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averykedavra · 3 years

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i wish that older fandom members, especially “fandom moms,” would act less attacked when minors express uncomfortable feelings abt them. like, yeah, older ppl are allowed to have hobbies and nobody should criticize them, but when you’re an adult (i’m talking post-college) you automatically have a power imbalance with any kid that interacts with you.

and that’s not inherently bad, but it’s not something that u can dismiss just like that. especially when that power has been used and abused tons and tons of times. not to say kids and teenagers can’t do stupid, hurtful shit either. but there’s a specific brand of harm that can be done by an older person who thinks they’re in the right.

i guess i’m saying that kids are allowed to be wary of u. they’re allowed to crack jokes abt “fandom moms” being so old, so out of touch. they’re allowed not to interact with you. it’s not cool to make fun of anyone’s interests, old or not. but i’ve always seen this underlying fear in some of those jokes. get out of here, some are saying. i’m scared of you.

everyone has different boundaries and experiences. there’s no right or wrong way to interact with minors or adults. there’s definitely nothing wrong with being an adult fan. but pls be aware of the power dynamic. pls be aware that many ppl in your position have hurt kids, and that kids--reasonably--don’t want to be hurt again.

when we say “fandom moms are so weird” it’s not a personal attack. when we mock adults with hogwarts houses in their bios, it’s not a personal attack. and when people call out the pattern of older fans being racist/ableist/antisemitic/cult-y, it’s not about you. yes, you might not be any of those things. and it might hurt to feel compared to them.

and yes. anyone is allowed to be a fan. no one should be ousted from a fan space unless they do harm. age doesn’t stop u from enjoying things. but fandom is not a place insulated from the real world. it echoes it. fandom is not always a safe space.

not all adults are bad. not all adults are creepy. but adults are adults, and kids are allowed to see u and step away. they’re allowed to set boundaries. and they’re allowed to crack jokes abt their experiences.

just move on. find ppl who are comfortable around u. and hold other adult fans accountable, because the thing u can do with ur power is use it for good.

#delete later #ugh idk if i even phrased this right #all i'm trying to say is i wish older fans would stop feeling so victimized #when younger fans feel uncomfortable/make jokes abt them #It Is Not About You #Pls #fandom problems #dkjhegfhjks definitely delete later now that i think abt it #anyone can reblog with additions or clarifications #including adults!#and btw like what i mean by Adult isn't like a 19yrold college student #but grown ppl #they're the backbone of fandom in some ways #but they're also sometimes the source of problems #and Yeah i don't even know #free to rb #long post #avery's argot

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