The next few years fly by. Daniel starts school, and with two workaholic parents, he becomes especially close to his grandfather.
Grandpa Don always has time to help with homework, although Daniel is a smart kid and barely needs help.
Don is also good for a hug and a confidence boost if the other kids are mean. Most of the other kids at school have gotten used to the way Daniel looks by now, but it was a tough start.
Eric has started walking, and to Zane’s utter delight, he has inherited both his red hair and green eyes, although Don jokes that the green eyes are his, and just skipped a generation.
Don is always ready with milk and a cookie after school so the boys have someone to spend time with, even if their parents are rarely home until dinner time.
“Easy there, Daniel. I’m not as strong as I once was.”
“But you were the strongest in the whole world!”
“Come on, Eric, get into bed. We can read or we can dance, but we can’t do both. Look at Daniel, he’s already in bed.”
“Boof! Boof boof!”
“No, no dog book, it’s the dino book today. We read the dog book yesterday. And the day before.”
“Boof…”
And so the boys sleep, blissfully unaware of what is about to happen.
In the early morning hours, Don stumbles out of bed. She was there, in his dream, kissing him the way she used to do, taking his breath away. He can still feel her lips on his.
“Alex”, he whispers breathlessly as he collapses on the floor.
And then he’s gone.
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Insurrection - Part 2
While my parents were obviously very upset at the time, my brother was excited and wanted to go. The strangers, his uncle and grandmother, would take him with them when they returned to Sixam. Until then, my mother would teach them about her new technology.
The next few days, before they left, the rest of us tried to spend as much time with my brother as possible.
I admit that I was angry with him at first. I felt that he was abandoning me. Who was now going to help me with homework and make me laugh when I had a rough day at school?
Luckily, we managed to make up before he left. And I could see why he wanted to go – it was both an obligation and an adventure to him.
My father also had a heart-to-heart with my brother, the last night before he left for Sixam. It was a warm night and I could hear them outside my open window.
I know my father and brother both consider themselves true father and son, despite my brother’s origins. I hope spending time with his biological father on Sixam hasn’t changed that.
When the Sixams left, my dear brother left with them. I knew that it could take years before he would be able to travel back and visit us, especially if the wormhole technology never worked.
Trying to overcome the sadness of my brother leaving, my mother threw herself into her work. Sometimes I would barely see her for days, because she would stay late at the lab every day.
We now know that it was worth it, that she finally managed to secure a communication link, so we can get updates from my brother every few months, but she still hasn’t succeeded in establishing travel, and my brother is too busy to leave Sixam for a year or two just to visit.
My father tried to compensate for my mother’s constant working by spending more time with me.
But my father’s job was also very demanding, and I often spent my afternoons alone.
Most days, I only had Maggie for company.
But she was more than enough.
It’s not that I didn’t have friends, I had good friends at school, but I couldn’t exactly schedule playdates every single day.
One day, when I was alone at the playground, I saw a stray cat. She was limping and very dirty, and would not let me get near her, but I wanted to help her.
I spent the entire day trying to befriend her, and she finally let me pick her up so we could take her to the vet.
The cat had no chip or ear tattoo, and when no one came forward to claim her, my parents decided that I could keep her. I named her Winky.
Seeing how the veterinarian expertly diagnosed her problems and treated her while being kind and respectful made me realise that this is what I want to do with my life as well.
My parents tell me that I would play vet constantly, and bring home any animal I found. I was allowed to keep smaller birds and a couple of mice while nursing them back to health, but my parents helped me take any stray cats and dogs to the shelter, or I would have had an entire zoo.
A few years later, one of our neighbours had to move into a retirement home, and had to find a new home for her old dog, Milo. I had often been walking him for her, and she wanted me to have him. This time, my parents did not object.
Animals are what keeps me going, my reason to be courageous, kind, and disciplined. These are the qualities I will bring to Foxbury.
Thank youoooo99999ggggrrrrr;;;;;;;;33333333333
“Winky, seriously? Thanks for helping, but this is a very important letter.”
Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope this essay gives you a better idea of the passion I bring to everything I do, and that I will bring to the field of veterinary medicine.
I look forward to speaking with you again in the future – hopefully as a student at your esteemed institution.
Sincerely,
Eric Fyres-Munch Duchelli
Asphalt Abode
Newcrest
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Chapter 19
Insurrection - Part 1
Re: Application letter to Foxbury – Biology with elective in Veterinary Science
Dear Dr. Gilscarbo, PhD.
It is with great pleasure that I submit my application for the distinguished degree in Biology at Foxbury University.
At present, I am finishing my studies at Newcrest High, and I have already secured several scholarships. My dream is to become a veterinarian and open my very own vet clinic. I feel that this would be the best way to combine my love for animals and my need to do good.
As you may be aware, my mother and father also both attended Foxbury in their youth. My mother went on to become a great astrophysicist, responsible for recently reestablishing direct contact with our neighbours on Sixam.
My father became a renowned lawyer. It is my firm belief that attending Foxbury will also put me on the path to greatness.
For this essay, I have chosen to illustrate how animals have made a great difference in my life. I do not believe that I would be who I am today without my beloved childhood dog, Maggie, and the other pets in my life.
To understand what Maggie meant to me, let me first take you back to my early childhood. When my grandfather died, my entire family was understandably distraught, and my parents decided to adopt a young pitbull from a shelter. The dog immediately sensed that I, a toddler at the time, needed her protection, and she was always by my side.
Maggie and I grew up together, and she became my trusty companion, sleeping next to my bed every night, and waiting for me when I came home from school.
She was also by my side on the night that changed both my life and Sixam relations forever.
I had gone to bed while my older brother was out with some friends, but I wasn’t asleep yet when I heard him come home. I also heard unfamiliar voices and my mother’s excited screams of disbelief.
I climbed out of bed, and went out in the hall, where I saw my parents and my brother – with two people I didn’t yet know.
Of course, my mother had told me about her adventures on Sixam, but this was their first visit back in over a decade.
After a brief introduction, my father tried to put me back to bed, but I couldn’t sleep.
I was scared because I knew that these people, who looked like my brother, could only have come to take him away.
My father tried to explain everything to me. He and my mother had been anticipating this for years.
He told me that Daniel’s biological father on Sixam was very ill and never had any other children.
It was important for my brother to go to Sixam and learn whatever he could while his father still lived, so he could take over his seat on the council.
As the first hybrid in a position of power at Sixam, my parents were worried for his safety, but his uncle, Tomnu, promised to keep him safe.
My mother, who had recently made the first breakthroughs in wormhole technology, suggested that she could go with them, to set up matching technology on Sixam, so direct communication, and perhaps later even travel, might become possible.
My father immediately asked to talk to her in private. He would not allow her to leave, and this was the first time I ever heard my parents have a serious fight.
I heard their loud voices through the wall, my father arguing that my mother couldn’t leave us, that he couldn’t lose her, and my mother crying, afraid to let her oldest son go alone. Again, Maggie comforted me.
I am happy that my mother decided to stay, and instead teach the Sixams as much as possible, so that they could set up the other portal on Sixam. If she had left, she might not have come back. My brother still has not.
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“… it was really funny when Eric asked my father why he was always so grumpy, though.”
“Yeah, poor Wolfgang did not like that. Eric’s getting sassy. Before we know it, he starts school and then we blink and he’s getting married.”
“Cora, you’re doing it again. He’s only three years old. Relax.”
“Sorry, honey. I don’t know why I’m so worried. It just feels like the last few years flew by so quickly.”
“Cora! Are you saying I’m boring and forgettable?”
“No, you’re a huge dork.”
“Well, you’re a huge nerd!”
“Oh yeah? Would a nerd do this?”
“Mmmmguess not.”
“Stop worrying so much, Cora. We have all the time in the world.”
“I hope you’re right, honey.”
“Everything will be fine, my love.”
“So then I told her what the teacher said, and then -“
“Boys, there are three bathrooms in this house. Do you really have to wait for this one?”
“But, dad, the others are all the way upstairs!”
“The horror. Hurry up, or you’ll be late for school.”
“Yes, dad. Anyways, then she said…”
Daniel has grown into a charismatic young man, who has somehow managed to make being smart a cool thing in his school.
At first glance, Eric is growing up to look very similar to his father, but on closer inspection he does have mainly Cora’s features. The nose, however, is clearly Zane’s.
Daniel, always the popular guy, often hangs out with his friends after school, and tonight is no different.
The close-knit group of friends from school consists of three guys and three girls and they often go out for coffee and hot chocolate.
The beefcake is Colten, a self-assured guy with a tendency to brag. He and Daniel are best friends and work out together. Behind him is the equally blonde Lydia, who just so happens to be the daughter of Cora’s colleague Elsa. Lydia refuses to talk about her mother after she left to live with Payton, though.
There’s also Deon, the closeted environmentalist, and Maliyah, who spends most of her time sending Deon longing looks while pretending she’s not interested at all.
Finally, there’s Kailani. She’s very cool and confident, and would be the obvious leader of the group if it wasn’t for Daniel’s magnetic personality.
Daniel and Kailani always joke around in a somewhat flirty way, but both insist there’s nothing between them.
Especially when Lydia is around, because she has a huge crush on Daniel, which is very much a secret, and so of course everyone knows.
The evening is winding down, and the teenagers are debating whether to go home or stay a little longer.
Suddenly, Daniel gets up and stares across the café, looking confused.
“Hey, Danny? What’s up, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”
“Danny? Are you OK?”
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Chapter 17
All Good Things…
Luckily for Cora and Zane, the very first IVF treatment is a success.
Zane is thrilled with the news, scoops Cora into his arms and swings her around the kitchen when he comes home from work, almost knocking over the fruit bowl.
“This is it, honey. There’s no backing out – or changing your mind again.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Cora. But I have been thinking about something…”
He gently puts her down.
“So, since you got to name Daniel on your own, it’s my turn this time, right? So I say Sue if it’s a girl and Lou Paul if it’s a boy.”
“Wait, like loophole? I love you honey, but I will literally kill you if you name our child a lawyer pun.”
“Understandable. We’ll workshop it some more. What about Misty Meanor?”
“Guess what, Daniel! You’re going to be a big brother! And you have no idea what that means, do you?”
“Bowwah!”
“Yeah, I thought so.”
“Good morning, my lean, mean, baby-making machine.”
“First of all, good morning. Second of all, ew.”
“Yeah, that didn’t sound right. Sorry, honey.”
“Just kiss me and get to work, you big dork.”
Meanwhile, Daniel is oblivious to the fact that in 6 months he’ll have to share his family (and his room) with someone else.
“Goodbye son, take care of your mom while I’m at work.”
“Zane…”
“Shhhh, honey, I can’t hear if he responds.”
“Zane!”
“Zane, have I ever told you that you’re a huge dork?”
“Often, my love. See you tonight.”
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At the lab, the rocket project has been abandoned. There are certain physical limits to the speed of a rocket, and Cora is investigating other options.
“Hey, honey, it’s me. Yeah, I need to stay late. Yes, again. I know, I’m sorry… I promise it’ll be the last time this week. Love you too. Kiss the boys goodnight for me.”
Several of Cora’s colleagues have joined her new project. They all want to help, not just because they care about Cora, but because it’ll be a huge technological breakthrough if they succeed.
Cora is working like a maniac, staying late at least every other day. Her colleagues are getting a little worried about her.
“Payton and I are leaving now, Cora. You’re the last one left.”
“Thanks, Elsa. Have a good night.”
“You too. Remember to go home, Cora.”
“I will.”
“Just… not yet. I need to finish this.”
At home, poor Zane falls asleep on the couch while waiting for Cora to come home. Caring for both of their sons and a dog while trying to become partner at the law firm is exhausting. And he needs the sleep, because tomorrow is a big day.
Grandma Morgan and grandpa Wolfgang are the first to arrive for Eric’s birthday, followed shortly by aunt Isabelle and her husband Conor.
Isabelle is pregnant with their second child. Their first son, Caiphus, was born less than a year after Cora and Zane’s wedding. Luckily, Conor’s parents has agreed to babysit him for the day.
“Anyway, Caiphus got such a unique name that I’m not sure we can do it again. Conor likes the name Jordon, but I’m not sure it’s really special enough for my taste.”
Morgan is extremely proud of her son and his little family. But then again, Zane was always the more responsible of her children.
Isabelle is happy for her brother, if slightly jealous of his obvious happiness. Her marriage with Conor is fine, but she might have preferred someone a bit more… exciting, if he hadn’t gotten her pregnant shortly after Cora and Zane’s wedding.
Wolfgang, of course, is mostly preoccupied with complaining about the dog.
Brie and Shawn has also left their kids, Jaxen and Alyson, at home. They claim it’s just for the convenience, but Zane suspects that they’re a bit worried about the dog.
“Happy birthday, Eric! Can you blow out the candles? Okay, let mommy help.”
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Chapter 18
First Contact
The death of Don was a hard blow for the family. The house feels empty and quiet without his broad shoulders and booming laugh.
Daniel in particular is struggling. Grandpa Don was his best friend.
Daniel was allowed to choose whether to stay in his old bedroom or move into Don’s room, and he chose Don’s. Zane often finds his oldest son crying under the covers when he comes to tuck him in at night.
Zane is also grieving, he was very close to his father-in-law, and his heart hurts for his family.
Eric is too young to fully understand, so he just cries and asks for his grandpa.
One night, after tucking in the boys, Zane finds Cora crying quietly in the living room.
“You okay, honey?”
Cora wipes her tears away.
“Yeah, it’s just… Everything.”
“I miss him too, Cora.”
“It’s not just dad. It’s… I feel old. And like I’m running out of time. I need to find a way to get to Sixam, and we’re not getting any younger. By the time Eric goes to university, we’ll be close to retirement.”
“Honey, we’re not that ancient. And you’re making progress at work, right? I don’t understand half of it, but even I have heard of wormholes. And if you can’t solve it, no one can.”
“Sorry, honey, I know I’m being too pessimistic. It’s just hard dealing with my own feelings and trying to cheer up the kids… I don’t know, maybe we should get that dog they keep begging for.”
“Another brilliant idea from my brilliant wife. We’ll go check out the local animal shelters tomorrow. Now come to bed.”
“DAD, IS THAT A DOG? Is that the surprise? Can we keep it?”
“That’s the plan, buddy! This is Maggie, she’s going to live with us now!”
“Doggie?”
“Yes, Eric. She’s our dog now.”
“Doggie!”
“And she’s a good doggie, Eric! Look, she can shake! The rest we will have to teach her.”
“Can I help teach her, dad? This is the best day ever!”
Maggie quickly becomes a beloved part of the family and Eric in particular is very attached to her.
Maggie seems to understand that he’s just a toddler and she is very gentle and patient with him. He is allowed to do anything to her, and she usually stays close and protects him.
She is also happy to watch a movie with Daniel, especially because he allows her to get on the couch.
Zane starts running again, something that he had stopped doing without Don, and takes Maggie out every morning – even when it rains.
Cora prefers evening runs. Maggie is just happy to be included.
Everyone is happier than they have been for a long time, and the wounds left behind by Don’s death are slowly healing.
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Chapter 15
The Perfect Mate
A few weeks after her return, Cora goes into labour.
The family welcomes little Daniel. Everyone but Cora is slightly surprised about the way he looks – despite being warned. But they get used to it quickly.
Alex, who has (supposedly) retired from her life of crime, has embraced being a full-time grandmother, and spends her evenings knitting stuff for baby Daniel and for Brie’s son Jaxen.
Grandpa Don is ecstatic about having a baby in the house again, and dotes on little Daniel.
Aunt Brie stops by to meet Daniel as well, and announces that her and Shawn are already considering a second child.
Zane also comes to meet the new family member. Alex shoots Don a meaningful look when he sits back down after letting a slightly flustered Zane in.
“Nice young man, that Zane. And handsome.”
“Zane… I don’t want you to be too shocked, but… he looks a bit special – like his father.”
Zane looks a the little blue baby, unsure of what to do or say. He was never good with children, always felt uncomfortable around them. But this is Cora’s child. What is he so afraid of?
“Do you want to hold him?”
“I… uh, better not. I don’t want to drop him”, Zane mumbles. Cora can’t quite read the emotion in his face. Shortly after he excuses himself with an important case he needs to work on and leaves.
With Don and Alex at home, it doesn’t take long for Cora to return to work. Luckily, her old job is excited to have her back, and she is excited to share everything she learned from the Sixams.
Of course, things are slightly awkward in the beginning, as not everyone quite believes her story, but it’s hard to argue with the results that her new knowledge provides.
Cora also gets updated on the office drama. Her colleague Elsa thought she was too old to have more kids, but suddenly found herself pregnant and gave birth to a little girl – with black hair. Her very blonde husband Lucas was not impressed. A paternity test and two divorces later, Elsa and Cora’s supervisor Payton now live in a San Myshuno apartment with their baby daughter.
A few weeks later Zane drops by again, and this time Cora convinces him to hold the baby.
“Hi Daniel… Cora, are you sure? He’s so small… What if I hurt him somehow?”
Cora laughs.
“You won’t hurt him. Because if you do, I’ll have to sue you, and I promise to use your competitor.”
“I told you, I don’t do that kind of law, Cora.” Zane smiles as he gingerly picks up the baby.
Zane looks into Daniel’s dark eyes, so unlike Cora’s and yet so similar, and is struck by an entirely new feeling. As he marvels at the little fingers trying to grab his tie, Zane feels a sense of protectiveness wash over him, like he would do anything for this child. Cora’s child.
“See, I told you it would be fine!” Cora says, and Zane snaps back to reality.
“Yeah… fine.” Zane puts Daniel down gently, surprised at how empty his arms suddenly feel.
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“Zane, your phone is going off like crazy, you better get going.”
“Work can wait, I just don’t like leaving you today. Are you sure everything will be fine?”
“Honey, babies aren’t born exactly on their due date. It’s more of a guideline.”
“I still don’t like it.”
“Hey, I’ve tried this before. There are no signs of your son wanting to come out today. And if he does, I’ll call you.”
“Alright. I love you.”
“Hey Zane. Sorry to disturb your probably very important meeting, but you should come home.”
“Yes, right now. And I wouldn’t say ‘I told you so’ to her if I were you.”
And so little Eric arrives, thankfully with no lawyer puns in his name.
Zane is just as immediately and intensely in love with his son as he hoped.
As much as he loves Daniel, this is still different. Zane is particularly excited about the faint red wisps of hair on Eric’s head.
“Daniel! Come on, buddy, I’ve got someone you need to meet!”
“Promise daddy that you’ll help take care of your brother, alright?”
Luckily, Daniel is excited about the baby, and not too jealous. Although he is slightly disappointed that Eric can’t play with him yet.
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“Our little baby girl got married today, babe. You should have seen her. Beautiful. Zane is a good man, you were right about them. He’ll make her happy.”
“Daniel is such a great kid. So smart too, just like Cora. And Brie is expecting your third grandchild. Third! You can be proud, babe. Your family is doing well. And I… I still miss you every single day.”
The old house in Willow Creek is too small and too full of memories of Alex, so Don agrees to move to Newcrest with Cora and Zane. Zane has also sold his apartment in San Myshuno.
Cora is working late tonight, but Zane appreciates the extra bonding time with Daniel.
When it’s time for bed, Daniel insists on having grandpa Don read him a story.
Grandpa Don always does the best voices.
A few weeks later, Don is up late, enjoying the silence, and a cup of tea in his “world best grandpa” mug.
His thoughts are disturbed by the sound of footsteps on the stairs, and Zane appears.
“You still up? Mind if I join?”
“Sure, go ahead. Can’t sleep?”
“No, I’ve been tossing and turning for over an hour. I guess I’m a bit nervous about tomorrow.”
“What’s the succes rate for each IVF treatment? Something like 50%, right?”
“Something like that. And I shouldn’t be nervous, Cora is the one having the procedure. And we won’t even know if it has worked for weeks. It just feels… big, you know?”
“Zane, it’s understandable that you’re nervous. You never expected to have kids, right? And I know you love Daniel, but this will still be different.”
“How did you do it, Don? It wasn’t until Cora told me that I even realised that Brielle wasn’t your daughter. To me, you always seemed to be her dad. I don’t want Daniel to feel left out when we have another baby.”
“You’ll do fine. Honestly, what I did was simply deciding that Brie was my daughter. Sure, Johnny’s genetics were involved, and he did visit and spend time with her, but a child can have more than one dad, right?”
“From what I’ve seen, you already treat Daniel like he’s yours. And you don’t even have some guy with his genetics dropping by constantly to remind you.”
“I guess you’re right, but… Daniel is literally blue. It’s not like I can forget he’s not mine.”
“Zane, Brie literally has her father’s face. I was constantly reminded. The point is, it doesn’t matter. I was also Brie’s father. I never treated the girls differently.”
“You’re right. I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just promise to hit me over the head if I ever neglect Daniel.”
“Zane, you know I don’t hit people.”
“I know, I was joking. But honestly. I kinda wish you’d punched my dad back at the wedding.”
“Yeah, that was a mess. I’m sorry about all the drama.”
“You’re sorry? My dad should be sorry. That reminds me, Isa actually asked me to apologise to you. I think she’s too embarrassed to contact you directly.”
“I hope she laid off the champagne after I left.”
“Actually, our friend Conor ended up taking her home. I think they’re still seeing each other.”
“Anyway, thanks for talking me through this, Don. I better try to get some sleep so I can be there for Cora tomorrow.”
“Sure thing. Daniel and I will be crossing our fingers at home.”
“Good luck tomorrow.”
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Nothing lasts forever, and one evening Alex collapses in the kitchen.
Don is immediately by her side.
“Alex… babe please, don’t leave me… I love you.”
The funeral is a somber affair. Alex is put to rest outside the church she married Don in.
Don is crying his eyes out over the loss of his soulmate. Cora and Brie are also devastated.
Zane has shown up to pay his respects. He has known the entire family since he was a teenager, after all. And he wants to be there for Cora more than anything.
“I miss her so much. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“Me neither, Cora. Your mother was an amazing woman. She always made me feel welcome.”
“You’re a true friend, Zane. Thank you for being here.”
“I’ll always be there for you, Cora.”
Months pass, and Don deals with his grief by punching things and throwing himself back into a strict fitness regimen to keep himself occupied.
He also offers to mentor Zane, who wants to get in better shape. As a lawyer, he spends a lot of time sitting in front of a computer or in court. Zane comes by in the early morning before work.
Daniel always yells “Tsane!” whenever he sees him, and Zane is happy to play with him.
After an early morning training session with Don, Zane and Cora is saying goodbye by the door.
“So, Cora, I was wondering. Have you ever tried bowling?”
“Bowling? No, there wasn’t much of that in space. And now I’m too busy with work and Daniel.”
“Well, I think you need to get out of the house. How about you leave Daniel with Don, and I teach you the basics? I can pick you up at eight tonight?”
“Sure. See you tonight.”
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Don is going out for once. When he arrives at the restaurant, he is surprised to see Jodi as host.
“Oh no, it’s you. Your… date is waiting. And don’t tell anyone I work here.”
“Sure, Jodi… Say hi to your mother for me.”
“Luna, my dear, you are as radiant as the first time I saw you.”
“Don, smooth as always. Unlike me. Literally. The last 30 years have taken their toll.”
“I was very sorry to hear about your husband.”
“Hey, we had 25 good years. I was sorry to hear about Alex too.”
“So what are you up to these days? No grandkids yet?”
“Oh, I should hope not, my daughter Amy is still a teenager.”
The food arrives, and Luna and Don spend a few hours catching up.
“Don, it was lovely to see you again. Do… do you want to come back to my place?”
“I’m sorry, Luna. I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. But it was great to see you.”
Cora is back at work after having Eric, and the entire lab has been moved to a new, bigger facility with better security.
Cora is still stubbornly working on rocket upgrades. Surely it should be possible to get to Sixam in less than 7 months. Or at least in a smaller ship.
Payton, no longer her supervisor but her equal, tries talking her into doing other things.
“You never know, Cora. Inspiration could come from anywhere.”
“And me planting this has nothing to do with your bad knee?”
“That’s just a bonus.”
She also spends a lot of time experimenting with new and more efficient fuels, but she makes little progress.
Some of her co-workers are a little worried. Why does Cora act like she’s running out of time?
She almost seems like she has some sort of deadline coming up.
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Chapter 25
Don’t Let Me Get Me
We sent Freya to my parents for a few days while we sorted out the practical stuff. Kailani and Colten had already helped Katherine find a place to rent near the harbour. It was final.
I felt betrayed. How long had she been planning to leave? And why? Weren’t we doing fine, keeping it together for Freya?
Or was she leaving me for another man? Maybe someone who would actually touch her?
She told me that the night after Jamie and Athena’s wedding had made her realise that we were never going to work out. I would never really love her, and she was tired of trying. So she had simply started living her own life instead of fighting to be part of mine.
But she couldn’t live like this any longer. She was sick of being lonely, of our complete lack of intimacy, of how we barely spoke to each other, we just took turns with Freya.
But most of all, she was sick of my drinking and my depressive episodes. She didn’t want Freya to be affected by me any longer.
I begged her not to take my daughter away from me, but that was of course no use.
She said that getting Freya away from me was the whole point.
That hurt.
She promised that I could see Freya whenever I wanted, she even promised to try and find a permanent place in the Bay so they could stay nearby, but she wouldn’t let Freya live with me.
There was nothing I could do.
No amount of arguing would change her mind. I drank and slept on the couch for the next few days while she packed her things. And most of Freya’s things.
By the time she had finished, I felt numb.
She said goodbye. Then she told me to get my shit together so I could see my daughter.
She also said she was sorry. For everything. Then she kissed my forehead and left to pick up Freya from my parents.
I locked the door behind her and sank to the floor.
Once again, I felt like my life was in ruins, but last time it was because I was having a daughter.
This time I had lost her.
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