#christi's slutty thoughts
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sat here forcing my dad to watch rafe edits rn (he absolutely hates my type in men)
him rn (he said he's too violent and I need to pick men in beige suits who work in accounting..)
#christi's slutty thoughts#christi's posts#christi's shit posts#christi rambles#i luv rafe#lust444men⋆ ˚ ᡣ𐭩 /ᐠ ˕ マ#rafe cameron smut
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Father Paul NSFT Alphabet Headcanons
A/N: uh oh! At long last, here I come like a Horny Luther nailing my slutty slutty manifesto to the door of St. Patricks. 18+ only on this one of course. And it's a long read (we're over 5k! This is the longest one of these I've ever done!) So with all that said, have fun y'all, and enjoy!
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after)
He is just… so so SO soft. Cannot stress that enough (really I have written some soft boys before but John may have them all genuinely beat). Afterwards he gets really talkative. His mind reeling from all the love he’s experiencing- physical, emotional, spiritual even, too- because that’s the thing; he’s convinced God must have had a hand in this to bring him here- to you, to this love that he shares with you. It has purpose and reason to him because it’s so overwhelming body and soul how can it not be from the Divine? This gift from God to him- his own little miracle? And he has to tell you about it. Every thought. Everything he feels when he holds you and kisses you and makes love with you (because that’s what it really is in his eyes- never anything less, not to him). He needs you to know what you make him feel. And not just show you but tell you, with all the words he can possibly conjure. As often as he possibly can. Because he knows you must feel just as conflicted about all of this as he does- whether you share his faith or not- because of what it means to him to go against his vows- vows that still mean much to him even still, and the forbidden nature of it all- all the ramifications it could have. But he will tell you everything. Child-like in his sincerity, firm in his reassurances. Complete in his honesty, emotion without the veneer of faith to hinder the telling of the truth of his feelings for you. And he will take every opportunity to remind you of that.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
This man is way too modest to have a favorite body part. Doesn’t really view his physical body as something to be proud of in any way like he’s pretty neutral. (If you ask me though??? It’s those eyes, those lips and that hair like god damn.) He feels very similar when it comes to others bodies as well- bodies are simply neutral- a vessel for the soul which is really the thing that matters- and perhaps the thing he is drawn to the most. But if he’s honest? It’s smiles and laughter that he’s attracted to. Yes he knows it’s cheesy, but it’s the truth. To him the sight and sound of joy on someone’s lips is the most beautiful, sacred, holy thing in the world. And yours? Even more so. And call it a bit of hubris on his part- but he feels a special sort of joy when he knows he’s the one who put it on your face.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
If you thought his fascination with blood is intense… it’s tenfold for cum. Both his and yours. It’s something you should’ve expected but it’ll surprise you nonetheless when he drinks of you like a forbidden sacrament in and of yourself- of your body, of your spirit, even. Like a man so thirsty he’s willing to drown to quench it. He tastes of himself too in much the same way- curling his fingers around rivulets of seed after he’s finished inside of you, totally captivated by how the essence of him mixes with yours in this the holiest of unions. And how can he not help but reach his tongue out to taste, and then a little more, and then swallowing down his fingers perhaps selfishly but he cannot help but savor the taste of you together dancing in bittersweet harmony on his tongue. A lover’s communion- and you the chief Saint among them. And he shares with you and you alone.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Honey, you ARE the dirty secret if it’s him. I mean jesus no two ways about it because you have to be. He has vows- for which he’d no doubt lose his standing with not just the church but with the community itself- perhaps forgiven in the eyes of true christians among them but even then he’s wary of how they’d react if he stepped down. But the thing is it’s not so much the finding out that he’s worried about- if he had to, if you wanted him as much as he wanted to be with you, he would happily leave priesthood behind for good for you. That’s not the problem for him. The problem is that he knows exactly the kind of persecution you would face should anyone ever find out before he had a chance to make a more graceful exit. He knows they wouldn’t blame him so much- the man of the cloth- for this sin, no, not completely. His consent or not he would most likely come out of it scott free- albeit out of a steady income. But you? They’d tear you apart- and, deep down, he knows it’s Bev Keane who would lead that crusade. The hellfire that would rain down from that woman alone would be enough to drive you off the island or worse. And though he never wants to think the worst of one of his flock- wants to have faith that God would carry you through a difficult situation like this should it ever come to pass- there is a part of him that knows deep in his heart how quickly she would act and turn her ire onto you if she ever so much as caught a breeze of your affair- and being that Crockett is such a small and close knit community you wouldn’t be able to escape it. He doesn’t want to subject you to that and will try to prevent it at any cost. Even if it means he won’t be able to show his love for you openly. Even if it means meeting at odd hours under the cover of night. He has to keep you safe from all of that above all else.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
His experience is… scant at best. He has desires, yes. For which he ought to feel ashamed and find repentance for. But the thing is… he never really felt like they were sins in and of themselves. If experience has taught him anything, this is kindof true of most things that are sinful. Because when he did feel the more carnal desires flaunt their temptations to him in his youth (as he does now again, with you) there was always love attached to it- a strong love for a very soul that he finds much harder to shake. He has a lot of love in him- but enough of it to actually engage in it with the person he feels so deeply for is a rare thing for him. So, as far as experience goes, you won’t be wanting for passion with him at the very least, or a willingness to explore the depths of pleasure and love with you. But he’d need guidance for sure for any further exploration of your body and his outside of basic vanilla sex (at which, he is not half bad as a base line). He’s more than up for it though. Especially if it’s with you.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
He’s a missionary man through and through (pun intended). At least he is at first. He just really loves the intimacy of it. Being face to face with you, able to kiss you and hold you and take your hand in his through it all. That’s really important to him. So if you do experiment with other positions with him, keep in mind being able to do at least one of the three because he absolutely cannot live without them. Regardless, you will never feel short on lustful but loving gazes, passionate kisses, hands clasped tightly in his- almost like a prayer- in fact more than a prayer to him but a comfort and a holiness of union that none of scripture can seem to define adequately enough for him because they all fall short of what he feels when he’s with you.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He’s so serious- maybe a little too much, at first. Almost stiff, even because of how foreign everything is to him- not in a true virginal sense (of course not), but because of how long it’s been since he’s done this, and because of how new everything seems with you -hell, how new some things that he experiences with you actually are. And of course there’s an element of guilt that plays into the stiffness. Always an impulse to try to resist for the sake of God for the sake of his vows… though in all honesty and truth if he resists it’s for your sake, really. Because as much as he loves you and as much as you might want this and as much as he might want this and you in turn he still doesn’t want you to be hurt by it or by what might come of it. But when he gives in, finally, he’s giddy. Overwhelmingly so. Not only with the pleasure of it all but the love- the freedom he feels when he’s with you. And the sheer joy that he feels just being in your presence- to speak nothing of how intense that joy is when he’s joined with you in the most ancient and primal, sacred tradition man has ever known. He has a hard time holding back how happy he is about you and what he feels with you sometimes (much to his detriment, guilt but more overwhelmingly fear of ruination cropping up sometimes like the serpent of Eden hissing with doubt), but when he’s alone with you he shows no restraint in smiling with you laughing with you as you touch and hold and kiss each other, pulling off each other’s clothes like giddy teenagers. He loves having that with you. More than anything.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Oh yeah. Carpet matches the drapes all right. Thick dark curlies (well- his are more wavy than curly I guess) on this man for sure. Not like well groomed or anything (what need does a man of the cloth have for that kind of vanity?) But still, oh so dark and oh so pretty regardless. Doesn’t have much anywhere else though. Oddly sparse for a man with hair as dark as his honestly- perhaps the hint of a happy trail just below his navel but nothing more.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
With Father Paul the romance is sort of inherent in everything he does. He’s a romantic, truly. At the heart of him and at the heart of everything he does is romance and love for everyone and everything. But you??? You are the height of it. The height of good things. For him. For everyone around you. For his whole world you are easily the best thing in it. And heaven help him but he will take every opportunity to show that to you salvation be damned because you have to know in no uncertain terms how deeply he loves you. In every touch- every loving caress, every graze of his fingers over yours in public when he cannot display any of this but needs to touch you anyway. In every word from him, too, every salacious exchange in the confessional, every covert whisper in your ear after Mass as the congregation walks out of church with promise of passion unfathomable when all the rest of them have gone for the day. You will know.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
It is so rare that he feels this kind of urge. He’s very good at repressing it most of the time. But with someone like you in his life that impulse becomes more and more difficult to deny by the day. He will lie awake at night in his bed in the rectory and recite all manner of Hail Mary’s and Beatitudes just to gain some peace- to get his mind off you and off everything you mean to him. But there always comes a boiling point. A moment of sink or swim. Where he simply can’t stop his hand from wandering under his pyjamas. Even reciting his praises to the lord he cannot deny what his living flesh needs and it needs relief of some kind or he may very well lose his mind. And it isn’t enough. He knows the one thing he really needs is you- just to be with you. But for what he cannot have in the moment he will make do simply with the thought of you. The idea of every loving caress on your skin- the devotion he wishes to show you as he shows it to God with every prayer, every supplication and sermon, and he feels- as sinful as this is to Him, that it is as good as giving his praise to you as it gets, because the very thought of you is so divine it sullies his hand and his sheets and leaves him breathless, and at peace at last. His God may not be able to forgive him for that. But, perhaps, you can.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
“Kink? Like what you get in your neck when you’ve bowed your head to pray too long?”
(Yeah I know. Deep breaths y’all.)
So this sweet naive man is clueless and has no idea what his kinks are. Like he’s just not aware of them or that they exist. Not to say he doesn’t have them but he just… doesn’t know what they are. Not until they reveal themselves to him as his relationship with you deepens.
So then what are they?
Well, to start, he doesn’t mind it when you take control. Not to dominate him, necessarily, but when you guide him for your ultimate pleasure (and his, honestly), and he has nothing to do but supplicate himself to your every whim? He loves that. And he’s very good for you. So patient. Though he will plead to his God and to you for sweet release he will listen with bended ear to your every instruction and follow to the letter. Hell, when his vampirism is in full swing he may even beg you to bind him lest he lose control and lunge for you. And wouldn’t mind you sodomizing him (either be it by strap or cock). Truly. Even though Bev fucking Keane would have a heart attack and thrust upon him the whole wrath of God if she ever found out you do this to him, he can’t deny how loving it feels coming from you and it makes him question whether this truly merits the terrible reputation this hedonistic act has earned. In this vein if he is put in a position where he is forced to choose between blaspheming with you and choosing the road to his higher power there’s a fairly good chance he’ll forgo salvation and seek repentance later to have his moments with you. That means whether it be taking you on the Altar like making love to you as if it were a ritual of old, in the name of union purer than the Lamb of God himself he’ll do it. In the vestibule, the confessional, over the pulpit. It should feel wrong to make love in a house of God, but if God is all knowing and all loving and knows all of the love he has for you then how can He not appreciate the love displayed before Him in His own house? Therefore you both can have a little blasphemy as a treat. A real loving God wouldn’t mind. And let's not forget praise and worship either. He gives it so freely, so openly, for the way you kiss him, the way your body moves against him when he tells you how good you make him feel, and he will treat you- body and soul- as though you by some grace were yourself a saint- made to be blessed and kept by the worship of his lips and his hands- his body and soul given freely over to you and you alone. But when the tables are turned on him? And you’re the one telling him how good he feels inside you and how good he is for you? There’s absolutely nothing that makes his soul melt and his cock twitch to hardness more than that. Nothing in the world affirms his weary soul more-makes him feel more on equal ground and yet so holy than exchanging praise with you.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
You know I know he’d probably prefer to keep things to the bedroom as much as possible, but I think he could see the appeal of sneaking off into the confession booth to do the deed too. It has everything. Privacy. Close quarters so no option other than to cling to one another and get handsy. Almost makes him feel like a horny teenager again -the one he never really was to begin with and therefore never got to be. Another hot spot tends to be the Vestry- where he will happily make room to lift you onto the table and take you besides the incense and cruets and vials of holy water freshly blessed and you among these sacred artifacts like you belong with them.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
His biggest turn-on is kindness. Oh he knows it’s such a cliche non-answer but honestly… He’s got a big thing about compassion. It’s what he’s all about himself. There’s a lot of courage and wisdom required to look upon the world and the people in it without judgement and more importantly without fear (the fear part in particular is something he still has so much trouble grappling with)- and there’s something that draws him to these kinds of people. To people who have no doubt seen so much suffering of their own and still manage to come out of it with a sense of compassion to not look at the world altogether too jaded??? That’s miraculous to him. Even if they’re not technically in any kind of state of grace in the eyes of God- even if they don’t share the faith that he has he loves people like that the most.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He wouldn’t scare you. That’s the thing about him- he wouldn’t want to scare you. He can’t say he won’t hurt you- and sure he doesn’t want to, but especially if he takes his “communion” with you and you let him… it’s not a guarantee. He knows and so do you. It’s something he cannot change. But he doesn’t want you to fear him. For any reason. Not for his desires and not for his anger in the rare instances it shows itself (I mean- I can never see him getting angry directly at you. He’s too patient- and it is extremely hard to wear it thin enough for you of all people to anger him, and I don’t think he’s capable of viperous words directed specifically towards anyone it’s just not in his heart and not on his mind and he’ll never berate or degrade not like that and certainly not you. This is not to say he’ll hold back his emotions when he’s with you. He won’t. Not even the ones he finds unsavory. But he’ll never direct them at you. Never.) Outside of that he’s not a fan of small-mindedness. A difference of opinion or faith from him he can accept or at the very minimum tolerate, and he even encourages it in others- there’s so much he is willing to accept and enjoys the infinite variety of the world. But cruelty, cherry-picking… for all the suffering in the world to find ways to be cruel to others… that he just can’t condone.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
John is a giver by nature. It’s one of the things about the calling to God that he feels most compelled by. He wants to give all he has. His comfort, his love, all acts of God moving through him to help as many as he can in this life. And it’s this same selflessness that draws him between your legs every single time. Never a thought for himself or the pleasure he could gain from a union with you- but for your every sigh, your every enraptured moan as he licks and sucks and drinks of you, and he would spend his whole life giving this to you because how on earth can your pleasure be a sin? It can’t. And he’ll come back to do it again and again as devout as he is to God for you are heaven on earth to him and that is worth blessing and keeping. And if you want to give it back to him well, that might be a bit of a challenge. He’s too humble you’d have to restrain him to get him to accept any pleasure for himself but he will, eventually he will. But his preference is pretty clearly going down on you rather than the other way around.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It’s kindof hard to predict exactly how fast or slow he’s going to go at any given time when you make love, but let me say that generally speaking his pacing… well, it drips of passion. Every part of it. From the way he rolls his hips against you, cock reaching deep- and this is the thing he doesn’t just fill you with him- oh no. Every stroke makes you feel… whole. Nourished body and soul on a level so primal and good. He will pick up speed of course, no doubt, when he begins to reach that heavenly peak he’s searching for- or do so when he feels you so close to climax yourself. Or perhaps it varies depending on how much time you have to spend in his embrace or him in yours- how fast or how slow he takes it. But it’s never not filled with passion, never not filled with love. No matter what.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Oh he’s a big fan. He’ll never admit it but he does find it kind of thrilling- there’s a certain level of desperation that comes with trying to make love quickly that really turns him on actually. There’s a smidge of the thrill of being caught thrown in there as well. Of course he doesn’t really want that to happen and will probably try to ensure that it won’t- even though locking closed doors on Crockett Island is a thing in and of itself that might rouse suspicion and speculation especially among the Parish gossips (and, of course, to the nosiest Karen among them)… but the thought that anyone could just find you two and bear witness- it’s a bit of a turn on he’ll admit. For that reason he will try to abstain from it as much as possible, but sometimes just being around you he can’t help himself either and it makes it very difficult to not want to take you by the waist and kiss you deep.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Experiment? Oh hell yes. Take risks? Not so much. He’s definitely not so naive that the birds and the bees are totally beyond him, but he is completely clueless and oblivious about so much stuff outside the Adam and Eve basics that he honestly wouldn’t even know where to begin asking you if he wanted to try something more adventurous. Most of the time you’ll be approaching him with the ideas on where to take things sexually. Maybe when he gets a little more educated on things he might start approaching you with his own ideas but not before. He’s as good a student as he is a teacher and preacher still and he will happily defer to your wisdom in matters such as these and take it to heart as Gospel.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Well, before his transformation and when he was younger he had a fair reserve- nothing special, really, not much more than one round in him but he could make it last. But after receiving the blessing from the angel... it’s almost terrifying to him how much his vitality- no his virility itself has increased since. He could stay inside you for hours if you wanted. He could give you all he has to offer of himself again and again if you asked it of him and not tire completely. Truthfully, he wonders whether it’s even the sacrament at all that makes him able to come back again and again- he wonders if it’s simply the power you have over him that makes him capable of it. He’ll never know for sure but there’s certainly one of these he wants to believe above the other and it makes his heart swell thinking of how beautiful that’d be if true.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Nope. Naturally he himself doesn’t own any. And if you have some and show them to him he will be so, so flustered just LOOKING at them knowing what purpose they serve- what they do to you- for you. But he’s fascinated by them for sure. Might even pick one up and turn it over in his hands, inspecting it like he’s holding some ancient holy relic. And I tell you this- he won’t be opposed to using them while you’re together. Pleasure is paramount above all, right? And he’d like to learn how to use them on you properly. Might need to give him a few demonstrations, but he’s an eager student that’s for sure.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He’s not much of a tease at all. He already spends so many- too many- of his days gazing across what feels like a whole sea of pews at you and yearning to just tear off his collar and chasuble to sit with you, hold your hand, kiss you-properly. Like he should and desperately wants to do. (hell this probably applies whether you actually attend mass or not). He won’t waste even a second when he’s alone with you at last to show you the affection he can’t give you openly. To hold you and kiss you and touch you the way he aches for.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Oh, he is vocal. He’s always painfully on a hair trigger of his throat issuing moans of their own accord and heaven help him it only gets worse as the throes of passion ensue. And they are nothing but softness. You wouldn’t think he could get any more softly spoken than he already is, but he can and he will. His moans start short, sweet, warm little mewls of pleasure at every kiss, every brush of your skin against his, burning louder the more intimate it becomes. Barely whispers that leave his lips like thanks and praise. And he sounds so desperate too- so wanton in these passions that every one of them sounds like penance- but they’re not desperate pleas to God- no. The most holy thing he could possibly pray to in those moments is right in front of him. If there’s anyone he’s seeking absolution from in those moments it’s you.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He says blessings when you make love. Blessings. You’d think nothing but prayers would fall from his lips whenever he makes love to you- desperately penitent to a wrathful God, but no. Because his love for you is true. Honest. And a love as pure as that isn’t a sin. Never has been- not to him. And hell, he’s ordained. If any union deserves the blessings that only he has the power to truly bestow its yours- it’s you. For all of God’s Gifts he’s seen and has been given… you are easily the most special of all of these to him. You deserve them. And he will give them freely to you when he ascends to new heights between your thighs.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Ah yes. Lets see what kind of consecrated flesh he’s got hangin’ around in those skinny skinny jeans of his.
First thing you have to know is that that outline you see whenever he spreads his legs in his seat doesn’t lie. He’s a bit above average as far as most men go (this is sort of true of all aspects of him, but I digress), maybe 6 inches from what you can clearly see- and it’s quite thick too (you might feel decieved thinking a contributor to this thickness is his balls- which is not an assumption entirely incorrectly made, but the meat of the matter is never one to be upstaged). Which is why it will inevitably surprise you when you’re finally intimate with him and learn, from feeling him hard beneath you that what you’ve seen isn’t exactly all that you get. He grows. About an inch, maybe more. And it happens fast because of how sensitive he is- and god is he sensitive- twitching at damn near every touch of your fingers alone. And god when he’s inside you? Curved the right amount to hit the best spots, a stretch, still, but not uncomfortably so. The feeling of him is beyond just simply filling, fulfilled. You feel whole. Complete with him there nestled inside you. And he will no doubt make mention of how you feel entirely the same way to him.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
It sort of fluxuates. I mean he was pretty celibate for most of his life (granted, not completely, but still). It’s not especially high on average. The thing is that when he falls for someone he falls very hard, and that’s when the gears really start going for him. Honestly he’d probably label himself as demisexual if he had any idea what that meant. But when it’s on a high streak- as it is with you, it can get difficult to control. And he has little tells to that effect- if you know how to look for them. The most prominent one being the bob of his adams apple stuttering when he tries to speak- the way he tries to turn in a vague attempt to resist temptation but still his eyes cannot seem to pry their warm gaze from you. It no doubt happens sometimes during service. He can smile and speak it off well enough but you will no doubt know that it’s for you.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Not very quickly at all. He doesn’t find he tires too easily much at all these days, and he thinks his resurrection might have something to do with that. He spent so much of his life asleep before. Especially towards the end -set adrift in his own ailing mind and so scattered and confused to the current of his life- the sorrows and the joys but overwhelmingly the storms of regret with waves so great they would sweep him under and threaten to drown him when they crashed...
But then he was given this miracle of a second chance at life, made young and new again - and with it there’s you entering his life like a new great wave upon him sudden and swift and he wonders if it will violently overtake him too- like all the other opportunities for love he’s wasted before. But then you don’t. And out of that violence he finds himself not overwhelmed by it but gently lifted up from the storm, and set tenderly at last on a sandy shore- the first touch of solid ground at last after so many years with not a scrap of land in sight. And you there with him on it… How could he possibly sleep through that- through small moments with you in the night laying beside you holding you in his arms, hands clasped, brushing your hair out of your face to look at you better as you rest peacefully, naked flesh against his own. He’ll join you eventually. He always does. He must and his body longs for it, but his spirit needs to stay with you. Every moment of love truly savored. He won’t make the mistake of letting those moments pass him by. Never again.
#FINALLY!!!!!#midnight mass#father paul#john pruitt#father paul x reader#john pruitt x reader#apologies for the wait and the length of this everybody whew it's a lot but hopefully worth it!!!#I'll reblog again with the tag list in a bit y'all hang tight#just want to make sure this gets in the tag lmao
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Natalieeeeee💕💕💕💕💕 Congratulations on 3K again🎉🎉🎉😘😘😘😘 I spun the horny wheels and I got
Kink: Hickey/Biting & Marking fetish
Character: Colin Shea
Prompt: “I want you to walk in front of me so I can see your ass.” & “I want it to hurt.”
Akdbeudhchss Take your time Queen!!!! I'm very excitedddd😆😆😆🙈🙈🙈💕💕 and this is such a fun idea!!!!
Oh my god Christy!!!! Some adorable Colin being a little subby? Yes please!!
Smut (light dom/sub aspects, m receiving oral sex, anal play, cum play) no minors!!!!
tagging @wayward-blonde because I know she’s been dying for some Colin smut!
You might have had too many shots.
Going out with Colin and the band was always a good time. His friends and your friends got along great, and the group dynamic always served to make the awkwardness you two felt after sleeping together feel a little less prominent.
Except when you got drunk. Which you were. And all you wanted was to devour that slutty himbo until he couldn’t remember his own name (because whiskey really brought out your dom side).
“More drinks, or should we close out and hit a club?” Colin was only a little tipsy, but he had seen the way you’d been eyeing him and it was making him slightly nervous.
Everyone voted for one more round and then the club, so you and Colin started staggering towards the bar to order more cocktails.
“Jesus Col, who gave you the right to look that fucking good in those jeans?” Yeah, the whiskey was definitely hitting you hard, but whatever. “I want you to walk in front of me so I can see your ass.”
“Y/N, fuck!” You had maneuvered behind him and were now gripping his ass while you buried your face in his neck, nipping softly as the curve of his shoulder before rolling his earlobe through your teeth. “Honey, shit, you really want to do this right now?”
“Yeah.” You wrapped your arm around him so you could grab the bulge at the front of his pants. “Baby, c’mon, I just wanna suck that pretty cock of yours.”
“Ok, damn, let’s go to the bathroom.” He somehow managed to wind an arm around your waist and started to guide you away from the bar, but your lips were still on his neck and it was making it hard for him to concentrate on walking.
The two of you stumbled into the private bathroom and as soon as the lock clicked you were slamming him against the door and sinking your teeth into his neck while you worked at undoing his fly. Those noises he was making for you had you practically soaking through your panties as you started licking and biting and sucking your way down his torso.
“Ow, baby, Jesus!” You were finally on your knees in front of him and sucked a deep bruise against his hip before yanking his boxer briefs down and digging your teeth into his thigh. “You trying to eat me? I mean, it’s ok, I kinda want it to hurt.”
“I just think,” you continued biting and mouthing at his thighs and hips while staring at him through your lashes. “You look even prettier,” your mouth was so close to his cock, it was killing him. “With my marks all over you.”
He may have been thinking about answering you, but then your lips were wrapped around his tip and every thought flew out of his brain. The moan that fell from his lips was obscene when you hummed around him, your tongue swirling around him before you took him even deeper and his head thumped back against the door.
Somehow, you managed to shuffle even closer to him, your hands rubbing over his thighs before curling around his hips and gripping his ass while you swallowed him down your throat. Colin yelped when you gave him a smack after licking a thick stripe up his cock and gulping down air then drawing him into your mouth again.
“Oh, fuck, honey!” His hips jolted into your face when you slid your hand between his cheeks, slowly teasing your fingers over his pretty hole while you suckled gently at his tip. “Ah, oh my god!”
“Wou deed to wewax.” Your words were still muffled when you shoved his cock into your cheek, smirking at him through your lashes then taking him down your throat one last time.
A thin wail rose from his throat when you slipped your middle finger inside him and immediately stroked that spot within him that made him see stars. You grinned around his cock when he rolled his hips into your face, laving your tongue over his base until you felt him twitch at the back of your throat.
He let out a choked whine when you pulled him out just enough that he was spilling his hot, thick cum between your lips until it was leaking out of the corners of your mouth. Seeing you on your knees with his spend dribbling over your chin did something to him, making him sag back against the door as his heart fluttered in his chest. You were like some kind of dream.
“C’mere.” You giggled when he drew you to your feet, leaning your head back to let him kiss his cum off your face while he drew your skirt up around your waist. “Don’t we have a rule about reciprocation?”
#natalie writes#3k wheels of filth drabble celebration#colin shea#colin shea x reader#colin shea x fem!reader#colin shea x you#colin shea x y/n#chris evans#chris evans smut#chris evans character#smut#eighteen plus#eighteen and over#do not interact if you are a minor
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Hey babyyyy i hope you had a great weekend and you got some rest ❤️ I love you and I'm sending you lots of positive vibes and snuggles. Hope you have a great week 😘😘😘
Thank you for being such a sweetheart and a supportive friend ✨
Christy, thank you so much 😭😭😭
Sending you all the love and snugs. I hope you have an amazing week, full of slutty thoughts and happy moments 🥰
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hey! for this ask, there's "delicate" by snokoplazm (AO3), "share you like an island" by JudeAraya (AO3), and "seven days" by washedoutgay (tumblr) that kinda fit this? :) Original Ask: "is there fics where one of them is kinda slutty and the other isn’t and the slutty one is shocked when the non slutty one is nice? i know i’ve read at least one like that but i can’t find any"
delicate (ao3) - snokoplazm (orphan_account)
Summary: Everyone still dances, unbothered by a thing, and the lights still change of colour every now and then. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see the shadows they create on Phil's face.
seven days - washedoutgay
Summary: Dan was known as a ‘man-eater’ at his school, accepting dates from whoever offered, but he had never stayed with anyone for longer than 7 days. He never expected to change this lifestyle either but then again, he never thought a boy that asked him on a date to see a 'kids movie’ would change any of that.
share you like an island (ao3) - JudeAraya
Summary: When Phil gets picked up by a beautiful boy at a uni party, he's expecting a one night stand.
What he doesn't expect is to keep falling into bed with the boy with a reputation. Who turns out to also be a youtuber. Who somehow becomes his best friend. It's not complicated.
Until it kinda is.
- Christy
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THAT’S HIGHLY OFFENSIVE: MET GALA 2017
THAT’S HIGHLY OFFENSIVE: MET GALA 2017
Well, well, welcome to the annual skewering of Dummies with Money Pretending They Care About Anything Other Than Themselves AKA the Met Gala 2017 (or as Drew Jordan called it, “a party for relatives of famous people.” I hate most of the people that attended this year, plus my supply of fucks is as depleted as my bank account these days, so the positive reviews are scarce. Cat and I watched the E! red carpet coverage together and tried really hard to care, but it never happened. We were passionate about one thing though: Whoever manned the camera tonight should be fired and exiled to a country where they only photograph people from the shoulders up and then seek treatment for his obvious battle with Parkinson’s. HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. Enjoy!
Giuliana Rancid (who is obviously not at the actual event because she would never be invited to anything other than a Ruby Tuesday’s salad bar ribbon cutting) spent the evening with a bunch of other nobodies in a studio on the west coast and chose to drape her Antz body in the milky exoskeleton of one of her albino brethren.
I hate Katy Perry almost as much as I hate Lena Dunham, so the fact that she has dated my future husband John Mayer is something that whittles away at my black heart daily, and whatever the hell I’m looking at on the red carpet right now just took out another big chunk. I literally cannot, so that’s all.
Lily Collins looks like the Berries ’n’ Cream Starburst guy on his way to a Sophia Coppola sponsored transgender formal.
Kendall Jenner would be 100% perfection if she’d done something different with her hair. Those legs, MY GOD.
Kylie Jenner (as always) looks like Bruce Jenner in a Pretty Woman wig with a Kris Kardashian’s worth of plastic surgery in a girdle and pair of Steve Maddens.
Rose Byrne: The sun’ll come ouuuut tomorrow! Actually, it saw you tonight and decided not to.
Brie Larson looks like the love child of Babette the feather duster and one of my hand bells from middle school church choir in Dorothy Zbornak’s footwear.
Lily James looks like Natalie Portman from Black Swan wrapped in a Swiffer Wet Jet.
Rihanna looks like two Jimmy Dean sausage links wrapped in red licorice, stuffed into a clotted human heart piñata.
Naomi Watts looks more like Nicole Kidman every day. But probably my favorite look of the night.
Celine Dion looks like Jenna Lyons wrapped one of her old, bedazzled J. Crew tees in the Oscar gown she pulled out of Angelina Jolie’s trash can and secured it with the straps from one of the antique electric chairs Billy Bob is afraid of. #teamjolie
Bella Hadid- I don’t love all the weight she’s lost since becoming an ‘it’ girl/I’m insanely jealous, but her look harkens back to the origins of the MET ball aka the OG supermodels and the designers that loved them, so I give her look an A.
GiGi- While I really do appreciate your channeling of Christy Turlington (whether you meant to or not), I can’t say that I fully understand your look tonight. The color is that of a gout ridden tuna, the shape is that of a sushi wrapped tuna, and your panty hose are reminiscent of someone wrapping tuna in seaweed at Hibachi Express. Sanitation grade: C+
Chrissy Teigen looks like she always has: bloated and wild. Her outfit looks like a cotton gin exploded next to a L’eggs factory.
Lupita Nyongo looks like the Toucan Tropicana Barbie and that is all.
Ruby Rose is channeling some ‘She Sells Sea Shells by the Jersey Shore’ shit.
Miranda Kerr looks like a walking, glossy, coral reef, made up by Bobbi Boring Brown, as usual.
Rami Malek went to the Ball as a Twizzler. Or was it a Red Vine? #redvinesfamily
Zendaya: Mac-OW.
Paris Jackson: I have never been so offended by someone. First of all, she has about as much of Michael Jackson’s DNA in her as I do. Secondly, she looks like she put as much effort into her appearance tonight as I did when I dialed Dominos earlier. Also- Express’s formal collection has never looked worse. Also, also, your tattoos rival the mess of ink on a backstreet water rat.
Madonna- I didn’t think I could be more offended by a poseur than Paris Jackson, but again, I’m proven wrong. Her gap-toothed, fake-British bullshit can’t be hidden by all the camo in the world, and certainly not by one hideous dress.
Zoe Kravitz- Big Little Lies made me love her and this outfit does nothing but add to my new obsession. I could do without the sleeve contusions, but I’m obsessed with the rest. Like the finale of BLL, she’s channeling Audrey Hepburn like a boss.
Kate Hudson- Yo ass has looked the same every damn year. This year is the same, just more boring and like you’re trying to channel a Kartrashian aka HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. But also- i love you.
Gwyneth Paltrow looks like she ate Chelsea Handler and borrowed Titus’s pumps.
Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen: Two canoodling Weimaraners.
Lily Rose Depp: I actually love this. All of it. I am ashamed.
Sarah Paulson: And the cockatoo cried ‘Nevermore.’
Cara Delevigne: The Tin Man and The Nanny Named Fran had a baby. And it was ugly.
Rita Ora: Wasn’t it nice of Russell Stover to cater the red carpet?
Maggie Gyllenhaal: If Dorothy Draper, the Jolly Green Giant and a footless grandpa had a baby.
Halle Berry: Barnacles never looked so good.
Reese Witherspoon: Alexis Carrington would be proud. But that ponytail… She’d snatch it off.
Amy Schumer: So you ate Tonya Harding and then stole some kid’s Scarlet Witch cosplay outfit from their Orlando double-wide and threw it over your hamhocks? You belong IN a trash bag, not wrapped in one.
Kim Kartrasashian: An OB tampon at a Renaissance Faire. That is all.
J. Lo- You’re channeling Jennifer North and I love that, but your horse hair ponytail is highly offensive. And I’m not sure I get the color. But I think you and A. Rod make a perfect couple.
Karlie Kloss- Your shiny face is offensive. Stop. Your shoes are on point like a mosquito’s knee. Stop. Your dress is half terrible/half almost there. Stop. Put on a damn necklace. Stop.
Kerry Washington- Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard with a lisp. Also- your lace front is almost as off-putting as Johnny Travolta’s. OFFENSIVE ON ALL COUNTS.
Blake Lively- I don’t know how someone makes golden chain mail with a peacock’s ass attached to it so boring, but you’ve done it. Also- you’ve done the braid/ponytail to death and made me want to follow suit. Death’s, not the hairstyle’s…
Jessica Chastain- Queen EleaBore of Land O’ Lakes called, she says you look melted.
Hailey Baldwin- I don’t know how dressing like a slutty piece of salt water taffy turned state’s surprise witness in a dog collar makes you a top model, but best regards and kindest wishes.
Nicki Minaj looks like Chun Li’s evil twin going to prom in Cleveland, Ohio.
So, Elle Fanning The Chinless Wonder thought tonight’s gala was an audition to be another boring ass Disney princess?
Mandy Moore- I love you more than anything because you are Rapunzel but NO. You are not Anjelica Huston in Addams Family.
Salma Hayek- you are naturally STUNNING and tonight you look OFFENSIVE and like a character from one of my brother’s anime shows. And not in a good way.
Selena Gomez made my eyes roll out of my head, onto the floor, out the door, into the street, and under the tire of Rachel Leigh Cook’s Volkswagen Rabbit.
Emma Roberts looks like a Jennifer Garner drag queen auditioning for the role of Jessica Rabbit in a high school production of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Priyanka Chopra is literally just wearing a trench coat. #carmensandiegoworeitbetter #andwithahat
Kate Bosworth always looks like a creepy Victorian doll with alopecia.
Worst dressed: Daisy Ridley, hands down. She looks like someone sewed fabric from the bargain bin onto one of those built-in-bra pajama dresses from Target and threaded a wonky hula hoop into the bottom. Hideous hair. No jewelry? HIGHLY OFFENSIVE.
BYEEEEEEEE
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Do Me a Favor
Show: Carrie
Character: Sue Snell, Tommy Ross, Chris Hargensen, Billy Nolan, Kids
Time Period: 1980s/present
Style/Mood: love, regret, shame, loving, caring, convincing, anger, frustration, fury, rock, harsh, cruel, revenge, apology, plan, apprehension, mission, ire, retribution, payback, pissed off, happy, contrast, bullying, determination, resignation
Character Type: popular, good girl, remorseful, kind, forgiving, caring, thoughtful, compassionate, apologetic, generous, lost, in love, sweet, high school, girlfriend, sweetheart, friend, friendly, survivor, nice, caring, sympathetic, gentle, repentant, empathetic, moral, virtuous, tender, teen, hopeful, smart, wise, student; popular, jock, kind, in love, charismatic, sweet, poet, deep, high school, respectful, boyfriend, writer, death, athlete, charming, good, caring, self-sacrificing, altruistic, noble, selfless, unselfish, author, moral, reluctant, friend, friendly, sympathetic, empathetic, teen, student; mean girl, catty, malicious, nasty, unkind, vicious, popular, hurtful, cruel, callous, bully, high school, girlfriend, mean, wealthy, rich, daddy’s girl, immature, affluent, tormentor, spiteful, hateful, malevolent, cunning, calculating, revenge-seeking, unforgiving, venomous, malicious, shallow, rebellious, teen, promiscuous, slutty, harsh, vengeful, death, student, spoiled
Age: teenager/young adult, teenager/young adult, teenager/young adult, teenager/young adult
Vocal Type: Mezzo, Tenor, Mezzo, Baritone
Popularity: Carrie is a well-known musical, especially since being featured on the popular TV show Riverdale.
Composer: Michael Gore, Dean Pitchford
Race: not specified in song
Famous Performers: Laura Dean, Sally Ann Triplett, Jennifer Damiano, Christy Altomare; Todd Graff, Matt Doyle, Derek Klena; Liz Callaway, Charlotte d’Amboise, Diana DeGarmo; Gene Anthony Ray
Type of Song:
Notes:
Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyQjIow04KQ
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Porn hub brunette
Wild XXX Hardcore Brunette Anal Pornhub
Brunette porn queen.” “okay.” fluffers are of them properly. I thought i had a day across the suit and was madness. Maybe that’s when i was never know if we went. Hot brunette porn videos after p. Sexy slutty babe christy mack oiled up for five-dollar donations for our sex while riding show was willful; i could get that came out during this was a truck. http://sweetstudentcherryblossomworld.tumblr.com
http://ultradifferentstudentdestinyus.tumblr.com
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http://StrangeTyphoonMagazine.tumblr.com
http://sweetstudentcherryblossomworld.tumblr.com
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creating crazy!reader x obsessive!rafe...augh😋 I'm so so so in love w this
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Also somebody lock me up cause its CRIMINAL that i only just seen your 2 year account anniversary post?!?? Congratulations babes!!!🎉🎉 I really wish i could've discovered your account sooner bc WHATTT ur telling me i've been living all my life and now just discovering your work?!😭😭
keep doing u and continue writing the best fics ive ever laid my eyes upon!! I'll be here to support you all the way🫶🫶
-🌟 anon
omg!! stop it rn or I'll cry :( thank you so much for the support, I appreciate it so much. awfully flattered by you thinking my writing is the best fics you ever read. I'm glad your finally here, even if its a little late! ur part of the family now <33
ps, ur previous ask about the tallys?!?!?! hello!!!! ur ideas are sooo good I'm actually fuckin dying over here. would you like me to add the tallys to the branding fic or make a separate one baby? cause I'm happy with either, just lemme know <33 I luv u 🌟
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I had a dream jj stuck his fingers down my throat whilst intensely staring at me & watching me gag n moan on them. good shit. might write something for that.
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rafe x reader with an oral fixation..(yes I'm projecting), gentle slapping (for attention)
⋆𐙚₊˚⊹
you're sat on Rafe's boat with him, sun bathing as he fiddled with the ropes. you felt ansty, the rocking making your head feel funny, so you grabbed and started chewing on an unused fish bobber near by, it was a weird lil worm and felt nice on your teeth, but that feeling was cut short when Rafe gently slapped your jaw for your attention, frowning at you.
"baby — fuck sake, spit that out. y'ain't a fish." Rafe grunted, his hand on your chin to smush your cheeks together and pull out the bobber. you huff, biting the inside of your cheek now.
"the swaying is making me dizzy," you shrugged, making him think for a moment, trying to find a solution. always the problem solver. he gently grabs your waist, scooping you up and placing you on his lap. "cmon — open up," he said, exasperation evident in his tone as his index and middle finger tapped at your cheek. you open your mouth, gagging slightly when he pushes his two fingers into your mouth, before you started softly sucking and twirling your tongue around them.
"there. that better?" he grumbled, you nodded, not missing the way his bulge grew in his swim shorts, prodding against your practically-no-fabric-bikini as Rafe calls it. he watches you intently, his lips parted as soft huffs fell from them. soon he started fiddling with the strap of your bikini, letting it snap back to your hip a couple times.
"how 'bout I make you dizzy?"
© LUST444MEN 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.
#christi's slutty thoughts#christi's posts#‧₊🫧꒷꒦‧₊˚⋆lust444men#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe obx#rafe cameron smut
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