#edit: okay im crying in the bathroom now and i feel like im going insane | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

x3kristax3 · 2 years

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After Duskwood -Chapter 27

⚠️TW: language and blood

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A/N: the lengths Jake will go to keep MC safe is insane but we all love it. Also hoping to get this prett much edited this weekend.

Jakes POV

We check into the motel and i finally get MC to lay down on the bed and stop crying. She dozes off for the first time on her own so i let her sleep. I look at her and what she went through just breaks my heart knowing I'm the reason for it. I feel like she doesn't deserve me and she sure as hell doesn't deserve what happened to her. I pull out my phone and start looking for apartments here in Duskwood for me and her while I settle this fight he started when a text comes through.

Red:Nymos?

Jake: What?

Red: Clyde has found you guys I'm sorry to make you run again.

Jake: Thanks for the tip. Do we have long?

Red: He just left and said its a 4 hour drive

Jake: Fuck thanks

I look over at MC and hate to do this. I open my chat

Jake: Jessica?

Jessy online

Jessy: Hello Jake

Jake: Can you take MC for a bit. I need to run and she's in no place to keep moving

Jessy: you run without her and your gonna break her heart

Jake: I know but I can't keep moving her. You will understand when you see her

Jessy: fine bring her to my place

Jake: come to the motel if I leave who's tracking me will find me and hurt whoever gets in his way.

I see MC stir "who you texting?" She asks.

"Jessica, I'm sorry to do this but she's gonna come get you. Clyde is on his way" I say, looking into her eyes as I see her heart break.

"No you are not fighting this alone!" she yells.

"Your in no shape. I promise I'll come get you once I can, okay?" I say kissing her head.

"Jake, please don't do this" she says in tears.

"Please,MC this is for you and us. He won't stop until he either kills me or kills him" I say pulling her close.

She pushes me away and goes into the bathroom. She locks the door and I hear her crying.

"Baby, please open the door" I say leaning against it.

"No I'm not leaving" she yells.

There is a knock on the door. I look out and see Jessica. I open the door for her.

"She locked herself in the bathroom" I say feeling defeated and heartbroken.

"MC please lets talk. He's just trying to keep you safe" Jessy says.

"No! Im staying with him!" MC yells while crying.

This is breaking my heart. I pull out my phone. Pulling up the chat with Red.

Jake: Red can you hold him off?

Red: I can try but you know he's out for your blood.

Jake: Please do I'm trying to protect her.

I forward the conversation to MC and 3i hear her phone go off in the bathroom

"Love, please read what I just sent you" I say.

There is silence and the door unlocks and shes leaning against the counter crying. I bolt in and pull her close.

"I don't want to leave you because what if you fail?" She says looking up at me with tears still in her eyes.

"I know he's coming because of Red. Please just go with Jessica. I will find you once its all over'' I say as my heart breaks seeing her cry like this.

Watching her and Jessy walk out the door and just before if closes again it flings open and MC runs into my arms and melts in my arms.

"I love you, Jake. Please be safe" she says.

I hand her my hoodie I've been wearing. " I love you too and I will".

Jessy is standing in the doorway and MC leaves closing the door.

I sit on the bed where she was laying just smelling the pillow as it still smells like her. I take the other pillow and throw it across the room. Knowing what i have to do to have her back in my arms

MCs POV

I get in Jessy car and she can tell I'm a total mess.

"Why can't you keep up with him right now?" She asks

Unable to tell the story again I pull out pictures of my back. "Someone he knew and thought he could trust did that to me. So he killed the guy and burned the place down. Now one of the guys is out for him. I can barely move Jessy from pain right now" I say leaning forward so as not to hurt my back.

"Lets get you to my apartment and get you some rest" she says so concerned but has learned not to ask more unlike Dan its a nice break.

We get to her apartment and she shows me the spare bedroom and I go and lay down. I'm hoping to get some sleep but without Jake I'm unable too with this pain.

I grab my phone and open the chat with him

MC: I miss you already

Jake online

Jake: I know my love. I smelt your pillow as soon as you left.

Jake: Please try and get some sleep

MC: I want to, but I can't without you :(

Jake: Yse my hoodie as a blanket

MC goes to grab his hoodie and Jessy is standing in the door way

"Really? You're supposed to be trying to sleep" she says, crossing her arms.

"I needed Jakes hoodie." I say as i grab and and put it on as it engulfs me and i3 feel the ring still on my finger.

"I told him I'd take care of you so you need to rest" she says.

"I'll sleep when I know he's safe. Can we watch movies and eat popcorn?" I ask

"No rest, he told me you haven't slept much," she says.

"Ugh fine" I say crawling back into bed.

I wake up and look at the clock realizing its 5pm. I hear Dan and Jessy.

"Let me see her. You didn't see how much she hurt this morning" Dan yells.

"No she's finally sleeping and I plan to let her. Also don't raise your voice to me. Jake asked me to watch her not you" she says.

"Only cause we can't stand each other." Says Dan.

I get up out of bed and walk out to them. "Whats for dinner I'm starving?" I ask.

"I ordered pizza for us," Jessy says.

I pull out my phone and dont see a message from Jake. "Any updates from him?" I ask, sitting down and worried.

"Last he said the guy hadn't shown up by that was two hours ago" she says.

"Do you have something i can eat real fast i need to take my meds?" I ask.

"Yeah" as she grabs a bar and hands it to me with a glass of water and my meds.

"How you feeling?" Asks Dan.

"Now that I got actual meds better" I say.

"What they gave you fake shit!?" He yells

"Yeah dont worry Jake got me meds from the doctors after we left your place this morning" I say.

There is a knock on the door and I jump and look hoping its Jake but its just the pizza. However before she closes the door someone pushes it and I see Jake. He's all bloody, bruised, and dirty. He clasps on the floor. I run up to him as she shuts the door.

"Jake please talk to me" I say running my hands over his face.

"He's dead" says Jake looking in my eyes. They look dark. I've never seen this look before.

I look up at Jessy and she gives us space "are you okay?" I ask pulling his hoodie off to check for any wounds but there isn't.

"Yeah he only got a couple swings" he says pulling me close.

I climb in his lap on the floor and lean into him not caring about my back. Dan comes out and sees Jake shape.

"Hackerman, what the hell?" He asks.

"Don't worry about it" Jake says pulling me close to him and I just sob into his chest.

I finally look into his eyes and I still see the look. "Jake….. I…." Lean into his chest and cry.

"I told you I'd come find you" he says running his hands through my hair.

"Jake why don't you shower then have some pizza" says Jessy.

"I don't think MC is gonna let me go right now."

He's right I don't even care about the dirt and blood right now I just need to feel him.

"MC lets pick a movie and get you some food. We can even make that popcorn" Jessy says.

I glare at her and Dan sees "gezz its like trying to take a toy away from a child…. Im gonna head out as soon as they move."

Jake moves us from the door for Dan and Jessy takes it as a chance to pull me away from him and I get up and head to the bedroom to change clothes and plop on the couch crossing my arms.

Jake is still just getting up when I come back and he kisses me. He goes into my luggage and grabs his sweatpants and a tshirt he threw in there for this moment and goes to take a shower.

"MC, I've never seen you like this before. Whats going on?" Jessy says bringing the pizza, drinks, and popcorn in.

"I thought I was gonna lose him Jessy. Like you lost Richy. I can't handle that thought" I say as tears roll down my face.

"I know its a rough thought but your not alone and he's still here" she says hugging me.

I get up and stand waiting for him "look I know you loved Richy…. But this with Jake is different. I've never in my life felt so connected to someone before" I say as I turn towards her.

"I get it but you about smothered him," she says.

"He was fine, he would have told me to move. I know him Jessy, he needed that and more" iI say annoyed with her right now.

Jake comes out and with my back to him as im annoyed at Jessy wraps his arms around me

"No fighting you two. Lets watch the movie" he says as he pulls me to the couch and onto his lap.Jessy hits play as we eat.

After eating I must've fallen asleep in Jake's arms cause I wake up to a different movie on.

"Hi, glad to see you sleeping" he says.

"Having different meds is helping" I say as I move and see Jessy still on the couch "Jake can you grab me some water?" I ask.

"Yeah" he says getting up and heads to the kitchen.

"Jessy I'm sorry for how U acted before" I say.

"I know you love him but to say what you and him have is different from what I had with Richy hurts" she says.

"I know I was just over emotional having Jake back. When I fell asleep before and I woke up I had a dream he never returned and I was in pain and hungry" I say giving her a hug.

She hugs me back. Jake comes in with a glass of water and realizes we were having a heart to heart and sits down. She pulls away from me.

"Jake I told you that was a bad idea" she says with a giggle.

"I know but he would have killed her I'm certain and then i would have never been able to come back from that dark place" Jake says pulling me against him.

I look into his eyes and I still see it is not as bad as before as I see he's trying to calm it down himself.

"Where did it all go down?" I ask.

"I went into the woods and he tracked me. I didnt want him in that motel" he says.

"Can we go back?" I ask and he sees that look in my eyes.

He looks at Jessy "we're gonna head out so she doesn't fall asleep on the couch again" he says.

He goes and grabs my bags and once we're at his car he puts them in the backseat and pulls me against him. I instantly melt as I. look up at him.

"Can I double up on the meds?" I ask, feeling his hands grabbing my ass pulling me against him even more.

"If you need another dose early I'll take care of you," he growls in my ear.

The whole ride back his hand is squeezing my thigh which is making me flat out lose my mind. With everything that has happened these past few days we haven't had much time alone, since coming back out here and we both need each other.

He pulls up to the motel and we go inside. He puts my bags down and pins me against the wall. I forget everything else, all the pain in my back and the thought of almost losing him as I feel him kissing my neck.

"I need you, all of you" he growls.

"Please do, no boundaries tonight" I whimper at his touch.

He looks at me and I see a fire in his eyes "you sure?" He asks, looking into my eyes.

"Yes, if you're causing me too much pain I'll tell you" I say as I lean up and kiss him deep and passionately.

#duskwood #duskwoodlover #duskwood fanfiction #writing #fanfic #mc x jake #duskwood jake x mc #everbyte duskwood #duskwood fandom #jake duskwood

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scoreplings · 4 years

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im really about to start just killing people

#jesus Fucking christ <3 genuinely. genuinely wish i could off myself L.O.L.#leo.txt #hhnn now im all Pissed Off and Overheated which is making me More pissed off #going 2 go cry in a bathroom for ten mins and see if that helps 💕#edit: okay im crying in the bathroom now and i feel like im going insane #every fall my mental health tanks and so does hers #and she always takes it out on me #i dont have a single person im close to that doesnt treat me like shit and it sucks because i just. keep letting them do it #well. except for two i guess because i do try to defend myself with one and the other is my mom so like. i cant do anything about that one #but the other three just consistently treat me like shit and i dont Do anything about it #in the past year there’s been one person who actually was a good friend to me and i just. stopped talking to her because it scares me so bad #when people are that nice to me #i still feel guilty about it but i just kept waiting for her to be mean and it made me sick with anxiety everytime i saw her because i #couldnt believe that she was being genuine and there had to be some trick to it #ive never even dated anyone who didnt do something shitty to me. the nicest person dumped me over text at two in the morning after ghosting #me for six months with no explaination while still talking to all of our friends.#and i know thats probably not about me but i feel like. i just drive away anyone at all who’s nice because im so convinced it wont last #that theyre just tricking me or something #i rlly shouldnt tell this to people on this internet but. i cant tell anyone else because i cant think of a single person besides #my therapist who wouldnt make fun of me for it or go into a guilt spiral and maks me comfort them #so. on the internet it goes #i just keep thinking about how my current closest friend smacked me so hard they made me bleed multiple times and told me to kill myself #and how my other two close friends have bullied me to tears and then made fun of me for it. multiple times.#and i just keep letting them do it #whenever they bully me im just like. haha yeah im so stupid/annoying/ugly/whatever mean shit theyre saying and go along with it

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annab-nana · 4 years

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Who Is He - Colby Brock

While at a normal day of work, Y/n gets an influx of images of what looks like Colby all over another girl. Distraught, she leaves work, talks to her best friend, and goes home to deal with her “cheating” boyfriend.

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 2.6k+

--------------------------------------------------

"I'm going on break, Mel. See you in thirty!" I say as I grab my wallet and head out the door to the food court. Melanie waves at me before I exit. Mel and I both work at a boutique in the mall called EnEx, short for Envious Expressions. I have several work friends, but Mel and I are the closest.

I make it to the food court, grab me some Chinese food, and go back to EnEx to eat in the break room. As I eat, I scroll through my phone, replying to a few texts I received earlier while I was working.

Dev: Hey! What are you doing after work? I was wondering if you wanted to go get our nails done. I NEED to get mine done bad lol

Y/n: I so would but I don't get off until super late at 10:30. How about tomorrow?

Dev: Yesssss! See you tomorrow ❤️

Then I had some messages from Colby.

Colbs💜: im ready for you to be home

Y/n: It's only been a few hours, love

Colbs💜: a few hours too many

Y/n: You'll survive. If I can be without you for all these TFIL and XPLR trips, I'm pretty sure you can be without me while I'm at work.

Colbs💜: i know, you know i love you right?

Y/n: Yes babe, you remind me of that every chance you get. I love you too ❤️

Colbs💜: well i guess i'll let you get back to work baby, see you later

Y/n: Okay bye love

After that, I started scrolling through Instagram, liking several pictures from my friends and fan stuff of Colby and me. I loved that Colby's followers weren't super hateful towards me and our relationship. In the beginning, things were kind of rough but once people realized that I'm not going anywhere and am staying in Colby's life, the hate died down. Now people make edits of me and him both together and separately. Some people even have fan pages of just me, which is still so insane to me and crazy to think about. But I love to just scroll through the ones with me or Colby or the both of us and like the pictures or videos and read the stories. Lots of the stories were so interesting and well-written and some were spot on with our personalities or things we would say. I'm still not used to all of this and I don't think I will truly ever be.

My DMs are also filled with several fans messaging me and I love to talk back with them and get to know them and if I ever get to meet them, it makes the encounter so much better. I normally check them while I'm on my break so that's what I do. However, when I open them, I am not met with the typical fans' messages. I have several direct messages from fans and other random people sending me pictures. Each one I open brings more and more tears to my eyes.

Apparently, Colby was not at Jake’s filming a video as he had told me. He was at the bar and had his arm around another girl. Some pictures had them kissing and in others, they were hugging. Not in any of them could I see his face, but I could see the wolf and moon tattoos that were inked into his triceps clear as day.

Calming myself down was the hard part. I have no idea what to do. I grabbed a napkin and dried my tears before looking at Snapchat to see my reflection. I can't stay at work and focus on folding clothes and running the cash register while these pictures flutter around in my mind. Once I made sure it didn't look like I was just crying, I walked to my boss's door and knocked.

"Come in," Janine said quickly. I pushed the door slightly open and slipped in. Janine's hazel eyes glanced up from the papers she was shuffling through to meet mine. She could tell something was up with me and gestured towards the chair sitting in front of her desk

"What's wrong y/n?" Janine asked me as she set her papers to the side. She has always understood me, and I love that about her, even though it got on my nerves sometimes.

"Umm... I need to leave. Some personal stuff came up and I can't be here right now." I tell her in hopes she'll understand. She gives me a sad look before nodding her head.

"You can go. I'll call Sadie or Gracey to see if they can cover you and if they can't, I will. Do you want to tell me what's going on or do you want to head on home?" Her sweet voice asks me. I give her a small smile as I stand up.

"I'm going to go home now, but I'll tell you about it next week. Thank you," I say as she stands, and we hug. We say goodbye and I gather my things.

"Where do you think you're going?" I hear Mel chuckle from behind me.

"I'm going to Xepher's because my boyfriend is a piece of shit," I confess to her.

"Woah, what the fuck happened?" Mel grabs my shoulder to turn me around and the tears fill my eyes once again. I pull out my phone and show her the pictures. Her eyes widen as she goes through them all and then she turns my phone off.

"Oh y/n," she whispers before pulling me into her embrace. Her comforting hand runs up and down my back and we pull away from each other. "I've got to head back but go to Xepher's. Tell her I said hey and dump that loser. Love you, girl!" I hug her and grab my stuff before walking to my car.

Once I'm in my car, I let the tears flow as I make my way to my best friend's house. I pull in and walk to her door. My hand knocks against the wood door and my friend comes to it in response.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" She asked as she saw my tear-stained face and pulled me into her apartment. We walked into her living room where Griffin was.

"What happened?" Griffin asked as Xeph sat me down between the two. I explained everything to them and showed them the pictures. There was no denying that it was Colby in the photos.

"It's obvious that Colby doesn't appreciate you. You deserve so much better," Griffin told me as he wrapped his arms around me, comforting my sobbing self.

"I thought I had a good one, but Xeph, you have the best one out there. Don't let anything happen to him." The two chuckle at my response before getting serious again.

"So, what are you going to do?" Xepher asked me, grabbing my hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I kind of want to wait it out to see how long he is going to lie to me about it. But if he doesn't say anything in the next few days, then I'm just going to disappear for a week and get a much-needed vacation or something." Xepher gives me an understanding nod before I stand up.

"I'm going to head home now. It's about time for me to come home from work anyway. Wish me luck guys." I say before hugging them both and leaving to take the dreaded journey home.

I walk into my shared apartment with Colby and set my keys down on the counter. The house appears to be empty which makes me even angrier. Who is he out with now without me knowing? I walk past the living room and head to the bedroom.

"Y/n!" I hear Colby's voice ring from the office room. His footsteps approach me, and I feel his arms wrap around my waist and he plants tiny kisses all over the side of my face and neck. I almost forget everything and reciprocate the same feelings, but I hold back.

"Hey, I had a bad day at work and I really just want to shower and go to bed. Sorry, love," I tell him as I pull his arms away from me and walk into the bathroom. He follows and leans against the doorframe.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asks me, concern laced in this deep voice. I roll my eyes to myself and turn around to face him.

"Not right now. Maybe later?" I say and he nods. I close the door and turn to face my reflection in the mirror. I felt like I had no more tears left in me and I just looked sad. I stripped my clothes and took a long hot shower. I wrapped myself up in a towel and walked into our bedroom to find something to sleep in. Normally, I would wear one of Colby's shirts and some underwear to bed, but I decided to wear one of my oversized shirts and a pair of shorts. I left to go back to the bathroom and brushed through my hair. Then, I went back to our room and climbed into bed. As soon as I did, I heard his footsteps. I felt the bed dip next to me and soon, his arms found their way around my waist.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about what happened at work today?" Colby whispers in my ear as his hand rubs up and down my side.

"Yes Colby," I reply as I roll onto my stomach, attempting to fall asleep. I feel Colby scoot closer to me and whisper, "I know what will cheer you up."

That sentence is followed by the sensation of a pair of lips against my neck. I tried my best to ignore it, but that proved to be harder than I thought. I couldn't help the way he made me feel and right now, I hate myself for it. His trail of kisses traveled from my neck up to my cheek until they got close to my mouth.

"Colby, I don't want to do this right now," I mumble against his lips. He pulled away from me, sadness and confusion evident upon his face.

"Did I do something? I don't know why, but I'm getting this feeling that you're mad at me," Colby admitted. I rolled my eyes and let out an annoyed huff.

"Well gee, I wonder what gave you that impression," I responded, hearing the immense amount of sarcasm rolling off my tongue. The bitch in me was coming out, but the douche bag in him came out last night when his dumb ass cheated. The level of anger in me was at an all-time high. I don't think I ever been this angry and hurt by someone and the sad thing is that I thought Colby was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

"Y/n?" I hear his voice call out to me. I sit up and turn around to face him as I watch his face grow sad as he stares at me. A few tears had disobeyed me and fallen out of my eyes anyway.

"Why?" I ask him sincerely as the tears stream down. He reaches for my hand to soothe me, but I pull my hand away, placing it in my lap.

"Why what? I don't know what happened. Why you're so upset?" he questioned. That ticked me off. He knows exactly what he did. I rose to my feet and stood by the window, gazing out of it and watching people walk by. They look so happy. I wish I was as happy as they appeared to be.

"Colby, you know what you did. It's all over Instagram and everyone's been dming me about it. Don't play dumb. It's not a cute look on you." I stated. I could practically feel the anger coursing through my veins. I felt like I could actually explode at any given moment.

By the look on his face, I could tell he was taken back. I've never acted like this around him because he has never given me a good reason to. I don't normally behave this way unless someone seriously pisses me off.

"Y/n, I am being completely honest when I say this, but I have no fucking clue what you are talking about. Will you please just tell me what I did?" he pleaded. My eyes automatically roll again as I reach for my phone that was sitting on the bedside table and open the sunset-colored app. I open my direct messages which have new messages about the subject and toss it to him.

"Explain that," I demand as I fold my arms across my chest and resume my stare out the window. I hear a hum come from him and my gaze becomes fixated on him again.

"That's not me," he tells me as he places my phone down in front of him on the bed.

"What the fuck do you mean it's not you? It looks just like you. The dark hair. A black shirt with black jeans which was what you were wearing last night when you went off to... Where was it you said you went? Oh yeah, filming at Jake’s. I've been to his place and it doesn't look like that. And the fucking moon and wolf tattoos, Colby. How is that not you?" I basically scream at him.

"Did you see my face?" He asks calmly.

"No, but Colby everything else-" I start but he cuts me off.

"DID you see my face?" He reiterates. I let out a sigh of defeat and shake my head.

"No," I almost whisper.

"Do you want me to call Jake and ask him if I was with him last night? Do you want me to ask Kat if he saw me with Jake at Ralph's last night? Do you want me to dm Luke and ask him if he was at the bar last night?" Colby questions me.

"Who's Luke?" I ask him and he grabs my phone before showing me a picture that he had posted on his secret account on Instagram. The image had Colby and another guy, Luke I'm assuming, and they both had the wolf and moon tattoos on the back of their arms. From behind, they look the exact same. Well, I feel like shit.

"You don't have to call anyone. I believe you. I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions and didn't think." I said as I looked down at the ground. I feel like such a piece of garbage. Colby walked up to me and pulled me into his forgiving embrace. There, I broke into tears. I felt so bad for just assuming that he would do that when I know he wouldn't.

"Hey it's okay. I would have thought the same thing. We look almost identical from that angle. At least I know not to mess with you now, " he laughed which got a small giggle from me.

"I don't want to lose you. That's what I was afraid of, that I had already lost you." I confess as I cry into his chest.

"Y/n, baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere," he says, and I pull away from him, only to go in for a kiss.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips, going back in for more.

"I love you more," he whispers back, and a blush rose to my cheeks.

"Now how about you cheer me up the only way you know how?" I whisper seductively in his ear. A cheeky grin spreads across his face and he nods. Picking up where he left off, his lips travel from my lips to my ear where his nibbles on it lightly before whispering in it.

"Maybe Luke should go out more often if it ends up like this."

#colby #Sam and Colby #colby brock #cute colby #cute colby brock #colby brock imagine #colby brock x reader #fanfic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #y/n #xplr #TRAPHOUSE #jake webber #xepher wolf #devyn lundy #katrina stuart #cole robert brock #griffin jarosinski

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

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you make me feel like I'm loved

well well well

I finished my writing homework and decided to write a little something of my own. its based off a song buts its Fairly Obvious so I'm not saying which one hehe

____

ship: ralbert

genre: hurt comfort

warnings: anxiety attack, talk about death/death trigger, ummm, like half a sentence of potentially suicidal thoughts, loud music, race is a good boyfriend okay

words: 1196

editing: nahhh

____

Well, this was not how Albert had been expecting to spend his 19th birthday. Mush had decided to throw him a huge party at the diner his aunt owned, closing early and everything just for the occasion, despite the fact that Albert had insisted many times that he did not like his birthday and he especially did not like parties. Mush clearly had not listened. His boyfriend Blink was DJing some trashy pop crap that Albert had also insisted (many times) that he did not like. Blink and Mush could be horrendously stubborn when they wanted to be.

So, in hindsight, Albert really should have really expected the fact that he was going to spend his 19th birthday in the bubblegum pink bathroom at Mush’s Aunt’s diner. By himself. Having an anxiety attack.

What a way to ring in his last year of teenagerdom.

“C’mon DaSilva,” he muttered as he gripped the sink as if that would be able to reestablish his grip on reality. “Get a fuckin grip.” However, his dumb mind decided to process this as grip the sink tighter and not reality. Fuckin figures.

With a frustrated sigh he let go of the sink, opting instead to play with the increasingly uncomfortable bowtie that Race had made him put on. He hated bow ties. He never wore them. The only one that he owned was from his 10th grade play when he had to play the hostess at a very fancy restaurant. And it was Chartreuse green.

He tugged at the bowtie uncomfortably, his rough movements greatly contrasting Race’s earlier gentle ones. At the sudden thought of his boyfriend Albert slammed his hands back down onto the sink to avoid collapsing onto the floor.

He was older now. Being older meant being closer to death. He was going to die sooner. And leave everyone behind. Leave Race behind. How could Race even be with him, how could he look at him much less kiss him when he knew that one day he would just cease to exist and leave him behind, especially since it was bound to be sooner rather than later because if he was just going to die anyway than why not just do it-

“Stop” he said through gritted teeth, forcing himself to try to take a few deep breaths. At some point during his concentration, his hands became unclenched from the sink and his knees gave out as he plopped onto the floor as he began tapping on his upper thighs. It helped, but still the very thought of having to go back out to the party made him want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Eventually he came to the conclusion that he was going to have to sneak out the back. That was alright. He didn’t fit in with his friends here anyway and they wouldn’t miss him, probably wouldn’t even notice that he was gone to be honest. He was just the forgettable, disposable friend. So much so that no one would notice if he deserted his own damn birthday party.

Slowly, Albert worked at dragging himself up off of the floor, willing his numb legs to cooperate with him. The back exit was just down the hall from the bathroom, he could make it, probably. He put his hand on the wall to steady himself and was about to walk toward the exit when he remembered that he had left his phone at the table. Groaning loudly, he turned around to make his way back to the table.

He braced himself for the loud music as he entered the diner once again, fully planning to make a beeline for first his phone and then the backdoor, but his plan was foiled by an overenthusiastic Romeo thrusting a glass of something - maybe chocolate milk - into his hand and screaming loudly about something. Albert’s whole body froze in shock, concentrating on nothing except not dropping the glass in his hands.

He must have been concentrating really, really hard because the next thing he knew Race was taking the glass from his hand and downing it, Romeo nowhere to be found.

Albert jumped a little bit, both at the shock of Race taking the glass and Race himself. Shouldn't Race hate him now that he was older? Why was he still here? Why-

But before Albert’s thoughts could take over again, he felt Race’s hand take his own shaking one. When had his hand started shaking? Race had his trademark smirk on his face, although Albert could see in his eyes that he knew something was off. However, that didn't stop him from mouthing Shall we dance? and quirking one eyebrow in question.

Albert found himself nodding despite his numb legs, something about his boyfriend’s presence calming him, and Race led him to the center of the diner where Mush had pushed back all of the tables to form a makeshift dance floor. Head still clouded with unwanted thoughts, Albert found it slightly difficult to focus on his surroundings, but he was able to discern that Blink must have out on a slow song due to the swaying couples he was just able to make out around him.

He allowed Race to place his floppy limbs around his neck, trusting his instinct that was telling him Race wouldn’t do anything he wasn't comfortable with. In a matter of a few short seconds, his head was pressed against the crook of Race’s neck and they were swaying back and forth to music that Albert could hardly hear.

Slowly, Albert’s insecurities melted away as he focused on simple things such as the texture of Race’s button down shirt, the scent of his cologne, and the lyrics of the song Blink was playing which seemed to consist exclusively of the words “I got you, it’s alright.”

It took Albert several moments to realize that that was not actually the song, but his boyfriend whispering in his ear.

Sighing contentedly, Albert let the last of his negative thoughts slip away as he lifted his head to gently kiss Race’s lips.

He felt Race smile against him. “Hey, there’s my handsome boyfriend,” he murmured, just loud enough for Albert to hear above the music.

“Sorry,” Albert muttered. “I don't know what happened.”

Race seemed entirely unbothered. “It’s okay. I’m glad I was able to help you though. I didn't want you to leave before you got to eat your cake.”

Albert exhaled against Race’s shoulder, a knowing silence passing between the two of them.

“Thank you,” he finally said.

He felt Race pull away slightly. “For what?”

“For making me feel like I’m loved.”

“Oh, Albie,” Race sighed. “I do love you. And so does everyone else here, no matter what that silly head of yours tells you alright? I love you, and I’ll love you no matter what age you are.”

Of course his boyfriend had figured out what had caused his earlier breakdown. Albert couldn't help but feel like a small child as he pulled back to look up at Race. “You promise?”

“Pinky promise,” Race said, kissing his forehead.

Suddenly, being 19 didn't sound too terrible after all.

____

aww my boys

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#saphie scribbles #newsies #newsies fic #ralbert #racetrack higgins #Albert dasilva #theyre cute okay #race is a good boyfriend #I want a race

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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

Text

stab stab

tonights spies thing

all other spies things and the whole series is under #spy boys

tonight the bois are young lil 17 year olds pre fbi

______

genre: sorta angsty comfort

warnings: smol stab, bad parents, blood, I guess panic attack, crying, Albert plays minecraft

editing: I wrote this during English and seminar heck no

words: theyre there

______

“You’re such a disappointment, get out of my sight.”

Race fought back his tears as he turned on his heel and strode out of the room, head held high. There was no reason for him to let his father see him vulnerable, that would just make it worse in the end.

He kept up his strong stance, not minding the blood that was dripping from his arm onto the nice, fancy carpeting his mom loved so much. Screw the carpeting, the maid would clean it later.

As soon as he got to his room, his facade crumbled and tears began to leak out of his eyes as he haphazardly threw random clothes into his backpack and climbed out of the window onto the fire escape. Then he threw his backpack onto the fire escape on the building next door before expertly climbing onto it and throwing open the window to Albert’s room.

Thankfully, Albert was in his room. Not thankfully, he had his headphones on and was playing minecraft so he didn't see Race ungracefully tumble into his room.

Race didn't have the energy to go over and talk to Albert, so he resolved himself to crying his eyes out and cradling his bleeding forearm.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, maybe hours, maybe minutes, maybe years, until the loud white noise in his ears began to fade and a concerned voice echoed in his head.

“Racer?”

It was Albert. He was sure of it.

“Racer, hun, can you hear me?”

Race nodded slowly.

“Alright hun, I need you to focus on me, just me okay?”

Race nodded again.

Albert hesitated and Race knew that he was preparing himself to touch him. Albert was not good with touch, but it was one of the only ways to calm Race down effectively and he was clearly having a mental battle over what to do. Apparently helping Race won because he gingery grasped Race’s hands, and nudged Race’s jaw with his shoulder slightly so that they were looking at each other.

Almost immediately, Race began to feel himself calm down as he stared at Albert through a watery haze. Albert smiled at him encouragingly.

“That’s it hun,” Albert soothed. “You're doing great. Now i need you to take a deep breath alright? Do it with me.”

Albert sucked in an over exaggerated breath and Race followed suit, albeit a little shakily. He held it for a few seconds, matching Albert, before exhaling. Albert patiently repeated the process several times before Race squeezed his hand.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Albert responded, letting go of Race’s hands and pulling his own close to his body. Then he caught sight of Race’s still bleeding forearm for seemingly the first time.

“Did he do that to you?” Albert asked slowly.

Race knew who he meant. “No,” he said and Albert let out a breath. “I took the ally shortcut home like usual after dance and two weird guys were in there and they attacked me. One of them got me with a knife but I fought them off. I think I’m okay.”

Albert flipped Race’s arm toward him and studied it for a minute, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “It doesn’t look that bad,” he said after a minute. “I don’t think you need to go to the hospital, but I’m going to fix you up.”

He stood up and Race followed, knowing that there was no way to talk him out of this, and the two of them headed to the bathroom.

Race hopped up on the counter and watched as Albert began to clean the cut, taking extra care to be gentle but also making sure he did everything precisely. His face was screwed up in concentration, but he broke every time Race winced or flinched or moaned slightly in favor of making sure Race was okay.

FInally, the two of them headed back to Albert’s room and Race laid down on the bed, completely shot. Even though his eyes were closed, he could feel Albert looking at him.

“What is it Albie?” he said into the pillow.

“Um,” Albert hesitated. “Do you want me to hold you? I know you like that.”

Race opened his eyes and looked up at his friend. “You hate touching people.”

“I know,” Albert fidgeted slightly. “But I’ve been getting better and I think I could handle holding you cause I know you're not going to hurt me.”

Race was too tired to argue and he patted the bed next to him. Albert lay down and Race curled into his chest as Albert hesitantly put his arm around him.

“You let me know it this is too much, okay?” Race mumbed sleepily.

“I know,” Albert whispered, gently rubbing Race’s back. “Sleep hun, I got you.”

Race dozed off, very much not okay, but safe in Albert’s arms.

_______

awww look at them

will I ever be nice to them in this series

the answer is no

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#saphie scribbles #didnt spell it wrong that time #spy boys #Albert dasilva #racetrack higgins #theyre so sad #good thing they run away from home

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