Preview of SouRin Sugar Daddy AU “Death of a Bachelor” Chapter 26

Makoto stays with with him a few days at Haru’s childhood home. He usually takes this time to bask in glorious solitude, not leaving the house for days to allow his introvert tank recharge to the highest possible level before he goes back to the city. Staying in Tokyo is hard, but living with three college roommates is one of the most challenging situations Haru has ever endured. He is lucky that the living arrangements turned out as good as they did. Hiyori is fucking weird and he's obsessed with indie horror games that are so low quality they're pixelated, yet they still somehow scare and irritate Haru in equal measure. Hiyori makes a fantastic pistachio pie, though, so he makes up for it. Asahi fucks like a rabbit and watches forty-five minute vine compilations on the living room TV while Haru is trying to study on the couch, but Asahi mixed the Flipper the Dolphin theme as an orchestral version for Haru's birthday one year, so he can let the sleepovers with Kisumi slide - as loud as they are.  Rin's friendship is stressful and deep and old. Haru has seen him through a lot, but Rin has talked him through panic attacks from the time they were five to just a few months ago. They are as different as oil and water, but those differences were accepted and needed long ago. As pleasantly different as it is to have a group of friends, they are still people and Haru can never really feel like his true self if there's a presence in the room. It's not that he feels like he needs to impress anyone - it's just that Haru's brain was never wired with a need to socialize, and if he must do it too much, he will absolutely, despairingly overload.   Yet he is quite content with Makoto's presence in the house. Maybe it's because they're in the “Honeymoon Stage”? He heard Kisumi talk about that once. He and Haru don't see eye-to-eye on many things, but Haru has never felt kinship like he did when Kisumi told him he would die painfully for Asahi, but that doesn't mean Kisumi suddenly lost the need to just be alone in his car in a fast food parking lot, eating everything greasy and awful and having a good stress-cry. You can be in love, but you still have to let yourself be messy and broken sometimes, Kisumi said. Haru really fucking gets that.  Makoto seems like the type that would take it wrong if Haru wanted to be alone and cry - not like, he would be offended, but he would feel guilty. Makoto lives by himself; he works long into the night after the office is closed, and he is independent, but he hates being alone. Haru has witnessed that over time, it makes him panic. He needs to be overbearing with Sousuke, he must call his mother every single day and check up on the twins. Haru is pretty sure the man was like that even before his father passed away, but now, with that kind of heavy reality, Haru could never really blame him for it.  Makoto is not even the easiest person to talk to, but that's only because he is so genuine. Haru doesn't know what to do with all that, but fuck if he isn't obsessed with it. He wants Makoto to look at only him when they're in a room together; he could shake for the way that Makoto listens to Haru's short, droning responses to whatever sincerity question the man asks. Nobody thinks Haru is deep, but Makoto thinks that he is an ocean. He reflects on the rest of his friends, his parents. He's not one to consider how things will change with the upcoming new year - it's just one day passing to the next with far too much pop culture fanfare - but this time around, he thinks about how different his life was last year at this time. In reality, not much has changed. He's working the same boring job for less pay than he deserves, still gets bad grades and swims it off.  Haru stares down at his grill as the mackerel begins to curl up. Indeed, at the core of himself, everything is ordinarily the same -  He hears the pad of footsteps and startles when he's hugged from behind. Haru goes light-headed with how intense it feels: arms pull him close, tender and strong; Makoto smells so familiar, all cinnamon and apple and masculine heat. Haru's knees twitch, almost quiver. Makoto pecks sleepy kisses all through his hair. "The whole house smells like a seafood market. It woke me up." He doesn't sound upset, though.  Haru says, "Did you think I was gonna apologize for that?" Makoto laughs and nuzzles into Haru's neck, snuggling his face there. His breath is humid on Haru's skin, lips playful as they brush up and down. "No. I can get used to it."  Haru's eyes fall half-lidded and he gives a small smile despite himself. He lets Makoto hold him and closes his eyes, rubbing one hand through the man's hair, folding the other one over Makoto's forearm.  Makoto feels like home; he feels like water.   

Conspiracy

So we all know the video Ryan posted on his Instagram account with a preview of his song he's working on (or I hope you do if you don't here X), But while I was listening to it I was trying to figure out the words but I could only make out some words, But I found a tumblr post credits to @i-write-sins-in-cape-town (here) helped me out. The music states

“ Gotta go away to make a comeback”.

But you know who else sings a line almost exactly like that...Yep Brendon Urie. He sings in the song with Travie McCoy in his song (x). Brendon sings this line repeatedly “ “You gotta keep on keeping on Even with the feeling that you're gonna keep losing You gotta come back strong”.

Since Brendon and Travie McCoy put there song out first it would mean Ryan would be the would writing about the other, not like DOAB where Brendon wrote about Ryan, But more like take a vacation! where Ryan wrote about Brendon.

Could Ryan actually be putting out an album this year? Was Brendon trying to give advice to Ryan? And better yet is it gonna be a heart throb Ryden album? (This is just my conspiracy.)

Preview of SouRin Sugar Daddy AU: Death of a Bachelor “Chapter 21″

Sousuke’s first week back at work is shit – more like slapping on a condom full of fire ants, to put it lightly – though he hadn’t anticipated leaving his bed for a freezing office would be a pleasant affair. He’s grown accustomed to Rin’s presence, bodily and internally addicted. Sousuke needs him like sleep, a requirement for rest and fulfillment; the way he buries his cheek against Sousuke’s chest in the night, god, the fucking stars can’t compare to such fire. Being around Rin is secure and rebellious all at once. Justified. The reliver and the fever. There’s a panic to it all, waiting for this good thing to explode and come crashing down – but Sousuke likes the feeling. It’s powder, fuse, and friction. He and Rin are maneuvering a delicate space as they try to figure out the balance of public image and authentic emotion, but at least Sousuke knows which way Rin might be leaning.  Sousuke can most certainly confirm what his own heart is singing.  Needless to say, he is a bit addicted to being around Rin, and it was in no one’s best interest for Sousuke to part from him and spend days in a conference so infuriating that it ices his goddamn blood over. To quote Makoto, Sousuke is positively lemon-sour and intimidates potential investors; to quote Nagisa, his personally drops to that of the Wicked Witch of the T.E. West Wing.

“What in the risen fuck was that meeting,” Sousuke hisses on the walk out of the conference room. Nitori scurries after him, peeking over the tower of files in his arms. “Sir, I know you need a break, but you have a call from the Chou Ward waiting on Line 3 –” Sousuke throws a hand up. “I don’t have time to ignore Isana-san, tell him I’ll call him in the morning.” He shudders at the dreadful thought. “Put Baileys in my coffee tomorrow.” Nagisa bounces to Nitori’s side, scribbling on a clipboard before handing it off to Makoto. Nagisa takes a primp sip of his latte, swinging his hips with the demeanor of someone absolutely content while the building goes up in figurative flames. Nagisa says, “Sou-chan shouldn’t have any irritants while he’s recovering, Ai-chan.” “You’re an irritant,” Nitori pouts. The rest of Sousuke’s people follow him to the elevator, but he’s too frazzled to recall which floor he’s on. Not remembering directions is a staple of his character at the office, but that doesn’t make his grumble any less embarrassed. “Up or down?” Natsuya raises his brows as he scrolls through his phone and Makoto sighs, “It’s a miracle you have a driver’s license.” He pushes the button to take them to the appropriate level and everyone hunkers down in Makoto’s office with the door locked. Sousuke pours square glasses of whiskey for himself and his brother, Natsuya pulls out a Cameroon cigar, and Seijuro haggardly smokes a cigarette. The redhead hisses grey through his teeth. “Well, that could have gone better.” “A root canal would have gone better,” Sousuke fumes. Seijuro flicks ashes into the tray he always keeps in his breast pocket. “Amazing that you have to call in every department to the main branch just to make an executive decision of shareholders.” Seijuro isn’t even full-time on T.E.’s payroll, but as their prime freelancing marketing consultant, it was necessary for Mikoshiba Incorporated to witness the meeting. Natsuya yanks his tie loose and flops in the nearest chair. “It’s democracy, one of the two greatest contributions to society.” His face slates over as he takes a pull from his cigar. “That and getting fucked up the ass.” “I’ve tried both and they’re overrated,” Nagisa says, tossing his empty coffee cup over his shoulder and into the trashcan. He spreads his notes across Makoto’s desk, organizing in a way that only the P.A. can understand. Nitori comes over to view the conference transcript and braces his hands on his hips, grim-browed. “What was that one gentleman’s name that wanted to buy half your stocks?” Sousuke snorts into his glass. “Which one? The guy that looked like he should be underground worshiping rats?” “No,” Nagisa says, leafing through some folders. “The one with the personality of a sentient enema.” “Ito-san,” Makoto supplies, half-asleep on the lounge. Lemon is his office-cat of the day and she cuddles his shoulder. Nitori nods. “Right, him.” His eyes skim through the appropriate folder and he sighs over at Sousuke. “If you aren’t comfortable with Ito-san being a shareholder, you’ll have to do what he can’t.” Seijuro scoffs, “What, drive sober?” “That and prove Tachibana Enterprises is still a mom-and-pop business.” Nitori crosses his arms. “Yamazaki-san, you and Tachibana-san are still the figureheads of this company. You don’t have to blindly grab anyone’s money just because there’s a lot of it.” He hesitates. “But you’ll have to make a choice. You’re at a crossroads of identity as a company.” Natsuya says, “Ito-san is a shareholder at Kirishima International as well, my father said that man is so radioactive that he can read newspapers in the bathroom from the light of his own shit.” Sousuke stares in disbelief before kneading his forehead, which pulses to the touch. “Even if we omit Ito-san, none of the investors were good candidates. The youngest prospect talked like he had never seen the world outside a limo with a hot tub; he doesn’t understand how decisions can affect our individual employees.” “If he’s absent-minded, then he won’t pull out if the stocks drop,” Makoto tries. Sousuke balks. “Kinjou Kaede is a goddamn animal. No one thinks rationally when they’re nineteen and just inherited a fortune.” He takes a drink and holds the whiskey in his mouth, letting it burn his insides and fuel his indignation. “Kid prowled into the building like a fucking Bengal tiger.” Nagisa makes a face. “It was pretty hot, though.” “ – and he watched us like he was waiting for us to pour honey on his cock and suck it.” “Mm, too forward,” Nitori nods solemnly. “There’s no way I’m answering to some smug teenager.” Sousuke takes another angry drink. Having a bad shareholder, especially one to the caliber that Kinjou wants, is like being declawed, defanged, and neutered. Not a good equation for a productive work environment – Sousuke is too stubborn to try and improve such a fate. Nagisa considers. “Kinjou might not be that bad, he’s cute. But like, kind of how lions are cute: from a distance with an electric fence between you.” “Kinjou told his P.A. that you’re too busy cutting eff-holes in peaches to do your job right,” Nitori drones, not glancing up from his paperwork. Nagisa looks stunned in the most pleased way. “Do I radiate that much Top Energy? I better keep wearing this Calvin Klein shit I snagged from Haru-chan’s bedroom.” Makoto startles an excited blush with eyes tripled in size before Sousuke cuts everyone off. “If we go with Ito-san, we’re playing it safe and this company won’t be seen as ours anymore. He’ll get all the credit for any forthcoming success because he took a chance on two young CEOs, and everyone will think our profits are due to his wisdom.” Makoto’s frame tightens and he heaves a defeated breath, shaking his head. He looks as trapped as Sousuke feels. Sousuke continues, “If we go with Kinjou, we are going to catch hell from any other long-standing corporations, not to mention the media.” Seijuro nods, lifting his brows. “You’re new money.” He says it with a smirk. “At Mikoshiba Incorporated, my father actually likes that. New money is all cash – it’s no bullshit.” He shrugs as he takes another pull, seeming hopeful. “We’re the next era of business. If the older people can’t evolve, that’s their problem. Money is money and cash is king. That’s all that matters.”   His speech invigorates something deep in Sousuke – a reckoning. He sits up straighter as he regards his brother, who considers. Makoto casts a miserable look at the floor before he shakes his head, giving in to the determination pouring through his veins. His gaze hardens before he nods at Sousuke with grim consent. “All right. We give Kinjou some shares, but not as many as he wanted. Start him out small, see what he does with it. Let the media get used to the idea of him before he’s got the chance to do anything irrational.” Sousuke nods in response, petrified to move forward, but as satisfied as he can be with their circumstance. Everyone slips out to leave the brothers alone and after a while of sharing miserable silence, Sousuke hauls himself to his feet. “Well, I’m headed to take a swan dive off the roof. Care to join me?” “Maybe later.” Makoto keeps scrolling through his phone, inspired. “Are loofas a decent Christmas gift?” Sousuke’s expression dries with disappointment. “You’re rich.”   “They make nice loofas.” “Who the fuck thinks about fiber count when they’re washing their ass, Mako?” Makoto grimaces with a shudder. “It’s for Haru.” He takes off his glasses to rub his eyes in frustration. “He likes baths, I don’t know. I just want to get him something he’d like.” Lemon wanders over and Sousuke picks her up to cuddle the cat against his chest. “Taking baths is a staple of his character? He doesn’t sound that interesting.” “He’s very interesting,” Makoto pouts. “I’m just bad at gifts. What are you getting Rin for Christmas?” Sousuke shrugs, though it’s a confidant motion. “Whatever he wants.” “That’s not interesting,” his brother scoffs. “Or personal.”   Sousuke leans against the wall, careful how he angles his shoulder. “I don’t know, I need to think about it. I don’t want to freak him out or anything.” Makoto glances up from his phone to shoot him a flat look. “I don’t think you could freak him out if you tried, and I mean that nicely. Haru told me that Rin’s obsessed with you.” “Mm.” He doesn’t say more, though he flushes with pride, and he smirks when Makoto rolls his eyes. His brother sighs, “Well, I need to hurry up and choose something since he and Rin are taking a flight back home tomorrow.” Sousuke’s smirk drops and his arms fall slack. Lemon squawks in the air before landing on her feet. “Huh?” “Did you forget?” “Rin never told me.”

Preview of SouRin Sugar Daddy AU “Death of a Bachelor” Chapter 18

Things get easier with Sousuke, somehow. Rin doesn’t think about the incident at the hospital as much as he thinks about what Kisumi told him to consider, so Rin does; he doesn’t sit down and have a crisis over it, but he considers as the days roll by. He thinks about how cold weather makes him crave snuggling and how Sousuke always puts a hand on him once Rin starts shivering. Loneliness is harder in the winter – at least it used to be. But Sousuke’s next few days of recovery are nothing short of heavenly. Rin wakes up like a dream each morning, the sheets so luxurious and fresh twisted around his legs, and there’s a comfortable imprint of his body in Sousuke’s mattress now – Rin snuggles deeper into the spot, hugs Sousuke’s arms tighter around him and just drifts through bleary-eyed ecstasy until he nudges Sousuke awake. The man is nothing short of adorable as he grumbles and stubbornly nuzzles his face into Rin’s shoulder. Rin laughs like he never has before – brief and quiet, but soft with emotion. It’s a delicate noise that he does not mind sharing. Other days, Sousuke wakes up first and tickles him awake from behind, cramming his fingers against Rin’s ribs to make him scream awake. He kicks the sheets and jolts, breathless with laughter, and Sousuke pins him down for dozens of sloppy pecks all over his face until Rin fears that his heart might burst. Rin makes coffee with Sousuke hanging over his back; they’re barefoot with unkept hair and greedy for each others warmth though the house is hardly cold. Winter is a good excuse to be clingy. They always bring their coffee back to bed and hide under blankets, letting the hours tick by without a care. Their voices stay hushed despite that there’s no one around to listen to them sharing secrets and sweet nothings. Rin’s never been more comfortable being so close to someone, the sheets pulled all the way over their heads as they make a world of their own. Sunlight breaks through the fabric and gives their skin a dull glow that entrances Rin – he never wants to let go of those moments. They lie on their sides with Rin’s thigh hugging Sousuke’s hip, and he runs both hands down Sousuke’s lips just to touch him. Rin watches his own fingers move, watches Sousuke’s lower lip roll open under his thumb as his heart drums in the soft quiet. Rin can never breathe at times like this, when resolve prickles in the back of his mind. He meets Sousuke’s eyes and feels hopeless in the best way possible.  

Preview of SouRin & MakoHaru AU “Death of a Bachelor” Chapter 17

Haru’s spent his life being content by himself. In fact, he prefers it; he has no shame in choosing a night-in over a party and is perfectly fine with walking back and forth to his classes alone. All day. Every day. Taking the same boring route with the same boring trees, trying to stay out of the same peoples’ way when they won’t look up from their phones and watch where they’re going. Even though the semester is over, Haru dreads the monotony that will repeat itself come spring time. He used to appreciate the predictability of a routine, where the expectations were safe. The only routine he can count on in college is stress, recycling one subject into another work shift where nothing remarkably wonderful ever happens. Well – rarely happens. But oh, when it does. Haru watches Makoto from the lounge in his office, running his teeth over his lower lip without meaning to. He ponders why Makoto looks completely at odds with his suit – is it because his laugh lines are nothing like the stiff angles of his collar? Could it be the foreboding shade of his blazer that’s gray as winter? Even as unapproachable as Makoto looks with his haggard frown aimed at the computer screen, he doesn’t intimidate Haru. He knows that he could say absolutely anything in this moment and Makoto would look at him like he hung the moon. It’s gratifying. It’s addictive. Haru situates the blanket over his lap to get more comfortable, settling in for another long night of making sure Makoto’s head doesn’t explode from stress - this is not the first or last time he will gaze at the man forlornly after sneaking into his office past closing. Haru rests his chin on the back of the lounge with a pout. “Come sit with me.” Makoto laughs but his voice dies out when he looks over at Haru’s expression. Haru’s destroyed the will of many people with his pout; he has no shame in its evil tendencies. Why should he? It gets him what he wants and right now, both he and Makoto want to be closer. Makoto shuffles over, flopping down beside Haru to close his eyes, and it’s good that Makoto isn’t looking at him when he laces their fingers together because the awe shows on Haru face. Why is it that he feels the loneliest when Makoto touches him? Like there’s something missing, a place inside of him that needs to be filled? He stares down at their hands, observing the differences. Haru’s fingers are visibly delicate, his skin naturally pale to a starting degree. Makoto’s palms are harsh but warm, his fingers short and thick. His nails are smooth when Haru sweeps a thumb over them, gazing at Makoto with the faint realization that Haru wants.

Preview of SouRin AU “Death of a Bachelor” Chapter 14

Rin mumbles, “Do you wanna talk about it?” Sousuke moves like a walking light, a gray star wandering across the floor. He eases down beside Rin on the couch and the few feet between them feels like a canyon that promises a long and grueling journey if Rin tries to cross it. He swears his chest is caving in. It takes such effort to hold back the tears that he shakes. Sousuke’s brows sink together into a pinch of tension that Rin would smooth out with his thumb if only he had the right to do so. “Baby,” Sousuke says softly, as if the word escaped from the core of himself, and Rin fucking breaks. The lone tear that drips off his chin is a victory against the flood he’s holding back inside. “I feel like you’re made at me,” he croaks, voice trembling in restraint and entirely too small. Sousuke’s expression falls slack before he tries to compose it. “No. I’m not.” His firmness leaves no room for argument but its so naturally harsh that Rin flinches – he knows Sousuke didn’t mean it, that he’s running on autopilot and lost to his own shock and that he cannot afford to be tender at a time like this, but – Sousuke realizes his error in a single breath and turns away to let out a jet of air through his nose. His gaze tracks the floor before wandering up to meet Rin’s timid eyes, and the man’s face softens with his voice. “Come here.” “I –” “Come here, baby,” he says with all the affection he can muster, and Rin scoots over as if it isn’t a physical pain not to fling himself into Sousuke’s arms. Sousuke pulls Rin over his lap with a tug on the back of his knee and this is the first time Rin’s straddled anyone without his blood being damn near acidic with burning lust. This isn’t that kind of embrace – yes, the touching is a primitive comfort, yet it’s calculated on Sousuke’s part. He’s measuring Rin’s expression like a man desperate to fix the problems in which they both take blame; they’re fighting over that blame in a useless tug-of-war, and it all shows in the apologetic silence. Rin stares down at the crux of his own parted thighs, looking at his empty hands with no courage to move them. His eyes close when Sousuke cups his face and though the touch is impossibly gentle, Rin feels the strength of his sweeping thumbs, buries his face in the nearest palm like a hungry moth to flame. Rin finds the bravery to look up as Sousuke’s thumbs smear his tears down to nothing but a gleam on his cheeks, and no man has ever looked as heartbroken as Sousuke does. “I’m so,” he murmurs, shifting his hands to cradle Rin’s face, “So, sorry.” A sob punches out of Rin and he hates himself for it because he’s doing everything he shouldn’t – he’s supposed to be strong or at least pretend to be indifferent to the horror of what’s going on. “It’s not your fault.” He shakes his head pleadingly with it, begging Sousuke to let him shoulder this blame. The side of Sousuke’s mouth crooks up and it’s everything a smile shouldn’t be; it’s an acceptance of defeat, like he’s felt all of this before, a hundred times, in so many different ways. How many times has this man been swallowed by a scandal, left to choke on the cruelty of strangers? Was he a young boy the first time such darkness swarmed his gut and left him cold with hollowness inside? Are children even children in the wake of wealth? Rin asks himself this question even as he readily knows that he could never bear the answer. “I’m the one who kissed you in those gardens,” Sousuke says, and his tone might be considered playful at another time, in some other universe, but right now it’s just a bitter attempt at humor. “Yeah, but I’m the one who suggested we go there.” Rin’s hands hover over Sousuke’s biceps just close enough to feel his heat and crave it like mad, but his fingers jumble together in his lap instead. “I should have been more careful.” Sousuke huffs at that and it’s short yet fond all at once. “Rin, you didn’t know to be careful.” Rin winces in shame but Sousuke smooths out his expression with warm brushes of his fingers. He sweeps Rin’s hair aside, taking a selfish moment to indulge as he tucks a strand behind Rin’s ear. Sousuke leans closer, speaking with gentleness. “I’m glad you didn’t know. It shows how different we are.” Rin frowns, defensiveness tightening in his chest, and Sousuke’s smile might be brief but it’s one of endearment. “I have to be thinking… constantly. About how I look, where my eyes go. If I’m holding myself the right way.” He shakes his head in a daze. “You don’t give a fuck about any of that. You’re who you are and if people don’t like it then they just stop existing to you. I admire that.” He folds a hand over the side of Rin’s flushed throat to brush a secret against his ear. “I’m jealous of you.”   

Rin blinks, lips parting before snapping shut. Sousuke keeps their cheeks tucked together, nuzzling into Rin’s hair with a long breath. “I’ll never be as carefree as you, but it’s not frustrating. I’m…” He swallows and Rin clenches Sousuke’s forearms at the noise. The man’s chuckle is embarrassed. “I’m in awe of you, every time I see you smile like you think you could fight the world. I have every faith that you could.” Sousuke might be speaking about stolen innocence, but Rin’s lost in the afterglow of such words.