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darkhymns-fic · 8 months

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Being an angel is pretty inconvenient, huh? (Ch. 7)

Several years later, Colette reflects on what's changed and what hasn't - for Lloyd and for herself. [A Lloyd wingfic]

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Frank Brunel Rating: T Word Count: 6493 Mirror: AO3 Notes: For Colloyd Week 2023, Day 7: Free Day! This fic is now complete! There are more notes over on AO3. Otherwise, thanks for reading along!

On Colette’s twentieth birthday, she went to visit her father.

Frank was busy in the garden that was facing the back of the house, pulling out the weeds and setting them aside on a cleared patch of green. Colette had been quiet when she arrived, hovering down to the ground with her wings, barely moving them. The sun was bright, overpowering any of her light. She was fine with this, curious to see how her father worked on his garden. He had always been a gentle man, holding onto the weeds with care, apologetic in his every gesture.

Her grandmother had always said she took after her father the most.

But even as silent as she could be, Frank still turned around, his faint blue eyes alight when he spotted her. He placed the weeds on the ground, wiping dirt onto his pants. “Colette! You made it.”

"Of course!" Looped around her right arm was the handle of a wicker basket. On the back porch, the outdoor table had been recently cleaned of any fallen leaves and petals. She spotted the teapot that was already set, along with the porcelain cups. "I brought a few sandwiches for us."

Frank took a moment to get to his feet, but even in his clear exhaustion, he was smiling wide as he pulled up a chair across from her. "Let me guess… is it your famous caramel apple sandwiches?"

"Oh, I made you a ham and cheese one, but I got some extra apple sandwiches if you'd like!"

And her father was kind, as he always was, gratefully accepting the food, as he would do when she was little and just learning how she could stuff her favorite fruits into sandwiches. It was at least more to it than just plain apple slices between two pieces of bread this time. After some lessons with Genis, her once plain apple sandwiches were now served with caramel sauce and creamy cheese.

Colette only remembered when she sat down to finally put her wings away, the action sending motes of lights drifting in the breeze, fixing up her dress that now stretched past her knees. She watched it mingle with the rays of the sun before dissipating. Once, her father would have long stared at her wings in silence, his lips never quite lifting into a smile. But now, he barely glanced at it, or even commented on it at all.

The ginger tea was warm, her father always brewing it just right. As they drank and ate, she also decided to count the rows of flowers that had just started to bloom. The brightness of the marigolds gave her once plain backyard a sunny feeling, but it was the tulips that took over, their colors more varied, from bright red to a deep purple that matched her wings. Still, never had she imagined her father to suddenly develop a green thumb.

“Did you not want something bigger for your birthday?” Frank asked, leaning back in his chair. He had finished her apple sandwich first before taking the other in his hands. “This seems so small.”

Colette smiled. It truly was small, compared to her earlier birthdays—of the whole village gathered in the plaza, to wish the Chosen another year closer to salvation. She sipped the tea, enjoying, savoring that warmth. “But I’m happy with this. And I get to see your garden this way!”

Frank chuckled. Hours in the sun had bleached his already light-blonde hair, but the laugh lines around his mouth had also deepened. She remembered his smiles more in these recent years than when she was a child. “Dirk has been giving me a lot of advice on fixing up the flower bed. I might even start growing some vegetables later. Without needing to attend the Church as often as before, I find myself with a lot more time on my hands.”

That reminded her then. “I also just visited Grandmother in the temple, along with the other children.” She cradled the teacup in her hands, the mixture having long cooled. “They had just gotten back from a trip to the beach. They all seem to be doing well! And Jonah and his little sister recently got adopted.”

Frank nodded at the news, chuckling softly. “She has been very busy lately. But I think your grandmother always liked being occupied as much as she can.”

Even when the priests eventually left the Iselia temple, with the importance of the Chosen starting to wane with each passing year, it hadn't stopped Phaidra from visiting it, climbing those steps every morning. It also hadn't stopped her from deciding that the great atrium, now free of monsters as well as those of the cloth, could still be useful. Orphaned children from the Palmacosta tragedy, or rescued from the once common ranches, needed a safe place to stay.

Also, Colette figured that Verius, who had taken the temple for their home, liked the company. After all, it didn’t hurt for the children to have an additional guardian, and the Summon Spirit didn’t seem to mind its new role at all.

“And Lloyd?” Frank poured her another cup of tea, his hands steady as he did so. “I’m surprised he’s not with you.”

“Martel called him,” she answered, blowing on the hot tea. “He has to honor his pact with her, since he hasn’t gone to see the tree in a while.”

“Well, I hope you can spend this day with him at least a little. Or…did he forget again?”

Colette couldn’t help but laugh at the suggestion. “I should ask him that! But he’s been getting better about the dates.”

“And… is he getting better overall?” Frank asked. Both he and Phaidra had been one of the last to finally know about Lloyd’s wings—although Colette had always wondered if he had seen them both that day when she and Lloyd flew to the temple. Her father had never pushed to know, had always been patient to a fault.

“He is,” and though her voice was soft, the smile came to her naturally. She recalled the softness of feathers against her palm, the sensation making her chest warm. “We have so many wonderful friends that helped him.”

Still, there was a greedy part of herself she couldn’t ignore. Once they were on their journey again, they would only have each other, and the promise of it made her eager for the days to pass—even for her birthday to pass.

“Well, please tell Lloyd he is always welcome to come visit us anytime. I’m sure by then, I’ll have my vegetable garden set up! He can have the first bite of it.” Frank tapped his chin, thinking over his possible plantings. “Grape tomatoes are supposed to grow well this season. I’ll make sure they’re juicy once he comes around.”

Colette nearly spat out her tea as a giggle bubbled from her throat. Tomatoes! she thought, already imagining the look on Lloyd’s face if she brought him around. “Y-yeah! I’ll tell him!” And it wasn’t like she had to tell Lloyd just what type of vegetables her father was growing anyway.

She chatted with Frank until the sun made its descent through the sky, its light filtering through the trees that surrounded the backyard. The summer beetles hovered around the branches, and the breeze lifted her hair. She wanted even more of the tea, which brought back memories of holding the same cup when she was little, watching as her father dipped a spoonful of honey into the mixture.

She was so distracted by it that she didn’t at first hear the footsteps from behind her. They were quiet and padding, barely making the wood creak as they walked along the porch.

But it was the mewing sound that caught her full attention.

A white, furry shape jumped onto the table, knocking aside one of the teacups that Colette attempted to rescue. It hadn’t broken, which was the important thing. Still, she barely gave it a second thought, grinning at the sight of the cat; his meowing still as high-pitched as it was when he was first found.

“Blippy!”

“Still a little rascal,” Frank commented, but didn’t mind any of the spilled tea that was running across the table, merely mopping it up with a cloth napkin he had. “He always gets more energetic whenever you visit.”

Colette hardly needed to reach out before Blippy pressed his head into her palms. His purrs rumbled through her skin, the softness of his fur as familiar as the feathers from this morning. “I hope he’s been good,” she said.

Frank’s smile was a peaceful one. “Always. Your grandmother can’t get enough of him.”

The grown cat, so content with her petting, was a far cry from the small kitten she had once carried around in a basket. Once, he had been such a tiny thing, sometimes shaking as if it still remembered the river it had nearly drowned in. But then it would also reach out towards Lloyd’s wings to paw at like they were toys, to rub his nose at her fingers, fascinated by everything all around. It had been like that when they traveled to Mizuho, to Ozette, to the World Tree, and to so much else.

But the journey wasn’t just about sightseeing or visiting friends. Gathering the Exspheres still meant weeks out on the road and in the open, and fighting with those who refused to relinquish what they had. She knew they had to get Blippy into a proper home.

“Then why not with your dad’s?” Lloyd had suggested then, the idea coming to him so quickly that even Colette had been surprised. “I always thought your house could have used a pet.”

Maybe Lloyd knew it would make it easier for her, to leave Blippy with her family, to reassure them when she would need to be gone once again from their lives. She could tell how often his fur was brushed, how well-fed he was, and how the collar around his neck sparkled with the tag that was attached to it. His tail swished across the table happily, with his paws kneading one of the cloth napkins.

“Lloyd needs to visit you too,” she whispered, her fingers threading through the fur on Blippy’s neck. “I know he’s been missing you.”

It had also been months since Colette had truly pet a cute animal! There were no longer as many stray dogs that hung around towns or fishing ports, and while it made her happy that most of those doggies now had a stable home, she had missed giving them both pets and names, to shower them with as much love as she could before she had to be on her way. So she got her fill with Blippy, repeating his name and patting down the fur.

But then, she heard a small ringing sound from beneath her hand…

“Ah, Colette!” Frank stretched out his hand, plucking something tiny from the inside of her teacup. It glittered within his palm, the smooth metal capturing the light of the sun. “You dropped your…”

Her eyes caught the shimmer of the intricately cut topaz, and the familiar engraving on the metal. “Oh! Oh no, I almost lost it again…” She quickly accepted the item, affixing it back to her finger. “Thank you. I think I had it on the wrong finger today.” That was why it felt oddly bigger than usual…

Frank sighed but was smiling all the same. “Lucky I caught it now and not in my garden patch like last time. I nearly buried it with the tulip seeds.”

Colette’s flush rose to her cheeks, laughing as she touched the metal band. “Lloyd said he would just make me another if I did lose it, but I hope it doesn’t come to that… Ah, speaking of Lloyd…!” Her heart fluttered, seeing just how far the sun had traveled across the sky.

“Forgot you already have to meet up with him?” Frank answered for her so easily, already getting up from his chair.

“Yes! I’m sorry, I was really enjoying our lunch and then Blippy showed up…” At the mention of the cat, she had to give her friend a few more pets, a few more scritches beneath his ears. It took the prompting her wings appearing to finally stop, despite getting fur everywhere on her dress.

Another chorus of meowing, and Blippy was reaching up to paw at a bright wingtip. She giggled when she felt his soft paws make contact. “Aw, I don’t think you’ll like playing with mine as much as Lloyd’s,” she said.

Frank moved to pet Blippy, giving Colette a moment to escape. “Go on. It’ll be the end of your birthday before you know it.”

In his voice, she heard a soft plea. He would have wanted her to stay, as he had wanted her to numerous times. Saved from her fate as a Chosen, yet even so, he had to keep seeing his daughter off to an unknown.

But the worry lines in his forehead were not as deep, and she saw him visibly relax as he ran his hand across Blippy’s fur. The loneliness was not as all-engulfing as it had once been.

Colette rushed over to give Frank a great hug, her wings fluttering to keep her afloat. She felt his arms squeeze her back. “I’ll see you again soon.”

He hugged her tightly. He used to hold her with hesitance, as if doing it too much was not correct for the man who was only supposed to watch over until she must save the world. But she felt his love in his embrace, his fear now gone.

“Happy birthday, Colette.”

And when she flew off, she couldn’t help but turn back. She watched Blippy jump into Frank’s arms, as if knowing he still needed a shape to hold.

Lloyd really did always have the best ideas.

On the day that Lloyd’s wings had changed, Colette felt that she had failed him then. It was how the shape of his wings imprinted themselves into her mind like nothing else, how his stuttering gasp of fear had clutched at her ribs, how he fell limp to the ground once the back of his jacket was ripped open.

The kitten in his hands had been shaking, and she had to coax the little thing to go to her. He had held it out to her, in a last desperate attempt. The blood drenched the ground like it was rain, but Colette could not split herself in two to help both at once. She wrapped the kitten in a towel, patted it dry, and kept it safe within the shade of the tree. It had curled up, already fast asleep. And then, she finally rushed over to Lloyd’s side.

When Colette touched his wings, it was sticky with blood. The feathers were sporadic, the bones jutting out at sharp angles. She looked at his back, and it was a ruined mess, his skin so torn. Still, her hands reached out to him, even as Lloyd shook, even when she heard him cry out in pain.

Colette was not a healer. Even with all her angelic artes, she didn’t know a sufficient healing spell. Professor Sage should have come with him instead, she thought, while reaching for their packs for any of their first aid equipment. Or Zelos. Or Sheena. They would have known what to do. They would have had the experience of healing Lloyd in some way.

She remembered how much she was shaking herself as she tried to make use of the bandages. But no, she needed to remove his jacket first. Except his jacket was destroyed with bits of it stuck to his wings, and with the blood everywhere, it was hard to tell which was clothing and which were his feathers, steeped in a gory mess.

It made her so afraid. To think being an angel could still keep causing so much suffering.

“Gh!”

Lloyd gave a sharp gasp of pain that pierced her chest. His wings were too big. They bent at odd angles, were crooked, and still so fresh with agony.

She at first just tried to hold his hand. His Exsphere felt so warm, and only when she looked down did she see it shine. Was it hurting Lloyd? Was it helping him? Still, she held on tight.

Colette had hesitated, and that was a moment she wished she could have redone.

“Lloyd…” she called out softly, but still he was shaking. His other hand clutched at the ground, and his eyes were shut. His wings moved, and somehow, in that moment, they seemed a bit less intimidating.

Colette finally embraced him, carefully, as the blood stained her dress so deeply, feeling sticky against her skin.

She was clumsy with the bandages, and she was slow when she tried to clean up his wings then. Her fingers made contact with them once again, worried that every motion from her was hurting him.

How broken he looked then, barely able to stay awake. Still, she felt him lean against her, clinging back to her hand. His shaking lessened, even if only by a little.

Colette only realized her wings were still out as she continued to bandage him, the light falling over the ground and his feathers.

“I love you so much and this is all I can do.” She bit her lip, her vision blurry with tears, but kept him in her arms. “I’m sorry.”

She didn’t expect a response, not until she heard him stir, mumbling something.

“Ah, Lloyd?” Trying to hold him gently, she avoided touching his wings, in case it really did hurt him. “Careful…”

“M’fine.” The words slurred out of his throat, and still she tried to keep him elevated. There were brief bouts of pain that made him shake, apologies once again spilling from her. But when he turned to stare at her, the light of her wings illuminating his face, he looked questioning.

She wondered if he had heard what she said earlier.

Colette had never before told Lloyd that she loved him. Not out loud, at least. It was tempting to say it again—but what right did she have when he was this weak?

“The kitten…” he whispered. “Is it…”

There was both relief and disappointment in her chest, a feeling she felt all too accustomed to, for so much else.

When she pointed to the sleeping kitten, all curled up and safe, she saw Lloyd smile. It looked almost euphoric; from the pain or from relief? But he quickly fell asleep again, still holding onto her hand. His wings lowered slightly, and through some of the blood, she saw their color was white.

Colette tried to set up a spot for Lloyd to rest, angling his body so that his wings wouldn’t be cramped. Her dress was still stained, and after she finally was able to change into a new set, she sat beside Lloyd, noting that most of his wounds seemed to have healed.

She did love Lloyd, but this time, the words stayed locked inside her throat. All she could give him was the touch of her hand, his fingers clinging to her again. I can’t push that on him now, she thought, even as part of her wished she could, somehow. The closest she had ever hinted at it was a kiss on the cheek every now and then, which Lloyd always accepted with a flush and a wide smile. Maybe I can just do that later…

It wasn’t long though before the kitten came to waddle up to her.

“You should be resting too!” she said. “Or are you awake because you’re hungry?”

In answer, the little animal pressed against her arm, meowing constantly that she couldn’t help but give it a few pets. “Hehe, you’ll wake Lloyd up,” she said, but didn’t stop from giving it a few scratches, entranced by its golden eyes.

At the petting, the kitten stuck out its tongue at her, making such a face that Colette couldn’t help but laugh at it—quietly. She really needed to let Lloyd rest for as long as he could.

With a small gesture, she coaxed the kitten to come closer. Its fur was no longer matted or dirty by the river. It even seemed to already forget the whole ordeal altogether.

“You need a name, don’t you?” She let it cuddle into her lap, all while she kept holding fast to Lloyd’s hands, hearing him breathe deeply as he slept. “Hm, you feel like a Blippy to me…”

“Heeeey, Coleeeette!”

Even if Lloyd hadn’t called out to her, it would be hard to really miss him at all.

The Great Tree had finally started to grow over the last few years, less of a sapling and more like a young oak tree whose roots had finally settled deep into the soil. It now reached past her height, inviting one to look above and try to see the very top. Birds flitted among the branches, rustling up the leaves that sounded hushed in the glade. If it weren’t for the mana that she could feel through the air currents surrounding it, the tree would have looked like any other in a forest.

As she flew towards it, she already caught sight of Lloyd, and the great wings that were outstretched as he flew over the top of the tree. The setting sun painted his feathers in watercolors of orange and violet.

He was waving at her with both arms. His wings flapped behind him excitedly. “Hey!!”

“I see you, Lloyd!” Colette waved back, her wings taking her further up into the sky. The leaves turned brighter from the light of her passing, and even the air around her seemed quieter too. She wondered if Martel was nearby, and if she would see her this time?

She only just barely broke past the tree’s canopy before Lloyd rushed to her with a great hug, tumbling them both through the air.

The feeling was almost electric; Colette’s wings fluttered to try and keep them upright, as well as from falling to the ground. But Lloyd’s arms were strong, his hands pressed against her back while his wings stayed outstretched to catch the gentle gusts of wind.

“We’re gonna fall!” she called out, except her voice was already devolving into laughter, mixing with Lloyd’s own.

“We’re fine, we’re fine!” Lloyd’s grin could be felt against her ear as he already kissed her cheek. The affection made her want to hold onto him even more. “I felt I was going crazy without you here.”

It was too easy for him to make her heart beat so fast at just a few simple words. But she didn’t let go, her fingers moving to interlock just at his back, to stroke at his feathers. “Hehe, it’s only been a few hours.”

“Really? It felt way longer!”

For a while, both held each other in the air, lifted by their wings; one made of light, the other of feathers. She could have been content to just stay, to just soak in his touch like nothing else. It seemed as if Lloyd was ready to just fall asleep in her arms like this—until he spoke again.

“…I think Martel could tell I was getting kinda bored.”

She tried to hold back her laughter, which came out as something like a sneeze instead. Lloyd moved back to pout at her. “It’s not that funny.”

“It’s a little bit! I wonder what Yuan would think?”

“Oh, I don’t even wanna know…”

Even as she slipped her grip from his shoulders, she felt his hand take hold of hers. His Exsphere, embedded in his thick glove, winked in the sunlight, and was warm as her thumb rubbed it absent mindedly. Looking at Lloyd against the backdrop of the Great Tree, she felt light. He still wore bright red, though no longer did he have suspenders on. His jacket was larger, the button clasps still fashioned tightly over his chest, and the longer hem pulled by the wind. Though he no longer sported flowing white ribbons, Colette knew if she let her hands wander around his collar, she’d find the bow she would tie up for him every morning.

He had also let his hair grow out slightly in the last few years, just slightly, with a lock or two sometimes falling over his forehead. It almost always called to her to push it aside, to let her fingers linger as she did so.

And of course, how bright and beautiful his wings were, framing both his face and smile.

With a gentle beat of his wings, Lloyd led her closer to the tree, to a certain spot among its branches. The more she looked at it, the more she understood just how much stronger it was getting, and just how fast it seemed to grow over these past few years.

But she could see the concerned expression on Lloyd’s face, even before he spoke.

“Martel says that she’s been sensing some unease in some parts of Sylvarant.” Lloyd sighed, leading them both to an outstretched branch that reached towards the west. “Probably those Vanguard guys again.”

Colette had known of that. The reunification of the world hadn’t been met with complete acceptance. Many feared Tethe’alla’s power, despite efforts from Zelos and Sheena to dissuade it. “It’s enough to affect the tree?”

Lloyd nodded, landing on the branch with her. It was steady, with just a small creaking of the wood, the leaves whispering as they seated themselves, as they would do when they were children and climbing up the trees around Iselia. “So along with the Exspheres, I’ll need to check on all of this, too.” He scratched the back of his head. “Sorry. I just keep dragging you around everywhere.”

Colette swung her legs from the branch. “You know I don’t mind. I can help talk with people, like Zelos does.” It was what she had already done on their travels. Not everyone would listen, and not everyone forgave the Chosen for not completing her journey, but there were still others who did, and in that forgiveness, she found more strength.

She grinned a little at a past memory, one that caught Lloyd’s curiosity. “Hey, what’s got you laughing now?”

“Just remembering when that little girl followed you around back in Asgard. I think your wings were her favorite. And you even helped her fly with you!”

Lloyd grinned slightly, all while still gripping her hand. “Heh… I don’t think her mom appreciated that though.”

“Oh, hehe. I guess you’re right.” Even so, that day had made her happy—seeing Lloyd comfortable, when once before, he hadn’t wanted to be seen at all.

The branch they sat on was more out in the open, allowing Lloyd’s wings enough space to stretch and fold evenly against his back, to not be too buffeted by leaves and other boughs. It had still taken time for Lloyd to show himself in public as he was now, with wings that evoked the angels of Cruxis. Some had even wondered if he was yet a third Chosen that had appeared with the reunion of the worlds.

But something Colette had always noticed during their travels, something dear to her, was how the children were always the very first to accept Lloyd, to reach out for his wings with no fear at all.

The glade where the Great Tree resided stretched out before them, the sky slowly turning to dusk. The tree was just tall enough to stand above most other trees of the area, allowing them a clear view of the mountains that lied to the south. Colette felt content, her free hand pressing against the bark, where the mana of the earth flowed through, while the other still lay in Lloyd’s palm.

“I saw Blippy today,” she finally mentioned, the color of his wings reminding her of that white fur.

“Oh! So he’s doing good?” Lloyd asked. She heard the little eagerness in his tone. “I think it’s been almost a year since I’ve seen him.”

“Yeah, he’s doing really good! Father loves having him around. He’s taking good care of him.”

Lloyd smiled at that. Before they had given Blippy to Frank, she would often find the kitten in Lloyd’s arms as he slept, positioned in a way to not put more weight on his wings.

After only a short while, Lloyd then gave such a great yawn that his jawbone audibly cracked from the effort. His wings fluffed a bit at the action, and his back stretched. “This place always makes me so sleepy…”

“If you want, you could sleep right now. I’ll watch over you.”

“I haven’t really mastered how to sleep on a branch without falling down though,” Lloyd answered, then winced slightly. “Also, I think I slept on my wings the other night. They’re a little achy.”

That only made Colette move closer so she could press her fingers into his wingspan. Feathers shifted at her touch, and she watched Lloyd’s eyes flutter shut at her massage. “Maybe I accidentally rolled onto them again…” she admitted.

“Aw, well, I like having them around you though.” He sighed happily, feeling her kneading touch. “Like…extra arms… or something.”

Colette smiled, her wings still out and illuminating his feathers with a gentle and familiar glow. “I also stayed a bit late when I was home, and I got worried I wouldn’t make it in time to see you, especially for today.”

Lloyd opened his eyes again. “Huh… Why’s today so important?”

Ah, Colette thought. She stuck out her tongue at him playfully. “Because,” she started with a little dramatic flair. “It’s today!”

Lloyd blinked, one of his wings curving around her once the aches went away. “You’re so dorky sometimes. Seriously, what’s so special about to… Uh…” He froze.

Colette found his shocked expression so cute that she had to cover up her giggles with a hand. “Did you forget again—?”

“I didn’t!” He paused, his face colored in tomato-red, just a shade brighter than his clothes. “Really! I knew your birthday was coming, just…not today… But I really didn’t forget! Promise!”

Teasing Lloyd was always a fun hobby of hers, but she tried to show him some mercy. “It’s okay, Lloyd. I really don’t mind at all! Especially when there’s been so much going on lately.”

“No, Colette, I’m really serious!” Lloyd leaned forward, taking her other hand in his. “I already have your birthday present!”

Now it was her turn to be speechless. The wind pushed aside her hair, the leaves of the Great Tree whispering all around her.

“Er, well, what I mean is… I made it ahead of time.” Lloyd threaded his fingers with hers, switching from looking at their hands and back to her face in intervals. “I really didn’t want you to not have a birthday present this year. Especially since…this is the first year that we’ve been…

Colette’s breath was caught when Lloyd took her hand in his—the hand that held the ring he had made for her. He touched that ring gently, biting his lip.

“So, I didn’t forget! Kind of, anyway. But, to give you your birthday present, I’m gonna need this for a second.”

Colette hadn’t expected it. She was still for a good solid moment until a distant bird call brought her back to reality. “Oh! But, how come?”

Through his flush, and the stray locks of hair she wanted to touch, he said, “Hey, trust me. I promise it’ll be good.”

She had no reason to deny that. And so, she held out her hand closer to him. He had been the one to first put it on her, after all.

Lloyd delicately slipped the ring from her finger. Even from their height, she knew he wouldn’t drop it. If it had been her, it could have slipped off her finger and fallen to the ground below, lost among the bushes. But instead, it stayed safe in Lloyd’s hold, looking small within his palm. The topaz that he embedded into the silver band glittered, along with the engraving of Sylvaranti letters alongside it.

She had read it so, so many times, yet it never failed to make her heart clench.

Lloyd was so adept with his hands, that his steadiness didn’t falter at all when he reached for a small box that he had within a hidden pocket in his jacket. It was several inches long, lengthwise, and made from oak that Lloyd must have carved himself. She remembered those few days when he had gone back to Dirk’s home a month ago. Was that when he had…?

He opened it, and inside it was a golden chain.

“Lloyd…” she whispered, watching eagerly as he picked it up. And with his deft fingers, he had opened the clasp to slide her ring onto that same chain.

“Hold on,” he said, seeing how she was about to speak. He grinned. “I’m not done yet.”

Using his teeth, Lloyd pulled at his right glove. The leather came off, and there, on his ring finger, was a golden band that matched hers, but with ruby for its jewel. The red matched his clothes, matched the blushes he would give when embarrassed, matched the passion she would feel from him in their kisses.

He took off that ring, slid it onto the same chain, and then shut the clasp. Both of their rings clinked against each other, the setting sun reflecting off the cut jewels, making them shine even more.

Lloyd offered the necklace to her. “Is it alright if I…?”

Colette didn’t hesitate this time. She nodded rapidly, then quickly turned around, lifting her hair so that no strands would get caught. Her wings were out, still, but they moved through him, her mana mixing with his. It sent soft warmth across her neck at the sensation.

She still wore the necklace he had first given her years ago; a birthday present given late, fashioned and re-fashioned numerous times, so that it could counter the once crystal sickness that had run rampant on her skin. The runes inscribed onto it had faded a bit with time, the golden surface of it scratched from so much use. After so long wearing it, Altessa had told them that any threat from her disease should no longer be a reality. She would not revert to her soulless state, especially now that she could better control her angelic artes and senses.

Yet, Colette still wore the necklace. Nothing else had been more precious.

But she trusted Lloyd when he unclasped that childhood necklace, to be replaced by the new one. She felt the rings bounce against her dress, the chain cool on her skin. Lloyd’s fingers, both gloved and ungloved, brushed her skin as he fixed the clasp.

“Dad helped me out with the chain,” Lloyd said. “He made sure it still had the runes on it, just in case.” She heard him clear his throat, caught the white patch of a wing near her side. “I know you were worried about losing your ring, so… I thought this would help! And necklaces are harder to miss…”

Colette turned back to him, finding that same red flush on his cheeks that she had always known. Her fingers reached to clutch at their wedding rings, both of them, and how close they were to her heart. “This is so… But, now that I have yours, too…”

“Heh, about that… I made another! See?” He went ahead and pulled off his other red glove, wiggling his fingers to show off a similarly-crafted ring, with the same design of the ruby and inscription on the band. “I thought it would be cool if I had two of them! And then when I thought of your necklace, I figured I could use one of them for it. But I still get to wear this one!

He cleared his throat again, as if just hearing how silly that all was when said out loud. “A-anyway, I really wanted it to be special. Oh, and,” he held out the carved box that the chain had been in, putting in the older necklace in its confines. “If you still want to keep this one or wear it again, it’s here. But… I really hope you like this new one I made.”

And with another shaky breath, his nervousness both endearing and wonderful, Lloyd told her, “Happy birthday.”

Maybe it was the way it was said in the setting sun, or maybe it was how his wings caught the light, reflecting so many colors just then. Was it the closeness of the Great Tree? The mana that existed all around them, but could be seen in their wings? She thought he had never looked so beautiful then.

Well, except once.

So it was this time that Colette rushed to him in a sudden hug, laughing happily, and kissing his lips when she could. “Thank you, Lloyd! I love you!”

And if they happened to have fallen off the branch and knocked aside some leaves before finding their balance in the air, that was okay too. She was sure Martel would forgive them.

When Colette and Lloyd got married, Dirk had helped fashion the groom’s clothes, for Lloyd could not just go to any regular tailor. His wings made it difficult just to wear most things, but his father was all too happy to make the clothes special for his son. For he could invoke all his love in every stitch, all his pride in the chosen fabric color.

Colette remembered how Lloyd’s wings that day were so grand, how their white color matched her own dress. She could barely pay attention to much else at all, to their friends, to their families, to anything else. Just Lloyd’s wonderful smile, and the way their hands linked together.

“Hey,” he had whispered to her once it was over. Her lips were still tingling from their kiss, just now catching her breath. “I love you.”

His wings seemed to catch colors then. Maybe it had been from the setting sun, for the feathers tinged with orange, or maybe it had been from her wings, for the feathers were painted violet. Yet, she thought there was more, an array of colors from cerulean to ruby, from silver to gold.

She reached out to touch them, whispering her love to him as she stroked those feathers, as she watched his wings curl around her. He's beautiful, she thought, melting in his hold.

For Colette had always loved every part of Lloyd.

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #frank brunel #colloydweek2023 #colloyd #fanfiction #multi chapter

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darkhymns-fic · 9 months

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Being an angel is pretty inconvenient, huh? (Ch. 6)

Finally, Lloyd returns home to Dirk. But he's never figured out a way to tell him about his new wings. How does one even start? [A Lloyd wingfic]

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving, Dirk, Noishe Rating: T Word Count: 6852 Mirror: AO3 Notes: For Colloyd Week 2023, Day 6: Quote Day: “What would I wish for now if a falling star crossed the night sky?” This is long and self-indulgent, as expected!

In the distance, Lloyd saw the spiral of smoke, how it drifted up into the sky.

He craned his head, leaning back to watch it climb. In the darkness, it was harder to differentiate it from the clouds. Much of the weather lately had hidden away the sun, and that included the stars when night fell, blanketing them, making one's journey home just a bit more difficult.

But he and Colette had still found the way. They had traveled through Sylvarant so much, both on land and through the sky, that it was second-nature to find the road that led to Iselia, and eventually, to Dirk’s house.

To his house.

Lloyd kept watching the smoke, then lowered his gaze to see the warm light from the windows. The one on the far right illuminated a stable, along with the shifting ears of a creature deep in sleep.

He didn't hear Colette’s footsteps, but he noticed the soft violet shade that stretched along the road. “We don't have to go just yet, if you're not ready,” she said. The tip of her wing brushed over his own, pure light against feather and bone.

He could hear his father at work. The rhythmic clunk of the hammer echoed through the stillness. It was one sound of many that Lloyd had grown up with, sometimes even falling asleep to it as Dirk continued to work late into the night. For a commission, for a repair to the house that was long overdue, or for a project of his very own making.

The sound may as well have been lifted from his memories. His dad had always said dwarves rarely changed throughout their years.

Lloyd swallowed. But then what will he think when he sees me?

There was a soft meow from behind him.

He turned to see Blippy poke his head from the basket Colette carried. The once tiny kitty had grown, though only by a few inches or so. Blippy’s white fur shone bright in the night. Wide eyes looked up at Lloyd, then started pawing at a feather that dangled just above a wet nose.

Lloyd couldn’t help a small laugh that escaped his throat. “Hey, my wings aren’t a new toy for you.”

Colette smiled but made no move to stop the kitten. “And after Yuan gave him a bunch of cat toys for him to play with too.” She hefted up the bag she carried in her other hand, the felt of one pet toy sneaking out from the top.

“...Yeah, why did he have those toys anyway? You think he used to be a cat owner?”

“Or maybe it used to belong to Noishe when they traveled together! I think Yuan really likes animals.”

“You sure? He seems too grumpy to be an animal lover though…”

Blippy was oblivious to their talk, still bapping away at Lloyd’s feathers. With a grin, he placed a gloved hand over the kitten’s head, scratching just beneath his ear. Even so, those tiny paws kept reaching for him.

“Hey, little guy. We’ll play with you soon. Just…first I gotta—”

And, Lloyd had thought they weren’t being particularly loud. There were always little rustles in the forest around nighttime, the kind that would make Noishe retreat further into his pen, or even sneak inside the house to cower underneath Lloyd’s bed.

The keening whine through the air made him think otherwise.

Going by Colette's expression, even she hadn’t expected Noishe to already be upon them. “Ah, N-Noishe, wait!” But Lloyd already felt the great paw right in the center of his back, nudging against his wings.

He fell face first into the ground.

“Gah! Noishe! Heavy!” Lloyd struggled, but the great green beast was busy nuzzling his snout against Lloyd’s cheek, letting out great bark-whines right in his ear. “Okay, okay! I'm happy to see you too but get off!”

Also, having four legs, this meant Noishe kept accidentally stepping right on Lloyd's wings, as well as his back. I don't have to worry about losing these on my own, he's just gonna break them off!

“Calm down, boy! Here, look! We have a new friend for you!” Colette was truly doing her best, petting Noishe’s ears as he still half-trampled over Lloyd. She then lifted the basket, where Blippy was looking up at Noishe with another mew.

The sound was new to Noishe, who had rarely been around normal cats and was only used to the monstrous ones, like giant lynxes or chimeras. He whined, pressing his paw against the back of Lloyd’s head.

Despite having wings, Lloyd sure was getting to know the ground a lot more!

“Oy, what's all the racket, Noishe? Are the little foxes bullying you again?”

And just like that, Noishe stepped off Lloyd, giving mercy to his wings (and back). He was sure he lost a few extra feathers…

“Mr. Dirk! It's us!” Colette called out, helping Lloyd get back to his feet, brushing off dirt clumps and grass from his jacket. “We're home!”

And it was that word, home, that made Lloyd suddenly freeze.

He was still facing away from the house, from Dirk. So right now, his dad had a full view of his wings, which were a little scuffled now from Noishe’s paws, their feathers probably falling off and floating to the ground.

And Dirk wasn’t saying anything.

Lloyd took a shaky breath. A part of him didn’t want to turn around, instead feeling the instinct to fly away and hide. But he had come all this way, and there was something aching in his chest to finally be inside his house after what felt like such a long time.

When he did turn, he was careful to keep his wings folded, so that they wouldn't get in anyone’s way. They were always getting in someone’s way. “Hey…Dad. Um…” He smiled tremulously, giving a small shrug. “Surprise?”

Dirk was only a few feet away, standing at the other end of the logs that served as a makeshift bridge over a small river. The dwarf’s arms were crossed, silently looking at Lloyd more and more, the wind ruffling his thick beard.

As the moments passed, all Lloyd could think that this had been a mistake. His wings shifted, curling inward more as if they could fully hide behind his back. “Sorry, I… a lot happened and…”

“Ya came here earlier than I thought,” Dirk interrupted. He scratched at his beard, humming softly. “The renovations aren't quite ready yet. Thought I’d be done sooner, but I suppose all these centuries are finally catching up to me.”

Lloyd blinked. “Reno-what?”

“Well, don't just stand there, boy. Nights have been colder here lately, ya know. What with that Celsius lass taking root in Triet now. Get the both of you inside and I'll heat up some stew.”

With that, Dirk stepped back into the house through the front doorway. Warm light framed his silhouette before he moved to the side where the kitchen was, the clinking of pots echoing.

Wait, Lloyd thought. Something seems different…

“Uh, Dad?” Lloyd asked, looking at the entrance to the house for a long while, squinting and unsquinting until he finally understood what he was seeing. “Where's the door?”

It sounded weird to say out loud, but there really was just suddenly no door at the front of his house! The metal hinges were still present, and as he looked closer, there were wood shavings scattered along the floor. That, and the door frame itself seemed to be carved in a little more than he remembered.

“Ah, that? The old one won't fit the new measurements, so I had to take it down.” Dirk brought an old cooking pot to the fire stove, the logs already fairly lit. “I only had Ms. Sage’s letter to know just how much I would need to widen the doorway for you, and I still need to fix the top as well. I’ve also been mending your clothes that you left behind—so you’ll need to put on your jackets a little differently. I’ve fashioned some clasps in the back to make it fit better, but should more or less be the same. Reminds me of the time I had to lengthen my very own trousers when you had yer growth spurt!”

Lloyd was just more and more confused at the new information being given. “Wait, the Professor's letter? When did she…?

A whine from Noishe pierced through the night, followed by a wagging tail that thumped against the ground at the scent of prepared food. Dirk turned at the sound—and it was then he noticed the little kitten Colette still held, wide eyes shining bright from the fire stove.

“Got yerselves even more mouths to feed, did ya?”

Lloyd remained standing outside, but Colette heard the invitation in Dirk’s tone, stepping towards the doorway, basket in hand. “His name is Blippy. But, I guess Professor Sage must have told you already.”

The dwarf chuckled as he gazed at the little animal, petting its head, his thick hand nearly thrice the size of it. “Fine little critter. Lloyd, you did good saving this young one.”

Something about that made Lloyd leave his confuddled daze, shaking his head—which in turn made his feathers fluff up. “So you already knew about my wings!? This whole time?!” A pause. “You know everything?!”

“Ay, keep yer voice down! No sense shouting to the whole world at this hour.” Dirk faced Lloyd, the sweat on his brow apparent from the work he had put himself through. “I got no word from ya all this time. Had me worried sick if you were hurt or worse. So, I sent a query to your teacher. I figured if anyone would know anything, she would be the one.”

At that, Lloyd hung his head, running a hand through his hair. “And I've been freaking out about how to tell you…”

“I'm sorry we haven't sent anything in so long,” Colette quickly apologized. “So much happened all at once, that we just, kinda lost track.”

Dirk smiled at her, his thick beard moving like a bristly forest. “Now, you know I always appreciate your letters about how you and Lloyd are faring. That isn't the problem here.” Back to Lloyd, the dwarf’s arms were crossed once again. “What grieves me though is how my own son could not trust me.”

Lloyd raised his head with a snap. Feathers fluttered on the wind, one of them sneaking into the house to land shyly on the hardwood floors. “That's not-! I mean…” He groaned, taking a deep breath before starting again.

“You see this, right?” He gestured to his now stretched out wings, feeling every creak and motion they made. He couldn’t move them without feeling awkward, these extra limbs having no where to go and hide. “I've been going over and over how I was going to tell you about this! I, I had to talk to other people first. And I still don’t really understand how these wings happened or why it did, but…” His wings bristled without his meaning to, embarrassing him just then. “I just didn't want you to see me…different…”

Lloyd suddenly felt so small as he spoke. And his wings were still far too big.

It was a while before Dirk spoke again, with only the sounds of the boiling pot and the crackling fire taking up the wasted space between. “Lloyd, I thought I had taught you this already, but perhaps I need to drill it into your skull a little more.”

“Huh? What do you mea–Ow!”

Lloyd could only hear Colette gasp slightly as he felt the sharp sting. Knuckles rapped against his forehead, a small tap for Dirk, but a dwarf’s strength was never to be underestimated. Lloyd placed a hand over what he was sure was a bruise already forming. It hadn’t been a punch, yet it almost felt like one. “W-what was that for?”

“It's to get through your thick-headedness!” Dirk yelled. “Don't you get that you change in front of me every time I turn my head? One moment, you’re a little tyke barely reaching my knees, and the next, you’re a grown man who carries his swords with pride. Why would you having wings now make any true difference to me? For all I know of humans, I would have believed them sprouting wings was as natural as breathing air!”

Lloyd gawked. “But we don't… well…” He looked to Colette, who still had her own wings out, their light suffusing the inside of the home with that soft violet he had grown so used to. “I guess some of us do?”

At that, Dirk’s great hand reached to clap against Lloyd's shoulder, making him stumble, his right wing flapping to keep him balanced. But there was a supplication this gesture now, not frustration nor anger. “You’ve changed, and you will always keep changing. But no matter what, you are still my son.” A small smirk could just barely be seen through his dark beard, but Lloyd had learned to recognize it through the years—and it was there. “You are still my very own child that I raised in this home, regardless of blood.”

A still moment. His father's smile. Lloyd had heard similar words before.

Why had he forgotten that already?

“Now, will ya come in already? Colette's already beat ya to it! Which means she’ll have first dibs on the potluck surprise I'll be making.”

“Dwarven Potluck Surprise? It’s been so long!” Colette beamed—and Blippy meowed right after. "Ah, but I don’t think you should eat that.”

Colette had already gone inside Dirk’s home, perhaps unconsciously so. Her wings fluttered, motes of light drifting in the air as she realized her position. Perhaps it was because she had always been invited here that she had gone in so easily. “And sorry, I should put these away…”

Dirk waved his hand. “Nonsense. They give the house some much needed light anyways.” He patted Lloyd’s shoulder again, gentler this time. “Well? Will you be coming in or will I have to pull you by the ear like old times?”

Lloyd would have argued against that, if he had felt like himself. But he looked again at the doorway, at the markings of sawdust and hammer marks that had taken place. “You were making that bigger for me,” he said.

Dirk nodded. “No sense in having you squeeze your wings through the front door. The one on your balcony should be wide enough, so I’m trying to make it the same here. I might need to move one of the windows to do so, but it's been a while since I’ve done some real construction work. A good time to keep my skills from being too rusty!”

There was joy in his father’s voice as he spoke, even some excitement at the idea of building something for Lloyd. There was no half-heartedness, no worry, and nothing fearful. And with his dad being so close to one of his wings, barely raising a bushy eyebrow at their size, Lloyd realized then.

His vision got blurry all the sudden. He tried to hide it with a quick swipe of his arm, but it only seemed to make his tears fall down all the more. “Ah, dammit, s-sorry.”

Even so, he couldn’t stop crying.

Lloyd found himself leaning on his father’s arm who guided him inside. The shadow of his own wings fell over the dwarf, but Dirk didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Now, now, yer apologizing as much as Colette here. You must be starving, lad. Come in now.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t…believe it would be okay.” Harder to speak, just like when he was a little. He’d been such a crybaby back then. “I’m really sorry…”

“Hush now. Also mind the tools there, ya don’t want a wicked nail through your boot. We’ll have a bit of a draft while we eat but I’m sure it’s nothing you’re not already used to.” Dirk continued to speak gently, as he would do when Lloyd was little, crying over monsters in the dark, and nightmares he could put no name to.

Maybe it was the pain of getting his wings, the weight of them, the constant ache and everything else that had made him forget. He moved through the doorway, already wide enough that he barely needed to tuck in his wings as he stepped inside. The familiar scent of the simmering potluck, the soft light from Colette’s wings painting the walls, the tiny whines from Noishe as he settled himself in a corner, hoping for scraps to come his way.

Remember, this is your home.

Lloyd really had forgotten so many things.

But he remembered the stew tasting so, so warm.

The skies stayed cloudy throughout the coming days. Again, Dirk commented how it must have been Celsius’ doing, the icy summon spirit bringing forth a chill that the thick forests surrounding Iselia did not know—though not enough to hurt the trees or any of the plants in their garden, thankfully. “A customer of mine said the desert had its first snowfall,” he would later say. “It seems change is happening everywhere.”

Lloyd hadn’t been sure how long he would stay home this time. Typically, it would be a week or two at a time before he and Colette would set out on the road again. But as he seated himself on the balcony railing, his wings helping him keep balance, hearing his father put the finishing touches on the doorway below, he was finding it harder to leave.

That, and Blippy seemed to really like it here, too.

The white kitten was already growing so fast, barely fitting inside his basket anymore. So it only made sense that he would wander around the home, poking his head among the potted plants and snatching any dried fish that Dirk had stored. There had been some worries, from both Lloyd and Colette, about the river that wound around the house and if Blippy would fall in. Still, the river never ran fast and was barely over a foot deep, yet even so, Dirk had set about creating a little wooden fence, so that Blippy didn’t accidentally dip a paw in the water in curiosity.

Yet, maybe they had been worrying too much, because Blippy was far more interested in Noishe instead of some water.

Lloyd watched Blippy chase after Noishe across the grass. The small little flash of fur was bright, mewing all while Noishe whined and tried to hide in his stable. His dad turned his head occasionally towards the sight, letting out a chuckle or two before going back to his work.

“Looks like they’ve been getting along lately, don’t you think?”

Lloyd felt the brush of her fingers against his wings. The touch was so light, reminding him of the way she would press her fingers into his palm. He grinned, still watching both dog and cat rush across the ground. “Maybe. Either that or Noishe is great with kids.”

Colette looked down, her own soft laughter escaping her lips. He felt her fingers move from her wings to around his back—to the new openings in his jacket for his wings to comfortably hang from. It definitely took Lloyd some getting used to wearing it, but his dad’s tailoring skills were nearly as good as his crafting. The back clasps in his jacket could be tightened after he put it on, so that he no longer had to wrestle his wings through the makeshift openings he and Colette had tried to do on their own. No more tearing through the fabric, and no more worries that his jacket would simply fall off because of such new shapes.

“I’m glad he still kept these red,” Colette noted, and he could hear the playful tone in her voice. “Or would you have wanted to try a different color?”

“You know, now that I think about it…blue would look pretty great on me. Oh, or maybe purple!”

“Aw, purple is cute!” And before Lloyd could argue that purple could be more than just a cute color, she also moved to sit on the railing beside him, carefully brushing aside the clinging ivy and the soft dust of pollen that had draped over it.

She lost her balance almost immediately.

Lloyd quickly reached out and grabbed her arm. “Whoa, watch out! You can just take a chair if you wanna sit.”

“Hehe, sorry…” Colette gripped her free hand onto the railing now, but she didn’t move, instead continuing with, “But I think I know what to do about it.”

With that, Colette’s wings slowly slipped past her shoulders, their soft light slightly muted by the sunshine. He felt the tip of one of her wings tap his shoulder. Soon, she was sitting taller, more comfortably, her legs swinging from the railing. “There!”

She did it so easily, all with a wide smile. Her wings fluttered a little, reminding him of a butterfly’s own.

As the wind shifted the tree boughs near his balcony, carrying the scent of pine in the early spring, he kept his eyes on her. For so much of that first journey, Lloyd had seen her wings often. Easier to fight with, she had told him before, even when she worried how the others must have seen her. When she was numb to pain, her wings highlighted the scratches across her palms from gripping the chakrams too tightly. When she was locked away and could no longer speak, her wings were always at the ready, their once soft light seeming harsher in the dark, reflecting off eyes that never shifted or blinked.

Lloyd tapped his fingers against the railing, eyes shifting downward. “Hey, Colette. You don’t need to have your wings out for my sake.”

Between them, there were the sounds of Dirk’s hammer, the distant cry of a hawk overhead, and the continued whispering from the trees. The light of Colette’s wings stayed draped over the railing, over his hand where his Exsphere continued to rest on.

“I know you don’t want…what happened to me to happen to you too.” His wings furled inward slightly as he spoke. “So, it’s okay. Really. You don’t have to risk it.”

Colette had already suffered for her wings as they were. Why should he have to add more to that?

It was then he heard the railing creak from motion, watching as the familiar violet shade moved away from his hand. But before he could even start to feel a little lonely then, Colette had grabbed his hand—from the front.

“Remember when we used to fly together?” Colette asked him. She was flying before him, her wings gently beating, sending drifting motes of light to scatter across the earth. “Not just in Ozette… but before that? We should do it again. Let’s go and fly!”

Again, the rhythmic sound of the hammer, now followed by the gentle whines of a certain creature who must have noticed Colette hovering just above.

“Uh… did you just ignore what I was saying now?” Lloyd asked in turn, more out of befuddlement than anything else. He could usually follow Colette’s thoughts well, but still, she managed to surprise him now and then.

“Oh! No, I was listening!” Colette nodded, her face all serious to the point that her cheeks were a little puffy, a feature that Lloyd couldn’t help but find adorable. “And this is my answer!”

“So, you did ignore me.”

Colette grasped his hand close in both of her own, leaning in. Her blue irises held patterns in them, like constellations. “Lloyd, I want to use my wings with you again. I know I used to be a little worried before about it, when I told you about what Kratos mentioned to me. So, when it actually happened to you, I did try to stop using my wings. I got scared. I didn’t really understand.”

Her nearness made his heart race again, but he grasped her hand back with his. “That’s why I said it’s okay to not use yours. You shouldn’t have to because of me.”

“But what if I want to, Lloyd?” she countered, the rare hint of exasperation in her voice. “Can you believe me that I want to? Like when we used to fly up in the skies… When it felt like it was only us in the world. I know it’s selfish of me, but I liked that. I miss flying with you.”

Lloyd’s wings unfurled again, unconsciously done, but he didn’t shy away from it. He remembered seeing doves do the same, like the ones that would sometimes make their nests within a hidden corner of his rooftop.

“…I’m actually kinda nervous flying that high with these,” he admitted, clearing his throat. “I mean, I did fly to my balcony this morning! Like, from the ground…”

Colette’s fingers threaded between his own, soon reaching for his other hand. “Then you just need a little practice. Let’s get you more used to your new wings. I can teach you!”

Her excitement was getting more and more obvious, her serious face from before breaking into a grin. She gently tugged him forward, and all Lloyd could do was let her. His wings were already opening, catching the wind, feeling the way it shifted around his feathers.

“Heh, so should I call you Professor Colette, then?” he teased, just as he felt himself leave the railing. “Or, I guess it would be Professor Brunel…”

“Hm, but I like hearing you say my name, so keep the Colette part!” And with a little triumphant pull, she held Lloyd’s hands as they both hovered in the air just before his balcony, their wings beating in sync.

Lloyd gazed at her, at her wings painted against the cloudy skies, like the fragments of a stained-glass window. He swallowed a small lump in his throat, hoping it didn’t make his flight a bit unsteady. But flying had always been like this, hadn’t it? To trust yourself to not freefall through the air, to leave the stability of the ground for the uneasiness of the air.

It was exciting, when he thought about it.

“So, Professor Colette, I always wondered… How come you got so good at flying right away when you got your wings? Even when I had my old ones, I still had trouble with them.”

Colette seemed surprised by the question. Her wings beat rapidly in the air as she thought of her answer. “Hm… maybe it’s just part of my luck?”

“Haha, what? That’s not how luck works!” Lloyd tilted his head, his legs hanging down, still unconsciously searching for a floor to stand on. “I think?

“Well, I am very lucky.” She pulled him further up into the air, giggling. “Maybe my luck with flying will rub off on you!”

And she was quick, already guiding him on a flight path only she seemed to know. But she didn’t forget to wave down to Dirk below, calling out to him with a clear voice. “We’re just going out, Mr. Dirk! We’ll be back before dinner!”

“Ah, leaving me your pet to take care of, eh?” But little Blippy was already being stroked by Dirk’s great hand as he took a break from his work. The cat stared ahead, eyes wide as it craned its head up towards a flying Lloyd and Colette. Still, it didn’t reach out to them. It was very content to stay and be petted by a well-knowing hand. “Stay safe, you two!”

From the height of his balcony, his father’s shape didn’t look that much different than on ground level. But with flight came the distance, came the eventual loss of detail, until even Dirk’s beard could barely be seen. It was similar when flying atop a Rheaird, except Lloyd could turn in the air, and keep holding onto Colette’s hand, watching the trail of stardust from her wings float all around. Maybe with enough of it, her light could even make his own wings shine.

At some point during the day, the clouds finally began to part—but Lloyd barely noticed. He was too busy keeping his eyes on Colette, and how her wings moved with all the ease that he wished he had.

The initial flight was shaky for him. He nearly lost his balance numerous times, and his wings would grow tired. They were no longer just made of light, but of muscle and bone. He had to rest them occasionally, stopping at a hill outcropping or a tree branch, with Colette waiting beside him until he was ready to fly once more.

“Feel like I’m not making this as fun as it used to be…” he said with a small laugh.

But Colette would only shake her head, the light from her wings darkening her hair. “It’s always fun with you, Lloyd.”

And then, she would take his hand to fly off again, over the forest he had known so well since he was a kid, watching the twisting rivers that cut through hills, and the dirt roads that wound down cliffs past an abandoned ranch, until they would reach the gates of Iselia. But they were so high up in the sky, they might have been mistaken for large birds if anyone saw them. Or at least, Lloyd was hoping for that.

He quickly identified the roof that belonged Colette’s house, spotting the well beside it, and the small backyard where they would both play swords together when they were young. Another quick glance to the right, and he thought he recognized Phaidra walking past the front door, her ash blonde hair catching the dim light of the setting sun.

Lloyd knew he’d have to see them too, with his new wings. He’d have to see the entire village, sporting the same wings as the angel that had come down on that day of the Oracle. So, he felt some relief as they flew farther past the village, Colette’s hand still holding fast to his.

But, that was also when he started to question. “Uh, where are we going anyway?”

Colette looked back at him, her hair flying about her in a golden array. “Just a little further up. How do your wings feel?”

“Eh, still kinda tired? But I guess they don’t ache as much.” So he flew with some trepidation, too anxious to really make any careless dives or twists in the air like he once used to.

His wings really did have an annoying habit of flying into things if he wasn’t careful enough, so he was little relieved they had left the forest for more open spaces. It wasn’t like before, where his wings of light could disperse whenever he felt like it. He couldn’t just land on the bough of a tree, sitting against the bark when he felt tired. Now he had to calculate just how much space his wings needed, how they would make it difficult for him to just lay back unless he folded them up properly. (Which also made it a bit hard to sleep in general!)

Then, as he flapped his wings a little hard, trying to catch the air, he winced. And with that came a little groan of frustration.

Colette noticed. “Oh, again?”

“Ugh, yeah…” He tried turning his neck but had no real luck. “These ribbons just keep getting in the way now!”

“Don’t worry, we’re almost there!”

Lloyd could barely question her what she meant exactly, his neck cricking from his ribbons restricting his movement. He could feel every flap of his wings only making it worse, until Colette guided him to land on somewhat uneven ground.

“Here, let me look.” Colette quickly moved behind him, and soon he felt her hands move aside those ribbons from his mass of feathers, a careful unwinding of thin fabric from his wingspan. “This left one really held on!”

Lloyd sighed, his shoulders drooping. “I think I’m gonna have to tell dad about getting rid of these. I can’t fly right if these ribbons keep tangling up in my wings!”

Colette straightened out the white ribbons, her fingers smoothing out wrinkles. “I think it would work if they were shorter.”

“No way, they’d just look kind of dumb if they were short.”

As he felt her still holding onto his ribbons, he looked straight ahead. In the distance, he saw the ocean, hearing the crashing of waves against a rocky shore. The sun, he finally noticed, was already going down, sinking into the ocean as the sky overhead darkened. Lloyd angled his head around, realizing just where exactly they were both standing on. He caught a glimpse of the carved opening that had been made at the top of the stone structure, from where the light of the Oracle had shone so brightly all that time ago.

The Iselia Temple? Why did she bring me here?

But Colette still seemed to be busy with his ribbons, even long after she had untangled them. She already spoke before he could ask her. “What if we tied it up?”

Lloyd immediately knew what she meant. He hesitated. “I don’t know about that…”

“But you did it for me!” Colette was doing her best to hide away her grin as she guided him to stand on one of the curved outcroppings of the temple, many of the stones enveloped by moss. She stayed behind him, straightening out those ribbons even more. “Remember, your ribbons got tangled up in my hair when I wore your outfit that one time.”

“That’s different!”

“How so?”

“Hair and wings aren’t exactly the same…” But he already felt her tugging on them, and the motion of it was nice. Almost relaxing, such as when she brushed his wings, careful with his feathers.

“Fine,”he relented. “If you really want to—”

“Oh, whoops,” Colette said with a giggle. “I was already doing it. Sorry!”

“Huh?!” Lloyd reached back around his collar, his wrist brushing against his wing. But his fingers found the knot that was made, along with the little bow that Colette had tied up nicely with his white ribbons.

“Now they won’t get in the way. Also, they look cute!”

Well, he knew he had to admit it then, especially once he tested a small beat of his wings then. “Huh, it is a lot better now! …I’m gonna need to do this for my other jackets.”

“Maybe we can have each one a different style!” Colette suggested. “I can make your Tuesday jacket have a more braid-like ribbon.”

“You sure you didn’t already do that?”

But Colette just poked out her tongue at him as a tease as she stood next to him again. Lloyd looked at how the night sky was seen through her wings, sparkling more than they ever did on their own. It took him a second to realize that it was already nighttime—had they really flown all afternoon?

“How come you wanted to come here?” he asked her. He caught sight of the crumbling stairs that led to the temple, the flagstones long overtaken by the earth. It seemed even more in disrepair, for probably ever since Colette left, no one else besides them had gone back to this holy place of Cruxis worship. Now it only crumbled, along with everything else of the old religion.

“The stars are always so clear by the temple,” she said, craning her neck upwards. “Not as well as by your house, but it’s always very dark here, so the stars shine brighter than they do when in Iselia.”

In the sky, there were patterns—different ones now, with the reunification of the worlds. How often had Colette had to stay late at the temple, counting the stars from the windows? How often had he done the same from his house, waiting until he could go back to Iselia again to see her?

Lloyd was still looking at her when he saw something then—like a trail of starlight that connected the span of her wings, from the top-most left to the bottom. He watched its travel, a movement so fast across her expanse.

“A shooting star?” Colette said, looking over in the same direction. “I wonder… what would I wish for now…?”

Lloyd knew what he once would have wished for.

When his wings had ached, had been covered in blood and made him hate the very thought of moving, he would have wished for them to be gone. He would have wished he had done things differently. He would have wished he hadn’t put Colette through so much trouble, just to care for him and his stupid mistakes.

In the night, he saw how his right wing moved to circle around Colette. A large wingspan, the feathers pulled at by the ocean breeze. They were the same color as the kitten he had dove in to rescue from the river. Whatever reason his wings had decided to change just then, he still couldn’t say. That same kitten was probably resting in his father’s lap, who mostly likely was still waiting for him and Colette to return home.

No wishes came to his head, but something else did.

Lloyd took Colette’s hand. “Fly with me.”

Colette barely had a moment before Lloyd’s wings outstretched, wider than before. Only once had he ever felt this confident with them—back when they had been of light for the very first time, and he flew off to the skies with no hesitation.

“Come on!” Grinning wide, he urged Colette to follow, rising high above, watching as her wings beat rapidly to match his speed.

“Lloyd!” she called back with a laugh. “Are you okay to fly this high up?”

High enough that even the temple seemed small, high enough that it felt like they were the only two left in the entire world.

Their flight path was of curves, and sudden dives, and over the ocean currents that made laughter break out between them. But still, he guided her higher, just enough so that he felt nothing else could be better. They finally stopped, uplifted by the winds, the twin moons shining down on them. They made the night less dark, surrounded by the stars that were so numerous, like an endless sea.

Stopping in mid-flight, he moved his hands from hers, to wrap around her waist and bring her close in an embrace. Just a few days before, he would have felt too awkward to do this, too unbalanced, too much of a mess to give her what she tried to give to him.

His wings beat softly to keep them up. Even if Colette’s wings were snuffed out at that very moment, he wouldn’t let go.

“Colette, I’m sorry I couldn’t say it back then when you kissed me.”

He felt the heat rise in her face, warm against his cheek. He watched it brighten as he moved back to look at her, her hair framed by her wings and the stars. “Ah, that was… I just did it without asking you—”

“I love you, too.”

Maybe it was cheesy to say it here, up in the skies, but he wanted a place where only Colette would hear him, where she couldn’t mistake it for anything else.

“I’ve always loved you, but I only really got it back at the Tree. It takes me so long to get anything. It’s kinda pathetic, huh? And even when I finally realized, it took me even longer to just say it. I kept you waiting this whole time, even after you told me. I’m sorry. I don’t want to keep doing that to you. I love you, Colette. I love you.”

Her kiss had been her way of telling him, the most obvious thing that even the densest person would have picked up on. He always made so much trouble for Colette.

She lowered her eyes, but her hands fidgeted. Fingers moved to slide up his collar, to thread across his hair. “Then…can you make it up to me?”

He moved closer, his forehead pressed against hers as they both floated lazily through the sky. “Yeah. What is it?”

“Can you kiss me back?”

Was it as far back as Flanoir, as far back as on his balcony before she would leave for her journey, when he first wanted to kiss her? He had loved her then, longer than he could put a single memory to it. So many times, so many moments, but it had been up to Colette to guide him. The wanting flooded through him. He could hardly even speak anymore.

Still, when Lloyd pressed his lips to hers, tasting that familiar sweetness from before, hearing the soft sounds Colette made against him, he finally felt he did something right for once in so long.

Flying had never before felt so wonderful.

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #colloydweek2023 #dirk #fanfiction #multi chapter

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