Au where adult Danny somehow scores a friends with benefits situation with Red Hood, but without the friends part (idk what its called.)

After a few months with no contact he assumes thier relationship-whatever it was- is over. After the fourth month he starts acting strange. He's turning whole buildings in Amity intangible to get years of accumulated grime off of them, he's deep cleaned his entire underground house and lab twice, he's even flooded the cave like floors with ectoplasm all on some strange compulsion. He really couldn't control himself. His friends suggested he might be trying to instinctively seduce RH or something by making his "territory" nicer

Danny bought into this theory up until a fight with the Box Ghost. Well, less of a fight and more of Danny chasing him and threatening him with soup time. It was when Dannys speed started flagging and Danny complaining about his lack of stamina lately that BG paused and excitedly announced, "OH ancients, you're pregnant! That's so great!" In front of everyone. People below that were watching the fight gasped or started texting or whatever. He knew at least one person was filming this. They always recorded his fights.

Phantom just floated there stunned as the ghost prattled on about how he and the Lunch Lady have been trying for a while (ew?!?!) but ghosts were naturally infertile so it was hard. Danny stopped listening and was having a panic attack while in mid air. How did this happen?! He was a guy! How long ago-? The only person he slept with was Red Hood! Oh ancients! His child's other parent was a crime lord that delivered a bag with actual severed heads to someone. He and Hood don't even know each other! Not really. They never met outside RH texting him for a night of fun. Thats all it was! All he really knew about him was that he was an undead antihero who was nice to children and was a widely feared crime lord and was involved in the drug trade. Crap.

Phantom whipped out his burner phone that he used almost exclusively for RH and blasted it apart, startling Boxy out of his rambling. RH didn't know about Phantom or about Danny. He didn't give him his real name and even if he did it wouldn't have mattered because he's not from that dimension anyway. RH never had to find out about this.

Too bad Danny is the unluckiest person (half)alive.