#eddie leaning in for a romantic kiss and then frank just fucking bites him
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science brain vs hopeless romantic brain, who will win
#picturing them both going for it at the same time#eddie leaning in for a romantic kiss and then frank just fucking bites him#peak humor. to Me.#scribble salad#welcome home#franklydear#one last scribble before bed.... one more meme....#the sun is Up but i stay doodling#except not anymore bc im gonna go be unconscious#and hope my dreams chill the fuck out because honestly what even was the other night. what was that.#im Used to death dreams but jeebus criminy on a crisis cracker.#didn't even get to taste the salmon morsels either smh
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a continuation of the rocky horror commission from yesterday!
read chapter 1
“Creature of the Night”
Chapter 2: Giving in to the Madness
***
However, the next morning, Frank was not in his bedroom.
Columbia’s daily duties began with rousing Frank from his slumbers, first and foremost. But when she rapped on the door lightly with her knuckles and received no response, Columbia’s throat tightened with nerves.
“Frank?”
There was no response.
Columbia gently, ever so slowly opened the door to his bedroom and was genuinely surprised to see the bed empty. In fact, Frank’s king-sized bed was still made up from the day before. She knew this because she was the one who made it up, every single day.
She stepped back into the corridor and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Frank?”
Her voice reverberated through the castle and her heart sank when there was no response. Well, there was one response.
“Columbia, quiet your racket!” Riff Raff snapped from down the hall. He was scowling, as usual.
“Have you seen Frank lately?”
Riff Raff glared back at her. “No. Master has not visited the kitchen for his morning tea yet.”
Columbia cursed under her breath before turning on her heels. She tore down the staircase, almost falling down the last few steps, and turned the corner toward the basement.
The wooden steps creaked as she quickly descended them. “Frank?”
The silence made her increasingly worried, so much so that she didn’t even knock before entering his treasured lab.
And there he was.
Frank was collapsed on the cold, cement floor of his lab, unconscious but shivering. He was curled up on his side and had apparently tugged his crisp, white lab coat over himself as a means of warmth.
Columbia rushed to his side and placed a delicate hand on his forehead. She wasn’t very surprised when she felt the heat rising from his skin. But she did feel guilty.
“Frank?” She shook his shoulders gently, then harder when he didn’t wake immediately. “Frank!”
His tremendous eyelashes fluttered open. “Oh, hello darling.”
“Frank, why are you on the floor?” Columbia asked, alarmed. She eventually succeeded in tugging him into a sitting position.
Unfortunately, sitting up caused his sinuses to prickle and he snapped forward with two, ticklish sneezes. “Hh’RDSCHOO! Huhhh… h-hah! Hah’SZSHHHOO!”
Frank gasped again, nostrils quivering as he was on the edge of another gut-wrenching sneeze. The feeling quickly dissipated and he sniffed disapprovingly.
“Bless you, love,” Columbia whispered, petting at Frank’s face. “You’ve caught my cold, haven’t you?”
Frank tried to shake his head, but as he did, his plump, red lips stretched into a yawn-turned-sneeze. “HPFSSHSH!” He managed to pinch his nostrils shut, but the sneeze escaped anyway.
“Oh, Frank,” she murmured, helping him stand. “I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head, smiling. “Columbia, darling, it’s not your fault. My kind are not usually so s-susceptible to suhhh… s-such diseases,” he stammered, quickly placing a forefinger under his trembling nose.
“God, I’m so full of cold,” he snuffled miserably.
Columbia hated seeing him this way.
“Why don’t you lie down? I’ll take you up to your bedroom. I can take care of you, Frank. I can.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “I don’t want them to see me like this. It’s humiliating.”
She knew by them he meant the others — Riff Raff, Eddie, Magenta — and she understood perfectly. Although, she thought, a lab was not an ideal place to take care of someone suffering from a nasty cold.
“But are you positive? I’m sure I could sneak up there somehow, and we could—”
Frank laughed, a harsh barking sound, thanks to his illness. “Sneak me up there? While I’m a sneezing, sniveling mess?” He scoffed. “I’m disgusting and they’ll all know it.”
“You’re not disgusting,” she argued, taking his hand. “You’re sick.”
He shrugged. “Close ehhh… e-enough.”
“But, I mean, you can’t stay in this drafty old lab overnight. You’ll only get worse. And there’s nowhere for you to sleep!”
“Actually,” he began before coughing weakly into his hand. “Actually there’s a cot in the back room.”
“A cot?”
Frank nodded. “I do sometimes rest here, Columbia.”
She dragged the dusty cot out of a closet into the main lab, per Frank’s request. Surely he’d change his mind and follow her upstairs, into the warmth of his large bed.
“Do you have any blankets?”
Frank opened his mouth to answer her, but snapped his head away to sneeze wetly to the side. “H-huhh… huh! Hh’WRHFFFHH!”
“Bless you,” she said, rubbing his back.
He shivered and nodded. “There are some b-blankets in the corner.”
He felt miserable.
Frank crawled onto the cot, suddenly aware of how weak he felt. Not being able to do exactly what he wanted, when he wanted frightened him. But his fear began to dissipate as he felt Columbia’s comforting touch on his face.
“Hmm. You’re still warm.”
“That’s what a fever does, dearie.”
She rolled her eyes. “I know. Please, just lay down.”
Her heart sank as she watched him try to settle himself in the cot. Columbia gently draped a grey afghan over him and stared into his glassy eyes. “You feeling bad?”
Frank laughed sharply. “Oh, well, it’s not like I’ll perish right here.”
“That’s not what I’m asking.”
He sniffled, rubbing his tickling nose on his wrist. “I just w-wihhh… w-wish my nose didn’t — heh’TSHUHHH! Hep’SHAHHH! — didn’t itch so horribly,” he said, blinking back tears that his sinuses brought to his eyes.
“Oh, baby,” Columbia murmured, kissing the top of his forehead. “You poor thing.”
Frank hated to admit it, because he was usually solidly dominant, but he was starting to enjoy his role as the helpless victim. Seeing Columbia in charge gave him warm, electric feelings, even though he felt achy, sniffly and miserable.
“Huh’RHFFFSSHHHH!” The sneeze ripped through him and some part of Columbia was beginning to enjoy this too.
“Bless you,” she said, slyly kissing him on the tip of his nose.
“C-Columbia,” Frank stuttered, panicked. “D-don’t! My n-nose!”
He took in a large, shuddering gasp before sneezing helplessly into his hands. “I’ve got to— Hh’RRDSSCHHH! H-huh’RFSHHHH!”
She pressed a handkerchief into his trembling hands and he buried his face in it, partly due to his own embarrassment and partly due to his need to blow his nose.
Frank snuffled into it, feeling his cheeks and ears turn red again. Fuck this human emotion called humiliation.
“Ugh, I’m so full of cold,” he complained, lower lip jutting out as he pouted.
Columbia stroked his face and studied it. The earthy tones on his eyelids, his thick, arched brows. She wondered to herself how one being could be so expressive without actively saying anything at all.
“Oh, I know,” she said, not sure what else she could say at this point. I’m sorry?
Frank sat up, sniffling. “Honey, I simply can’t last like this for very much longer.” He scrubbed at the tip of his nose with the palm of his hand, trying to alleviate that infuriating, persistent itch.
While he was distracted, Columbia took her chance. She leaned into him, kissing at his jawbone before eventually finding his lips. And to her relief (and joy), Frank didn’t break away — he welcoming the contact with open arms.
In fact, Frank was thirsty for this romantic connection. It had been far too long since he’d had such contact with another, let alone a human. Transylvanians were much fun, of course — the constant flow of lust, the need for sex, the hunger for it — but humans were much more emotionally raw. And true, unpardoned emotion was something with which Frank sustained himself on.
“Frank,” Columbia moaned, biting at his lower lip.
He grabbed her shoulder, his hand blindly groping for her breast. “Darling, d-don’t stop.”
Unfortunately, he felt his eyes water with the need to sneeze and knew that as he was infected with a horrible headcold, that need would be impossible to stop.
Columbia felt his chest expand — heard his dramatic, surprised gasp — and her heart sank as he shakily pushed her away.
“A-apologies, dearest — hh’ASHHHOO! PSHHHOO!” He sneezed freely to the side in a full-bodied double.
“Bless you,” she said, breathless. He looked so beautiful in this helpless, desperate manner.
Frank was usually so effortlessly composed. Whenever he smirked, she could see hints of brilliant white, and of course his teeth were perfect. Now, his eyes seemed to droop with exhaustion and there were dark circles under his equally dark pupils. His twitching nostrils frequently gave him away and Columbia began to realize that she liked seeming him this way. Not weak per se, but uncomfortable — uncertain, even.
“Oh, I do feel quite disgusting,” Frank said, massaging the bridge of his nose gently. “I’m sorry you have to see me this way, Columbia.”
She shook her head. “Frank, you can’t help it. It’s not your fault.”
He signed, tired of it all suddenly. “You know, I’m going to go upstairs, darling.”
Frank stood up suddenly, towering over his companion, who was still kneeling by his cot. She watched him stand, then noticed him swaying. “Frank?”
His eyes were glazed over and he seemed to be staring out in front of him, at something she couldn’t see. “Frank, look at me.”
Instead, he swayed once more before crumpling to the laboratory’s cold floor.
“Frank!” she shouted, desperately trying to pull him back to his feet.
Upon realizing this would be impossible, Columbia managed to get his unconscious form back into the cot. She felt his forehead, which was unbearably warm.
“Oh, Frank,” she murmured, touching his cheek.
Columbia began removing Frank’s lab coat and clothes until he was clad only in his underwear. She gently unclasped his favorite pearl necklace and set it aside.
Hurrying now, she quickly located the lab’s sink and faucet, and turned it on, letting the cold stream of water wet the cloth she held in her hand. Columbia returned to her love’s side and dabbed at his temple with the cool washcloth before folding it and placing it on his heated brow.
“Frank,” she whispered, trying to rouse him from his sleep. “Frank, please wake up.”
Columbia was brushing his black, unruly curls back from his forehead when he opened his eyes, slowly blinking.
“Columbia?” he croaked, coughing lightly.
She nodded and was surprised to feel tears in her eyes. She obediently blinked them away. “Yes, it’s me. I’m here.”
“What… where am I?”
“You’re in your lab, I— you’re sick,” she stammered, running her thin fingers through his hair. “But it’s alright now. We’re just brining your fever down.”
Frank inhaled shakily, coughing again. “Oh, it hurts. My muscles, they ache.”
“It’s probably the flu,” Columbia told him, stroking his cheek. “You’re alright.”
“I feel horribly cold,” he told her, his teeth chattering. “I’m not fevered, I’m cold.”
Columbia kissed the top of his eyebrow, still touching his cheek gently. “I know. I’ll make it better.”
She felt a shiver course through his body and she suddenly felt guilty. Was this her fault? Columbia continued to touch him, gently as usual, and Frank felt his body light up. It was as if all his nerves were suddenly so alive — so full of life itself — that he could feel every last brush of her fingertips on his skin. Without realizing it, he moaned her name.
“Yes?” she asked, expectantly.
“I wish,” he began, but his breath caught as the tip of her finger accidentally brushed his cold-ridden nose.
“C-Columbia,” he stuttered, sitting up in alarm. “I h-hahh… h-have to— huh’RHHHSSHHOO! Hahhh… h-hahH!”
Frank’s face fell as the sneeze dissipated. “Apologies, love, I thought I still had to…”
He trailed off as the need to sneeze returned full force and Frank turned away with another, drawn-out, torturous sneeze. “H-huh… hehhh… h-hih’HRRISCH!”
He straightened his back, sighing with satisfaction. “There’s sobethig aboud a good sdeeze that feels… electrifying,” he said thickly, sniffling.
“Oh, baby, you sound awful,” Columbia cooed. “You still feel cold?”
Frank nodded, snuffling into the back of his wrist. “I do.”
She wrapped the fuzzy afghan around his shoulders and wasn’t surprised when he shook with another thunderous sneeze.
“Hah’RRSCHOO!”
“Bless you!” Columbia murmured, placing her head in his lap. “I’m sorry I did this to you.”
Normally, Frank would tease Columbia until he could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes, just to provoke her into showing some true emotion. Some emotion that he, oddly enough, envied. But he could tell tonight that his condition was taking some toll on her and Frank sensed she felt… guilty.
He waved his hand dismissively. “I don’t kdow whad you’re talkig about,” Frank said, congested. “If anyone, I’b sure Riff Raff had something to do with this.”
Columbia smiled and laughed lightly. “Maybe.”
She placed her hand innocently on his crotch and then changed her mind, climbing into the cot with him. Normally, two beings wouldn’t be able to fit comfortably on one cot, but Frank’s cot was exceptionally long, given his impressive build, and luckily for Columbia, she was petite enough to fit in with him.
Columbia laid next to him and put her head on his chest. She was so close to him, Frank could smell her scent, even as congested and stuffed up as he was. The smell of lavender and rose water drifted up toward his nostrils, teasing and tickling his already irritated sinuses. He sighed shakily, willing himself not to sneeze and ruin this quiet moment that he didn’t usually get to experience.
She felt the steady rise and fall of Frank’s chest and noticed a hitch — an extra, desperate inhale in — and knew what was coming. But as usual, he tried to warn her.
“B-babe, I have to sdehhh… sd-deeze ahh… agaid,” he told her shakily, the corners of his lips pulling back into a tortured snarl. “H-hihhhh… hh’DSSCHHHHUH!”
“Bless—”
Columbia was interrupted by another hitching gasp from Frank, who did his best to turn his head away from her pleading eyes.
“E-ehh… heh’TDSSCHHHUH!” He snatched the handkerchief and shakily put it up to his quivering nostrils.
To Frank’s surprise, he felt Columbia’s small, soft hand over his, holding the embroidered piece of cloth to his trembling nose, desperate for a reprieve. “H-hahh… ahhH! Hoo.”
He exhaled, somewhat defeated. “Id’s sduck.”
Columbia willed herself not to smile, but did so anyway. “It is?”
Frank nodded, snuffling miserably into the handkerchief. Columbia continued stroking his face and mischievously petted at his red nose. Frank’s nostrils flared at the touch and his eyes opened in panic.
“D-doe, Columbia! D-Dod’t! I’b godda— hehhh… h-hihHH!”
She delicately placed a finger under Frank’s quivering nostrils and give his nose a deliberate rub before pressing up again his nostrils. It felt good to be in control in some way with Frank. He was always so domineering, so in control, that it was empowering to experience their roles, reversed.
“Better?” she asked innocently.
Frank was afraid to move too much, certain he was on the verge of sneezing all over her in what was sure to be a disgusting display. “Y-yes,” he choked out, still fighting the need to sneeze. Damn this cold.
Columbia slowly removed her finger and the pressure she was putting on his pink-tinged nostrils, begging for release.
“Th-thags,” he told her shakily, deeming it finally safe to attempt to breathe through his nose again.
“Of course,” Columbia responded, closing her eyes and leaning down to kiss the tip of his cold-sensitive nose. She opened her eyes to see Frank struggling against a losing battle. His red lips were slightly parted as he gasped, lost in the beginnings of a hitching fit.
Frank’s eyelids fluttered shut against his will as he reared back to sneeze. He sucked in a sharp breath and buried his face into the closest thing to him: the afghan currently draped over his shoulders.
“H-hehh… hih! DSSZZHHHCHOO! Hah... ehhH! TDZSCHHHUH!”
“G-god,” he choked out, in the midst of an intense sneezing fit. “Heh’ESSSZSHOO!”
Columbia’s heart was racing after witnessing quite possibly the most erotic sneezing fit she’d ever seen anyone experience. “Bless you,” she said, sincerely.
Frank was still panting. “Th-thags, love.”
He laid back down, breath still hitching until it was quiet again. He let out a soft sigh that was punctuated with a liquid sniffle. “I’b dot sure how humads deal with this so — hahhhH! — so often,” he said thickly.
Columbia smiled fully, looking up at Frank. “Oh, there are ways to forget how miserable you feel,” she assured him.
“Oh, so the sdudent dow becomes the t-teacher,” Frank stammered, amused. “Columbia, darling, you dever f-fahhh… f-fail to surprise be.”
“Never?” she asked innocently, letting her hand trail down his clenched abdominal muscles, down, down, down to his tight underwear until she allowed herself to stop upon feeling the bulge in his garments.
Frank swallowed, surprised at her touch, and once again found himself gasping for air. How could such a simple touch leave him like this? A sweating, shivering mess, almost powerless to her touch.
He groaned as she worked at him and almost couldn’t believe Columbia had this effect on him. But then again, he wasn’t that surprised. Her fiery red pixie cut was proof enough for him.
Columbia continued to touch him and slipped her hand under the waistband of his underwear. She heard him audibly gasp and assumed it was because of the sheer pleasure he was feeling. He shuddered and she felt his chest rise as his breath began hitching. Oh. It wasn’t from her touching, it was from—
“H-heh’TDSSCHHHUH!” Frank let out a ferocious sneeze that tore through his frame.
He moaned as Columbia continued to pleasure him, then let out another shivery sneeze.
“H-hih’DSSZZHHHCHOO! Ah’TDZSCHHHUH!”
“Bless you,” Columbia told him again, kissing him.
***
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#in which frank has a horrible cold and columbia cares for him#next up in unpopular snz fandoms#snz#snez#snzblr#snezblr#sneezefic#snzfic#snezfic#sneezeblr#sneeze kink#snz kink#rockysnz
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