#dream: he's the one who taught me snitches get stitches | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moderndaypandora · 1 year

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I love every "Death set Dream up with Hob on purpose" headcanon, and I love "actually I was planning to throw Chaucer at you but I can wing it pretty damn well and, once I heard Hob call me stupid, I knew, yeah that's going to be Dream's boyfriend". It takes a village (or an older sister) to get Dream a boyfriend.

Now, I'm picturing the entire Endless family blindsided when Dream comes to a family dinner like "I GOT MARRIED! LIKE TWO MINUTES AFTER THE LAST DINNER--" "That was a literal century ago?!"  "-- YEAH. WE'RE DOING A VOW RENEWAL."

Not a single sibling clocked this. Not even Destiny.

Destiny, out loud: it was an unlikely path in my book, so I didn't give it much attention  Destiny, in his head: honestly I started speed-reading/skimming through Dream's love life paragraphs because watching him crash and burn and cause massive body counts just seemed so... repetitive and predictable?

Death: knowing our brother, I was carefully managing my expectations and was just glad he was still doing the century meetups last time I'd checked. Good for him, managing to stay with somebody for a century, that outstrips his last relationship by ... like 7 decades. Kind of offended I wasn't invited to this wedding, kind of not planning to say anything?

Desire: At this point, I stick my fingers in my ears and go "lalalalalala" whenever I hear anything about Dream and want, either him wanting or somebody wanting him, because Death said I had to stop making fun of him for how disproportionate his Yearn to Act Ratio was, and any ammunition I can't use is just ... irritating. I figured if anything really changed, my twin would tell me about his descent into misery.

Despair: He was less miserable, but I assumed it was a fluke and he'd return to his normal equilibrium eventually. And it's not like my twin let me know he'd managed to successfully want AND obtain something?

Destruction is Sir Not Appearing In This Picture.

And Delirium had more important things to think about than her brother's sad love life, like would flying fish fired out of confetti cannons be considered birds until they landed?

Meanwhile all denizens of the Dreaming are never not aware that Dream is happily married, because the weather has been perfect for years and the throne room stained glass is some variation of Hob and Dream being lovey-dovey.

Lucienne: If I see them necking in the stacks ever again I will be forced to take action, and Lord Morpheus is aware of that fact, but we haven’t had a library flood in 103 years, so overall we’re pleased.

#silly nonsense #the sandman #dreamling #dream's love life is a car accident that everybody sees coming and either goes 'AGAIN?' or prepares popcorn for #and he's very aware of that fact #which is why he's like 'can we keep this private for a little while? not ashamed of you #just very aware of how my siblings will react. a lot of wincing and bet placing'#hob: your family places bets?#dream: yeah. destiny keeps a record of all wagers but doesn't take part since he's omniscient #hob: so isn't he already aware we're married?#dream: he's the one who taught me snitches get stitches #dream: and he errs on the side of 'if you don't already know #i shouldn't tell you'#(#destiny: mother didn't raise us to snitch #desire: mother didn't raise us at alll #)#dream: so he'll keep quiet because it's not his business #hob: alright but we're wearing wedding rings and if anybody asks we're not denying we're married #dream: [touched that hob's so emphatic that they're married]#idek what century this is happening in #it'd be funny if it's 18th or 19th #therefore there'd be no quarrel in 1889 #but if dream got fishbowled hob would be out for blood

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domesticsns · 4 years

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What happened to the dude who kinda made a phone call to Tobirama and threatened to kill him in a way worse than Tobirama's brother die?

It was A thursday night when Naruto came home from a teacher meeting. He was planning on watching some TV, eat some left over dinner from last night and hopefully get some booty from his husband once he came home from his brother’s. He turns the lights of the apartment on a freezes when he sees the window where the fire escape was open. He sees splashes of blood on the floor, making it’s way to the bathroom. His heart start beating faster and he carefully approached the bathroom, the curtain around the tub was pulled closed. Naruto slowly walks towards it. He sees the blood on the floor. He pulls the curtains away and he was about to scream if the face wasn’t familiar to him.

“Tobirama?” Naruto looks at the blood under under him. The man looks paler than usual, there were red rings under his eyes and he looks beat up. A bruise on his cheekbone, his hair was messy, his leg was impaled by a knife.

“The fuck happened to you? Holy shit! What are you doing here? Why are you not in a hospital!? I should call an ambulance-”

Tobirama pressed his finger weakly against Naruto’s lips, giving him a weak smile calling him a pussy. He asks where Sasuke is.

Naruto, not believing this is really happening to him, tells him Sasuke is at his brother and Tobirama sighed.

“I’ll settle with you then. Grab me his medical kit.” Tobirama says.

“You mean the first aid kit-”

“No the medical kit. With the morphine and the surgical tools.” Tobirama clearifies.

“We don’t have that. Itachi is the doctor!” Naruto says. “Let me bring you to a hospital, dude.”

“No hospital!” Tobirama hisses, “He has it. I am sure he has it. Look pff...a place you can’t find it..Look under the washing machine...”

Naruto feels an imaginary brick hit his head. So, Tobirama knows about his bad habits....He reluctantly looks under the washing machine and pulls out a machete. He mutters that he had talked to Sasuke about it. He looked further under it and feels some box taped under the washer. He pulls it out and sees it is indeed a medical kit. He looks at Tobirama giving him a thumbs up. It was painful to see he actually knew Sasuke better than him.

He opens the box and feels a bigger brick hit his head seeing some top notch surgical tools, a small bottle of morphine, needles. He hands Tobirama the needle a belt and the bottle of morphine and sees him inject himself with it a soft moan escaping his lips as he says that that was the shit he needed. He became quiet for a moment and Naruto shakes him slightly and Tobirama opened his eyes again and looked a little confused.

“You got stabbed...” Naruto remind him and Tobirama looks down his leg and remember and laughs. Stating he almost forgot.

Naruto hears the door of the apartment open and close and an immediate concerned voice of his husband calling his name.

“In here!” Naruto says and Sasuke kicks the door open and sees Naruto squatting next to the tub there is a second of relieve in his eyes his eyes shoot over at Tobirama.

“Fuck,” Sasuke says and slaps Tobirama’s cheeks slightly waking him up.

“Do I call an ambulance?” Naruto askes, not sure what to do.

“No...No....I got this, just...Call Itachi tell him I need a huge favor.” Sasuke says, taking his jacket off and rolling up his sleeves. “Go.” He tells Naruto as he grabs a pair of scissors a cuts Tobirama’s pants off.

Naruto does what he is told and he calls Itachi and you would expect with Sasuke’s calm voice. Naruto is pretty calm knowing there is no need to panic...But no..He screams at Itachi that there is a man stabbed in the leg in their bathtub and they need him right away.

After twenty minutes Sasuke comes out of the bathroom. His shirt has blood on it and he has his hair in a messy bun and wearing latex gloves that had blood on them. He tells Naruto to call Kakashi too. He indicated to his phone on his pocket and Naruto takes it and says what is he supposed to say.

“Tell him the jackass got himself hurt.”

Naruto, sticking to Sasuke’s words says exactly that and he can hear Kakashi say, “Fuck, Tobirama. Is he alright?”

“He is bleeding in the tub...Sasuke’s with him. Itachi is going to come.” Naruto says.

“Ah then it is not that bad.” Kakashi says and Naruto is wondering what is considered ‘bad’ for these people.

Itachi arrives and Naruto send him to the bathroom and Naruto hasn’t kept track of the time anymore and soon Kakashi arrived.

Kakashi is carrying Tobirama from the bathtub to the couch, lying him down. He seems pretty out of it by now.

“How is he?” Naruto asks. His wounds has been tended to.

“I have to say I am impressed, you patched him up pretty good.” Itachi says, “But did you stitch your initials in there?”

“Ssssshhh...” Sasuke says putting his hand on the wound, putting pressure on it.

“Fucking bitch...” Tobirama says.

“We were taught a thing or two at the boarding school,” Kakashi says.

“But do remember, if his temperature is rising he needs to go to the hospital.” Itachi says.

“And we will be there to escort him.” Kakashi says. Sasuke gave Itachi a hug, thanked him for his help. Naruto walked Itachi out and when he returned he saw Kakashi and Sasuke talking, more in whispers. Not sure if they wanted to hide the conversation from Naruto or Tobirama.

“Uhm...So what happened?” Naruto asked, seeing both Kakashi and Sasuke look at him. The conversation died out. It was obvious who they tried to keep in the dark.

“So....Danzo?” Naruto asked, they both shook their head.

“Worse?” Naruto asked and sees both of them look away.

“Babe, it is okay I’ll handle it.” Sasuke says, giving Naruto a small smile. Naruto knew this expression, it was the “Don’t ask me anything, just let me to do my thing” look.

“No, I should know.” Naruto says, closing the window and he curtains.

“It is going to be alright. I am handling it.” Sasuke says.

“Just tell him, if your personality hasn’t chased him out of the door neither would Zabuza going after Tobirama chase him away.”

“Zabuza...As the murderer...On the news?” Naruto asks, sitting down. He needs a second.

“Okay he is an assassin with a grudge.” Kakashi says, “And Sasuke fucked him twice or trice?”

“What?” Naruto askes wide eyes.

“You fucked him over too!” Sasuke says pointing an accusing finger at Kakashi.

“But Tobirama didn’t fuck him and he is the one that got injured!” Kakashi says.

“Okay what is going on!? Who fucked who!?” Naruto asks.

“I am fucking you,” Sasuke says hoping to get some tension out.

“I fucked you once too...In a dream. It was weird. My husband was watching.” Kakashi said.

“I was weird?” Naruto asks.

“No you were adequate,” Kakashi says.

“I fucked you.” Tobirama voice says weakly, smirking at Sasuke.

“He is high on morphine,” Sasuke says shaking his head and poking a sore spot on Tobirama so he yelped in pain and shut up.

“Okay this is what is going on.” Kakashi began. “I assume you know about Itama?”

“Itama...” Tobirama’s whispered.

Sasuke’s expression darkened too.

“No...” Naruto says and he looks at Sasuke. He had read that file from top to bottom three times...How could he not remember Itama.

“I didn’t include him in the...File...” Sasuke says lowering his eyes.

“So there is more?!” Naruto says.

“Little bit...’“ Sasuke mutters.

“Itama is Tobirama’s brother. He was in Sasuke’s class and died in the forest task. The task where all first year are dropped in the forest and attacked from all sides. They have to make their way back to the school or die trying. It was about survival. Living from the woods, being attacked by whole bunch of people. Old graduates, highly ranked officers, criminals...Heavily relying on the psychopathic murderers that were arrested and given a week release to just...Do whatever they pleased.”

“Oh God...” Naruto felt his throat go numb. “Well Zabuza was an old graduate with a very keen sense for killing a killer sense...I did not believe was possible for a human to achieve. He was in my year and he had it out for him. Couldn’t get over that I outranked him. The only reason I did was dumb luck.” Kakashi sighed, “He killed Itama during the forest task. Itama, Tobirama’s little brother, teamed up with Sasuke in the forest assignments because they got along or something-”

“He reminded me of a little you,” Sasuke says, looking at Naruto with a sadness in his eyes. “And he was killed...Zabuza slashed him open with his sword. I managed to knock him out and I dragged Itama away and he died. So that is why Tobirama has beef with this guy. Especially since he could track him down and kill him as revenge.”

“Zabuza worked in Otogakure as a high ranked military officer, he was untouchable until....Sasuke came forward with what happened in the boarding school and suddenly no government wanted to have anything to do with the graduates...Playing the..I didn’t know card...So he was fired...and ended up gutters and I think somewhere he started a criminal organisation and is now working with the mafia these two are tracing.” Kakashi points at Tobirama and Sasuke.

“So you fucked him over twice...I fucked him once.” Kakashi says pointing an accusing finger at Sasuke.

“So he wants after Tobirama because he got close to arresting this mob guy and he was sent to kill him?” Naruto asks.

“That too.” Sasuke says.

“Too?” Naruto askes.

“Well...Remember that time Naori went missing and my dad said how it could’ve been a kidnap because there were consequences in coming forwards with what happened?” Sasuke asks and Naruto slowly nods.

“So...Uhm...” Sasuke stopped taking, never finishing what he said.

“Zabuza has no beef with Tobirama....What he wanted to know was who the snitch was, and Tobirama said it was him.” Kakashi said.

Naruto looks at Sasuke who looks at the floor.

“This is a lot to take...” Naruto says.

“I know...Just go to bed, don’t worry Kakashi and I keep an eye out.” Sasuke says, giving Naruto a kiss on his cheek.

That next morning at the crack of dawn Naruto woke up, not being able to sleep after receiving so much information at once. He figured he would get up and just resume his life and go to work. But before he even got out of the room he could hear talking and it is like every time he thinks Sasuke and him have compleet honestly...Some shit comes up and makes him feel like he doesn’t know shit about Sasuke. He can hear some talking in the living room.

“No, no, we can’t do that. Getting out of otogakure I figured we would never have to...Not again...” He could hear Sasuke say.

“Sasuke, Sasuke, listen to me.” He could Tobirama’s voice say a lot stricter and seriouser, “He is not gonna stop. They’re all not going to stop until every one we love is gone. He’ll start with me. He’ll kill my brother, his wife and drown me in their blood. Then he will come after you and you think he is going to make it quick and easy without involving your husband, your brother, your brother’s children. He is going to come for them, it is a matter of time.”

“Zabuza is strong, he is dangerous...He might not be the best when it comes to investigation but even he will soon or later find out everything about each of us and then he will attack and make us suffer. I’ll give him four to six months for him to recover from Tobirama’s attack and come to us.” Kakashi says.

“We have the information, I have the tracer on him. We have the upper hand. If the three of us go..We’ll be out there in two hours tops. We go in, we go full out, we burn it down. It goes on the record as some rival gang attack and we won’t have to worry about him ever coming near anyone we love.” Tobirama says.

“If we do this we’re no better than him.” Sasuke says.

“He is not being held back by the law or morals. You know how far he can go. You saw him kill a fourteen year old child without a gun to his head-”

“I know! I was there!” Sasuke hissed, “I tried to safe, I held him until the moment he died!”

“And I saw him kill my brother, he made him choke on his own blood.” Tobirama hissed. “You see these scars!”

“Stop it.”

“They chained me up and made me watch and he laughed! He laughed!” Tobirama raised his voice.

“I said stop it!” Sasuke shouted.

The door opened and Naruto looked at the dining table. The tension could be cut with a knife. He saw Kakashi, Sasuke and Tobirama on the dining table. Kakashi was holding a cup of coffee and Sasuke was looking pale. Tobirama seemed to be doing a lot better than he did the previous night. He seemed to be mostly himself again. But seeing him in a simple white shirt and shorts he could clearly see what Tobirama is clearly been hiding under his clothes the entire time. There were red scars on his wrists, ankles and neck.

“Knock it off, Tobirama.” Kakashi said.

Tobirama sat back down, his hand going over the scar around his neck. It was almost as if he tried hiding it, thinking rubbing over it with his hand would make it disappear.

“Baby, hey...” Sasuke says getting up and kissing Naruto on his cheek.

“So...What’s going on?” Naruto asked.

“Nothing...Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school?”

“Pff..You make it sound like you’re fucking a highschooler.” Tobirama mocks him. “You read for school?”

“Why don’t you go take a shower, and I’ll make you breakfast...” Sasuke says, letting his finger go over Naruto’s hair.

“You don’t have to-” Sasuke presses a finger against Naruto’s mouth, placing a little on his lips.

“Go.”

Sasuke turns back to Kakashi and Tobirama.

“Fine...I will help take them down. Four months until he will strike...We’ll have to do with two. Go, give them all we have, get out...Blow the place up. And we’ll never talk about..” Sasuke says looking at Kakashi and Tobirama.

“Deal.”

#long post #domestic au

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