everyone cheer for him!!! u can do it big boy :DD

bonus:

idiot bros being supportive bros

2/9/2015 v. 8/11/2020

1:Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. My favorite movie is Scream, and it started when I saw the midnight premier of Scream 4 with my dad back when I was in 8th grade, then Scream 1 came on AMC late on night and I just really like it

I still think Scream is one of my favorites, but Halloween has jumped up there just because I am obsessed with all things horror really lol. I started to love Halloween because of the new trilogy.

2:Talk about your first kiss. It’s really not that interesting but really like embarrassing. It was with my first boyfriend and I had just turned 15 and we were at the school just walking around and we went into the band hall and I was like ok im leaving and he was like wait and we kissed and i was like o

the same ! 

3:Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. I never really have had intense feelings for anyone. I d k

One my exes- I mean we were dating for awhile so that’s pretty intense to me. 

4:Talk about the thing you regret most so far. I regret… Nothing really I mean, I have done really bad things in my life, but i don’t regret them

I regret failing like 2 semesters of college lmao and almost dropping out. If i didn’t then I would 1- would have been done earlier and 2- would have already completed a year of grad school but IDK also another is wasting lots of money in 2017-2018

5:Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. The best birthday I’ve had was.. Idk This year was was nice I saw Iggy Azalea in concert, then I celebrated my friends’ birthday then mine and it was just everyone got to get together so ya this year my 18th

For my 21st birthday I went to Portland, Oregon and spent the weekend there and it was pretty and my first time there so it was nice despite what I think about PDX now. I don’t even know what I was doing for my 19 and 20th birthday lol. 

6:Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. My 17th birthday because I was stuck 2 hours away from home with a bunch of nerds doing a band competition 

That is still probably my worst birthday. I forget to mention that I was gone literally from like 7am to midnight. They werent a bunch of loser nerds, they were my friends, but I still wish I was just at home lol. 

7:Talk about your biggest insecurity. I am skinny, but not fit. If I eat anything I get this like stomach and it makes me so sad. and ever since I got a job I work odd hours and I eat a lot of fast food and I’ve gained 10 pounds in 2 years and I guess i’m insecure about my weight

I am still insecure about my weight, and I probably weight like 5 pounds more than I did when I made this post 5 1/2 years ago. 

8:Talk about the thing you are most proud of. We have band banquets for band, and I only went my sophomore and junior year, and seniors give out awards to underclassmen that are just jokes really, and both years 4 different seniors gave me an award for being the biggest gossip in the entire band and I was proud of that lol

Well since then I have graduated both high school and college. I am proud that I finished college !! A BS in Psych. Proud of myself that I got promoted (in 2017) at my job; i’m proud of myself that I have my own apartment, and blah blah basically just doing regular adult shit. 

9:Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. I like my nose because of how perfectly fixed it is. I also really like my freckles/moles/dark marks idk what they are exactly, but they’re on my face and they look great

I still feel the same way about this, maybe add my eyebrows- they’re not like clean and nice they’re just expression markers on my face that i love.

10:Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. I got into a fight with my old friend Angelica and that was almost 4 months ago and we used to be best friends and now we never talk.

When Janett didn’t talk to me all summer of 2019 because I told our other friend Angel something

11:Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. I cant remember one 12:Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. I can’t remember one

13:Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. The closest thing i’ve had to like sex was being locked in a back of an SUV with a stranger drunk as fuck and naked and its embarrassing

Just awkward and nothing to which I expected. 

14:Talk about a vacation. When I was 16, the high school band took a trip to Hawaii, and all my friends were in band so it was great. We did a lot of things, we toured Pearl Harbor and even played a few patriotic songs on the USS Miss. and our hotel was on Wakiki beach. I went snorkeling in some beautiful water and shit and idk just walked all around Hawaii having a great time omg we got on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe and sang with German people i miss it

Hm that was fun. But I.. went to NY with my ex and that was pretty cool because I literally love New York, and I went to NOLA two years ago (today actually) and got miserably drunk so that was fun too 

15:Talk about the time you were most content in life. Probably just in the middle of junior year when everything and everyone was going with the flow

I feel like 2016 was a very content year because I remember nothing about it. 

16:Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. Idk which one to talk about the one where I had a lot of fun and risked my life or the one where there was a lot of drama stirred up and drank myself to sadness. 

I haven’t really been to a party? I have gone out and had good times. Really anytime my friends and I go out I am having a good time 

17:Talk about someone you want to be friends with. I am already friends with people I want to be friends with

18:Talk about something that happened in elementary school. I kissed a boy on the back of the head and i told I just fell onto his head

Let me think of another one. Back in like fourth grade my friend was in a wheel chair and his backpack was falling from the back and I was trying to grab it and i was only 3 feet tall i couldnt see over or wasnt paying attention and i crashed him right into the bookshelves at the library. 

19:Talk about something that happened in middle school. A girl was mad at me because idk why lol and she pushed me in the hall way and I fucking flew across that hall on the floor and hit the wall she’s pregnant now

When I was in 5th grade (which is considered middle school in my district) I was standing on the play ground and someone threw a stick at my head and it knocked me the fuck out and I was bleeding from my temple.

20:Talk about something that happened in high school. In Jr. Year I was pulling into the parking lot but I was texting and I accidentally put half my car on grass area near the side walk luckily it was 7am and only one person saw me do it lol

One summer going into our senior year we had a party at Michelle’s house. First of all we were very drunk and Coby’s parents were like we are coming over and we cleaned TF UP so fast and sat on the couch and turned on I Know What You Did Last Summer and his parents were like interesting and and left and then we continued to drink anyways- we started playing truth or dare and my friend Angelica was like I dare u to kiss Anthony (someone I had liked prior) and he wouldnt and we started attacking him and calling him homophobic and hitting him with pillows lmao- him and I are still friend-ish

21:Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I can’t think of something right now.

Literally anyone on grindr.

22:Talk about your worst fear. I’m afraid of having no career and being stuck doing something I hate and living paycheck to paycheck

Yeah, I’m scared of that still but I.. think just like being broke and jobless. RN with the pandemic we aren’t really working and still getting gov’t assistance, so.  IDK being a real real adult scares me a lot. 

23:Talk about a time someone turned you down. I can’t think of a time :)

One time in like 2016 maybe idk - this dude told me to come over and he lived far like not that far maybe 25 minutes lol far for me anyways I got to his apartment and there was a gate code and i asked him what it was and he didnt answer and it was like 2-3am and nobody was coming in or out and so i was like damn this sucks lmao

24:Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. Nothing really has meant a lot to me. Everyone tells me the same thing over and over again and its so surface level

I still can’t think of anything but I’m sure the friends I have met since this and my friends Faith, Michelle, Peter, and Alisa have said something supportive that meant a lot to me. 

25:Talk about an ex-best friend. Angelica Ramirez. She was my best friend for only 3 years, but together we went through A LOT of shit. We started out senior year just fine, but she lied about a few things and made a lot of us feel like crap in October. I won’t lie, I do miss her. We have too many memories to just forget, too many funny stories and great adventures. She helped me with too much, and sometimes I think about how I cut her out of my life and I mad a bad choice. But only time can heal things and I have moved on and truly found people that won’t make me mad every 30 seconds. 

Brianna Pajak, I don’t remember anything about her except she was poor and we stopped being friends because she always wanted to fight and be annoying. 

26:Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Lay on bed on my computer and watch TV

I normally just suffer and cry about wishing I was healthy again.

27:Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Their…!!>>>??? 

I must have nice hands and ur nose must be nice too! so nose and hands. lol

28:Talk about your fetishes. none

yeah I don’t have any lol not that I can think of. 

29:Talk about what turns you on. Idk i really like kissing and touching and this is awkward. 

30:Talk about what turns you off. bad breath by

that and ugly/rough hands, acne sorry i know it is natural but, shorter than me lol, white people, long hair on guys, and thats about it i think hm i am single yes 

31:Talk about what you think death is like. I think its like idk its scary tho

um idk i dont like thinking about death because i literally want to cry when i think about it. 

32:Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. I remember being in trees a lot

My step grandma’s a lot because my parents were working and she would watch us. She passed away about a month ago :( 

33:Talk about what you do when you are sad. I usually only tell one person and that person is Alisa and I cry sometimes to her and expect her to make things better and she does thank u

I be doing the same thing, I text someone and that person could really be anyone but it happened the other day and I texted Bri and she was very helpful. 

34:Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I have no idea, I’ve never broken pulled strained twisted fractures or anything i have no life

I still haven’t done any of that stuff to my body. I also have burn scars but I did not feel those when it was happening. I would just say i guess my wisdom teeth coming in because I did not get them removed. I have 3 out lol.

35:Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Pushing potential love interests away 

I have had some ‘love interests’ since this post, but it’s been about a year now since and I kind of push away the opportunity of getting close to someone. I also need to stop being a bitch sometimes. 

36:Talk about your guilty pleasures. eating 

I would say idk eating was a stupid answer. 

37:Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. never

I was in love and i didn’t ‘think’ I was in love. I don’t know what you mean by talk about them, they were my partner but we broke up hehe.

38:Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Fireflies by Owl City reminds me of my 7th grade crush Fancy by Iggy Azalea reminds me of my two friends Michelle and Alisa idk anything else

um Idk. i rly cant think  39:Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. I wish I would have known that

That it’s okay to tell people you’re struggling lol . That is okay to fail sometimes (school).  40:Talk about the end of something in your life. everything is just about to start

When I ended how to get away with murder I wish I never did I love that show with all my heart. 

So, What Are We Doing This Summer?

It was called to my attention that Henry's age was confirmed as 17 in either the Frittle episode or his birthday episode (I've not repeatedly watched those, so I didn't remember), which would either put them in their senior year or put Henry as a graduating 18 year old next year, which does happen, so I'll go with that.

Also, for some reason, all of the italics and bolds and such disappear whenever I paste to Tumblr. I honestly don’t feel like redoing tonight, but the ffnet post has them, for various emphasis on words and stuff, if that’s a better read for you.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13274210/7/So

So, What Are We Doing This Summer?

There was no Sweet Sixteen thing that she wanted to do. To be fair, her parents wanted to throw her something and invite her friends over, but she just wanted a nice dinner, some cake, maybe a museum trip and to look over college packets. Last birthday, she went to a show that she wanted to see with her friends, but it was such a hectic night that she almost didn't get to see it.

That's how plans with the friends tended to go. Unexpected and hectic. So, Sweet Sixteen, she was doing things with her parents! And that was all that there was to it!

"But, what about the time WE want to spend with you?" Jasper asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and handed him a pamphlet. "Here. Underline cons in red, highlight pros in pink."

"What is this?"

"College brochures."

"Why are you looking at college brochures, we still have more than a year of high school left?"

She laughed, "And I very well can't figure out what schools to apply to after graduation. Senior year student council has so much to do for all of those senior ceremonies, I want to make sure I've given myself time to think about where I'm going."

"Why not Swellview University?" He wondered.

"It's on my list, but not my top choice. I want an HBCU or an Ivy League school."

"I'm gonna go right there to Swellview U. It's a good school!"

"I'm sure it's great. It's just not exactly what I want," she said and they heard the sound of Captain Man and Kid Danger coming down the tubes.

She smiled at them as they approached, resuming some kind of debate. "Dude, there's no way that a giant pancake could best a giant waffle. The waffle has ridges!" Henry fussed, then kissed her on the cheek.

"What are you two even TALKING about?"

"Animated and animatronic breakfast foods," Ray said, popping gum into his mouth. "Henry thinks that sausage would be more of a romantic than bacon and that a giant waffle could defeat a giant pancake in a fight to the death, covered in butter and syrup!"

"HOW do these subjects get started?" Charlotte wondered as they changed back.

"What about a crepe?" Jasper wondered.

Henry and Ray both laughed and repeated, "Crepe?"

"Oh yeah, a giant CREPE can fight!" Ray taunted.

Henry added, "Guess it's gonna just roll up to the scene, since he's gonna lose his innards if he steps up." The duo fell on each other laughing. Jasper sighed and shook his head.

"I'm not sure why you entered their weird little world."

"Third Wheel Syndrome has me sensitive, I think."

Henry took a seat next to Charlotte and asked Jasper, "What do you mean?"

"Since the two of you got together, I'm feeling left out," Jasper admitted.

"How? I just spent four hours stuck in a vat of scrambled eggs and country gravy. You and Char have been here going through…" he picked one up from in front of Charlotte and she sucked her teeth. "College brochures." He set it down, "Jasp you're leaving for college too?"

"No. I'm marking pros and cons for Charlotte. I'm going to Swellview University. We talked about this."

"I know! I was gonna be super upset if you were gonna run off on me. Bad enough she will be." He pointed a thumb to Charlotte.

"What happens when that happens?" Jasper wondered.

"It's at least a year in the future. We haven't even discussed what we're doing this summer," Charlotte said. The three were quiet for a moment. Ray and Schwoz were talking among themselves a few feet away.

Henry broke the collective silence between their trio by asking, "So, what are we going to do this summer"

"There's my birthday.." Jasper said then squinched his face and shook his head, "You weren't talking to me, were you?"

"I was talking to you both. Anybody have plans already?"

"I never have plans," Jasper said, almost certain that Henry was definitely only talking to Charlotte.

She said, "Same old same old for me. Summer Youth Program in June. Beginning of July trip with my parents. The only thing different this year is I'm going to add three or four campus tours of whichever colleges have the least cons and most pros."

"Need company?" Henry wondered. She furrowed her eyebrows and actually looked up at him. "Just to you know, make sure that you enjoy yourself despite the work."

"I love college tours. I'll enjoy myself," she said.

Henry pouted, "Fine." She looked questioningly at the sky about his salty tone, but left it alone. Henry sighed, "Jasper, do you think you'll want to spend any time with me this summer?"

"I thought you'd never ask!" Jasper cheered. Charlotte rolled her eyes. She hadn't said that she wasn't going to spend any time with him.

In fact, her visits would be four weekends from the entire summer. Her Youth Program was on Thursdays. Her trip was two weeks. Aside from that, she was pretty sure she'd see both of these clowns every other summer moment. She'd tuned out the boys making plans without her whenever she heard Jasper declare, "It's gonna be super hard for us to do these things whenever you and Charlotte are married and stuff."

Henry shook his head and Charlotte chimed in, "Whenever what?"

Jasper reminded her, "Remember that whole hashtag Henlotte thing?"

"That was a joke, Bro," Henry said, laughing a little uncomfortably. "Nobody actually thought that I was proposing or that we were gonna be kissing. That's why it was so hilarious."

"Yeah, but you are kissing. You kiss a lot. You're together. Charlotte's thinking about her upcoming colleges before junior year end. Do we really believe she's not thinking beyond that?" Henry's head turned sharply and quickly to Charlotte.

She scoffed and said, "Don't look so panicked. As it turns out, I've been focused enough on my educational future that I haven't been circling anything in bridal books on the off chance that my boyfriend ever wants to me to participate in the antiquated institution of marriage."

Henry sighed, relieved, "Oh thank God. Wait. So… You never wanna get married, at all? To anybody?"

"Honestly, it's never crossed my mind. I've had one stupid boyfriend and I'm only 16. Why I would daydream about becoming someone's less respected partner is beyond me."

"Less respected?" Jasper repeated.

But Henry was stuck on "Stupid boyfriend?"

Charlotte snatched her brochures from Jasper and explained, "Married women are taken less seriously than their married male counterparts in the corporate world. Whether I go into STEM, academia, politics, business, or even if my degree proves useless and I wind up regretting decisions in retail - women are already valued less and when you add a wedding ring, they're expected to be full time workers and full time homemakers while Daddy retreats into his little solo space to unwind after his hard day's work. And don't let her become a mom! She doesn't get the necessary time off to be the kind of mother that everyone expects. Simultaneously, whatever kind of mother she is, the workplace thinks is too much." She was stuffing her bag and then looked at Henry, "And for the record, just because I haven't thought about it doesn't mean that I need your graphic depictions of relief about it!" She snatched her bag and headed for the elevator.

Jasper called out, "Okay, but that explanation of the workplace tells that you've definitely thought about it."

She glared at him and snapped, "That information is common knowledge to women!"

As the elevator door shut, Henry looked confused. "So.. Am I supposed to be thinking about marriage, or not?"

"I think that you shouldn't be, because Charlotte doesn't have marriage plans, but maybe if it crosses your mind, try to not seem repulsed by Charlotte being your wife? Her execution of the subject was all over the place."

"The place of lies," Ray said. "Women wanna get married. It's their reward for being good girlfriends!"

"That's a gross oversimplification of like everything involved in what you said," Henry commented. "Honestly, now that I think about it, Charlotte has literally never mentioned anything about weddings or marriage or anything like it. Not even so much as a "I'll play this song someday at my wedding."

Ray commented, taking a seat by Henry, "That's probably because she's been resigned to the fact that nobody's ever gonna marry her. I mean, she's the worst, amirite?"

"You're not," Jasper said, at the same time Henry said, "No."

"So, either of you can picture having Charlotte there, every single day, nagging you, telling you what to do, why this is unsafe or that's unwise?"

"That sounds like every day of my life since 5th grade," Jasper said.

"Yeah! Char is the smart one. We all know that. We need someone like that everyday!"

Ray muttered, "Still the worst."

"What is your problem with Charlotte?" Henry asked, exasperated."I mean, what if this does go different for us than my other relationships and it winds up being something real and lasting. Do I always have to worry that you're gonna be a butt to her?"

Ray laughed, "Yeah. I've known this was coming for a long time. I'm not treating her any differently no matter what status you have. Because as far as I'm concerned you've always been endgame… Also, she's the worst."

"Because she forces you to have to be better?" Jasper wondered.

Ray groaned and mumbled, "For your information, yes."

.

Charlotte came home and her uncle was on the couch, watching TV. What else was new? "Hey, Uncle Roscoe.

"Hey, Niece! You wanna watch the Kids Danger cartoon with me?"

"No. I've gotta look over college info so Mom and Dad will be able to plan my visits in between their orchestras and excavations. Speaking of, are they out tonight?"

"The Swellview Opera House. Your mom says there's a casserole just for you in the oven. Don't worry, I don't want whatever that is. I'm ordering a pizza." She nodded, disappointed that she wouldn't be able to discuss her college choices with them tonight. "You wanna watch one of your wedding dress shows?" Uncle Roscoe wondered.

"No."

"Not even Say Yasss, This is Your Drass?" He turned off the TV and wondered, "What's wrong, Tiny?"

"Sometimes, I feel like an outsider. Even in my own home and even with my only friends. Like, we're all sharing this one life, but nobody's on the journey with me and those that are on the journey, we're not on the same page."

"You know, I was an outsider like that too. Shoot, still to this day, as a starving artist."

"How can you be starving when you live here and eat everything we have?"

“I ain’t eat that grass casserole your mom made you.”

“I’m sure you mean bean sprouts,” she said, “And that’s not the whole casserole…” The doorbell rang and she looked at him. He reached for the remote control and she gave him a look. “I’ll get it.” She went to the door and by the time she peeked out of the peephole to see Henry nervously bouncing, Uncle Roscoe was laughing at something on the television. She called, “I’m gonna step outside and talk to my friend, Unc.”

“Girl, I’m watching my shows,” he said. Basically, he didn’t care.

She opened the door and stepped outside. Henry laughed, “Your friend? Something you need to tell me?” He joked, awkwardly. “What do you need, Henry?” She asked, sounding irritated.

“I need to explain what happened earlier.”

“Okay.”

“So… Jasper was talking about marriage and we’ve never spoken about that, because neither of us are thinking that far ahead into us. But, whenever I seemed relieved, it wasn’t because I think I’d never wanna marry you or something. I just thought that we were both in the same space - a space where that’s not even a conversation yet. So, I’m sorry if I sounded insulting to you.”

She shrugged her shoulders, “We rushed really fast into the entire boyfriend-girlfriend thing. There’s no need for us to rush anything into anything else. So, it’s fine.”

“But, you seemed upset.”

“Yeah. For the reason that I told you, but it’s not a big deal. Honestly, I have other things to be upset about. Maybe it just landed on you. So, I’m sorry.”

"You wanna talk about your things?" He asked.

She sighed and leaned against the front door. "You know how my parents and I go on a trip every summer together?"

"Yeah?"

"This year is the last one. Next year, they're sending me on a solo trip after graduation to see the world myself before college."

"That sounds awesome."

"But, I hardly see them now and I just want them to go over the pros and cons of these colleges with me. I know that sounds silly to other people, but it's a huge decision to make and I wish sometimes that they'd be more involved instead of just trusting my judgement. They raised me to be independent and they don't realize that sometimes, I could use just a little dependency, you know?"  

Henry nodded, "Yeah, I get that. I haven't been able to depend on my parents in quite a while. But… I've always been able to depend on my friends. So, if you just need someone to lean on, I literally have nothing better to do than here for you." Henry offered her a hug and she smiled a small smile and accepted it. When she was hugging him, he said, "And it'd be excellent, I think… some time in the far future… you know?" She looked up at him. "IF we were thinking about that."

She nodded, "If I was gonna sell myself out in that way, it'd be with my best friend." He laughed. "I meant everything that I said about marriage! The only way that I'd be on board is if it was handled like a business arrangement with someone I trust."

"You trust like two people," he chuckled.

"Yep. And they'd both be IN the marriage."

"Me and???"

She stared at him and suggested, "Think it through."

"OH, YOU!"

"I already regret this unofficial contract."

"Fortunately, we've got a long time to even think about that. We haven't even discussed..  the physical evolution of our relationship." Her eyes widened and she wondered if he was talking about what she thought he was. He noticed and quickly changed the subject, "Or what you and me are doing this summer!"

She relaxed and nodded, "Aside from the few weeks, four weekends and Thursdays, I'm all yours…"  He raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm open! I mean my time is free! I have a casserole to check on. I gotta get inside!" She rushed back in, shut the door and Henry shook his head and left. "Why would bring that up, Henry? She was already having a day. I mean, sure.. you wanna discuss it. But, you haven't been together that long and it was a FLUKE that you even got her. This happened kinda haphazardly. You're gonna screw it up if you keep being weird!"

Charlotte leaned against the door, breathing hard. Are… we THERE yet??? She glanced out of the window and saw Henry look back at the house before walking away with his head down. A few minutes later, she got a text: Hey. Sorry if I scared you bringing up THAT. I won't mention it again. I don't want stuff weird between us. Call me when you don't feel awkward.

She sighed with relief and replied instantly: Thanks, Hen. You're a great friend and honestly the best boyfriend.

Henry: Not stupid boyfriend?

Charlotte: Not at all. ILU

Henry: SAME.

what is the second to last letter of your first name? ”I.” how bout the last letter of your last name? -- 5th letter of your middle name? -- what time was it 17 minutes ago? 6:09AM. when was the last time you ate your favorite food? I had ramen a few hours ago, which is one of my favorite foods.

what food is that? ^^^ describe the shoes you wore today I haven’t worn any so far and have no plans to. do you drink coffee? I sure do. what song are you currently listening to? I’m not listening to music; I’m listening to an ASMR video. tell me a line from that song -- how long has your favorite animal been your favorite animal? I’ve loved giraffes and dogs since I was a kid. when was the last time you spoke to your mom? Last night before she went to bed. tell me about something interesting you did today It’s only 6:28AM so not much. I dozed off around 230ish and woke up at like 5:45 needing pain medicine and then decided to scroll through Tumblr and do some surveys for a bit in hopes that I’ll be able to fall back asleep soon. do you have a job? where? Nope. what is your pet (if you have one) doing right this second? She’s in the living room so I can’t see her at the moment, but I’m going to assume she’s on her couch asleep. what kind of pet is that? She’s a doggo. what is/was your favorite subject in school? English. do you have an instagram? Yes. if so how many posts do you have? *shrug* I don’t feel like checking. have you ever been to Europe? No, but hopefully someday. if so, what country(ies)? -- what's your favorite number? The number 8. does that number have any particular significance to you? Yes. what did you buy the last time you went to the mall? Christmas gifts. what battery percent is your phone at right now? 59%. can you juggle? Nope. what do you expect to be doing in 3 hours from now? Sleeping, hopefully. have you ever done any acting/theater? I actually took a couple acting classes for electives at community college. I’m still surprised I did that. how is your hair currently styled? It’s up in its usual messy bun. do you have a pinterest? I do. if so are you addicted to it like me? No, but I do like spending some time on it. do you know anyone who lives in Massachusetts? No. what's the last movie you saw in theaters? I saw A Quiet Place 2 a few days ago. It was nice being at the movies again and finally getting my movie theater popcorn I had been craving. did you enjoy it? Yeah. what's your favorite color combination? I love pastel combos. can you speak any foreign languages? if so, which one(s)? I can speak a little Spanish. say something in said language: (and its translation) ”Estoy cansada pero no puedo dormir.” --> “I’m tired, but I can’t sleep.” what are your plans for tomorrow? I don’t have any. have you ever visited the location of your favorite movie? I haven’t visited any movie locations, but I think that’s cool and would love to do that with several locations. ever read The Book Thief? (if not you should, it's really good) Nope. what's been the best part of your summer so far? Nothing so far. I hope to make a few beach trips, though. do you know what boomwhackers are? Uhh, no. how about a vibraslap? Nope. what's the last thing you took a picture of? **starting this at a later time* I think it was a screenshot. what's your computer's wallpaper? Alexander Skarsgard. how about your phone? I have a Grumpy Bear Care Bear theme going on currently. what's the last thing you watched on youtube? I’m currently watching a YouTube video. how many facebook friends do you have? (if you have facebook) 100 and something. do you use vsco? I have the app, but I’ve hardly used it. what kind of phone do you have? An iPhone 12 Pro Max. are you musically inclined? No, unfortunately. if so, in what way(s)? -- do you prefer to type in word or google docs? I used Google Docs throughout university. what color is your water bottle? I don’t have a reusable water bottle. are you smart?? I feel I’m just very average. besides basic human nessecities what's one thing you can't live without?: I’d really like to always have my coffee, ha. what religion are you? Christian. have you ever seen your favorite animal in real life? Yes. tell me about a song that has personal significance to you. The acoustic version of “Everlong” by Foo Fighters. what are your opinions on Hamilton? The play or the person? does your cat purr really loud? (if you have a cat) -- does your cat have major mood swings? -- who do you admire? My mom. last time you went to starbucks, what did you order? A venti peppermint white chocolate mocha. have you ever gotten a really good grade on a test you didn't study for? Not a test, but essays and assignments that I may have BS’ed a little. how about a bad grade when you studied really hard? Yes. what's your favorite book you had to read for school? One of them is A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. how about your favorite book in general? I couldn’t choose just one. ever heard of the musical Honk!? (the ! goes with the title) No. have you ever met your favorite celebrity? No. who is that person? Alexander Skarsgard. how many times have you seen your favorite movie? I have many favorite movies. can you count to 100 in any languages other than English? Spanish. when was the last time you went to the beach? September 2019 aka waaaay too long ago. what's your dream concert? Hmm. what state do you live in? California. have you ever been in a youtube video? Yes. I’ve uploaded some vidoes before a longgg time ago, but those will remain private now forever. I don’t know wth I was thinking lol they’re so lame. A friend and I uploaded a few as well that are just like...why. how about in the newspaper? Yes. on TV? Yes, on my local news. on the radio? To request a song back in the day. do you prefer to call, text, or email people? Text. what's your dream job? I don’t have one. :/ last time you were in a theater/concert hall/auditorium what was it for? I saw The Phantom of the Opera a few years ago with my aunt. do you have pierced ears? Yeah, my earlobes are pierced. what's your favorite grocery store? We do our grocery shopping at Walmart and it works out fine. tell me a line from a song you particularly love I have many favorite songs. do you like elephants? Sure. how about giraffes? I love giraffes. describe the shirt you're wearing? I’m wearing an Adidas dress shirt. It’s quite comfortable. what did you have for lunch? I haven’t had lunch, yet, it’s only 6:57AM. is it sunny outside? Not yet. can you stand on your head? No. what's your favorite restaurant? I don’t have one. would you rather travel to the past or the future? The past. what's the best gift you've ever received? I couldn’t possibly choose. describe your perfect day. A nice, relaxing day at the beach. did you have chicks in your class in elementary school? Yes, I went to co-ed schools. I’m also a “chick.” Or are you referring to baby chickens? That would be odd, but *shrug* maybe that was the norm where you’re from lol. do you doodle in your notebooks? Yeah. what month is your birthday in? July. how many times a day do you brush your teeth? At least once, but I try for twice. when did you last change a lightbulb? I don’t remember. what's the last song you sang? I don’t recall at the moment. do you know anyone who had a baby recently? Someone on my Facebook did. do you avoid the cracks on the sidewalk? Yes. name 3 things in your refridgerator. Creamer, soda, leftover pesto pasta from last night. have you ever won an award? Honor roll awards and club stuff.

last time you had ice cream, what flavor? I had a homemade chocolate banana milkshake last night that was made with vanilla ice cream. what other tabs do you currently have open? Pinterest, Bzoink, YouTube, and Google. what's the 4th song in your iTunes under letter S? *shrug* I haven’t used iTunes since like 2012. the 2nd song under letter M? -- do you prefer to travel by car or plane? Depends how far I’m going. what internet browser do you use? Chrome. what's your favorite kitchen utensil? Forks and spoons are pretty great. how do you feel about ducks? They’re cute. ever ridden a horse? No. can you eat with chopsticks? I haven’t given them much of a try, but when I have I was flimsy and just gave up quite quickly. do you know what imbakwa moyo means? (without looking it up)? No. tell me a line from the song you're currently listening to. I’m not listening to music. have you ever been to a u-pick berry farm? No. are you good at dancing? Nope. would you like to swing on a star? That sounds terrifying. have you ever forgotten to do your homework? I was good on staying on top of that because I worried about that happening. do you like Shakespeare? No. if so, which play is your favorite? -- are there certain words/phrases that trigger songs in your brain? Yeah. would you rather read a book or watch a movie? Depends on my mood. who sent the last text message you received? My dad. don't you hate that rainbow spinning wheel on the computer? It’s quite annoying. how many minutes are in a year? 525, 600 minutes. do you only know that from Seasons of Love? Yep. what's your favorite article of clothing? My oversized grahic tees and leggings. Although, these shirt dresses I recently got are very comfortable and convenient. do you prefer even or odd numbers? I don’t have a preference. ever heard a hammer dulcimer? No. do you enjoy going to the library? I loved going to the library as a kid. I went all the time. when did you last write someone an actual letter? I have no idea. what's the last gift you received? A new pair of Beats wireless earbuds. did you know that strawberries and raspberries are not actually berries? I did know that. I still say they are anyway. are you good at spelling? I think so. can you roll your r's Nope. can you lick your elbow? Nope. do you have a twitter? I do. do you recycle? Yeah, cans and plastic bottles. when's the last time you rode the bus? Like 5 years ago. I used to have to take it sometimes in college. what's the longest vacation you've been on? A week. what's your favorite kind of donut? Glazed and maple.  do you own anything from Vera Bradley? No. when you go in a pool do you jump in or use the ladder? I don’t do either. I can’t swim, so if I’m going to get into the pool I have to be helped into an inner tube. do you have perfect pitch? Uh, no. I have no athletic abilities. what's your mom's name? I don’t know if she wants me sharing that. do you have an uncle called Steve? Nope. do you have multiple friends with the same name? I don’t have any friends. do you play neko atsume? No. I don’t even know what it is. what did you think of The Fault In Our Stars? I liked the book and the movie. did you prefer the book or the movie? ^^^ The movie actually had me really crying, though. do you like yogurt? Nah. do you like riding on carousels? Nah. ever played with a pinwheel? Yes. do you like museums? I do. if so, what type is your favorite? I like historical ones. is your bedroom a mess? It’s a little cluttered at the moment. Things have been hectic and I have all these medical supplles spread out right now. what's your favorite thing to eat at Thanksgiving? Turkey, mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, my brother’s homemade baked mac and cheese, rolls, appetizers... ever had a treehouse? No. have you ever seen a kangaroo in real life? No. a year ago today, what were you doing? I could check my Timehop app again and see, but nah. are you procrastinating on something? Not at the moment. do you have a brother? I have two. a sister? No. do you know what a pandereta is? No. are you currently reading a book? I am. what book is it? ”The Girl and the Unlucky 13″ by AJ Rivers. how are you today?? Eh, alright. when's the last time you used a dictionary? I don’t recall. which do you dislike more, doctor or dentist? The dentist. what's the last thing you searched on google? About a movie. do you ever have conversations via text/email with people in the same room? I have. what was your favorite book when you were a little kid? I had many. I’ve always loved to read. ever owned a pet bunny? Nope. how about a goldfish? Yes. what color hair do you have? Naturally, it’s dark brown, but I dye it red. what did you eat for dinner? I haven’t had dinner, yet, but probably just some leftover pesto pasta from last night. what song, if any, is currently stuck in your head? None at the moment. are you right handed or left handed? Right handed. what website did you last visit? (besides this one) Google. what time do you usually go to bed? When the sun is coming up. Sigh. have you seen the movie Miracles From Heaven? No. what is your opinion on muffins? I love muffins. do you remember your locker combination? I don’t have a locker. do you listen to classical music? I haven’t in a long time. ever take buzzfeed quizzes? Yeah. what's your favorite store? Boxlunch and Hot Topic. when's the last time you were onstage? My UC graduation back in 2015. does it snow where you live? No. :( do you like pasta? I loveee pasta. how about chinese food? Yeah. do you prefer to color with markers or colored pencils? Colored pencils for sure. do you usually look good in pictures? Ha, no. I never do. describe the case on your phone It’s a Winnie the Pooh one. what kind of shoes did you wear today? I didn’t. have you seen any plays/musicals recently? No. what's your favorite thing you've been for Halloween? Eh, I don’t really have a favorite. what do you like to eat at the movies? I have to get popcorn. It’s a must. what was your favorite TV show when you were 10? Whatever was on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel basically. do you have neat handwriting? No, my handwriting is shit. what's your favorite quote? I have several. when did you last have a glass of water? Like an hour ago. what's your shoe size? 6 in women’s US. do you wish you were older or younger? Younger. I’d even be fine if I just stayed this age. do you have more than one best friend? No. when did you last brush your teeth? This afternoon. are you wearing socks? Yep. Always. are your nails painted? Nope. I haven’t painted my nails in years. why do people park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? It is what it is. is the glass half empty or half full? Mine is empty. where was the last beach you went to? About 2 hours away. why does the dentist talk to you when they have stuff in your mouth? I never understood that either. when did you last get a haircut? Over a year ago. how many lights are on in the room you're in? Three. do you like wolves? They’re beautiful animals. what are the first 3 digits of your phone number? --- how long is the song you're currently listening to? I’m not listening to music. have you ever bought anything on etsy? Yeah, a lot of things. do you prefer breakfast or dinner? Dinner. have you ever experienced a tornado? No. a hurricane? No. an earthquake? No. do you like sushi? Ew, nooo. are you registered to vote? I am. when did you last eat waffles? A couple days ago. do you wear glasses? Yes. do you like spicy food? I loved spicy food, but I can’t have it anymore. :( do you like your neighbors? I don’t know them. do you play 2048? No. what's your dream college? I already went and graduated from college. have you ever been to Africa? No. have you seen your favorite movie more than 5 times? I have many favorite movies and a lot of them I’ve seen countless times. what did you last post on facebook? I shared some meme thing.

do you use a mouse or a trackpad? Trackpad. what's your favorite word? *shrug*

what voice part are you? Huh?

how is your hair currently styled? In a messy bun. how much caffeine have you had today? Just coffee this morning so far. where do you typically do your grocery shopping? Walmart. do you know anyone who has a birthday soon? One of my cousins. when did you last receive mail? Recently. what was it? Bills, of course. are you sitting on a chair? Yeah. what did you last watch on youtube? An ASMR video. is your bedroom upstairs or downstairs? I live in a single story house. are you wearing any jewelry? No. do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Both are nice. have you ever seen Wicked? No. (if you have) what's your favorite song from it? -- what's your favorite game on your phone? I like to play murder mystery games sometimes. do you take surveys a lot? I’d say so. do you wear a watch? Nope. what was your biggest accomplishment of the day? Getting out of bed. did you ever have an American Girl doll? Nah. how about webkinz? No. have you ever seen the awesome fountain in the detroit airport? I’ve never been. ever thought you saw someone you know but it turned out to be a stranger? Ha, yeah. what web browser do you use? Chrome. are you wearing shorts? No. what do you wish you could do this summer? Beach vacays. have you ever skipped school? In college sometimes. has a song ever freaked you out cause the volume was up too loud? Yeah, I’ve jumped many times because of that. I’m so jumpy. do you have an ipad? No. is there anyone who you miss even though you don't know them very well? No. what's your favorite time period in history? I find various times in history interesting.  when's the last time you were in a church? It’s been five years since I’ve been in an actual church, but I’ve been attending the live streams to a local church for over a year now. how do you typically watch movies? Certain movies, like the ones I’m really into and excited about or just think looks really good, I like to go see in theaters for the first time. I also watch through some streaming service or on TV. besides money, what would you like a lifetime supply of? My favorite foods. do you like rain? I love it. do you shop at thrift stores? No. look behind you! what's there? My back pillow is right behind me. who did you last talk to outside the family? My doctor.

can you touch your tongue to your nose? No. what/who do you fangirl/boy over? Alexander Skarsgard. where does your dad work? A car repair shop. have you ever caught a fish? No. do you play candy crush? Nope. Never got into those games. flappy bird? No. do you have an ipod? Yeah, but it’s been stored away and unused since 2012. do you celebrate christmas? Yes. I love Christmas. how many songs do you know all the words to? Many. when did you last eat a donut? A few days ago. what's your favorite ride at the fair/amusement park? My favorite amusement park is Disneyland and I enjoy majority of the rides. what are 3 things you want to do before you die? Get my shit together, do something with my life, and travel. have you ever shopped on redbubble? Yes. what is on the walls of your bedroom? Some canvases and framed photos. what brand of toothpaste do you use? Sensodyne. what do you wear to bed? Clothes. do you eat seafood? Nopee. who do you admire? My mom. what color is your computer? Silver. do you do your own laundry? I need help with that, which my mom does. ever broken a bone? yes. what restaurant did you last go to? The last one I physically went to and ate at was Denny’s last year before the pandemic hit. I get takeout regularly, though, from various restaurants and fast food places. what do you spend most of your money on? Food. when did you last see your cousins? It’s been awhile. when's the last time you saw a rainbow? I don’t remember.  when's the last time you were on a boat? Years ago. what time do you usually get up? Between like 9 and 11 lately. do you like fluffy cats? Sure. what's your favorite time of year? Fall, Halloween, winter, and Christmastime. what's the most beautiful song you know? Hmm. what's your favorite stuffed animal? All my many, many giraffes and my two Baby Yoda plushies. what do you put in your ice cream sundae? Strawberry syrup. any plans for the weekend? No. is it sunny outside? No, it’s 11:40PM. have you read the hunger games? Yep, I read the series. can you speak Spanish? Very little. do you like enchiladas? Sure.

Facebook Posts July 2010 - December 2010

4th July 2010

The illusion that everybody's opinion matters has created a society in which stupidity must be considered just as seriously as brilliance. Gone are the days where stupid people weren't allowed to talk while big people were talking. Now they have their own facebook pages.... On the bright side, we no longer have to rely on television for entertainment

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10th July 2010

♫ Just gonna stand there and watch me burn....well that's alright because I like the way it hurts......Just gonna stand there and hear me cry....well that's alright because I love the way you lie...♫  - ‘Love the way you lie’, Rihanna ft. Eminem

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14th July 2010

If there's no such thing as no such thing, then there is such a thing as no such thing, which means that there really is no such thing as no such thing.

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15th July 2010

Bad?: So I was standing next to a fat girl and I turned to her and said "moo". At first she started to cuss and call me names and tell me about my mother. I quietly said "moo" again without lifting my gaze. This time she started screaming and clawing at me. For the last time...I said "moo". She stopped and looked at me, then after a minute of silence she said "father?"

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25th July 2010

You know you're doing something wrong when your fiancée tells you "I'd rather be his whore than your wife"... ♥ Titanic

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30th July 2010

You ever meet someone so dumb that you think they're up to something? "What?....no....what you playing at?....wait.....you're serious?"

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5th August 2010

The 1st tao of Jarid: {For all those in a relationship...the sentence "It doesn't matter anymore, I have a man, I'm gonna let loose" is not acceptable unless you're talking about a party or sex.}

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6th August 2010

I know I'm not the only person that finds irony in the fact that the guy that recently beat the JAMAICAN Bolt, is called Mr. Gay. lol "Gay shocks Bolt in Stockholm" is the Headline....So what did we learn? U can run from gays all u want my Jamaican brethren, but it'll catch up with you eventually...

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15th August 2010

Life is too short to waste on people who don't realize how awesome you are. I knew an awesome person who never followed the crowd or did what was 'expected'. She's gone now, but I can say she lived her life the way she wanted to, surrounded by people she liked who definitely liked her. When my time comes, I want someone to say the same about me. So fuck off and thank you.

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17th August 2010

Can someone explain to me how purposely doing something that makes your guy friends happy and like u, but at the same time leaves ur woman unhappy and unsatisfied, isn't gay? "Bow cat" it would seem is the opposite of "battyman"....not synonymous.

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20th August 2010

"Ur like a giant fucking cock blocking robot developed in a secret government lab or something" - Zombieland (lmao)

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21st August 2010

♫ That's alright, thats ok....g'on head believe what ur home girls say...a nigga like me drink alotta liquor, meet alotta bitches, take alotta pictures....I might break bread with 1 or 2 strippers, but that don't mean u gotta pull my zipper...thinkin that I dicked down the whole town, even tho I got dick to go round ♫ - ‘Smell yo dick’, Kay Luv

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22nd August 2010

♫ You say its my fault, ok then I'll go...its better to know...how theres nobody to argue with...cuz im not home...dont care who ur with....dont call my phone...or did u forget...u know you're wrong...I'm gone....and you're all alone....hearing your own damn...eh echo eh echo ♫ - ‘Echo’, Gorilla Zoe

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8th September 2010

♫ A penny for my thoughts, oh no I'll sell them for a dollar, They're worth so much more after I'm a goner, And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin', Funny when your dead how people start listenin'...If I die young ♫ - ‘If I die young’, The Band Perry

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10th September 2010

The tao of Jarid: "Facebook is not a place to publish things you wish to remain private. By its very nature, anything put on here voluntarily is for people to notice, see, and by extension comment or ask about. Getting defensive when asked about something YOU put up in the public domain makes no sense."

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11th September 2010

The tao of Jarid: "Women treat the male gene pool like a real pool. They all jump in and splash around the shallow end in their youth...then wade out to the deeper end as they get older."

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15th September 2010

“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar [violin] to a gorilla.” - Jim Bishop

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17th September 2010

Taxi driver on the way home today: "You see men? Especially young men like you? You need to eat raw foods. Lemme tell u the other night I was with my gf and no matter WHAT position I put her in...me deya fight fi cum! FIRST time me haffu TRY cum. All when me done, cocky stiff stiff"

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22nd September 2010

Birthdays on facebook are really opportunities for people that never speak to you to subtly say "I care! Don't delete me! Look how I wrote on ur wall!" lol

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23rd September 2010

The tao of Jarid: The lawyer most people know is the American lawyer. That's why lawyers have a bad name. Caribbean lawyers are nothing like their American counterparts (the laws and practices here are vastly different). People should remember that before they band all "lawyers" together.

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23rd September 2010

Listen, I understand that having a BB means that u can talk to anyone at anytime for free, but seriously...10 grown ppl sitting in a room engrossed in their phones not speaking to each other, is ridiculous. What happend to common courtesy, what happened to meeting new people and saying hi to a stranger? Sheesh. U remind me of little kids in church playing their gameboys.

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26th September 2010

U know what I hate? The fact that hypocrisy is so prevalent. Any time you see someone stand up and strongly take a stand against something...9/10 times they do it. If they vehemently denounce homosexuals, 9/10 times, they're sleeping with little boys. Its SO common now, that I never want to take a strong stand against anything, lest ppl think I secretly do it. Chupz.

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The tao of Jarid: For those of you who believe that "no means no, but unconscious means yes".....a prison cell awaits.

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28th September 2010

The legal way of saying “nigga stole my bike”:  “ A human being of the male gender wth black pigmentation on his skin appears 2 have acquired without my consent my 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, also known as "bike", and appears 2 have driven away with said 2-wheeled, non-motorized private and/or recreational transportation, despite my attempt of chasing the said human being, completely ignoring my request 2 give sed item bk” - username iani103. Man, I love my profession.

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1st October 2010

I think women should develop the same "fuck it" mechanism guys have. If there's a baby in the house crying for hours on end...what you will not find is a man around. Y? Cuz we can't fix it and its driving us crazy, so we roll out and go by Tony's house to watch football, i.e. fuk it. More women should do that instead of staying in the stress and snapping and shaking their babies to death or driving them into a river.

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The tao of Jarid: Facebook should have a 'WHO CARES?!?' button....and make my page immune to it.

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2nd October 2010

The tao of Jarid: The more "LMAO"s and "LOLOLOL"s your status contains, the less funny the actual subject matter is. Contrary to popular belief, nothing gets funnier the more you laugh at it by yourself.

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Grown men's fascination with penitentiary pussy confuses me... Sex with it = go to prison. What's the problem? Where's the option? All I see is "Sex with prison". No thanks. That's like the "option" 'get in this dark van so I can drive u to my abandoned cabin in the woods or I shoot you'. All I should be hearing is *gunshot*.

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4th October 2010

The tao of Jarid: Drama vampires are not cool. While the rest of us need food and water to live, these creatures survive solely off drama and other people viewing it. The only effective way to deal with them is to block and delete them from everything. If you can't see their drama, they weaken and die. True story.

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“I think when you put sex and spirituality in the same bottle and shake it up, bad things happen. Yes, I said I kissed a girl. But I didn’t say I kissed a girl while f-ing a crucifix.” - Katy Perry (on why she dislikes Lady Gaga’s music video for ‘Alejandro’) 

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5th October 2010

"This is my facade of civility; do not mistake for complacency, for once this veil is taken down, you'll see a vicious turn around...of all you grew to know and love...the hand lying beneath the glove.... An animal living in a shell. A beast who's come to raise all hell."

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6th October 2010

The tao of Jarid: Forget CNN, BBC or any other news organisation....nowhere else are world issues more discussed than on YouTube's comments section

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8th October 2010

You are one person, out of 7 billion people, on one planet, out of 8 planets, in one solar system out of a hundred billion solar systems, in one galaxy out of a hundred billion galaxies.......you are ENORMOUSLY insignificant, and don't let facebook ever make you forget that. [De-motivational Speech for the day]

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11th October 2010

Anybody remember when they FIRST came on fb YEARS ago? How it used to be? How Fb made hi5 look like the social networking ghetto? It was so clean and neat and classy. "Jarid Hewlett", likes, interests, lil about myself. Send ur friends who u havent seen since primary school messages. It was a magical innocent time. Why did you people have to rape facebook? Why?

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Now? as NC17 says, no more "Jarid Hewlett", we have "Jarid fuckspussyallday Hewlett", we have "What kind of telly tubby would u have sex with?" quizzes, we have people fighting over who their baby's daddy is for the world to see. (Btw when did this shit become acceptable? Not knowing which guy ejaculated inside and impregnated you is something people used to be ashamed of and settle in private...why is it cool to broadcast this now?), we have break ups where guys blatantly put their numbers under "X is no longer in a relationship"..... What happened to CLASS??? I understand they don't teach that in school, but they bloody well should. No one comes on fb to keep in touch with people anymore. And the ones that do, spend 20% of their total fb time doing that. The rest of us laugh or bow our heads in sadness at the ridiculous shit people post. I'm black and I hate racists and racism, but goddamn it....sometimes, as much as I hate to admit it.....I see where they're coming from. <sigh>

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15th October 2010

♫ We're going out tonight...to kick out every light, take anything we want, drink everything in sight, we're going till the world stops turning while we burn it to the ground tonight! ♫ - ‘Burn it to the ground’, Nickelback

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21st October 2010

The tao: Men get bitter, just as women do. The difference is, a bitter woman will say "fuck men" and never have sex again. A bitter man will say "fuck women" and do just that.

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26th October 2010

The tao: "All inclusive" does not mean "free cheap rum and vodka with juice". Stop the false advertising.

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27th October 2010

The tao: Having high standards doesn't necessarily exempt you from whoredom. While we all agree that having low to no standards makes one a ho, having high, meaningless standards makes one a ho too. "I only sleep with guys that drive BMWs" is a high standard. It is not a substantive standard.

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♫ And who do you think you are? Running round leaving scars....Collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart........You’re gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul.........So don’t come back for me, who do you think you are? ♫  - ‘Jar of Hearts’, Christina Perri

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28th October 2010

"Labour all de way"? "UPP all de way?".....come on, man. I'm "all the way" with whoever makes Antigua a better country. Politics has come to mean arbitrary following of a party that makes your immediate life better regardless of the long term. Don't even get me started on 'patriotism'.

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31st October 2010

The tao: He who is slow to anger gets annoyed the longest.

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1st November 2010

♫....you just hurt my goddamn feelings, and that was the last one I had ♫ - ‘Here we go’, Eminem

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2nd November 2010

Lawyer talk: My Lord, my client was not anywhere near the building when the window was broken, and if he was, he did not break the window, and if he did break the window, he did so by accident, and if he didn't break it by accident, it wasn't the complainant's window, and if it was their window, it was their fault for putting it where my client throws stones.

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8th November 2010

Mr. Kartel, you sir, have lied to me.....apparently women do not want a man whose "buddy long like a thousand match stick line up"....apparently that hurts and more than 90% of it will be outside anyway. You have misled me sir, and I demand an apology.

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10th November 2010

On a serious note.....which do you think is more "loving" and less "heartless"? (Option A) Being in a relationship and cheating gratuitously on your significant other? Or (Option B) breaking up with your significant other who probably didn't see it coming, because you want to sleep with someone else?

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11th November 2010

The tao: No one really sees anything. Everyone thinks they see something. I might think I see a pudgy, ugly woman, you might think you see a curvy goddess. Who knows whats actually there...The difference between sane and insane people is that insane people are just a little more creative with what they think they see....and nothing can change their mind.

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14th November 2010

The tao: If someone tells you something you don't understand, don't repeat it. It might have been wisdom when they told you...but after your brain is done with it, there's a high chance it comes back out as crap.

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15th November 2010

"You're Cuban AND Jamaican?? That's a really.....illegal mix, lol. So you speak Spanish and bloodclaat?" - Mike Yard (*dead*)

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17th November 2010

The tao: One should never let emotions get in the way of reality. Sometimes people just don't appreciate you no matter how you feel about them. That's ok. Someone does.

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19th November 2010

♫ Well I'm a poet to some, a regular modern day Shakespeare.....Jesus Christ, the King of these latter day saints here ♫ - ‘Renegade’, Jay-Z & Eminem

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25th November 2010

The tao: Whenever you think "don't let a good thing pass you by"....remember that many things are only good now BECAUSE you let them pass you by at first. Don't be afraid to let go.

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26th November 2010

"If my wanting to see you was on a scale of 1-10.....I'd still say no". It takes a while to fully appreciate just how horrible this statement is.

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27th November 2010

U know what I just realized..?..The first time I listened to the Marshall Mathers LP was on *cassette*...in my * Walkman*....that Michael Henry had copied for me.....I'm gonna reserve my rocking chair in the old folks home from now, see...

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The tao: Stop saying "I'm just me". Everyone is just them. If you choose to be someone who tries to be like other people, that's still who you are. You are just a personalityless ninny, but it's still who YOU are. You can't ever be anything else but you. "I'm just me" is like saying "I breathe oxygen". No shit.

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♫ Me start da day wit a flask, cranberry an ice inna glass....satellite can't find me me lost....buy me own liquor cuz me a me own boss....drink fi drunk dat me endorse....OH ♫ - ‘Rum & Red Bull’, Beenie Man &Future Fambo

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30th November 2010

Seriously....if I read one more comment under a political story with someone urging people to "wake up", I'm going to slap somebody. I always find it fascinating that politics turns otherwise sensible people into jackasses. "Belief is the enemy of reality".

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Lesbians have life so easy.....girls are very gay normally, lol. Dressing in front of each other, dancing up with one another, feeling up one another etc.....you could pretty much spend ur whole life being a lesbian and no one would ever know once u lie every now and again about some boy u find hot.

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"The fact is governments deal with the United States because it's in their interest, not because they like us, not because they trust us and not because they think we can keep secrets," - US Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. If that's not gangsta, I dunno what is...

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2nd December 2010

♫ I love my life....none a we don't know wey tomorrow might bring cuz the future deh hours away...so me go live my life today...me ah live my life today...so lowe me mek me talk what me want fi talk, me have nuff fi say...so me go live my life today...me ah go live my life today ♫ - ‘I love my life’, Demarco

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7th December 2010

The tao: Never overestimate the power of friendship.

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9th December 2010

♫ De boy ketch me a stamp up him gyal postcard....want arrest me but....him anna sarge....he nah stop tell me how him a camouflage....never voice ya hear from him vocal cord because.....a we mek nuff man start drink Guinness ♫ - ‘A we’, Hawkeye

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11th December 2010

The tao: The next time someone you thought you mattered to lets you down, always remember that its not their fault you don't have better friends.

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17th December 2010

Men beware: "Your mouth says no, but your eyes say yes" will never ever stand up in court.

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19th December 2010

The tao: Stop bitching about the 'true meaning' of Christmas. People like presents. Deal with it.

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21st December 2010

The tao: Put on a jamaican accent and include "bloodclaat" or "bumboclaat" and any sentence becomes five times funnier. E.g. "Where are u going, u unhygienic homosexual?" "Yow, a where dis dutty skin, yellow teet, shitty draws BUMBOCLAAT battybwoy a go?" Same message. Five times funnier.

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25th December 2010

The tao: "I have a boyfriend".........."Babes....you can have ALL the boyfriends you want...not "a", not "some".....ALL.....me still want u". - This conversation will always go like this. Saying you have a boyfriend is not a substitute for saying no.

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30th December 2010

New year new me! "Are u getting a sex change?" What? no..... "Are you changing careers?" Um..no.. "Are you radically overhauling your entire personality?" Not really... "Shut up and sit down"

ROAD TRIP ( 3rd Jan-29th Jan)

Since we brought the van it's a struggle to keep the phones charged never mind find wifi! I've been keeping little notes on my phone if what we've been up too so that we don't forget in a few years time... BLOG 3rd January- Abbie gone :( we brought a van! Battered and bruised with a cracked window screen but we had a little test drive and all seemed fine so we took the risk - spent the next couple of days after that doing admin! We had to get the van kitted out and open a bank account to be able to get the car registered Bla Bla .... few hiccups along the way including a little scare at the registration office where we were led to believe we had actually brought a stolen car.... But turned out the paper work was just wrong and it was all fine. We had our last night at the hostel on the 4th - and in the 5th morning went to move into our new home - only to find the battery was dead - great start. Some lovely guy jumped us and we spent the rest of the day cleaning the van and buying a few more bits - drove back to the blue mountains. Parked up in a free campsite and crashed! Slept like babies too - Blow up mattress worked a treat :) 6th Jan = Worst day ever Battery was dead again in the morning- got jumped again. Went to a garage to get it checked out and they couldn't work it out and sent us to another garage. He couldn't work it out ether ... Said there was nothing wrong with the battery. Next thing the engine overheated - there was no water in the radiator ( life lesson ) managed to get it filled up which was really messy with the engine so hot! ... Drove a few miles down the road back to the electrical mechanic who fixed the cigarette lighter and a few miles down the road after that the engine is over heating again. It's nearly half 5pm on a Friday at this point ... So we rang the garage again ... And he was about to tell us he couldn't see us till next Wednesday until he must have recognised our accents ..and asked if we were the English couple from this morning with the van. Told us he thought the battery dying in the morning and the engine over heating were linked and to bring the car down straight away. Another scare ..... Told us he thought it was the engine that had gone! But turned out it was just the hose that had disintegrated and he fixed it all for free. Said he wasn't going to charge two young people on their holidays... Amazed by the people out here once again <3 that night we brought a bottle of wine and met some fab Irish people travelling the opposite way down the coast . Had a right giggle with them and got some great tips so great end to a horrific day! 7th- Jan Got the van started without Jump leads woop! Did an amazing walk through wentworth falls. Really tough walk which we loved and I got to swim in my first waterfall pool :) we climbed up the rocks and stood right beneath it - started a trend and everyone started copying so funny. Parked up by a lake that night in a massive field - hot showers and everything for free:) I got behind the wheel for the first time in 3 years and had my first driving lesson round the sites- went well ! 8th - Jan- drove an hour down a steep clifftop to a place called nunes where we had planned to see some glow worms in a cave. Turned out you had to park up and do an hour and a half traverse to get there and it was just far to too hot so we had a swim in he river down there and I drove back. Oli took over when we hit the main road and we went to dunns swap national park camp site. Beautiful campsite it reminded me off the one in America at the end of parent trap. We had about 2 litres of water left which is nothing and asked someone where the water tap was and they laughed and pointed at the river! Rationed the water enough so we could stay the night and do a walk in the morning ( amazing ) and we had a swim in the river to cool down before we drive back. I had another practice but couldn't get quick enough to do the main roads so we swapped again! So nervy on the road after the crash. This was just a really HOT day in the van - lots of miles and 38degrees so just too hot to even function. We ended up in a town called Bulga poured water over ourselves to try and cool down , and had our first sweaty horrible night in the van we just couldn't cool it down. Everytime we trying to open it up for breeze we got swarmed my mozzies! 11th HOT day again - but we learnt from our mistakes the day before - got up early and drive to Newcastle and hid out in an air conned shopping centre all day getting some shopping bits done. Went to the tuck wells for dinner - the couple that we met in Bali and had a lovely evening with them. Met their kids and their bfs/ gfs- they had food ready and we ended up getting quite tipsy! Tania kept feeding me champagne and rum! 12th- has a great night sleep in the lovely cool house because they refused to let us sleep in the van . They gave us towels and a key and even had two bikes left out for us on the drive. Amazing people treated us like family. We took the bikes and got the ferry over to Newcastle. Cycles the 10k coastline ( which was really hilly) jumped in the Bogey Hole which is an ocean pool on the side of a cliff - awesome and freezing! We thought Newcastle reminded us of a British coast - maybe even Newcastle at home. We had some chips on the beach and realised that we'd both been fried! So went back for a swim. We made home made burgers on the bbq and ended up having more drinks with tania and Paul that night. Next day we got up and went to a nature reserve - wasn't what we expected ( more like a zoo) so we didn't stay very long but got to see our first koala. Went back to the house for lunch and another swim and then packed up and got on the road again. We couldn't believe how generous they were they gave us a cooler , packed it with ice, beers, washing powder, sun shields , coolant- they just couldn't do enough for us so sweet. We only managed an hour up the road because it was so hot again - still 38 degrees at 6pm at night! Our air con doesn't work at that temperature feels like a hair dryer is blowing in your face! Found a really cute campsite and went for a swim in the bay to cool down before dinner. 14th HOT SWEATY night again- impossible to sleep. Ol got up for sunrise ( I just opened the van up and watched from bed too early for me) another long day driving - I did my first proper stint which felt good. Had a quick swim in the sea half way (seal rocks) and it starred to pour just before we got to port Macquarie but we're glad to have a break from the heat - the van had finally cooled down woohoo. Amazing sunset after it rained all day at Lake Campsie. Camped on the side of a lake - brought some chocolate and watched a film. Next day we walked the 10k walk along the coast of Port Mac - gorgeous walk and not too hot. Got the bus back went to the shop and brought some chicken to bbq and some beers- camped in the same spot. Next day - we did the national park - sea acres board walk. Had a lovely guide (graham, leave a review?) telling us all about the rainforest was great. Drove half way to Coffs Harbour and camped out early - gorgeous campsite near a river. Rice and eggs for tea. Dorrigo National park - wonga walk the next day . Amazing - followed by wine tasting and pasta for tea. Same campsite. Next morning we got up and drive to Coffs Harbour - had a swim in the sea when we got here -went to the big bananas - lunch on the beach - mutton bird island walk at sunset - coffee and then drove half way to Byron bay. drove late because it was cooler - nightmare getting there in the dark though. Boiling hot , loads of mozzies - neither of us could sleep! Ended jog erring our the van and pouring water over ourselves in the middle of the night! 19th - got up and drove to balina- half way to Bryron bay - had a coffee - drove into the centre had a pootle around ( cool place ) brought a bikini- parked up in a car park about 25 mins out for free ( faffy day) 20th Hired boards went surfing- chilled on the beach- back to the free car park - I made pasta in a thunderstorm 21st- rain - miserable day - Oli got his hair cut 22nd- booked all our trips for the eat coast with travel bug - Frazer island -Whitt Sunday's - skydive and Everglade canoe and sea kayak with dolphins! Walked to the most easterly point of aus and did the national park walk alone the rainforest beach - tallow beach - found a little surf paradise spot at the far end of byron bay beach - beans and eggs and avo for tea 23rd gorgeous day - got up at 4.50 pm for sunrise - amazing - drive out of town to have brekfast and camd back in for our sea kayak with dolphins at 9 but missed it because our travel agent gave us the wrong time! They booked us into the afternoon one instead so we just chilled in the beach and went to a nice restaurant called dip for lunch. Sea kayak in the afternoon was cool - saw lots of turtles but no dolphins so they Said we could go again for free u till we did . Popped to the library to seal some charge and had a early night. 24th - surfing fail - too windy - then walked tallow beach - gorgeous - met some car park friends 25th - went sea kayaking again- didn't sea anything - went swimming at Brunswick in the afternoon - then we picked up a long board - had a lovely dinner by the river and the camped - illegally in the national park ready to get up at 3 am to hike to the top of the volcano for sunrise. 26th - woke up 3 am - hiked to the top of a volcano - awesome. - went swimming in a river - changed time zones and long boarded the surfers paradise board walk - shopping - found an awesome little camp site just outside the city - paid 25 dollars between us but so worth it. Hot shower / power / kitchen - lush 27th - rained all day but went to the library and sorted loads of jobs out - admin day - booked a couple of trips/ fixed the car - low on transmission fluid / sent a load of postcard / sorted out money - student loan ect - went to springbrook national park in the evening to see the glow worms - cool . Amazing drive- went past a vast river with loads of dead trees in it - so cool - hairy drive back nearly ran out of petrol / car skidded in the rain and there were tons of dead frogs all over the road. 28th Washing day ! Sorted pictures - drove to Brisbane. 29th Day drip into Brisbane city centre. Nice enough city but we weren't blown away. Thank god it was Sunday because parking would have been $80 a day otherwise. Luckily it was only $17 for us. We did the south bank walk which was cool - very sexy skyline. They have a man made pool and beach looking at the skyline too - cool to see but moved on swiftly. Found a really gorgeous campground and met a lovely German lad that night.