, are a really superstitious group of people. even forwards have a lot of weird lil rituals and habits that they do to make themselves feel better about the game (see the guys who always have to be the last one off the ice at warmups and the games they play with each other to make that happen). this goes doubly so for goalies it seems (i will do a little list of some goalie superstitions i really like).
when you’re a forward, you’re one of three guys on the ice doing the same thing for your team at any given time. when you’re a defenseman, you’re one of two guys on the ice doing the same thing for your team at any given time. when you’re a goalie, you’re the only one. and the other guys on the team get line changes, but when you’re the goalie? it’s just you, for 60 min a night.
consider this: it’s just you, for 60 min a night, and (at least in the nhl) playing in front of like 15,000 to 25,000 people.
when you screw up as a forward, a defenseman is hopefully there to cover up your screwup. if the defenseman screws up, the goalie is hopefully there to cover up the screwup. if the goalie screws up? the goal light goes off and those same 25,000 people see a point against their team that you appear to be solely responsible for.
every night you play, 6′+ tall 200 lb men are firing vulcanized rubber disks at your head and body anywhere from 75 mph to 100+ mph a shot. you’re catching those disks in your hands, blocking them with your helmet, or using your body to do it. sometimes you’re doing a split. sometimes you’re just throwing yourself at them. these same giant men are occasionally crashing into you at high speeds while you’re a relatively stationary target.
so like... just by nature of the position, you can gather that playing goal is like: a very heavy mental responsibility. it’s the position that i think is most visibly responsible for the team’s losses, and you can see how fans of a team and the press will absolutely tear into goalies during rough streaks (rip to most philadelphia goaltenders). and to get to the nhl level i think you also have to be a pretty strict perfectionist and very hard on yourself, so the mental toll you put on yourself for those losses has gotta be pretty tough to deal with. listen to almost any interview with goalies and they will talk about how hard it is to cope with very bad games, although they all have different ways of coping. carter hart meditates and does a lot of mindfulness exercises and tries to focus on only the moment that he’s responsible for right then; elvis merlizkins has said that while he used to get down on himself for losses he simply does not have the time to do that in the nhl.
i think this quote from kevin constantine, a former goalie and current head coach (he coached the silvertips for a while and is currently working in korea) is a really good summary about whether it’s nature or nurture that goalies are weird:
"When I grew up the saying was, 'Go to the playground and find the weirdest kid and that kid can probably be your goalie, because goalies are weird,'" Constantine said. "And then as I went through being a goalie, observing the goalies, being part of the fraternity, I don't think it's that at all. I think we take very normal athletes and we make them a goalie, and the process of doing that makes you weird. It makes you different."
"You don't get to come back to the bench and talk about how things are going [in the game]. You're just isolated and that willing(ness) to go in harm's way and the isolation you play with, I think if you do that repetitively you become a bit of a strange duck. So yeah, goalies are a little weird."
[x]
it’s a really tough position to play. there’s a reason that goalies like carter hart (i.e., coming into the league at like 20 years old and having very solid professional seasons without much of a regression) are rare and that goalies like jordan binnington (coming into the league at approximately 25 years old and still calder eligible, having some regressions) are more common. beyond the inherent athleticism required in having to do splits and lunge and catch, you gotta be aware of where a tiny puck is amidst a shitload of chaos going on in front of you/screening you/ guys jabbing at you. you have to be aware of what’s going on at all times, even if it’s not in your zone. even if you’re not actively playing, you always have to be on. for 60 min a night, wearing a shitload of heavy pads. (have to take shit, per that last reblog? tough luck.)
there is something to be said about the isolation. you have your backup and your goalie coach, but it’s not the same as the camaraderie the forwards or the defensemen have. you’re one of like two guys on the team that can do what you do and it probably seems slightly magical to the rest of the team.
i also think it’s like very much a mental game (both the stress and what you have to do to prepare). i’ve read a lot about the training that goalies do in addition to their own ice work and it’s frankly pretty bonkers. like carter has an entire visual training/eye tracking program on his ipad and a lot of them do some kind of program like this or talk to a coach especially for that aspect of the game; similarly, a lot of goalies specifically talk to sports psychologists to manage the stress of a game-to-game.
you probably have to be a pretty odd duck, ballsy sort of person to be like “yeah i wanna be the last line of defense for my team” in the first place (or a younger brother because tbh out of many nhl brother pairings it seems like the goalie is always the younger one and got forced into doing it as a child) but that the process of learning how to deal with the ins and outs of the position also makes you a little bonkers.
and if you want evidence of “are goalies weird?” please watch literally any video of ilya bryzgalov talking about like....... anything. some of them are more visibly weird than others (again, see ilya bryzgalov and “the universe is so humongous big” and “is just game, why you have to be mad?”) but most of them are like. pretty weird in more quiet ways. again, literally any interview with or about carter hart (my favorite was him getting made fun of as a small child for constantly going around telling people he wanted to be better than carey price...)
anyway here are a few goalie superstitions/habits that i particularly like although most of them are older (if you have any more modern anecdotes feel free to share):
patrick roy liked to talk to the goal posts because they were “his friends,” he would also refuse to actually step on any of the lines
glenn hall would make himself throw up before every because he felt he played better if he was physically ill beforehand
eddie belfour would lose his shit if a teammate touched his equipment pregame (like threaten to kill them lose his shit)
pelle lindbergh wore the same orange t-shirt for each game and refused to wash or sew it if it was torn and he’d only drink the same drink with two ice cubes from a specific trainer from the right hand during intermissions
ron hextall was the one who really started the banging the posts with his stick thing
ron tugnutt had this whole routine, like figure eight in the crease, abrupt turn into a crouch, 20 feet from crease....... like it goes on. there was probably like ten steps to his whole Thing
a lot of goalies will not even talk to reporters about their superstitions because they’re so superstitious about them
there was one goalie whose name i can’t remember who used to dye his hair blond before games
there are a bunch of goalies who can’t stand having the opposing team put pucks in the net during warmups to the point where they will push the nets out of the crease and turn them over to prevent it from happening.
anyway in summary: while some odd characters may gravitate towards the position, even if you’re not a weirdo when you start, you’ll probably be a weirdo by the time you finish. it’s a tough position to play and it’s a lot of stress and responsibility. how people cope with that emerges in varying ways, some of them Odd.
(thank you for asking this question i LOVE to talk about goalies and i tried to explore some of this in my fic writing but it’s nice to talk about it on main too).
#goalies#goalies are weird#honestly i love goalies...... you are odd animals but i respect u#Anonymous#questions#also more power to you if you read all of that#one of the main characters in my original books is a goalie and i had a lot of fun writing him#goalies being goalies#ari's opinions on hockey
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Happy National Boyfriend Day to my fav hockey boys🎉. Every year, I highlight my favorite band members (i used to post about this on insta but i stopped and ya girl has never had a boyfriend) on this day and this year I’m going to highlight hockey players. (I know my chances of actually dating a hockey boy is super unlikely but it’s fun to talk about them).
Without further ado, in no particular order, here’s a list of hockey boys that are currently living rent free in my head/some of which, I would possibly take home to meet my family if I could:
-Carter Hart (THIS BOY RIGHT HERE IS MY CINNAMON APPLE, MY CREAM CHEESE CUTIE. HE’S TALL, HIS EYES ARE NICE, HE WORKS HARD, HE WATCHES FOOD NETWORK AND I JUST LOVE HOW HE’S SO HUMBLE AND SIMPLE AND HE GIVES BACK TO OTHERS LIKE THAT’S SO HOT AND HE’S SUCH A CUTIE)
-Vince Dunn (He may flex his wealth on us but I love the fact that he gives back to others and that he RESPECTS WOMEN and loves his mom, SUCH A CUTIE) (unrelated note: i can’t stand the goalie for the blues because he’s a douchey person but i like Vince)
-Andre Burakovsky (I think a lot about that video of him golfing at Top Golf, you know the one and also about him holding a baby in his Caps jersey. Also, this gif set is so cute)
-Quinn Hughes (Not gonna lie, I was a Jack girl at first but then I converted over to the SUPERIOR Hughes brother. Huggy bear is such a cute nickname and I want to embrace him in a hug. Also, we’re super close in age. Like Quinn is only a month older than me)
-Elias Pettersson (He’s moving in after seeing him in glasses and reading about how he advocated for his friends who were refugees. Also, he will always deserve the Calder over *redacted*)
-Mat Barzal (wears a chain, speed skater, the first guy I read fic for on here and will continue to read fic for. SUCH A CUTIE.)
-Anthony Beauviller (He has such beautiful eyes, he can bake and I wouldn’t mind raising a dog with him)
-Tyler Seguin (my favorite hockey himbo. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be on this side of tumblr)
-Jason Dickinson (moved in during playoffs and definitely stayed after kneeling during the anthem)
-Nolan Patrick (a rosy cheeked cutie. I love his friendship with TK, it makes me smile so much. I prefer him with short hair but long hair works for him)
Honorable Mentions because I reached my image limit:
-Travis Konecny (I love TK and his chaotic energy and I also love his iconic chirps and his friendship with Nolan.)
-Pierre Luc-Dubois (he’s anti-Trump, he’s basically a fridge and I wouldn’t mind raising a dog with him as well)
-Elvis Merzlikins (He just moved in a few days ago and I don’t know much about him besides the fact that he’s cute and has a adorable dog)
-Jake Oettinger (moved in during playoffs and he’s basically like the Stars version of Carter Hart. Also, he has the cutest nickname, Otter)
-Brock Boeser (yes, I know about the post and I’m upset about it. He just moved in last month and he listens to One Direction)
-Tyson Jost (loves his mom and that’s so cute)
-Ryan Graves (He’s also a giraffe who reads anti-racism books so)
-Mikko Rantanen (just moved in last month after seeing how thicc he is in shorts and I read a really good fic with him in it)
-Phil Myers (is a giraffe and wears a chain so)
-Joel Farabee and Morgan Frost (they moved in at the beginning of my hockey journey but I haven’t seen much about them or from them on here)
-Andrei Svechnikov (He moved in during playoffs after I saw him in a suit and we’re super close in age)
-Mitch Marner (He moved in the beginning but I don’t keep up with him as much as I used to but he’s still on the radar)
-Gritty (STRAIGHT UP PURE CHAOS THAT I’M HERE FOR)
#carter hart#vince dunn#andre burakovsky#quinn hughes#elias pettersson#mat barzal#anthony beauvillier#tyler seguin#jason dickinson#nolan patrick#travis konecny#pierre luc dubois#jake oettinger#brock boeser#mikko rantanen#tyson jost#philippe myers#joel farabee#morgan frost#andrei svechnikov#elvis merzlikins#mitch marner#philadelphia flyers#st louis blues#colorado avalanche#vancouver canucks#ny islanders#dallas stars#carolina hurricanes#columbus blue jackets
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4 Times Fate Brought You Together +1 Time You Met Him on Purpose | Ryder Donovan
Thanks for being patient! What’s your favorite part/line? My fav line is in the tags.
*** FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED ***
Words: 8.4k
Brewers Game
You and your group of friends were the worst at actually making plans, preferring to be spontaneous and see where the days took you. Today’s adventure included deciding to attend a Brewers game an hour before it started. Seeing as how Miller Park was a little over an hour away, there was no time to debate the idea if you wanted to make it there before the second inning. At the time, it had seemed like perfect timing, a great idea.
Now, however as you stood on the crowded patio, the only tickets left for today’s sold out game, you were rethinking the whole plan. While you were a fan of the game and an even bigger fan of Christian Yelich, the blisters on your feet from standing in flip flops were not making the experience worth it. Luckily, your friends had volunteered to scour the stadium for some neglected seats. That left you standing against the railing, nursing a beer and rolling your eyes at the very obnoxious group a couple tables over.
Glancing over your shoulder with a dirty look on your face was a mistake as you realized who that group was: a majority of the Wisconsin hockey team. Your eyes widened and you quickly turned your head back to the game, but your actions hadn’t gone unnoticed by a certain blonde.
“Guys, maybe we should cool it a bit. We’re getting looks”, he tried.
“Who’s giving us looks? I’ll fight ‘em”, Mike called a bit too loud.
Your eyes on the field, you felt your face flush as his voice easily carried over to your direction. You hated confrontation and you had a feeling you were about to get one. Hoping to avoid it and trying to look innocent, you pulled your phone from your back pocket and sent an sos text to your friend, alerting her of who else was in your presence and asking how much longer she’d be gone to find seats.
You heard a “dude!” and the sound of a smack and you couldn’t help but giggle a little as who you assumed was the boy who yelled was getting reprimanded. Mike was his name and he was apparently not as drunk as he was acting, as he spied your shoulders shaking, his eyes narrowing in on the person who had gotten him thwacked by Ryder.
“Hey!” He hollered. You froze.
“Yeah, you, Yelich shirt!” And though that could have applied to ¾ of the people there, you knew he was referring to yourself. It was time to face the music so you slowly turned toward the hollering boy with your eyebrows raised.
The shit eating grin you were met with spelled trouble and you braved yourself for whatever it was he had to say next. “My friend, here,” he says grabbing Ryder and roughing his shoulder, “says he has a major crush on you. Like big time. Won’t stop staring at ya. Isn’t that right, Dono?” The blush that took over your face surely matches Ryder’s, who’s staring at you with wide, apologetic eyes. Meanwhile the boys are snickering at Mike embarrassing their friend in front of a girl.
“Really? Why don’t you tell him to come over and tell me himself? I couldn’t hear him over your loud mouth”, you retort. And with that you turn back around, heart beating in your ears, definitely not focusing on the game anymore. The noise level in the stadium raises three decibels as the guys hoot and holler at your chirp.
--
Not too much time passes before you feel a tap on your shoulder. You begin to sigh as you turn again, can a girl not watch a baseball game in peace anymore? But you suck in a breath when you see the nervous boy in front of you. His one hand is stuffed in his pocket, the other rubbing at the back of his neck and he’s shifting his weight from side to side. Despite the butterflies in your stomach, you can’t help but give him a little smirk.
“Ok you need to chill, you’re making me nervous”, you chirp, gesturing with your hands at his nervous fidgeting. He drops his hand and pauses his rocking with a grin on his face, seeming to relax a little.
“Well you see, you just completely killed my teammate back there and I’m kind of nervous you're going to roast me the same,” he says, thumb jutting back to where he came from. You peer around his tall frame and see his teammates staring at the two of you, well his back mostly, on the edges of their seats trying to gauge how the conversation is going.
“The smile on your face is teasing as you ask “are you aware we have an audience?” and the laugh he lets out is better than you could’ve imagined, especially because you had made him tip his head back with laughter.
He answers, shaking his head. “I had no doubt they’d be watching to see if I fail”.
“If you fail?”
The smirk on his face is dangerous, “Well that depends on you”.
You hum in response. “I don’t know what you’d fail at? You haven’t even told me your name, your number, what you’re doing over here in the first place...?” You trail off, proud of yourself for that spark plug move.
He’s shaking his head then with a beautiful smile on his face. “I’m here to apologize for Mike’s headassery and for my team’s lack of manners when drunk in public. Well when sober too”, he laughs, then continues, “and as for my name, I’m-“ but he doesn’t get to finish as suddenly everyone around you is shouting “kiss, kiss, kiss!” You couldn’t believe what was happening right now. Your brain was suddenly unable to concentrate on anything except kissing the boy in front of you.
The nervous look is back on his face as he leans down to you “you don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to”, though there’s something hopeful in his eyes that you might say yes. Instinct takes over, your hands gripping his shirt and pulling him the rest of the way down to meet your grinning lips. You can feel him smiling as well, the rest of your senses only responding to him. You don’t hear the roar of the crowd. You can only smell his cologne and the beer that he had obviously been sipping on before coming to talk to you. You can hear the beating of your heart because of him and when you pull back, not wanting to get any farther than PG on national television, you can see his bright smile directed at you.
“Wow” is all he says, echoing your thoughts out loud. You can’t imagine the look on your face right then. You feel like you’re just staring at him with a big, dumb smile on your face. Luckily the boys, as with much of the stadium have gone back to whatever it is they were doing before your world was just rocked. Your phone ringing breaks up the moment and though you lift it to your ear you barely hear what your friend is saying besides “ohmygod, Ryder Donovan, Jumbotron and I found seats”. Ryder is still standing close to you and can very easily hear your friend’s squeals.
When you hang up he has an accusing look in his eyes but a cocky grin spread across his lips. “Don’t know my name, huh? It sounds to me like you very much know my name”.
Cringing, mostly at the fact that your friend had literally squealed over the boy staring at you expectantly, but also at your own embarrassment.
“Hey I never lied about that. I only pointed out that you hadn’t told me your name, not that I didn’t already know it. But I do have to get going to my seat. Don’t want to have to stand here with your friends any longer. I have a game to watch!” you say with a wink, leaving Ryder’s mouth open, his number never making it past his lips. He hadn’t even gotten your name.
KK
If there was one good thing about the abrupt end to the NHL season it was that you got to watch playoff hockey in the middle of September. And it gave you an excuse to be at the bar pretty much every night that week after work. You and your roommate would order a drink or two and spend the evening yelling at the TVs in the bar. Somehow in all of your excitement for game 3 of the Toronto/CBJ matchup you’d managed to forget that every Wisconsin student goes out on Thursday nights and so KK was a bit more crowded tonight, especially with how early it was. Surprisingly, a lot of people had on gear in support of both teams and were already pregaming.
Once you had your drinks in hand, you began to weave your way back to what had become your high top table in the corner. It had the best view in the place and it was out of the way, giving you a little space to jump around if the game got too crazy without being noticed. Or so you thought anyways. You made yourself comfortable on your stool, focusing on the screen as the puck dropped, completely missing the head turn and stare of the tall blonde who had not left your mind since three weeks ago.
He gets caught staring, but not by the person he wants to. Cole nudges his arm, “So are you gonna go make your move or what?” he challenges. Shay is next to his brother leaning on the table.
“Don’t think we haven’t noticed you drooling over her since the minute she walked in”, he teases. “See, you even have a little wet spot”, he says poking his brother’s chest.
“Where?” Ryder asks, confused and suddenly looking down, pulling on his shirt to get a better look at whatever mystery stain his brother was talking about.
“Right there”, Shay says at the same time he flicks his finger upwards, hitting Ryder in the face.
“You’re such a child, Shay”
“And you’re such an idiot. You fall for that everytime”, he cackles. “But for real, bro, you haven’t stopped looking for her everywhere we go. She’s right here, just pull out those moves I know you have”.
Looking over at you grinning up at the TV, pointing at something and talking animatedly to your friend, he decides his brother is right and he moves to get out of his seat and make his way through the crowd to you. But just as his feet hit the floor the bar erupts into a mixture of cheers and boos and you’re up out of your seat, hands on your head, watching Mitch Marner dangle his way through Jackets left and right and then going backhand on Elvis for one dirty goal. The distress is clear on your face and your arms are flailing wildly as you shake your head, yelling at the screen with your friend. Even from across the bar he can tell you're mad and pouting as you sit back in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest and a scowl on your face. You look cute all worked up over a goal and he decides he’ll settle for watching you interact with the game for a bit more. He also makes a mental note that you’re a Jackets fan.
--
Towards the end of the second period, you lift your cup to your mouth to discover it empty. You eye the thick crowd and debate whether or not to get another drink, but with the final seconds on the clock winding down and the Jackets trailing by two goals, you get off your stool and elbow your way through the wall of bodies.
Standing at the bar you feel someone grab your elbow. “What’re you stalking me now?” the voice attached to it asks.
You whip around, yanking your arm free not realizing that the bewildered boy was harmless. Seeing Ryder’s face with his eyes wide and hands up in defense you let out a breath of relief. “You can’t go sneaking up on a girl in a bar like that” you reprimand him.
He sheepishly apologizes, acknowledging that that wasn’t his best move.
“But to answer your question, I could ask you the same thing. I for one, live here” you tell him and he looks pleasantly surprised.
“Oh yeah? And who is ‘I’ anyway? I never did get your name.”
You laugh, thinking back to your first encounter and he was right, you had knowingly left him without introducing yourself. “Y/N” you say, letting him in on the mystery.
“Y/N” he repeats, liking the way it sounds on his lips and you have to admit that you do too. “And where is it that you live, Y/N? Maybe I know the place?”
You shake your head, “Probably not. It’s not on campus”, he still looks intrigued so you continue, “it’s a little ways the opposite direction. Right next to Festival, well, attached to it. Really convenient actually, I end up going there almost every day because I decide I need something new for dinner after work”.
Just then you hear commotion and look up just in time to see a replay of Werenski taking a dumb penalty, sending the lethal Leafs power play into action. You groan and Ryder chuckles. “You get pretty into this don’t you?”
You give him a look. “If you think that’s ‘into it’ you should see me when they actually get scored on”
“Oh I have, you’ve been losing your shit over there in the corner since about the fifth minute of the first period” he says nodding over toward your table with a smirk. You should feel embarrassed but knowing he’s seen you worked up over hockey and he’s been watching you this whole time makes you feel something else instead, something you don’t quite want to acknowledge.
“See, so I was right. You’re the one who is stalking me” you chirp him. He laughs and puts his hands up again.
“You’ve caught me. Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?”. Normally you wouldn't accept drinks from guys, knowing there’s usually always strings attached, but Ryder isn’t normal by any means and you wouldn't even be mad if there were strings attached to this one, so you agree.
“If you can get her attention. I swear I’ve been waiting here pretty much the whole intermission”. After asking what you want he looks around for the bartender and flashes a smile. Within seconds he’s ordered both of your drinks and is looking at you with a smug look on his face, your mouth slightly ajar.
“Unbelievable”, you mutter, but you should’ve known better. You can tell he knows what you said but he still leans down, close to you and makes a big show of saying “what was that?” And if he wants to play games then so will you, so you grab a fistful of his shirt and bring him back down to your level. “I said it’s unbelievable that you can just bat your lashes and that girl rushes over to take your order. Must be nice to be a star hockey player”. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t annoyed, firstly over the fact that you had quite literally been waiting there for a good 20 minutes and she hadn’t even glanced your way, but the minute Ryder shows up he gets taken care of and secondly you didn’t like the way she was looking at him as she quickly filled his order and leaned over the bar to hand it to him, unabashedly showing off her cleavage.
You did however, enjoy the dirty look she threw your way as he handed you your drink and leaned down to your ear to ask if you were jealous. Whether he was referring to his non-existent wait time or if he had caught the pouty look on your face, you were unsure, but instead of inflating his ego too much you left his question unanswered.
You focused your attention on the mark you had left in his shirt at the center of his chest where your fist had grabbed the fabric, wrinkling it. Your hand reached out to smooth it and maybe curiously feel the muscles underneath. Ryder looked down, eyes watching your hand the whole time hoping you couldn’t feel the way his heart was pounding under your touch. Your eyes gauge his reaction and right when you thought you might lose your own self control, the crowd saved you, cheering as Josh Anderson wedged one in past Freddie. You quickly removed your hand from his chest and cheered along with the rest of the Jackets fans. You used the moment as your escape, thanking him for your drink and then turning on your heel, “I have a game to watch!” You told him just like the first time and strolled back to your table, leaving Ryder in a stupor.
Festival
“So tell me again why we had to drive all the way across the city to get donuts that were also at the convenience store right across from our building?” Shay asks from behind the wheel.
“Because he’s stalking kiss cam girl” Dylan pipes in, making kissy faces and then retreating when Ryder shoots him a glare.
“We’re going to Festival because all I know about Y/N is her name and that she lives in the building attached to it and goes to this store all the time” he says matter of factly.
“So we’re stalking her?” Mike sums up.
Ryder just rolls his eyes and huffs out a “no” in the front seat.
“Come on dude, what’s your plan here if you do end up seeing her? What’re you gonna say when she says ‘oh what’re you doing here?’ ‘Oh ya know, I just made my brother drive all the way across the city to get these donuts and oh by the way would you want to go out with me?’” Shay asks, imitating Ryder.
“Well no”, he answers defensively.
“So what’s your plan?” Mike pushes.
Ryder looks down at his hand, suddenly regretting his decision to shove his teammates into a car after practice and travel across town to your door. Well, grocery store. “I don’t know’ I haven’t gotten that far, okay? I haven’t really thought about it”.
At that Mikey dies laughing, “Don’t lie, Rydes! As if you haven’t been rehearsing in your bedroom mirror for the past four days”. Ryder twists in his seat to eye his teammate before he lunges for him through the opening to the backseat, making Shay swerve the car as he turns into the parking lot.
“Hey, hey, hey! Watch the shoulder!” He shouts, trying to shield his shoulder from his brother's aggressive movements. Putting the car in park he tugs on Ryder’s shirt, making him sit down and then popping the locks, he’s shoving him out of the car. “We should just leave him”, Dylan mumbles when the door shuts.
--
As he rounds the corner of the donut aisle for the fourth time, he’s shaking his head at his stupidity. What was he thinking coming to this grocery store on a Monday night and expecting to see you? He’d checked the playoff schedule and there weren’t any games tonight, but that didn’t mean you’d be spending your night at the grocery store. Letting out a long sigh he frowns and grabs the box of Krispe Kreme donuts.
Having been watching him from the end of the aisle, you decide to finally speak up, “Someone having a rough day? I’ve never seen anyone have that reaction when they grab glazed donuts”.
His face lights up when he turns to face you. “You’re here”, he blurts out. His cheeks flame as he tries to recover. “I mean of course you’re here, you live right next door..I mean..” he’s clearly flustered and though you should say something to try and make him relax a little, you can’t help but chirp him just a tiny bit.
“I do. Someone has a good memory...I’m surprised no one’s called the cops on you for loitering. You’ve been pacing around the store for a good half hour now and you look nervous as hell like you’re gonna steal something”.
“Just your heart” he says automatically. His eyes widen and his hands cover his face. “Ohmygod, I can't believe I just said that '' he draws out with a groan, hand sliding down his face. “I’m sorry. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me” he says with slumped shoulders and red cheeks.
Your head is thrown back with loud laughs that earn you stares from the couple entering the aisle. “That was smooth, Donovan'' you say and put a hand on his arm, scooching a little closer to him to let the couple pass by. He tries to ignore your touch but it’s increasingly harder to do, the longer you let your hand linger.
“ So what are you doing here anyway? Isn’t this like kind of out of the way from campus?” Curiosity fills your voice. Ryder inwardly cringes at his brother being right. Of course you’d want to know what he was doing here and you’d picked up on the fact that it was very much out of his way. instead of answering the question he poorly tried to deflect, unable to come up with much. It’s like his brain won’t function properly around you.
“Well I just needed the world’s best glazed donuts and figured I would go to a grocery store instead of a convenience store because they’re probably fresher?” he offers.
“Uh huh”, you nod, clearly not believing him. “They are prettyyyy gooood” you say reaching across him to grab a box of your own and add it to the basket on your arm, “But not the best.” And you begin to tell him about the little bakery back home that makes literally the world’s best glazed donuts as you walk through the store and finish crossing items off your list.
When you self checkout and all Ryder has is the box of donuts you swipe them from him, scanning them and pulling a pen out of your purse. He’s practically wrestling you in the middle of the checkout, protesting, saying that “under no circumstances will you be walking out of there without money in your hands for the world’s second best glazed donuts”. After receiving dirty looks from the lady behind you in line, you shove the box back into his hands and quickly grab your couple of bags. He holds the door for you on your way out and offers to take your bags and walk you back. You shake your head though, knowing that if he walked you back, you’d invite him in, and if you invited him in he’d be staying until the sun came up.
“Just take your donuts home and call it a win, Rydes”, you say, nodding toward the box in his hand. Your face gets warm at the use of the nickname slipping your mouth but the grin it earns from him is worth the embarrassment of the slip up.
“I’ll see you soon,” he says but phrases it in the way of a question.
A small smile finds its way onto your features, “Maybe,” you turn to walk away, “if you use what’s written on that box”. He suddenly remembers you writing something on the box when you took it from him moments ago. At the time he had been too worried about paying you back that he had forgotten to actually see what you had written. He glances down to see your number messily scrawled on the top of the box, a small smile creeping its way onto his lips. When he looks back up you’re nowhere to be seen.
Turning to walk back to where the boys are no doubt anxiously waiting for him he pops open the box and takes a big, victorious bite out of a donut. He casually slides into the car to find Shay, Mike and Dylan on the edge of their seats. Mike looks a little too smug as he says, “Coming out empty handed I see?”. With an eyebrow raised Ryder asks him if he wants a donut, extending the box toward his obnoxious teammate, nonchalantly showing off the number on the top. Dylan was about to complain that he didn’t get offered any donuts when he spies something out of place on the polka dotted box.
“What’s that on the top-ohmygod you got her number didn’t you? She was actually there? You lucky son of a bitch. This never happens to me” he says, sitting back in his seat and pouting.
Shay’s laughing from the front seat. “That’s the Donovan way. Pay up, Vorlicky. You owe me 10 bucks”.
“Let me see that'' Mike grumbles, yanking the box from Ryder’s hand to inspect. Ryder tried to play it cool, like he had planned it and had no doubts that he’d get your number, but he ends up gushing about it like a little school girl the whole way home. As he finishes the last bite of his donut he can’t help but wonder what your world's best glazed donuts taste like.
Season Ticket Holder Brunch
If you could only eat one meal a day, it would be brunch. There was just something so satisfying about starting your day around 10 or 11 o'clock, sitting down to a fulfilling meal of whatever food your heart desired. It would be perfectly acceptable to fill your stomach with fluffy pancakes and sugary syrup or you could go the cheeseburger and fries route; it was a win win. A week ago, had someone told you that you were going to brunch and there would also be hockey talk/players there, you would have been in heaven. But today you were feeling more like you were going to be in your own personal hell. Not only would you be in the same room as the guy you had kind of humiliated in front of his buddies, but you’d also have to look the one in the eye who you had given your number to and never heard from. Oh and then there was the fact that you’d be with the whole damn Wisconsin hockey team as a fan, a season ticket holder fan at that. You wouldn’t even be going, but as fate would have it, your roommate had just so happened to threaten your life when you had first refused to go, using the phrase “I will kill you myself if I have to”. So here you were, about to celebrate the beginning of a new season with brunch and the stars themselves.
--
His eyes had widened in disbelief the first time he had caught sight of you that day. What were you doing here, at a luncheon exclusively for season ticket holders? Cole looked at his teammate.
“You still haven’t reached out to her yet?” He asked incredulously.
“I didn’t think she was serious. What am I supposed to say?”
“Dude she gave you her number. What more does she need to do? Sack up bro”. Ryder knew Cole was right. You hadn’t thrown yourself at him like other girls did, but you had definitely made it clear you were interested in him. Hell, you had literally kissed him in front of thousands of people and yet, he couldn’t compose a text? He knew he had to speak to you today before you left, but as he watched you greet Coach Granato with such confidence, he lost his.That didn’t mean his eyes didn’t follow you everywhere you went, constantly aware of your presence in the room, even if you didn’t appear to be aware of his.
From a fan’s perspective, the whole setup was pretty cool, you had to admit. The guys were greeting guests as they entered and mingling throughout the room. You knew where Ryder was at every moment and though you wanted so badly to be able to go up to him, you made yourself avoid him. A task that was made very difficult with the warmth of his eyes on your every more. This little dance of yours continued until the presentations started, then the guys were lined up at the front of the room at banquet tables that were facing the rest of the room. There were a couple speeches from the coach and the new captains, and a really well put together hype video, which you watched none of because the whole time you kept locking eyes with the one and only, Ryder Donovan. You both were casting glances each other’s way, alternating whose turn it was to quickly look away, the question in your eyes present each time and the guilt in his.
--
When tables are released to go get their food from the buffet he searches for you. Spotting you in line with a plate in your hand he slides up next to you.
“I was about to offer you a ticket to the game but I guess you’ve already got that covered” he tries. You don’t even turn his way, pretending to survey the food even though your heart is beating a mile a minute just with his proximity to you.
“Oh is that so? And how were you going to do that? I’m assuming you lost my number? And if you didn’t, you really should”.
He hears snickers from behind him and he shoots his teammates a glare before turning his attention back to you. Clearly he’s messed up and he knows he’s skating on thin ice (haha) with you so he tries to choose his words carefully before just deciding to put himself out there.
“I didn’t exactly know what to say? I typed out a bunch of different options, some cheesy pickup lines, a simple hey, but I erased it every time. It didn’t seem...good enough” he admits. Now you look at him, his face confirming his words and you see him look nervous for the third time since you’ve met him, and three times more than you thought you ever would.
“How about a ’hi it’s Ryder’ you’re plenty good enough already, you didn’t need to think of some snazzy message, it’s just me”
“Yeah, but that’s exactly my point. You’re..well you’re you. You’re kind of intimidating and by kind of I mean you’re intimidating”.
“That’s the first time I’ve heard that one” you say, but you’re reeling at the boy in front of you calling you intimidating, as if he didn’t know who he was.
“It’s true” he defends, calling Mike over.
“Mike, is she intimidating?”
“Oh hell yeah. I was pretty shitfaced at that game and even I knew not to mess with you after you handed me my ass” he jokes.
“See?” Ryder says, gesturing to Mike as if proving his point. “Okay you’re dismissed Mikey” Mike looks annoyed that he has to leave the conversation but shrugs and follows Ryder’s orders anyway, leaving you alone with Ryder once again.
“Well just know I don’t mean to come off as intimidating”, you tell him, wanting to break the ice and ultimately let him in.
He follows you to your table and then hesitates once he’s there, not knowing if it’s okay to sit down. You pat the chair next to you and his tall frame is collapsing into the chair next to you. Once he’s sitting you can see him visibly relax a bit, noticing for the first time how tiring these events can be for the young men that serve as the entertainment.
“Are you tired yet?” You ask. He can see the concern in your eyes and his heart swells a little at the fact that you might be worried about him.
“Don’t worry about me, today is about you guys, the fans” he teases, leaning toward you to knock your shoulder with his own.
You can tell he’s trying to keep it light, but you wanted a real answer from him. “And I thought I was supposed to be intimidating. Clearly didn’t scare you into actually answering the question” you say with a light smile. He chuckles at your remark and gives you his honest answer, leaning forward so that he can prop his bent arm on the table and rest his head on his hand, watching you.
“Yes, these things are exhausting. I’m just kind of on display the whole time and have to say the right things all the time And obviously I’m not very good at that” he motions between the two of you, “but don’t get me wrong I’m super grateful to be in this position and I know it comes with the territory and stuff. It really is fun too, meeting everyone and seeing all of the support and excitement for the team. It’s a really cool thing we have here at Wisconsin” the passion and gratitude leaking into his voice. The smile on your face is genuine as you listen to him open up and you can’t help but think about how easily you could get used to this, to him. Your thoughts are interrupted by another boy stopping at your table.
“Hey bud, coach said you have to fraternize with all of the fans, not just your girlfriend” he says, clapping a hand down on Ryder’s shoulder. Ryder’s cheeks turn the color of the scarlet Badger polo he’s wearing. You laugh at the older Donovan’s remark before sticking out your hand and introducing yourself. Shay gives his brother one last chirp before Ryder is excusing himself.
“I thought I’d never get rid of him” he jokes after Ryder leaves. “Look I know the kid hasn’t texted you yet, but I know for a fact he’s interested in you. I’m assuming you’re coming to our game this weekend?” He asks.
“I think I can arrange that, yes” you say as you watch Ryder work the room. As if he can sense you watching him, he sends a smile your way, a slight blush on his cheeks still.
“- and yeah, that’s the story of how Carole killed her husband and fed him to the tigers” Shay finishes and waits patiently for your reaction.
You only catch the tail end of what he’s saying and are very confused, “I’m sorry what?!”
He throws his head back laughing, earning Ryder’s attention. “You weren’t listening to a word I said, Y/N. You two have it so bad for each other” he taunts. You roll your eyes but there is a definite smile on your face.
“Yeah, says you”.
He smiles back, getting up from the table since you weren’t listening anyways. “I mean it, this weekend. You and Ryder. I’m gonna make it happen” he says pointing at you and his brother. You shake your head at him but don’t protest, continuing to watch the tall boy across the room.
--
With the event wrapping up you decide to head out, having to prepare some stuff for work the next day. You want to make it a point to say your goodbye to Ryder before you leave this time, but he beats you to it as he sees you nearing the door.
“So about that ticket..” he says grinning.
“Oh are you getting me a seat on the glass or right behind the bench?” You tease.
He’s just as quick with a response, “if that’s what you want. As long as I know where to look for you”. You look away not wanting him to see the way your face is heating up. He’s getting good at this.
“D5” you tell him, biting your lip.
“D5” he repeats as if committing it to memory. “Well then I will see you there”, he says.
“Not if I see you first, Donovan” you lightly flirt. He rolls his eyes at your cheesy response, fighting the grin that breaks out on his face.
“Get outta here, Y/N, I'm starting to rub off on you”.
+1
Since the season ticket holder event, Ryder had stepped up his initiative, even texting you for the first time later that day to make sure you had gotten home alright and again apologizing for not messaging you sooner. He made up for lost time by committing all of his free time to you, texting and FaceTiming you every chance he got, even sneaking messages in during practice where you got a text from his coach telling you that Ryder would no longer be available for the next hour as he would be bag skating. The boys let him have it for that one.
Needless to say, you two had grown closer in the span of a week, feeling like you had known each other for ages and you were very much looking forward to the next time you could see him, which would be at his game. Obviously he knew you had tickets for it, but the look on his face when he asked if you would come to his game was adorable.
The gameday experience itself and attending the game as someone’s possible significant other was new in every way and couldn’t have been more perfect from start to finish. Even getting ready for the game was exciting. The moment you walked through the doors of Kohl you were in awe. It was even bigger and better than you had imagined. You were taking so much time admiring the arena that you were a few minutes late to watch warmups. Of course you wandered down to the glass and Ryder was in front of you in an instant. He charmingly tossed a puck over the glass and then was hit by Dylan against the boards. The game itself was electric. The atmosphere was alive and you could tell the boys were feeding off the energy. It was a very tight game for all three periods, but Ryder luckily found the back of the net within the last minute, putting the Badgers up 1 and sealing the victory. He immediately crashed into the glass right in front of you, you capturing the moment with the proudest smile on your face.
--
Waiting for Ryder was nerve racking to say the least. Your eyes kept shifting from place to place and person to person and you exchanged fake smiles with the people you had made awkward eye contact with. There were small groups of family members and girls waiting for the team to make their exit and you stood off to the side by yourself. You couldn’t have felt more out of place if you tried.
Soon enough you see a blonde poke of hair through the doorway of the locker room. With his head above everyone else’s you watch his eyes scan the groups for your face. You find each other immediately and across the room his silhouette starts to make its way to you. As soon as he’s in front of you he’s wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off your feet. Your laughter is genuine, having not expected him to be so open in front of everyone, despite having already kissed on a jumbortron. Once he sets you on your feet, the playful conversation starts. He counters all your quick remarks and the interactions feel as fun and as alive as they used to in middle school when you’d pass notes in secrecy to your crush.
“So what did ya think?”, the nervous Ryder from previous interactions gone and the goal scoring, talented hockey player Ryder taking his place.
A smile tugs at your lips as you decide whether or not you want to inflate his ego any, but after a 3 point night you think he’s earned a little compliment at least.
“It was amazing! This arena lives up to the hype for sure and that #27, damn he’s pretty good. Do you think you could hook a girl up? He was on fire tonight”.
“I might be able to work a little magic. I don’t know though, he seems pretty into this girl already” he drawls out, reaching for you again.
“Well, she’s feeling pretty lucky tonight”.
His teammates begin joining you two, each one giving him a hard time as they enter the picture. “Y/N! I’m glad you showed up, we thought Ryder was gonna have a heart attack when you didn’t show for the very beginning of warmups. I’m Cole by the way, Ryder talks all about you”, he says sticking his hand out.
You giggle at his comment and Ryder’s cheeks. He doesn’t deny any part of what his teammate had just said. “I didn’t know I had to follow the team schedule, but I won’t be late next time” you say, knocking into Ryder’s side.
“Are you coming out with us tonight? We’re just going for a few drinks. Nothing too wild since we have another one tomorrow, but we want to celebrate the first one.”
His question takes you by surprise, as Ryder had said he wanted to hang out after the game but had danced around what he actually wanted to do. But before you can answer he does for you. “We’ll be there, but we have to make a little stop first” he says and then realized that he hadn’t even asked what your opinion on the plans were, “if that’s ok with you?”
You didn’t have the chance to answer, again because Dylan pipes up in the conversation. “Hey, you said I would get next goal!” He whines.
Your brows knit in confusion at whatever Dylan’s complaint is in reference to, as Owen throws an arm over the blonde’s shoulders. “It’s okay buddy, I’ll take you. Ryder has a girlfriend now, so things are going to be different”, O delicately explains like he’s talking to a child, welcoming a new human into the family.
Ryder rolls his eyes at his teammates, but doesn’t dispute or even address the girlfriend comment. “Sorry, D. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. But we should probably get going if we want to make it an early one tonight”. The boys nod in agreement and all make the walk to their cars, dispersing. Ryder walks with you to the passenger side of the car and opens the door for you and you have to say, even though it’s a small gesture, it still makes you blush and earns him yet another brownie point.
After he gets in and starts to drive you ask, “So where is it that we’re going that Dylan’s so upset about?”
Of course he doesn’t give you a straight answer, wanting to keep it a surprise as long as he can. “You’ll see”.
It’s a short time before he’s pulling up in front of the Capitol building and telling you to “stay put” as he jogs around the front of the car to open your door for you. His hand is held out to help you out of the car and onto the sidewalk. You expect him to drop your hand once you’ve made it safely, but he keeps your hand tucked in his and pulls you along until you”re standing inside Dlux.
With an excited grin on his face he asks, “Are you ready for the best burger and shake of your life?”
--
Ryder was downright passionate, telling you about all of the different shake flavors they had and how he made it a mission last year to try every single one, “AND every month they come out with a new flavor! This month’s is red velvet”. Which one are you going to get?” You couldn’t decide but he assured you that no matter which flavor you chose, you couldn’t go wrong.
He was right on that, eventually leaving the shake decision up to him and he chose the flavor of the month, and it was delicious. The burgers were amazing too, in part due to the fact that you were starving. You’d barely eaten anything all day because of the nerves leading up to being with Ryder that night. Both of you finished your food lightning fast, but stayed to talk well past your plates having been cleared from the table. You only ended up leaving because the boys were blowing up Ryder’s phone with texts asking when you two were coming. When you looked down at your own phone you realized that you’d been there for a good two hours. Time flew when you were with him. He ended up paying for your meal, claiming it was in return for the donuts you had bought for him and though the amounts were very unbalanced, you agreed with the condition of you paying for the next time. He was overly satisfied with the promise of there being a “next time”.
“That was the perfect post-game meal. I can see why Dylan was upset he didn’t get to be your date tonight”, you said once you were back in the warmth of the car.
“Yeah I feel kind of bad, I did tell him next goal at the end of last season when he didn’t get to go”, glancing over at you he can see your eyebrow raised and further explains, “It’s kind of cheesy, but every time I get a goal, I come here for a shake and a burger. Kind of a reward I guess. A little tradition I started”. The small smile that dances across his face is endearing and almost embarrassed.
“Well thank you for letting me be a part of your tradition”, you tell him earnestly. You feel honored that he wanted to include you and share his tradition with you.
He just shrugs, “Well I figured I had to bring my good luck charm to celebrate. You’re coming to my game tomorrow too, right?” a little smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Your nose scrunches up at his line, but a giggle escapes you nonetheless. “That was really cheesy, Donovan. But yes, I will be there”.
“D5?”
“D5”, you confirm.
--
His hand finds yours again as he leads you to their booth in the back of KK. You can’t help but notice its view of your table in the corner that you’ve spent the majority of the playoffs at.
The boys surprisingly keep their word of only a few rounds of drinks. Ryder stays glued to your side the entire time, only leaving to retrieve you a drink. But soon he was back, an arm resting over the back of the booth, a comfortable weight over your shoulders. He used the noise level as an excuse to lean close to talk to you and you didn’t mind the close proximity one bit. Despite the bar being pretty crowded since it was a Friday night and the team being all around you, it was like you and Ryder were in your own little world.
“It’s kind of funny how things have come full circle”, he notes, ‘here we are, in KK with a Brewers and Stanley Cup game playing”.
You glance over at the TVs and sure enough, there’s a Brewers game on one and a Cup game on the other. You lean into him, a content smile playing on your lips as you think back to the first time you had met him. “I can’t believe we got kiss cammed” you reminisce.
“And I can’t believe how crazy you get watching hockey games”, he teases.
“Hey! I take my hockey very seriously, thank you very much”, you exclaim, giving his side a little jab and then settling to lean against him again. “Fate’s really got our backs, huh? First the game, then here, the grocery, and that brunch”. You revel in all of the times you had somehow ended up in the same place together, each time not knowing that you’d end up seeing the other again.
“Yeah, er, about that”, he says, taking a drink.
You can tell he’s about to tell you something that discredits something you had just said and you groan. “What is it?”
“I definitely drove to that grocery store on purpose to find you, fate had nothing to do with that”, he confesses.
“It’s true. I was the driver!” Shay interjects from beside Ryder, a gentle shove from Ryder following the interjection.
Your head tips back with laughter, “I assumed as much. Your excuse for what you were doing across town was pretty awful”
“Dude, I told you she was going to wonder why you were there and you should figure out a response before you went outside, but noooo Shay never knows what he’s talking about” the older brother butts in again.
“Yeah, exactly, you never know what you're talking about” Ryder says, quoting his brother out of context.
“Except this time”, you chirp, earning a high five from Shay.
“Yeahhh, I like this one”, he approves.
“And to think I thought this was going to work out”, Ryder jokes, gesturing between the two of you.
“Do you guys need to kiss and make up?”, Cole asks from beside you. This gets the attention of Mike and a few of the other boys, who childishly start a chant of “Kiss, kiss, kiss!” Things really had come full circle.
You’re grinning as you say, “Fate, Donovan”.
And right before his lips press against yours he says, “Must be”.
The guys cheer, almost identical to the first time, only this time the kiss is a little more heated thanks to there not being thousands of spectators and a jumbotron.
When you finally pull away from each other, Ryder says, “I’m not letting you walk away from me this time. Can I take you out on a date?”
#Ryder Donovan#Shay Donovan#dylan holloway#mike vorlicky#owen lindmark#cole caufield#I’m assuming you lost my number? And if you didn’t you really should#mine#my writing
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(captions~)
I finally spotted a gyroid frag on the beach! So I have two gyroids waiting in the farm once again~
I also caught another funny dialogue from Tucker, heh!
Then Elvis talked about the gift exchange, but i was only planning on exchanging with Raymond this year, lol.
Oh, and there’s another hockey game tonight, so I think I’m gonna save giving Eloise a maze until tomorrow, and then craft a new house the day after that.
pic 1: First Beached Gyroid spotted!
pic 4: "...Psychologist?” “Yeah, that!” Tucker smiled.
pic 6: ...God I love Tucker.
pic 7: "Just sit next to her, Mint. Oh my god..." Croissant groaned. "Nooo, I'm too embarrassed!" Mint wriggled in her seat.
pic 8: Ables had some cool shades that I thought he might like for the gift exchange!
pic 9: "Oh, nice job!"
pic 10: Croissant looked shifty. (I was just gonna gift exchange with Raymond, honestly...)
...I hadn’t thought of it before, but yeah, we wouldn’t be able to see the back section of a wall-mounted item, so it only shows three versions!
Three new items, and I could buy all of them, awesome!
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For my fellow Sweater Weather fans ❤️ @lumosinlove - thank you!
Kudos to @frombeauxbatons for helping me with Finnish.
@wxlfstxrx and @siriuslyqueer love youuu 💕
Sweater weather chats #10
The team goes to Vegas. Kris gets a new phone. Olli speaks Finnish. Remus and Sirius are in their honeymoon phase. The team dads ship it. Kasey gets cuddles. Logan gets lost. Leo is mad. Everyone bets on Sergei. Dumo is not a fan of Russian cheering during sex. Will we ever find out about Prague?
Wednesday 9.22 pm
Eliascookie: eyyy fucking love wifi in the air. 🤪
Dumodad: shhh someone is trying to nap and you guys are loud 🥴
Logantremblayzzz: sorry grandpa. Not all of us are old and cranky.
Sergei_81: careful I fight people for you
CarbO’Hara: and we love you dearly for that. But no denying you and dumo are old and cranky. You could literally both be Leo’s dads
Ollibear: he looks more like sunny and sergei’s baby than dumo’s
Blizzard: ohhh a love triangle 🙊😳
Sunnysideup: as much as I love sergei, I wouldn’t get between him and dumo. They’re the bromance of our gen :) also not my type
Kaneyoudigit: yeah. Where does that butt slap come from anyways? Even when one of them is out or injured they find time for that 👻
Bradygunz: I don’t think anyone understands it... where does it come from? Something about Prague - Allison was super cagey about it.
Dumodad: shhhh let us sleep. Night boys. Got another few hours and practice tomorrow is not optional. Sleep.
Nadotheman: VEGAS BABY
Krisvolley: practice and a game Nado.
RussianGod: DONT be boring krissy
——
Friday 12.33 pm
Remus created a group chat
Remus added Dumo, Sirius, Sergei, Sunny and Krissy
Remus named group chat HELP
Remus: okay boys. Sorry for this but I’m a little worried. We’re in Vegas and with a whole day of no games and only practice tomorrow once we touch down in LA, I can’t keep an eye on the entire team.
Dumo: haha dont worry go have a nice date with cap. God knows he’s cranky enough that you were away for that course for three days.
Sunny: don’t worry I sleep with ear plugs anyways 😜
Remus: hey we have separate rooms!
Krissy: wE hAvE sEpErAtE rOoMs....... it’s ok remmy 😉 cap plays better after you do whatever it is you do.
Sirius: alright stop. I wasn’t cranky. And leave Remus alone. You’re supposed to be the mature ones. Also Krissy?
Krissy: yes. I got a new iPhone and made the mistake of asking timmers and Olli to help me set it up on the plane. Now I can’t get it to change back. They set it to Finnish. Have no fucking clue and haven’t managed to get hold of Olli yet. 😳😳😳😳
Sergei: cap and re go enjoy honeymoon we take care of babies
Sunny: 😜😜😜😜😜 enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it’s chores, babies and using alone time to catch up on sleep
Dumo: yeah. Don’t take your blissful kid free life for granted. 😈
Krissy: didn’t Logan and the other two walk in on your guys doing it in the kitchen last month?
Dumo: so?
Sergei: haha just kitchen? I’ve caught them worse. Is ok. You understand when you have babies. 😆
Krissy: I have a baby. I’m just single 😫😫😫
Sunny: want us to find a girl for you?🤓
Krissy: no thank you. Leave my sex life alone.
Sergei: u even have one?
Krissy left the group chat
Dumo added krissy to the group chat
Dumo: Sergei is sorry......... also he walked in on us maybe 5 times calm down. There’s nothing like Russian cheering to kill a mood....
Sunny: 5? That can’t be right. You were bunnies when she was pregnant last. I saw things I cannot unsee 🤯🤯🤯
Sirius left the group chat
Remus: you broke Sirius. Anyways I’ll leave the babysitting to you guys then.
Sunny: HAVE FUN REMUS 🥳🥳
——
Friday 2.54 pm
Logantremblayzzz: guys I’m lost. I’ve been walking towards that big pointy thing and the map from the hotel is crap and I got away from finn and he’s not picking up
*picture of map*
Blizzard: Logan.
Blizzard: THATS A MAP OF PITTSBURGH. WE’RE IN VEGAS. ALSO ITS UPSIDE DOWN.
Blizzard: how the fuck have you lived to see 23? 😆
Logantremblayzzz: oh. That makes more sense. 🙈🙈🙈
Newt-leo: what do you mean you lost Finn? Are you both lost somewhere in Vegas? Just use your phone and get back to the hotel...
Blizzard: Finn left his phone here in the room😂😂😂 better send out a search party
Logantremblayzzz: well I don’t know what happened. I can’t find him now. 😭
LeWilliam: There’s literally one strip of road in Vegas and you’ve gotten lost. 🐸
Dumodad: I swear to the fucking hockey gods we were never this stupid. Idiots. Get back here for 5, and we can go have a team dinner for those who want. Sergei is buying
Evanderbell: ohh @tylerthemighty and I are in!! Thanks @sergei_81!!!
Sunnysideup: he’s sleeping? Hahahah he’s gonna be unhappyyyy 😂
RussianGod: hehe thanks we’re play too...
Nadotheman: he means game. But yeah. Free dinner 😎
Prongstar: I think this one @logantremblayzzz has to go into the promo videos hahahahah 😂😂😂 I’m telling Marlene.... 😘
Ollibear: is anyone looking for Finn?
Newt-leo: yeah me and @krisvolley are going out now
——-
Friday 3.44 pm
CarbO’Hara: THANKS FOR DITCHING ME LOGAN
Logantremblayzzz: I was lost too! Not my fault you wander about
CarbO’Hara: I was talking to a puppy and when I got back up you were gone 😔 didn’t have my phone. Had to ask two Cher’s and an Elvis how to get back. 😫
Newt-leo: you’re back at the hotel now?
CarbO’Hara: yes. Forgot my phone.
Newt-leo: WELL THATS FUCKING GREAT. 😡
Walkietalkie: uhhh someone is in the dog house 😂😂😂
Nadotheman: bad fish... no goalie love for youuu
Blizzard: I can cuddle ya Finn. No worries. 😘😫😘
Logantremblayzzz: you’re not cuddling Finn. Go cuddle Nado if you need to.
RussianGod: come on blizzard. We do goalie sandwich 🥪🥪🥪🥪
Blizzard: gimme five minutes boysss 😍
Krisvolley: we’re heading back now. You’re paying for our cab Finn. Leo is really mad 😉
Friday 3.52 pm
Timmyforrealz: awww 😍
*nado and Kuny cuddling blizzard in a goalie sandwich*
Ollibear: there’s a lot of bromance in my room right now. 😂
Walkietalkie: at least they’re fully clothed. 🤞🏻
——
Friday 6.33 pm
Sergei_81: IM NOT PAYING FOR YOU All
Dumodad: yes you are. It’s your turn. 😘
Sunnysideup: u know it. It’s the deal. Shouldn’t bet if you can’t pay up.
Sergei_81: is thanks I get for fighting for you all.
Sirius: you keep bringing that up. But you love fighting for us. We love you for it 😜
Dumodad: haha cap’s got a point my friend. And you’re a glorious fighter. Haha your punches are feared through the league. Even the linesmen try to avoid getting between you and your victim
Nadotheman: you know there’s a bet in the league? First rookie to take you down gets a Rolex from a draw? Everyone chips in at draft? 😜
RussianGod: is true hehehe I put money in on never so I want watch
KrisVolley: was that an option? 😳 how did I not think of this
RussianGod: I’m smart just not in English. English stupid. Russian best 🥳
—-
Friday 9.33 pm
Ollibear: Mä oon niin ilonen mut mulla on ikävä kotiin. Mulla on ikävä muumeja.
Ollibear: Ja mun äitiä.
Ollibear: Tykkään myös tosi paljon pannukakuista.
Prongstar: Olli.exe stopped working…….
Sunnysideup: eh anyone’s got an eye on Olli? He’s defaulted to Finnish… 🙊🙊🙊
Dumodad: @timmyforrealzzz @nadotheman @russiangod
Dumodad: WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO NOW
KrisVolley: hahahaha Olli just had some shots. The waitress was making googly eyes at him and I guess he couldn’t say no 😆
Timmyforrealz: I think we should get him back to the hotel 😁😁😁
Nadotheman: not it!!!!
RussianGod: I got him. He dont walk
——-
“Kuny, he can’t even walk”
“I’m got him. He very drunk. Hehe not hold liquor well for Finn. Is embarrassing” Kuny snorted and hoisted his teammate more firmly over his shoulder.
“He owes me $100 for bribing the driver to take us”
“Sä oot hyvä venäläinen. Et ilkee venäläinen. Tunnen pahoja ja ilkeitä venäläisiä.”
“Any idea what he’s saying?”
“Not sure is even Finnish. Sound like just words”
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kraken bait 1.5
now that the season is off and running and contracting covid, it’s time for another installment of my odd inferences on who is going to be on the seattle kraken. if you want to see the first installment of this list, it’s here.
so, say it with me... KRAKEN BAIT! KRAKEN BAIT!
Phil Kessel: this is another one i can’t take the credit for. “phil kessel, kraken bait” is the brainchild of corwin (@chaos-hockey), who proposed this to me one day and i said “y’know what, i can see it.” i don’t follow the arizona coyotes at all, but i know they are not very good and have had terrible GMs, so i don’t think it’s out of the question that kessel could be exposed for the expansion draft, especially if the yotes’ brass don’t think he’s performing to expectations. whether the kraken would opt to take him over someone else is questionable, but you don’t necessarily need to be a good grab to be kraken bait. i will admit i’m not completely sold on kessel as kraken bait, so if you’ve got a strong argument for why he is or isn’t, i want to hear it.
Blake Coleman: the devils fan gets another excuse to talk about former devils who may and hopefully will end up in seattle! i miss having pickles in nj, he was such an asset to the devils, but he’s been doing good in tampa bay and is a large part of why i’ve become somewhat attached to the lightning. but more importantly, pickles is near-perfect kraken bait. he’s a bottom-six depth forward on an incredibly stacked team that’s already in cap hell, and his contract expires at the end of this season, so there is no doubt tampa bay will leave him exposed for the expansion draft. i don’t really know the bolts well enough to make a prediction about who else they might leave on the table for seattle, but i think pickles could be a great pickup for the kraken based on his performance with the devils and the lighting. if that is the case, much like tyson barrie, i’ll be very happy to have him back on one of my teams. it’ll be a tough decision if i want “barrie” or “coleman” on the kraken away jersey i will inevitably buy.
Joonas Korpisalo or Elvis Merzlikins: solid goalie tandems are pretty hard to come by these days, but the columbus blue jackets have one. both korpisalo and merzlikins are consistently good, unlike other teams, which wind up having one good goalie and his pretty old or pretty young or pretty bad backup. as part of the expansion draft rules, all teams need to expose one of their goalies, so seattle will have their work cut out for them sifting through a whole bunch of backups and 1B goalies for their one (or two) good guy(s). i absolutely think one of the goalies the kraken takes will be from the blue jackets. it’s hard to say who columbus will leave exposed out of korpisalo and merzlikins, and i think you could make a case for either. neither of them are necessarily stars, like marc-andre fleury was for vegas, but i think either of them would be a strong presence in the crease for the kraken. however, i do think the possibilities of goalies for seattle are pretty varied, so if you’ve got another goalie you think could be kraken bait, let me know.
that’s it for part 2 of the kraken bait list! agree? disagree? got someone else you think is kraken bait? let me know!
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