I remember there was a theory Montana's Mallory's mother (before she died). I think, I'll use that in Reign. It'll bring the perfect unhinged energy AHS radiates.

I did say Mallory's parents are dead in Ch 1. So, the witch gene leapt over Montana, and Mallory's as powerful because she was conceived by two ghosts. Seriously, Trevor can fuck right off, long live (be dead?..) Xantana. Of course, ghosts trapped in the middle of a forest can't properly raise a baby, so, Montana's (witch) mother does.

Here's the unhinged part. Mallory and Michael are played by Billie and Cody. Montana and Xavier (who haven't aged a day) are also played by Billie and Cody. Bonus points, Satan might as well look like Cody, just have a beard or something.

Imagine if they showed up in public together for some reason. The complete chaos.

Someone: "Whoah, you and that girl look identical. The guys look identical, too. Are you all siblings?"

Mallory: "No. *points* That's my husband, and they are my parents."

Someone: "Your... Parents?.."

Mallory: "Yeah. It's a long story. My husband looks exactly like my father-in-law, too. And, he's the Devil. My husband's the Antichrist, I'm a witch, and my parents are both ghosts."

-

Poor Mal. To find out her husband and father look like twins. How awkward.

Now, I'm thinking about Satan showing up at Redwood, to tell Montana and Xavier they're going to be in-laws. I guess, he'd be powerful enough to remove them from their haunting grounds. Bring them to the wedding, maybe? Finally introduce them to Mallory? The three can put the Richard thing behind them.

I haven't done much work on Reign lately, but I do love this idea. You know, to complicate the plot.

A quick peek inside Satan’s quivering anus.

Also known as the company running ICE detention centers. So, all of us already know that these places are concentration camps. Most of us also know that these are incredibly inhumane places that show the true character of what we have allowed ourselves to become. And some of us have even heard that it’s costing $775 per day, per inmate to house these detained individuals. $775. That’s a lot. In fact, that means if 2 families of 2 parents and 3 kids are detained for a year (360 days actually), we as taxpayers are paying more for these people to be locked up in bullshit conditions than we are allotting funds to prevent public health emergencies in the average ENTIRE FUCKING STATE (California and New York excluded in this, because they are special cupcakes with super high populations and extra threat sprinkles on top).  Now, the humanitarian side of me has had my grits boiling since this shit started going down, but if there are any libertarians or fiscal conservatives reading, that bottom line, if nothing else, should piss you the fuck off too. Not just for the theoretical bit of it, but for the fact that the average detention stay per immigrant in 2019 has been 91 days, and nearly half of immigrants detained stay in detainment from 2 to 4 years. Sources sort of vary at how many are detained at CHS facilities (I’ll get to them in a moment, but for now know they are the reason for the $775 figure), but the ballpark spans from 20,000 to roughly 52,000 people. So let’s do some quick math here and do a best/worst/average. Say that figures have been inflated (that happens) and there’s only 9,000 people incarcerated at CHS facilities. Average length of stay has been 91 days this year, so we have a nice, simple... Carry the one... Holy fucking shitballs. 819,000 person-days. That’s $634,725,000.  That is $14 Million dollars more than the CDC spends during a full FUCKING YEAR in ensuring that EVERY health department can protect the WHOLE GODDAMN POPULATION with medical countermeasures to a terror event or pandemic outbreak. FOR 9,000 FUCKING PEOPLE. FUCK THE OTHER EXAMPLES, THAT’S THE BEST CASE, FUCK.  I’m just going to step away for a moment..   Okay.. Deep breaths. Back on track. Right. Ahem. So. Everyone else finish changing their pants after shitting bricks over the fact we’re spending national level budgets on a population smaller than  Anaconda-Deer Lodge County, Montana (I swear on any God you believe in, that’s a real name) ? Good.

I mentioned CHS earlier. Amazingly, it doesn’t stand for Child Herder Services, or Cold Heartless Sinners, or Cheeto Humping Slimeballs, though they’d all be more fitting. They are a private company, called, and get your asscheeks ready for this one: Comprehensive Health Services. 

COMPREHENSIVE HEALTH SERVICES  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

So this  company. Thiiiiis fucking company, owned by Caliburn International has the FUCKING BALLS to put health in their name despite keeping populations in cages with no water outside of the toilet, with no hygiene supplies, and the absolute minimum in terms of keeping people alive (with the most common issue being, you fucking guessed it, HEALTH complications) is charging us to detain people that most of us don’t even want detained, $775 a day. We’ve seen good chunks of these facilities, and they look fucking awful. Understaffed, overcrowded, minimal resources, and the treatment of (some) workers and (all) detainees as livestock. Does that sound, I don’t know, AT.  ALL. FUCKING. FAMILIAR?  So where is our money going? Our over half a billion dollars, of which even the tiniest scrap could give these people at least decent fucking detention areas (not that I believe they should be there as Asylum seekers anyways, mind you)? Let’s actually make this a game. Is it:  A) Corporate Interests with a heavy Lobbying Presence B) Some group of mostly anonymous investors that would likely feast on a newly starved child’s cheeks as they are “delectable and tender” if cooked properly   C) Some Trump Lackeys that got the contract  D) A company that also sells health insurance services Okay, 10 seconds on the clock.  And time! Okay, so how many picked A? Nice, nice. B? Okay.. Keep in mind I don’t know if they actually eat babies but they may just as well. It’d at least make them less human and thus easier to identify as an enemy. C? Aaah, that’s the high number I was expecting and that means D comes in with a small but decent following. WELL CONGRATS, YOU’RE ALL WINNERS! Here’s how:  A) CHS is part of Caliburn, which also owns DC Capital Partners, one of the bigger and well established lobbying firms in the country. And as any lobbying group does, they ensure that politicians bend to their will, increase their dividends, and weed out competition where they can to avoid a power struggle. Ever wonder why the NRA can never be competed with by a gun owners organization that doesn’t simultaneously deep throat their glocks while twisting their heads into their own asses?  B) Frankly, a lot of these funds are going straight to the private market and boy oh boy, does cruelty mean big business gains and a sturdy portfolio. That being said, you cannot separate the act of investing from the actions of the company you are investing in. If they do something fucked, you are essentially an enabler and an accessory to that action. Well, this isn’t ENTIRELY true. As it happens, some months ago they closed off an IPO of CHS specifically (an odd thing to do for a growing company) and cited “market forces” as the reason. How very suspicious.  C) Does this surprise anyone? So, while the actual list of investors is made private, there are an executive board of orange cocksuckers d’jour that have made this their golden parachute, or in the case of one asshole, was a lobbyist for DCCP, then in the Trump Cabinet, then went over to CHS. Here’s a quick list:  Former Chief of Staff John Kelly (aforementioned lobbyist)  Former Deputy Secretary of State Richard L. Armitage Former Ambassador Michael Corbin Former Commander-in-Chief of CENTCOM, Anthony Zinni Former Director of Science and Tech for CIA, Donald Kerr Former Head of CIA Michael Hayden (WHO PUBLICLY DENOUNCED THESE SORT OF PLACES AND ACTIONS AS BEING SIMILAR TO NAZI EFFORTS LAST YEAR) 

Former director of the office of the Budget for the U.S. Navy, Stephen Lotus.  Wow, that’s a lot of love between Trump’s appointees and a contractor, who yes D) also sold insurance services.  So that’s pretty fucked. And sliiight detour now. So, when I started out, like really started out, my first task was dealing with budgets. I still help from time to time, and have to work with contractors fairly often. Now, it’s usual that even if we know suspect that these contractors will give us the best deal every time, we have to do something called “competitive bidding”. That’s where we essentially throw the offer to the air, and whoever gives us the best deal, wins. Now this can be kinda manipulated a bit but in general, these records are open to the public so it’s better for us to just waste the time and actually go through a competitive bidding process than have the explain how we aren’t corrupt while looking pretty corrupt.  You know what didn’t happen here? Competitive bidding. It was a closed off contract. Completely in the dark. How very peculiar, isn’t it?  So, all in all, we have a bunch of fuckwits booted from the White House, sent to a company that has perhaps the most profitable contract of all time, acting like literal nazis, stealing from taxpayers and profiting off racism, suffering and inhumane treatment, all because they could with some bullshit nationalism narrative that’s been pushed by an asshole who can’t even spell check his fucking twitter rants.  Do what you can. But certainly don’t complain to companies who are giving resources to these groups to continue their round ups, for instance, all those vans which are owned by Enterprise. Certainly don’t contact them at 855-298-0346, whatever you do. They are busy people trying to make lots and lots of money. Don’t call your representative and tell them if they support this, they will lose by going to this website: https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative . And above all, DO NOT use your available resources to try and disrupt this “carrying out of justice” in any way you can safely. Heavens no, because this is America, and children, America doesn’t care if you’re an immigrant or a nationalized citizen. Nooo no no no. It cares about whether you can turn a profit. 

Thursday on TV: ABC shows us the real people behind 'When We Rise'

Tonight, ABC/Ch. 4 airs Part 3 of “When We Rise” (8 p.m.), the fine miniseries about the decades-long LGBT fight for rights.

It’s the early ’90s, and Cleve, Ken and Richard have all contracted HIV. In order to get the country, the government and the president to give those dying of AIDS any attention, Cleve creates the Names Project AIDS Memorial quilt.

The miniseries tells the story of the movement through the stories of a handful of real people — and they appear in “When We Rise: The People Behind the Story” (7 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4), and hourlong documentary that features Cleve Jones, Roma Guy, Ken Jones, Diane Jones and Cecilia Chung.

Elsewhere on TV …

• “The Voice” (7 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Blind auditions continue.

• “MasterChef Junior” (7 p.m., Fox/Ch. 13): The cooks split into two teams and compete to prepare corn dogs.

• Men’s college basketball: Montana at Weber State (7 p.m., Ch. 14)

• “Supernatural” (7 p.m., CW/Ch. 30): A chance to take out a nest of vampires backfires when the alpha-vamp shows up.

• “The Great Indoors” (7:30 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): Jack fixates on his relationship with Rachel to the detriment of the magazine.

• “Lip Sync Battle” (7:30 and 8 p.m., Spike): Clark Gregg vs. Hayley Atwell

• “Chicago Med” (8 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Dr. Rhodes cares for a trauma patient whose accident is a media sensation.

• “My Kitchen Rules” (8 p.m., Fox/Ch. 13): Lance Bass and his mother face off against Andrew Dice Clay and his wife. (Season finale)

• “Riverdale” (8 p.m., CW/Ch 30): Betty and Jughead’s probe into Jason’s death brings them to a home for troubled youth; an unexpected betrayal sends Veronica spiraling.

• “The History of Comedy” (8 p.m., CNN): “Spark of Madness” explores the mind of the comedian and why mental illness and substance abuse are remarkably common.

• “Portlandia” (8 p.m., IFC): Carrie tries to improve her passenger rating; the National Small Talk Convention comes to town.

• “Training Day” (9 p.m., CBS/Ch. 2): An internal investigation into a past shooting which could cost Frank his badge and freedom.

• “The Blacklist: Redemption” (9 p.m., NBC/Ch. 5): Scottie’s friend is falsely arrested for espionage in a dangerous foreign country.

• “60 Days In” (10 .m., A&E): Innocent civilians are selected to infiltrate Atlanta’s Fulton County Jail.

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