#dream *dead sober and regretting it* i bet i can make him dream of BREAKING UP WITH HER | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blankdblank · 6 years

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Tempted to do another prompt request

Don’t know why, just curious if anyone wanted to request some prompts. Got a compilation of lists i’ve seen on here before I glance through randomly sometimes for ideas for my other rambles and series.

Mostly do

Hobbit/LotR - Modern au/regular

Marvel - Mostly Loki w/ others thrown in

Celebs - Richard Armitage, Lee Pace w/ Hobbit cast thrown in, Tom Hiddleston, Tom Holland w/ various Marvel actors thrown in

You can add in scenarios or random items or locations if you like too.

It can also be y/n style if you want, otherwise i’ll probably use a variant of my usual oc to put it all together. :D

Prompt List

1 “Fancy seeing you here.” “I work here.”

2 “Can I buy you a drink?”

5 “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t, we all die.”

6 “No, no, you do NOT want me navigating. I’ll accidentally navigate us off a cliff.”

7 “Is that blood?” “No?” “That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

8 “This is all your fault.” “I hope so.”

9 “I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of hummingbirds.”

10 “You have no power over me.” “You sure about that?”

11 “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

12 “Excuse me! I was a superhero for ten whole minutes!” “And in that time you got kidnapped and we had to come to the rescue”

13 “I am way too sober for this.”

14 “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

15 “Why do you keep risking your life? To prove a point?” “Yes.”

16 “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”

17 “This plan of yours is going to get us killed. Of course, I’m in.”

18 “Can you please go be stupid somewhere that’s away from me?”

19 “Stop that!” “Stop what?” “Doing that thing with your face when you’re happy. It’s making me nauseous.”

20 “You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” “Watch me!”

21 “Wait, you’re a superhero?” “How do you not know? My face is literally on the news on a weekly basis.” “I’m in grad school. I won’t have time to follow popular media until I finish my thesis. You’re lucky I’ve carved out some non-existent free time to date you.”

22 “I’m just really tired of watching you get thrown off the tops of buildings”

23 “Whether you believe in me or not, I will continue to exist.”

24 “I don’t care where I sleep, as long as it’s with you.”

25 “You’re a psychopath.” “I prefer creative.”

26 “I thought you forgot about me.” “Never.”

27 “I want to go home.” “And I want to go to the moon. It ain’t happening sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

29 “You really have no clue who I am?” “You’d think the confused looks and blank stare would have answered that for you.”

30 “Nope. I can’t go to hell. Satan still has a restraining order against me.”

31 “Well, what can I say? I’m a badass.”

32 “Define normal.”

33 “Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”

34 “It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”

35 “And you wonder why you’re still single.”

36 “Remind me to kill you. Please.”

37 “I’m listening to you. I’m just not paying attention.”

38 “Were you dropped on your head?”

39 “She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”

40 “She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”

41 “My middle finger salutes you.”

42 “This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you.”

43 “I don’t think I could ever stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.”

44 “I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”

45 “Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.”

46 “Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”

47 “Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”

48 “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

49 “All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”

50 “I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”

51 “Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”

52 “What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”

53 “I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”

54 “I need therapy after this.”

55 “I’m not weird. I am limited edition.”

56 “I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”

57 “I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”

58 “If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur.”

59 “You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?”

60 “I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”

61 “I’d explain it to you, but you’re brain would explode.”

62 “Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”

63 “I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”

64 “Even when we were kids, I always kicked your ass!”

65 “Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”

66 “Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”

67 “The female of the species is more deadly than the male.”

68 “Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”

69 “She’s hot, but she’s evil.”

70 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”

71 “I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”

72 “Go on, knock his teeth down his throat.”

73 “What’s the point in screaming? No one’s listening anyway.”

74 “I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”

75 “So stick that in your juice box and suck it.”

76 “Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”

77 “This place hold a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some… No. No, no, all bad.”

78 “A little gasoline… blowtorch… no problem.”

79 “Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

80 “I know you can’t kill anybody, ‘cause I can’t kill anybody.”

81 “You’re insane, but you might also be brilliant.”

82 “What you call insanity, I call inspiration.”

83 “Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”

84 “Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”

85 “Why does everyone assume the worst of me.” “It saves time.”

86 “I like you. You’re different.”

87 “You successfully cured him/her of anything interesting about his/her personality.”

88 “You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”

89 “Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”

90 “I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”

91 “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

92 “You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.”

93 “I care so little, I almost passed out.”

94 “Well behaved woman rarely make history.”

95 “You’re so weird.” “You have no idea.”

96 “You haven’t even seen my bad side yet.”

97 “Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”

98 “How’s life treating you?” “Like I ran over it’s dog.”

99 “Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”

100 “Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we.”

101 “I’m so glad you could come.” “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

102 “You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”

103 “Have fun being a big deal.” “I will.”

104 “Damn, you’re strong for a little thing.”

105 “It’s called thinking. Go with it.”

106 “I made a new friend today.” “Real or imaginary?” “Imaginary.”

107 “Where have you been all my life?” “Hiding from you.”

108 “I’m getting real bored and impatient. I don’t do bored and impatient.”

109 “The girl is strange no question.”

110 “Do us a favor… I know it’s difficult for you… but please, stay here, and try no to do anything… stupid.”

111 “I know most people don’t like me; I don’t care, I don’t like most people.”

112 “You are a very strange person.” “Well, thanks for noticing.”

113 “I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… no.”

114 “I didn’t steal it. I permanently borrowed it.”

115 “I’m not shy. I’m just examining my prey.”

116 “If you pull out my earphones, I will pull out your lungs.”

117 “I don’t dislike you, I nothing you.”

118 “Are you crying? No, I’m impersonating a fountain.”

120 “You’re kinda anti-social, you know that?”

121 “I feel like a freakin’ soccer mom.”

122 “I’m just gonna pack up and go straight to hell now.”

123 “My ex? Yeah, I’d still hit that. Except this time it would be with a car or baseball bat.”

124 “She’s complicated like the DaVinci code, you know but harder to crack.”

125 “And just like everything else we do around here, it’s about to get weirder.”

126 “Such big evil in such a little thing.”

127 “Why do I still like you, knowing you’re a total asshole?”

128 “What does not kill you will likely try again.”

129 “Oh honey, I would but… I don’t want to.”

130 “And hello to you too… little homewrecker.”

131 “I’m gonna make you wish you were dead.”

132 “I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.”

133 “What doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.”

134 “In another life, I think I was in a mental institution.”

135 “I’m not crazy. I’m just interesting.”

136 “Don’t make me pop your ten grand sand bags honey.”

137 “This is fun.” “Seriously, we’re trying to hide a body.”

138 “If you touch my food, I’ll have no choice but to hurt you.”

139 “I found this cat. It doesn’t matter how exactly I found it, but we’re keeping it.”

140 “When I was a child, I wanted to be a fire hydrant because I wanted to help people. Well, it was a real let down when my mother told me that being an inanimate object wasn’t a valid option.”

141 “There’s not a single day in my life when I haven’t been thoroughly humiliated and it’s too late to change now.”

142 “Unfortunately, my tears of joy and tears of sadness are not so easy to tell apart.”

143 “Sex dream? About you? Nah…it was about, uh, my uncle!”

144 “How did I break my leg? Well, it’s a long story.”

145 “The punch was out of love. For myself.”

146 “I can 100 percent fall down those stairs without getting hurt.”

147 “You act like I’ve never been lost in a foreign country before.”

148 “I always knew I’d be digging my own grave, I just never expected it would be digging a literal grave.”

149 “I did not eat the cookies. I’ve never even seen a cookie in my life.”

150 “Closets are my mortal enemy. And snakes.”

151 “I am wearing your clothes but not for the reason you think I am.”

152 “I’m trapped under the bed again.” “What do you mean ‘again’?”

153 “I shouldn’t have to tell you not to eat that.”

154 “I’m no longer permitted to enter the city zoo because I ‘allegedly’ don’t understand boundaries.”

155 “I didn’t eat your chocolate bar–Oh, I have chocolate on my face? In that case, it attacked me.”

156 “They told me not to take that selfie in the emergency room but now I have a great profile pic for Halloween!”

157 “I’m not saying I’d fight a child, I’m merely saying my legs are longer, my arms are stronger, and my brain is superior.”

158 “I’ve never been to Japan until today, but I have no idea how I got here.”

159 “We rock, paper, scissors-ed it and I played fire. I won in principle, but lost in morality.”

160 “Trains are fun until you’re fighting the conductor.”

161 “The first time I saw the ocean I cried, but that’s mostly because I was choking on seawater.”

162 “There is no sign in the library that says no birds so how was I to know.”

163 “The chokehold was out of love. Why can’t you see that?”

164 “I know the police.” “What? You know all the police?” “Well, it’s more like they know me.”

165 “I thought I could do parkour, nay, believed but my faith is weak and my body weaker.”

166 “I only got stuck in a baby swing once. The other two times I managed to get myself out before the fire department arrived.”

167 “Elbows and knees. That’s the fight club motto.” “No, it’s really not.”

168 “I don’t get lost. I take the long way.”

169 “There’s a snake in my boot. No, I’m serious. Why is there a snake in my boot?”

170 “My doctor told me chocolate syrup is not an actual beverage. The more you know, huh?”

171 “I don’t fall in love. I faceplant.”

172 “If you try to high five a police officer, they will taze you.”

173 “I can do the splits but not on purpose.”

174 “I am the ruler of pigeons now. I didn’t know I was even a candidate, but here we are.”

175 “To be fair, I’m surprised I didn’t break more fingers.”

176 “Who knew bear traps were that common?”

177 “I will run away with you.”

178 “I am never coming back.”

179 “I forget time and space when I’m with you.”

180 “I don’t belong in your universe.”

181 “I’m dynamite ready to explode.”

182 “I don’t know where you’ve gone. It’s like you aren’t here anymore.”

183 “We are in this together – for better or for worse, do you hear me? I’m not giving up that easily.”

184 “You don’t even have to hold me, and I still feel safe with you.”

187 “Everything you think I need isn’t what I need. What I need is you.”

188 “I always come back to you.”

189 “You have to keep fighting.”

191 “I’m begging you. Please.”

192 “I need you to let me all the way in.”

193 “This was all just a game to you… wasn’t it?”

194 “I will give you heaven and I will give you hell.”

195 “Please, be gentle with me. I’ll break if you aren’t careful enough.”

196 “I promise I’ll be tender.”

197 “I can assure you that you are safe here… with me.”

198 “It is my duty to take care of you, so stop forcing me away.”

199 “Never trust a man whose smile steals the breath right from your lungs.”

200 “Take it – I don’t care. Take it all!”

201 “I’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

202 “You make me feel things that I’m not supposed to feel. Why? Why do you have this control over me? You’ve taken over most of my thoughts. It’s infuriating.”

203 “Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me.”

204 “I don’t even remember the last time I got a decent amount of sleep. I’m hallucinating things, I can’t focus for more than five minutes… I’m going crazy.”

205 “You were always beside me.”

206 “What happened to us? To you? I miss it.”

207 “There is no good in goodbye.”

208 “Say it again.”

209 “You look happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be the reason for it.”

210 “Sometimes we get hurt and we just have to find a way to overcome it, and sometimes… sometimes it’s not enough to heal the wounds.”

211 “You’ll understand. You have to.”

212 “You lit a fire in my veins ever since the first time we held hands.”

213 “Don’t stop.”

215 “I don’t care! I don’t!”

216 “There are times I can drink the pain away, but this time it’s become impossible.”

217 “This pain… it’s still fresh. Give me time.”

218 “Your memory will burn like a fire.”

219 “It just keeps spreading and spreading and spreading and I can’t stop it.”

220 “I won’t ever forget you.”

221 “I think I’m losing myself, and I don’t know if I can ever come back from this.”

222 “I prefer being alone.”

223 “To see you smile, I would do anything.”

224 “If you’re reading this then that means… that means I didn’t make it. I’m sorry.”

225 “Fuck, I wish I could give you one more kiss, to feel your warmth, to see you smile… I miss you so much.”

226 “Don’t go too far, alright? I wanna be able to catch up to you, just give me time.”

227 “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.”

228 “You stood up for me.”

229 “You keep giving me excuses, what’s your problem?”

230 “Always be kind.”

231 “You’re so warm.”

232 “Oh my god! That was so not funny. These are fake tears, and that was sarcasm.”

233 “Damn damn diggity damn.”

234 “Daddy.”

235 “Run me over with your car.”

236 “Ew. Emotions.”

237 “I’m sorry, was I supposed to laugh?”

238 “Stab me. No, seriously. Stab me.”

239 “That’s so stupid. Please, do it again.”

240 “But I’m not her.”

241 “I need you to see yourself as I do.”

242 “Breathe.”

243 “What are you running from? Why are you so scared?”

244 “Let’s do something spontaneous!”

245 “I can still feel every little kiss you pressed to my cheek.”

246 “I need to be closer to you.”

247 “It’s feels like I’m suffocating.”

248 “This will be the last time you lie to me.”

249 “You know it’s not like that.”

250 “How could you think this wouldn’t hurt me?”

251 “You’re never going to be the same after this.”

252 “I just think it’d be best if we never met.”

253 “I can’t believe you would even think to leave me like this.”

254 “You never loved me, did you?”

255 “It didn’t have to be like this, but now you’ve ruined everything.”

256 “I hope you’re happy.”

257 “If you had have kept your mouth shut, then he’d still- he’d still be here!”

258 “What did you want once this was all through? Tell me!”

259 “Now I have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Thanks, it means a lot.”

260 “You could’ve- could’ve stayed. You could’ve helped me fix things.”

261 “I knew she’d never change, she was too stubborn, too similar to me.”

262 “This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now.”

263 “I hope I’m not put in the same part of hell as you.”

264 “When did you think you could hurt me again? Today? Tomorrow?”

265 “You’re back in my life and I want to die again.”

266 “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

267 “I hope you got what you wanted.”

268 “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”

269 “When you die, I’ll be the first to dance on your grave.”

270 “Don’t underestimate me, I have more power than you can even comprehend.”

271 “If only you knew what you’d brought upon yourself.”

272 “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”

273 “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”

274 “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”

275 “There is nothing worse than seeing you get what you want.”

276 “Your mind must be a horrible place.”

277 “You can cut me, bruise me and skin me alive, but you will not take her from me.”

278 “How is it that we always end up in this predicament?”

279 “I want to wipe that grin of your face with my sword, but my mother taught me to play nicely.”

280 “Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you.”

281 “Ah, well if you want them back alive, I suggest you lay down your own life.”

282 “Don’t be ‘smart’. The battlefield is no place for Math Scholars.”

283 “You shouldn’t have come. You can’t be-”

284 “Stop talking or tomorrow won’t come.”

285 “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”

286 “I shouldn’t care for your life, but I’m starting to and it’s becoming an inconvenience.”

287 “If you live to see her, please send my best regards and this box of her father’s ashes.”

288 “It would’ve been nice to get to know you better, but I’m afraid I don’t care.”

289 “I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person.”

290 “Seeing your face has unconventionally made me want to die. I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling.”

291 “You could have loved me, I’m quite good at seducing, but you’re actually vile.”

292 “I hope I see you in a bodybag sometime.”

293 “Let’s pretend you didn’t cheat on me with my sister and be good people for a few minutes.”

294 “We should probably stop talking forever.”

295 “If I hated you anymore, I think I’d probably be crowned as satan’s right-hand man.”

296 “To say I ‘tolerate you’ is a vast overstatement.”

297 “You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard.”

298 “This isn’t fifth grade, this is a courtroom, you whore.”

299 “I think you’d be the perfect match for my ex-husband. He loved to sleep with multiple people.”

300 “I’m not coming home, don’t look for me.”

301 “Time was always a measurement of this relationship and we finally ran out.”

302 “Please don’t look at me with such hatred.”

303 “I could’ve died and you couldn’t have cared less.”

304 “Just get out. I- I don’t want you hear, just leave.”

305 “You’re not the same person I married, don’t tell me I’m wrong.”

306 “I wish you wouldn’t beg for forgiveness, it has the opposite effect of what you want.”

307 “Don’t hate me for this. You would’ve done the same.”

308 “This could’ve been the end and you were ready to let me go.”

309 “You should’ve left me, you could never deserve the person I’ve become.”

310 “Hate me all you want. I know I’m right.”

311 “Today you broke my arm, I hope tomorrow it’s not my heart.”

312 “Nothing can justify this, you’ve ruined him.”

313 “You live with so much guilt, I hope it drives you mad one of these days.”

314 “My life was ruined because of one mistake. You were that mistake.”

315 “You are everything I hate, don’t ever come back.”

316 “Evil doesn’t come close.”

317 “Your wrongdoings are becoming your pastimes.”

318 “I wish you had of just done it for the thrill of it, but now you’re in deep shit.”

319 “Next time, I won’t be here to salvage your wreckage. This is the last time.”

320 “You should have ruined me when you had the chance.”

321 “No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too.”

322 “Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me.”

323 “This is always how it ends.”

324 “Break my heart once more, I dare you.”

325 “Forget how you loved me once, I mean nothing now.”

326 “This isn’t Romeo and Juliet, this is real life and I can go on without you.”

327 “You don’t own me, I don’t belong to you.”

328 “I should’ve died. That would’ve made you happy.”

329 “Are we going to carry on like this or are you going to give him back to me.”

330 “She drowned and he lost his mind.”

321 “We shouldn’t. You’re married and I’m pregnant.”

332 “You’ve never been loved, I can tell.”

333 “Who told you I needed fixing and what made you believe them?”

334 “You’re almost as far-gone as I am.”

335 “Maybe it’s best that we don’t go home.”

336 “Roaming the streets was never safe for her. What makes you think it’s different for you?”

337 “I think you’re going to ruin me. Am I right?”

338 “Do you remember our last feud? I wouldn’t want someone to lose their life again, would you?”

339 “Kiss me quick and leave them be.”

340 “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s just so dramatic how humans show emotions and being sad is such a boring one.”

341 “Will you ever forget my number? No? Ah, because you still love me.”

342 “After the funeral, let’s surrender.”

343 “What made you think I cared for you?”

344 “It’ll be fun explaining this to your sister. I hope she likes horror stories.”

345 “Don’t act as if we’re friends. I know how much you want to slit my throat.”

346 “Let’s not get angry. Let’s calmly and sensibly take this outside so I can ruin your face.”

347 “Please ruin yourself for me and I’ll watch in adoration as I fall apart as well.”

Already requested – but still requestable

3 “Right now, I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge” “Can I pick?”

4 “You know what they say, panicking burns a shit-ton of calories.” “Who even says that?” “Me. Just now.”

28 “Sometimes, memories are the worst torture.”

119 “Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. That’s cute.”

185 “Be with me.”

186 “I’m vulnerable around you, and it only gets worse when you smile.”

190 “I’m surrendering myself to you; body and soul. What more do you want?”

214 “Please, just… touch me.”

348 “Are you SURE I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes.” “What if I break his nose a little?”

349 “Show me your scars.” “But… why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

350 “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear your feelings for her has.”

351 “Did you just… agree with me?” “Oh, I wish I could take-““Nope! You said it! No take-backs!”

352 “I think I’m having a feeling. How do I make it stop?”

353 “Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner having another existential crisis.”

354 “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it!”

355 “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”

356 “It’s a good thing you’re cute when you’re angry.”

357 “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

358 “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

359 “It’s a long story” “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time.”

360 “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.” “Well you better not mess this up”

361 “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star.”

362 “I feel like I’m being stabbed.” “How do you even know what it feels like to be stabbed?”

363 “What now?” “I don’t know. I thought the jump would kill us.”

364 “I saved your life.” “You pushed me off a building.”

365 “How do we keep getting into these situations?” “Eleven years of friendship and I still don’t know.”

366 “We’re leaving.” “But they have a lobster tank in their basement.”

367 “Take my hand.” “Why?” “I’m trying to ask you to marry me, so take my damn hand!”

368 “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

369 “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

370 “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

371 “I think that you’re not as dark as you want people to believe.”

372 “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

373 “Why are they afraid of you?”

374 “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

375 “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

376 “Why me?” “Because you saw me when I was invisible.”

377 “I was just kind of hoping that you’d, y’know…. fall in love with me.”

378 “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

379 “You know, no one bothered me this much when I was dead.”

380 “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

381 “I’d know that smirk anywhere.”

382 “I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

383 “Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”

384 “Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”

385 “If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”

386 “If I survive, can I go home?”

387 “That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”

388 “You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”

389 “You’re good. A monster pain in the ass… but you’re good.”

390 “Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”

391 “The universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got a hell of a sense of humor.”

392 “My advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.”

#Prompt Request

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spn-ficfanatic · 6 years

Text

If You Wanna Be My Lover

Prompt: “Am I hungover or do I have a concussion?”, requested by Nonnie about a week ago.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Words: 1975

Warnings: A few F bombs

Date posted: 14th April 2018

A loud knocking pulled you from the chorus of your favourite Spice Girls song. Given you were right next door to the Winchesters, and knowing Dean as well as you did, you were willing to bet every penny you had (not much, by the way) which of the brothers it was. Sure enough, his voice floated through the door.

“Y/N, if you’re going to drunk-sing can you at least take a request for some ACDC?” Dean asked, his gruff voice sending shivers up your spine.

You quickly decided you’d had just enough alcohol, ok maybe more than JUST enough, to allow yourself to pull those walls down for an hour or two. You know, the walls reminding you not to date? That dating as a hunter, let alone dating ANOTHER hunter, was doomed from the start? Sure, there was attraction there. Gentle flirting which you knew he reciprocated, but it couldn't be more than that. At least, it couldn’t be when you were sober. And you were definitely not that right now. Singing along to “Wannabe” and dancing on top of your bed was a testament to that fact.

“Y/N? You ok? I'm coming in”, Dean called again, his concern evident this time, and suddenly you realised you’d never answered him.

And that you were only in your underwear and bra.

What? Dance around to 90’s pop songs was hot work!

Gasping in horror you suddenly scrambled to find your clothes. You might have wanted to engage in some drunken sex that you’d no doubt regret in the morning, but you didn’t want to make it TOO easy on the guy.

As the door opened you spotted your clothes across the room and in your panic you bolted for them, forgetting you were currently standing on the bed.

“Y/N? Woah, hey, wait-” Dean cried, only to be interrupted by your graceful fall off the bed and into the coffee table. As you felt yourself fall into unconsciousness, your main concern was whether Dean would have the decency to dress you before calling the coroner.

Deans POV

The singing had started. He, Sam and yourself had been hunting together for a few years now, but even after all that time you still prefered your own company when shit hit the fan. And the shit most certainly hit the fan on this hunt. 5 dead vamps but 3 dead teenagers later, and you had bid them goodnight before no doubt hitting the Jack Daniels. The singing signalled the halfway point. It usually took 5 pop songs before you finally crashed, though how Dean knew that was irrelevant. Wasn't like he studied every little thing about you, simply to feel closer to you. Wasn't like he had feelings for you or anything. After all, You'd been pretty clear on your “no dating” policy. So he'd respected your wishes while ignoring his own.

Didn't mean he couldn't look out for you though, which is how he found himself standing outside your door waiting for a break in the song to knock loud enough for you to hear.

“Y/N, if you’re going to drunk-sing can you at least take a request for some ACDC?” he tried to joke, though he couldn't help a note of concern slip through the cracks. He listened out for a response but even though you'd stopped singing the music kept playing and there were no other sounds to be heard. He waited impatiently and after 10 seconds he was starting to get worried, and he decided it was time to make his entrance.

“Y/N? You ok? I'm coming in”.

He pushed the door open, and was startled to find you looking at him like a deer in headlights, nearly stark naked except for the flimsy lingerie he knew you wore not for comfort but because despite the fact you were a badass hunter, you still liked feeling pretty.

It wasn’t at all weird that he knew that either.

“Y/N? Woah, hey, wait-” he called in alarm as he saw you run head first off the bed, colliding smack bang into the corner of the coffee table. He ran over to you, terrified of what a blow like that could do to a person. You didn't move, your body naturally falling into the recovery position, and he felt his heart hammering in his chest.

“No no no no,” he muttered unconsciously as he reached you, gently rolling you over and inspecting your head, grateful to find there was no blood. You'd actually managed to land your head onto a cushion on the floor, which he prayed help soften the blow. Your eyes were still closed though.

“Y/N? Sweetheart? Open your eyes. Can you hear me?” he called, cupping your face in his hands. He leant down and placed his ear to your mouth and fingers to your neck, grateful to hear and feel your breathing and pulse were steady.

Brushing the hair out of your face, he took a moment to simply take you in. You were looking so worn, you'd obviously been crying as your eyes were puffy and your mascara had run slightly. Your body had more scars than he would have expected from even a hunter, but somehow you were still the most beautiful goddamn woman he'd ever seen.

“Dammit Y/N,” he sighed as he gently lifted you onto the bed, pulling a sheet over you to allow you some discretion. His heart leapt as he heard a moan escape your lips, and he sat up by your head to wait for your eyes to open. Running his hand through your hair, avoiding the forming lump on your scalp, he softly called your name.

Your POV

“Fuuuuuuuck,” you groaned in reply, squinting your eyes tightly against the pain. You heard someone sigh in relief, and once you managed to open your eyes you were greeted with the sight of those beautiful green orbs.

“Y/N? You with me?” he asked, his voice laced with worry. You nodded, regretting the movement when pain shot through your scalp and down your neck.

“I’m alive then? That’s nice,” you muttered quietly, and Dean gave a small chuckle.

“Alive yes, but you’re definitely gonna be feeling that bump for a while,” he told you with a frown. Hopping off the bed, he went to the freezer and grabbed an icepack while you lay silently, swallowing down the nausea that was starting to rear its ugly head.

You felt the mattress dip as he sat back down, and hissed when you felt the cool pack being held gently against your growing bump. You thanked him and repositioned your arm, holding it there yourself. The alcohol was starting to take effect, and you could sense you’d shortly be passing out.

“Can I sleep?” you asked, your eyes already drooping. He patted you on the shoulder gently and nodded his head, and you started drifting somewhere between sleep and awake. You heard Dean whip out his phone and dial someone, presumably his brother, and you had confirmation of that when you heard Sam’s phone ringing softly through the walls.

“Hey Sam,” he greeted his brother. “I’m gonna crash over here tonight ok? No, she’s not giving me a private dance… shaddaup.”

The start of that conversation piqued your interest, but despite your best efforts sleep found you quickly and you drifted off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moaning loudly, you woke to a pounding headache and curled in on yourself while gripping your skull with your hands. You thought you heard footsteps, and as the mattress dipped you opened one eye to see who the intruder was.

“Dean?” you asked, surprised by the turn of events. “Why are you here?” He looked exhausted, but still gave you a smile which admittedly gave you butterflies.

“You don’t remember?” he frowned, pushing a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. You shook your head, inevitably a mistake as your head screamed at you to stay still.

“Christ, am I hungover or do I have a concussion?” you groaned, squinting your eyes in pain.

“Both actually,” Dean told you. “You fell off the bed during your pop song routine. Smacked your head on the coffee table.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, and lifted your fingers to your head to find a massive bump that wasn’t there the night before.

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” you told him. “Were you here all night?”

“Yer well, someone had to make sure you didn’t choke on your own puke,” he replied humorlessly. You reached out and placed your hand over his, smiling in thanks. He smiled back but then watched curiously as your face fell with a sudden thought, and you lifted the sheet. Gasping, you pulled it back down and looked at him with bright red cheeks.

“Did… did you undress me?” you asked in horror. He laughed then, and shook his head.

“No sweetheart, you did that all on your own.”

Facepalm. This was absolutely not how you envisioned Dean seeing you in your underwear for the first time.

“Well,” you started, hoping to lighten the mood. “That would have been a way to go right? Death by coffee table in my underwear. It’s what every hunter dreams of.”

You shared a laugh before Dean shifting himself to stand.

“I better let you get dressed,” he commented, more to himself, before lifting himself off your mattress. You grabbed his hand suddenly, and as he turned to look at you with confusion you wondered what the hell you were doing.

“Dean… I- I haven’t thrown up have I?”

“Umm, no,” he replied, raising a confused eyebrow.

“Good,” you replied, and before you had a chance to lose your nerve you yanked him down and crashed his lips into yours.

It didn’t take long for his tongue to run along your lip, begging for access, and of course you allowed it. He slowly pushed you back onto the mattress while climbing onto the bed with you, laying over you while holding himself up with one arm and running his free hand through your hair, careful to avoid your lump. The pace between you quickened and you could feel his pants tighten, before he quickly gasped and pulled away, rolling onto the other side of the mattress.

“Wait, hang on,” he cried, panting as he lay there with a hand on his chest, trying to calm down. You sighed and rolled carefully onto your side to face him, propping your head up with your arm. Placing your own hand on his chest, he interlocked his fingers into yours and turned his head to face you.

“What happened to your ‘no dating’ policy,” he asked, his gaze staying on the ceiling while he tried to compose yourself. You were still half dressed after all.

“That might be the stupidest rule I’ve ever made up. At least, it is where you’re concerned,” you admitted with a shrug, your heart racing. He looked at you confused and you rolled your eyes at how oblivious he was. “Dude, you just stayed up all night to make sure I didn’t die in my sleep. You didn’t take advantage of me even though I was drunk and half naked, and even after I was the one who kissed you first you still pulled away just now to make sure this was ok. We keep doing this little flirting game and maybe it’s the crushing headache talking but I’m just so over it.”

His eyes widened in surprise at your confession, and he sat up straighter.

“So… what does all that mean?” he asked quietly.

“Actions speak louder than words Dean,” you replied, before leaning over and once again embracing him in a passionate kiss.

No power on Earth would pull him away from you this time.

Masterlist

“Everything” Tag List: @angelsandwinchesters, @grace-for-sale, @growningupgeek, @iamnotsaneatall, @nanie5, @queen-of-moons2025, @waywardasfudge, @ronja-uebrick

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